Chapter Forty Three
After we broke the kiss we stood there, foreheads touching, our heavy breathing filling the otherwise silent hallway. Just as I was about to say something he pulled back. His hands left my face, and I opened my eyes to look at him. He was looking at me as if he was seeing a ghost for the first time. "Sirius?" I asked, curious to his sudden change in behaviour. He opened and closed his mouth as if he was going to speak, and then suddenly he was running away.
I stood there dazed, looking at where he was standing just seconds ago, processing everything that had just happened. Had I really just kissed Sirius Black. I started walking, no destination. Part of me knew I had to go to my next class, the other just felt numb. It had taken a few seconds for my brain to catch up but then it hit me. He fucking left.
I didn't hear the person calling my name until I felt a hand on my shoulder. Stopping in my tracks I turned around to see who the hand belonged to. It was Remus.
"Prim, are you alright?" I turned to look at him absolutely livid. "I'm doing fucking fantastic." I replied in the most sarcastic tone ever. Remus just looked at me before grabbing my hand. "Come on, let's go." I let him pull me, to whatever place he had in mind.
We stopped in front of a door I didn't recognize, and I followed in after Remus opened it. "We're in the prefects lavatory, no one will find us here." He said after noticing my confusion. "Now will you tell me what happened?" and so I did.
I told him everything from Sirius's cornering me, the arguing, the shouting, and finally the kiss and what he had done after. He never once interrupted while I was talking. Not once did he give me a sign as to what he was thinking. He took all in and then he spoke.
"Don't move. I'm going to look for Alice." After a while he came back with Alice in tow. "Alright so what's it going to be?"Alice exclaimed walking in. I looked at her confused. "You know, chop his dick off?" I laughed, guessing Remus told her. Then her face lit up. "I have an even better idea. Shave off all his hair. I bet that would hurt him a lot more." I kept laughing as Alice kept spewing preposterous ways to 'make him pay'. "How do you feel about arson?" She gave me a cheeky smile.
"NO!" Remus yelled. "You stay here and I don't know, keep having your girl talk and let me deal with it." In all honesty with every new idea Alice came up with he grew a little worried that we might actually end up murdering him.
Although Remus's plans for Sirius weren't that much different. As he angrily walked the halls of the castle, every single person moved out of his way. No one had ever seen Remus Lupin this mad, and if his whole stance radiated anger then something must be truly wrong.
When he finally reached his common room, he saw only Peter and James. "Where is he? I'm going to fucking kill him." He asked fuming. "Who?" Peter asked and just then the person he was looking for walked in. Sirius cautiously walked up to him. "Moony, before you do anything let me —" but Sirius was interrupted by a right hook straight to the face. "Moony what the hell?" Shouted James, but Remus ignored him lunging for his friend. "You fucking dickhead!" Remus yelled at him as he was being pulled away by the other two.
"Alright I deserve it." Sirius said standing up, cradling his face. "You deserve a lot worse!" Remus spat, lunging again but James stopped him once more. "Can you tell us what the fuck is going on?" James asked. "Will you tell them or should I?" Remus asked Sirius, who only looked at the ground in shame. "Tell us what?" Peter asked. "This fucking dickhead kissed Prim and then ran like a fucking coward." The angrier he got, the more prominent Remus's Welsh accent came to the surface.
"You kissed her?" "You ran away?" James and Peter asked simultaneously. "Why the fuck will you do something like that Padfoot?!" Peter exclaimed. Sirius looked at his friends. "I don't know!" He yelled and Remes scoffed. "You'll need a much better explanation than 'I don't know' if you want to keep all your teeth." Remus snarled.
Sirius spoke again. "I panicked okay!" Peter looked at him confused. "You panicked?" He asked, still unsure how this was a better explanation than the previous one. James sighs. "Pads, I don't think that's any better."
Sirius let out a defeated sigh. He knew he had done wrong, but he didn't know how to fix it."It's just that I like her. I really do, but I don't have a fucking clue about how to deal with this." He said. Gesturing with his hands.
"Try not running away after kissing her?" Peter suggested. "It's not that simple Wormtail." Sirius said exasperated. "But it actually is Pads. She likes you, you like her back. End of story." James added.
"You know she felt like it was her fault you got hurt that night." Remus added. "She was beating herself up for it. Said she was willing to put your safety over hers had she known what would happen. You know who does that Sirius? People who love you."
Sirius's neck snapped to look at his friend. He started shaking his head. "No. No. Seriously, I don't know what kind of elaborate prank you four have planned but it's not funny. It's not, it's just some kind of cruel joke." He was still convinced his friends had learned about his crush and thought it funny to take advantage of it.
All three of them gave him a pained look. "Is it really that hard to believe she likes you?" James asked. This felt strongly like deja vu for Sirius. How many times would he need to hear it before actually believing it?
"Yes." He answered. "Why?" Remus retorted, but Sirius said nothing. "Answer the question Sirius." Remus pressed. "Okay alright hold on Moony." James interrupted, trying to keep the tension at bay. "Because I'm not the type of person someone falls in love with." Finally Sirius exclaimed.
Hearing his friend's own deprecating thoughts, Remus's anger subsided a little. "Pads —" James tried to find the right word to tell his friend. "No you know what, just forget it." And with that Sirius left the room, leaving behind three boys who had no clue what to do next or how to help their friends.
After so many hours James finally managed to find Sirius in the Astronomy Tower. "I don't want another lecture Prongs." Sirius spoke up without looking at James.
James said nothing and sat down beside him. After a few seconds of silence he asked. "Do you really like her Pads?" Keeping his gaze focused on the grounds below Sirius answered. "More than you could imagine" "Then you better find a way to apologise because you royally fucked up." James said, patting him on the back.
***
After that little incident with Sirius it was back to square one. Back to ignoring him, back to pretending I don't have feelings for him. As if what he didn't leave me feeling confused and angry beyond reason.
The OWL's were a welcomed distraction, the perfect excuse to hide in the library to 'study'. The only place in this whole castle I knew Sirius would rather kiss the giant squid than go to. Remus, Peter and James had all come to check on me. Not once did they ask how I was doing, or begged me to talk to Sirius and I appreciated it.
"Come on Prim, you have to come." Alice insisted. There was a party in the Gryffindor common room to celebrate their victory against Slytherin in the quidditch match earlier today. All houses were invited, of course Alice wanted to go, and she just deemed necessary to drag me too. Even though clearly Gryffindor Tower is the last place I want to be in.
"Over my dead body." I answered dully not even looking up from my book. She rolled her eyes groaning. "Come on, you can't hide forever." I shut my book and turned to look at her. "Not forever, just until the year is over and I don't have to see that insufferable dog for a long time." I snapped. Truthfully I'm not angry, I'm hurt, but anger is better than dealing with my heart break.
"You won't even see him. The room is going to be filled with people, and if you do manage to run into him we'll just pretend he doesn't exist. Please Prim, you need this." She begged, giving me her biggest puppy eyes. I sighed. "Fine. I'll go." She jumped up squealing. "That's the spirit."
Once we were all dolled up Alice and I walked to Gryffindor Tower. The party was already in full swing when we arrived, and I felt myself being dragged straight to the drinks table by my best friend. For most of the night I stuck close to Alice, Frank and their friends. They were nice people, but I mostly missed MY friends. I would occasionally catch sight of them, they were laughing, singing, having a great fucking time, even him, while I was feeling crushed.
After a few hours I needed a break. Giving the room a quick scan I found an empty armchair in the corner of the room. Quietly leaving the group I was with, I walked towards it. I sat down, laid my head back and closed my eyes. I was starting to regret ever agreeing coming to this party.
"There you are." I looked up to see Peter. "Hey Wormy." He just stood there anxiously fidgeting. "What is it Pete?" He bit his lip before answering. "It's Sirius." I rolled my eyes and stood up. "You can tell him to fuck off." I said standing up already fed up with this party, but Peter stopped me. "Wait Paws. He's pissed out of his mind, refuses to let us take him up to our dorm, and he keeps asking for you." I looked at him sceptically. "Wormatil I don't know if it's a good idea." "Please Prim, I wouldn't be asking if there was any other way." Peter begged. Sighing I pushed myself off the chair. "Lead the way."
If I wasn't angry I would've laughed at the scene. James and Remus were trying to move Sirius up from the couch where he laid complaining and shaking his head like a toddler. "Need a helping hand lads?" James let out a sigh of relief. "Padfoot look who's here." Curious, Sirius lifted his head and when he noticed me his pout changed into a full blown smile. "Puppy!" He yelled, standing up from the couch engulfing me in a hug. A few eyes turned our way, while the other three tried to stifle their laughs.
"Merlin Sirius, how many times do I have to tell you, stop calling me that." He mumbled something against my shoulder. I gently pushed him off me and he looked at me smiling. "You're really pretty." I looked away trying to hide my blush and patted him on the back. "Alright you slobbering dog, let's get you to bed."
Somehow, I managed to drag Sirius's drunken self up to his dorm, and carefully threw him on top of his bed. "Wanna know a secret?" He whispered and I only gave a hum in acknowledgment, as I took off his shoes. "You make me feel all funny inside." I looked at him confused. "Like good, funny. Every time you're close there are butterflies in my tummy." He said in a slurred speech.
"You're drunk." I answered him, starting to remove his staple leather jacket. "But s' true every time I see you smile my heart goes swoosh." I laughed a little. "It jus' did it again!" He exclaimed with wide eyes. I shook my head. "Go to sleep Sirius." Before I left he took my hand. "I think I'm falling in love with you." That was all he said before he passed out. Little snores leaving his mouth.
Walking out of their dorm I closed the door. I let my head fall back against it and let out a defeated sigh. What Sirius said was everything I wanted
to hear. Real sweet, but I wish he had been sober.
A/N
Please vote, comment, and tell me what you think.
Stay tuned messer and don't forget the mischief is not yet managed.