A staring contest was held between me and the blank notepad. I closed my eyes and groaned. Rubbing my face with my hands out of frustration. The notepad won. Sighing heavily and irritated that I haven't started anything. I could get a lot of work done if I have my laptop and Google but I will still get the same result because of the lack of information about his personal life.
I'm determined to help him and I need a solid plan in saving him. The only question is, how am I suppose to save someone from their doom? It's not like this is an anime show where the girl is reincarnated and became the villainess or the side character where she knows her character's doom and has an idea how to avoid it. She had a heads-up. In this case, James isn't the villainess or the side character, he is the main character of the story. And I, know exactly what's going to happen to him; he doesn't. I can't exactly go up to him and say 'Hey! Remember what I said I'm from the future? Well, it's not bullshit. It's true! Proof? You're going to die two months from now.'
Yeah... that's the worst thing you can come up with. my subconscious snarked while I ignored her. She's not giving me any ideas to help. Also, I feel like there's a timer on top of my head reminding me how much time I have left saving James adding more to my anxiety.
I also can't stop him from drinking because he's an adult and I'm just his boarder. Also, I'm in no place to tell him what to do. They can't even stop him from drinking so how am I any different? I can't also hide his alcohol without causing any conflict. There's a huge probability I would be kicked out and I can't afford that especially with my rescue mission.
I lay my back on the soft mattress and sighed again. My head hurts because of my thoughts running wild on how to save him and the dread feeling of not knowing what to do.
"Are you alright?" I sat up and James stood by the door. His face showing concern. "You've been sighing a few minutes straight. Did something happened?"
"No, nothing happened." I replied and embarrassed he saw me my predicament. "Just thinking about something."
"About what exactly?"
"Oh, nothing important. Don't worry about it. I'm fine." I lied and waved it off to masked my problem.
He didn't look convinced but he reluctantly nodded and let it go. James came beside my bed and handed me a small bag. "If you say so. I bought some doughnuts for you and George. Hope you like them."
I smiled and took the bag from him. "Thank you! Oh, by the way, someone sent you a letter."
My heart skipped a few beats when his lips stretched into a smile. He's handsome even if he's brooding but his features are defined more when he smiles. He looks so gorgeous that it hurts and his girlfriend is a very lucky woman. "Yes, it's from Pops. He always sends me a letter. Asking how I am and work. I know what's inside the letter even without reading it. Same thing every month."
Regardless of knowing the content, I could see the crinkle in his eyes when he smiled. You could see how much he love receiving the letters. My heart warmed when his neighbor became parent figures in his life. They don't have any relation with each other but they treated him like their own. Those kind people made him part of their lives and family.
Then, warmth turned cold as soon as I remembered his death. I gazed onto his features noticing the small details. The light coming from the window shone his face making his eyes glisten like gemstones. His beautiful aquamarine eyes. Without the light, his blue eyes changed color like the deep blue ocean. My favorite are his rare happy moments where his eyes has light itself; radiating warmth like the clear blue sky in a warm sunny day. If you look close enough, you could see the small freckles on his nose area. I recall reading a short story back in grade school. It was about a little girl who often get teased because of her freckles. She hated them until her mother told her the freckles on her skin are actually angel kisses. He has a lot of angel kisses. My fingers itching to brush his angel kisses. There was a faint scar on his forehead and I wonder how he got it. He has a small bump on his nose. His jawline would be every man's dream. Strong and defined. He's so beautiful and it pains me how his life would end.
"Grace?" I snapped out from my trance when James called me. His eyebrows furrowed. "Are you really alright? Why are you looking at me like that?"
"What do you mean?" I asked dumbly.
"You look at me like I'm going to disappear. Just so you know, I'm not going anywhere and I just got home so I'm not leaving anytime soon."
His lighthearted statement added the weight on my whole body. Seeing him amused and smiling at me makes me want to cry. I have to will myself not to wrap my arms around him and cry on his chest.
He kneeled in front of me and tucked a stray hair behind my ear. "I can see something's bothering you. You do know you can tell me anything. I know you haven't stayed here for long but I like to think we're friends." He softly grazed my cheek. "And as your friend, you can come to me. Alright?"
His kind comforting words warmed my heart. The knots that formed in the pit of my stomach tightened even more. I try to wipe out the image of him lying on the floor; dead with an empty bottle next to him. It was too much for me. The back of my eyes were beginning to burn and I have to get him out of here before tears starts flowing down my cheeks.
"I'm fine, really," with a steady voice I continued. "And thank you. It's nice to know our friendship isn't one sided. Almost thought I was wrong telling everybody were friends. It would be pretty embarrassing and I would be a laughing stock."
He chuckled at my humor. "There's that humor I grew to like. For a minute there, I thought little miss sunshine was gone but nope, she's still here. Alright, I'll leave you now. I'll be in my room and I was serious about it. Come to me if you need help or anything really."
I grinned and nodded at him. He softly tucked a hair behind my ear before standing up. The minute he closed the door, I lay down on the mattress and a traitorous tear ran down the side of my face. I wiped it away but I couldn't hold it any longer. I let the tears out.
My eyelids opened with difficulty. The tiredness and heaviness with all the crying before drifting off to sleep still weighing down. Squinting my eyes, I looked at the window. It was twilight. I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair to untangle any knots. My ears perked when I heard Martin's frantic voice. Him and George were talking about something. By the tone of their voices, it seemed something happened. I fixed myself up before leaving the room. The voices grew louder as I neared the living room.
Martin was pacing back and forth while George frowned with worry. Pair of eyes were on me as they sensed I was in the room with them. I scanned the room looking for the blonde actor but he wasn't there.
"Grace, good you're awake." Martin smiled crookedly. He was fidgeting and his hair slightly disheveled. "Did you rest well?"
"What's going on?" I ignored his question and scanned the whole room once more. "Where's James?"
They silently communicated with their eyes. Probably wondering how they'll answer my question. The longer they stayed quiet, the harder my lungs tightened knowing full well it's about James and his absence. "Martin, where's James?"
Martin sighed heavily and rubbed his face with both hands. "We don't know... I don't know."
"What do you mean you don't know?"
"George said he stayed in his room and few minutes later he stormed out, got on his bike and drove off."
"But why? He was fine when he came home. What happened?"
"Like I said, we don't know."
An idea crossed my mind and I hurriedly walked towards his room. Footsteps following me behind. I ignored Martin's persistent questioning about what I was doing. I reached his door and entered.
My heart sank when I saw a half empty bottle on his nightstand and a piece of paper on the carper floor. I went for the paper and it was a letter. A letter from Dorothy, James' guardian.
Dear Jimmy,
Excuse my writing. A little hard to write with this old hand of mine. I don't know how to begin. I don't know if we made the right decision not to tell you. Your Pops loves you so much and doesn't want to add another one but we didn't exactly prepare the moment you'll find out.
It's heartbreaking writing to you. I wish it was the same ol' letters we usually send you but it's not. I'm sorry I'm stalling. I just imagine your face right now.
I'm sorry Pops is gone. He's been sick for a long time and we kept it from you. Doctor said there wasn't any cure. So, your Pops kept telling you it was just a little bug. He didn't want you to worry about him.
I'm sorry my sweet boy. I'm so sorry.
Dorothy
My heart constricted as I finished reading the letter. Frank's dead. Another person important in his life left. Thoughts began swimming in my head. A headache forming with all the mixed information as they try to grasp my attention to every possible scenario of James' death. Frank's death could be the trigger how James spiraled down.
"What's that?" Martin came up behind me. Instead of answering, I handed him the letter. He scanned the letter and winced. "Damn. That's why." He gave the letter to George and remorse was shown on his face after he finished reading it.
"We have to find him." I stated and hurriedly went to my room while they followed. "He's most probably drunk and he's on his bike. He could get hurt—"
There were loud knocks coming from the door. I rushed towards it hoping it was James at the other side. Breath caught in my throat when it wasn't him but two males in uniform. A sudden memory rushed through my head at this familiar scenario. I ignored the memory unfurled in my head and focused on the pressing matter happening right now.
"Is this the Ryder residence?" One of them asked.
"Yes, it is. Any problems officer?" Martin stood next to me as I stood still in my place.
I couldn't grasp what they were saying. It felt like my head is underwater. My mind drowning in fear for James and trauma from my past. I remembered the breathing exercise that I learned to calm myself. Now, is not the time for me to get caught up from the past.
"Grace!" Martin's loud voice snapped me back to reality. My teary eyes meet with concerned ones. "Get your coat and George make sure to lock the doors before we leave."
"Leave?" I croaked. Not knowing what was happening.
Martin sighed heavily. "James got into an accident. He's in the hospital right now."