Scotlynd lay on the bed mind rambling as Sevyns light snores flooded the room. The morning sun was shining through as his terrace was left uncovered. This had become her routine over the last couple of days, as Sevyn hadn't let her leave since the party.
"Mmm, why you up so early," Sevyn asked, moving his partially nude body next to hers.
"Couldn't sleep," she replied. Sevyn groaned, stretching his body before looking over at the alarm clock. He wanted to say something about the way she had been acting lately, but he didn't want an argument this early.
"Something on your mind?"
"Sevyn... No, I– I'm just not tired, that's all."
Sevyn could tell she was lying; it was all in the way she slightly stuttered. He could fight a fight he wasn't going to win with her. Or get up and handle his business. "Aight."
Scotlynd still didn't move, like she was glued to this luxurious bed. She was experiencing something unheard of in the black community, swept under the rug. Depression. How dare she, the one who defied the odds, feel any trickle of depression. She had the man, she had the degree, and the survived. She had so many reasons to be happy, but she couldn't. In a moment when she had everyone, she never felt so alone. In a room full of people she only could feel herself.
"I got some business to handle today at the club, I'll be back later tonight." He spoke as he emerged from the bathroom with a towel hanging low, body covered in water droplets. Scotlynd bit her cheek, trying not to let her overthinking fuck something good up. But she could have sworn he told her he was going to the car wash he owned. Everything Sevyn was saying was becoming fuzzy, she didn't know who he was anymore.
"Okay, I'll probably go to my Un—"
"Nah. You good here." He said bluntly. He was waltzing around the room gathering his clothing, and body care items. He hadn't turned around after his calm demand.
"Sevyn, I've been wearing your big-ass t-shirts for days. I need to get some clothes, see my family. Boy, you cannot keep me held hostage in here with you," she laughed. Sevyns lips turned into a smile before he walked to his bed invading her personal space. With his body hosted above hers, he licked his lips before his face got serious. Scotlynd knew that look when his hazel eyes lowered and he lightly tugged his bottom lip in. "Ma, I promise if I ain't have to go handle this business today, I'd have yo little ass stretched out."
"I thought you had to go to the car wash," she threw out. Sevyn leaned up scratching his head. He didn't know what to say back to her, catching him in a lie. It wasn't on purpose, he was trying to protect Scotlynd.
Maybe she was too green, but somehow she thought he was just making money off his business, maybe his family. Sevyn was knee-deep into the drug game, so far that the only way to leave was by a bullet. Keeping her as far away from his affairs was best, that's why he had even started to lay low on the affectionate shit in public. Keeping her tucked away where he could keep eyes on her. Niggas were always watching, studying trying to find Sevyn Watson's weak spot. For a long time, he had none. He was almost untouchable. Until he wasn't.
"Huh?"
"You said the car wash yesterday and now you said the club. Which one is it Sevyn," she said, eyes trained on him.
"My mind be everywhere," he replied, backing up. "I'm heading to the club though. Pree and I got so shit to work out. Numbers ain't right.
Scotlynd stayed quiet watching him move about stepping into his clothing. She asked Sevyn if he was selling drugs but he had assured her he wasn't. So if it wasn't that, then it was a woman. She didn't think her heart could take the pain. When he leaned down to kiss her lips, her eyes closed.
"If you need to get some shit, you can use any of my whips." Her mouth hit the floor slightly at him tossing her a couple of stacks of money, a lone house key, and his Black Amex Card.
"But Scotlynd," he waited until her eyes were locked with his. "I don't want to walk in this house and you're not here."
She bypassed his words, before picking up the money and the card pushing it his way. "Sevyn, I don't want your money. I can go pick up some clothes from my Uncles. There's no need to waste money on clothes I'm going to just lay around in." Scotlynd held the stuff his way, but he still didn't take it. He study her, looking her over. He said nothing but his arms crossed. She shifted under his gaze. "I can have Tessa come to ge—."
"Nah, nobody don't need to know where I lay my head." He said seriously.
"But Desi can know?" she said with every ounce of jealousy in her body. Sevyn smirked slightly, laughing at her.
"Let me find out you feeling a nigga. But, no, she doesn't. She knows about a little crib I occupy from time to time. But you are the only person that knows where my house is. Can't let everybody up in yo space."
Scotlynd cleared her throat. "Seriously, Sevyn I don't want your money."
"I know." He replied. That had always been the case with her. She was too prideful for help, the type to suffer in silence. Even in her current dilemma, she would rather figure out her own answers, instead of having someone to help her.
"Sevyn take your money and this card. I'm not going to use it."
Sevyn leaned down and put a sloppy kiss on her lips, before leaving her stuck mid-sentence. "I'll be back," he called and a few moments later the door closed. All the items still lingered around her as she let out the biggest sigh. She sat, battling her mind, thinking is this what his love had brought her to do? Hell yeah! Scotlynd slipped the first pair of slides she saw neverminding they were too big. Grabbing the first set of keys she found, she pressed the button until it illuminated the slick black vehicle.
"What the fuck," Scotlynd queried. The doors opened up to the point it was in the sky. If she wasn't in detective mode she probably would have tripped at that discovery. In a blink of an eye, she was regretting her every decision. The car was sensitive, every time she would press, it would jerk forward from the pressure.
"God, I'm about to die," her eyes bulged as she slipped into the traffic. Kept the car far enough that he couldn't see her but just close enough that she could see him. Never in her life had she done anything like this, but for some reason, she couldn't shake the feeling that Sevyn was lying to her. Secrets could be so damaging, even the ones Scotlynd had to seem to have forgotten she harbored.
"Tessa... Tessa!" Scotlynd yelled into the phone. Her stomach was doing flips as she was just a car behind Sevyn. Her body's natural reactions to nerves were blaring through her. "Tessa, do you hear me!"
"Girl, you just woke me up," Tessa groggily said. "Why are you following this nigga anyway."
"Do you think Sevyn would cheat on me? I mean are we even... together. Shit. This is driving me crazy, got me out here doing all this," she stressed. Her face frowned at Tessa's uncontrollable laughter. "I'm glad you find my pain funny."
"Scottie, bitch first of all you tryna follow a nigga in a damn BENTLY. That nigga see you, he probably waiting to see how long you gon follow his ass," she clowned. Just as the words left Tessa's mouth, Sevyn swerved the car in front of the street cutting off the traffic. The cars slammed on their breaks and she followed holding her chest as her heart beat at an alarming rate. Scotlynd didn't realize how scared she was until he started directing the traffic to go around his vehicle and walk toward her.
"He's coming over here, oh my god. Tessa what do I do!"
"Scotlynd," Sevyn coldly tapped his knuckles on his tinted window. Scotlynd sat, not wanting to move a muscle. In her mind, she hoped that he would recognize the car, very stupid of her.
"Scottie open the door," he said nonchalantly. Ignoring the beeping, and glares from the ongoing traffic. When he got around Scottie, he was in a trance where he only saw her. It was a beautiful thing, but also dangerous for a man like him. Running his hands over his waves, he stepped back, narrow eyes trained on her as she struggled to open the door. Still in his shirt, boxers, and slides that swallowed her feet.
"Bitch, you stole the nigga car and got caught tryna follow him. Hold on, let me add Khavi."
"I didn't steal his car, I—," Scotlynd stopped talking as soon as she caught eyes with him.
He stood in front of her, looking unreadable.
"Scotlynd," Khavi laughed as soon as Tessa add her in.
"Hang up," he stated. No pleasantries in his voice. He stood tall towering her as he pushed her towards the car, leaving no wiggle room. His hand pinched his nose with irritation. "Sevyn... I'm sorry—"
Sevyns fingers swiped his face as his jaw tightened. He hated when she did this insecure shit, it reminded him too much of young Scotlynd. Sevyn was a grown man now, he needed a woman and not the little girl Scottie still acted like from time to time. Following him, the kiddish shit was getting old.
"The fuck is yo problem, Scottie... A nigga," he paused. He held his eyes closed taking a moment to himself. "You're supposed to be a grown-ass woman and you ain't carrying yourself as such." He stated. "When you want to be one... Cause this. This shit, ain't it. Just let me know ma."
Scotlynd mouth hung as he walked away from her after he just violated her. Even with no one around expected for the lingering cars her face lit in embarrassment. He turned around, cutting his eyes towards her, and tilted his head towards the car. Scotlynd scrambled to the seat and followed him and his reckless driving until he pulled back into his gated community. Drumming her fingers on the wheel she was waiting as anxiety was eating at her being. Her head held low, she just sat like a child waiting for punishment.
Sevyn looked at the car with a shake of his head and continued to the house.
"Tessa, Khavi one of yall come get me please," Scotlynd pouted into the phone. Sevyn had never talked to her like this, and her chest hurt a little. Was she childish? Immature? Scared, yes she was scared of true intimacy. However, she was a grown woman, maybe a little damaged but grown.
"Girl go talk to that man, scary ass," Tessa stated.
"Tessa shut up." Sucking up her pride she stepped from the car, looking so out of place in this high-priced community. "I'll call yall later." She expected to be ridiculed as soon as she walked in, but instead, she had to search for him. Once she found him, he was sitting in an office room, talking on the phone while staring her down. Nothing sexy or seductive about this look. Scotlynd turned to leave after seeing it was an intense call. "Stay." Looking his way, he beckoned her with his finger and pointed to the lush seat across from his desk.
"Pree, all I'm asking is you to handle it before I have to. And we both know that's something nobody wants." Sevyn ended the call and looked her over.
"So what's on your mind?" He asked casually getting up and pouring himself a cup of cognac. His eyes were low as he watched her shift uncomfortably in the seat. "Don't say nothing."
"There is noth—"
"If you gon keep lying to me, the fuck we doing together?" Scotlynd damn near fell out by his words, he was being so harsh with her. "I'm a grown man, Scottie, I don't have time for the petty shit. I'm looking for honesty, just as I am willing to give you. Anything here and now, I'm an open book. I expect the same from you."
Even if she wanted to have a smart response she couldn't, he was carrying her as a man should. Giving her every ounce of directness and honesty she craved. Scotlynd's eyes jumped around before landing back on his that never moved. "What do you want from me?"
"What do you mean Scottie? Shit, you know what I want. I should be asking you the same thing."
Her eyes rolled at his words, even though he was true. He had told her plenty of times what he wanted from her, but she never truly verbalized her wants. "I— I think."
"You think," he retorted with a smug look.
"If you let me finish Sevyn, damn! I think I'm scared of what you have to offer me. Not financial, I honestly don't want your money. When you love... you love so strong and sometimes. Sevyn, sometimes I don't know if I can measure up to that. To you.."
"Scotlynd, you everything that's good in this world ma. A nigga like me, as fucked as I am. I don't know why the man upstairs blessed me with you, but you something A nigga hold on to. Shit, I'm the nigga that ain't worthy to be loved. I'm fucked up, did a lot of fucked up shit that would have you looking at me differently. Hurt a lot of people. So, don't ever think you ain't worthy of love from a nigga like me... When you left me it fucked me up, I was dealing with al—"
"Sevyn."
"Let me finish, just let me finish... I was dealing with a lot, needing once to have a shoulder to cry on. Tired of having to be the nigga that kept it together, you feel me? As fucked as it sounds Desi was there." He saw the change in Scotlynd's face, her eyes rolling to the back of her head and her sigh of irritation. Sevyn stood and sat in the chair next to her turning her chair his way... His hands grazed her chin pulling it tautly his way. "We being honest right?" She nodded her head.
"When you left me, I went from hating yo ass to loving you, go right back to hating you. It fucked me up because I know we argued and I was fucked up for putting my hands on you. We both said some fucked up shit that night... But I didn't think that would have been the last conversation we'd have. Scottie when I needed you the most..." his glossy eyes lingered but a tear never dropped. He would never cry in front of her, he did once but never again."I had just lost my pops. Me and him may have never seen shit the same, but I had so much respect and love for him. Losing him turned my world upside down baby, and when I looked for you, the one time a nigga wanted to be vulnerable. You left me."
Scotlynd wiped her eyes, sniffling back her tears. "I'm sorry Sevyn. I—"
"It's good Scotlynd. Shit happens."
"So... Desi was there for you," she asked knowing she didn't want to hear the answer.
"Yeah, she was. Since the day my father passed. I'm real enough to recognize she carried a nigga at a time when my legs felt like they couldn't walk. I'll always respect her for that, I always have love for her based on that loyalty alone." His words were slapping her across the face so hard, she felt she had whiplash. She had never felt so small, so selfish. She couldn't even grasp the effects of her leaving would do to him.
Sniffling back her tears she tried to keep his gaze before her head dropped even more. Sevyn lifted her face and thumbed away her burdens. "Do you love her?" Scotlynd was choking on her words.
"No Scotlynd, but...," his shoulders dropped. "Desi, even though she wanted more than what I could or was ever willing to offer her. She held me down. So it will always be a level of appreciation and respect. '' Scotland couldn't take his honesty anymore, it was crushing her. She stood from the chair face soaked and tried to find the door, but Sevyn wrapped his arms around her waist pulling her to his lap.
"But Scotlynd, I ain't in love with her. It's only one person that makes me feel some shit that I can't explain. Some unnatural, some unsafe shit. Scottie the way you run through a nigga mind is almost crazy. I find myself thinking about you at times when I shouldn't. Ready to hurt niggas based on looking at you alone. So if there was ever a doubt that I love you, ma don't."
"I'm sorry, I left you Sevyn," she cried through sobs as she wrapped her arms around his neck. "Can you forgive me, I— ." He grabbed her face and pressed his lips to hers. Slowly muting her sobs. Both face opposite sides as they indulge in each other's fresh mouths. It would have prevailed into something more if Scotlynd didn't show so much restraint.
Scotlynd stood. "Zoo— My ex, he has been calling and threaten—"
"The fuck you mean he has been threatening you?! Why the fuck you ain't tell me about this shit when it first started." He raged.
"Sevyn I-" he held his hand up silencing her. Her lips were silenced as she watched him pull out another phone, one she hadn't seen before, and make a phone call. Scotlynd sat quietly as Sevyn raged on the phone only speaking to her about specifics.
"What's the nigga real name? Type of grown ass man go by fucking zoo," he said.
"Zolian Landry."
"Yeah, And get back with me," he slammed the phone down. His back pressed against the wall while his head shook. Scotlynd was too prideful sometimes, almost to a fault. "Scotlynd... you... man," he was lost for words.
"I'm so—"
"Stop saying you sorry, and just... just do better Scottie, damn." She watched teary-eyed as he walked out of the room. She just knew he was pissed at her and the day hadn't even really started yet. Truthfully, he wasn't mad at her, just pissed she didn't trust him to handle the situation. And trust it would be handled.
Khavi and Tessa sat covered up lounging on Khavi's sectional comfortably. House smelling like fresh cookies and vanilla. The two indulged in the homemade treats Khavi made as their eyes strained to watch the movie before them. "Her caked-up ass ain't coming," Tessa yawned.
"I hope so, I made all this stuff. Who is going to eat all of this? I can't."
"Khavi, speak for yourself 'cause I'll tear through that whole pan of brownies, don't tempt me."
Khavi threw her head back in laughter as the two joked and laughed until the knock on the front door interrupted. Standing she walked over, tugging her shorts down before opening it. She didn't get a good look before turning back and walking toward the couch. Her head frowned as she look at Tessa whose mouth was open with food crumbs. "Girl, why are you looking like that?"
"If this is how you open the door, I need to make sure to come around more." Khavi looked over her shoulder and saw a cheesing Jace with flowers. Her hands began to yank at her shorts that somehow rolled up showing the bottom of her backside. Her cheeks burned red from embracement.
"Can I come in? Or you want to keep me out here." he pressed.
"Yes, yeah I'm sorry, come in." she moved close to her kitchen island and watched Jace walk in. He smelled amazing and looked even better. "Umm. Tessa this is Jace. Jace this is Tessa." He walked her way shaking her hand and she looked Khavi away with a look.
"This ain't no regular white man Khavi. I see you," she smiled before turning towards the tv but still turned enough that she could be noisy.
"Hold up my lb's outside, are they cool to come in?"
"Yeah, that's fine. Just make sure they take their shoes off," Khavi called his way before sitting on the couch. Tessa elbowed Khavi as she wiped her mouth and tried to fix her clothing. Brushing her hands down her sweats and t-shirt to remove the crumbs.
"Khavi you got damn company, I'm about to go to the room." Tessa stood and Khavi grabbed her arm eyes begging and pleading. Reluctantly she sat back down with a huff. As the hour passed Jace and his two friends were cool for the most part. The light skin one keep looking at Tessa like she was something to eat. He wasn't her type at all.
Knock Knock
"I'll get it!" Khavi rushed from her seat, ready to get away from Jace who stayed trying to cope with a feel.
"Sevyn I don't need you to walk me to the do–," Scotlynd's words trailed off as she has seen the dudes in the house and Sevyn trailed just behind. Her eyes were big as she peered around the room. The eye's landed on the brown skin who was staring at her with hunger. When she felt Sevyn's body heat behind her she tensed up.
"Who the fuck is these niggas?" He asked stepping into Khavi's house, not acknowledging her no-shoes sign. Scotlynd was chewing on her cheek, trying to get Khavi to pay attention to the door. However, she set Sevyns outside shoes on her carpet.
"Wassup, I'm Brent. Thanks for dropping my shorty off. Ima take care of baby girl. Yo little sister in good hands," he said to Sevyn patting his back. Sevyns eyes followed him as he was talking about his woman. Scotlynd shook her head over and over. She didn't even know what was going on, it felt like an ambush. "Sevyn, I don't know him. I do—"
"Not yet, but the way that ass hugging them pants you gon get to know me real soon," he smirked rubbing his hands together. He wasn't reading the room at all, even Jace could tell something was off. However, Sevyn offered him a smile. "Yeah," he retorted.
"Scotlynd you know this nigga?"
"No, Sevyn I don't. I thought it was just a movie night I-," he walked over to her and pulled her close, and palmed her ass. A sure indication that they were far from siblings. "Nigga, check this shit for me. I don't know what you thought you came here to do. Honestly what any of you niggas thought yall came to do. But this one right here?! I wrote my name all in that pussy, so keep eyeing my girl and the only thing you gon get to know is a fucking bullet," he grimaced.
"Okay, everybody calm down. Jace, you and your friends need to leave before this becomes a bigger problem than it has to be." Khavi consulted. She was trying to smooth things over as she had them gathering their stuff to leave before Sevyns entourage followed in. Psalms stared at her, and back to Jace. Licking his lips slowly before nodding his head as if he was answering his question.
"Tessa, you pregnant, and this the shit you doing?" Julz yelled barging into the house with no mind to the people around. All he saw was red. The man didn't have time to think before the gun was hemmed up to his neck and Julz's spit was lining his face.
"Aye Khavi what the fuck is going on man!" Jace yelled sounding every bit of white when he tried to assist his friend only to back away when the gun was pointed his way.
"I don't even know that boy Julz," she said yawning, before grabbing her blanket and plate of snacks and sneaking off to Khavi's room. She was tired, happy to have the lame nigga out her face, but even happy to get out of the same room as Julz.
"Jace, just go. I'll call you later," she called as they scurried off towards the door.
"Nigga, don't be expecting shit," Psalms spat his way, before slamming the door shut in his face. Cutting off his words instantly. As the night died down, somehow this turned into the three duos separated from each other. Scotlynd wrapped in Sevyns arm as they watched the movie. Julz huffed in the corner as Tessa locked herself in Khavi's room, to separate the two. Then finally Psalms who lay at the end of the couch watching a stone face Khavi try her best to ignore him. However, he knew she wasn't too mad because if she was she would have everybody out.
"Stop touching my feet Psalms. If you not gon rub 'em, stop touching them," she hissed. She could hear Scotlynd snickering from the corner. Khavi let out a low gasp as she felt Psalms take her feet in his hand and give her the best massage of her life. She tried to wiggle from his grip because his touch alone was starting to leak in her panties.
"Stop touching me," she said with a snatch. He smirked, he knew he was turning Khavi on as her legs had been rubbing together since he sat like she was trying to soothe an itch that she just couldn't seem to reach. Psalms moved over towards her until the two were right next to each other. No breathing space at all. His hand found its way to her thigh. She swallowed trying to slow her rapid breathing as she kept her eyes trained on the movie that everyone was into. Right as she was about to move she felt him go for the kill. Ever so slightly grazing her garden, making her lowly moan and eyes roll. He snatched his hand out and fixed his posture as if nothing happened.
"Don't see that nigga no more Khavi," he whispered and she answered with a submissive nod. His actions had captured her words muting her completely.