Paris
I was scrolling on my phone doing nothing, while I let Mayson sleep on my stomach.
She looked so peacefully. Her mouth was slightly open and I could hear soft snores coming from her.
My hand rested in her hair where I occasionally played with it. Her hair is thick with natural waves that stop right at her shoulder blades.
She always complains how much she hates her hair and how much she wants to cut it because it's a "nuisance" but I never let her. I love her hair way too much.
I was softly humming to a song when Mayson suddenly shot straight up with wide eyes.
I jumped a little at the sudden movement, "Jesus christ, did you die in your dream or something?" I asked, startled.
"No." She breathed but then furrowed her eyebrows, "But there was this one dream where I broke my leg and I was trying to run away from this serial killer and I-" She started until she looked up and saw me looking at her with a raised eyebrow.
"Uh, never mind it's not important." She mumbled with flushed cheeks.
I smiled at her cuteness, "Why'd you wake up like that?" I asked.
She immediately perked up again, "Oh, because I think I know what I want to do for the theme of my art final." She smiled.
When she didn't continue so I raised my eyebrows, indicating for her to go on, "Oh I can't tell you. At least not yet." She said.
"Why not?" I scrunched my nose.
"Because I wanna work out a few details first." She said then got up, "Matter fact I'm gonna do it right now."
My eyes widened when I heard the last part, "What? Why now?" I whined.
She smirked down at me, "Gonna miss me too much, eh?"
I put a stoic expression and picked up my phone again, "Never mind you can leave." I said.
Mayson let out a laugh and grabbed my phone, "I'll tell you once I get a few things sorted out. Promise." She smiled.
"Yeah whatever." I grumbled looking forward.
She let out another quiet laugh and out my phone on my lap. She came closer to me and a second later, I felt a light kiss on my cheek, "Bye Theia!" She called out as she grabbed her backpack and walked to the door.
Me being my stubborn self I didn't say anything and went back to my phone.
A second later I heard a voice, "You didn't say bye back."
I looked over my shoulder to see Mayson frowning by the door.
"Did you seriously come back just because I didn't say bye?" I laughed.
"Yes." Mayson said seriously with no hint of sarcasm.
It's the fact that I know she's not joking and she's absolutely serious that makes me shake my head in amusement, "Bye, Mayson." I smile.
She once again perks up, "Bye Theia." She smiles softly then walks out.
I shake my head with a smile as my heart flutters for the girl her just left.
••••••••••
Mayson
As I walked to the bus stop I mapped out the idea of my art final in my head. The idea that came to me in my sleep was when I was dreaming about the first crush I had on a girl, my ex-wife.
I dreamt about how much I admired her and thought she was beautiful. Then I thought about Paris and it made me think about how I also admire her and think she's beautiful.
It also made me realize how gay I am, but that's besides the point.
It just made me think about my appreciation for women and that was where my idea came from.
Because in my opinion one of the best things God did, it was putting women on earth.
The idea is still in its beginning stage but I know I want it to be something that showcases the beauty of women.
I was still thinking about my idea while I subconsciously got on and off the bus and walked home from the bus stop on autopilot.
I was about to walk up the stairs to my apartment because Lord knows, the elevator is never getting fixed, when a voice called my name, "Hey Mayson! Where's that sugar mommy of yours?"
I turned back around to Steve sitting on his balcony, per usual, "Don't you have better things to do?" I yell at up at him.
He shrugs his shoulder, "Like what?"
"I don't know, like a job?" I deadpan.
He scoffs and just waves a hand at me, "You got any new pieces?" He asked, changing the subject.
Steve is one of the first people I showed my art to. As much as I hate him sometimes, he's a pretty cool guy.
He also does his own art, more in the spray paint contemporary side. His pieces are all over downtown.
And not the pieces that look like a kid got his hands on a spray can and decided it'd be cool to spray paint.
But the actual art kind like murals, and quotes, and portraits. He even let me come with him one time to put a mural of Chadwick Boseman when he passed.
"Yeah I'm working on one right now for my art final." I nodded.
He was about to answer when I heard a lady yelling in spanish came from his house.
He winced a little before standing up, "I'll catch you later man." He said, "Show me the piece when you're done. You know I love your art."
"I gotchu." I nodded and watched as he opened the door, the spanish yelling becoming even more prominent.
"Cálmate mamá..." I heard him say as he walked in.
I shook my head in amusement and made my way to my apartment.
As soon as I got in I made my way to my room to change into clothes I can paint in. As I was getting dressed my phone started ringing.
I looked down to see it was a FaceTime from Ryan and picked it up, "Hey Ry." I said.
"Hey, I'm bored and I'm doing homework and you're gonna keep me entertained till I finish it." She said, her camera propped up to see her sitting at her desk with her books and papers.
I chuckled, "Sure." I said putting on just my painting overalls. I usually never wear a shirt because I always end up somehow getting paint on my skin anyway.
This kind of the thing was normal for me and Ry. Like I said, her grandparents basically raised me so we practically grew up like sisters.
"I'm doing a piece for my art final right now so I'm not going to be talking much." I said taking the phone to my painting station.
"Ooooo set up the camera I wanna see." She said excitedly.
I laughed, "Why?"
"Because it's fun watching people paint now do it." She snapped lightheartedly.
I decided not to argue and just set up the camera on the couch that was behind me so she can see me and the canvas.
I had headphones in so she could still hear me properly, "I don't even know what I want to do yet." I sighed.
"Well what's your muse." She hummed.
"Women." I replied, "The beauty of women to be more specific."
"Excellent choice." She said, feeling the smirk through the phone.
"Yeah but I still don't know what I want to do." I grumbled.
"Well I don't think you need a specific thing to paint. Just paint women in different surroundings. Like emotions or something." She mumbled.
My eyes widened and I swung my chair around, "That's a great idea!" I exclaimed.
"I know." She smirked.
I ignored her cockiness for now just because I needed her for something, "Do you still have that dress from your aunts wedding where you were a bridesmaid. The white one?" I asked.
She looked up from her homework, "Yeah why?" She asked suspiciously.
"Great I'm coming over I need you to pose for me." I said picking up my phone.
"I have homework though." She groaned.
I waved her off, "I'll finish it for you." I said, "Pleaseee." I begged, giving her my best puppy dog eyes.
"Fine." She grumbled.
"Yes!" I exclaimed then ran to my room to put on my hoodie, jacket, camera, and converse on, "I'm on my way!" I said as I ran out the door.
"Yeah whatever." She grumbled.
It only took me like 10 minutes since her house is basically down the street from mine and I had to pick something up.
When I got there I knocked on the door rapidly until it opened, "You know, one knock is enough." Ryan snapped.
"I know, I just like pissing you off." I smiled.
"Careful now, before I change my mind." She warned, pointing a finger at me.
I walked in past her, "Sorry, sorry."
I grabbed the stool from her kitchen and brought it to her room and set it down before one of her only blank walls.
"What are you doing?" Ryan asked walking in after me.
"Doesn't matter. Go put the dress on." I said and she just looked up at me with a raised eyebrow, "Please." I added with a smile before she rolled her eyes and got the dress from the closet.
"I'll be in the kitchen while you change." I said and left.
"Don't eat all my hot fries Mayson, I swear to god!" She called.
I snickered and took the bag of hot fries and started munching on them. She'll kill me but whatever it'll be worth it.
"Ok I'm done!" I heard her yell.
I wiped my hands and walked back to the room and open the door, "Wow you don't look ugly." I said looking at her. She was wearing a simple satin, white dress that went to her ankles. It hugged her body at the chest and hips then flowed more at the bottom while the white accentuated her dark skin.
Sometimes I'm proud to call her my sister.
"Gee thanks Mayson, that means so much. I wish I could say the same for you." She smirked pointing at my paint covered overalls.
And other times I'm not.
"Says the one that got mistaken for a 12 year old boy one time." I deadpanned.
"Girl shut up so we can get this over with. And you better not have eaten all my hot fries." She grumbled.
"Yeah, yeah just go sit on the stool." I said, amused.
She did as told and sat there expectantly.
"Ok now angle yourself all the way to the side." I instructed.
"Perfect." I mumbled then took out materials from my pockets.
"Why the hell do you have flowers in your pockets?" She snorted, "Especially in winter."
"I got them from the tree in front of my apartment." I shrugged, "Besides these are Snowdrops, they grow naturally in winter."
I gave her one to hold then I put another on her lap and by her feet, "Where's that light you use to put your makeup on?"
She pointed to her desk and I grabbed the ring light and set it up to shine on her. I took a step back and admired my work.
"Something's not right." I muttered. "Can I do something with your hair?" I asked.
"As long as you don't dye, cut, or straighten it then sure." She shrugged.
I nodded then took a small strand from the side of her head then braided it. I continued do that with different sections of her head, adding an occasional flower to it.
"You know this is actually soothing." She hummed.
I chuckled then put all her hair into a high bun, using the hair tie that was around my wrist.
I stepped back again to admire my work, "Perfect." I smirked, "Now stay still and hold the flower out in front of you."
I went back to my place behind the light and started taking pictures.
I got some from all different angles and directions so I could pick out my favorite.
I was scrolling through the photos in my camera when I glanced up to see Ryan playing with the pendent of her necklace, a small habit she's always had.
I quickly started taking more pictures trying to capture her perfectly. I stopped to see if they turned out good or not and smiled to myself when I scrolled through them, "Perfect." I mumbled.
"I think we're good." I said, putting down my camera.
She immediately started slouching again, "Oh thank god." She exasperated.
I rolled my eyes as I put everything back, "Whatever don't act like you don't like it, you've always liked posing for my paintings."
"Yeah, yeah whatever. I'm too hungry to argue with you." She said then walked out.
I picked up the stool and followed after her, "Hey Ma, hey Pa." Ryan greeted, seeing her grandparents in the kitchen.
Mrs. Jackson had her hair pulled back with an apron on, food started on the stove while Mr. Jackson had a beer leaning on the counter next to her.
"Hey honey-" Mrs. Jackson greeted tiredly before looking up, "You look beautiful sugar." She said with a warm smile.
"Absolutely breathtaking." Mr. Jackson agreed with her.
Ryan smiled and walked towards them, "Thank you guys." She kissed both their cheeks.
"Another one of your pieces?" Mrs. Jackson asked, turning to me.
I nodded and followed Ryan into the kitchen, taking out my camera and handing it to her, "It's for my art final." I said.
"Wow." She muttered, scrolling through them, "Make sure to send me those once you get home." She said handing me back my camera, "I need recent pictures of her anyway for my Facebook."
I chuckled, "Will do Mrs. Jackson. I'll show you the painting too once I'm done with it."
She shook her head, "Your talent is being wasted in some high school class. I keep tellin' ya I'll pay for art school." She said crossing her arms.
I smiled softly and looked down, "I couldn't ask you to do that Mrs. Jackson."
"You not askin' if I'm offerin'." She replied.
"It's fine really." I waved her off.
"You stayin' for dinner." She said turning around to the stove.
"No ma'am I got-" I started.
"It wasn't a question." She interrupted.
I chuckled and decided it was best not to argue with her, "Ok, you need some help?" I asked.
"Sure baby, go cut up those vegetables." She said without turning around.
I nodded and made my way over to the cutting board.
Ryan had left at some point to change and was now was sitting at the island next to her Pa doing homework while he watched football from the living room.
Mrs. Jackson turned around and gave Mr. Jackson a pointed look.
He glanced up when he felt a stare on him and turned in his chair to see his wife staring at him with a look, "What, I gotta help too?" He asked.
All Mrs. Jackson did was tilt her head and squint her eyes, "But I'm watching the game!" He exclaimed and pointed to the TV.
"Yeah? And you not gon be eating a damn thing if you don't get yo ass up from off that chair." She snapped with her hands on her hips.
"What about Ryan!" He asked, pointing at his granddaughter.
"Hey!" Ryan exclaimed, looking up from her homework to glare at her grandpa.
"She's doin homework, you're doin nothing!" She replied.
"But-" Mr. Jackson started before Mrs. Jackson gave him a "don't test me" look.
Mr. Jackson stood up with a sigh and moved into the kitchen to skin the potatoes for the mashed potatoes.
I heard him grumble and mutter under his breathe from the right of me before I heard Mrs. Jackson, "What was that?" She asked glaring at her husbands
"Nothing sweetheart, I said you looked good today." He smiled, peeling potatoes.
"Mhmm." Mrs. Jackson hummed, going back to cooking the food on the stove.
I snickered at the interaction, "What you laughin' at?" Mr. Jackson muttered.
"You just got put in check." I snorted still cutting up vegetables.
"Girl, hush up." He snapped.
Soon with all three of us helping, the food was done in no time.
We were having Mrs. Jackson's famous fried chicken with mixed vegetables and mashed potatoes.
Mrs. Jackson was famous for her ability to cook anything but she was notoriously known for her fried chicken.
We all sat at the dining table with me sitting next to Ryan and her grandparents sitting across from us. We all held each others hands to say grace then dug in.
Nobody talked for a while due to the process of stuffing our mouths.
By our I mean Mr. Jackson, Ryan, and I. Mrs. Jackson was sitting watching us with a fond smile. Cooking has always been her love language.
"Taste alright?" She asked.
Mr. Jackson swallows quickly and took another piece of chicken, "Tastes great, baby." He said then stuffed his mouth.
Me and Ryan hummed along, too busy with our own food.
"Good." She smiled and finally took some food for herself.
"So how was y'all's day today?" Mrs. Jackson asked, eating her food normally, unlike the rest of us who acted like we've been starved for days.
I swallowed my food quickly, "It was good, same old school.The only difference is finals."
Ryan nodded from beside me, "Yeah we're learning the last few subjects and then everything on is review." She added.
"Y'all better stay on top of your studies." She said in a soft but firm voice.
Both Ryan and I nodded in understanding and went back to our food.
"And what about you Craig, how was your day?" Mrs. Jackson turning to her husband on her left who was still too busy stuffing his face with food, "Hm?" He hummed and looked up confused.
Mrs. Jackson rolled her eyes and ignored him making Ryan and I snicker at their interactions."What'd you do today Ma?" Ryan asked.
"Thank you for asking baby, I didn't do too much, it was a slow day at the salon." She said.
Ryan nodded in acknowledgment and more conversations started to pick up now that everyone had eaten.
Once everyone was done I stood up and started taking everyone's plates and bringing them to the kitchen to wash.
"Thank you honey."
"Thank you."
"On your way back, can you get me a toothpick?"
I laughed quietly to myself as I walked to the kitchen with the dishes because of the scolding behind me.
I put the dishes and the sink and started rinsing them to put in the dishwater. I was almost done when I felt a presence behind me.
I looked down to see Mrs. Jackson, "Look at you bein all responsible. I taught you well." She grinned.
I smiled back a soft chuckle leaving me, "That you did." I agree.
When the dishes were done I grabbed my jacket, about to head home, "Thank you for the dinner Mrs. Jackson, it was good like always." I say, standing at the island.
"Don't worry about it baby, you're family." She waved me off.
"Mr. Jackson." I nodded goodbye to which he just gave me a grunt of acknowledgment.
Me and him have always had that "I care for you but I act like I hate you" dynamic.
"Bye Ry, I'll see you tomorrow and thanks for being my muse." I said kissing her head as she sitting at the island.
"Bye Mace and you're welcome." Ryan said.
I walked out of the house and immediately the warm feeling of coziness and love vanished completely from my heart.
The Jackson's have always been a second family to me and treated me like their own but every time, I get reminded that it's only temporary and they aren't my real family.
My real family is lord knows while I have been and am alone. Sometimes it doesn't bother me or more like I act like it doesn't, and other times it really gets to me, more around the holiday season.
The period of Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years isn't a very fun time for me considering I have no one to spend it with because the Jackson's always go down to the South to spend time with their family during the holiday season.
Luckily this year for Thanksgiving they stayed so I wasn't alone for that but usually I am. They're going back to Cali for Christmas and New Years because that's where they're originally from which means I'll be alone again.
Granted they always invite me to come but like I said, I hate being a bother and nuisance to people and no matter how many times Ryan and Mrs. Jackson reassures me I'm not, my brain just can't accept it.
So I usually just treat myself to a crème brûlée from the bakery and watch a ton of movies on Christmas.
Sometimes I'll go to my window or a bench downtown to draw different people. As cliche as it sounds, everybody is genuinely happier during the holidays and when I draw it usually reflects that.
The kids pulling their parents to go see Santa, the rink full of young teenagers and adults, the rush of people trying to get a good last minute present for the loved one, even the occasional old couple celebrating yet another holiday together.
Sometimes I like to wish that when I come home from drawing people, a warm house with the smell of pine, food cooking, and cookies. My father watching TV in the living room while my mother was baking Christmas cookies. The house would've been all decorated with stockings, tinsel, and Santa decorations littering the house. And to top it off, a giant Christmas tree, filled to the brim with homemade ornaments and a shining star at the very top.
I remember doing that for years after my mom left and even more so after my dad. That's all I ever asked for Christmas as a kid, was for my family to drop all its problems and become a actual family.
As I got older I realized the reality of that never happening and accepted the fact that my family will never be a family and I should stop killing myself by hoping it will ever happen.
I learned to accept it and move on but if I'm really being honest, I know I haven't really moved on and it still bothers me how Ill never experience a loving family.
••••••••••
Heyyyyy :)
This is somewhat unedited so I apologize if it's bad.
It's been awhile, how y'all doing?
I also apologize for being gone for so long I just had a lot of stuff goin on in my life.
How's your summer been so far?
-C