12.57PM, Friday, Dec. 25th
400 West 37th Street, New York
I was sitting on my bed, staring out of the window onto the snow-covered street. It’d stopped sometime last night, but the weatherman said it just might pick up again. But I wasn’t here for the view, no matter how dazzling and rare mushy New York snow was. No, I was here to stare out of the window as I waited for Blane to come. I sipped my coke, feeling my hands shake. The prospect of having to break up with someone made me jittery. I was kind of hoping the caffeine would help.
How should I do it? I didn’t have enough experience to know. At one point, I’d even debated whether to call and ask Oscar about it, but he hadn’t called me since I saw him that day in the library, so I was guessing he was busy. Plus, asking him for relationship advice was just plain awkward, since the other guy I was dating happened to be his roommate.
So I just settled for some internet research. It basically told me to be honest, and place most of the blame on me to stroke his ego or whatever. But still, the actual words I would have to say were almost impossible to come up with… Whenever I started to plan the conversation in my mind, it would become stupidly clichéd – straight from a bad rom com – and all I could picture him doing was laughing, crying or something equally annoying.
But it was way too late now. The doorbell rang, and I knew that he was here. Finishing my coke in one gulp, with my eyes watering at the resulting brain-freeze, I grabbed a jacket and made my way towards the door.
Sammy gave me a quick hug on the way out. I took it as a sign of encouragement. Even though he probably had no idea what I was going out to do, I appreciated his support. Today, I needed all the support I could get. Taking a deep breath, I reached out and opened the door –
Immediately, the intense scent of flowers dominated the air around me, filling my lungs. It took a while for my eyes to focus on the blurry blood-red mass in front of me. I blinked, and suddenly it was a cloud of red roses. Behind the cloud was Blane. He held out the ridiculously large bouquet out to me, smiling. Oh, God. This just got a whole lot harder.
“For you,” Blane said, sounding almost nervous. He passed the flowers to me and I took them gingerly, not wanting to invoke my allergies. Now he wasn’t half-hidden, I could see that Blane was wearing a suit. My mind was vaguely confused for a few moments, before I remembered again. To Blane, this was just a date. He had no idea I was going to do this.
And now it was infinitely more difficult.
“They’re beautiful,” I said truthfully. Because, to be honest, they were. They were spectacular. Gems and pearls hung out from the bouquet, gleaming as they caught the light. It was lined with lace, the very petals decorated with delicate silk bands. It must’ve cost him an absolute fortune.
Why was he giving this to me? Wait…The surprise he was talking about…It was going to be big, wasn’t it? There was a sick knot in my stomach.
And now this was completely impossible.
“Not as beautiful as you.”
My heart stilled. Not because I was flattered. No. I was sad. Blane seemed to really, honestly like me and I knew it would hurt him so much when this ended.
“Blane,” I said quickly, going in headfirst. “I’m glad you called me yesterday, because I’ve been meaning to –”
“I’m glad as well,” he gushed. “We haven’t talked for so long I was getting worried about you. Do you want to go somewhere to talk? I have something I really want to tell you.”
“Oh,” I said distractedly. “Sure. Let’s go.”
***
1.24PM, Friday, Dec. 25th
Empire State Building, New York
“Really?” I asked, shifting the roses I was still carrying around in my hands, stifling the urge to sneeze. I chastised myself for not leaving them at home. The decorations and thing looked way too delicate and I was scared of anything breaking off. I wasn’t used to holding anything this expensive. In fact, the most expensive thing I’ve ever held before was probably my pillow. “You wanted to talk in the Empire State Building? I didn’t think you were the touristy type.”
“We’re not here for that, Summer,” Blane said, laughing like I was the funniest person in the world. “Today’s a very special day, so I had the place emptied for us.”
“You did?” Looking around the building, I guess he was right. I had no idea how to react to that. I didn’t even know you could empty public buildings. But with the thick snow falling from the sky, I doubted that anyone would’ve wanted to visit today anyway. Especially since it was Christmas. “Wow.”
“Do you want to go outside? To the observation deck” he asked, seeming weirdly excited.
“Uh…sure.”
He opened the door for me, and gestured. I walked slowly, cautious. My eyes widened.
I’ve been here once or twice before – maybe part of a school trip or just out of plain curiosity – but I’ve never seen it like this. I doubt anyone has ever seen it like this. The deck was adorned with multi-colored crystals that were probably as real as the ones attached to my flowers. They were dusted with the snowflakes that were falling from the grey-clouded sky. Candles were placed randomly, surrounded by scattered rose petals that danced in every soft breeze. Their dim glow lit up the deck, casting shadows in every direction.
It was romantic, I couldn’t deny that. But why was he doing this? Why was Blane…?
Blane coughed and I turned my head, surprised. So caught up in my own thoughts, I’d momentarily forgotten that he was still here. Blane waved at me tentatively. I stared at him. I was suddenly struck by how good-looking he truly was. His eyes were a calm, deep blue that reminded me of the ocean. He had high cheekbones that cut hard angles across his face and shapely lips that were probably soft and kissable. His hair was jet black, stray strands ruining his otherwise perfect hair.
And his lips curled up into a shy smile.
“You’re probably wondering what I called you here for,” Blane said, sounding nervous. “About why you are here.”
I shivered a little a snowflake landed, then melted, on my nose. Blane saw this, and quickly took off his jacket. He draped it around my shoulders and I muttered thanks to him. I sniffed the collar, almost experimentally. Blane smelt completely different from Jake. Blane smelt like some kind of expensive aftershave. Jake smelt…good.
“Anyway,” Blane said, returning to the topic. “I wanted to tell you why you’re here.”
He was definitely looking worried. Did he have to move away? I wouldn’t mind that. Or was he breaking up with me? Maybe this whole expensive gifts thing was meant to be part of a ritual rich people did when breaking up?
A girl could dream.
“How long have we known each other?” he asked, throwing me off completely. What was he talking about? “How long has it been now? A year?”
“I think that’s right.” I actually had no idea. It felt like forever, mainly because whenever Blane talked it felt like a billion years had gone by.
“Right. One long year. And we’ve dated for at least a month, right?”
“Probably.”
“I feel I’ve gotten to know you really well,” Blane continued, oblivious to my apathy. “And I think you know me better than anyone else.”
“Really?” I said skeptically. I didn’t even know his birthday.
“Yes,” he answered, missing the sarcasm. “I really do. And that is why I wanted to ask you something.”
Wait. What?
My heart dropped as Blane reached into his pocket, and pulled out a little velvet box. My eyes widened as I took it in. I couldn’t look away from the damn thing. No. This can’t be happening. What the hell is he thinking? Oh my God. He seriously wasn’t going to…?
“I’ve always liked you, Summer,” Blane confessed. “I’ve always loved the way you’re so calm and cool. I’ve always loved…well, you, Summer. I love you, Summer.”
Why are you still talking?
I closed my eyes, praying that this was meant to be some kind of sick joke. Blane took a deep breath in, as if to ready himself. Then he turned to me, his intense eyes suddenly boring into mine.
“I guess what I’m saying is…Summer…”
No. Don’t do this, Blane. You don’t want this. Why aren’t I stopping him?
Slowly, he got down on one knee, sinking into the snow.
“Will you…”
He snapped the box open. I stared, gaping at the diamond ring nestled in velvet. Blane…You can’t…
“…marry me?” he finished.
Blane looked so hopeful in that moment it broke my heart. He was looking into my eyes, waiting for my answer. I was going to crush him, I just knew it. I cursed myself for being so selfish and self-absorbed. Why did I have to do this to him? Blane was a good guy. He never deserved someone like me coming into his life and completely wrecking it. Why didn’t I consider his feelings in this? Why had I been so stupid? In my mind, everything would’ve played out like a movie. It would be funny and brilliant and no one would get hurt.
I closed my eyes. Who was I kidding? This was the real world. I was getting too caught up with fantasy. And Blane didn’t even like me. He was in love with other Summer, the one who shared his passion for Art, Foreign Movies and Opera. He was in love with the Summer that had fun in posh restaurants. He was in love with the Summer that thought feeding pigeons was cute and not cheesy.
After all, he didn’t even know the real me.
He didn’t know a thing about the real me.
“Blane…I’m sorry.”
All the light faded from his eyes. Suddenly, he wasn’t looking excited anymore. He was looking terrified.
“Summer?” he said, his voice shrill. “What are you talking about?”
I pulled off his jacket and gave it back to him.
“I have to tell you the truth,” I said heavily.
I passed the heavy flowers back into his arms.
“I’m allergic to flowers.”
Before it could sink in, I turned and ran from the building. As the lift doors closed, I could hear his yell. Suddenly, I lost all feeling in my legs and they buckled underneath me. I slid down the lift floor. Breaking up was hard. And I hadn’t technically broken up with him yet. I was so drained, I could barely be bothered to move, even when the lift doors pinged open again.
Sighing, I pulled out my phone to call the only person who could make me feel better.
***
Author's Note: Sorry for not uploading in ages, but I was partying down in Sri Lanka. It was some lame touristy-type holiday with my parents so don't ask. Anyway, I had quite a nice time. I'm back now, and with a nice tan, which is all that matters. What I am upset about is the fact that one day I forgot to wear a sunblock when I had a t-shirt on, so now I have two tan-lines. Nice one.
P.S. Anyone know how to fade a tan?
P.P.S VOMMENT!!!!!