DISCLAIMER: Abuse, Suicide, Anxiety
Rafe's POV:
After Lillian left I thought back to our time together last night, she looked so beautiful in that dress. We talked so much and she already taught me so many things. Deep talks with her were easy. I never felt like it was easy to discuss my feelings but she could understand me which made it super easy.
She made me feel so happy, her laughter and her smile.
When she talks about the things she loves she has this passion in her eyes, she talks about those things and knows everything about them. She's hard to figure out but I somehow manage really well, I always look at her, fascinated by her.
One moment when we were swimming she saw a few fish and told me to look at them and how cute they were. I didn't though, I looked at her, she got so excited over such little things. She appreciated life in all ways and never took anything for granted.
As I looked at her getting so excited I thought about how much I love her, I would take a bullet for her. No doubt I would.
I wish I could tell her, but it was too early and I myself understood that.
She was perfect and somehow she liked me, somehow she thought I was good enough for her, which I wasn't.
All of a sudden Sarah called me to her room.
"Rafe come here," she yelled so I would hear her. I went into her room and she was on her bed with a look that seemed mad.
"What do you want Sarah?" I asked her annoyed, I knew what she wanted to talk to me about.
"Rafe are you serious about her?" she asked me and I got slightly offended.
"Of course I am, she means the world to me, she's helping me with everything and I love her. Wait you didn't hear that, I never said that." Shit, she was going to tell Lillian.
"You love her?" she asked me meaningly.
"Yeah, like I don't know how to say it but she feels like home to me, just seeing her from far away puts a smile on my face. She makes me understand so many aspects of life that I never knew of, she's, she's just-" I said before I interrupted myself. "Doesn't matter anyways because she doesn't feel the same way," I said.
"Shut up, yes she does," Sarah told me abruptly.
"What? She does?" The feeling of her loving me made me so happy, I only realized it recently, but I've loved her for months and finally, she loved me back.
"She didn't fully say that but I think she does, but give it time." Wow. Lillian Bianca Jones loves me.
"But Rafe, you better treat her super well. Her last relationship left her so deep into a hole." Sarah said before stopping herself.
"What do you mean?" I asked Sarah, that Daniel. Again.
"Nevermind it's not my story to tell," Sarah said a tear coming down her face.
"Sarah, why are you crying?" I asked her confused.
"Nothing, I can't tell you," Sarah said.
"Sarah, you don't have to tell me the whole story but explain a little, I've heard this Daniel's name but never what he did. Did he ever hurt her?" I asked with rage burning in my chest.
No person should have ever hurt Lillian, my favourite girl. The woman I love more than anything else. I was going to kill him.
"Just ask her, I can't tell you," Sarah told me.
I stormed out of her room and I tried to calm myself down. I went to bed and decided that I would ask her when it came up, I didn't want to lay a big weight on her.
The next morning I texted her asking to hang out.
Me
Good morning baby❤️
My Love❤️
Good morning❤️
Me
Do you want to have breakfast at the country club?
My Love❤️
Yessss
Me
Okay I'll pick you up in 20 minutes
My Love❤️
Kk
Me
C u then❤️
I drove to her house and rang the doorbell, she opened the door smiling at me. I love her so much. She looked so pretty, she was wearing a pink and white dress, it was tight around her waist but had a flowy skirt at the end.
She just looked so good, and wow she was mine. I'm the luckiest man on earth.
"Hey beautiful," I said and she gave me a kiss.
I enjoyed her touch so much, she made me crave more of her every second. I greeted her parents and opened her car door for which she thanked me. She shouldn't have. That was the bare minimum.
We got breakfast and when the waitress gave us the check she leaned in her purse to get her wallet.
"Whoa woah woah, you're not paying," I told her.
"Rafe it's only fair," she tried but I shook my head and gave the waitress my card.
"Thank you," she said chuckling and I just kissed her.
"So what do you want to do now Love?" I asked her.
"How about we go to the beach?" She asked me.
"Sounds good to me princess," she chuckled. "I love the nicknames you give me," she tells me and I smile. "Yeah?" I ask her teasingly. I know she does. "Yeah!" She said jokingly. I gave her a kiss and put my arm over her shoulder. Let's go to my house first, I don't have a bathing suit," she tells me and I nod driving there.
She gets her bathing suit and I already had one in my car so we were good to go. We drive to the beach and we position ourselves really close to the shore.
"Rafe can you please cover me with a towel I need to change into my bathing suit." She asks me and I nod.
She takes off her dress and I hold it for her, she then takes off her panties and bra and I take a peek at her body at which she laughs.
"Rafe!" she tells me chuckling. I could tell she didn't mind, if she did I would've stopped immediately.
"My bad, you look beautiful though" I tell her and she looks in my eyes.
"Thank you," she says and she gives me an intense kiss, god I love her kisses.
"What the fuck?" We hear a voice say behind us. Lillian has finished changing so I put the towel on the ground. We turn around to see Kelce.
"Bro, what are you doing with that bitch?" Kelce asks me and I move closer to him to punch him but Lillian stops me.
"Don't fucking call her that Kelce," I yell.
"Rafe it's fine," Lillian whispers in my ear.
"And for your information she's my girlfriend," I tell Kelce and he looks shook.
"She is?" he asks me and Lillian nods.
"Wow ok. Good for you I guess at least she's hot," Kelce said and I was about to punch him so hard but Lillian shook her head telling me with her eyes that he wasn't worth it.
"Fuck off Kelce," I said and surprisingly he lifted his arms in surrender and left. For the rest of the day, me and Lillian stayed at the beach, we talked for a while and of course, went swimming.
She talked for a while and she was super interesting.
"What's your love language?" she asked me.
"My what?" I asked with a confused look.
"Your love language, your way of transmitting love to people," she told me and that confused me even more.
"I don't know," I said. "I think it's physical touch," she told me. "Yeah?" I said as I grabbed her waist teasingly. "Yeah," she said, she was now laying on me with her head on my chest. I looked down at her and she closed her eyes, she wasn't trying to sleep. That made me feel so happy because that meant that she felt safe in my arms. That's all I've ever wanted to prove to her, that she could feel safe with me.
"What's yours?" I ask her. "Probably words of affirmation," she says without a doubt, she's been thinking about it. Aw. She's so cute. "Yeah I agree," I said as I kissed her head.
She looked so calm and beautiful, she was mine. She was laying in my arms. I love her so much. I want to tell her so bad but it was too early to say that.
In the afternoon we went to her house and we watched a movie together in her room. "What movie do you want to watch?" she asks me standing in front of her bed while I'm laying down on it.
"You can pick princess," I told her knowing that she would want to pick. She started playing Rapunzel and I laughed. "What?" she asks me with a chuckle.
"I'm just surprised you're still watching Disney movies." I said and she pretended to be offended before giving me a lecture on why Disney isn't only for little kids. I wasn't listening, once again I was just watching her express something she was passionate about, thinking of how much I love her.
"Ok, you win! Why Rapunzel though?" I ask her.
"Well, at the start of the movie, Rapunzel is this innocent clueless girl, Flynn takes her out to make sure her dream comes true and in the process, she discovers so many things about who she really is. But it doesn't matter because they're in love, her problems don't matter as much as he does and that's just so cute in my opinion. It's crazy to think that love can do that to a person. Also when I was little I liked her because we look alike." she tells me chuckling at the last sentence, and for the millionth time today, I'm fascinated by her. How can she be able to turn a cartoon into a life lesson? Only she can. Another reason why I love her.
"I agree," I say meaningly and she presses play, we cuddle onto each other and everything's a dream. Once the credits play I decide to ask her about the one thing that has been bugging me today.
"Baby?" I ask her.
"Yeah?" she replies softly.
"I need to ask you something. It's completely fine if you don't want to open up about it but I was wondering." I tell her.
"You can ask don't worry," she said which made me smile.
"What happened with Daniel?" I ask her slowly and she looks frozen for a second, she almost flinches at the mention of his name. "You don't have to tell me," I tell her and she shakes her head.
"No, it's fine you deserve to know," she sighs.
"So um, we got together and everything was good. Then-"She struggled to speak and I saw tears approaching her cheeks. "It's okay, Lil, I'm here," I tell her and she cuddles more into me.
"One day he started getting pretty rude," she tells me. "And yeah I would get panic attacks often because of him, that's how my anxiety started. He would always blame me for anything that went bad and well I still thought that it was okay so I never told anyone. Then one day Sarah saw everything happen, and she helped me clear my mind and everything. So I broke up with him but after that, I got really bad anxiety, so much so that once I hyperventilated and passed out, he used to come to my house and try to break in but I now have a restraining order, after all of that I was fine," she said wiping the tears off her face.
Something about this felt wrong like she didn't tell me the full story, but I ignored that feeling to be there for her.
"Lillian I'm so sorry," I told her hugging her tight.
"It's not your fault," she told me.
"Plus I'm over it, I'm with you now and I'm really happy," she said trying to change the subject but I didn't let her. "Just know that I'm here, you're always going to be safe as long as I'm here," I told her and she hugged me.
My poor girl.
I kissed her head softly and she was crying slightly in my arms.
"Changing subject, can you sleep over?" she asked me.
"Yeah, of course, darling," I tell her with a chuckle. She didn't want to bring it up.
I was pretty confused because her story didn't really line up with Sarah and Topper's point of view, plus she wouldn't cry if that was the only thing that had happened.
______________________________________________________________
"So she just told you everything?" Topper asked me confused.
We were at his home gym working out, I was lifting weights and he was doing pull-ups.
"Yeah, she just did," I told him.
"That's weird, she's never told anyone the story, like everyone who knows knows because we helped her get back on her feet and we were there with her when it happened." Topper said and I shrugged my shoulders.
"So she told you about that night?" he asked me and I was immediately confused.
"What?" I asked Topper.
"You know, when he made her attempt sui-" He stopped himself.
"What?" I yell. Did she ever attempt to kill herself?
"Fuck, she didn't," Topper said regretting even talking about it.
"Topper, what do you mean?" I asked raising my voice.
"Well, um nothing," Topper says.
"Topper you are my best friend and she is my girlfriend, you're telling me what happened," I raise my voice.
"I can't tell you, it's not my story," Topper attempts to say before I get closer in a threatening way communicating that I wasn't taking no as an answer.
"Um so I will be telling you because you scare me but please don't tell Lillian. So Daniel was an abusive bastard, he hit her so many times, he gave her bruises and scars. She would deny it but she was lying. He always blamed everything on her and made her feel so stupid. One time in a fight he told her to kill herself, she sent him to hell so he dragged her on a roof and tried to make her actually do it. Sarah found her before she could jump but she was about to. Then of course she broke up with him after telling Sarah and me everything, but he tried to break into her house to do god knows what to her. Her parents found out and got a restraining order. After that she was a wreck with anxiety and passed out a couple of times, she has never attempted since that night, she isn't suicidal, he just had her so brainwashed." Topper tells me, he struggles to get the words out himself and I just listen, every word making me more and more mad at that bastard.
I was going to kill him.
"What the fuck," I say shocked that my girl has been through all of this without letting it out.
My poor love.
I text her:
Me
I know the truth
My Love❤️
Can u come over to talk?
Me
Of course
She knew what I meant, I drove to her house and she just cried in my arms. I comforted her, she wasn't completely healed, I knew that, she knew that, everybody knew that.
Notes From The Author:
Hey! I feel like this chapter is a lot. If you're struggling with anything just know that you aren't alone🩷. If you ever need to some one to talk to I'm always here:)
Thank you for reading!!
Love you all! X