𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 19: Part of the plan
When you look at my past,
I need you to understand it
Wasn't part of my plan
Omniscient
Los Angeles, 𝐂𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐚
August 5th, 3:21 pm
❣︎
"Aight, come inside with me to get ya sister. Ion want you in this car alone, so get out." Syre nodded his head towards the back passenger side door for Xyden to hop out of, while he raised his body from the drivers side.
He would have been okay with his son staying in the car, if he didn't know he was a target anywhere he went. And although all his cars were completely bulletproof, he wouldn't even want to traumatize his kids by being in any type of situation like that. He barely liked being in public with them for that reason, and not because he himself was scared of anyone, but simply for the sake of them.
He stood to allow Xyden to walk ahead of him towards the big building of gymnastics and dance. They had her in both because she enjoyed both a lot, and conveniently, they ran in the same black-owned building.
"You ever been here before?" He asked Xyden, who quickly shook his head no.
"Unt unt, only her performances." He responded to Syre who raised an eyebrow at the new information.
"Who was making sure y'all seen each other while I was locked up?"
"Remi." Shaking his head, Syre didn't know how to repay his cousin half the time for all of what he did. Out of all his family, Remi was always who he was so much more close with because he was just levelheaded and mature.
He didn't pump fake about anything, didn't force anything, he just did him and kept calm most of the time. That's why he was so shocked to find out him and Kimora were together when their relationship first started, because they're polar opposites. But opposites do attract, cause for the most part, it was the same for him and Amerie. She was the sweetheart and he was...him.
He let Xyden lead up to where they needed to be to sign Malani out from the dance class she was in. He'd never actually seen her do either of the things she did in person, because it was always Veronica who dropped her and picked her up and he'd only seen videos of her recitals.
"Hello, are you checking someone in or picking someone up?" Syre's face twisted up, hearing the squeaky voice of the receptionist who stood behind the front desk.
"Picking up." He mumbled, watching her type some stuff in. "Malani Acius." He informed what he knew was coming as the next question.
The woman typed something in again, with the smile on her pale face remaining. "I always thought it was pronounced Melanie." She giggled, despite Syre's lack of expression or enthusiasm. He instead felt an immediate wave of irritation with the longer he had to stand across from the woman, especially now knowing she was dumb.
"It's Muh-lani." He sounded out in annoyance at the fact he already said what her name was, and him and Amerie spelled it the way they did to make the pronunciation simple.
The woman nodded, typing the name into the computer until she seen his name on the pickup list. "You can go right on in, they're just finishing up." She instructed to Syre who let Xyden go first.
They went over by where the other parents were, most of them consisting of mothers bringing Syre to stand over in a corner with Xyden in front of him. He stared through the window until his eyes spotted Malani who was the smallest one in her advanced group, but her size definitely didn't reflect her skill level because from what Syre could see, she was really good.
"When ya AAU tournament? And where so we can fly down, maybe bring Lani and ya cousins." He spoke down to his son who occupied himself on his phone.
"In October the week before Halloween, and it's in Las Vegas." He glanced up towards his dad who nodded with his eyes still looking through the big window to his daughter. He watched Malani dance around looking so focused, resembling him scarily in that moment.
He adjusted his hat before putting his focus back down on Xyden. "You tryna spend Halloween out there, or y'all do the trick or treating thing?" He asked his son, fixing the diamond chain around the boys neck.
"I want to go trick or treating, but we can do it out there ion care." He shrugged.
Nodding, Syre only wrapped his arm around the front of his son to pull him back so he stood closer to him. He didn't feel comfortable in the space they had to stand in because they were surrounded by people he didn't know and never seen before.
"So are you Malani's father?" A light skinned woman leant over to speak to Syre, whose head snapped in her direction. He stared at her blankly for a minute, allowing his eyes to scan along her face slowly to make note of who exactly he was speaking to.
She was tall, maybe 3-4 inches shorter than him. Her straightened hair was pulled back into a high ponytail, showing off her strong facial structure. She was pretty, but not someone he'd go for. Especially because he wasn't interested in going for anyone new right about now.
"Mhmm." He hummed dismissively, hoping she got the hint he didn't want to talk but she didn't, much to his dismay.
"Wow, I always see Amerie here thinking she looked like her mom. But she resembles you so much, she's good friends with my daughter." The woman pointed out her daughter who danced next to Malani, despite Syre not asking once.
But with the longer he looked to the little girl that the woman pointed at, he could feel his face hardening even more. She resembled Leon scarily, and she looked to be older than Malani by at least a year or two which would add things up perfectly.
His eyes blinked back over to the woman who he was starting to recognize. He never forgot faces, and he vividly remembered seeing her the one time he sat in the car after dropping Leon to see his daughter one time. She didn't see him because his windows were tinted, but he knew he seen her step out on the porch to greet his old friend that one time.
His mind began to turn with all types of different theories circling through his head. His lips sealed shut to assist his mind that moved in its lonesome, allowing for him to just think until the voice of his daughter brought him back down to reality.
"Brudda!" She greeted Xyden first with her arms extended wide. Syre watched his kids hug each other, before Malani put her attention on him. "Dada!" She jumped excitedly, straight into his arms for him to lift her to hold.
"Hey mama, you had fun today?" He smiled, as if he hadn't had anything else on his mind. "Go head Xy." He nodded in the direction they came originally for his son to lead them out.
"Mhmm, fun." She smiled as she laid her head along her fathers shoulder.
Syre didn't pay any mind to, or make contact with anyone else in the building. But he couldn't leave without his head turning back to just get one last glance at the woman who occupied herself with the little girl. He engraved a mental note of her in his mind, before grabbing the door from Xyden to walk out himself.
He let his son get in the car on his side, while lowering Malani down into her car seat. She let him strap her in as her eyes focused in on her brother who was playing games on the iPad he held.
"I play?" She pointed, opening and closing her hand to indicate she wanted the iPad.
Syre's eyes blinked up towards his son who threw his head back in annoyance. "No, you got your own." He placed her pink iPad in her lap, but she immediately pushed it off to hold her hand out towards Xyden's again.
"Want! Gimme-."
"Malani, use ya own." Syre grabbed her iPad again, once she was secure, to put in her lap. But it only made way for the tantrum she started up with. He watched her kick her feet and begin to cry almost on command, her arms flailing wildly towards her brother who she couldn't reach from her body being strapped into her carseat.
"Wantttttttt-."
"Bro shut up, you're so annoying!" Xyden leant back in annoyance as he grabbed his AirPods to connect to his iPad. Shaking his head, Syre shut the door to let her continue on screaming.
He pulled his door open to climb in the drivers seat, immediately starting the car and turning the music up to blast out Malani's cries and screams. It was his solution every time, him and Amerie knew better than to give her attention because eventually, she realized nobody cared and she died it down.
Syre sped off, driving straight towards Isabelle's house where he was dropping Xyden off. His head bopped to the music that he eventually turned down once he seen Malani fast asleep in her car seat after tiring herself out through her tantrum.
His eyes scanned along the streets of LA, watching all of the people who filled the streets through the dark tint of his windows. He locked in on the families specifically, everyone who walked around looking like their lives were on top of the world.
It amazed him how he could look at all of those people, and know without a doubt he was doing better than them all. Materialistically. He had everything, the world in his palm and yet he lacked something he bet most of them had. Happiness and security.
That teenager who only had his eyes set out on money and power would never have been able to guess over a decade later, with all of that now in his palm, he still had nothing. Or that's what it felt like, because in the end, none of that mattered when all that financial security didn't stabilize his fucked up mental space.
His eyes looked through the rear view mirror at his kids who sat in the back seat absentmindedly. He fought with himself daily, trying to make sense of how they seen him as one of the most important people in their lives after every mistake and all the things he'd done. He had those two little people to live for and make proud if nobody else, and he had many doubts in his mind he'd barely even be able to do that.
"Man" He whispered out, rubbing his hand along his forehead in pure exhaustion.
Exhausted and tired of just everything, it was like things were never ending. And he dealt with it all silently and in his head, because he completely pushed away the only person he ever felt comfortable confiding in. The only one who always just understood before he even had to open his mouth to speak, no matter the situation.
His eyes landing on Isabelle's house in front of his car that sat in her driveway froze all of his thoughts, melting them back into the depths of his mind where he kept everything. Glancing up, he made sure Malani was still asleep before getting out with Xyden who helped himself out.
"Don't be on no bullshit like youn got no damn sense while you over here, cause you and Keoni like to act a fool when y'all together." He pushed Xyden to walk ahead of him by the back of his head.
The laughter of his son told him all he needed to know about what Isabelle would have to deal with over the weekend. "It's not even me, talk to Keoni." He shrugged, pressing his finger along the doorbell.
Shaking his head, Syre stepped back hearing footsteps from the other side, until his sister pulled the door open in her bonnet and a towel. "Yo ass would've looked stupid as hell if it wasn't us at this door, just ghetto." He twisted his face up.
"Bitch go to hell- hi babyyyy." She smiled down at Xyden who she wrapped her arms around for a hug.
"Hi!" He perked up, giving her a hug back before turning to his father who leant down to kiss his forehead. "Bye dad" he waved.
"Bye, have fun." He waved off, watching his son slide past his aunt to run into the house where Keoni was waiting. "Yo fake ass son ain't even come greet a nigga, that boy gon meet my belt acting like he don't know who nearly raised his ass." Syre folded his arms, hearing his nephew but not seeing him.
"Not too much, cause you couldn't even bring my niece to the door for me to see her."
"Cause she in there sleep, and I ain't bout to be bothered with that carseat just to play show and tell with my baby." His eyes squinted to his sister who only rolled her eyes.
"Whatever, but I heard you found the truth out about Amerie?" She raised an eyebrow to ask what she'd been meaning to call him about, but she wanted to give him time to figure things out for himself.
It was like he could feel the coldness that ran through his blood at the mention of her. "Yeah."
"So what does that mean now? Between the two of you if we end up finding her?" Isabelle leant up against the doorframe with her arms crossed in front of her brother.
"Asking the wrong person Belle." He chuckled to himself, although the taste in his mouth at the topic was nothing sweeter than bitter.
Poking her bottom lip out, she could see everything in her brothers eyes that told their own story. He was hurt, evidently, and it was obvious for her especially because she knew her bother. "Come let sissy give you a hug."
"Man get the fuck off of me." He sucked his teeth at the feel of her arms wrapped around him, his hands immediately pushing her off. "Me and her gon get to that when the time come, but I just got to make sure she alive right now. Ain't getting shit but dead ends."
"Momma gon lose her mind when she finds out she's been loud and wrong, you're still not talking to them?"
"No, and ion got plans to. She got secret animosity towards my fucking daughter too off some shit she knew nothing about. Even when I was mad, I made that shit clear that was some shit between her and I period. I was always against everyone else inserting themselves in our shit, always." He emphasized what Isabelle already knew, and she tried to control it herself, but nobody cared to listen.
Sighing, she glanced towards her feet before back towards her brother whose hardened face and demeanor stared at her so intently. "You have to talk to them though, these are still our parents-."
"Fuck all that, youn get it and ion expect you to when you never had a reason to understand. And that ain't yo fault, ion blame you, and ion got no resentment towards you. It's them, and they know why." He explained to his sister who nodded her head in understatement of what she would never understand. And she respected his feelings.
"Well look, whatever happens I'm always on your side. I don't want you feeling alone in any of this because I know you, you start to isolate and become all 'fuck the world' when you feel like everyone's against you." She smiled small, but he didn't reciprocate it.
"Ian ever isolated or became fuck the world nothing when I feel like niggas is against me. Ion give a fuck who against me, I got myself and that's all that matter."
⋆⛧*┈┈┈┈﹤୨♡୧﹥ ┈┈┈┈*⛧⋆
"You the prettiest girl on this planet boo, you know that?" Syre spoke softly to Malani who he laid in bed with. He ran gentle circles along her back that moved up and down slowly to assist her breathing.
Since Amerie been gone, there wasn't a night she went to sleep without being in bed with her father. If he even attempted on laying her in the crib he had at his house, she woke up instantly crying. He asked Veronica what she thought it was since Malani was never this way before, and they assumed it was small attachment issues beginning to develop with her.
"Tank you dada." She smiled as she snuggled her body more into her fathers, keeping her small hand clenched along his shirt with her head laid along his chest. Her eyes stared at the illuminated TV playing SpongeBob in the darkness of the room.
He'd found himself in deep thought for the last couple of days now since everything was revealed. He couldn't be around Malani for the first two days, but managed to suck it up and have his daughter with him since then. He couldn't have her feeling like she'd been abandoned yet again by her parents, because that wasn't the case at all. And if anything, she brought him comfort in a time like this.
He looked into the face of his daughter, and only seen her. She'd been the only thing on his mind with the longer they went knowing nothing. He had his people working crazily, day in and day out because he couldn't while trying to keep Malani good and entertained.
He still didn't want Amerie back, but now it was for other reasons. They weren't good for one another, it was too unhealthy seeing where they were now. He didn't have plans to try and win her back or beg for her, regardless of wanting her forgiveness eventually whenever she was ready. That, he had plans of working for because she deserved that and so much more out of him. And he knew that.
In his mind, this wasn't their end though, not now that he knew the truth. There wasn't a doubt in his mind she'd want absolutely nothing to do with him for the rest of their time on Earth together, once he did have to face her again and reveal he found out all she'd been asking of him. But years down the line when they were both in better spaces of life, he had plans to try again with her.
He didn't care who was in either of their lives at that point in time, he wanted at least one more go with her. He was the one who messed things up and he knew that, and she wasn't obligated to ever take him back if she really didn't want to. But he knew he'd eventually be working his ass off to make that happen, no matter what he had to do for it.
"Love you so much mama." He whispered out, pressing a soft kiss against her forehead.
She was his sanity and his happiness these days. Xyden too, but her especially since he spent everyday going to sleep and waking up to his daughter. Her huge personality stuffed in such a little body helped him to even get up every morning, and refrain from keeping up a drug induced state or falling into an unwanted depressive state.
He watched her curl her body up until she sat straight up against his stomach to stare down at him. Her two toned eyes looked to his gray ones curiously, until a small smile indented the dimples that filled both her cocoa brown cheeks.
"We play?" She spoke down to her father who was on the verge of a nap.
He stared back into those eyes that made him struggle to say no, before raising his body from off the bed with a small breath. "Aight what you tryna do, you want to watch a movie or sum? Daddy all yours tonight." He reasoned to Malani whose smile only widened.
"Cookies...for mama." She grabbed his wrist in both her small hands to pull him along with her off the bed. His free hand held her arm to lift her down the high bed that he knew she couldn't crawl off of herself, before standing up to let her lead the way.
Being in the room with his daughter only reminded him of the days it used to just be him and her mother. Long before they even thought about having a baby together, when everything surrounding their relationship was simple.
"You want to make cookies for mama? Syre raised an eyebrow, taking tiny steps to match her pace.
"Mhmm, so mama come home." She turned to smile up at him, with those bright hopeful eyes almost twinkling.
Pressing his lips together, he only nodded with his smile immediately dropping once his daughter turned back around. His main focus right now was wanting Amerie back home for her, if nobody else.
He stared down at the small independent body in front of him that still kept her hands latched onto him. Once getting to the top of the staircase, she turned around with her arms extended to Syre who didn't hesitate in picking her up to go down the spiral staircase. He set her back to her feet at the bottom to allow her to run off in the direction of the kitchen, but not before stopping to pet his dogs and Angel, who Syre had been reluctantly taking care of.
"I want doggie but- but mama say no." Malani pouted, entering into the kitchen with him with her small arms folded and lip hanging in a pout. "She say doggie live with you." She pointed to Syre who pulled out the box of cookie mix from the pantry.
"Oh yeah?" His eyebrow raised in amusement as he helped her up to sit on the kitchen island. "Yo momma out her rabbit ass mind she think I'm getting another puppy to stay at my crib." He muttered, placing a bowl down next to her.
"Bad word." She hit his arm gently with a small pout lining her lips.
Syre's eyes cut to look at his daughter who watched his hands peel open the cookie box. "Youn tell me what I can and can't say, you the baby here." He eyed her, watching as her eyes rolled to the back of her head before she looked back to her father who only shook his head in amusement. "Roll em again watch I snatch em bitches out, pour this in the bowl." He handed her the bag of opened mix to pour into the big red bowl.
Malani excitedly adjusted her body to do as he said ,while he grabbed everything else they needed. He took repeated glances at her to make sure she didn't spill anything until all of it was in the bowl, leaving the empty plastic he threw away for her.
"I want." She pointed towards her fathers nose once he turned back around, her small hand reaching up in attempts to grab his nose ring until he moved his head away from her. "Dada-."
"Malani you tryna pull my shit out my face and gon look at me like I'm crazy? You can get one when you older boo, not right now mama." He kissed her forehead gently to shift her focus away from the whining and attitude he knew she was getting ready to give him.
As the days went on, he praised the men who had to raise their daughters alone because it wasn't easy. He could have had another woman in the house taking care of her if he really wanted to, but he didn't. Regardless of where Amerie was, or if she was alive or not, he'd never let anyone else come in to try and play 'mommy' when she already had one.
He helped Malani the entire time with everything she wanted to add to the cookies. His hands rested over her own to help her round out the little balls to place on the cookie sheet laid out on the island.
"We got like 3 more, you doing good. Daddy got a lil baker on his hands huh?" He smiled down at his daughter who only giggled to herself as she reached her hand back into the bowl to grab another handful.
He watched her handle each of the last three, trying her best to get them as round as possible with his assistance. Syre made sure they were good, before sliding the pan in the oven and picking her up off of the counter.
"We talk." Malani smiled, looking down to watch Syre plop down on the couch with her.
"What you want to talk about?" He tilted his head to his daughter who searched his face.
"How- how you meet mama?" Malani smiled after taking a second to think to herself. Blanking his face out, Syre inhaled a deep breath as his hand ran over the short curls along his head.
"You only two and we already having the conversation bout how I met your momma? You too grown." He shook his head, seeing the way her lips frowned down.
"Tell me!"
"Relax, sound like a lil ass Chihuahua in my ear." He muttered, sitting his body up a little bit to talk more comfortably. "I met your- I can't even tell you how we met, this ain't no age appropriate story." He quickly cut himself off with his eyebrows furrowed, once he really stood and thought about how they met.
The story was one he could laugh about now, especially seeing how they ended up after all that drama in the beginning. He would have never expected he'd be in a kitchen baking, with the daughter he now shared with that "broke stripper" he referred to her as in the beginning.
"I can tell you other stories bout mama though, I got a whole lot of 'em." He picked her up off of the couch to sit her in front of him on the coffee table.
Malani loved hearing things about her parents whenever one wasn't around, even if she could barely understand the stories in their entirety. She understood enough to make out the point in whatever people were saying to her, and enough to where she could respond.
She was very smart and advanced for her age, spoke all the time and made sense for the most part despite grammatical issues. And it was because even while locked up, her parents still prioritized her and her education. She was already in little learning groups from the time she turned one, helping her to read and talk from very early on.
"Ok...I want mmmm how mama make me." She smiled to Syre whose blanked out face stared at his daughter tiredly once again.
"Mama ain't make you alone, for one, who the hell you think I am?" He knitted his eyebrows together playfully, hearing her laugh to herself.
"My dada, only mine!" She lunged her body back into his lap to wrap her small arms around him. "Nobody else dada."
Syre fixed her body to hold her cradled, as he leant back into the couch. "You got a brother princess, what you gon do if me or mama give you more siblings?" He raised an eyebrow to Malani who only shook her head. She didn't care about what he was saying because she wanted to hear the story of what she asked.
"No...tell me- tell me story." She persisted to her father who sucked his teeth.
"I ain't telling you that story either, yo ass tryna get into some topics that's inappropriate. I can tell you bout when she had you though." He suggested to Malani who nodded, thinking they were the same thing because she didn't know the difference.
Keeping his eyes trained towards the ceiling, Syre took a deep breath as he remembered that moment and everything leading up to it so vividly. "Aight we was in Hawaii and we was spending the day together. I did something really nice for her, all this and that. And when daddy do sum nice, mama likes to reward me with goodies." He cheesed, thinking on all those moments he shared with Amerie.
"Goodie- I want-."
"No, shut up." He covered her mouth before she could go on about it. "But I only got to have a lil bit till you decided you wanted to come along and stop the show. So we rushed back home, and a couple hours later you was here with us. Came out so pretty, I won't ever forget the first time I got to lay my eyes on you and realize me and her made the prettiest baby to ever exist. Never in my life have I seen anyone so beautiful." He stroked her hair gently, finally bringing his eyes down to meet his daughters.
"Your momma was so excited to meet you, she didn't want to put you down once she seen you for the first time. Her heart so big, but in that moment you could see how much you completed it for her. There ain't nobody on this Earth who gon love you as much as her, I promise you." He spoke the last part so low, it was nearly inaudible.
A certain wave of unwanted emotion washed over his body with the longer he stared down into the face that resembled the woman who hadn't left his mind in days. He needed anything to just let him know she was alive, because the little bit of hope he had was wearing thin as the days went on. And he didn't know what that would entail for himself if he got the call he'd been dreading.
"Mmmm I want more!" Malani's voice snapped him out of the thoughts that clouded his head.
His eyes blinked down to his daughter who raised her hands to play with the chain around his neck that read her and her brother's names. "Lani- aight, there was one time she stopped talking to me and ignored me for like a week cause I ate one of her wings while she was pregnant." He chuckled to himself, thinking back on it hearing Malani laugh to herself too.
"The hell you laughing at?" He furrowed his eyebrows, making her giggle harder. "She had daddy in the dog house a lot, yo momma ain't play that shit. She ain't like arguing and doing all that other shit, but she stood her ground when she needed to. You got that lil feisty ass attitude right from her, she ain't have no problem checking a nigga when she wanted to and I was a lil scared of her-."
"Mama scare you?!" She gasped, "Not me." Malani quickly shook her head.
"Ion give a damn, I ain't even ask you. Bet yo ass gon be scared when you make her mean ass mad, you barely know yo damn momma." He moved her body to sit on the couch next to him.
"How you know mama?" Malani tilted her head to Syre who looked back at her with the same confused expression.
It amazed him everyday how little babies actually knew, and how they had to be taught every little thing. Even the stuff that seemed like common sense to anyone else. He was now realizing Malani didn't have a clue how they knew each other or their relationship, she just knew he was her dad and Amerie was her mom.
"Yo momma was my girl, that's how you came along. Me and ya momma used to have a time when we was kidless and just messing around with no strings attached. Whew." He shook his head, thinking on Amerie back when they were just having fun. "Then yo ass came along." He scrunched his face up playfully to Malani who grinned up at him.
"One more story...pwease, me and mama." Pulling his lips into his mouth, Syre's body naturally slouched down into the couch.
He had so many stories he could tell, it was hard knowing which to even choose. He couldn't remember the last time he sat and just thought about her, and every moment he had with her. Because any time she crossed his mind, he 9/10 found himself somewhere the farthest from sober.
"You and mama...I remember that second day you was here, the first real day we had with you she was so happy. Ion think I ever seen her smile as hard as she did than I seen that day."
"Look at her, she's so cute baby." Amerie stared down at her 1 day old baby who latched onto her nipple, her eyes closed to drink from her mother. Amerie's hand gently fixed the small pink bow headband that fit around her baby's head perfectly, matching her first outfit outside of that from the hospital.
It was so quiet in there, nothing but the beeps of the machines in the private hospital room and Syre's movements filling the space. Amerie's body relaxed back into the hospital bed she lay in, feeling a sense of peace she couldn't remember feeling ever in her life. It felt so different, so complete.
Her eyes raised with the closer Syre's footsteps came approaching her direction. She couldn't help the small smile spread along her face at the sight of her daughter's father, who'd been the best help she could have asked for within the last 24 hours the baby been there. She allowed his hand to grasp the side of her face gently as he leant down to press his lips against her temple.
"This momma shit look a lil too good on you already." Syre mumbled against her skin, pressing another kiss along her temple before leaning down to do the same to the baby.
He could sit and watch his girlfriend like this all day, it was close to what he'd already been doing. Everything about her seemed so different so drastically, from her aura to her mental space period.
"You think I'm doing good?" She looked to him with a small smile danced along her lips, before she glanced back down to Malani who unlatched from her.
Syre's washed hands extended out towards Malani who Amerie pulled off of her gently, to hand off to her father. The small burping cloth already wrapped over his shoulder, as his hand placed light taps along the baby's back
"You doing an amazing job, and you look gorgeous doing it." He complimented Amerie who slowly fixed herself back into the hospital gown she wore.
Her parted lips released a small sigh of exhaustion from her lack of sleep. It was difficult for her to fall asleep, between the pain she was in, the nurses constantly checking in, and the baby waking up. Syre took care of the baby for what he could do, but other than that, she was forced awake.
"You look handsome doing it too." She complimented, pulling her phone out to take a picture of him with Malani.
She always enjoyed watching him in his daddy mode, but it was different with their daughter. It was like night and day from the Syre she knew, to now watching him with this tiny baby who he handled so delicate. Like she was the most fragile thing he'd ever laid his hands on.
She watched as he sat down on the chair closest to the bed with Malani still in his arms, except back sleeping now after releasing the smallest burp. Syre held her cradled in his right arm, grabbing a bag with his left.
"I want to give you a lil sum while we here, just to say thank you. I obviously got a lot more than this, but-."
"Baby, you didn't-."
"There ain't no point in saying that shit to me when I already got the stuff." Syre cut her off before she could say what he knew was coming. "You just gave birth to a human, Amerie. I watched that entire process, and you deserve a lot more than what I could ever give you." His eyes trailed up to meet hers that stared at him with so much love and admiration.
She kept her mouth shut to just nod, understanding all of what he was saying to her and she didn't want to argue about it. No matter how long they'd been together, it never got easier accepting things from him or getting used to all that he did.
"This here is something real little, but just a thank you gift for while we in here still." He handed her the bag that read 'Tiffany & co.' on the outside.
Amerie's heart swelled before she could even fish through the bag. She pulled out the white paper, revealing a long black box at the bottom of the small bag. Her hand reached down to pull it out and immediately flip open the top, where the diamonds encrusted in the 'Malani' chain danced up at her from the light.
"Sy." She sighed with her lips pursed, feeling her eyes begin to water up at the necklace laid out before her. "This is so beautiful, thank you." She spoke through a whisper, just admiring the jewelry that sparkled up at her.
She was appreciative of anything and everything, no matter how big or small and it made Syre's infatuation with her even greater. She'd settle for nothing, as long as she had him and those around her who she cared about. The material things were never a necessity, but always greatly appreciated.
"Youn got to thank me, turn a lil bit." He stood up, laying a sleeping Malani down in the bassinet right next to the bed.
Amerie did as he said while handing him the small box. He set it down on the table, taking the necklace out to clasp around her exposed neck from her hair that sat messily thrown in a bun atop her head.
"I know yo doctors seen these hickeys." He chuckled once locking the necklace along her neck. The back of his finger ran where the purplish bruises imprinted her skin from 2 nights prior.
"I keep telling you stop marking me-."
"I know you ain't talking." He raised an eyebrow, pulling his shirt up for Amerie to see all the red marks and bruises along his skin. A mixture of hickeys, bite marks, and scratch marks all through his skin, bringing a heavy blush along her cheeks that heated up.
She fixed her body to stare up at him innocently with a small smile. "Come, lay with me please." She urged, opening and closing her hands as she slowly moved her body to the side of the hospital bed.
Syre didn't hesitate in kicking his shoes off to climb into the bed right next to her. His arm naturally wrapped around her, pulling her body more into his until her head lay against his bare chest. Leaning down, he pressed a small kiss along her forehead bringing a wide smile to her tired face.
"I love you so much." He whispered against her skin. "And I won't ever stop loving you, not after yesterday and these last 9 months." He shook his head, still struggling to wrap his head around what he witnessed since learning about her pregnancy.
"I love you more, I'm so excited for this little journey." She sighed out something that sounded like relief, just feeling so complete after years of not knowing what her purpose on Earth still was. "I feel so happy and at peace now that she's here. Nervous for the mental and physical toll, but I trust you to be there." She traced her nail along his tattoos soothingly.
"Ian going nowhere mama." He chuckled, staring down until her head raised to stare up at him.
"I cannot believe I share a baby with you and tell you I love you everyday, us 3 years ago would've said hell no-."
"Hell nah indeed, I would've rathered jump off the tallest building than imagine having a kid with you. Them beginning days was crazy." He shook his head just reminiscing, while Amerie's face twisted up at his words.
He winced at her fingers flicking against his temple hard. "You're the one who ended up wanting me first anyways, I didn't care to be involved with you. Had you on hands and knees begging to be with me-."
"You was on hands and knees swallowing my dick on our third interaction, that shit cancels out anything else you tryna say to me right now." He cut in, making her eyes roll in her head hard.
"Whatever, tell me how much you love me again." She wrapped her arms around him with her head rested back on his chest.
Syre's lips curved up in a smile, keeping his eyes between his daughter and her mother who laid on either side of him. "How much I love you? I'd die for you mama, without any hesitation, question, or doubt. At any given moment."
"You happy I come?" Malani tilted her head slightly to Syre who leant forward to attack her face in kisses, hearing her loud wild giggles fill the living room.
Her smile reflected on his own face that kissed at hers. "You one of the best things to ever come in my life, ain't ever know I needed a lil girl to calm me the fuck down sometimes." He brushed her curls out of her face to admire his baby.
She looked to him like he was the best man she'd ever seen in her life, and that alone was what kept him going now especially. It felt good, those moments he allowed himself to sit and act human with emotions. Outside of the mask he was so used to for most of his life, that King persona who was completely heartless with nobody but himself.
"When you meet me-."
"Malani, baby, please." He sighed, tired of the questions that he knew if he didn't put a stop to she would go all night.
"Color" She pointed towards his body, referring to all his tattoos as she carefully crawled off of him. "I color dada." She pointed to the markers messily spread along the coffee table.
Staring at her tiredly, he was about to say no until seeing the innocence and excitement in her face. Huffing out a small breath, he pulled his shirt off to expose the tattoos on his chest before laying back while Malani grabbed the big pack of markers with both her hands.
"When you get older, you come to me for all your tattoos so I can make sure you ain't tatting no nigga name on you. I'll put yo ass in a headlock too fast." He shook his head, watching her messily color in the tattoos on his arm from where she sat on his lap.
"Mama name?" She questioned, searching through the tattoos despite not knowing her mothers name. She didn't know Syre's name either, she just thought their names were 'mama' and 'dada' which confused her when other people spoke to her parents.
"Right here." He pointed to above his eyebrow, prompting her eyes to shoot up towards where his finger sat. "Here." He pointed to his arm. "And here." He pointed to the side of his neck where her initials sat.
"That not say mama." She knitted her eyebrows together, pointing to the one on his face specifically.
Blanking his face out, Syre ran his hand down it to try and coach himself to have patience with her. "Malani...that girl is not my damn mama, and her name is not mama-."
"Yes! Mama!" She yelled with her face twisted up, almost offended he tried to tell her she was wrong.
Syre sucked his teeth in annoyance, "Your mothas name is Amerie, you the only person on this Earth who call her mama."
"Amewe?"
"No and don't call her that, that's ya momma- man, just call her mama. Don't listen to what I just said." He shook his head, choosing not to go down that rabbit hole with her.
Malani stared at him with squinted eyes for a minute, before going back to what she was doing. He let her color him while he watched whatever was on TV, occasionally texting with Jaileen who he'd barely spoken to since finding everything out.
"Yo." He answered his phone that rung in his lap.
"Just checking in on you, you straight? At the crib?" Remi's voice sounded through the phone. Taking a deep breath, Syre laid his head back along the pillows, helping his body to sink deeper into the plush couch.
"I'm straight, Lani got all my attention. Tryna put her to sleep now." He spoke softly to refrain from interrupting the sleep she was falling into. He could see her drifting in and out, almost fighting it.
"You walking round with a mini Amerie funny as hell, cause she resemble her momma too much." Remi chuckled, bringing a small smile to Syre's face as he gently stroked his daughters.
"She looking like me more with the older she get, used to barely even be able to guess she got a father." He shook his head, leaning down to kiss her forehead gently. "Why you got to choose yo bm wisely, cause both my kids gorgeous." He boosted unapologetically, because it was true.
Both Malani and Xyden were the most beautiful children he believed he'd ever seen, and not just because they were his. He gave credit to both Amerie and Cheyanna, because they were gorgeous in his eyes on their own. And those genes mixed together clearly did their job.
"Real shit, but it's obvious Lani your daughter. It's Xy who the spitting image of his moms." Remi shook his head through the phone, and Syre nodded in agreement because it was true. "But Ian gon keep you or nun, I was just making sure you straight. I'll hit you later aight?"
"Bet." He pulled the phone from his ear to end the call, tossing his phone down next to him. Naturally, his eyes watched his daughter who was finally winding down.
She laid against his chest with her pacifier propped in her mouth to suck gently, while Syre ran small circles along her back to help her fall asleep better. He kissed along her forehead, and other parts of her face soothingly.
"Your momma love you so much, and that's something that won't ever change. You too young to understand what's going on right now, but everything gon be straight. Made a promise to you when you were born that this world is yours, and it starts with me and her. She miss you just as much as you miss her, I promise. And she gon be home real soon mamas." He whispered, and by the time the last word rolled off his tongue, she was sunken away into a deep sleep.
And almost on command, the sound of his work phone vibrating against him took his attention away from Malani who lay against him. He reached into his pocket to grab it, placing it on his ear without paying attention to the caller ID.
"Wassup." He answered tiredly, ready to call it a night from the lack of sleep he'd been getting.
"Yo, I'm on the strip and I think your baby mother is passed out- nah I know she passed out, I just can't identity if it's her or not. It looks like her but she look almost sickly with how much weight she lost." A boy on the other end rushed out, making his focus heighten. He immediately stood to his feet with Malani in his arms to start on his way upstairs.
"...What?"
"She's passed out just on the street laid up against a building with a needle in her arm. And she foaming at the mouth, ion know-."
"Take her to the hospital we use and hurry the fuck up, you feel a pulse on her?" He cursed into the phone as his feet picked up to go from a walk, to a run up the stairs he skipped multiple steps of.
"Um hold up." The boy spoke before the sound of shuffling filled the phone. "Nah, ion feel nothing."
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