Jimin has been noticing that there’s something weird about Hoseok these days. Usually, the dance captain would be obsessed with dancing. That’s how Jimin became his friend, after all. One of the many things they have in common is that they both live for dancing. When Jimin first joined the dance club, Hoseok was already there. He wasn’t the captain yet, but he was a very significant part of the team. They simply wouldn’t exist without him. He’s everyone’s friend. He’s always the bridge between the members, especially when they fight. Hoseok keeps the team intact, which is so much more important than just teaching them how to dance.
But because Hoseok also has the talent and leadership skills, he was made dance captain in his third year in the university. Hoseok is easily one of the most talented dancers in the whole university, and Jimin greatly respects Hoseok. Hoseok works really hard. He mentors all of them well, making sure not to leave anyone behind because one person out of tune with the movements will ruin the whole performance. Not only that, but he also makes himself available for any concern the members might have aside from dancing. He keeps the team’s morale up. He makes sure everyone is in their best state whenever they are dancing.
Hoseok works hard as a leader, but he works even harder as an individual.
Jimin dances all the time - and that is not even an exaggeration. That’s why he decided to pursue this degree, after all. He just wants to dance. That’s how he expresses himself. That’s how he makes himself the happiest. Jimin dances whenever he’s feeling positive emotions, smiling widely and thinking of all the happy moments of his day as he expresses his positivity with his movements. Jimin also dances when he’s sad or angry, letting out some steam and angst through his dance - with these moments making his dancing more aggressive than usual. And it helps. He can release all of his pent-up emotions through dancing, and that’s why he loves it so much.
So it’s not strange to see Jimin staying inside the dance studio longer than his peers. Most of them would just attend practice and meetings and leave as soon as they’re done with the agenda. Not Jimin. Jimin stays behind to dance. That has always been his priority - his purpose.
And that’s precisely how he got closer to Hoseok. Because just like him, Hoseok stays behind to dance too. When Jimin told him about how he expresses his emotions through dancing, Hoseok just understood him so well because that’s what Hoseok does too. Hoseok’s life revolves around dancing. There is nothing that Hoseok loves more than dancing.
So they stay inside the studio occasionally, even after everyone else is gone. They would dance together, talk about their day during their breaks, mull over some choreography together, and just have a great time hanging out as friends. That’s how they bond, after all.
But when Hoseok started leaving early and rushing off without telling Jimin where he was going, Jimin was intrigued. This is so unlike Hoseok. He values dancing more than anything else, so what could he possibly be doing? Jimin and Hoseok have been friends long enough to know each other’s class schedule, and Jimin is sure that Hoseok doesn’t have classes after the dance club practice and meetings.
So today, Jimin decides he'll follow Hoseok once and for all to find out what he’s been doing. Jimin feels a bit left out because Hoseok isn’t bringing him with him! He thought they were friends! Also, if this turns out to be something dangerous, Jimin has to do something to make sure Hoseok is okay! It’s his responsibility as his friend, after all.
As always, they finish their practice, and everyone prepares to leave the room. Jimin approaches Hoseok like he always does, patting his friend’s back and smiling at him. “Are you staying today, Hyung? Do you want to practice more with me?” he asks, even though he knows that Hoseok will definitely deny it because he’s always leaving to go somewhere lately.
And as expected, Hoseok just smiles at him, looking apologetic. “Sorry, Jimin-ah. I have to go somewhere. Maybe next time, yeah?”
Jimin just nods, not really planning on stopping Hoseok this time because he has a plan. “Okay, Hyung. We’ll practice next time. I’ll see you around!” he exclaims, waving at Hoseok, who’s already making his way out of the door and waving at him too.
Jimin waits for a few seconds before he rushes out of the room as well, sighing in relief when he sees that Hoseok hasn’t gotten far yet. He follows Hoseok close enough not to lose him but far enough not to be noticed. He’s pretty good at this. He can move fast without making too much noise that would get him caught.
He follows Hoseok as Hoseok makes his way to what seems like the music department. He must be meeting Kim Namjoon - Jimin thinks to himself. Hoseok is in charge of negotiating with Kim Namjoon for the song the club needs, after all. Maybe Jimin was just overthinking things. Maybe Hoseok is just coming here to do his job as the dance captain.
Jimin is starting to feel guilty for doubting Hoseok. He’s here, thinking about Hoseok keeping secrets from him when the guy is just on official duty, as responsible as always. But he keeps on following Hoseok anyway. He’s already here. He might as well stay until he sees Kim Namjoon or whoever Hoseok is meeting, so this stalking would be fruitful.
Hoseok makes his way to a room - the music club, according to the signs by the door. Hoseok opens the door, and instantly, there’s another person right in front of him, but this person is significantly smaller than Hoseok, so Jimin unfortunately couldn’t see the person’s face. Jimin watches as Hoseok leans forward to pull the person into a hug. Then the door closes behind them, forbidding Jimin from seeing anything else and drowning him in curiosity.
And so Jimin turns his phone on and searches for Kim Namjoon on social media. But as he finds Namjoon’s photos, he realizes very quickly that the guy is tall as hell and he couldn’t possibly be the person Hoseok is meeting. That person is a lot smaller than Hoseok. Could it possibly be a woman Hoseok is meeting? Perhaps he met her in the club after finding Kim Namjoon, so he’s visiting her whenever he has the time because he’s interested in her. That’s not impossible. Jimin and Hoseok never really talked about things like dating, so Jimin has no idea what Hoseok’s preferences are. Still, Jimin kind of just assumed that Hoseok would be like him - that he’d be interested in guys as well because he has that flamboyant flair around him, which is what made Jimin decide to get close to him in the first place. But, well, it’s never right to assume people’s sexualities, so Jimin shouldn’t even care too much about this. Hoseok is probably meeting a woman. Big deal. That really is none of Jimin’s business.
But Jimin is curious. He’s really, really curious. Maybe he should visit the music club one of these days. He just has to ease his curiosity. That’s all. He swears he’ll stop after that.
-
Jimin proceeds with his plan a few days later, during his break in between his classes. He makes his way to the music club and knocks gently on the door. When no one opens it after a few more tries, he finally decides to open it himself, slowly pushing the door open and peeking inside to see if he can talk to someone and ask if they know the person Hoseok has been visiting lately.
But Jimin doesn’t see anyone he can freely talk to. He must admit that this is a terrible time to visit the music club because most students have classes during this period.
Still, despite being unable to find someone to talk to, the music club isn’t completely empty. Because right there on the piano is a man playing so beautifully that Jimin is instantly captivated.
The thought of the person Hoseok was meeting ultimately escapes Jimin’s mind. Suddenly, he’s not curious about that because he’s too busy staring at the person playing and listening to the beautiful sounds he’s making with the piano. He has his eyes closed, fully immersed in the music, and Jimin would feel like a creep for staring at him while he’s in this state if he wasn’t too busy not giving a fuck about anything else other than the way the man is playing the piano. It makes Jimin want to dance.
Jimin very quietly shuts the door behind him, and he just stands there, staring at the man and listening to him play the piano. He stands there very still, completely captivated and unable to do anything but watch in awe.
It takes only a few more minutes before the man finishes his piece, and Jimin feels a gaping hole in his chest as soon as the beautiful sounds are gone, now replaced with complete silence.
“That was… amazing,” Jimin says in awe. The man snaps his head in Jimin’s direction, looking at him in surprise.
“Oh, I didn’t know someone else was here,” he says with a chuckle, and Jimin is surprised by his voice. For someone who looks so tiny, he sure has a rough and deep voice. “I’m sorry. Are you a member of the music club? I don’t think I’ve ever seen you before.”
“No, no, I’m not a member. I just came here because-” Jimin pauses. That’s not important now. He couldn't care less about the reason he came here. There is something much more interesting now. “I’m Jimin,” he says instead, smiling charmingly and going to where Yoongi is seated. “Park Jimin. May I know your name?”
The man nods and smiles back at Jimin. “Min Yoongi,” he introduces himself. “I’m a first-year music student. What about you?”
“Second-year dance student. You’re really good with the piano.”
Yoongi’s cheeks flushed red upon hearing the compliment. “Oh, thank you, Sunbaenim,” he replies, sounding so cute and innocent that Jimin feels the desire to tease him.
“You’re adorable. Are you dating anyone?” he asks bluntly, and he watches in amusement as Yoongi’s face heats up even more. He looks like a tomato!
“No, uhm, I’ve never - I’m not dating anyone. I’ve never thought of doing that before.”
Jimin smiles widely. “You’re really cute.”
Yoongi darts his eyes away from Jimin, unable to look at him any longer because he feels so shy! Jimin’s gaze makes him feel overly conscious! “Oh, Sunbaenim. You should take a seat. Here, let me get you one.” He rushes to the side of the room to get a chair for Jimin while also trying to calm himself down. He can’t embarrass himself any further in front of an upperclassman!
He makes his way back to where Jimin is standing and places the chair next to him before taking his seat once again, much calmer this time.
“Thank you, Yoongi,” Jimin says, his voice sounding so soft and mellow. He took a seat, and Yoongi had the time to examine his features. Jimin has a beautiful voice, and his face is even prettier. He said that he’s a dance student, so Yoongi expected him to be more muscular, but Jimin’s form is very lean, which fits his features very well. His eyes are small, but they are really captivating, making it even harder for Yoongi to maintain eye contact as if it wasn’t a struggle for him to do that already. His lips are also so plump, and Yoongi couldn’t stop his eyes from looking at them once in a while. He has very unique features. Yoongi is sure that he would remember Jimin even if he only sees him once in this life. His features make him really hard to forget.
“Thank you for the compliment earlier,” Yoongi says politely, referring to Jimin calling him cute a while ago. He’s a bit embarrassed, but he has manners, and he has to thank Jimin for being so nice to him. “You’re really… beautiful too. Oh, I mean, you’re handsome. I’m sorry about the word choice. It’s just that you have beautiful features, so I just-”
“Thank you,” Jimin says with a charming smile still etched on his face. “I’ve been called beautiful before, but it feels different coming from you. And don’t worry about the word choice. You can say anything you want. I won’t feel offended, I promise. I’m actually really flattered that you think I have pretty features. And you do, too. Has anyone ever told you that?”
“Well, sometimes, other students come to… see me and talk to me. The girls would put these hair clips and pins on my hair, and they would tell me that I looked really cute and pretty. I probably look really funny because men usually don’t use those things. But yeah, I hear that sometimes.” Yoongi laughs as he remembers those moments, though a bit embarrassed because he couldn’t believe he just opened that topic up to Jimin unprovoked. It’s just that Jimin is really pretty, and Yoongi just had a random feeling that out of everyone, Jimin would probably understand him the most. It’s not good to make assumptions, though. Yoongi hopes he didn’t make Jimin feel uncomfortable.
“Wow, you must have looked really good! I wish I could’ve seen that,” Jimin says with a pout, sounding genuinely happy to hear what Yoongi said. “And don’t think it’s weird to like things like that. Who cares what people think a man should look like or how a man should behave? Wearing cute things wouldn’t make you less of a man. Looking pretty won’t make you less of a man. And being all muscular and big and intimidating won’t automatically make you more of a man, either. If you’re happy wearing those things, that’s the only thing that matters. I just really wish I could’ve seen that.”
Yoongi looks at him in awe. Many people Yoongi met are really supportive, but Jimin sounds like this topic, in particular, is personal to him. He’s very pretty. He must have struggled with these thoughts too.
“They come here at around lunchtime,” Yoongi says, now feeling like he’s gotten a lot closer to Jimin even though they haven’t even known each other for an hour. Jimin just seems to get him. “The girls, I mean. They always bring adorable hair accessories, and they like using them on me.” He giggles, already feeling giddy just thinking about them. “You can come if you want to and if you have the time to, Sunbaenim. I’m sure they would look really pretty on you, too.”
“You think so?” Jimin asks, staring straight into Yoongi’s eyes.
“Yeah. I’d love to see you wearing them, too, Sunbaenim. But only if you want to! I just think they would suit you.”
“Okay, you can expect to see me here tomorrow, then. Not only that. You’d probably see me a lot from now on. I might even join the music club.” Jimin says the last part teasingly, making Yoongi laugh. Jimin thinks Yoongi looks even prettier when he’s laughing, showing off his gums and teeth and all. Yoongi is very interesting. Jimin wants to get to know him more.
-
That night, before going to sleep, Jimin lies awake on his bed, just thinking of the interaction he had with Yoongi earlier.
Jimin always knew he was not on the ‘manly’ side from the very beginning. He knew he was different from most men around him. He’s not as tall as them. His voice is not as deep. His features make it hard for people to even compliment him with the word ‘handsome’ because that is associated with those who are manlier. It doesn’t help that he decided to study dance in college as well, which isn’t really the manliest program out there.
Jimin struggled with his identity for a long time. For years, he tried to build up muscles and dress in ‘manly’ clothes to compensate for his lack of height and deeper voice. But it was never enough. People would find a way to mock him for something he can’t control. And he was never happy with what he was doing.
It took a while, but when he got into college, he started embracing the real him, not caring if people didn’t think he was manly enough or if they mocked him for his preferences. He’s done enough to please them. Now, he knows that he has to do something for himself.
And he did.
A lot of things have changed since then. Now, he feels more comfortable expressing himself in a way he never did before. He feels more comfortable embracing his attraction to men now that he’s done trying to avoid even thinking of it.
And this might sound ridiculous, but meeting Yoongi helps. It’s not even just about Yoongi being really cute and being Jimin’s type. It’s more about Yoongi sharing some of his experiences. When Yoongi talked about how he looked ‘funny’ wearing those hair accessories primarily made for girls, Jimin knew he had to intervene. No one comforted him when he was having those doubts about himself, so Jimin wants to be the one to give that comfort to Yoongi because he knows firsthand how it feels.
Even after Jimin started accepting himself, he still tries not to go overboard. He now wears clothes that allow him to express himself better than before, but he never tried to walk past the line by trying things that are made for women. He’s not quite there yet. There’s still fear inside of him. He’s not that brave yet.
But when Yoongi invited him to try those hair accessories the very next day, Jimin finds himself gaining the courage to finally cross that line. If Yoongi can do it, then Jimin is sure he can do it too. And Jimin wouldn’t have to do it alone. He’d have Yoongi by his side - Yoongi, who thinks he looks really pretty and means it as a compliment instead of an insult. Yoongi understands him way more than people who have known him for a very long time. He’ll be fine if Yoongi is there. Maybe he can finally cross that line without feeling guilty. He can cross that line with Yoongi by his side, and Jimin would no longer be afraid.