*
A WEEK LATER
Things has gradually died down in regards to the battle in Shiganshina, and winter is just around the corner. The air has grown colder, and the days have become shorter due to the weather change and glacial air. People began stocking up more quickly, and work has been scarce for the people that were farmers.
Hanji has also been working hard in organising, and adjusting to her new role as Commander of the Scouts.
Though we didn't discus our own personal feelings about how we really felt, it was all left at the graves on that day at the memorial. Simply, we couldn't bring ourselves to dwell on it further, and focused in restoring our land and eliminating the titans that lingered behind Wall Maria. Though we are currently safe for now, we now know we have enemies behind the walls.
Not titans.......but humans.....
*
Sitting tucked inside the warmth of my office, a blanket draped over my lap, I was focused only on signing reports and old reports. With myself as Section Commander, and Hanji's right hand woman now, my role has become very important. Though with my pregnancy in the way, I was given orders to not excel into any activity or anything that will cause harm to my child.
My hand drifts to my stomach instinctively, gathering warmth while my eyes glide along the reports that addressed to me personally to review.
A short grunt leaves my lips, my forehead creases while feeling slight cramps settle near my lower abdomen. Pursing my lips in a thin line, I take a break from work and lean back to feel slight cramping causing little discomfort again. My fingers knead my stomach a little, trying my best to ease the pain. My heavy breath of air pushes past my lips shortly, as my eyes trail back to the small pile of papers neatly stacked.
~Knock~Knock~
"State name and--" I cut myself off with a sigh, rolling my eyes finding no use in asking anymore. "You can come in!" with a short inhale, before exhaling deeply.
The door creaks open before seeing Levi, walking in with cups of tea in hand. His face rests comfortably with no sign of a scowl or irritation, only noticing the slight light brightening his silver blue eyes. The sound of boots were soft, yet firm, indicating it was just a normal visit than anything demanding.
Laying the tray down on the empty spot on the desk, he bends slightly forward brushing a few strands of hair from my eyes.
"You doing alright?" his forehand rests on my temple, pushing my bangs away. "You have no fever which is good, but you must be tired, my love."
Humming softly I lean into his touch, "Yeah, but this work needs to be done--"
"Take a break for a few minutes, or even half an hour...." He insists firmly, his eyes turn a little more stern and with a slight commanding tone. "I've brought in some green tea for you, less caffeine and it's your favourite......so drink up and replenish your body, please?" he walks around the desk and stood beside me, his fingers raking through my hair, with a soft pleading look in his eyes.
I'm still getting used to his own tender and considerate side, but it makes me fall more in love with him as the days go on.
"Okay," taking the cup of green tea, I slowly lift it up to my lips and blew gently. A few seconds later adjusting the temperature, I sip it slowly allowing the warmth to soothe my raspy throat and loosen my concerns. Swallowing the sweet tea, I take a moment to lean back and close my eyes, letting it sink in.
Levi made himself comfortable beside me, pulling a wooden chair beside me and grabbed his tea as we spoke to each other for some time. His voice was quiet, yet so soft, mellow and warm that I could listen to his voice all day. There were no concerns, no quarrels, no titans, no violence, no political matters to discuss......It was just us two, as a couple, lovers just having a decent conversation between ourselves.
Soon he takes my cup and placed it on the tray, and pressed a soft kiss to my temple whispering to take it easy. Watching him walk out of the room, all I could do was smile as the door clicks shut behind.
*
SCOUTS QUARTERS
Resting against the headboard of the bed, after a warm shower and a warm health meal, I was sketching some flowers that were my favourite. One in particular, was a rose that stood out the most in the centre of the flowers. The different hues of grey toned the sketches, as the pencil gravels against the rustic coloured paper.
Adding small details to the rose, I sharply place small spiky thorns along the rough stem.
My head however was somewhere elsewhere, finding myself sinking further dwelling on Levi's health. He's been working himself so much, we barely spent time except the rare visit in the office or we pass by in the hallways. Yet, when he has a scowl on his face, it smoothly softens when his eyes fall upon me. I've always been concerned, but he tends to keep things to himself and sometimes it even irritated me.
The sound of the door creaks open, before closing as my eyes flicker up to see Levi walk in slipping his boots off, neatly leaning them against the wall.
My eyebrows furrow, "Everything alright?" my questioning lingering in the air.
The air grew heavier noticing his eyes meet mine for a split second, seeing his gaze soften. "Yeah, I'm just....gonna have a bath...." he trails off, his voice grew hoarse and gravelly. "....Won't....." he heavily sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose before raking his locks back for a moment. "....won't be long, m'kay?"
Soon he enters the en suite without another word, leaving me sitting there disconcerted and bothered for him as he didn't seem like this earlier today with the way he trudged in.
Hearing the bath being run all I could do was tap my pencil against my book, my eyes flickering around with my mind not even focusing on my sketch. My eyes linger to the door where he just walked into, before I sigh deeply reluctantly standing up and making my way over. With a gentle timid knock, I hear a grunt follow after.
"Hey, it's just me......" I softly spoke, not hearing a reply I know he's already undressed and soaking in the water. Slowly I open the door, I was greeted with a heavy warmth of steam covering the room like a blanket. Carefully walking over, I knelt beside the bathtub and rested my elbows comfortably, hearing the water sway against the walls of the tub.
"Did something happen, after you visited me?"
He remains quiet while his eyes stare into nothing, like he was choosing and considering his next words. Reaching up I brush a few strands away from his hair, but he clutches my wrist in his damp grip. Without another second he sighs, before lowering my wrist drawing smooth wet circles against my palm.
"I'm fine........just been in deep thought," he dismisses my concern, but hated to reveal a side of vulnerability for a moment. His eyes flicker down to meet my tender gaze, "Don't worry about it, it's fine......just a stressful day. If you stress over me, it won't be healthy for our child...." his eyes trail down to my abdomen, that wasn't as noticeable currently as it's been a month and two weeks.
Chuckling with a light scoff, "I won't stress much, but I do want to help in anyway for you," assuring him, when he presses a soft kiss to my knuckles. One by one, his lips caress my knuckles for a while, savouring the small moment. My eyes were soon trailing along his muscular chest and shoulders, scars littering across his pale flesh with red and blue blemishes from previous heavy wounds.
My heart ached seeing his wounds, but we both hold them.
"Hmmm.....I know," he murmurs lowly, with a hint of endearment lacing in his tired voice. "I will be out shortly, you just rest, please?"
For a few seconds of hesitating to leave, I soon push myself up, "Okay my love," and pressed a kiss to his temple and made my way out to the bed. Glancing back over my shoulder to meet his soft gaze, I close the door before heading over. The light was dim and a soft glow, that made it more cozy and warm inside. Lying back into bed I rest against the headboard, and took my sketch book out again and began to sketch small little random drawings.
Being so consumed with worry and concern for Levi, I didn't realise he was finished as the door creaks open.
My eyes lift up to see him dressed with only comfortable pants, that rests comfortably around his defined waist. He was ruffling his wet hair dry with the towel, tousling it as it hung over his eyes with small cute waves. Soon my eyes trail down his exposed upperhalf seeing his scars again, but they were old ones I tended too over the years we spent. Slowly he throws the towel neatly over a chair, and rakes his fingers through his tousled fluffy hair.
"Ready to talk?" while my eyes trace over his defined muscles, that glistens with droplets of water.
He grew suddenly hesitant, as if something caught in his throat for a moment. "I'm alright......"
My hand scrunched the sheets in my grasp, knuckles turning white with frustration as I wanted to pry for him to tell me. Yet, I didn't have the heart to push him further, than he already has been through.
No........I love him, and I must get through to him and hope for the best....
He sits at the edge of the bed as the mattress dips beneath his weight, his back to me with a heavy sigh drawing from his lips. Crawling to his side my hands tenderly drift from his back to his right shoulder, while I sat pressed against his left side. Pressing a soft kiss to his shoulder, I lean against him with some warmth and comfort. Not knowing what is going on in his head, I still wanted him to at least know I'm here.
"Something we can't discuss together, or is it other reason--"
"Akira......"
His voice grew more stern, with gravity in his tone that left a small chill to run up my spine. My hand lingers on his heart side of his toned chest, my eyes look at him from his side profile.
His breath grew shaky for a moment, his eyes sliced to mine "........I'm not the best when it comes to romantic gestures, or I may not give you enough attention than what you should deserve......but I do know one thing....." he placed his large hand over mine, holding it delicately over his heart, as if this conversation has changed. Emotionally. ".......that you have never given up on me, the person I am today........is because of you...."
His words hung in the air, while my eyes widen with surprise with his sudden declaration.
He scratches his cheek a little averting his gaze from mine, ".....we've been through shit together, fighting against more than one foe to the next....but you kept going no matter how bloody it's gotten," He continues, his voice softening with every word that leaves his lips. His hoarse voice cracks, before he clears it smoothly. "......and it makes me fall more deeper for you, and a child on the way? I want nothing more to commit my life to you...."
"Levi?"
He turns fully around before taking both my hands, feeling his rough palms graze my softer ones. "We both are like raging storms, but..........when we're together it's like a tranquility I never felt before........I found my peace in you, Akira."
".....I...I.."
"You don't have to say anything, there's more....." Unable to comprehend his confirmation of his love, he raises my left hand in front of both of us with a steady and firm gaze. It was like he decided to do something, but I couldn't predict what was going to happen. "You're my other half......my soulmate and my best friend....."
His eyes soften with an expression I've never seen before, ".......Akira, will you become my wife....?"
There in that moment, my heart fluttered and my body grew warm with an overwhelming rush of emotions.
"Yes.......yes I will....." my voice cracks, feeling warm tears roll down with this some relief I've held in. It was as if he finally accepted all of me again, but this time it was a new feeling soaring in my heart and chest.
He kisses my ring finger while caressing beneath my palm, his lips lingering soothingly.
"Thank you.........I know it isn't much, but I needed to tell you," he breaths out with relief, before he reaches up and tucks a strand of hair behind my ear. His touch was so tender and delicate, before he cups my face drawing me closer to him. Leaning in towards him, our lips meet with just a longing of love between us.
Moving slowly in sync, he couldn't help but smile against the kiss.
"I've got you now........and I'm not letting go...."
*
TWO DAYS LATER
Word has spread of the news between Levi and I, because obviously who would dare spread rumours? Hanji. Even the 104th received word, so now when walking in any part of the headquarters or anywhere exactly, I would hear congratulations. To be honest it felt nice to have a different atmosphere within the HQ than mourning, knowing it wouldn't bring anyone back.
Though at first I assumed it was selfish, but soon I received reassurance that it was the best news they could get .
Hanji paced back and forth muttering under her breath, while I sit down drinking some tea with my squad as they chattered amongst themselves. When they all found out about my pregnancy before, each of their reactions were adorable. Jean was surprised, but he absolutely has given me his support through it. Connie and Sasha were thrilled at the news, but Sasha soon begins to make me eat more, because it's healthy for my child.
"Hanji, just take a chill pill and sit down!" I sigh deeply, with a nervous smile. "It's just gonna be a small wedding, nothing too big and grand......"
"But it's the biggest day of your life!!!!" Hanji exclaims, ruffling her hair standing behind me where I sat on the couch. "Your wedding is next Monday....so we must make this wedding the biggest an--"
"Commander, aren't you going a little off the rails?" Connie tilts his head, while biting into a chocolate chip biscuit. He chews for a moment, "If the Corporal-- I mean Akira, wants just a small simple wedding, just let her do that...besides, Section Commander?"
Lifting my head, "Hmm? What is it?" taking a quick sip of my tea, before lowering to my lap carefully.
"Where and Who will be attending your wedding?" He questions, curiosity in his hazel eyes. "
"Hmmm.....well we need to discuss where will it be held," tapping my bottom lip, my eyes were tired and my body fatigued. However, the wedding plans distracted me, making me feel more excited as the days go by. "Figure who will be the official, and if only the Commanders from each regiment attends.....maybe, only ones that are able to come...."
"So, who will walk you down the aisle!!!!" Sasha exclaims, with her mouth muffled with food.
My body and mind paused for a moment, as my throat grows dry..........
Falling quiet I heard Connie whack the back of Sasha's head, "Shut up dumbass, don't you think that was a little forward?" hissing at her, while she pouts with food still in her mouth.
Rubbing her head, "What?"
A warm hand rests upon my shoulder, "Akira, do you wish to be taken down with someone......or do you wish to walk alone?" Hanji conscientiously urges, her thumb tracing along the seam of my shirt.
Taking a quick sip of my tea I place it down on the table in front, my eyes glancing at the papers of forms about the wedding. "I'll think about it, give me some time......if that's okay?"
"Of course.....don't worry about the ceremony, I'll plan it all with the help of these guys, Commander Pyxis and Queen Historia,"
My eyebrows furrowed, "Commander Pyxis? Queen Historia? Why Pyxis of all people, Historia I get, but him?" I pick up a few papers, flicking through while briefly going over them again.
"He volunteered, and is deeply indebted to you," She replies, shifting their glasses while walking towards her desk. She sits down, while Jean passes me a sample of old wedding contracts to look over. Whispering a small 'thank you' , I glance up. "Besides....I want this wedding to be perfect, you and Captain Levi really deserve the best.....ya know!"
Softly smiling with their bright enthusiasm lifted my heart, distracting me from anything negative that dared to seep into my mind. The idea of a small simple wedding seemed easier, and less selfish, and it would help to ease my anxiety for the day. Hanji didn't need to worry about my own nerves, but only the hard work that will be soon underway.
"By the way, where's Captain Levi?" Jean questions, out of curiosity. The query was directed towards me, but to be honest I did lose sight of him right after breakfast. I glance towards Hanji, but I notice a flicker of knowing behind those glasses. Arching an eyebrow, I shook my head with a breathy chuckle and didn't question her.
"Must be busy with other things, anyway......." pulling out a small folded note in my breasts pocket, I unfold it and straightened the creases. "......I might need some help with the vows.....I'm worried I might say something wrong--"
Mikasa glanced over my shoulder, "Say it from the heart, how you truly feel....." she advises quietly, with a hint of experience of expressing herself. Clearly I knew her loyalty to Eren, as a brother, family and maybe....something more. Her usual nonchalant expression softens, reading over some of my drafts. "hmm.....well, I don't understand the captain much.....but you could express the little things, nothing to big, but enough to show that you will be bound forever."
Armin agrees with a nod, "That's unusual coming from you Mikasa, but I would advise the same thing......" he spoke outwardly, his eyes brightening in response. ".....besides I've never been to a wedding ceremony before, so this all new to me too!"
A few of the cadets agree, while I couldn't help chuckle.
"Well you better thank Levi for that," before I putting my left leg over my right knee, resting a book on top with the draft of vows. Tapping my pencil, I tapped my chin thoughtfully while everyone began chatting away to themselves. It was as if Winter has definitely made the atmosphere cosier inside the rooms, with livelier company, and the fire crackling behind in the hearth.
However the question that dwelled on mind, was......who would walk me down the aisle?
I never knew my family's traditional ways of marriage, nor understand what they wore or how they bind marriages together. Did they wear rings, such as this nation? Or did they have another way of presenting their relationship status? The full consultation on marriage was a huge and different topic to discuss, let alone a heavy and final decision for your life.
"Section Commander?"
Breaking back to reality I saw Jean in front of me, "Just call me Akira, alright? No formalities when we're in comfortable settings, okay?"
He nods but touches my hand, "I know......but your hand is shaking," making me glance down, to see that my hand is definitely shaking. He gives me a look, as if asking permission, I simply nod when his larger hand takes mine. Giving my hand a warm squeeze, my hand slowly begins to stop shaking.
With a grateful smile, I meet his eyes warmly.
Lowering my voice, "Thank you.......I didn't realise," chuckling, with a sheepish smile feeling rather pathetic. I hate being vulnerable in front of the children, my problems are my own.
"It seems this is a little overwhelming for you, is it?" He assumes, as he hit the nail on the head. His voice was low, and mellow warm with worry. "We can take all the load and you just relax, even Hanji agrees with me......everyone will. With your child on the way--"
I burst into laughter, wiping a stray tear away with a smile, "Seriously, I'm not even two months along....let alone big enough to laze around...." squeezing his hand warmly. I flick his forehead, "Let me help at least, I'm capable in doing something like this.....okay?"
He was stunned by the flick, yet he scratches the back of his neck sheepishly, "Sorry about that, just want to make sure you're safe....for you both I mean," he abjectly spoke, concern lacing in his voice.
"It's fine, at least let me try and do anything that requires less work,"
The day soon goes by so quickly that my eyes were tired, and my body aching from walking around. Having the papers ready, I'm still writing a few drafts on my vows to Levi, wanting to make it perfect. Also with figuring who will attend was beyond my control, because Hanji has taken over the entire job. She insisted, and tried to convince to allow the work to fall in the hands of my soldiers, Commander Pyxis and Queen Historia.
*
A WEEK LATER
Blankets tangled with my body, as my hair messily covers my face. My body grew more lighter the more the morning rose, the coolness kissing my skin. The dim light streams through the curtains, while feeling warmth radiating against my legs and body. My eyes flutter open groggily, finding it difficult to open them.
What is the time? I couldn't tell due to the winter morning, as the light was darker and gloomier.
"Mmmm......." rolling over, my hair covers my eyes again. Snuggling into the duvet, I felt an arm wrap around my waist and tugged me further into the blankets, out of nowhere. Surprised, I soon felt his warmth breath tickle my cheeks, peering through my eyelashes to see Levi's peaceful face sleeping near my temple. His tousled raven hair covers his eyes, lips parted slightly, and his thick eyelashes gracing his subtle tired blemishes under his eyes.
A soft smile curls upon my lips, when his grip tightens a little.
Usually most mornings he would steal my blanket away, or would almost kick me out of bed. When I get these kind of mornings, I try to appreciate every bit of it. We don't usually have perfect mornings, but today for some reason it felt perfect. Even though we both had insomnia, sleep was something we've needed for years. Only grasping at least a few hours, and since my pregnancy, I've slept longer due to fatigue and exhaustion.
My fingers traces along his dry lips, seeing a few tiny details along his skin. Faint scars, that only you can see if you look close enough.
"Mmmm...." A deep rumbling moan leaves him, when he inhales sharply stirring a little before feeling his teeth bite around my fingertip gently. Glancing up I saw his silver blue eyes peering through the raven strands of hair, half-lidded with sleepy eyes, which looks so innocent but sexy at the same time.
My cheeks burn profusely, till my tips of my ears were red.
He clicks his teeth dryly, "What are you doing~?" his voice deep, with a thick huskiness that left my body growing warm in response. His hand takes my hand firmly, but not tight, before taking my fingertip away and presses a small kiss to my knuckle. "I was finally getting good sleep......" he sighs irritably, but doesn't let my hand go.
"Don't be a tease now...." I pout, referring to his grip on my hand.
He scoffs, "You're the teasing one here," his eyes still locked with mine, but then was a aura of warmth within him. "Don't be a brat right now, you know what you're doing....." his hand releases mine and then drifts to my chin, tracing his thumb over my lips. It left a tingling sensation. ".......don't act innocent, darling......"
He leans over before pressed his lips over mine, but my eyes widen pulling away a little more.
"I don't want to poison you with my bad breath.....you don't want tha--Hmmph" He cuts me off, when he presses my lips without hesitation. His lips linger on my own for a moment, before he pulls away as his eyes peer with a warm look in his eyes.
"Don't give a shit, we both have bad breath....so what," He clicks his teeth, before burying me under the blankets with him. Squeaking in response, he pulls me into his chest while the blankets tangle around us both, the bed creaks for a moment. "Not letting go now........nope...."
I pout, "Come on, you can't just do that!"
"Yes I can.."
"No..."
"Yes..."
"You're a dumbass,"
"You're the bigger dumbass," He kisses me again, with an amused smile against my lips. He pulls me over before my body was on top of him, my face squished in the crook of his neck for a moment. "But you're my gorgeous, sexy dumbass....." his lips brush against the shell of my ear, before he kisses my cheek tenderly.
My hands rests over his toned chest, feeling it flex a little beneath my palms, our noses brushing against each other.
The doors suddenly bursts open, "Hey Akira time to get up--" Hanji cuts herself off, before closing the door slams shut instantly. This causes me and Levi to cover ourselves, while my face was burning red, burying my face into his neck.
"Oi what the hell, four eyes!!!!" Levi barks in annoyance, his voice dangerous and half embarrassed. "For fuc-- What do you need?!"
The sound of boots shuffling behind the doors left me questioning, but I knew Hanji would be teasing the hell out of Levi later. Hanji opens the doors again, but slowly hearing the creak draw open slowly and agonisingly. "Akira, it's time for you to get ready....the ceremony is in a few hours...." Hanji informs me, trying to cover up the fact she almost saw something that will ruin Levi's reputation to only himself. "....best to get dolled up....huh?"
Feeling this sudden wave of nervousness, my grip on Levi's tightens for a moment.
"Also Lena is not having with your laziness, so best get up or she'll beat your ass.......that's all!" Hanji sang, before closing the doors again. The moment she leaves, I relax in Levi's warm and comforting embrace.
"Guess I'll get my ass up," lifting myself up, as the sheets pool around my hips with my thighs on each side of his hips. However Levi's hands grip my hips firmly, making my breath hitch with a small giggle after. His thumbs kneading into my plush hips, enjoying my plushy body, his eyes meeting mine with a warm, tender expression.
"I'll see you in a few hours......" he leaning up, he pressed a soft kiss to my cheek. "Best to not keep Lena waiting......right, love?"
I roll my eyes playfully, "Trust me, she gets scary sometimes," joking lightly, he releases my hips allowing me to get changed and take my leave.
*
"Do I look okay?"
Nervously I wasn't looking in the mirror just yet, whilst Lena was pinning and styling my hair. Her fingers glide through my raven and red tinged locks, curling and styling to a curly and messy up do bun. My bangs neatly framing my face, strands wavy and soft to the touch.
She slips a few pins in, while waiting patiently wondering how it will look with the dress I'm wearing.
"You look beautiful, it's nice to dress up ya know," Lena muses softly, voice warm with assurance. "Use to do my little sister's hair all the time, so this isn't much trouble."
Soon the doors open recognise the footsteps pattern, seeing Hanji come in view as I faced the window. Her head pops up with a smile, "Don't you look beautiful!" She exclaims. "Wow.......I never realised a bit of natural makeup and a hairstyle can change such a complexion, even I wouldn't mind marrying you," Hanji laughs jokingly. "No I'm serious, Levi will cry.......well hopefully."
Chuckling while trying to not move too much, "I doubt he would, he has a reputation to uphold ya know,"
Hanji soon passes me a small pile of drafts, of my vows.
"Have you decided which one you will announce?" questioning my opinion, while my jaw clenched firmly with frustration. Slowly I smile with a sheepish smile, shaking my head.
"Nothing yet, I'm still so nervous......"
Lena rubs my arms gently after pinning my hair with a hairpin, "It'll be alright, you are humanities strongest woman there, you'll be fine," before appearing beside me, giving me her compassionate gaze. "Besides........it's all about you and Levi today, nothing else....."
Glancing to the side I noticed Historia walking in with a dress resting over her arm, her bright and enthusiastic smile welcomes me. She placed the dress over the arm of the chair, "Hello everyone, sorry for my late arrival," she apologises, with an apologetic smile. "Tried to get your size customised, so you wouldn't have to wear a corset to suffocate in....I apologise......"
Standing up I shook my head, "It's fine, don't worry...." assuring her, she passes me a box of something. "....here is some flat shoes, seen you mentioned hating heels....so I managed to find some for you."
"Your majesty.....you should--"
"Just call me Historia please?" She laughs softly, meeting my nervousness gaze. "Just take a deep breath okay? You've done so much for all of us, so let us do something for you and the captain......I insist as your former cadet, former soldier and Queen."
Suddenly Hanji placed the dress in my arms, "Let's give this dress a try shall we?"
Slipping out of comfy clothes, only Lena and Historia was in the room for this. Helping me out with shimming myself in the soft silk material, it hugs my thick curves nicely like a glove. Slipping the see-through lace sleeves, it was tight along the upper arms but flows down where my elbows were. The collar was off the shoulder, covering my cleavage and sitting nicely.
The rest of the dress flows down from my waist, only just hovering above my ankles.
Lena does the finishing touches, her hands dancing across the soft material making sure there were no rips or even a seam undone. Glancing over to the mirror, I soon glance at myself only to see myself in pure white. Mixed emotions flooded in, while Lena was fussing over anything that was out of place. Is this really me?......I'm not used to wearing dresses, and I soon felt self conscious of my body, especially with many scars littering my exposed skin.
"It fits so perfectly!" Historia exclaims, when a sound 'huh?'' pasts her lips. "Hey Section Commander? What are these on your arm and shoulder blade?"
Yukan......meaning Brave......勇敢
Ryuu or tatsu.......meaning Dragon.....
Those two are family tattoos, or markings.......the one on my left bicep is my families kanji character meaning Brave. The one on my shoulder is the dragon, that my clan represented and passed down to each child for generations. Each member gets a different animal, but mine was the Dragon.
"Wow, it's so pretty......." Historia exclaims in awe, looking at them closely. Soon I could feel her eyes tracing along my scars, that I've always kept hidden from everyone. The weight of both Lena and her gaze left me feeling more nervous, that I sighed deeply.
"I know......for a wedding your skin should be pure, but.......I never knew I would get married," I admit softly, my voice almost breaking. My fingers lift the flowing ends of my lace sleeves together, "I'll try and wear them proudly for Levi.......so please, don't worry about me....okay?"
They two glance to each other, when the door opens with a short knock, but comes in anyway which was Hanji.
"Perfect! It fits perfectly!" Hanji walks up to me, lifting my hands up glancing around the dress. "Everyone seam and....and the white, it goes beautiful with your olive skin tone....so pure....you look absolutely beautiful!"
Deep down I knew they were trying to ease me, filling the room with compliments to allow me to soak it in. The ceremony is only in ten minutes, and my heart was beating heavily. Still not being able to come up with my own vows, and no one to walk me down the aisle....I could feel myself getting a little overwhelmed with the emotions rushing at once.
"Akira?" Lena placed a hand on my shoulder, her touch tender. "We will you give you some time to yourself, we will wait outside....okay?"
Nodding, I thank the three before they all leave the room leaving everything to fall completely still and quiet.
A heavy and shaky sigh leaves my lips, while I pace around to try and ease my mind. My chest felt tight, tears threatening to spill, and anxiety about to sink in. Muttering to myself, my fingers fiddled with the end of the lace flowing sleeves. I've never done this before, I've never pictured myself getting married. Now here I am, without my mother.....or even father. Erwin is gone, and big brother Miche left me too soon.. Nanaba isn't here to witness this day, my best friend since the cadet days...
Walking up to the reflection of the mirror, I took the sheets of vows and began to read over them.
Yet my hand couldn't help but shake vigorously, as my breath begins to quicken. The words were a blur, my mind growing foggy as if my own head couldn't process my feelings. Slowly I close my eyes taking long deep breaths.....
"One........" taking a deep breath in, I steadily held it in. I then exhale "........two....." inhaling again, I held it in and then exhaled. Repeating this a few times, my mind soon became clear as day, but a twinge of anxiety.
Glancing at the pages beyond pages of drafts of vows, I came to a decision and tore them apart in quarters and then eighths before placing them in the bin nearby. Turning on my heel I walk towards to the doors with a different stride, as I took another deep breath pushing the doors open with confidence.
Meeting lena's gaze she passed me the bouquet of pure white and musk pink flowers, she gives me a warm smile before they head to take their seats in the room not far.
Making my way to the large two wooden doors, I stood there while trying to stand with confidence. My heart pounded against my weak chest, my hands sweaty and my stomach doing flips and holding Levi's child. I knew my life will rest with him, I'm just wondering if I will make a good wife. What if I don't reach his expectations?
What if......?
Shaking my head my eyes remain forward, holding the bouquet of flowers resting at my middle with my back straight and head raised slightly high.
"I can do this........."
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A/N:
I apologise greatly for such a long pause on the story, I haven't been very well again. Things have gone out of hand, and so I made this chapter extra long for your enjoyment and for a bonus for waiting patiently. Sorry I left it on a good cliffhanger, but I tried to not rush the proposal and marriage, but anyway thanks for reading!
~ Little Bean