A/n: I intended to write earlier but intern has been draining me so much. also thank you to everyone who likes and comments on all the chapters, it really motivates me alot <3
IAN
If I'm being honest with you, perhaps I am still a selfish man because despite having a plan in place I've been prolonging executing it for a little since it means my time with Zahra will get cut short soon. It's careless, stupid even but, if these are my last days with Zahra then I will cherish it with my whole heart.
On my home one day, I picked up a bouquet of flowers. I may be putting too much thought into it, walking around, thinking what to get her.
I'm never good with words so I pray somehow the flowers will say enough for me. The stress in my face must've been apparent because the elderly lady florist smiled gently at me, I felt like my worry had rubbed off on her based on her expression.
"Honey, what are you looking for?" she asks, her voice so gentle, a tone I was never used to. A tenderness I never felt. Something about her made me feel as though I could trust her with my deepest secrets, so I confessed them.
"I'm buying something, for someone I love. I love her so deeply and I don't know when it happened but now that it has, I don't want to let her go. I want to tell her," I let out, "But I don't know how to do it with words."
She laughs at me, I don't think it was to ridicule, "Sweetheart, how can people understand the words if we don't speak them?" she sighs but she still looks through her selections, browsing thoroughly. "If you love her, let her know. Even if it kills you, you give her the chance to make the decision to love you back."
I sigh, "I've never loved before. I don't know.. if I can do it, if I can be okay without her."
The old lady reaches out for my hand, "Are you a better man for loving her?" she questions.
I never nodded so fast, "I don't think a better version of me could ever exist after her."
She smiles, "Then it is the kind of love that could never have a bad ending."
I think about it for a second, and I nod. Because somehow I get what she's trying to say. Zahra has brightened my life ever since she entered it. If she does not love me back, it is okay. Love is not a debt she owes me. I will love her regardless of her answer, and knowing that, I feel like a better man.
I pick up a bouquet of lisianthus. "These are beautiful," I let out.
The lady nods. "They are. They have a meaning too."
"They do?"
"Of course, every flower does."
I chuckle, "What does it mean?"
"Everlasting love. Unchanging love."
It feels perfect. I tell her I will take it. "Ma'am, what's your name?"
"Jieun, Moon Jieun."
"Ms Moon?" she nods, as a sign of approval of the way I addressed her, "I'm Ian."
"All the best," she utters simply, and something in my heart tells me I would see her again.
I'm nervous. I don't think I have been this nervous in my life which is kind of crazy considering what kind of job I used to have.. but seriously, I feel like there are actual butterflies in my stomach and I cringe a little at the silly expression I chose to use.
Regardless, I slowly opened the door to our house. I see Zahra's back facing me as she's slowly cooking. It's her off day and she usually always insists on cooking even when I (objectively) make better dishes. She insists she wants to rival my cooking which is a little adorable considering I'm a chef. Don't tell her but, I already think her food is better than mine. A restaurateur can't admit it.
I'm flustered as I silently approach her. How do I even hand flowers to someone? This feels too painfully awkward I'm close to turning around and throwing the flowers away but just in time, Zahra coincidentally turns around to face me. "Ian? You're home? What are you-" her voice cuts off when she sees the bouquet I'm holding.
My lips slowly crack into a soft smile, "I got this for you," I say, and even I can hear how nervous and awkward I sound but the smile on Zahra's face is worth all the awkwardness or embarrassment I ever have to feel.
"Ian..." she mumbles, before almost jumping into my arms, wraping an arm around my neck and I wrap my arms around her waist, gently lifting her slightly up. "What are they for?" she says into my chest, not pulling away from our embrace.
"I wanted to ask you on a date," I finally muster to let out.
This made her pull away. "What?" surprised, and before I could mistake it for rejection she continues, "Really? Yes, yes. I wanna. Where are we going?" she questions, her face lighting up.
"Anywhere you want, Zar."
———-
I told you I'm a pretty selfish man. I become even more selfish when it comes to Zahra because I wanted the date to happen the very next day.
You know where Zahra wanted to go? It's so Zahra. She wanted to go the beach. Who am I to refuse?
I brought her to a beach where I know won't be so swarmed by people, and one with good food places around. I packed picnic items but I figured I wanted our dinner to be extra special.
When we arrived, I gently laid down all our picnic items and we settled quickly. I was enjoying the breeze of the ocean, and hearing its sound calming my heart.
In this moment I think of one of the first few things Zahra said that had stuck to me, that for everyone on this earth, a thousand years before the skies ever met the sea, my name was written next to someone else. I take in Zahra's feature and my heart cracks a little. Is it hers next to mine?
"Thank you for bringing me here. I know it may be a boring date but, I really love the ocean," she lets out.
"I don't think a place with you could be boring," I say, simply. "You're too annoying for that."
"Hey!" she shouts, taking a pinche of sand next to her and lightly throwing it on my pants.
We laugh.
"Do you think the person whose name is written next to mine is wishing desperately to erase it?" I said mindlessly. I frown when I see Zahra's frown.
"Why would you say that?" she remarks, almost angry. "You don't even see it." she chuckles, like I just said the most ridiculous thing in the world.
I quirk an eyebrow, confused. "You don't even realise how.. loveable you are. How anyone who knows you is lucky to do so."
I scoff, "A lot of people would disagree with that, Zahra."
"I meant the you now. The you I know. There are good people who do bad things and there are bad people who do bad things. You could never be the first one, Ian."
"You don't even know what I've done," I comment, calmly because it's true.
"I know that you're a much better person than you give yourself credit for. I hope someone will love you so, so much. So, so sincerely that you will have no choice than to accept that love, and to realise how worthy you are of it," Zahra says before handing me a plate of food she had set.
I look down, and I blink. Hard. I try to hold back tears because I want to say, I wish it was her who would love me but I can't seem to say it. "I hope you find someone who loves you enough they would move the earth to see you smile."
That helped lighten the heavy atmosphere, because I can hear her giggle. "Ah, love is a scary thing."
I don't ask her to elaborate. We spend the entire day talking, laughing. Zahra is funnier when she gets tired. It's a weird way to describe someone but it is the only way that makes sense to me. "Let's have dinner, then we cna go home," I say, after Zahra yawns.
She sighs but gets up, dusting sand from her skirt. "I wish I could stay here forever."
I do too.
We walk towards the restaurant I had booked. One more surprise.
A/N: Hi! The date scene is not over :) Next part will be their dinner date. Thank you for reading!! Likes and comments are always appreciated. ❤️
Sorry for any typos too. I wrote this at 4am, will proofread when I wake up😵💫