Jesse.
Here I am, pining for her, following her to the bathroom hoping for something that is not there and she asks me to set her up with my friend. This must be a prank! Please someone jump out with a camera because I cannot believe that just happened. I turn the engine on and shift into first gear, leaving the driveway, before the Bluetooth connects to my car, allowing me to make a phone call. She wants love and romance? Then that's what she'll get. The phone doesn't ring for long before someone answers.
"Hey, Jay," a chirpy voice fills the car, "long time no talk, man."
Samuel and I have been friends since university, and we have stayed in touch even after; however, we have not spoken in a while because we have both been quite busy with work and life in general.
"Yeah, yeah," I cut the chitchat short, "listen, write this number down, it's Lily's," I say, and I feel like someone has just punched me straight in the gut.
"What?" the surprise noticeable in his voice. How can I blame him? He knows about Lily because I have always talked about her, about how much I love her, and how she is the greatest of friends, but I have made it a point to never introduce them. For some reason, a voice inside me kept telling me that they would hit it off, and my jealous ass couldn't take it. Lily was right, I am a prick. But I am making things right, now, even though it may just be for selfish reasons as I need to fix this glitch that's rocking my world. He is a great guy, he's got a good job, he's funny -not me funny, though-, polite, and sweet, and I know she will be in great hands with him, she will be looked after. Better to know that she is with someone I can trust rather than a douche she's picked up in a bar.
"You want it or not?" I bark, finding it hard to hide the animosity in my voice.
"Uhm, yeah," of course he does, he's been waiting for that since he caught a glimpse of her when he gave me a ride home one day, so I spit out the number without even needing to look it up; I know it by heart, well, I know everything about her by heart...the faded birthmark near her knee; the beauty mark below her cheek; the tattoo on her ribcage...
Damn, Jesse.
"Have fun," and, with that, I hang up.
By the time I get to Tiffany's flat, the streets are bustling, as they should be on a Sunday evening. I buzz, and her voice blasts out of the intercom almost immediately, letting me know she is on her way down. I lean on my car, taking in the surroundings; she lives in a nice neighbourhood, and it seems quiet and peaceful. Her flat is on the last floor, and I assume it gives her a nice view of the area; maybe I'll get to see it later. She opens the glass door, and steps out before lifting her gaze to meet mine. She has gathered her hair in a high ponytail, and she has dusted make-up on her face, even though she doesn't need it. Her long legs and arms are hidden under deep green pantsuits and jacket whereas a lace crop top hides her chest, leaving the fair skin on her stomach exposed; she is absolutely stunning.
"Hey," she says, shyly, clutching the little purse with both hands. I push myself up, and walk over to her, leaving a kiss on both cheeks, her vanilla scent penetrating every cell of my body. Yep, exactly what I needed.
"Hi, beautiful. Are you ready to go?" I ask, opening the car door for her as she nods and slides in. The car ride is quiet, and I am not used to it anymore; Lily is always chatting, or signing -well, screaming actually- or complaining that this is such a breath of fresh air, but even though I am comfortable, I still find myself switching on the radio, selecting Lily's playlist.
"Oh, I love this song!" Tiffany exclaims, her eyes sparkling, "it's Taylor Swift, isn't it?"
"I am not sure," I shrug, "it's Lily's playlist," and with that, I turn it off because I am supposed not to think about her, and this damn song is making me.
Tiffany shifts her body on the leather seat, turning to face me. "You are really close, aren't you?"
I nod yes, a smile appearing on my face. "We are. We have been best friends since we were six," I shake my head, thinking about all the time I have spent with Lily; all the afternoons running in our backyards, the bike rides, the water balloon fights. I find myself missing that period when life was simpler. We get to the Italian restaurant I have chosen in Clapham ten minutes later, and I struggle to find a parking spot until I see a little space that seems sent from up above. We get to the door just in time for our reservation, and the host escorts us to a table for two that had been already set up. The waiter approaches quickly, leaving the menus and giving us a few minutes to decide what we want to order. She flicks through hers, skipping the main course section, to find what seems like a salad by the look of it; and that's weird thing number two of the evening because every time I am out with Lily, she orders half the menu, digging into my portion as well.
Why on Earth am I comparing this poor girl to Lily again?
Once our orders are in, and wine has been poured in our glasses, I believe it is time to get to know one another better; I am closer to my thirties than my twenties and I am honestly thinking it is time for a real relationship rather than occasional hook ups.
"Well, I know what you do for a living," I chuckle, "but why did you choose midwifery?"
She darts her eyes to the side, wrinkles forming on her forehead as she thinks hard about her answer, but then she just shrugs, "it pays the bills, I guess." Almost instantly, my mind wants to interject to remind me of Lily, who's got into this profession because she is not just fascinated by the miracle of life, but also because she is an advocate for women's rights and has always declared that she would be their voice when they would be silenced. But I stop it; we are talking about Tiffany and her experience, and I am interested in that.
She crosses her arms over the table, inching closer to me. "What about you? Are you a businessman, or a lawyer, maybe? You do look like a lawyer," she smirks, but her assumptions kind of rub me the wrong way. Am I supposed to have a job that shouts masculinity? Because I don't. But this is our first date, and I am going to give her the benefit of the doubt.
I shake my head no, "Year two teacher, actually."
Her grey eyes widen with shock as she opens her mouth to accommodate the fork with the food precariously hanging on it. "I would have never guessed it," she states, "I mean, as long as you enjoy it, that's all that matters," but she doesn't seem convinced.
Here she is, telling me that I would be better suited as a lawyer, and then there is Lily at home, who's been cheering me on since the first time I have made her pretend to be my student when we were nine years old; she got an F by the way, her knowledge of dinosaurs was appalling.
Why are you doing this again, Jay?
I am going to lose my mind if I don't stop; I need to get her face out of my fucking mind. And I need to stop swearing like a sailor. I teach young children for crying out loud, what if I slip up in front of them?
Tiffany reaches for my hand across the table, resting hers on top of mine before squeezing it. "Hey, I hope I haven't offended you," she says, "I mean, I like you as a teacher as much as I would have if you were a businessman."
Thank you? Should that be comforting?
But I cannot forget the objective here, which is to stop thinking about my best friend in an inappropriate way, so I will deal with her, I will continue to go out with her if that's what it takes. I am sure she is going to improve; maybe she's just nervous as this is our first date.
I turn the watch on my wrist to check the time, and it is almost ten o'clock. In the past hour, I have heard about hospital gossip, fashion trends, her influencing career taking off, and what not; I drifted off over thirty minutes ago, and I have been nodding, smiling, and humming ever since. I don't want to sound like a dick, but she seems a bit shallow... but I am going to make it work. I had planned to take her to a club after dinner, but I think I have exhausted my social battery for tonight, so I drive her back home.
"It was a lovely evening," she breaks the silence, and I nod in agreement because I am a dumbass, Millie is right, "would you like to come up for a drink?"
I want to go, and I want to wipe Lily's face from my memory, but my brain refuses to cooperate. "I would love to," I say before being able to physically stop myself, "but I have work in the morning. Rain check?"
She nods making her way to me, a mischievous twinkling in her eyes. She presses her palms on my chest, lifting her head up and joining our mouths; at first, the kiss is chaste, but then Tiffany starts moulding her lips to mine. I can feel my whole body stiffening, and the thoughts in my head racing, choosing what to do next. She stops but she doesn't take her mouth off mine, so I grab her face with both hands, and I finally reciprocate her kiss. Her lips are silky as they brush against mine, but she doesn't taste of cherry lip balm. Of course, she doesn't! Why would she? She isn't wearing any. Tiffany is not afraid of kissing me; she traces my bottom lip with her tongue before biting and sucking it to ease the stinging. Her hands travel to my hair, stopping at the base of my neck and tugging at my roots while her tongue swipes against mine, deepening our kiss. I should moan, and my body should be reacting to hers onto mine, but it doesn't, and that's proof that there is something wrong with me. Thank the Lord, my lips are moving on their own accord because if they were at the mercy of my fucking brain, we would be in trouble. I take a step back, chuckling, pretending I enjoyed this make out session.
"You sure you don't want that drink?" her voice sultry.
"I wish," I lie -yep, now I am a liar- "but I really need to go," I reply giving her a quick peck on the lips before entering my car to drive home. It only takes me ten minutes to get back to what has become my personal hell, to which I am happily addicted, I might add. I am sure Lilith will be already sleeping, sadly, so I don't expect to find anybody when I open the door; I turn the key in the lock, but the handle escapes my grip, banging against the wall.
"For fuck's sake," I hear Lily shouting, a knife in her hand, "what the hell were you thinking? You scared the living soul out of me! I thought you were a burglar, Jay!"
I shut the door behind me, a confused look taking over my face. "A burglar with a key, Lil?"
"Now that you say it like that, it doesn't make sense," she rolls her eyes, "but anything was possible, mate. It's just 10 o' clock, what did you do with Tiffany? Go out and paint the town beige?" I can feel my nostrils flare at her words. Yeah, funny, ah-ah, she's quoted one of our favourite shows, but I just feel hurt at what she's said so I flip her off. Well, she's right but the fact that she's noticed makes me feel like a failure, like I should have been able to erase her from my thoughts, but I crashed and burned. "Sorry," she adds quickly when I walk past her to get to my bedroom, "I made brownies, your favourite," I follow the finger stretched in front of her and I spot a plate with my favourite chocolate treasures, "can we kiss and make up?" I cough at her choice of words; we could but I am not sure she intended it the same way I did.
I can feel the life reigniting my eyes as I just stare at her adorable face, and I know I am atotal sucker because I can't stay mad at her, not when her ocean blue eyes areboring into mine, "let me try them first."
***************
Hello!
Here is a shorter mid-week chapter for you :) Let me know your thoughts in the comments!
Love, Izzy.