last chapter! epilogue to come💜
❁ CHAPTER 21 ❁
UNPLANNED
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That night, in your apartment with Taehyung, it had taken only one second after he kissed you for you to take a giant step back, out of his grip.
"Tae, no- I'm... that's not what I-" you tried to explain to him. "I'm not..."
But Taehyung was already dismissing it. "Shit - no, it's okay, you don't have to explain," he said, shaking his head. "That was really stupid, I'm sorry."
It was quiet for a long, tense moment, as a very ugly thought came to you.
"Is this..." you began in a whisper, hoping beyond anything that what you were about to ask wasn't true. "Is this why you're here? Why you want to see Nari?"
"What? No!" Taehyung insisted, his amber eyes going wide with alarm. "I swear - I'm sorry, I didn't even think about kissing you when I came here. It was just... in the moment, I thought... but I was wrong. I'm sorry. I'm here for Nari, I promise."
You could see, from the open expression on his face, that he was telling the truth.
"Okay," you breathed out, stomach unknotting just a little. "I... I'm sorry, Tae, it's not because you're not... well, you know you're handsome, it's just-"
"It's Namjoon, right?" he finished your sentence with a knowing smile, and you gazed at him with wide eyes now. "I sort of guessed from the fact that you called me to get Nari, and not him. Is everything okay with you guys?"
You shrugged. "Honestly... I don't know. I hope so."
He smiled sadly, reaching for his jacket. "I hope so too. You two always were thick as thieves when we were younger."
You grinned, remembering the way Namjoon had comforted you that morning in Thailand, when Taehyung had left.
"Are we okay?" Taehyung asked you earnestly. "I'm really sorry about that. It was dumb."
You shook your head, dismissing it. "It's fine. We're okay."
His boxy grin returned to his face, and he reached for his jacket, making to leave. A sudden thought came to you, and you furrowed your brow.
"Tae," you began slowly. "Were you in Seoul this morning when I called you?"
Taehyung paused as he pulled on his jacket. "Why do you ask?"
"Because you're shooting in Daegu right now," you replied, knowingly. "You drove here from Daegu, didn't you?"
Taehyung looked at the floor sheepishly, as if not wanting to admit it. "Well... maybe, but-"
You cut him off with a huge hug, squeezing him tight. "Thank you," you said. "I know you're trying to prove you'll be there for Nari. She loves having you around."
Taehyung seemed to soften at that, and when you pulled back, you grinned at him.
"She does?" he asked, hopefully.
You nodded. "Yes. But Tae - if you're gonna do this," you said now, in a more serious tone. "You have to be in it for the long-haul, okay? I... I grew up with parents who didn't give a shit about me. You can't just be here for a few months and then change your mind. This is a lifetime deal. Are you ready for that?"
You thought he might pause, the way he did in the hospital room four years ago. But his reply was immediate.
"I am," he said firmly. "I promise."
"Okay," you nodded, emotions choking your throat a little at the thought of Taehyung becoming a regular presence in Nari's life. "Let's do this properly then. I think you should file for joint custody."
Taehyung's eyes went wide, but not out of terror. He just looked excited.
"Really? You mean that?"
"Yeah," you replied. "I mean, you've been making regular payments since she was born, you've been nothing but reliable the last few months. I'll vouch for you. The court will send someone to assess you and it might take a while, but if you're prepared to wait..."
Taehyung was already nodding vigorously. "Yes," he said, unable to contain his smile, and now he was the one who seemed to be letting his emotions get the best of him as his voice thickened. "Yes - fuck. Thank you."
You punched his arm teasingly. "Look at you, Kim Taehyung. You're going soft. Driving all the way across Korea for a unicorn-obsessed four-year-old."
Taehyung laughed, wiping his eyes. "Aish, you also said you were really sick. Forgive me for being concerned."
You conceded. "I'll give you that. I was so unwell. Actually, the last time I remember being that sick was when I was preg-"
You stopped in your tracks.
"Hang on," your blood ran cold. Taehyung's eyes widened.
"Oh shit," he said. "Are you-?"
"I think I might be," you whispered now, quickly doing the mental mathematics to calculate when your last period was. It was before you had slept with Namjoon, definitely, making your period a week or so late. Not late enough to know for certain, but enough to have an inkling.
Oh shit.
Again?!
"Is it bad to say I'm extremely relieved it's not mine this time?" Taehyung joked with a huge boxy smile. You had laughed, and then let him draw you into another hug. "Seriously, though. Congratulations."
Tears welled in your eyes against Taehyung's shoulder. "Thank you."
You were having a baby.
With Namjoon.
You had spent the two days since wondering how you were going to break the news to him - and doing a pregnancy test, to make sure - but eventually, you had given up planning.
You loved him, and he loved you. You didn't need frills or grand gestures.
Hence why you were standing in front of him right now, his mouth hanging open at the news, and you felt so happy you thought you might pass out.
"Joonie?" you asked after a moment more of silence. "You okay?"
"I'm sorry," he swallowed hard, gazing at you with deep coffee eyes. "I think I might need you to repeat what you just said."
You laughed, stepping a little closer to him. "Funny - we're both very intelligent people, and yet neither of us bothered to think about protection."
Namjoon let out a puff of air. The colour had drained from his face.
"Are you sure?" he asked, his koala eyes wide with shock and earnest. "Really?"
"Yes," you nodded, smiling, knowing he was confused about how casual you were being. "We're having a baby, Joonie. So I think maybe you should just accept that I'm certain. That I'm all in."
Namjoon seemed to soften a little at your repetition of his own words, but he still had his doubts.
"But... what about Taehyung? I saw he was... at your apartment the other day," he said, looking away.
You blinked. "You came to my apartment?"
He nodded.
"I got your text," he explained. "I wanted to talk."
"Oh," you realised that Namjoon must have seen that Taehyung was in your apartment through the window, and could only imagine the conclusions he had drawn. "He was looking after Nari while I was sick. We decided... we're going to file for joint custody."
Namjoon stiffened at this, but you carried on.
"I think he can be trusted," you continued, seeing the uncertainty cross Namjoon's face. "I hope I'm right. The courts will want to see a whole heap of proof before they grant him custody anyway. But I want you to be happy with this too, Joonie."
Even before Namjoon replied to this, you could predict what he would say. "Does it matter if I'm happy?"
"Yes," you said firmly, taking another step closer to him. "It does. Because you're her stepfather, and her sibling's father, and she loves you. And I love you. So yes, your opinion matters very much."
"I'm not her stepfather," Namjoon replied after a moment, though he looked affected by your words. "Not really."
"No?" you let the side of your mouth crook upwards. "Let's change that."
His eyebrow quirked upward at you. "What do you mean?"
"Joonie, when I found out I was having this baby, I wasn't scared at all," you told him. "I thought I would be, because being pregnant with Nari was terrifying. But this... this just feels right. Being a family with you feels right, because we've been one without knowing it. All this time."
You reached for his hand, linking your fingers with his, and he let you.
"You wanted me to be sure that I love you? Well, here it is," you continued, squeezing his hand. "I want to marry you, Kim Namjoon. For real this time."
"Shit," he cursed instinctively at your words, eyes widening. "Really?"
"Is that a yes?" you giggled, but Namjoon was already moving.
His hands went to your face, tilting your mouth up to meet his, and it felt like waking up and falling into a deep sleep all at once. You melted into him, arms going around his broad, warm chest, grasping his t-shirt between your hands. When he pulled away, you stayed there, lips brushing, for a long time.
"Yes," he gasped, between peppering kisses to your lips, letting you move your arms up around his neck. "Yes, I'll marry you."
You smiled and kissed him again, deep and slow this time, savouring the taste you'd gotten addicted to and craved all month.
"I'm sorry," he murmured against your lips when he pulled away again, "for how long I was away. For being so difficult about Taehyung. I was just-"
"-Looking out for Nari, I know," you finished for him, smiling, knowing you had already forgiven him. "You always were a great father figure to her."
He grinned. "I love her," he admitted earnestly. "Like she's my own."
You nodded. "I know."
"But if you think Taehyung is up for this," he said, studying your face for any signs of hesitation as he stroked a thumb along your cheek. "Then I'm happy too. We can do this together."
A wave of relief and happiness washed over you at his words, and you couldn't contain it any longer, having spent the last four weeks wanting to scream it from the mountains.
"Joonie, I love you," you said, stroking his jaw. "I really love you, you oblivious butthead."
Namjoon laughed, the sight of his dimples after all this time a familiar comfort. He pulled you into his apartment, shutting the front door and pressing you against it gently, gazing down at you.
"I can't believe it," he murmured, as if it were some hidden secret between the two of you. "You're having a baby."
"I'm having your baby," you corrected him. This correction seemed to spook him a little, and you realised his hands were trembling against your cheek.
"Hey," you reached for his t-shirt, gripping it gently to reassure him. "I've never met anyone so ready for this. You're going to be an incredible father. You already are."
Namjoon let out a deep breath, and gave you a small smile.
"You will need to dial it back on the lavish birthday parties though," you teased him in mock seriousness. "No more unicorn face painters, okay?"
Namjoon laughed, his worries eased. "No promises."
He kissed you once more, lighter this time, like a gentle promise. When he pulled away, a tear rolled down his cheek, and you realised you were crying too.
"You and me, Joonie," you murmured, resting your forehead against his.
He grinned at your old saying, the one you'd been using since you were in university. Before he kissed you again, he finished it.
"Yes, angel," he murmured. "Always."
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