{Kyle POV}
--{•°Time Skip (It's been a week since they took Donnie home)°•}--
Me and Stan sit on the ground ,
In front of our baby 。。
It kinda feels weird that we have a child now , because it happens pretty fast 。。。
"So 。。。
What's your favorite show ?" Stan asked Donnie, trying to break the silence。
"Stanley , he can't say clear words yet 。。。" I tell Stan like he's an idiot。
Donnie starts to chew on his hand , but he doesn't have any teeth yet so he just ends up drooling on it。I carefully take his hand out of his mouth。
"Sweetie , no 。。。You can't eat that。" I tell him。
A couple of seconds later he just puts his hand back in his mouth。
"oh you rebellious little shi--"
"don't call him that !" I interrupt Stan by smacking the back of his head。
"Ba ba wa ba" Donnie starts to blabber , still nawing on his hand。
"Sweet face , No 。。。That's called self canibalism。" I tell Donnie , like he can understand me。
"Hm 。。。Makes me wonder what I taste like 。。。" Stan says, he then starts to chew on his hand。
Donnie sees this and puts his god dam hand back in his mouth again。
"Goddammit Stan see what you did ! ?"
I scold Stan while taking his hand out of his mouth。
I then gently take Donnie's hand out his mouth。
"No , baby 。。。"
I tell Donnie again。"Let's try and teach him some words ?" Stan offers。
I agree with Stan , and we both look at Donnie again。
"Mabey if we just pick a random word and repeatedly say it to him , he'll say it ? Like a parrot !"
I suggest。Stan nods his head at me , signaling he agrees
Stan then took a deep breath。"NI-"
I instantly roughly punched Stan and he fell into the floor, instantly knowing what he was going to say。
"He's just 。。。A fucking 。。。Baby 。。。" I whisper to him harshly。
"Y-yes sir , I'll go with age appropriate 。。。" He says , groaning in pain。
"I'll go with the word 'gender' then, because you have to ask people their gender before you can even talk to them"
Stan says。
"That's a bit rude 。。。But , it is an age appropriate word 。。。" I agree。
Stan then looks at Donnie as he repeatedly started to say the word 'gender' over and over again。
Donnie then looked more closely at Stan and started to lean in , like he was starting to get interested。
"Ge 。。。Ge 。。。" Donnie started to speak up。I instantly leaned in closer in a bit of amazment。
Stan kept on saying 'gender' over and over again even more when he noticed this。
"Ge 。。。Gen 。。。Gen 。。。" Donnie started to speak more , trying to say it。
"Oh my god he's gonna say it , keep going Stan !" I say excitedly。
Stan listened , kept going。
"Gen 。。。Gen 。。。" Donnie kept trying to say it。
both me and Stan leaned in closer , excited to hear out son's first word。
"Gen 。。。Genocide !" Donnie then says happily。
Stan stops saying shit and we both just stare at him , confused and concerned 。。。
That wasn't even a bruh moment what the fuck is actually wrong with him 。。。
"That's my boy !" Stan says to Donnie joyfully and proudly, Donnie laughed a bit。
"Dude , that was probably directed towards you 。。。Cus like , your Jewish and stuff 。。。"
Stan tells me , I just angrily smack the back of his head。
I then look back at Donnie。
"How could I be mad at you 。。。" I say softly while smiling warmly at Donnie。I then pick him up and hug him。
。。。
"You never do that to me 。。。" Stan says in a quiet winy voice as he angrily crosses him arms and pouts。
I sigh and pull Stan into the hug as well。"Don't worry , Stan 。。。You're also my baby 。。。" I say in an annoyed tone of voice。
。。。
No , seriously 。。。Stan literally acts like a big baby all the time 。。。
"Hey , Kyle 。。。We should let Donnie watch Cocomelon while we go upstairs。~" Stan tells me in a seductive tone。
There was a bit of a pause for a second 。。。
I then punch Stan in the face with a force so strong that he flies back a bit as I continue to smile and hug my child。
This is very common basic family stuff ☺。
I then gently set Donnie on the couch and turn on Cocomelon for him on 🤯NETFLIX🤯💪。
Stan sits next to Donnie and watches it with him , wow , Stan might actually be an amazing dad ! !
👁️🫦👁️😘😍🥰💋💋
I then walk into the kitchen to get Donnie his milk 。。。Drink Drink , bitch bitch 。。。🤭
I poured the milk into a baby bottle for Donnie , and screwed the cap back on。
I then walk into the living room with the baby bottle and see Stan on the couch , still watching 。。。
But Donnie isn't there 。。。
"Stanley , where is Donnie ?" I ask Stan , sounding worried 。。。
He then looked at me , "oh , he's up 。。。"
Stan replied 。。。
Up 。。。?
The fuck does he mean by that ? ?
Stan then went back to watching Cocomelon。
I look down in thought for a second 。。。Then it hit me 。。。
I look up , and low and behold 。。。Donnie is crawling on the ceiling 。。。
"w-- WHAT THE FUCK ! ?"
I yell in surprise。
HOW THE FUCK IS DONNIE ON THE FUCKING CEILING ! ! ? ?
WHAT😀THE😀FUCK😀 。。。
"Oh , don't worry 。。。It's a thing for vampires 。。。I did it all the time when I was a baby。"
Stan told me , seeming calm and chill about it。
Nevermind , I take it back , Stan is not a good father 。。。💀
"Do you know how to get him down ? ?" I ask Stan while looking up at Donnie , I start to panic a bit 。。。
{Stan POV}
Oh , look at that 。。。Donnie's on the ceiling , eh , he'll come down eventually 。。。
"He'll come down by himself , don't worry so much 。。。" I respond to Kyle。
Kyle is obviously not going to smack the shit out of me for saying that 。。。💪
I'm sure Donnie will be fine--
"STANLEY 。。。"
Oh shit 。。。?
"RANDELL 。。。"
Ah shit he goin for the full name 。。。
"WILLIAM 。。。"
Welp , I'm fucked 。。。
"MARSH ! ! !"
Kyle finishes yelling my full name is anger。
。。。
Well , it was nice knowing you guys 。。。
Actually , it kinda wasn't tbh 。。。
Quit calling me a pervert in the previous book , it hurts my feelings and I have to cry myself to sleep in Kyle's arms every time I hear that cruel insult 。。。
I definitely care about what some online kids on this platform have to say about me 。。。😔
"YOU WILL GET YOUR SON OFF THE CEILING , RIGHT NOW ! ! OR SO HELP ME GOD I AM GOING TO THROW YOU INTO THAT WALL ! !"
Kyle yelled at me 。。。😭
"Alright , alright I'm sorry , baby 。。。I'm so sorry-- I love you so much 。。。"
I tell Kyle。
Maybe , he'll let me live if I compliment him a lot ! !
I then help my overgrown sperm off the ceiling 。。。
"Y'know Kyle , I love you so much 。。。You're the best husband in the world ,
I would give anything to just kiss you , I really love you so much 。。。"
I tell Kyle with a loving smile。
Kyle then calmed down a bit and smiled。"Aww , Stan ! You're such a sweetheart ! I love you too !"
He replied in a soft tone of voice 。。。
IT WORKED , I'M STILL ALIVE ! ! HEU HEU ! !