Alex sat curled up on her bed, fists pressing into temples as she tried to muffle the tirade of insults Morgan had been shouting in her head since before dawn. Her eyes stung with tears and her breathing came in shallow gasps as the short circuit in her brain threatened to engulf her.
She regretted making her bargain with Cale. The brothers' presence at night allowed her to sleep without bad dreams. Last night, the nightmares had racked her sleep and set her up for a short circuit to start this morning.
She had never had a short circuit on the Anolis home world and had almost forgotten them. But now the noise in her head was so loud that she barely heard the knock on her door.
Gabe knocked on the door of Alex's room, his knuckles hitting the wood with a booming thud. "Alex, I want to talk to you," he called through the thick barrier.
"No," she shouted back.
He said with roiling frustration, "You must leave that room in your dwelling at some time."
"What part of 'no' didn't you understand?" Alex asked, pressing her fingertips into her temples as if to ward off a headache. "Unless there's a mission, go away."
Gabe hiss-growled and stalked out of the apartment.
"He's gone," Rile said to the closed door.
"Yippee." Alex collapsed onto the bed, her body relieved and all energy drained from her. The chaotic chatter in her head had been silenced and the short circuit was now over.
"Please come out."
"No, I'm done. Leave me be."
You and your brother fight enough. You're not fighting over trash like me.
"That Razz was sure a little runt," Rile called out. "I can't believe he thinks he can accomplish anything. He'll probably screw up raising his babies." Rile sprinted for the door, opened it, ran through it and slammed it. He stomped down the stairs to his apartment with unnecessary force to annoy Alex further.
Alex barged into the brothers' living room, eyes blazing with anger. "Don't you talk bad about Razz!" she shouted.
"Make me." He mockingly bowed towards the training mat that he had set up in the center of the room. As Cale sat in a corner, his claws clicked nervously against one another as he watched them prepare to spar.
Rile turned to Alex, his voice hard. "Keep your hands up. They're too low to block well." He gestured at Alex's arms, which were currently half-lowered in readiness.
Cale stepped forward, worry etched into his expression. "Please take it easy," he begged. "Alex left the hospital only days ago."
Rile didn't back down. "Alex will not get better sitting on the couch. She needs conditioning, as well as training in sword, staff, and dagger, if she is to stand a chance against Hermann and that agency that created her."
Alex's jaw set in determination despite her obvious discomfort. "Thanks for talking about me like I wasn't here," she said.
Rile advanced with quick jabs that she blocked efficiently.
"Keep 'em up," he said, but soon enough her guard dropped again.
His response was immediate; he drove forward and hit through Alex's too-low hands. She stumbled backwards and slammed into the corner wall before dropping to her knees.
"Did you have to slam me against the wall?" Alex gasped. "That dagger wound still has sutures in it."
Cale jumped up to help her and raked Rile with an appropriate glare.
"You deserved a dagger in the lung. What were you thinking, chatting to someone who wanted to kill you?" Rile said, returning Cale's look. "You kill or disable your opponent, rather than tell her how anticlimactic your fight was."
Alex winced as she clumsily plopped onto the couch. Gabe burst into the room, his gaze wild and searching. He rushed to her side, and when he eased her hand away from her back, an unmistakable scent of fresh blood reached all their nostrils.
"I tripped. When I reached out to steady myself, I must have popped a stitch or two," Alex said.
Rile and Cale said nothing at Alex's cover story.
"Cale, fetch the first aid kit. Let me see, Alex." Gabe gently pulled up the edge of her shirt. "You're right. The edge of the wound is open. Hand me the gauze." Gabe dabbed at the wound once he had the gauze and Alex sucked in her breath. "I'm sorry," he said.
"For what?" she asked, hope filling her expression.
He's sorry about Cla. He's sorry he didn't include me in the team. He's sorry he didn't treat me like a full Guardian.
"That you were hurt," Gabe replied, still dabbing the wound, not looking at her face.
"Oh," Alex said.
That hope just died.
"It's part of the job description," she continued, her tone sharp and challenging.
Gabe's jaw tightened and his eyes flashed as he stepped closer to Alex. "No, it's not. You should have stayed inside the Institute as ordered."
Alex held up her chin defiantly, her hands curling into fists at her sides. "This is my fault now?" With a sudden burst of energy, she jerked away from Gabe and grabbed three staffs from the wall. "Prove it." She tossed staffs to Rile and Gabe with an air of confidence, then swiftly spun around and jabbed a quick strike towards Gabe's midsection. "If it hadn't been for your girlfriend, I wouldn't have gotten hurt."
Cale groaned and slumped in a chair, while Rile smiled knowingly and leaned back.
"We need to go," Cale whispered under his breath, but Rile shrugged it off with a mischievous glint in his eye.
"I've been waiting for this argument so I can enjoy it," he whispered back.
"And take advantage of it," Cale hissed furiously but stopped when Gabe spoke.
Gabe's voice was firm as he spoke. "Cla wasn't my girlfriend. I had a mission to accomplish and I did."
Alex, her face furious, hauled back her staff and swung with all her might, connecting directly with Gabe's. The impact sent a shudder through the weapon and nearly tore it from Gabe's grip.
Stepping away, Alex shook her head in disgust. "What you endure for the mission," she snarled, then lunged forward again, a side swing catching Gabe square in the ribs. "There must be a high supply of Guardians if you have sex to save the world."
Rile let out a hearty laugh and clapped his hands together. "Good one," he said, flashing Cale a wide smile.
Cale snatched up his own staff and tried to jab him. "Let's go back to our apartment, now."
"I wouldn't miss this for a portal back home. You go. I'm staying," Rile replied, swatting away Cale's staff.
Gabe took a deep breath before speaking. That didn't come out right. It's complicated for males. There was so much going on, and this powerful physical attraction between Cla and myself."
Rile's eyes widened in surprise, and Cale winced at the implication. "Uh, way too much information," he muttered, shaking his head ruefully. "As the humans say."
Alex flicked her staff and Gabe's feet were swept from under him with a loud thud. He sprawled on the ground, and she stood tall, pointing her staff accusingly at him. "That's what this is about: sexual attraction," she accused.
Gabe clambered back to his feet and waved away Rile's sniggering. His face was flushed, but he kept his voice steady as he spoke. "No, it has nothing to do with that."
"Keep digging, Gabe; the hole is almost deep enough," Rile heckled from the sidelines.
Ignoring the comment, Gabe calmly raised his wooden practice staff and expertly parried Alex's thrust.
"Cale, was this 'physical compatibility' irresistible? Did you and Deela—" Alex started.
"No, we did not! Leave me out of this," Cale called as he ran and hid in the kitchen.
Gabe's mouth twisted in a grimace and he clenched his staff, knuckles turning white. "Alex, I'm sorry. The mission was too important, and it had to be done, no matter what the circumstances."
"Oh, now you had to have sex. Well, Cale and Rile didn't have to." Alex feinted and her thrust hit Gabe's chest hard.
Rile's face split into a wide, wolfish grin as he circled Gabe, staff poised and ready to strike. When Gabe rocked backward on his heels from the blow Alex had dealt him, Rile lunged forward, sweeping his staff in a low arc with the intent of tripping Gabe.
Gabe blocked Rile and gave a savage riposte. "Look what happened to him. The mission would have failed if I had acted like the perfect Rile."
"I saved Rile and we completed the mission just fine," Alex answered. She ignored the bloodstain creeping down the back of her shirt.
"You didn't save me," Rile said, offended, and his swing smacked painfully into her thigh.
"I most certainly did. Ask Mina." Alex looked in no mood to stroke Rile's ego and launched a series of rapid blows at him. "Ask everyone in that amphitheater who watched as I battled that witch for you."
Gabe furrowed his brow. "So, while we're on the subject of Rile, what do you have to say about sleeping with him after that impressive rescue? Seems like all the Anolis males couldn't stop talking about it," he said in an accusatory tone, not above attacking Rile at the same time as Alex.
Alex's cheeks flushed pink with indignation. "That was different and you know it. We only slept next to, not with, each other. We were both in hostile territory and had no one else to rely on." She jabbed her staff toward Gabe's chest, trying to match his intensity.
"Was that really all?" Gabe asked in a nasty tone and blocked all of Alex's strikes.
"Yes. Just sleeping next to, not with. I swear it." Alex stopped dancing around him, giving her a moment to steady her labored breathing before she answered. She touched her wound and then swept her bloody hand across her forehead.
Let Gabe see my blood that his girlfriend spilled.
"There is more you need to know. Rile, why don't you tell her?" Gabe asked. Two thrusts and a sweep left Rile bruised.
"Don't do this, Gabe," Rile warned, desperation tainting each word like poison. With renewed vigor, he threw himself against Gabe, staff flying. But an unexpected jab connected with Rile's chest, the impact winding him momentarily.
"Now you have something to hide. Not so perfect now, are you?" Gabe landed another strike on Rile.
"Gabe, Rile, what is this about?" Alex asked, considering how best to attack the two of them at once and not be slaughtered.
Gabe's staff quivered in his grasp as he pointed it at Rile. His jaw was tense, eyes narrowed and lips pursed in a thin line. "Tell her, Rile. Tell her what happens after she falls asleep."
Rile swatted it aside and his riposte almost struck Gabe's gut.
"Tell me, Rile. It's too late to hide anything now," Alex said.
Rile swallowed hard before meeting Alex's gaze. His expression softened as he looked down on her. "Alex, it's not what you think."
"I don't know what to think," Alex answered, taking advantage of his hesitation to smack his thigh, as he had done to her.
"It's not what you are going to think," Rile amended and stepped back.
"Tell her, Rile. Tell her what happened every night you slept with her. Because it was with, not next to," Gabe ordered again, following through with a thrust that Rile expertly blocked.
Rile looked away from Alex, ostensibly to concentrate on Gabe. "After you fall asleep, you start to ... well, your skin starts to shimmer like tiny stars against the mattress."
"Oh." She was still puzzled and held her staff in a defensive position. "What does that mean?" She could feel a pin-drop silence settle around them as Rile fumbled for words. His face twisted in thought.
Gabe's stern glare sent a chill down her spine as he spoke again. "It means much more than mere comfort." Gabe lunged forward and blocked Rile's movement.
Oh! You mean... oh!" Horror replaced the perplexity on Alex's face. "And you... and you too... none of you ever saw fit to tell me this?" Alex turned on Gabe and landed three strikes about his head and torso.
"I've never seen or felt anything sexual from you, Alex," Cale protested as he came out of the kitchen from where he had been hiding and watching. "I swear on my eggshell."
Gabe's face twitched as he addressed Alex, his words dripping with contempt. He exhaled a bitter laugh and gestured around him. "I didn't need to tell you. But Rile should have. Do you think he really loves you? Rile has always envied everything of mine and tried to steal it. He had a taste of that glow and he'll never rest until he snatches it from me. He only cares about his own pleasure and taking everything of mine."
"Typical Gabe. You act like everything and everyone is your possession." Rile jumped to his feet and began hurling strikes at Gabe, herding him towards the wall. "I love Alex for being smart and strong and sacrificing herself for others, not because of some neuro-electric sex. Alex?" His tone softened as he shifted his focus to Alex, but her brown eyes were blazing with hostility. The fury on Alex's face gave him pause. "Alex, you don't believe Gabe, do you?" Rile asked, and, when she didn't answer, he demanded, "Alex, after all we went through together, tell me you don't believe him."
"I don't know what to believe," she said, her voice rising in pitch and volume as she advanced on Rile, her staff spinning in circles. Her eyes were clouded with confusion, rage, and the insanity that haunted her over all matters sexual.
Rile felt his head whip left and right as the flurry of strikes rained down on him. He was too slow to block more than a couple. When he felt a particularly hard hit to the side of his head, stars burst in his vision and the world spun. He fell to the ground, dimly aware that two Cales had stepped between him and two enraged Alexes.
"Stop, Alex! He's already on the ground and if you don't stop now, you might just kill him. Yes, he's a jerk but I'd rather have him alive!" Cale shouted.
"Talk to me after you've been raped, Cale!"
He swung his staff hard against hers, sending her several feet away. "You know nothing about me, Alex," he said through gritted teeth.
"What do you know about rape, Agama male?"
"I know you weren't raped by Rile. You were used as he enjoyed your power. He should have told you, but he didn't," Cale said. Cale raised his staff again in warning, but softened his voice. "I know that what happened to you wasn't rape, Alex," he said sorrowfully. "Rile didn't force himself upon you; instead he enjoyed your power while you were vulnerable. He should have warned you of the consequences but he chose not to."
Alex struck back hard, but Cale stood firm.
"You don't know anything about it!" Alex shouted.
Cale's face darkened with rage and he stepped closer, trapping her against the wall. His voice was a rumbling growl. "I know all about it. When a young warrior in training goes missing for two weeks, and makes up a story about 'nearly being captured', it's taken for granted it was a true story. That trainee won't admit to his family that he was tortured and abused by more than a dozen enemy warriors, gloating they had captured the green-hided bastard son of a Clan Head."
Alex blinked, his mouth agape, as Gabe and Rile stood motionless, transfixed on Cale. The room felt heavy with the silent shock that had settled in.
"Rile used you. He didn't rape you. It was wrong, but he barely touched you. You didn't even know until Gabe told you. Rile and Gabe, both of you should have bloody told Alex. Gabe, mind your own bloody business, and start being a leader. I swore that no one would ever know." He paused for breath before continuing. "I don't blame you, Alex, but you can't blow up, out of control, forever at everything sexual."
With a deep sigh and an exhaustion heavy in his voice, Cale concluded with, "Now if you'll excuse me, I've had enough of you for a while. I need some alone time before I smack one of you." His hands shook as he slammed his staff to the ground, causing a loud thud to reverberate throughout the room. Alex winced at the sound, while Rile and Gabe stood their ground, both refusing to look away. Cale marched out of the room without looking back.
Alex dropped her staff at Gabe and Rile's feet, her expression murderous. She then whirled around and stalked after Cale, her fists clenched so tightly that her nails dug into her palms.
Rile waited until the door was closed. "Gabe?"
"Yes, Rile?"
"We really screwed up."
"Yes, we did, Rile. Yes, we did."
****
A/N
I still feel guilty about what I did to Cale. He did not deserve that.
Dedicated to