Scene 1, Act 1 ; The Return
In which Jenesis returns to the life that she no longer owns.
Jenesis Hammaz never thought far. Prior to the Hunger Games, she had never thought about the future and what it would look like for her. She had no eyes on boys or girls, so marriage was never a thought that she acknowledged. She never thought about going back to school at any point in her life, because school was only free up until a certain point in district four. She just worked, paid the few bills that killed her earnings, made food, and tried to buy her sister and herself whatever she could with the leftover money by the end of the month. If there was enough.
Jenesis never thought about moving out of the house her parents left for her and her sister—unlike most teenagers in four. Who's plans are to immediately move out of their parents house once they turn 19, and maybe live with their significant other. Now that they were free they wanted to exercise their freedom as much as possible.
But maybe Jenesis's perspective on the people her age was unreliable.
The only goal Jenesis had prior to entering the Hunger Games was to not starve, which was easy considering the abundance of fish and her handy skill with a spear, not get reaped—which didn't work out for her or her sister, and to stay above bills— which was killing her mentally and physically.
So she does indeed wonder how she's laying in this giant bed, in this giant house that she now calls hers, with no worries of bills, food, or getting reaped ever again.
Jenesis blankly stared at the dart board above her bed. Who would've thought that the lanky thing she made years ago would be the key to her survival in the arena? That the repetitive action of dully throwing darts would lead to her knowing how to puncture a human in the heart from yards away. The thought alone was crazy, and it was enough to make Jenesis's head spin that even laying down didn't help her.
The silence of the house hugged Jenesis. Tugging her into a deep hole that she would never be able to climb out of.
Give up, Vincent's raspy voice whispered harshly in her ear.
Jenesis squeezed her eyes shut, willingly complying with his demand. After all, how could she not? She hadn't given up when she was in deaths grasps multiple times in the arena. She had used the Gamemakers own traps and set ups to her benefit in order to avoid death and live one more hour. It had cost Vincent his life, something she just only realized days ago as she thought about the white rose she found in odd parts of her house.
I'll go to the depths of hell, she bitterly thought to herself as she opened her eyes. If you asked me to.
There was nothing she could do to make Vincent ever come back. The only man she had in her life after the death of her father, and the suicide of her mother. He was her dad, though she never said it, after all, he had children of his own, but was it wrong? Was she wrong to see the only person who did her no wrongs in her life as a father figure?
No. But in response, she killed him. Maybe she didn't mean it, but she did. Jenesis killed Vincent because of some last minute decisions she had made while fighting to the death.
Jenesis Hammaz, what a sad story she was.
The sound of the front door opening made Jenesis blink. Jasmine wasn't supposed to be home until dinner time, as she was swimming and diving with Cinthia. Who had offered to take her sister out once she saw the stress on Jenesis's face the moment she stepped out of her room, because she had not slept at all.
The front door closed behind whoever stepped inside, and immediately Jenesis was reminded that she didn't lock the door. A recklessness that she performed the last three months only when she was home by herself. For a moment, Jenesis's eyes widened, and the thought to grab a knife and defend herself crossed her mind. The instinct she had that told her whichever sound of nearby human life was dangerous faded as fast as it came. Jenesis closed her eyes again as she listened to the feet climb up the stairs. Whatever they wanted, whether it was a Peacekeeper, someone that had snuck way into the Victors Village, or maybe even a friend of Zayden—the boy from home that she had killed, Jenesis was open to the idea of an attack she would not defend herself from.
I have given up, she responded to Vincent as her room door was opened.
It was silent for a moment, and Jenesis wondered just what weapon her killer was holding. If she opened her eyes would she see the front of a Peacekeepers gun? Maybe a knife? No, maybe they will have a spear or trident in hand. That would make more sense.
I've given up completely, she thought as she opened her eyes.
It was no gun. No spear or trident, hell, not even a knife. It was Finnick Odair with a look of worry on his face that made Jenesis want to commit the act by herself.
Jenesis let out a huff, closing her eyes again.
" I was hoping it's not you."
She could sense the confusion from Finnick as he moved towards her bed, taking a seat beside Jenesis's sprawled out form.
" Jenesis," he mumbled as he placed his warm hand on her knee. " Leaving your door unlocked isn't safe."
Jenesis knew that Finnick could care less about the unlocked door, because he must know that there was no way anyone could enter the gated Village. Not when there was Peacekeepers surrounding the area.
" Who's gonna come?" She lied her way through his worry. " And Jasmines not home. I have nothing to worry about."
Jenesis could already see the frown form on Finnicks face even with her eyes closed.
" Thats not funny Jenesis."
Finally, Jenesis opened her eyes. Her room was much brighter, whether it was Finnicks doing or not, she didn't know.
" Have you ate breakfast?" He asked her. She could see that he was now staring at her from the corner of her eye.
Jenesis stared at the ceiling. This was no surprise. From his presence to his concern, she should've seen it coming. So she shook her head, not wanting to shut Finnick out completely like she has been doing as of recently.
Her answer and honesty seemed to lighten his mood, and he gave her a gentle smile. One that thanked her for answering rather than shaming her for her clear lack of eating that had been showing in her face and stomach recently. While laying down, Jenesis could feel her rib bones outlining themselves on the surface of her skin. If she could feel it, Jenesis didn't even want to look down to see how it really looked.
She wondered if Finnick was disgusted. She wouldn't care, but she couldn't help but wonder what was going through his mind whenever he saw her pathetic state and drowsy face everyday. Maybe he was regretting putting all of the time and effort into bringing her home if this is what she would become after the games. She was the first tribute that he has had come home since his own games, and this is what she had to offer.
Maybe Zayden was the better Tribute, Vincent's voice spoke in her head.
Jenesis's couldn't help the tears that glossed her eyes over. " Maybe he was." She whispered.
That seemed to be Finnicks last straw as he began to shake her. Clearly wanting to end whatever dialogue that was going on in her head. Jenesis slowly sat up, feeling the intense ache in her stomach as she inhaled softly.
" Why don't we go over to Mags?" Finnick asked with a gentle smile on his face.
He knew better than to question her behavior.
Finally, in what felt like months, she looked at him. Really looked at him.
It's been almost 4 months since Jenesis's return from the Hunger Games, and it seems as if she's not the only one that has underwent changes. The shine that Finnick carry's around with him has dimmed down since he's returned from his mentor duties. Physically, Jenesis could tell that he hasn't been outside basking in the never ending sun of District Four as of lately. She's aware that he's been spending his time at Mags house, and lurking in and out of Jenesis's new home to try and coax the new Victor into outside activities.
These days, Jenesis even found it hard to sit on the shoreline and draw. She couldn't bare to pick up a pencil and finish her drawing.
She hates to admit it but Jenesis is aware that she's the reason behind Finnicks sudden stress. The bags under his eye are because of her and her incompetence to accept that this is who she is, and what she must live with. Jenesis was much more easier to be around the first two months of her return. She was desperate to forget what she went through in the arena. The horrors she seen and the acts she committed.
She was open and eager to fish with a trident with Finnick all day because that's what he and his dad used to do. She was open to eating fried catfish everyday with different sides at Mags house because that's what Finnick and Mags do together. She was open to try and meet the other victors like Alexis Reed, the only other female Victor besides herself and Mags, because that's what Finnick suggested.
But it seemed like no matter how much fish she caught with the trident, how much fried catfish she ate at a lively dinner table, and how social she tried to be going house to house for each Victor, she still couldn't forget. She couldn't forget the logs piercing through Treyvon, the the veins on Imani's legs, the sound of flesh squelching every time she punctured through feeble skin, and the sound of Slater being chewed in half as if he was dinner to a starved family.
So she gave up.
Jenesis decided that it was all pointless, and she could see how that too affected Finnick.
Jenesis pretended not to notice Finnicks out stretched hand as she rose to stand from her bed. Jenesis didn't even bother glancing in the mirror to see her appearance, because she hadn't looked in one in nearly two months. Instead, she stiffly looked down at her light washed denim shorts and the tank top that she wore on top.
From her view, she could see the deep crevices of the ribs and boneless muscles on her stomach from the lack of food. Jenesis looked sickly. Worst than she did before she left for the games. No mirror had to tell her that, and she knew that.
" I think you're good to go." Finnick said lightly as he rubbed her shoulder.
Jenesis shivered at his touch, and almost immediately his hand was retracting from her shoulder.
Finnick was too good for her. Too gentle for her. Her rigid muscles, and cold heart did not deserve the touch of such warm hands. Not the hands of Finnick at least.
Jenesis smoothed a hand over her hair, ensuring that the low bun she tied was still in tact. When she felt that it was, she sighed, allowing her eyes to meet with Finnicks.
" Well, take me there."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~•~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
" Mags will be happy to see you." Finnick said as he opened the door to Mags house.
Jenesis ignored his positive comment. Instead thinking of the fact that he had called her out for leaving her door unlocked, but poor old Mags had done the same and he felt completely fine with that. Something in her mind urged her to make commentary about it, but Jenesis's heart contracted the moment her mouth opened to speak. Successfully ending what she knew would've been horrible.
" She should be in the kitchen." He continued. Walking in as if he owned the place and encouraging her to follow.
Jenesis remembered how homey Mags home was the moment she stepped in.
After years of living, Jenesis shouldn't be too surprised that the women had been able to turn the house into such a cozy district four environment. She wasn't looking at the capitals house—not with the fishnets dangling around, the bright coral reefs, the humidifiers of sea salt that Mags seemed to love the scent of—she was looking at Mag Flanagan's house.
Could never be me, Jenesis thought as she entered the kitchen.
" Mags!" Finnick called. " Jenesis is here!"
Jenesis cringed at the volume of Finnicks voice echoing through the house, and as he opened his mouth to yell again, she quickly interjected.
" I think she heard you." She grimaced.
Finnick turned to look at her, and Jenesis thought for a moment that maybe he would express anger or slight annoyance that everything she was saying to him was straight snarky, and uncalled for. But she was greatly wrong, he had a silly smile on his face.
How pleasant.
Jenesis heard the faint sound of footsteps from behind her and swiftly turned around. Her eyes welcomed by the gentle sight of Mags.
It was as if the moment Mags laid her eyes on her, she smiled. A warm and slightly crinkly smile that warmed Jenesis in a way that she knew the feeling would disappear in soon time.
" Jenesis," she mumbled softly as she walked her way over to her. " It's so nice seeing you."
The warmth of Mags hand made the tension of the frown in Jenesis's face relax. Swiftly, her expression changed from stiff and slightly irritated to soft and longing. For what? She wasn't sure.
" Nice to be here to." She curtly responded.
Mags gave her cheek a slight pat, as if telling her to keep the smile as she walked past her—probably to Finnick.
Jenesis obeyed, only letting it drop till the swell in her cheek wasn't so painful.
She turned around as Mags greeted Finnick with a kiss on the cheek, and she watched as the boy smiled and nodded at her. It was clear that this was not the first time he had seen Mags today, but maybe it wasn't as early as Jenesis thought.
Watching the interaction, Jenesis pressed her lips together, finally letting the smile fade but keeping a small amount of happiness behind her eyes as she looked around. Nothing about Mags house was different. It was still so warm, with cushions everywhere, and a humidifier every 15 steps to scent the place to her liking. She had fishnets and paintings that emitted calmness throughout her house. There was sunlight and white blinds peeking through the home, with some cushions having wild colors like blue, white, yellow, and orange amongst the chairs.
If Jenesis recalls right, this is exactly how her mom wished to decorate her home. Wild colors to mesh with the blue and white they had around their small house.
It's unfortunate how that turned out.
" I'm making apple crumble muffins and fruit bowls for breakfast." Mags mumbled to the both of them as she made her way back to the kitchen.
Jenesis felt her stomach twist uncomfortably at the mention of the food she used to comfortably eat at Mags house. Muffins, fish, shrimp, stews, soups, rice, fish, breads, Mags made everything, and Jenesis has been eating nothing the past while.
" Thats great!" Finnick said happily as he stared at the big bowl of batter on Mags counter. " Do you need our help?"
Jenesis shot him a subtle glance. She had no problem helping Mags cook, like she used to not too long ago. But right now, he was pushing it. Jenesis barely wanted to leave her house, her room. Why would she want to wash fruit, cut fruit, and place the crumble on the bottom and top of muffins?
" No, no," Mags denied. " Take Jenesis to the hammock while I finish up. It'll be quicker."
Jenesis let out a gentle breath as she slowly lifted her eyes to meet Finnicks. " Okay."
With a small nod, Finnick held out his hand as he glanced at the side door to Mags backyard.
Jenesis stared at his hands. The top Finnick was wearing showed his arms, veins lining the limb, and muscles curving and hugging the length. His hand had no scars—odd for someone that wielded a trident all his life, but Jenesis concluded it must be the work of the capital. She lowered her gaze at his outstretched arm. She was hesitating to take his hand, but she had at some point let him place his hand on her thigh, kiss her till her lips were swollen with bliss, and give her hugs and rubs of comfort. Had she had no dignity before going into the games? Or was she just accepting death and open to do anything before she met her end?
" I won't bite." He urged, the hand still wide open for her.
Jenesis swallowed down whatever hate she had suddenly conjured up in herself in the last minute and took his hand.
She could feel his whole body relax as she began to follow him to the door.
His hands are warm, she thought. So warm.
The sunlight hit Jenesis hard. The backyard wide and spacious, and the light slamming onto her cold skin and melting in with her eyes. It felt good. To feel the hot sun of district four beating down onto her back, face, neck, and spilling down her legs that she felt the need to separate them. The sun was amazing. Truly it was. Her home was amazing.
" Almost forgot what this felt like." She found herself speaking as she looked up with closed eyes. " Reminds me of when I was on the docks, or trading fish for money on hot days when my shift was over or hadn't started."
She wasn't sure what made her speak. Maybe it was the sun? Or the sudden comfort being alone with the sun and Finnick had brought her.
Maybe it was just the former.
" That's what I love about our home." Finnick mumbled. " I would stay in the sun forever if I could."
Jenesis found her response coming in quickly.
" I know you would. That's why you're always sun burnt."
Finnick laughed, loud and heartfelt as he stared at the side of Jenesis's face. " Yeah, and is that why you carry that useless bottle of sunscreen?"
" Useless?" She mused. " It's actually very helpful, and you know that."
Finnicks shook his head, flopping his way into the hammock with no regard to make space for Jenesis or ask if she wanted to lay down.
" You didn't even pick up your first bottle of sunscreen until 4 months ago."
The words seemed to hit him faster than it hit her. Because almost immediately Finnick was apologizing for the insensitive comment that laced sarcasm, and dark humor that was too early to joke with.
" I'm so sorry—"
Jenesis winced as she shook her head. " It's fine."
The regretful look on Finnick's face seemed to be intensifying as each second passed by. It was the look of pity when you spoke to someone who can't take a joke, or is too sensitive to receive jokes.
When had that become Jenesis?
She was the one that made the jokes and cheesy responses certain to wet a pillow at night, and she dished them to people who like a waitress at a bar. How had she become the one that can't take the joke?
She forced herself to shake her head, shaking off the truth of the comment. The capital wins with their advanced skin care, and bottles that explained their reasoning with precision all while still looking pretty.
" You're wrong." She replied with the faintest of amusement dancing around in her eyes.
" My mom actually used to make us wear it all the time."
Jenesis always wins.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~•~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The muffins were great, and Jenesis wasn't surprised when Mags was forcing her to leave with a box of 8 out of the many she made. She actually saw it coming. The breakfast table was buzzed by Finnick's never ending stories, and his ability to keep all conversations going, and know when to end one when it either fell short or got too intense. Unfortunately, that was for the capital people, who couldn't take a hint when they were boring someone out. At the table though, Finnick hung onto every word that Mags or Jenesis said, and genuinely made something out of it. The confidence to do this seemed to come from Jenesis's one time engage to keep a conversation flowing not too long ago.
So here Jenesis was, carrying a box of apple crumble muffins back to her house—which wasn't too far, accompanied by herself and her never ending thoughts.
It had taken a good five minutes for Jenesis to convince Finnick that she was more than capable of walking a distance of a minimum of 50 steps and coming back. Finnick was annoyingly persistent to what started off as "do it for her", to than "accompany her". Jenesis didn't need company for a five minute journey, and Finnick didn't seem to understand that.
She wishes to have alone time with herself and her thoughts, despite how toxic they may be. Jenesis wanted to walk with a frown on her face, and talk to herself for five minutes, all while having someone not question her well being or try to district her.
Finnick Odair practically existed in her life to do that.
So with the help of Mags pitching a word in for her, Finnick eventually gave up. Accepting that Jenesis didn't need help, and seriously taking the comment she made about coming to get her if she wasn't back in five minutes.
Jenesis grumbled to herself as she made way to her kitchen to drop off the box. She could practically see the excitement on Jasmines face when she realized that Mags muffins were back, and she could go back to having one every night. No matter how fattening and unhealthy it might've sounded, Jenesis never tried to sway Jasmine away from food these days. Not when she spent the last almost four years of her life hungry and barely getting by. Eating small portions that Jenesis hoped she would get used to having.
That's something I got out of it, she thought to herself as she placed the box down where she always used to put them. Jasmine can eat as much as she wants. She'll grow to have more weight on her than me one day.
At some point in time, when Jenesis wasn't sure if she would be alive in a month, she had ate to her hearts desire 3 times a day. Successfully eating more than her baby sister had in the last 3 years in the span of a week. Even in the games, Jenesis truly never experienced starvation.
Does she even need me?
The question wasn't foreign to Jenesis anymore. There has been multiple times where she questioned her importance to Jasmine. She spent a good amount of time with her sister when she wasn't alone. She no longer followed her to the beach while she fished for hours, trying to catch a variety of game before the sailors light signaled for departure. She didn't need to wait on Jenesis to make dinner and catch them fish to cook and eat everyday. She had Mags to cook for her if all went wrong, and she also had Cinthia's middle class pockets to make her lunch like she did when Jenesis was in the games.
Jamsine didn't need Jenesis. Not anymore at least.
And Jenesis allowed that to bring her great comfort.
Her eyes darted over to the cabinet that she had yet to open like many others in the kitchen. The one that was in such an unlikely place that no one would ever bother too stumble across if looking for any kitchen supplies or food.
Her throat began to close, and her stomach began to knot and twist underneath her tank top. There was a burn in her eyes and throat that she knew was coming from the wave of tears that was about to hit her. It was the feeling she felt when she was about to have a mental break down, and a panic attack that involved pressing her hand against her mouth, and screwing her eyes shut.
No one needs you, Vincent's voice rang in her head. Not anymore.
Jenesis's throat closed as her shoulders began to shake, but she quickly inhaled a breath of air to keep the tears at bay. Her face had crumbled to one of distress as she realized how right Vincent was. No one needed her to keep living. Even if Jasmine lost the house, Cinthia was stable enough to take care of her, and Mags could make her food once in a while. No one actually needed Jenesis around, she didn't provide anything that anyone would miss if she was to not wake up tomorrow.
Her eyes found the liquor filled cabinet again, and she quickly inhaled sharply when her throat began to burn for something else.
She likes to tell herself she wasn't completely conscious the day she bought the liquor, but she knows that's a lie. Because Jenesis remembers picking the cabinet to place the liquor in, and purposely choosing one no one would bother looking in.
Jenesis's feet began to move before she could even stop herself. She bent and twisted herself to dig her way into one of the many bottles she had placed in the cabinet. This one was a fat and round one at the base, and as far as she was concerned it was filled with brown liquid. It must be strong.
No one needs you. His voice was so sharp in her mind. Go ahead, drink it all.
I'll condemn myself to hell if you asked me to, Jenesis thought to herself as she attempted to open the bottle. Her arm strength was weak, and always has been. She was not surprised that she was struggling to open the bottle.
Tears threatened to stream down her face as her eyes blurred intensely. How much would she need to take to feel calm but in control? Was this the right type to take for that? Jenesis didn't think so, especially because she wasn't familiar with the brown liquid. But with the way she was feeling, it was too late to dig out another bottle and begin to struggle on that one too.
The sound of the front door opening was so surprising that Jenesis jumped at the sound.
She had scurried immediately to put the bottle away and back to cabinet. She slammed it shut and swiftly moved back over to where the muffins sat as footsteps moved in on the kitchen. The tightness in her chest continued intensely as silence followed upon Finnick's arrival.
She should've known. He was being completely serious when he agreed to coming to get her in five minutes. Jenesis almost hated him for a second. Why couldn't he mind his business? Leave her be for two seconds. So what if she wasn't back in five minutes? Was she a little girl that needed to be monitored?
Jenesis opened her mouth to speak but quickly closed it. Her throat was still tight and she was sure her voice would give in on her if she tried anything. She glanced at the stove time from the corner of her eyes, and she almost cursed when she saw it's been nearly 11 minutes since she left Mags house.
She leaned over the muffins and let out a shaky breath, feeling Finnick's stare intensely burning into her side profile.
You've done it. His damned voice spoke in her head. You're back to square one with him. You couldn't even drop of muffins and come back in five minutes.
Jenesis slightly sniffled. The frustration from her realization that know one needed her, to her fail to get alcohol, and now to this, it was shitty. All of it was shitty.
" I guess I wasn't back in 5 minutes huh," she said softly as she shook her head.
Jenesis hoped she didn't sound as pathetic and she looked as she connected eyes with Finnick. " I got caught up in my thoughts a bit longer than I would've liked."
" Jenesis," was all Finnick said.
So softly and breathlessly, as if he knew everything though he was presented with nothing.
There it was. The look of concern and stress all over his face.
You did that.
Jenesis looked away from him quickly. Long gone was the boy that laughed and smiled the whole breakfast, talking as if he was being handed topics from a machine. And whose fault was it? Jenesis's.
" Come with me." There it was. The non judgmental words, and persistent comfort.
If it was so annoying, why didn't Jenesis just say something? Now is her chance to tell Finnick Odair that she doesn't care about him or anyone. That she wants to be alone with her thoughts. This was her moment to tell him that she wants to drown in liquor and water. Stick her head inside a water filled bucket; where her instincts to come up would vanish, and the gargled and echoing thoughts in her mind would urge her to keep her head under for even longer.
Now is her chance to tell him that she rather have the comfort of never ending alcohol than see his stupid, corny smiles, soft non judgmental eyes, and welcoming spirit again. Jenesis stared at his hands as the words danced around in her brain, sending signals to her tongue to speak and voice what she oh so badly wanted to say.
Her brain was currently fighting with the muscle to unleash the words, but Jenesis felt her heart fight back tenfold.
She should say it.
Tell him to go away, and all the others too. Vincent's voice will one day damn Jenesis to hell. Bring out the bottle in front of him and tell him what you really planned to do.
It was stupid how Jenesis walked to Finnick. Not needing an outstretched hand to guide her to the right path because she already knew where it was.
Her heart had won the battle.
Next Chapter ; The Victors Life
She Speaks.
OUUUUU! I'm so excited for this chapter omg. I'm actually so proud with how I wrote this whole thing. But let's not talk about me. Let's talk about Ms girl Jenesis. She's back and not strong.
Girls going through so much she honestly deserves the biggest hug ever.
The one person that she actually loved and the only adult figure in her life that gave her reasoning and purpose, is now not only dead but has become her voice of destruction. Does Vincent hate Jenesis? No. Not a chance at all.
But that's what the games do. They mess you up.
Anyways, y'all see how Finnick is hated and loved by Jenesis. But we see that she doesn't. Jenesis is not thinking of the L word with Finnick yet so let's not get our hopes up lol.
I robbed you guys a bit from the Finnick and Jenesis fluff in the first book so y'all will get it in this one. But it will be a SLOW burn. It will burn honey. We're all gonna love Finnick and Jenesis because I intended to take my time with them and their relationship, and not rush into Catching Fire just yet. We're gonna know their dynamic like the back of our hand!!
Anywho, see ya!
Comment, vote, and share!❤️❤️
Word Count ; 5,371