"Apo..." Gentle snores were the only reply for the call to the younger's name. Kinn worried his bottom lip between his teeth as he whispered once more to confirm the sleeping creature was, in fact, asleep. "Apo..." Kinn's fingers brushed tentatively against the back of the other man's nape, that was facing towards him with a sizable hickey near the back of his earlobe, that Kinn flushed with pride at seeing. His thumb picked up a stray droplet of sweat that he licked clean, and thought about adjusting the temperature in the room before recalling that he absolutely adored the sheen Apo's caramelized skin took on.
Especially after an exerted activity like making love. Kinn was giddy calling sex that. 'Making love'. The mafia head had repeated it into Apo's ear, that the younger had to bop him in the head a few times to get him to stop. It was impossible not to be incredibly high on a cloud...for only so long. Now his eyes were allowed to freely gaze along his lover.
The man glowed so iridescently that Kinn was certain a nightlight would never be needed again to light his way in the darkness, he only needed the actor.
The moonlight that streamed through the open curtains nearby gave a view of the cityscape, an impressive sight to most, and it paled to the magnificence adorning his bed. The feeling of his eased heart in his ribcage had Kinn ironically restless. He was usually always a frenzy of madness, chaos, and discord. Not peacefully restful with a lover in his arms.
"So beautiful..." His breathy whisper blew the tufts of hair at the base of that strong neck, smiled secretly at the goosebumps that developed there and just tilted his head. How could he lose his very soul to this man? Just another human that he'd found irrefutable comfort in. And his feelings were returned! It was the only victory Kinn needed to know he had finally succeeded at life. Money and power faded or disappeared, love was supposed to be a staple that carried the strongest of men through hailstorms, and Kinn knew this would be true.
But after every storm that passed through, the aftermath could be devastating - if unprepared.
"I love you...so much. I'm terrified..." The barest of admissions came out weakly, choked almost. Grateful that the dozing back facing him would not witness such vulnerability. Kinn being allowed this miniscule moment to absorb. A sharp gulp of saliva in his mouth, a build up from the anxiety that filled him now that the initial adrenaline had dissipated with their fevered passion, molded dance of flesh. Now the afterglow of the younger as he rested allowed Kinn time to think.
He wasn't blind, "I could've lost you." A statement. Solidly mused, quietly reflected to the beauty snoring more securely. The sounds becoming a fundamental for Kinn now. How curious that he'd vowed to never be in this predicament again. Filled with conflicts, feeling undeserving; his resolve wavering despite the relief from the rescue.
His fingers had touched against the rope burns on Apo's wrists when he'd applied healing cream and aloe to soothe the scalded skin.
His eyes noticed the very thin line of a blade against the actor's neck, treated the injury promptly and bandaged, receiving a smile of gratitude in return.
Kinn's ire grew at the bruises against Apo's forearms when he had pinned him down to the bed, noticed the small wince cross those features that dazzled him constantly with their emotions, and only given assurances to continue. 'Don't stop Kinn, I need to feel you...' and Kinn couldn't stop. Shamefully as he should have set boundaries and resisted. He didn't want to.
He proceeded to claim every inch, every centimeter, every sliver of anything that belonged to Apo with his own hands, mouth, and essence. The need to imprint and reclaim positively primal.
The keens, moans, and groans that escaped the pair of them from their multiple couplings was nothing short of animalistic, wholesome, and made Kinn painfully aware of how easy it could be taken from him. How simple it would be for someone to pluck Apo and deposit him straight into the fire. Left to be turned into ashes.
He rolled back onto his back. Studiously glared holes into the ceiling as he lifted a hand up to see the signet ring on his finger and not for the first time longed to remove it. To shrug off the responsibilities.
"If only I wasn't born Kinn Theerapanyakun...I could love you as an ordinary man."
His impulsiveness and momentary miscalculation of not taking Vegas, of all people, seriously almost became costly. He curled his fingers into a fist in return. How he wished he'd punched Vegas' teeth out. Left the man slurred and choking on his teeth and blood, the satisfying gurgling of discomfort would've made it worth the broken skin he'd have on his knuckles. Kinn just sighed again. The exhalation felt heavy.
Kinn did his best to not jostle his other arm that was serving its purpose as a pillow for Apo, the hair tickled the crook of his elbow, and he didn't dare move. He was treasuring this moment.
'What about next time Kinn? You might not get a next time.'
The devil on his shoulder that always prayed on his insecurities came to stab Kinn in the neck with its imaginary pronged fork into his brain, pierced through to inject realisms, and withdrew with cynical laughter as that was all Kinn was left with.
"What do I do?" Leaning over to brush a delicate kiss to Apo's temple, Kinn withdrew his arm from underneath Apo's head gingerly to deposit the younger onto the pillow, making sure he was covered fully and still resting before shifting to get up from the bed and sit on the edge. He had to put safeguards in place, so this didn't happen again. "Increase the guards with him. Limit the events he's going to. Make sure he's escorted at all times. I can't live with a repeat of this in the future." The resolution sounded plausible to him as he shuffled to put on some silk pajama pants and matching robe, and about to travel to the door to rally the troops to get everything in order and paused.
Something made him turn around to see the reflection of the time on his alarm clock to see that it was 2AM. He was going insane.
Sounding restrictively like a tyrant. Wanting to keep Apo caged. Like the little nightingale that sang its song to the emperor that captured it after hearing it sing. Only there to entertain without any other purpose until one day it stopped singing for the lack of its freedom. A withered shell of what it once was. Would he be doing the same to Apo? That love would turn to hate quickly, and he paled.
"He'd hate me..."
Kinn wanted to pull out his hair in frustration. He wanted to smoke. He wanted to punch a wall. He—
"Meow?"
A little purring at his ankles had Kinn peek down to see Sour Cream Lobster had snuck into the room from the couch he normally preferred to sleep on. Throwing off his groove. Kinn tilted his head to the side, "Did you come to answer the call to my meltdown?"
The feline just bumped its head against Kinn's ankles and calves, circling for attention and swishing its tail left then right. He sighed as he crouched, vaguely aware of his lack of underwear in his pants, then scooped up the creature to feel it nudge its head against Kinn's chin, "What? You didn't want to be carried?" He laughed lightly as if confused as the furry limbs were attacking him in a bid to change positions, "I thought you did?"
"Meoooow."
Snorting to himself, Kinn just waited for the animal to get comfortable in his arms, which resulted in Kinn feeling the tickle of fur against his neck as the cat lay there, much like a baby that was being carried around like a prince. Of course, Apo always carried Sour Cream Lobster like his baby, made sense the cat wanted Kinn to do the same. They were co-parents now.
"I see. You just want to be babied."
"Meow."
"Like owner like pet."
"Meow."
Kinn pressed his nose against the soft head, "Sour Cream Lobster...I love your dad. like crazy. I want to keep him safe, but I don't want him to hate me. Give me advice?"
The tiniest of licks against his stubbled chin had Kinn smile to himself, strangely contented with the tiny affection from a cat he didn't want to be bothered with and now couldn't imagine his life without. Like Apo, it was becoming impossibly stifling.
"Do I break his wings, or do I set him free?"
The mafia head felt gurgling in his stomach. Food was important and they hadn't eaten since they'd returned to the compound. Their focus was on a different kind of food and Kinn's blood had been pumping to replace anything Vegas had done to Apo. Put a new memory of ecstasy instead of fear or pain. His boyfriend was impossibly strong, he could tell from the fierceness of those eyes and steadiness in Apo's voice, despite the trembling that shook his body the entire car ride back.
He left his suite, found his way to the kitchens, and shooed out any lingering staff that remained in the event any of them (mostly Tankhun) got hunger cravings and needed food at 4 AM. His brother was an absolute monster when he was hungry. Kinn set Sour Cream Lobster onto the nearby counter, hands on his hips.
"He'll be hungry as soon as he wakes up. I kind of tired him out..." Kinn looked sheepishly as the cat curled up, paws tucked in, order to watch him. Even those narrowed yellow eyes were judging him and his sexual appetite. He cleared his throat and pointed, "Don't judge me." This was distracting him from his earlier ranting, for which he was grateful, and he scratched the animal's ears to purrs. "Just listen to me and don't answer. I just need to get this out..."
Kinn moved to grab some fruit from the fruit bowl, "Fruit salad sounds pretty good..." his hands were working to wash apples, mangos, pomelo, and lychee. He started to peel each class of fruit one by one as he spoke, "I never felt like this you know? I mean I used to love a guy. I met him in college and thinking about it, he was pretty much a loser. My fault for having blinders on." He clicked his tongue as he set down the apples, moved to the pomelo and continued talking. "I had to kill him. He betrayed my family and that's a big no-no. Just business, you know? It shattered me. I couldn't function for three months afterwards." He put the pomelo and apples into a bowl.
Reaching for the lychee, he peeled and watched one roll towards Sour Cream Lobster who jumped on it to nibble on the fruit and laughed, "There was a time I couldn't talk about it. I felt like an idiot to fall in love with someone who took advantage of me. Tankhun somehow pulled me through it. Kim was always being mister super-star to care." Shrugging, Kinn peeled a couple more to offer to the cat, making a tiny lychee pile for it, "Please don't die eating these or Apo will kill me. Anyway...now that I have him...I just want to keep him safe. This whole kidnapping thing could happen again and again. I have enemies that would love to use my weakness against me. But if I keep him by my side, it's just too extreme and he'd come to detest me. Not a win-win.
"Then find a happy medium. If people could see you now, Kinn – master of Thailand – talking his relationship woes with his boyfriend's cat. Totally Whipped."
Turning to look over his shoulder, the knife curled into his hand automatically and moving to stand in front of the cat to protect it, he blinked owlishly, "Speak of the fucking devil. How do you know the cat isn't mine?" In front of him was Kim. Did he manifest this? Kinn wrinkled his nose at the thought. If he had that power, he would've manifested his adorable lover instead, not his annoying little bother.
"Because you straight up hate animals? But somehow, you're feeding, talking, and cooing at a cat? Besides Tankhun told me about it."
"Nosy. Both of you are incredibly nosy."
"Hi to you too Kinn."
"Whatever. What're you doing here?"
Kim, his youngest brother, and constant pain in the ass with his pretty smile and sarcastic features, rolled his eyes and bypassed Kinn to reach into the bowl to grab a couple of apple slices to pop into his mouth, "I live here."
"The hell you do."
"Since Papa hasn't disowned me and I had the code for the compound—"
"You little shit. You broke into the Bank of Thailand for shits and giggles when you were 16."
"...On a dare that you told me to do?"
"You're so obedient?"
The youngest Theerapanyakul brother opened his mouth to argue, then shut it with a shrug, "Fair enough. Only took 2 hours. It was my first time, cut me some slack."
"I did. I didn't rat you out to Papa or the cops," A smirk on his face as he avoided Kim's fist flying towards him in that playful manner that they did sometimes. He went to grab a pomelo slice now himself, chewed on a piece thoughtfully. "Seriously though. Why are you here? I thought you hated being at the main house."
"...I heard you got into some trouble..."
"And what you came to check if I was dead?" Kinn winced at Kim's harsh smack to his shoulder, lifted a hand to rub the spot lightly, and glared at his brother, "Violent as always. Little asshole."
Pointing a finger to Kinn's forehead to push it, not afraid of his older brother or the repercussions; despite outward appearances, they were not incredibly close, but no one messed with the others without getting the full-fledged fury in return. Messing with each other was a special brotherly privilege. Kim said, "One day Kinn. One day someone will tell me you died, and I'll brush it off. You'll probably die having sex like a weirdo.
"I did a couple of hours ago actually. But I'm alive as you can tell and refreshed. You missed the acoustics. You would've appreciated it seeing as you're a so-called singer."
"Kinn—" Kim's hand lifted about to deck Kinn, the other's arm ready to deflect and return the fist to the head or face.
"I didn't know there was an early morning brotherly pow-wow that I wasn't invited to?"
Turning to look over his shoulder, Kim rolled his eyes at seeing Tankhun standing there in the most audacious, obnoxious pink feathered widow-maker gown that trailed behind him like a ready-made red carpet. He shifted to lean his hip against the counter, next to Kinn, and popped more apple slices into his mouth, "Morning Khun."
"It's too early for this don't you think boys?"
"I came because I was hungry." Kinn advised.
Kim stared, "I came because I was also hungry."
"He came because he was nosy because you summoned him," the middle child just remarked easily to Tankhun. Despite being the middle one, he held the most authority between them combined, and respect was never pushed too far. There was Kinn as their brother and Kinn as their leader. They read the room to assuage how they responded. "I handled what I needed to handle."
"Kim, I told you about Kinn's update on life to keep you posted not so you can sneak in here snooping."
Another shrug from the youngest, reaching around to dip into the bowl that Kinn had chopped so lovingly for Apo and himself, consuming without a care, "I wanted to see this Apo for myself. You two praising an actor must mean he's cool."
"He didn't run in your circles mister celebrity?" Tankhun questioned, joining in feasting on the fruit, ignoring Kinn's pointed glare at them doing so. The fruit was a goner the moment they dipped their hands into it.
"Nope. I'm a singer. He's an actor. Different circles," Kim drew circles with his fingers, "But I looked him up and he's done some decent work here and there. Usually as a secondary character. I don't know how he managed to entice Kinn. Our brother's so extra and needs a diva or super-star."
"He is a super-star."
"In your eyes."
"Mine are all that matter. But to answer your question... his eyes attracted me first. The rest followed once I inspected up close."
Tankhun smirked at Kinn's reply and Kim raised an eyebrow. Kinn continued as if unable to stop explaining the feeling he got from seeing Apo.
"Tankhun had one of his dramas on a while ago. I just...I was captivated. They were honest, expressive, everything that I'm not." He sighed, chewing on the lychee as Sour Cream Lobster had hopped off the counter, walking away like he owned the mansion, and neither brother noticed. Kinn pondered, "Just stunning. I gave him a contract to be my boyfriend to get Pa to leave me be."
"So, it's fake?"
"It started that way...and somehow, he just managed to melt my heart, Kim. Just everything he did contrasted me and still fit me perfect," Kinn laced his fingers together, "His smiles, his little giggles, his attention to detail. You know that he won't let me leave for my meetings without checking my clothes to make sure everything is in place? I just never had someone care."
Kim rolled his eyes as he munched on the last apple slice, "I repeat. Kinn Theerapanyakul is whipped for his boyfriend. Never thought I'd be around to see that day and gloat."
"Kim. You have one minute to get out before I literally throw you."
"Hey, I was going to skulk around to get more insight on your guy with the computers here since mine at my apartment doesn't have government access. Pa restricted it—"
"Good. Fucking snoop."
Kim flipped his middle finger to Kinn before finishing, "— I didn't find anything. I couldn't believe someone could be so squeaky clean and find their way here. Then I found the contract so thanks for confirming facts I already knew. I pieced everything together in two minutes. Really Kinn? Contracts and then wine and dine them? Romance isn't dead I see."
"I'm a businessman first."
"And a lover second. Yeah, yeah. Always have to have someone holding your dick Kinn."
The elder raised a brow, "Are you on my side or his?"
"I can't be on his side because I don't know him. I can't be on your side because I do know you," Snickering, Kim went to wash his hands in the nearby sink, "Coin toss; I don't care either way. Just glad you're alive for me to keep bothering you. You should've called me; I'd have loved to help you with Vegas."
"Kinn wouldn't let me blow up the minor family house as I wanted." Tankhun pouted.
"Pa would've been mad at all of us. At least this way, Uncle Gun keeps his son...in a wheelchair. But minor detail for the minor family."
Kim laughed, almost manically, "What a dad joke. You really have gone soft." His own expression calmed, "I'm glad. You seem more human this way Kinn. If this guy's responsible for it, he can't be all bad. I don't understand your predicament. Yes, I heard the whole spilling your guts to the cat as soon as you started."
"Lurker."
"It's my middle name."
"What is this spilling of guts? Why do you two have fun when I'm not around?" The eldest stomped his foot on the ground, glared at them and perturbed.
"Your fault for sleeping on the job Khun. You live here and you don't know everything?" Kim clicked his tongue in disapproval, batted at Khun for mussing up his hair and deadpanned. "He's having an existential crisis over keeping his boyfriend or tossing him to the curb."
"Kim!"
Tankhun caught Kinn's wrist before it went flying towards Kim's face, shaking his head, "You love him. Why would you toss him to the curb?"
"His safety should matter more than my needs. Vegas got to him because I fucking let him! How will I guarantee it won't happen again and that I'm not too late..." He crumpled against the counter as if all the fury at reliving the moment that occurred hours ago was pushed to the forefront of his mind. Kinn never bothered with a job after it was completed. He annihilated, he murdered, he came home to sleep. Now having the fragility of life - Apo's not his - delicately dangled like bait had him swallow hard. "I can't live if something happens to him and it's my fault."
"It'll most definitely be your fault." Kim retorted. Noticed Kinn shoot daggers at him, and he waved a hand, "We're a danger to everyone and anyone we associate with. It's why I keep detached. It's called playing it safe Kinn. But...did this guy run away after you saved him? I mean unless you have him handcuffed to your bed, I don't want to know." He shuddered at the thought of his brother's sexapades.
"He's just sleeping upstairs. Free to leave whenever he wants. Tired out from the night and...other things. I told you already. Want me to draw a picture?"
"That's your answer." Tankhun chimed in. "Apo has been opinionated from the beginning. Politely, almost uncertainly, but he has. Chan told me that he was pretty adamant about how he felt about you to Papa. Anyone who can stare into a dragon's mouth and not be afraid to be burned shouldn't be taken lightly." He smiled, "You're underestimating him."
Kinn ran hands through his hair, shoulders drooping, "I don't think I should have fallen in love. This feeling of helplessness is unbearable."
"It comes with loving someone. It's a good thing, means you still bleed red, Kinn," Patting his little brother's shoulder, Tankhun finished the remaining fruit in the bowl to leave it empty and pointed a finger, "If you drive him away with eccentricities, you'll live with the regret for the rest of your life. Miserable old man that wasted away on his mountain of gold, lonely and pathetic. I told you from the beginning that he'd have this effect on you. I could tell...yet you dove right in. Be responsible, stop running away and hiding like a little kid. He's not Tawan."
Both Kim and Kinn stared at Tankhun speaking coherently, straightforwardly, and despite his appearance, making sense.
Kim pointed, "What he said."
"What do suggest love guru?"
"Talking like an adult, Kinn?"
"I do talk to him, Khun."
"I mean one on one. Take him on a little vacation? No distractions, no one else. There must be a place he's always wanted to visit, Kinn?"
"Apo said he liked the beach once...but with work hasn't been able to go."
"Then go. Just the two of you? I can hold down the fort."
Kim tilted his head and hummed, "I can stay too. I'm sure Papa will get a thrill having me home for a few days. Besides someone has to be here to deal with the fall out with Uncle Gun about Vegas. Seems like a pain in the ass. I'm good at manipulating words."
"With the two of us here Kinn, we'll handle things for a while. Get your life sorted and then come back."
Kinn was shocked. Both of his brothers were working to help him for once! That never, ever happened. He lifted a hand to pinch his own cheek, "Ow..." and realized he was awake. Then guardedly mused, "What's the angle?"
"You suspicious son of a bitch! Stop shooting the gift horse in the mouth and just go?! God you're impossible!" Kim shouted at Kinn, shaking his head, and stomping out of the kitchen. Presumably to his bedroom as Kinn noticed the younger was wearing pajamas.
Kinn's brow raised and looked to Tankhun, "What?"
"Have fun Kinn. You deserve it. Get some sun, you need it," Tankhun swiveled around in a flurry as well, padding his way out as if concluding their brotherly meeting for the year, and went back to his own room. Kinn left alone again. No cat, no brothers. Surprisingly, his mind was a lot clearer though and he smiled to himself.
"They're not so bad..." He had a to-do list now.
1) Look for a beach that was relatively private and secluded
2) Confirm that there were no events Apo had that would conflict
3) Mentally prepare himself to possibly let his nightingale fly away from him
Kinn really wanted to smoke.
~~~
Brisk air pelting against the heated skin of his face was refreshing. His teeth cooled from being pulled back in an exuberant laugh from a joke Kinn cracked, his eyes crinkled in mirth behind Dior sunglasses perched on his nose, and he moved to poke the pale cheek of the driver.
"Did you just crack a joke?
"I'm not allowed?"
"It's hard to imagine!" Apo laughed through the blasting music from the radio of the convertible Kinn was racing along the road with added noise from the car being driven topless, the gush of wind that came through blocked his hearing. Yet somehow, he was in tune to everything the man said as if they were in a quiet room. He was too excited and jittery to think about anything but this outing. They were going to the beach! He didn't know which beach, but it was the beach, nonetheless. Coming from a beach town like Huahin, it was always his goal to settle down by the seaside and enjoy the relaxed ambiance again. Ironic as he'd left it to pursue a career in acting. It was his calling. Didn't mean he didn't get homesick from time to time. "What made you want to come here?"
"You?"
"Seriously?"
"Seriously, Apo. You said I'm not good at telling jokes, so my words have to be serious."
Five days ago, after everything had settled down from the whole 'Vegas kidnapping Apo to get revenge on Kinn' happened; Apo thought a lot about different things. The experience had left him shaken. He couldn't deny that. It was different to pretend violence, to fake death, to ignore the moral dilemma of loving a risky man on screen for a show or a movie. This wasn't fake – this was reality. This was his life now.
He loved Kinn and with it came the possible consequences of losing his own life in the process. Apo understood and was naïve to this new world that he'd been thrust into by means of a contract and stayed for adoration of his heart's owner. Mafia. Dating a mafia man. It was like he'd had an awakening that had happened when a knife was pressed to his jugular, his options tossed in front of him to just wait and die, and Apo saw it flash before his eyes. His own morality was in jeopardy, and he was helpless to stop what might've happened.
Except he knew one thing – Kinn was the only factor of importance in his decisions lately.
The absolute relief when he saw Kinn, covered in blood, hands gripping life-taking weapons, and running towards him with the urgency of a mad man on a mission seemed to push away any sense of hesitance. It was Apo's fault for being this way. Stranger danger was never a concept he learned as he'd gone across the ocean to study in New York alone and try to find something to fulfill him. Not finding it there, he came home. His return to Thailand had been the highlight of his life. Until he'd only been cast again for smaller roles, his agency overlooked him, and he sighed to himself.
He thought he was stuck in complacency until the mafia leader popped in.
Unexpectedly, unapologetically, and unwavering. Apo was whisked for an adventure. As much as he liked routine, he loved spontaneity even more. His hand went to lace with Kinn's on the gear stick, "Thank you..."
"For what baby?"
"Just thank you..." For loving me. His mind finished. Apo shifted in his seat, leaning to lay his head on Kinn's shoulder to inhale his boyfriend's natural scent, one that he could get addicted to daily. To have this formidable man love him was equally stimulating, startling, and thrilling. He closed his eyes and felt safe.
Kinn risked a quick peck to the top of that hair before looking forward to continuing the drive. The music playing was tunes that he'd let Apo pick. He felt his heart jolt at the living warmth holding onto his hand, curling into him instead of away as most would. Apo didn't ask for things but was grateful for them. How had he missed finding this angel on earth before?
His phone rang, he pressed the Bluetooth in his ear that Apo agreed would be fine to have for emergency calls aka his brothers burning down the world without him.
"Kinn."
"Hello sunshine. You hit the road so early, we didn't get to wish you luck."
He snorted at hearing Tankhun on speaker phone with who knew who else, "I didn't know I had to report in. We wanted a head start."
"That's what I told Papa. He was being pouty—"
"Doubtful. What do you want? I said only call me for emergencies."
"It is! We wanted to give you a list of things to bring back as souvenirs!"
"Goodbye Khun, Kim, Papa, and anyone listening in."
"Ki—" Kinn clicked off the Bluetooth, removed it from his ear and tossed it out the car with a resounding crunch when his tires crushed the item. He smiled to himself. He had to enjoy this paradise before returning back to his usual existence.
"Everything okay? Should we turn around?" Apo mumbled from his sleepy perch on Kinn's shoulder, going so far as to drool a bit on his shirt, sitting back to wipe his mouth. "Sorry..."
"Nope. We have three days to ourselves. They can handle it."
Apo nodded firmly, beaming at him, "Let's find something to bring back for them, okay?" The actor felt refreshed from his ten-minute nap, sat back to look at the mountains that continued to wind by them. Not sure where they were going, but happy to be there for the ride. For Kinn, he'd just fallen deeper in love at Apo's consideration of his family.
~~~
"Come on Kinn!"
"Baby ... I burn... really easily."
"I brought sunscreen though!"
"I don't like that brand. It's rough for my skin. It's fine."
Apo had bounded away from Kinn and the huge tent they'd erected together. He had gone to the local store to buy the necessities with Kinn since his boyfriend was a complete novice when it came to vacations. They packed their luggage full of clothing. Brand new clothing that Kinn insisted on, designer luggage, everything screamed extra. Yet he forgot toiletries, snacks, and Apo was more than content to walk him through it. Hand-in-hand.
They had gone to Hua Hin.
Did Kinn pick this place after finding out about his hometown? Well, Kinn had researched his background before they'd gotten together. It was one thing to look up and another to remember. Apo was bursting with happiness.
The resort they went to, five star, complete with butler service that Apo insisted they not use. Kinn gave him a deadpan, Apo returned it with kisses and promise of more if Kinn just went with the flow for once. He watched the mafia man shrug off his reservations and just let Apo take the reins.
Now on the beach, the blanket was laid out and Kinn seemed inclined to sit under the shade and just watch him. Rolling his eyes, Apo ran back to crouch in front of his lover and offered his hands, "The beach is to swim not sit around. Do you not know how to swim? We can hold hands?"
"I know how to swim, baby. I just don't do beaches."
"Why'd we come here then?"
"Because you like it."
"I like it...but I'd love it more if you were enjoying yourself."
"I...am?"
Apo raised an eyebrow, shook his head before shifting to sit down next to Kinn instead, legs outstretched in front of him and just humming to himself. Bracing himself on his hands as he closed his eyes to drink in the ocean breeze. Kinn blinked his eyes and looked at the process. Then the actor flopped back to lay down fully, pillowed his head with his arms and sighed, "Then I'll enjoy it with you here."
"You don't have to be here with me Apo. Go swim or whatever you want to do, I'm okay just watching."
"There's no other place I'd rather be. Whether it's swimming in the ocean, building sandcastles, lying in bed, and just sleeping, as long as it's with you Kinn, I'm happy."
Kinn hitched his breath at that honesty. He moved so that his arms went to either side of Apo's head, braced his weight from the lean over to cover the other's face, so when those eyelashes fluttered open to reveal the adorable amber gems, the smile that spread across his own face was genuine, "How are you so good to me?"
"I don't get what you mean? I should say that. You brought me home. Took me to the beach that I wanted. I even picked the music coming here!"
"That was just...I mean..."
"It means everything to me." Apo lifted a hand from his head to cup Kinn's face, the pad of his thumb brushing against a worry line against Kinn's brows to ease the tension there before grinning, "I love you."
"Why?"
"Why what, Kinn?"
Kinn rolled his tongue against the inside of his cheek. Leaned unconsciously into the palm that held the weight of his cheek, turned to pepper the palm with kisses but eyes never wavered, "Why love someone like me?"
The actor blinked owlishly. Is this what had been on Kinn's mind the past few days too? He'd noticed the awkwardness (observant as he was) and how Kinn was tiptoeing around him. After their passionate rekindling from his liberation from clutches of Kinn's foolish cousin, Kinn hadn't touched him or seemed afraid to break him. Now the question being posed of why and he let out laughter that couldn't be helped. He saw Kinn look confused and leaned his head up to nudge their noses together, "I love you."
"Apo—"
"Because you love me."
"Huh?"
"You understand me a lot better than a lot of people, Kinn."
"Yes, but we didn't really start our relationship on an honest basis."
"That's true except we did. You told me what you needed from me, gave me a little choice to take it or leave it, and I stayed. No one can make me do anything Kinn," Apo shook his head. He pursed his lips to peck a kiss to Kinn's lips after each attribute that he loved about Kinn. This man needed reassurances that he wasn't planning to leave anytime soon. "You gave me my cat..." Kiss. "You came to my events..." Another smooch. "You don't tell me that my work as an actor is nothing. You give it worth...I mean how often does an actor get the biggest gig of his lifetime?" Apo snickered as he adjusted his long limbs. Arms encircled around Kinn's neck gently in a loose hold, felt Kinn also maneuver to be between his legs, stared at one another as they laid on the sand. "Love was a bonus."
Anyone looking in from the outside would just see a pair of men who were unable to look away from the treasure they'd found. He waited.
Kinn listened to all of it. The praising he received was not like when he'd gotten a good deal for his father, or a million baht deposited from a successful hostile takeover; this was pure, unsolicited honor that came from the lips of an individual that snuck his way into his heart when Kinn wasn't looking. His mother always told him that he'd find absolute love when he least expected it. That as long as he didn't turn a blind eye to all possibilities, it would come.
Unconditional. He blinked away the urge to cry. Swallowed the build-up of emotions in his throat that wanted to spill out, and instead whispered, "I love you so much."
"I know."
"I'm terrified to lose you." The echoed admission from days ago. This time at its intended target.
"You won't."
"Apo. My life could end in the blink of an eye. At the end of a bullet. A slash at my throat."
Apo popped his lips, "I mean that would be a problem, right?" Using his grip on Kinn's neck, he pulled the other down firmly to squeeze his lover with a tight, protective embrace; it was one of those 'I cherish you' embraces that he play acted with others and those times had been hollow. This was sincere, "Then we have to value every moment we do have together, right? Life's short as it is. Why spend it worrying about things we can't control?"
"How do you sound so certain?"
"It's because I have you in front of me, in my arms, so I can face the world head on. I never felt so sure before. You just do what you have to do. At least you're not alone now."
"I'm ... I've lost to you."
"Good. I like to say I won over Kinn Theerapanyakul."
Kinn just relished this comfort. It was abundant and it seemed he really did just have to talk to Apo after all. He was eased, "Can I bribe you to give up acting and just be my kept husband?"
The actor snorted in amusement, laughing when he felt Kinn dip to allow all the weight onto his torso, Apo supported him now. He'd always support Kinn as best he could with any endeavor as the man had done for him. "We need to date a little longer before we get married first off. And secondly, you know I'd hate that."
"I had to ask otherwise I'd live with the uncertainty," Kinn joked (for the most part) but he just nuzzled his face against the tanned flesh of that neck. Tiny nips, kisses, and the occasional lick that brought a shiver that Kinn felt from Apo as he smirked. "I would make love to you every day and night, keep you fed and happy, lavish you with diamonds and gems. You'd never want for anything?"
"What's stopping you from doing that anyway Kinn?"
Kinn pulled his head back to see Apo stick his tongue out at him in that playfully coy way. He knew the other lived simply, modestly, and only accepted things at Kinn's behest. Now it seemed the actor was embracing the lifestyle of being a mafia head's boyfriend. His lips spread widely from ear-to-ear, "Nothing. Nothing at all."
"Then kiss me and we can talk about a compromise with my career later. Deal?" Apo let the tip of his tongue trace along the plush of Kinn's bottom lip, laid back with his hair fanned out as his eyes took a darker hue, demure and seductive. Kinn's swim shorts tenting from being turned on at the tactic. Grabbed Apo's arms away from his neck to pin the other onto the blanket now.
"You're distracting me, Apo."
"Where should your attention be other than on me anyway?" The actor laced their fingers despite being pinned, legs lifted to lightly wrap themselves around Kinn's waist in a method to also keep them glued together. Apo's bright eyes would gleam as they did when the camera was on them to see his real emotion, "I'm really good at stealing the spotlight. I've been told anyway."
The elder just growled friskily as his head tilted, mouth open to meet Apo's in a fierce kiss that encompassed all of his feelings as best as he could: happy, sad, afraid, nervous, worried, and everything in between. The moan from Apo was inhaled and returned when he felt those legs tighten their grip and pull Kinn's lower half straight down against Apo's crotch, gyrated in slow circles for friction. Clearly and pointedly, this man was just perfection wrapped up in Kinn's shirt and Prada swim shorts.
"The best, baby...the best..."
~~~
The velvet swipe of that tongue against his quivering hole just made Apo's fingers curl into the bedsheets beneath him, as he did his best to not roll back as instructed. At Kinn's mercy.
They'd rutted like horny teenagers in the sand when Apo heard the telltale sign of kids running down towards their area on the beach. He knew that Kinn was mindless to care but he couldn't traumatize the youth of tomorrow and not feel guilty about it. Convincing Kinn to move was an obstacle but one he overcame successfully. The awkward shuffle back to the car, items left behind without a care, Apo just let himself be manhandled from that moment.
Kinn's hands were on him, hot breath against the back of his neck when he'd been pressed to the glass of their villa's room, overlooking the private pool that Apo thought they'd make use of at some point during their stay. Only to be distracted by the quick prep work of vigorous fingers that produced lubricant from THIN AIR and pumped themselves relentlessly into his body, while simultaneously jerking off his own cock. Those digits merciless against his prostate, and Apo was so relaxed when that cock slipped right between his cheeks like it belonged there, that he didn't realize he'd come from the overstimulation.
He didn't have time to be embarrassed as Kinn started.
Back and forth, Apo was deliciously trapped. Front against the cold glass, shorts rumpled at his knees, Kinn's brutal grip against his hips to propel him back onto that thick cock that was spreading him wider than the three fingers had: pounding with a drunken abandon and driven by Apo's pleas for 'more' ... 'right there' ... 'harder'.
One round finished as quickly as it started, Apo couldn't catch his breath as his shorts were pushed down the rest of the way, the shirt ripped at the buttons from his body to be completely naked on quivering legs.
"Kinn..." He remembered whispering against heady lips that growled possessively into his mouth and hands that scrambled to hoist him up in a full carry. The biceps bulged at bearing his weight - Apo thrilled at always weighing nothing to Kinn in sex fueled lust, carted like nothing to their bed and tossed onto it firmly. He'd been told to roll around onto his stomach, mewled in obedience and was rewarded with Kinn eating him out.
That had never happened before either. He'd never been on the receiving end from any of his partners. They were always too squeamish or told him to shower and clean himself; not that he let them come inside either. Kinn still held a lot of his firsts and that eased his heart to know that even though they connected late in life, the man would be his last.
"Delicious..."
Groaning from the vibration of Kinn's word against his puckered skin, Apo's fingers curled harder as he did his best to keep his knees from buckling, "Kinn...stop...that's not sanitary..." His face a little flushed. He was thoroughly enjoying it ...... he was just shy now.
"Me eating my own come from inside you isn't sanitary?" Kinn murmured, let another swipe of his tongue after finishing up the clean up job. His teeth bared to bite down on one cheek then the other, marking equally the man that was only his. "I wanted to clean you up, so I can fill you up again."
The younger just twitched at that comment, his cock throbbed between his legs again as it leaked onto the sheets. He couldn't believe how slutty he looked with his boyfriend's face buried against his ass, bent in half on his knees, back arched to allow the action that was wringing out another orgasm. He licked his lips as he pressed his cheek to the side to breathe and speak firmly, "Then. What're you waiting for? Fuck me, Kinn. Paint me with only you, my love." Apo rolled his hips back, earned a spank that Kinn promised him for every time he did so. He was up to three.
The elder couldn't help but twitch at the nickname of 'my love' and a fire ignited in him.
Kinn moved to straighten out where he had been leaning over on his knees, moved to grab one of those ass cheeks to pull aside and grab the weight of his own cock. He slapped the tip against the wet entrance with a hum, "Say it again."
"Mmm...what?" Apo tried to push back, felt when he'd got caught on the head and groaned when Kinn moved off to just tap against his skin. It was like withdrawing his fix and he bit his lip, "Fuck me?"
"No, baby. The other thing."
Thinking was not on the cards right now but like lightning, he was given the answer and Apo softened, "My love. Please take me my love..." the quick push of that hard length back into his body almost punched the air out of Apo's lungs as he clenched down. Toes curled as the curve of that cock was perfect against his nerve bundle. "Move. Make love to me ... Kinn..."
Despite their first hard fuck against the glass, this was different; slower. Kinn took his time to bottom out, circle around slowly, and pulled back inch by inch and pushed back in bit by bit. "Still so tight. Fuck..."
"Just for ...oh...you..." Apo panted, his nipples hard and against the silk sheets as he could feel the sweat of his brows drip into his eyes, and he closed them. The excruciating pace that Kinn was taking him lit him up like a Christmas tree. Every fiber was enflamed with his lover's body pressed lovingly against him. The balls smacking his ass with each rock forward, pounding him smoothly and expertly, he panted. "Kinn. I—"
"I love you, Apo."
The shifting grip from his hips to the dip of his tiny waist had Apo just shiver. Lips came to press kisses against every vertebra against his spine before those lips mouthed against his hairline and he twitched. "I ...I love you Kinn..."
Kinn murmured into his ear, "Come here baby. Sit up." Using his hands to reach for Apo's biceps, the elder sat back on his knees, creating a seat for Apo to settle onto. The shift of his cock hit Apo's prostate head on, and the keen mewl that escaped the actor's lips were sinful. Kinn catalogued it as he continued to bounce the man onto him. Apo didn't need much help as his lover wildly abandoned decorum to ride him backwards. Both just keeping the easy pace, their connection slick with lubricant, saliva, and come; he knew he wouldn't last long. One hand caught Apo's chin to turn that head towards him as one of Apo's hands buried long fingers into his thick hair to keep their tongues entwined, coiled together as groans escaped them. "Perfect for me...so perfect."
"Ah Kinn. You...you got harder...nnh..."
"Because I love you so much that I've got a hard-on for you."
Groaning at the corniness, Apo just tugged Kinn's lower lip between his teeth and flashed amusement and devilish content to the feeling of Kinn surrounding him all over, inside and outside, "Corny."
"I learn quickly. Fuck..." Kinn used his hold to buck up, groaning at penetrating the clenching passage, "I won't...last Apo. Too tight..."
Apo just held Kinn's head steady, shuddered when the warm hand came to jerk off his throbbing length as he rode his lover back to front. His own hand covered Kinn's to help in getting him off. The rubbing of his cock matched pace with the one drawing maps of constellations behind his eyelids as he struggled to hold on from the stimulation. The intimate pressing of that chest to his back made him feel at home and protected. "Kinn—ah—Kinn—I'm gonna—"
"Together, my nightingale. Sing for me."
Laughing at that nickname, Apo just pulled back from their kiss, so their eyes were focused solely on one another, bringing each other to completion as he bore down hard on Kinn to hear the strangled grunt as the spray of that come hit inside him. It felt weird the first time he'd allowed it but now he couldn't imagine not being filled to the brim with his lover's physical love for him. The pride at knowing he could bring Kinn to his knees in ecstasy, driving an impressive man to the brink of no return with just himself. His own orgasm hit with spine-tingling completion that he arched, "Kiiiiinn~!" Eyes rolled back in his skull, Kinn's teeth sinking into his shoulder to mark it among the many signs of claiming against his bronzed skin. He'd be shy seeing them in the mirror later but stayed still to take everything and anything.
"Apo..." His name muffled with Kinn's mouthing his bruised skin.
They stayed still for a moment. The room was silent except for their gasping and attempts for oxygen; the contrast to the plethora of moans and sinful groans that filled it a moment ago. Their bodies slick and sheen with sweat and combined body fluids, and Apo couldn't imagine being anywhere else than right there, right now. Collecting themselves as Apo nudged his nose to Kinn's forehead, seeing those eyes peek back under the cover of bangs as the younger panted. Flush of pink dusting his torso from the exertion of their pleasure, "Hi..."
"Hi baby. Are you okay? ... I'll move."
"Not yet just..." The younger removed their hands from his spent cock, twined their fingers to lift and press it to his chest. Kinn felt the drumming of the heart wildly. His own echoed in return as he waited for Apo to speak, "This is yours too. Along with my body that you just ravished. I won't be able to walk..."
"I'll carry you everywhere."
"I'm trusting you to follow through, Kinn..."
The elder just squeezed their fingers, hair matted down and his face red for multiple reasons, "Thank you for trusting me with your heart. I'll protect it and you with my life. I promise."
"You can't make me that promise." It was a realistic statement but softened to finish as Apo smiled tiredly, "But we can promise to try?"
Kinn nodded as he knew this to be true. Silently absorbing the commitment. Almost wanted to look away shamefully and Apo pressed on to which he stared up with startled eyes. Disbelief filled them as if not believing what his lover just said. Apo caught on to his surprise because he repeated.
"Can I protect you too, Kinn?"
"Protect...me?" Getting a nod from Apo that was filled with determination, the mafia head melted and nodded shakily as he pecked those lips, "I'd like that a lot."
"Good. You won't escape me Kinn. I'm pretty persistent."
"I look forward to it, baby."
The soft kisses they shared, the promises coated with wholehearted sincerity, and Kinn couldn't help but feel he had won himself not just any nightingale, but a golden one. Apo also felt that the emperor he'd tantalized with his song was caged instead in his hands. They looked forward to tomorrow, the next day, and forever as they continued to press light kisses to each other's faces and lips, enjoying the lazy cozy atmosphere of holding and being held.
All the while, Chan, his father's guard, was quick to secure the perimeter along the hotel, putting safeguards in place while giving the lovebirds their space to enjoy their reunion peacefully. His instructions to keep an eye on Kinn did not waver just because Kinn snuck off in the daylight hours with his car, Apo, and their baggage. The young mafia heir was his ward and by default, so was the actor who preserved the young master's heart.
After all, they'd only just started on this journey together and he'd personally see to it that they continued through it, hand-in-hand. It was a promise to Kinn's mother that he'd made a long time ago that when Kinn found the one, Chan would do everything to keep it and them safe.
An underground emperor with jagged swords, sharp claws, and snarling words won over by a pretty little nightingale with expressive eyes, excitable energy, and endless love. Perfect combination.
-Done-
(Next chapter will be an epilogue but thank you for joining me on this journey and giving this fic as much love as I did writing it <3 )