The dim light from a single bare bulb cast shadows across the cluttered storage unit, lightly swaying as the breeze from a small, opened window brushed against it. Two dolls sat side by side on the edge of a creaky bed, an uneasy silence hanging heavy between them.
"Throwing Mandy into the washing machine?" Nolan's voice was strained, uncharacteristically confrontational. "Just so you could keep her here, 'perfecting' other dolls?" He knew that the two used to be close, and that their bond slowly deteriorated as time went on, but Mandy never mentioned this part of the story in her retellings. He supposed this was something sensitive to her, which made him more upset at the blond for doing such a thing. "You damaged her vision throwing her into that thing!"
"I know how it sounds, Nolan. And I regret it, I really do." He slumped back on the bed, arms laying over his eyes. "But you must understand, I'm just a prototype. I'm here to ensure perfection in every doll, and Mandy helped towards--"
"Why do you keep on calling yourself that?"
"Calling myself what?" Lou moved his arm to look at the other doll.
"A prototype. It almost sounds like an excuse."
Lou flinched at the accusation as he sat up, trying to gather himself quickly. "Excuse? It's not an excuse, Nolan, It's a fact. Do you really think I wanted to hurt Mandy, o-or Ox or any of the other dolls just for the fun of it?"
Nolan stayed silent.
Desperation began to edge into Lou's voice. "If I didn't do everything in my power to maintain perfection and eliminate imperfection, as I was instructed to do, then I'd be the one being recycled!"
Nolan seemed slightly taken aback, unaware of the possibility that he could be recycled as well.
"...So you were... scared of being disregarded."
"Of course I was scared! What doll isn't?" Lou's voice cracked as he forced the words out. "But I never intended to hurt Mandy as badly as I did. ...I put the washing machine on the lightest settings and made sure the paint was watered down enough to be easily to wash off. But I guess that didn't do much."
The weight of his own actions seemed to press down on Lou even more now that they were being openly discussed. Nolan could see the anguish in his eyes and, despite his anger, felt a wave of sympathy towards him.
"I didn't want to hurt anyone. ...But I didn't want to cease existing either."
The room fell silent, the muffled hustle and bustle of the institute being the only thing heard from the shed. After several moments, Nolan sighed and looked at Lou, his expression softening.
"That was... selfish of you, Lou." The words sounded mean to Nolan, although they were true. "But I'll believe you when you say that you didn't want to hurt anyone."
He hesitantly placed a hand on the doll's shoulder. "You need to apologise to Mandy, though. You owe them that much... And to Ox, Moxy and gang... Uhh..." Nolan began to ponder of anyone he was missing from the list.
"And you think that I can just waltz up and talk to them? They hate me."
...That's probably true, the doll thought with a sigh.
"Whether or not they hate you isn't the point. And I don't know If they'll even accept an apology, but it's at least worth a shot."
Nolan stood up then, facing the other doll who was staring down at his lap, looking like he was mentally recalling the past.
"We'll go together, okay?" Lou glanced up to find a hand before him, gesturing to help him up. The scene almost appeared familiar to the doll.
"...Right."
...
The sun dragged itself into the afternoon as Lou and Nolan approached Mandy's quaint little home, surrounded by a yellow picket fence and blooming roses. Despite the houses around her being off all different colours, the doll seemed to go with something more simplistic but still uniquely her. The brunet opened the gate, leaving it open for the other to follow nervously. It was almost strange to see the two in this moment, as an outsider would say that their personalities had swapped, with Nolan nonchalantly approaching the door without a worry in the world, and Lou keeping behind him, anxiously gazing upon the house.
"Are you sure about this?" Lou asked Nolan, uncertain if visiting Mandy was the best course of action. "I mean, do you think she'll hear me out?"
"No clue. But she did say that you two used to be close, so uhm... Maybe she'll give you a chance to speak?" He gave him a reassuring smile, though a small amount of doubt was visible in his eyes.
"Now, hopefully she's here..."
As they reached the doorstep, Nolan raised his hand to knock on the door. Lou began to regret ever agreeing to this, but the need to apologise kept him from running. Eventually, the door creaked open, revealing Mandy, eyes a light red from crying. Her face contorted with anger and hurt upon seeing Lou standing there, remorse et ched to every feature. She crossed her arms over her chest, clearly on the defensive.
"W-What is he doing here?" She stammered, looking over to Nolan accusingly. He smiled apologetically at the cherry-haired doll, trying to reassure her, yet failed miserably as he noticed her glare.
"Lou is here to apologise..." He trailed off, watching the way that Mandy's body tensed up at this.
"Apologise? You think that a 'sorry' is enough after what you did?" Mandy snapped, her eyes welling up with tears as she glanced at the blond.
"Mandy, I know that you're upset, reasonably so. What I did was... cruel. But please, just give me a moment to explain myself, and apologise properly." His tone was soft and sincere, atypical to how he used to be. Mandy looked at the two, her gaze turning to Nolan who was staring back pleadingly. After a long silence, the doll's expression softened considerably, as she opened her door, allowing them to enter.
"This better be good."
The blonde wandered in, Nolan following not too far behind, mouthing "thank you" to Mandy as she closed the door with a soft slam. The home's interior hadn't changed much from when the Institute of Perfection was still a thing, pink wallpaper covering each wall and various knick-knacks still scattered around in a somewhat organised fashion. Lou sat himself on one of the two yellow sofas that were placed opposite to one another, watching as Nolan sat beside him, Mandy sitting on the other sofa, her hands folded tightly, as she waited for whatever explanation Lou was willing to offer.
Lou took a deep breath and began to pour out his heart. "Mandy, what I did stupid and selfish- throwing you in the washing machine and... damaging your vision as a consequence. I didn't know that I would do that much damage; I put the machine on the lightest settings and everything, but... that shouldn't be an excuse for what I did. I wish I had never done it."
"Then why did you?" She retorted immediately, causing him to look away ashamedly, letting out a shaky breath.
"Because you helped so much with bringing perfection to the dolls, and if the dolls weren't perfect enough then... I'd be the one going into recycling." Nolan noticed Mandy's eyes slightly widen, as if she too was surprised by this. "But that shouldn't be and isn't the most important reason, I know that now. Truth is, I didn't want you to go to the Big World because I'd miss you. I didn't want you to leave; you were a very good friend of mine."
Lou stared down at his lap for a few seconds, until he looked up again and found Mandy with a frown etched onto her face.
"It was selfish of me, I know. Trying to recycle you and Moxy was also incredibly selfish of me. And I'm not expecting you to forgive me immediately, or at all. But... At least know that I am deeply sorry for what I've done, and I want to make things right."
A short silence followed between the three, as Lou bowed his head.
"...I suppose you had similar motives with Ox, then." The statement caught Lou off guard, prompting him to look back at Mandy, who seemed to be regarding him with suspicion. Better than anger and sadness, he supposed. "You were friends with Ox before me, and he had the same dream of leaving for the Big World. And you gave him a false hope of being able to leave, before trapping him here with lies, and eventually trying to recycle him."
He stayed silent for a moment, before mumbling: "I never thought about it like that... But I suppose so, yeah." At least, on that occasion, he was told to dispose of Ox, rather than doing it on his own accord to ensure 'perfection'.
"You considered us friends, but you still went through with hurting us, because you didn't want to be recycled... That is no way to treat friends, Lou." Mandy concluded after a moment, "But who would be recycling you, anyways? The factory? The factory happily accepted the Uglydolls, because if they didn't, I doubt that the dolls would have the loving children they have now. So who...?"
Their voice began to lower as she glanced over to the blonde. He didn't respond, no, but his expression said everything. He seemed zoned out then, eyes hollow of emotion, head drooped down and shadowed by the lightbulb that centred the room. The freckled doll lowered himself to the level of the other.
"...Uh, Lou..?"
"Hm?" He lifted his head, instantly snapping out of the state he was just in. "Mandy... Whatever would've happened to me doesn't matter. What does matter is that I hurt dolls such as yourself, Ox, Moxy... and Nolan as well."
"Huh?" Nolan gave a questioning look.
"I openly insulted you, didn't I?" He flicked the golden sign wrapped around the doll's neck.
"Well, uh... Yeah? But 'ugly' is seen as more of a compliment now than an insult. A-And I've been doing a lot better recently thanks to friends... So it really doesn't matter to me now."
"Maybe. But that doesn't take away the fact that I insulted you and other dolls. I feel that an apology is needed."
"You've got a lot of apologising to do, then." Mandy spoke in a fragile voice, exhaling deeply. "You've hurt a lot of dolls, which I think you know... But I at least appreciate that you're trying to redeem yourself. It's going to take time, though, Lou. Trust doesn't come back easily to everyone."
"I understand that..." Lou nodded gravely. "Thank you for hearing me out, at least."
With that, he slowly stood up, making his way towards the door. He paused upon opening the door however, hearing a voice from the other room.
"Uhm... Are you doing okay now, Mandy? I'm sorry if bringing Lou here was too sudden." Nolan spoke up, hugging Mandy tightly. Meanwhile, Lou pressed his ear against the wall to listen in.
"I'll be fine, Nolan, don't worry."
"I hope so... And I didn't know about what happened with your vision, you really didn't deserve that..."
Lou's heart sank at that moment. What he said previously was true, he didn't want to hurt anyone. Things such as the washing machine and recycling were considered last resorts to him, and even during those few times when he used them, it was only to keep up perfection. And keeping up perfection meant that they would turn a blind eye on him.
He raised his head, unsure to continue listening, until Nolan spoke again, releasing Mandy from the hug. "But it seems Lou does regret what he's done... So I don't think we should isolate him as much as we have...."
"You think?" Mandy questioned, though there was slight curiosity in her tone.
"Yeah. I mean, he was a jerk to just about everyone," Lou winced slightly, but he knew Nolan was right. "but he's also my friend, even if he doesn't think so. And deep down, I think he does care about his actions... It's just hard to tell." Lou felt a twinge of sadness as he heard this but tried to shake it off, turning to open the door.
Mandy considered his words, eyebrows furrowing slightly. "I don't know what to think at the moment... Maybe he does care. Maybe he doesn't. But if you consider him a friend, then I'll trust your word..." Nolan smiled upon hearing this.
"But you're my friend as well, and I don't want you to get hurt. So be careful, okay? If things start getting worse, tell me."
"I will--"
A soft slam of the door cut Nolan off, the two realising that Lou hadn't left until then.
...
The blonde walked through the streets of houses, disregarding the many dolls milling around in little groups and their looks towards him. Instead, he kept his gaze forward, lost in his own thoughts.
He was considered... a friend?
Nolan considered him a friend.
Even after what he did...
He wasn't sure if he was worthy of being called a friend, but he supposed it was nice to be considered as one. It had been a while since he had someone that wanted to be by his side. Ox was his first friend, but then Lou went on to try and recycle him. Then it was Mandy, but he hurt her badly, even if partially by accident. What if he somehow screws up with this as well? ...Surely not. He knew what he did, and he was trying to make amends. Surely now he wouldn't screw it up again.
...Right?