I opened my phone in the doctor's waiting room.
Hesitant, but I knew I had to, the place was full and I was told it would be another half an hour yet, I really didn't want my mind pondering like it had throughout the past week, so I just typed in the goddamn number and let it ring.
After the fourth ring,
"Hello?"
His soft voice crackled through the phone.
"Hey." was all I replied with.
"K-Khrystina?"
"Yeah."
"Why are you calling me?"
I couldn't believe it, he wasn't hanging up. I mean, this wasn't exactly a great start, but it was better than what I had expected, we hadn't been together for about a week now, hadn't talked in a week, I'd been alone for a week. He obviously wasn't thinking about coming back this time.
"I have to tell you something."
"What?"
He sounded frustrated.
"I... Uh..."
"Quick... Just tell me."
"What's the rush, are you in the middle of a screwing session or something with one of your beloved hoes?!"
An elder couple with their pregnant daughter with two playing children all looked up at me.
I shook it off, trying to concentrate on the conversation.
He just huffed angrily.
"Just-- tell me whatever it was you wanted to tell me."
"I um...I t-took a pregnancy test... a-and it came back positive."
There was a really, really, agonising silence.
"What? Are you saying that y-you're pregnant?!" His voice got louder.
"Yes." I said quietly.
"With my kid?"
"Yes.." I fiddled with my fingers, holding the phone with my shoulder as I leant on the arm rest with my elbow.
"I thought you were on the pill?"
"Jayden, don't you dare blame me for this, I swear, you know I stopped taking that months ago, I told you." I lifted my head up.
"No you didn't?" He was cranky, really cranky.
Oh shit.
"I'm pretty sure I know what I did. You know I said it, because we had a whole conversation about it, or have you conveniently forgotten about that too?"
"Don't blame me, it's not my fault!"
"Actually, it is, but okay." I rolled my eyes.
"Where are you?"
"Obstetrician. My appointment is in half an hour."
"You're there without me?"
"Jayden, I only found out a week ago!"
"Yet you tell me now?!"
"You were obviously still going to be mad! Don't blame me please! I'm the one that's going to have to deal with this, as if you're going to help me, come on, we both know that."
"I am. I'm just processing right now. I'll be there in 15 minutes though okay?"
"Wait- you're really coming?"
'Yes... I think I should?"
I bit my tongue,
"Thank you." I said softly.
I waited 25 minutes, still no Jayden.
When he ran into the door, still in his work clothes.
"Were you at work?" I got up staring at his paint-stained clothes.
"Yeah, sorry, I couldn't get out."
"Pfft. As if, you're always late anyway. Doubt your boss would truly be bothered."
He just glared at me as we sat down.
"Atleast I'm trying." He whispered into my ear, looking at me intently.
I just nodded, trying my best not to look into his eyes, I couldn't.
I was humiliated.
We waited in silence until the Obstetrician came out to greet us with my name.
"Khrystina Singe?"
"Yes!" I shook my head a little as I was shattered out of my thoughts. I nodded and stood up, not thinking to look back at Jayden, who was right behind me, almost too close.
We entered a room, to be greeted by an unpleasant detergent-like smell.
We sat down upon invitation, as I waited impatiently for the damn guy to start speaking. Jayden... not so much.
"So, Khrystina, you are now 5 weeks pregnant, yes?" He looked up from his stapled papers.
"I think so? I didn't get my period on the 25th when I was meant to, so I took a pregnancy test, and... I don't know... D-does that really make it 5 weeks?!"
"Yes, it does." He smiled happily.
"Yay!" Jayden leaned back in the chair as he spoke sarcastically.
I glared at him as he smiled to himself, I looked to the doctor for potential support, and he gave me a very sympathetic look, it really touched me, almost as if he had experienced it himself.
Which probably wouldn't have been the case, but I enjoyed the understanding anyway.
"What's your name, sir?" He asked Jayden.
"Jayden." He smiled.
"Ah, okay, so you're the father, yes?"
"Mhm..." He nodded, before opening his mouth again to prevent the doctor almost answering.. "Well, I'm not too sure, God knows what she gets up to." He pointed his thumb at me as he leant forward again.
I frowned, opening my mouth to say something, but I couldn't find any words without being extremely impolite.
The Obstetrician nodded at me, and said directly to Jayden, "Well, possible-father-Jayden, may you please step out for a minute, unless it is to be Miss Singe's best wishes for you to stay, as I need to run some tests."
"Sure, I don't like blood anyway."
We both looked at him oddly as he stood up and walked out, there wouldn't be any blood involved.
But, then again how was he supposed to know.
"So, sweetheart, how have you been feeling so far?"
'Well... I'm really scared, and confused, and... alone." I looked down, saying it as if I'd just realised.
"Yes, I have plenty of patients who are experiencing what you are, and not many of the fathers are very supportive... proof?" He pointed to the door.
I laughed a little as I looked up, admiring the doctor I knew I could now trust.
"I'm the youth case. I work with people like you, or teenage years, et cetera."
I just nodded, taking in information.
"What about physically? How have you been feeling physically?"
"Nausea, a lot, actually."
"Morning sickness." He nodded smiling, looking down at some papers.
"No, but, no, I get it all day!"
He chuckled almost, "Yep, most morning sicknesses do last all day. Morning sickness doesn't mean just 'morning' sickness."
"Oh. Interesting." I frowned curiously while I looked at the ground, processing the new information.
"You'll be okay. Everything seems to be fine at this point, is there anything else you're worried about that you'd like to tell me?"
"No, not that I can think of. But it's early I guess so..."
"Yes, yes, you're on the right track."
"I'm just very confused about where to go, and who to talk to, what to do in general." I shook my head.
"Well I'll go get you a few papers about some information, and I'll show you about pregnancy groups, whatever you need, this isn't meant to be difficult-atleast, not until the day you give birth." He smiled at me reassuringly.
I smiled back, exhaling deeply.
"So, you are... twenty?!" He sounded astonished.
"Yes?" I nervously laughed.
"You don't look twenty, I can assure you that, not to worry, no need to be scared." He smiled again. I must have sounded frightened.
I was so glad he wasn't judging me.
He stood up, opening the door. I heard some mumbling and Jayden came back in, sitting down.
"He's gone to get information or something?" Jayden turned to me.
"Yeah." I looked down at my fingernails.
"I'm sorry about what I said earlier, I'm just... stressed."
"You're stressed?" I said quietly.
"Yes. Not only the 'mother gets stressed' you know." He was looking at me, but my eyes wouldn't budge.
"Well, you haven't really given way that you've noticed how I'm feeling."
"I care about you, Kryssie. But this isn't what I wanted; I never thought this would happen. What are my parents going to say?" He said to me, starting to talk to himself as he ended the sentence.
"What did yours say?" He looked at me.
"Nothing. Cause I haven't told them."
"Why?"
"Haven't seen them."
"When will you?"
"When I go home?"
"When will that be?"
"I don't know."
"Why not?"
"Can you just, stop asking so many questions?!"
"Okay. Sorry." He sat back in his seat.
We sat in silence until the doctor came back. He handed me a bunch of cards and brochures. On the top was his name and number on a business card. "Thank you." I smiled as I looked at them.
"So we have some more appointments to make, but once they're up, you'll get to choose a better, more private Obstetrician. They'll most likely be a woman, maybe even a midwife also. That would be extremely convenient for you; I'd recommend that without question. And once you've done that they'll stay with you until birth. They'll help you sort out your birth plan, and is usually the one who births your baby. You will need to think about it, but I can help." He smiled.
This was so much more complicated than what I thought.
"Okay", I nodded, trying to act like I was following, which I kind of wasn't.
"Will I be in the delivery room?" Jayden asked out of nowhere.
"Well, that's for you and Khrystina to talk about, but in the modern hospitals, that's basically what will go down." He nodded politely to us both.
Jayden smiled to himself. That smiled he desperately tried to hide, but everyone in the room could see it.
I giggled, as Jayden looked up and went red, noticing we could see him smiling, like an idiot.
I smiled evilly to myself, whatta' kid.
We were dismissed of the appointment just as the inside giggles were growing.
Once I signed my name on the usual piece of paper, I walked out, Jayden following behind, looking a lot more relaxed. We walked to my car, and hopped in.
"W-wait, where's your car?" I asked him.
"Oh, well, I thought you could give me a ride, I got a mate to drop me off and, yeah." he smiled awkwardly at me.
"Oh, um, okay." It took me a minute to start up the car, I wasn't sure where I was going to next.
"Are we going to your parents?"
"No, no! Not yet, I'm not ready."
"Oh. Okay. My house then?"
"Sure." I shook my head, still secretly unsure.
I started up the car properly and drove out of the car park, onto the main road, linking a beeline to Jayden's.
The car was silent for a couple of minutes, only the slight hum of the radio creating a less awkward barrier between us, not saying it was at all awkward. Note the sarcasm.
"Are... Are we going to tell... Your parents?" I looked to Jayden.
"No." He shook his head, looking out the window.
"Why not?"
"Because, I don't know what they'll say."
"It couldn't be worse than what mine would." I sharpened my eyes on the road, pouting slightly.
"It could." He exhaled.
"When are you going to tell yours?" He asked.
"I... I don't know."
"Well, they'll have to find out sooner or later."
"So will yours?" I raised my eyebrows, glancing at him.
He was silent for a moment, but I knew that face, he was pondering on a question.
"Say, Khrys. Did you ever consider abortion?"
"Are you kidding me?!" I looked at him, almost slamming my foot on the breaks, right on the highway.
"Do you even know me? A-are you looking at me right now?! A-are you... Are you serious, I-I." I stuttered, "Look at me, Jayden. I'm a Vegan, I follow Hippie church groups, hell, I've even ran out naked in a medow once." I shook my head.
"Wow, I... I didn't need to know that." He acted repulsed, I was pretty sure he was kidding. "But Vegan? Khrys, please, your favourite food is cheese?"
"Besides cheese! Don't bring innocent cheese into this!"
All he did was laugh at me.
"There is no way, in all the heavens and Earth, that I would ever, even consider, abortion."
"Eh, it's not that bad, I mean, swap two letters it's almost adoption. But without the pain." He looked at me, smiling.
I wasn't sure if he was joking or not.
"Are you joking... Or?"
He cacked a big laugh before, "Of course I'm joking!"
I just shook my head at the boy, he had managed to grow a smile on my face. Even if it was a disgusting joke.
Before long we reached his house. I parked into the drive way, turning off the ignition.
I looked to him.
"Ready?" He asked.
"Nope." I shook my head no.
"Come on... It's not that bad. We'll just pretend we're back together again. It'll be fine."
"Fine? It will be... Fine? How can it, look at me, I'm a mess, your mum will surely know something's up."
"Come on... This is the longest we've ever been apart, of course you're gonna be shaken up, she'll just assume you're taking it all in again."
"So... You're saying... I am a mess?!"
He just frowned at me and muttered as he hopped out of the car, "Girls are so confusing."