Zhara.
I hear the door to the main bedroom click and I quickly I turn my head towards that direction and I stand up.
He stops at the beginning of the hallway as he scratches the back of his neck and he stops as his eyes meet mine.
He looks like he hasn't slept in days and his hair looks just as horrible.
"Adi-"
I start and he raises his hand for me to stop and I stop immediately.
"Im really sorry."
"I could have lost the both of them zhara."
He says as his voice starts to crack.
"But their both safe now Adi."
"They are, but at what cost Zhara ?"
He asks and I go quiet.
He's moving closer.
"If you had told me from the beginning you wouldn't have even had to risk your life like that in the first place."
"Adi, it was my responsibility to go after him because it was me he was after, not you and it's unfortunate that Nala and Crystal became collateral."
"I'm your big brother and I should have protected you, I should have done more."
"Adi your family almost died because of me."
"I almost lost you too... don't you get that ?"
"I just don't get why you couldn't just tell me about this part of your life ?"
I shake my head at him as I wipe a tear away from my cheek.
"I was still trying to figure everything out and you're life was just getting together you had Crystal and the restaurant, I felt like I didn't want to complicate your life with this."
"Your not a burden to me Zhara..."
"I know that now."
"And I am not angry at you, I've never been angry."
"It feels good to know that."
I say as I nod my head at him and he releases a sigh before he scratches his arms out to me and i run into them, wrapping my arms around him and he squeezes me too and I start to giggle a little.
"It's weird thinking about how I won't be your big brother anymore."
I raise my head up at him and I stare up at him again.
"You'll always be my big brother despite everything Adi."
"Even though your like decades and millenniums older than me ?"
He's smiling down at me.
"Even though I'm still technically your aunt ? Yes Adi. I want to still act like we used to back then, I don't want to take away the relationship that we have, fuck this other part of our lives, let's just focus on this one and us moving foward."
"I need to have a talk with Sherry."
He answers and I only stare up at him.
"Are you sure ?"
"I need to know the truth about myself and where I came from..."
He chuckles a few times.
"I thought you didn't want anything to do with her, especially after what Castiel did."
"I need answers Zhara, this whole thing is just too confusing and I need all of this chaos out of my life and the only way right now is if I get the answers that I want."
I nod my head at him in agreement.
"Then I'm coming with you. We will do this together."
"Yeah, I know that with you beside me I can get through everything."
I nod my head at him in agreement and he nods his head too.
Amara.
"I don't get it."
I say as I stare between them both in disbelief and Ntuthuko only nods his head at me in a slight nod beside me and I stare at her again.
Her eyes have this deep look of sadness inside of them that I cant explain which at the same time only begs to prove that what they both just told me is true.
"Ntuthuko ?"
"It's true my love..."
"How long have you know about this ?"
"It's only been a few days, I wanted to wait till after the Castiel chapter passed before we could say anything."
He says and I keep quiet and I don't say anything as I stare at my hands that lay at the top of my laps.
Zethu is my sister. How could I have missed this. And my visions about her, they all just stopped when I met Ntuthuko. Is that why I met him ? So he could bring me to her.
"Have you had any visions about me, anything?"
She shakes her head.
"Dreams mostly, but when I saw you at the hospital I knew it was you."
"Then you knew that I had been looking for you and you kept quiet about it ?"
"I kept quite about it because I didn't want to meet you in the first place. I didn't want to have a reminder of my mother's ordeal. I'm already a product of that and having to have ties to you only made me despise myself more."
"What are you talking about ?"
"Your father, molested my mother."
She says before she swallows a knot in her throat and I keep quiet.
I look at Ntuthuko and he only gives me a knowing look.
"My father would never."
"I don't care if you believe it or not but what I know is that my mother's pain was real and I had to suffer in return. My mother despised me because of what your father did to her !!!"
She yells as tears start to pool at the lids of her eyes.
"I never want to see you in this house again."
She says as she stands up and she points towards the door.
"Zethu wait please, you cant punish Amara for her father's sins."
"Oh so now you advocate for him ?"
She shoots back.
"I have never been on his side you know this and you just how much I despise people like him but think about Amara, think about yourself you both have nobody right now you could both be there for each other, be each other's family..."
"You asked me to be honest with her and i did that, I played my part now you can both continue with your lives without me. I don't need a walking reminder of how my life would have been had he never did what he did to my mother, maby i wouldn't have been alive to live in the first place."
"It's not fair to put the blame on Amara Zethu."
He replies and he stares back up at him and she shakes her head.
"Im not blaming Amara. I don't have any grudge against her, I just don't want her near me."
"Zethu-"
"Ntuthuko leave..."
She says as she looks at him and she wipes away another tear before she walks off leaving the door wide open leaving in an immense amount of pain and lots of tears that continue to spill out of me.
I can feel it all.
Ntuthuko's confliction and pain and my pain as well. This revelation about my father has just turned my whole world upside down. I never thought that in a million years I'd think of my father the way I think of him now, this image that I had of him of a loving father and amazing husband and how everybody used to look up at him. But after all this is Zeus there's nothing that I would put past him.
"Zethu is going to come around, you'll see. And you'll both be okay and you can move from this."
He's kneeling infront of me and he's staring up at me with my hands wrapped inside of his large ones and huge amounts of plead in his eyes.
I know that he's just trying to fix things as best as he can but there is no fixing here.
"I think we should just go home Ntuthuko. I want to go home."
I say and he nods his head at me before he stands up without hesitation and he gently pulls me up by my hands and he leads me back to his car.
We close the door to Zethus house and he leads to straight to his car before we start the drive back home.
As soon as we get into his house Ndu rushes to me and he wraps his arms around me and I wrap my own around him as I kneel at his height and I stare up at him as I start to brush up against his father's bushy eyebrows that he's managed to dominate.
He stayed back home with Skhu while we made the trip to Zethus house.
"You know that I've missed you right ?"
I ask him and he nods his head at me.
"And that i love you ?"
I ask again and he shakes his head at me.
"Well I am telling you now. That you I love you so so much Ndu."
I'm leaking again and I can't seem to stop it at this point.
He's not just the son of the man that I love he's my nephew too.
Love...
I love them.
I love the both of them.
I stare up at him and I stare at Ndu again and I smile at him.
I see why she despises me now.
My father caused her pain and here I am right now with the two men that she loves too. I'm Taking this away from her too.
"Hey hey hey come here."
He says as he also kneels on the floor and he wraps his arms around me again.
"Baba yini ngo Auntie?"
He tells his Dad as he slightly brushes my back too in a comforting way.
"She's just a little sad, but she's going to be okay, don't worry about her okay ?"
"But I don't like seeing her this way baba."
"I know... me too fana."
He tells him as he only soothes my back even more and I only hold him tighter.
Fuck my life.
----
"Do you think that she's going to be okay ?"
He whispers besides his father who's laying on the other next to me, trying to be "discreet" like he always poses.
He's worried and I can sense it from the both of them.
Ntuthuko sighs.
"I hope so Ndu. I hate seeing her like this."
"I hope Vanilla ice cream will cheer her up."
Ndu responds and I hear his father chuckle.
"How do you know that Vanilla ice cream cheers her up."
"It's my job to know."
He simply answers and his father chuckles again before they go quiet again.
"She's really pretty. I want to date a woman as beautiful as she is."
It's Ndu again and his father just stays quiet.
"I hope you never make her leave like mama did."
"That's never going to happen. Im never making that mistake again Ndu."
They both go quiet for a long while and I take that as my que to "wake up" now.
"You guys didn't have to be here."
I say as I stare at the both of them and they stare at each other.
"We were never going to let you sleep alone aunti."
He says and I smile at him a little.
"Thank you Ndu."
"Ndu can you give a moment so we can talk just for a little bit Fana."
Ntuthuko asks and he nods his head in agreement and without hesitation he leaves the room.
"Look I know that this is hard for you but Ndu and I are both here for you."
"Ntuthuko I feel like I've just taken away the people that are most important to her. Her mother, you and now Ndu. Maby that's why she despises me this much, thats why she hates me..."
"You didn't take me away from anybody I am my own man and nobody but you owns me as of now and Ndu... Ndu is ours nobody is taking that away from her and especially not you. And it's painful that she's had to live a life like that with her mother but non of it is your fault."
"But how is this fair on her Ntuthuko ?"
"Nobody said it would be fair my love."
He quickly answers and I release a sigh.
"This is all too overwhelming, it's just too much to process."
"I get that it's a lot to handle, but you have me to walk you along this whole thing with, I'm here."
I palm his face and I slightly brush at the bottom half of his face.
"I know..."
"But do you know what you don't know though."
He's smiling at me and I can feel my cheeks start to curve up into a smile.
I was just about to ball my eyes out again just a few seconds ago.
"I love you."
He says and my smile dies down and I am back to my Cy baby tendencies.
"Amara I love you and your Cy baby tendencies."
"I'm not a cry baby."
I deny and he only smiles at me as he nods in disagreement.
"You are a cry baby."
"I am a cry baby."
I admit.
"But you'll always be my cry baby."
He whispers as he wipes my tears and I close my eyes again and I only give him a slight nod.
"I love you, I always have."
I reply before he gives me another beautiful smile and our lips mold into each other as we seal this love of ours.
"I love you more. So much more Amara."