"𝐈 𝐇𝐀𝐃 𝐀 𝐃𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐌 𝐋𝐀𝐒𝐓 night, the diner was full of customers— Like, everyone was standing and there wasn't even an empty spot!" I start narrating talking on the phone.
I'm sitting on my bed, laying my head on some pillows I put between my back and the bed's headboard.
"That sounds like a nightmare," Jess replies with a somehow interested tone.
"Yeah! I was the only one working, you weren't there and everyone was screaming what they wanted to eat, but I couldn't walk anywhere because the place was so packed and I was panicking."
"Are you sure this doesn't have to do with something stressful going on in your life?" Jess asks.
"I'm sure it does because then all the customers started staring at me! And they were asking 'Which college are you going to choose?' repeatedly."
"Yikes..." he notes, "I think you know what that means, Quinn."
"That I need to make a final choice?" I shrug.
"Yes, but also—"
I interrupt him "That I have to tell Rory, I know. I will!"
"Yeah, but when? You're gonna run out of time! And in my opinion, the sooner you tell her, the better."
"I'm just— I don't know, not ready yet? What if she gets mad about me not wanting to go there anymore?" I start to bring up the possible scenarios "Or, what if she thinks it's not worth it to be friends anymore? What if we stop being friends?"
"Or maybe she just accepts your choice, 'cause she's your best friend and wants to see you happy," he says.
"But—"
"I don't know how long you've been friends for—"
"Eighteen years!" I precise.
"Exactly, eighteen years! Basically your whole lives! She wouldn't throw away an important connection such as the one between you two because of you wanting something different for your future, trust me."
"I do trust you, and I really hope you're right...but just the thought of us not being friends anymore— I couldn't take it, she's like another sister to me."
"I know, I've seen you two...but I really think that Rory's not that selfish. She wouldn't throw away your friendship."
"Olive! Dinner!" Susan yells impatiently as she flashes by the door to warn me "Who are you talking to?"
"Can I say hi?" Jess asks.
"Yes, just a second," I say holding the phone towards Sue so that she can hear.
"Hi, Susan," Jess yells through the phone.
"Hi, Jess!" Susan replies.
"How's the thing with Tyler doing?" Jess asks, acting interested.
"How does Jess know about Tyler?" Susan glares at me and I send her an apologetic look "He's old news, by the way. I broke up with him months ago."
"Woah, you're a heartbreaker."
"Why did you break up?" I ask her, frowning.
"His mom started to make him bring fruit to school, what kind of snack is that? He used to bring chocolate bars!"
"Oh! Got it!" I nod at her "Ok, well, you heard her...dinner's ready, see you tomorrow?"
"Yeah, are you coming to have breakfast at the diner?"
"Kill me if I ever say no to that," I reply.
"Okay," he chuckles "good night, Quinn."
"Good night, Jess."
I hang up and leave the phone on my nightstand as Susan waits for me to put on my slippers.
"Is Jess ever gonna come over?" Susan looks at me curiously.
"I'm sure he will, eventually."
"He's come over before, why are you taking things so slowly?"
"It's different now, we were friends back then, but now we're not just that."
"Yeah, but he knows us, I think it'd be great if he came over again for a movie night!"
"Again, he will eventually!"
"Okay..."
✧✧✧
𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐑𝐈𝐃𝐄 𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊 𝐇𝐎𝐌𝐄 is feeling longer than it ever did.
Probably because I'm planning on telling Rory today, just gonna get it over with.
Jess was right last night on the phone, I'm gonna run out of time and be forced to tell her.
And the sooner I tell her, the sooner she digests it, the sooner she's okay with it.
I'm not gonna lie, I'm terrified about her reaction. I really hope Jess knew what he was saying yesterday and that he was right about us not cutting all the contacts.
Not being able to hang out with her every day would destroy me.
"Hey, you're silent today, what's up?" Rory tries to pull me out of my mind.
"It's nothing, some stuff is running through my mind and I'm thinking about it too much."
"Oh, you wanna talk about it?" Rory looks closely into my face to spot what's wrong with me.
"Thanks, but I don't really feel like it, maybe later..." I shake my head and lay it resting on her left shoulder.
"I know what'll cheer you up!"
I smile softly and raise my glance to somehow look at her "What?"
"Do you wanna make a stop at Luke's before our study session today?"
"Yeah, sure! Thanks, Ror," I say gratefully.
"No problem!"
When we enter the diner, I put a hand on Rory's shoulder to bring her attention to me and say "Hey, you choose the table, and I order, what do you want?"
"Uhh, fries would be great! Maybe a cheeseburger?" she replies.
"Alright, be right back."
Behind the counter, there's Jess, who's trying to sneakily steal a donut from the bunch of freshly baked ones.
"Hey, thief, how you doing?" I greet him.
He immediately jumps, maybe thinking it was Luke behind him, then he notices it's me and lets out a relieved sigh.
"Hey, great, how about you?"
"Not great, I'm telling Rory today and I'm a bit freaking out..." I admit.
"It's understandable," he says taking a bite off the donut he took "Tell me how that ends up being like, by the way, if you need me to I can come over, too."
"Yeah, I'll call you and let you know."
"Okay...do you want to order something?"
"Yes, please! I need a portion of fries and a cheeseburger for Rory and another portion of fries along with a burger without pickles for me."
"Anything else?" he asks rereading the order he just wrote down.
"Could you make my burger with extra bacon?" I say, hopeful he'll say yes.
"You know Luke doesn't allow you to order that..." Jess reminds me.
"Luke's not my mother! C'mon, please! I need extra bacon for extra strength to tell Rory!"
"Ugh, fine! But I didn't take your order," he says pointing at me and immediately writing it down.
"Then who do I send my thank you cards to?" I quip "Jokes aside, thank you. I'll go sit next to Rory."
"Okay, I'll make sure to get you your food."
I softly lean in to leave a kiss on his cheek and then walk away.
"Done?" Rory notices me sitting down next to her.
"Yup, I even managed to make Jess add extra bacon to my burger."
"What? Extra bacon? No fair, he's your boyfriend!" Rory complains.
"Being with him has got to get me something out of it, right?" I quip.
"I guess..." Rory shrugs, still sad I got the extra bacon and she didn't.
"I'll let you try it, okay?" I offer, glancing her way.
"Ok, thanks!"
When Jess comes to our table and brings us our lunch, Rory and I smile gratefully at him as he borrows a chair to sit next to us.
"How was school?" Jess asks.
"Tiring," Rory sighs as she thinks of this day "I had to participate in this student council meeting, y'know, since I'm the vice president, and there's this girl, Francie, who's trying to make Paris' life a living hell!"
"You have weird people at Chilton..." Jess comments stealing a fry from my plate.
"I confronted her in the bathroom around a week ago and told her I can be a pain in the ass too! So today, during the meeting, she proposed that we place the sign-up table for the blood drive in the school cafeteria—"
I interrupt her "Oh! So that's why I heard someone scream this morning."
"What?" Jess frowns.
"A friend of ours, Madeline, hates the word 'blood' and she screams whenever she hears it."
"Got it," Jess nods, wearing a dazed look, "And what did you do?" he asks turning to Rory.
"I did everything I could to deny the motion, and I succeeded!"
"I'm so proud of you!" I say, smiling at her.
"I am too!" Rory admits.
"Jess, did you take a donut and not put the lid back?" Luke asks irritated.
"No?" Jess replies shrugging "Maybe the place is haunted," he suggests trying to sound creepy.
"Ok, that's it, either you start putting the lid back on or half your tips goes to Olive! And you know people generally don't tip you that much!"
"Whatever you say, Uncle Luke."
✧✧✧
"𝐘𝐎𝐔'𝐕𝐄 𝐁𝐄𝐄𝐍 𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐖𝐈𝐍𝐆 on your pen for quite a while now, is something wrong? You're worrying me!" Rory notices how concerned I am.
"Yes, there's something I need to tell you and I'm afraid you won't take it well..." I admit.
"What? No, don't worry! Tell me!" she encourages me.
"Okay, here we go..." I take a deep breath "I've been thinking a lot about this, and I think I should tell you that I don't think I wanna go to Harvard anymore."
Rory's eyes completely change. They lose their spark and fill up with disappointment. Her brows furrow into a confused frown and she has to look at the table before she can look back at me.
"What?" she asks, hopeful that she didn't hear what she actually did hear. Maybe, she thinks she misunderstood.
"I don't wanna go—"
She interrupts me "No, I heard you the first time— It's just...What? Are you kidding me? Harvard's been our dream since God knows when!"
"That's what I'm talking about, maybe it was never our dream, it was just yours... I'm sorry that you have to hear such a thing, but I had to tell you."
"Since when?" Rory asks glaring at me.
"I don't remember exactly...a few months ago, maybe."
"Yes, you do remember. Tell me."
"The day of the car accident was when I admitted it out loud for the very first time."
"Huh," she nods "And were you, by any chance, with Jess when you admitted it?"
"What does Jess have to do with anything?" I throw my hands in the air.
"Everything! Since he moved to town you and Dean stopped getting along, and now you don't wanna go to Harvard anymore?! This isn't you, this is Jess!"
I scoff offended "This is not Jess, I was thinking about it long before I even knew Jess existed!"
"Then why didn't you tell me sooner?"
"Because!" I point between us "Because of this! Because of how you would've reacted."
"I'm not a five-year-old, I can take you going somewhere else to college!"
"Fine, then take it! I'm not going to Harvard!"
"Fine!" she yells.
"Great!" I reply.
A silent minute passes, during which we're just staring at each other. Both not knowing how to continue. Should I just continue studying or go away and give her space?
"I don't get it," she says breaking the silence "Why wouldn't you wanna go to Harvard?"
"Because it's been forced on me this whole time since we were kids! When we were supposed to be playing with dollhouses in the playground you were obsessing over Harvard and how we could both get in!"
"I'm sorry! I'm sorry when I was four I wanted to spend my whole life with my best friend!"
"Stop acting like the victim, I'm just going somewhere else!" I throw my hands in the air exasperatedly.
"Where are you going then?" she crosses her arms over her chest and looks at me expectingly.
"I'm still trying to figure that out, as of now I think I might go to Yale."
"Yale, of course!" she nods as if she knew it from the start.
"What's so obvious about me choosing Yale?"
"Oh, I don't know! Maybe the fact that's really close to town and you could see your boyfriend all the time?" she accuses me.
"For the hundredth time, my choice doesn't depend on Jess! How many times do I have to repeat that?"
"Try repeating it until it sounds believable," she snaps.
"The fact that you could possibly think I'd be so shallow to let my boyfriend interfere with my life choices makes me think you don't know me at all."
"The fact that you chose to go to Yale without any previous notice, prioritizing your boyfriend over your best friend, makes you look shallow to me."
"Oh, wow. You know, Rory? I hoped that telling you this would go maturely, but you're acting like a baby."
"Yeah, 'cause you're such an adult!"
"I am adult enough to know what's best for me and my future, and not to let myself get influenced by other people. My college choice doesn't revolve around anyone, not Jess, not my mother, not my grandparents, and definitely not around you."
"Yeah, right!" she fakes a chuckle mocking me.
"Yeah it is right, I hate to break it to you but this world is populated by billions of people and each of them can't make their choices thinking about how you'll react."
"I'm not upset about your decision!"
"Are too," I say after scoffing.
"I'm disappointed in you for choosing Jess over me, I couldn't care less where you end up being or how you end up being like."
"I'm not fucking choosing Jess over anyone, I'm choosing myself! My well-being!"
"Just so you know, you'll regret it. You know how it'll end up for you and Jess, and when it'll happen you'll wish you had gone to college where you were supposed to."
"How will it end up for me and Jess, exactly?" I raise my eyebrows at her expectingly.
"He'll leave, he'll mess up and run away from his problems. Not that you're not used to it, but still."
I open my mouth to say something but nothing is coming out. It's like she's just stabbed me in the throat and I lost the ability to speak. I shake my head in disappointment and feel my eyes swelling up with tears.
"Excuse me?" I manage to say, in a really disgusted tone.
Her words keep echoing in my ears.
But each time they do, they're more hurtful and cutting.
He'll leave, he'll mess up and run away from his problems. Not that you're not used to it, but still.
He'll leave, he'll mess up and run away from his problems. Not that you didn't see your father do the same thing, but still.
Jess is just like your father, he'll abandon you.
But you're used to it, y'know how your father ran away immediately after you were born.
Every man you'll ever care about will be like your father. But you're used to it since your father did it twice.
"I would've never expected you to say something like that, Rory. I would've never done that to you," I state as I feel a solitary tear run down my cheek.
I can see she's regretting what she said, her eyes are begging me to forgive her in a million different ways.
But regret is not even close enough to what you need after bringing up my father.
"I thought this conversation would be good for us, 'our bond of eighteen years could never be broken by something that silly, right?' I thought. Right, yeah, right. You disgust me, Rory, in a way I could never describe to anyone. You out of everyone should know better about him, but you used him against me," I continue.
I can't even see anymore, my eyes are getting blurry because of the tears.
"Don't you dare be around me in any way, goodbye."
I pack my bag and stomp away, as tears are filling up my eyes making it hard to see the road.
What now? What about our friendship? What about the Gilmore-Quinn tradition? How can everything break so easily and so fast?
I start running home just as fast as the teardrops run down my face.
I arrive in the driveway and slam the front door shut, run up the stairs, and slam the bedroom door shut.
"He'll leave, he'll mess up and run away from his problems. Not that you're not used to it, but still."
How could Rory say such a thing?
I don't expect this kind of cruelty from her.
Besides, Jess won't leave me. Jess doesn't want to mess up, that means he's gotta move away and not see me ever again.
He said that himself.
He doesn't want to hurt me in any way, so he won't. That's it.
"Tell me what that ends up being like, by the way, if you need me to I can come over, too."
I need to call him.
"Hi, are you finished with the telling Rory thing?"
Rory's words echo again in my mind.
"He'll leave, he'll mess up and run away from his problems. Not that you're not used to it, but still."
My eyes sting and my nose is sniffly.
I sniffle and nod as if he could see me, "Yeah, can you come over?"
"Oh...I'll be right there."
"Thanks..."
✧✧✧
"𝐈 𝐂𝐀𝐌𝐄 𝐀𝐒 𝐅𝐀𝐒𝐓 𝐀𝐒 𝐈 could, what happened?" Jess asks entering my bedroom "Susan opened and told me she hasn't seen you crying like this in a really long time..."
I sniffle and softly grin "Ignore her..."
I'm lying on my bed facing the doorway.
"I will, do you want to talk about what happened?" he asks sitting in front of me.
"Yeah, but promise you won't judge me if I start crying."
"I absolutely won't, I promise," he nods and takes off his shoes as he lies down next to me.
"Ok, well, at first when I told her she didn't believe me. It just shocked her so much... then she asked me when I realized for the first time I wasn't going to choose Harvard."
"Which was the night of the car accident?"
"Not exactly, it's always been something I knew but you're the first person I've ever admitted it to... so she thought that me not willing to go there was somehow your fault."
"That's crazy!" he says scoffing.
"Exactly! I told her I knew long before you even came to town, and she asked me why I didn't tell her sooner and I said I was scared of how she would've reacted and that she was proving my point."
Jess looks genuinely interested in what I'm telling him.
I continue "She told me that she's not a baby and she can take it, so I told her 'Then take it, I'm not going to Harvard' because—" I stop myself because I feel like smiling, and when I do Jess smiles too.
"Why are you smiling?"
"I'm sorry, despite how terrible today was, I keep thinking about how I used to talk to Rory about our fights and now talking with you about the fight between me and Rory brings back memories."
"You used to talk about our fights with Rory?" he smiles mockingly.
"Of course, it's what girls do!" I reply, before getting reminded that I won't be able to do that anymore "Anyways, we stayed silent for a while and then she asked me why in the world I wouldn't want to go to Harvard and I said that it's been forced on me since we were kids and, y'know, I kinda went along with it..."
I continue "So, she started acting like the victim and I said to stop that because it wasn't some betrayal or anything I'm just going somewhere else."
"And you were right to do that..." he nods.
"And she asked me where I'm going, and I told her I'm not sure yet but maybe Yale. God forbid she would just simply accept it! No! She started telling me it was obvious and it's close to here so I could see you all the time! Implying that I'm letting you interfere with my college choice!"
"You would never do that! And I would never let you do that!" he furrows his eyebrows.
"Exactly! I told her I'm not taking anyone into account for this, if not myself and she still wasn't believing me."
"Does she know you at all?" he replies.
"That's what I told her! Does she really think I'd be so shallow? And she replied I was acting shallow because I was choosing you over her!" I reply "I told her she was being a baby and she said 'Oh, and you're such an adult!' so I told her I was adult enough to know that my choices about my future shouldn't be based on anything but my wishes!"
"I'm surprised Rory doesn't know that..." he says, knowing that Rory's college-obsessed and wouldn't let anyone but herself change her mind about Harvard.
"Yeah...she kept bringing up the fact I'm choosing you over her and I told her that not every single choice must revolve around her and her feelings. She said she was not upset about me going somewhere else but disappointed because I was choosing you over her, again!"
"She still wasn't getting it..." Jess notes.
"I repeated myself and she told me I'm gonna regret it because—"
"He'll leave, he'll mess up and run away from his problems. Not that you're not used to it, but still."
"Because?" Jess encourages me to continue.
"Because we all know how it's gonna end up between us and when it'll happen I will be wishing I had gone to Harvard."
"How could she say something like that?" Jess says disappointedly.
"Well, that's not even the worst part. Obviously, I was outraged about what she'd said and I asked her how it is gonna end up between us..." I can start feeling my eyes swelling up again with tears "And she said you'll leave me because you'll mess up and run away."
"What?" Jess sits up, his glance fixated on me, and reaches for me with his right arm to caress my arm "You know I would never do that."
"I do, I know, that's not what makes me cry. She brought up my father, saying I'm used to people messing up and running away."
"I can't believe it, come here..." Jess says opening his arms for a hug.
Being between Jess' arms makes me only tear up more "She knows better than anyone about my father, she knows how rough times were for me and my mom! And she's just bringing him up in arguments?"
"That's not ok, Quinn, she had no right to do that," he says kissing my right temple.
"And now everything's so fucked up, our friendship will never come back and I lost my best friend," I complain sobbing.
"Hey, if she dared to bring up that jerk in an argument knowing that's a painful spot for you, you haven't lost anyone. You got rid of someone."
"But it wasn't my intention to get rid of her..." I sniffle.
"But evidently, if your college choice is a reason to end your friendship, she doesn't care enough."
"Maybe you're right..."
"And, hey, I'm not saying she won't come to you and apologize. That still might happen...just don't beat yourself up for this because you have no fault."
"You're right! I have no fault!" I agree.
"You know what might cheer you up?" he says smirking knowingly.
"What?" I frown.
He slowly reaches for the top drawer of my nightstand and then swiftly opens it and snatches the journal.
"Let's read it!"
"No, no! That would actually make me feel worse."
"Come on! Please! We'll laugh about it, and you'll feel better."
"Doubt that..." I shake my head.
"Please?" he pleads.
I sigh exasperatedly and roll my eyes at him "Ugh, fine! But I choose the pages you get to read, okay?"
"As long as you let me read the page where you wrote about the first time you knew you liked me."
"Yeah, that's not gonna happen, it would be embarrassing for us both!" I try to convince him to let it go.
"We'll see, c'mon, pick a page!" he encourages me.
I go over to the page in which I wrote about the first time I met him and give it to him, he coughs to prepare his voice, sits up with his legs crossed, and then reads it out loud.
"Dear Becca, I have too much to say now," he says "By the way, I don't think you talk like this to a journal..." he mocks me.
"Shut up and keep reading!" I slap his leg.
"I got back from France yesterday night and this morning I was going to Luke's to have a cup of coffee and I ran into the most important gossip duo in town.
None other than Patty and Babette, they complimented my dress and asked how France was, and then filled me in about what happened while I was gone," he continues "And I was the only thing that happened while you were gone?"
"Stars Hollow is a small depressing town..." I shrug.
Jess nods and then fixes his gaze back on the page. "Well, some new kid arrived in town, Luke's nephew. I got to know him a little after I barged into Luke's and saw the Gilmore Girls, that's because Luke asked me to train him,
I did and he's quite fun, we talked and got to know each other, he's not chatty at first..."
Jess stops to glare at me and I reply "Hey, it's true! Do you remember the first thing you did after saying hi to Luke?"
"No, I don't, but I'm guessing I saw you and thought you were really pretty."
"Nice try, but no! You immediately tried to go upstairs and mind your business."
Jess ignores my reply and keeps reading
"Anyways, I went with Mom and Sue to the Gilmore's and we had dinner there. It was actually a sorta "welcome to town, Jess" kind of thing, but he tried to bail (he even invited me to go with him)," he stops "I did?"
"Do you remember anything about the first night we met each other?" I ask between giggles.
"Yes, but asking you to bail with me was stupid!"
"I know it was! Maybe you thought you would appear mysterious, I don't know!"
Jess shrugs "We had a little talk about the dinner and I told him he can act like himself around me, which is true," he says "That I remember!"
"You better remember that! I was so understanding with you, even though you were acting like a jerk that day!" I say with a veil of irony.
"I'll give you that," he agrees "I'm sure he's not like he seems, he's still adjusting and getting used to Stars Hollow, in which most of the people are nosy creeps smiling at you wherever you go.
I'm intrigued by him, that's all, I really wanna be friends with him."
"Little did I know..." I shrug.
"What else can I read?"
I take the journal from his hands and flip through the pages.
"Let's see..." I look at the dates, flip back and forth and choose to make him read the page in which I talk about the deb ball "Here..."
"Dear Becca, I did it. I debuted, Tristan was my escort and he complimented me despite his wild obsession with Rory," he reads "Yeah, over Rory..." he says glancing knowingly at me and I shake my head silently chuckling.
"Also, I went to the diner to have dinner with the girls and went upstairs to say hi to Jess...he was wearing Luke's "uniform" to annoy him, I really really wanted him to see me in the dress tonight. Am I weird? I mean, I just would've liked it, that's all," Jess looks at me mockingly "I'll tell you why you wanted me to see—"
"I know, I took my time realizing I liked you, okay?" I interrupt him.
"Okay..." he replies smirking "I told him how it went, I told him I was quite surprised about Tristan complimenting me and, since he hates Tristan (I'll explain that later), he said it's obvious that he did."
"About that, was that a flirting attempt?" I ask teasing him.
He shrugs "Who knows..." " 'Why is Jess not really fond of Tristan?' you might be wondering. Yeah, well, while me and Tristan were practicing our dancing for the deb ball Jess came to my house asking me to take a walk. Useless to say I couldn't...so he got mad... That's why he "hates" him, I think hating is a big big word."
"That's pretty much it..." I say, trying to get the journal back.
Jess suddenly stands up and flips a page, finding the entry in which I talk about liking him.
"Give it back!" I yell sitting up.
"Nope, wait..." he says trying to find the exact words "We talked, despite our fight, and I found out the reason for the fight between Jess and Presby. It was because of me. I did fatigue to make him speak, but he spat it out. I disinfected the wound on his face, and that's when I realized."
He emphasizes every word, acting dramatically.
"I'll break up with you," I threaten him.
"It felt wonderfully different, touching him I mean. Not in a cringy way, in a good way.
I realized how he looks so good, how amused it makes me that he got into a fight for me (that's a secret though). I realized that I like him," he says and then looks at me mockingly.
"Stop!" I throw a pillow in his way but he moves and the pillow misses "C'mon I don't like it when people read my stuff!"
"Relax, it's for fun, to be honest, I would've written worse stuff," he admits.
"Yeah, right..."
"Hey, if I'd thought no one would read it I would've written so much stuff about you, and, trust me, it would've been more embarrassing."
"How come you're only a softie when no one's looking?"
"Gotta keep the mysterious vibe going..." he quips.
"I figured..."
"Can I read something else?"
"You can read the next entry, but that's it!"
He flips the page over and widens his eyes "Woah, you've written a lot!"
"It was an almost six-month summary... of course it's long," I shrug.
"Can I also read one Jess entry?" he asks pleadingly.
"Nope, it's either this or a Jess entry..."
"Is the summary including those last days before the accident?"
"I believe it is, why?"
"Then I'll read the summary," he says.
"Just, not out loud please..."
"Okay," he nods and then starts reading.
I admire as his face contorts focused on the journal entry, he looks so good when he's focused.
He points at the diary and nods "I remember that!"
"What?"
"Our fight at the Bid-A-Basket festival, when you said I was just a friend..."
"Yeah, must've killed you," I tease him.
"Shut up..." he shakes his head and goes back to reading.
"I didn't think you'd noticed that!" he exclaims.
"What now?"
"Me calling you 'my girl', I thought you hadn't heard that."
"Oh, I had. You fucking confused me so much when you did that!"
"I knew I would, but someone needed to take a stand!" he says.
"I know, those were tense days the ones before the accident and the one in New York..."
"That was my way to make a move," he admits.
"Why didn't you ask me on a date or something? Everything had to be complicated..."
Jess shrugs and starts reading again "So that's what you were trying to do! I wanted to ask you in New York but I didn't want things to get weird," he says, referring to the almost-kiss in Rory's car.
"Thank God you didn't ask me! I was freaking out, coming to New York was quite bold..."
"Yes, it was...but you had to do something!" he says and then turns back to the page, when he reads about how angry I was with everyone, including him when he left to go live in New York he looks at me faking an angry look.
"What?" I smile at his childish glare.
"My note was nice!" he replies acting offended.
"Sure, sure..." I look at him, letting him know I'm purely sarcastic, and open my mouth to speak "C'mon! You can't say I couldn't be expecting more, we had almost kissed!"
"Correction, ma'am, I didn't know that that was what you were trying to do..."
"Still! You could've said more!"
"He'll leave, he'll mess up and run away from his problems. Not that you're not used to it, but still."
Is there actually gonna be a next time he'll run away and leave a note? I can't stop thinking about what Rory said.
"What's going on?" he asks, noticing my sad glance.
"I'm sorry, I just remembered the argument with Rory and got lost in the memory..." I sigh.
"Don't be, remember, it's not your fault," he says, sitting next to me.
"It hasn't got anything to do with blame, it's her words that are haunting me..."
"It's understandable..." he reaches for my chin with his hand and makes me look at him "But she's not right, and you know that."
"I hope she's not. I mean, I know you would never do anything and then run away intentionally. But who knows what the future holds for us..."
"I'll tell you what the future holds for us! I'm not planning on breaking up with you soon, or messing up and leaving, okay?"
"I know—" I reply.
"Great, so, you know that. Stop thinking about this too much, we're happy like this and Rory can't predict the future!"
"You're right..."
"I know I'm right!"
✧✧✧
𝐈 𝐖𝐀𝐊𝐄 𝐔𝐏 𝐓𝐎 𝐌𝐘 𝐌𝐎𝐌 screaming "I'm home, girls!"
"Crap!" I whisper, looking over at Jess who's just reading a book next to me "How long has it been since I've fallen asleep?"
"About two hours..." he replies closing the book and leaving it on my nightstand "Why?".
"And you stayed here all this time?" I ask after having rubbed my sleepy eyes.
"Of course! I couldn't let you sleep here alone and leave!"
"What book were you reading?" I point at it.
"The Goblet of Fire," he admits.
"You're so cute!" I exclaim.
"Stop it, no. I was just curious about the next book."
"You were not! You like the saga, admit it!"
"Never," he states.
Mom opens the door to my bedroom and widens her eyes when she finds me lying with my head on Jess' shoulder and his arm around my hips.
"Oh, okay, hi! Jess, I didn't know you'd be here..." Mom tries to keep her cool.
"Yeah, I called him, is it a problem?" I ask her.
"No, no...it's cool! I was just concerned because you and Sue usually come downstairs and say hi when I get back from work..."
"I know, sorry, I fell asleep..." I admit.
"Oh, okay...is everything okay? You look a little off," she frowns at me.
"I'll explain later..." I sit up and look at Jess who's been silent this whole time.
"I— I'll take off," he nods at us and gets up to leave.
"Yeah..." I get up and follow him "I'll call you later."
"Sure, talk to you later," he says, getting closer to kiss me. When he notices Mom's still here, he decides it's better to go for the cheek instead. "Bye."
"Bye," I look at him as he walks in front of my mother.
"Good evening, ma'am..." he says.
"Goodbye, Jess..." she replies, glancing at me in a way that's saying 'I'm about to burst out laughing'.
When we close the door behind him Mom looks at me laughing non-stop.
"Did he call me ma'am?" she giggles in between the words.
"You intimidated him! He didn't know how to act, he was embarrassed—" I explain, defending him.
"Weren't you supposed to be studying at Rory and Lorelai's?" she points at me as she remembers.
"Yeah, I was..." I admit as my gaze darkens.
"How long has Jess been here for?" she frowns.
"About three to four hours," I sigh, knowing she'll figure something's wrong.
"Why weren't you studying with Rory then?"
"Sit down, I'll tell you..."
✧✧✧
hi there! so sorry for my absence but between my studying trip in brighton, the sadness because i didn't wanna come back, and catching up with my friends i had zero time or inspiration to write anything😭😭😭
i tried to do it sometimes but with very very bad results, i've been working on the chapter i was on for sooo long these past few days and now it's finally written and done!! that means i can update the story with this one!!
i'm so happy to be back!!
i hope you liked this chapter, i personally think it's not that bad and i'm very self-judgmental about the way i write🥲
thank you so so so so much for the 27k views, i'm so glad you're enjoying this so far!!💘
i hope to be back with a new chapter sooner this time!!
love y'all tonss!!!
-sof🫶🏻