" alternative universe. "
26
- ˗ˋ ୨୧ ˊ˗ -
[ third person ! ]
A girl stood still on the side of the road. It was you, you kept coughing out flower petals.. which were mixed within your own blood. It was a terrifying scene to witness over, and over, but it was necessary.
Around a few months ago, you were just going home from class, meeting Xiao. Once you arrived, you only saw Xiao and Lumine, kissing. The scene overwhelmed you with all kinds of emotions.. anger, sadness, worry, sorrow, everything. Did Xiao like Lumine? Were you only just a friend to him?
You just stared at the scene, horrified. You were caught up into your own bubble, but then.. you felt this sudden urge to cough. You quickly ran away from the scene, before you let it out. As you kept coughing, flower petals came out of your mouth.
Why were flower petals coming out of your mouth so suddenly? Unless.. did you have hanahaki? You quickly ran, and ran back home. Once you arrived inside your room, you quickly turned on your computer, logged in, and going onto Google.
" Why am I coughing out flower petals? " As you typed that in, and began searching, many results popped up.
Hanahaki.
A disease which forms inside a person when they experience one sided love, or if the loved one dies. The victim will cough out, or throw up flower petals. The only ways to get rid of it is if the other person likes them back, or if they get surgery. If you get surgery, all your romantic feelings toward the significance other will be gone, for good.
Your eyes widened at the result. Hanahaki? You were a little confused, then horrified.
Hanahaki. A disease which slowly kills you overtime. If not treated in time, you will die. Flowers will grow inside your lungs, and once your body reaches its limit, you will suffocate.
You began trembling in fear. You were gonna die soon.. and yet, you couldn't do anything about it. You can't change Xiao's, or Lumine's feelings towards eachother, you were never, ever capable of that.
You simply just curled yourself in your blanket. All you could do now is cry to yourself, and wait. You didn't want to even get a surgery, and you didn't even have the money. You wanted to keep this while thing a secret, a secret from everyone.
You wanted to bottle it all up, now, you just couldn't trust anybody. Not even Lumine, or Xiao, and even your parents. Why would anybody even believe in hanahaki? They would probably think your simply lying.
You simply just rolled into bed, before falling asleep. You wanted to hold those coughs of yours in, you didn't want your parents to accidentally walk in on you coughing our flower petals, that would be terrible.
Ah... yes. You remembered all the terror, and sorrow you felt at the time. It had been months, and it seemed as if you'll soon succumb to your disease. Every single day, your hanahaki only gotten worse.
You continued slowly walking on the side of the road, while you tried your best to wipe off any blood on your mouth. There was so much blood. It seemed as if you really were gonna die soon.
You felt weak, and tired of hanahaki, it felt painful to walk. You had to, since you had to go to school. It was a important day, exams. Yes, you were never able to study for them at all since your hanahaki had ruined everything, but you didnt want your parents suspecting anything.
You had to just bare it, and continue onward. You were only a few minutes away from the school, surely you can walk a few minutes.. right? Still, it felt as if the bottom of your feet were burning, it was still so hard to walk.
You didn't care, you didn't care how long you had left, you didn't care how painfully hard it was to do easy everyday tasks, you had to live on until you succumbed. As you continued to walk, step by step, you saw the pair in the distance. It was Xiao and Lumine.
You felt like going under a rock and never getting out again. You couldn't show the two how weak you felt, you had to pretend. The pair just talked, and held hands, as if they were a couple.
No, they never ever announced if they were a couple or not. They never made it official, yet.. it always seemed like they did. Xiao acted different around Lumine, like a boyfriend.
Still, despite you hating it so much, you still had to bare it, along with your feelings for Xiao, and your hanahaki. You had quickly put on a mask, as you tried your hardest to avoid the two.
As you were about to enter the school, she had spotted you. " Y/N! Over here! " Lumine yelled. You wanted to just push her away, and curse at her, but of course.. you were too weak to even do that.
You simply just ignored her, and continued onward.
As you silently made your way to class, there they were again. They were just talking to eachother, however, you tried to simply ignore it. It felt like it was getting harder, and harder to ignore the two, but you had no choice.
You didn't want them knowing you had hanahaki, they would bombard you with questions, and they would feel terrible. You had to try my hardest to keep this a secret from everyone.
Still, it was quite difficult hiding your hanahaki, you always had to pretend you had some side effects from some disease, or from a cold. You also always had to wear a mask, just in case you couldn't cover your mouth in time.
As you sat down, you hung your bag on your chair. Afterwards, you simply stayed silent, as you coughed, and coughed. You felt like flower petals were already filling your mask to the brim, so before class began, you ran to the washroom.
There, you ran into a stall, and removed your mask. Immediately, many flower petals plopped into the toilet bowl, as they kept coming, and coming. Soon, it was as if you felt like.. throwing up.
You.. threw up, many flower petals also coming out with it. To be honest, it was quite disgusting. As your mouth continued to.. hover over the toilet bowl, blood came out. It wasn't just a little, like before, but a lot more. The amount of blood that came out of your mouth could fill a small glass.
Again, you just froze in horror. Your hanahaki was getting worse, and quickly too.
You took in a deep breath, as you wiped your mouth with your sleeve, and flushed the toilet. Afterwards, you put your mask on, before coming out of the stall. Girls turned to you, as their eyes widened.
You didn't know what gotten into them, you were confused. You just walked over to the sink, and washed your hands. As you looked up to look at your reflection. All you saw was blood.
How did even more blood get on your face? Did.. you accidentally throw up some blood onto your face? How was that even possible? You just cupped your hands together, and splashed water on your face.
After, you just quickly made your way back to the classroom, before class began.
As the lesson progressed, you tried your hardest not to look at either Lumine, nor Xiao. Despite your hardest efforts not to, you just kept imagining the two, over and over. Your mind repeated the kiss they shared, over and over.
It was like your heart broke into pieces, over, and over. You just couldn't bear it anymore, and just that your head down to relax from all those thoughts.
At this point, you didn't care about classes, or school right now. You needed a break from seeing lumine and xiao in your head. You didn't care if your teacher got mad at you, you just didn't want anybody knowing you had hanahaki.
You were desperate to keep your huge secret from everyone. You didn't want to cough, as that would mean everyone looking at you, including Lumine and Xiao.
Suddenly, your phone received a notification. It was from Xiao yet again. Despite you not wanting to check it, your curiosity got the better of you.
✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*
xiao
— ˗ˋ ୨୧ ˊ˗ —
8:23am
xiao
y/n
you don't seem too well
are u okay?
oh yeah I am
just some side effects from some sickness I got
xiao
oh
good
✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*
As you put your phone away as fast as you could, you felt a few more coughs coming. You just tried your hardest not to cough. Not right now. All while you were doing that, the teacher's gaze fell on you.
"Y/N, are you alright?" Mrs. Ningguang asked. You looked up at her, just giving her a thumbs up. She was a bit skeptical, but she turned back to the blackboard seconds later, and continued with her lesson.
Once the bellrang for lunch, you just took our a granola bar, and a waterbottle, before you began to eat. This time, you really had to eat.. because the period after this, it was exams.
As you ate, nobody seemed to want to talk to you. They felt like you were so indifferent, out of place. You didn't really care though, you were gonna die soon.. so it would only come out as worthless; a waste of time.
Your lunch went normally. Whenever you'd cough, you did.. since your whole entire class was being quite loud. As you finally finished your food, you simply threw out the wrapper, and drank some water.. then just sit down, silently after.
A few minutes later, the bell rang. Now, it was finally exams.. your teacher, Mrs. Ningguang walked into the room, while everyone went flying to their seats. She began to hand our the papers to the exam, before returning to her desk.
" Everyone, you have the rest of our time together to finish this exam. Begin.. now. " Ningguang began to type something into her computer, while everyone instantly began to work.
It was hard for you to work, since, well.. you didn't exactly study for some of this.. and you didn't quite remember some others.
The room was completely quiet, so you had to make sure you wouldn't cough. As you slowly began to skim through your papers.. you finally realized how much this was. Still, you could try to get it done.
You first started off with questions you knew, and did the essays afterwards. After that, you were just trying to figure out the questions you were quite unfamiliar with.
Finally, the bell rang, and then again.. the two periods went by in a blur. You were only done half of the essay.. but that's good, right?
As the everyone stored their essay papers in their desk, you did aswell. Once the teacher left the classroom, everyone became loud, and annoying again.
You, on the other hand.. you weren't feeling so well. You got up, and quickly ran to the bathroom, while nobody payed attention to you.. except Xiao. He just seemed worried about you now, but still.. he doesn't like you.
You just knew he didn't like you.. not after the kiss he gave to Lumine.
Finally, as you reached the bathroom, you ran into a stall. You quickly removed your mask after, as flower petals came dropping into the toilet bowl. There.. you threw up, again. As always, flower petals came ohtalong with your puke.. and a bit of blood too.. but this time, a whole entire flower came out.
Again, you were quite shocked, as that had never happened before.
You also began to cough, and a lot more at that. You felt dizzy, and you even had a headache. Still, you had to continue on in the day, and try your hardest to hide it as best as you could.
A few girls who were looking at their own reflection let out a few " Huh's? " And stuff. Still, since they weren't in your class.. you think.. you continued to cough.
Flower petals kept coming out, before it finally stopped a few seconds later. You looked down on the toilet, which was full of puke, blood, flowers.. and flower petals. You just flushed the toilet, before putting your mask back on.
Once you opened your stall door, you quickly washed your hands, and left. The girl's whom were looking in the mirror, and filming tiktoks were as quiet as a mouse; they even tried to stay away from you.
Once you returned to the class, Lumine called you over. Of course, you really didn't want to see her, but at this point.. you had to convince them you weren't trying to ignore them.
" Y/N! Why'd you ignore me earlier? " She asked, while she sat beside Xiao. You looked away to answer. " I was just.. in a rush. " Your voice was subtle, and soft. Lumine just nodded in response, as you quickly returned to your seat.
You simply spent the next few minutes trying not to cough, while drinking some water. It was enough to keep you going.. hopefully.
You looked out the window. There, you could imagine to the fullest. In your mind, you were thinking of a few senerios for.. some reason. " Oh, Y/N.. I didn't mean to kiss lumine.. I love you! "
" Oh.. I love you too! " Xiao happily hugged you, before placing his lips on yours. It lasted only for a few seconds, before he pulled away. It felt like your hanahaki immediately went away.. now, xiao loved you.
Or so you thought..
Imagining senerios such as that only made your love for Xiao more stronger; that wasn't good. You immediately let out a cough, while the flower petals stayed put in your mask.
Perhaps you really should just forget him.. and do the stupid surgery. Then again.. if you did, you could never feel the same for Xiao ever again.. that was only thing that was stopping you from getting surgery.
You didn't care if you died for him; you didn't care at all. You just wanted to live your life out to the fullest, and still have romantic feelings for Xiao in the meantime. Yet.. you still knew he could never love you back. Not at all.
The reason why you even got hanahaki in the first place was because you saw Xiao kissing Lumine.. how in the world could that not mean they love eachother? The way Lumine always clings onto Xiao.. the way he acts different around Lumine.. no wonder.
You then again felt more coughs coming, but you just decided to let them come out. The class was being loud, and obnoxious anyways.. who would ever hear, or pay attention to you?
As you coughed, you noticed them getting a bit worse each time. Like you had thought, your hanahaki only grew worse, and worse. It was already bad enough.. but it always decides to get badder.
Once class started, you all continued to work on your exam papers. You, on the other hand.. were struggling. You just had to pass on this exam.. you didn't want any summer classes.. you wanted to enjoy your summer.
It took some time for you to finally figure the questions out, and answer them.. but you were doing well on it. Though.. you did feel your arm cramp up a couple times, and you felt as weak as ever.
It was always so hard to move onto another question, and read until your eyes hurt. Deep inside, you just wished you had never fallen for Xiao in the first place, that was why all of these things were happening in the first place.
Then again.. it was your fault for actually believing he loved you.
Those kinds of thoughts always distracted you, and wanted to make you cough, and throw up.. but you had to simply ignore it, and act normal.
Finally, at the last class of the day, you had finally finished. You gave it to Mrs. Ningguang, before returning to your seat. You were exhausted, and your eyes felt heavy.
Immediately, you fell asleep, as you didn't feel any coughs coming.
After what felt like forever, you felt someone shake your body. It took some time for you to adjust to the bright lighting, but you did. You rubbed your eyes, and raised your head from your desk.
As you did, you saw the person you were hoping not to see.. Xiao. He had the name cold, neutral face on his face, as his gaze seemingly lingered on you. You felt this sudden urge to cough, but you tried not to.
" Y/N. Class ended a few minutes ago.. you can go home now. " Xiao said in a monotone tone of voice. I just packed everything up, and left. Xiao just watched you leave, as you felt your legs practically wobble.
It was really hard for you to walk.. but who cared?
As you made your way to the entrance, it was pouring. Still, you just went outside, soon completely soaked by the rain. You began to slowly made your way back home.. until you heard footsteps approach you.
" Hey.. atleast use a umbrella. " Xiao covered the both of you with his umbrella, as you just continued to walk in silence. One word out of your mouth, and you'd be coughing like crazy.
" ... Why're you ignoring me? Better yet.. why are you ignoring me all of the time, now? " He asked, his voice slightly becoming annoyed. You really couldn't say anything.. but you had to, so he could go away.
" ... I'm.. not.. " The managed to say, before you began to cough. Xiao immediately noticed this, and his face turned worried.
" Are you okay? You're coughing.. " His voice had the smallest bit of warmth to it, which was a little comforting. You just continued to cough, and cough.
As you kept coughing nonstop, you felt like it got a bit more harder to breath.. and your mask was filled to the brim with flower petals. You didn't notice that, until.. when you coughed, a flower petals managed to slip out of your mask, and into the air.
Xiao quickly caught the flower petal, staring at it with shock. The flower petals had blood on it; your blood.
" ... What-?! " Xiao stopped in his tracks, as you did too. You tried your hardest not to look at him, as he was gonna figure it out.
" Y/N.. do.. do you have hanahaki..? " Xiao's voice was no longer the emotionless, cold, monotone of voice, yet it was more.. scared, shaky, and terrified. You stayed quiet, before you began to cough more, and more.
" No.. why do you.. have hanahaki..? " Xiao's eyes widened, before turning toward you. He quickly took off your mask, while loads of flower petals fell to the ground. You just froze in terror.
" Y/N.. what.. what happened..? " He asked, worried. I just looked away. I wanted to tell him all of it at this point; if he didn't like you, then you could just die in peace.
" I.. I s-saw you.. kiss.. Lumine.. " your voice was once again subtle, and soft. Xiao was silent, completely silent, as he managed to keep his umbrella over the two of you.
" I.. only did that.. because I was trying to find someone to love.. since the one I loved probably didn't like me at all.. " He answered. You took some time to process it, before you looked back at him.
" Who.. do.. you like..? " You asked. You tried to ask it more specifically, but you couldn't.. you could barley breath at all. Xiao again took a few moments to think, before he answered.
" You. "
It was like your feelings for him came rushing back, you could even breath a bit better.. you no longer even felt like coughing.. which was amazing. Xiao dropped his umbrella, as it came tumbling to the ground. It didn't seem like he cared at all though, he only cared about what was going on in the moment.
" W-wait.. what..? " Your eyes filled with tears, as they streamed down your cheeks. It was hard to tell how much you were crying, because the rain poured on the two of you.
" I got hanahaki because of you.. because.. I thought you didn't like me at all.. I-I thought you liked Lumine.. " Xiao looked at you, and he seemed like he too was about to cry.
Xiao suddenly wrapped his arms around you, as tightly as he could.. he still left some space for you to breathe properly, though.
" F-forgive me.. I. apologize for giving you.. hanahaki.. " Xiao's voice was shaky, as he continued to hug you. You could feel the curves of his chest press onto yours, but all you could think was.. he liked you.
He actually liked you.
As he pulled away from the hug, you felt as if your hanahaki was slowly going away. At that very moment, it began to stop raining.. sure, the two of you were soaked.. but both you, and Xiao didn't mind.
" P-please.. let me get rid of your hanahaki.. fully. " Just like that, he connected your lips with his. It was as if.. time could've frozen at that very moment. The scent of the after rain only made it better.
His lips were gently pressed against yours, while his hands moved to your waist. Your hands slid to his cheeks, before he pulled away. Finally.. it felt like your hanahaki was really, truly gone.
" Y/N.. wake up. " Xiao said. You were a bit confused, as he continued to repeat that.
✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*
[ first person ! ]
" Wake up sleepy head.. " A girl voice called out to me. I slowly opened my eyes, only to see Hu Tao smirking. Xiao also noticed it, and looked toward me. Finally.. I realized I was sleeping on Xiao's shoulder.
" O-o-oh..! Uhm.. " I quickly took my head off of Xiao's shoulder, as Hu Tao looked at Xiao and I quite suspiciously. " Oh Y/N~ seems like you were enjoying Xiao's shoulder~? " Hu Tao gave me a teasing smile, as Xiao looked away.
" Oh yeah.. we were all going to go home now.. and Hu Tao noticed you still sleeping. " Chongyun added.
" O-oh! Uhm.. then I'll quickly pack this all up.. and quickly go home.. I-I heard it was gonna rain later. " I quickly packed up, before rushing outside.
Everyone followed behind me, while Lumine, Aether, and Paimon happily waved at all of us. Aether shut the door afterwards.
As everyone began to walk home separately, I felt a hand tug at mines. I looked over, only to see Xiao. " Let's go. " He mumbled. I just happily nodded, as the two of us walked home.
— ˗ˋ ୨୧ ˊ˗ —
A/N
ugh I'm so sorry for dissapearing for so long, I suddenly got writers block again lmao
But look at how long this chapter is.. I was suppose to release this a few days ago.. but like I said, I got writers block
now we're close to 4k already?? Yall are crazy, but I'm happy about it
I've been using C. AI so much.. that's why I ruined my sleep schedule
everyone, have a good day or night, and thank you all so much for 3k reads!!!! I was screaming when I found this out lol
word count - 3951 words!? ( new record!! )