Barely proofread.
Mother: Taylor Swift
Y/n age: 4
Y/f/in= Your first initial
Tw: refusing to eat? Long? I'm not sure I suck at writing tws
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Taylor
"Y/n. finish. it. Please" I say with pure desperation
"I. DON'T. WANT. TO. I. AM. NOT. HUNGRY!" she screams at me pushing her plate away.
"Don't yell at me please and Sweetheart you have to it's either this or......" I say pleading
I quickly jog into the kitchen grabbing the homemade smoothie I made, I found the recipe on this parenting website it's meant to help kids gain weight.
"The honey smoothie," I say sitting back down with a huff, I watch her grimace at the sight of it. I will admit it doesn't look the best and the taste is just average but I've tried everything, formulas like PediaSure and an array of homemade recipes. Y/n isn't eating enough, the doctor said if she doesn't get the protein or iron she needs, she could need a feeding tube. Truthfully I am terrified I'm running out of options, she is just really strong-willed and well, stubborn. I love that about her but it's affecting her health.
Y/n
Mommy is being annoying recently, trying to make me eat even when I've had enough! She even has the doctors saying I need to eat more.
"Mommy no. that's yucky," I explain scrunching my nose in disgust.
"how about...... Ice-cream! do you want ice cream? chocolate?" wow she's never offered me dessert before but I see what she's doing she's trying to get me to eat even after I said I was full and I don't like it when people make me do things, Mommy can because she's my Momma but I just don't want anything else to eat. I wanna play with Mommy than have her tuck me into bed, cuddle me and sing me a lullaby!
"no," I whisper
"Y/n baby please you have to eat more," Mommy says sadly I think she's about to cry
"I'm not hungry," I say again playing with my fingers out of guilt
"Fine you don't have to eat anything," she says sharply. I lift my head to look at her after she said this.
"But it means I put you straight to bed. No cuddles or lullaby." she continues making me glance at my dinner plate and then back at my hands resting in my lap.
"Oh." I sadly and almost silently respond.
I slump out of my chair and slowly and shamefully start walking towards the stairs and I hear Mommy get up behind me
"Y/n?" she says with tears still brimming her eyes, I didn't mean to make Mommy sad.
"We gotta brush your teeth. come on," she says sniffling, subtly wiping her eyes with her sleeve. She walks over to me, gently places me on her hip, gives me a big kiss on my forehead and cheek, and then takes me to the bathroom connected to my room. She helps me brush my teeth and then rinse my mouth out making me sad when I realize that Mommy probably hates me, she makes all these dinners and lunches and other food things and I don't finish them. Then I realise that there is a sippy cup full of PediaSure on my bedside table as she walks me to my bed letting go of my hand and placing me on it
"Mommy...... Can you please cuddle with me?" I ask with puppy eyes so maybe she won't see the tears that have started to come pouring out
"I can't y/n unless you drink the whole cup of PediaSure," she says firmly
"but it's a baby's drink I'm a big girl now! I'm almost a whole hand!" I say holding up my right hand to try to get my point across. she giggles slightly while looking down and moving my hand into my lap.
"It's not a baby's drink but I can't cuddle with you unless you drink it," she says firmly again but I can see in her eyes she's sad. I watch out of the corner of my eye Meredith walks out of my closet and sits in the doorway between it and the rest of my room.
"Y/n/n look at Mommy." Mommy continues softer but still firm
"Drink it now please so we can cuddle," she says voice full of hope
"No! I don't want to! you can't make me!" I snap but I instantly regret it. I start to cry harder and scream throwing my arms and legs about.
---------------------------------------------------
Taylor
"We gotta brush your teeth, come on," I say trying to hide the tears that are in my eyes I sort of blacked out because the next thing I knew I was kneeling next to Y/n's little toddler bed.
"Mommy...... Can you please cuddle with me?" She asks shyly looking up at me with her big blue eyes but I resist. She has to eat more she's close to being dangerously low, on well everything, I love her too much to let her make herself sick. She's my whole world, the inspiration for my new album baby blues and loads of my other songs. So as much as it breaks my heart I need to be firm and hold my ground she has to eat she's, scaring me.
"I can't y/n unless you drink the whole cup of PediaSure," I say firmly to stop myself from bursting into tears of pure stress and tiredness.
"but it's a baby's drink I'm a big girl now! I'm almost a whole hand!" She says happily as if there aren't tears running down her face, she shows me her little chubby hand as a way of further trying to convince me. I can't help the small chuckle that falls through my lips, I slowly take her hand and place it on her little lap
"It's not a baby's drink but I can't cuddle with you unless you drink it." I continue when I noticed she looking over towards the wardrobe.
"Y/n/n look at Mommy," I say trying a softer approach as she is just straight-up crying, I hope she'll just drink it so I can cuddle her.
"drink it now please so we can cuddle," I say hopefully I've cracked her.
"no! I don't want to! you can't make me!" She yells again making me flinch at the sudden change of volume, she entered a full-on tantrum she is exhausted and truthfully so am I.
I don't know how much more of this I can take, I'm losing sleep over my 4-year-olds eating habits. I quickly but firmly take hold of Y/n's shoulders and carefully lay her down on her bed, I try to tuck her in but she's still yelling and kicking so I just kiss her on the forehead and go leave when I hear her get out of bed and grab my ankle she is still screaming for me at this point and I'm sobbing but I have to put my foot down. I carefully remove her tiny fingers and give her the biggest kiss on the forehead but I quickly exit the room I hear her run into the door and start banging on it yelling
"I'm... sorry... Mommy I so sorry!" She says broken by hiccups I want nothing more than to rush in there and soothe her to sleep in my arms but then she'll never learn, she does this most nights and I almost always give in, what mother likes hearing their child scream for them like this? I don't this is killing me.
I lean my back on the door and put my hand over my mouth to muffle enviable sobs as I continue to hear my baby cry out for me. I slump to the floor and lean back resting the back of my head against the door still covering my mouth with my hand. I hear her get up off the floor and walk back over to her bed still crying but after a few minutes, they lessen to little whimpers.
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Y/n
"I'm... sorry... Mommy I so sorry!" I yell with hiccups interrupting me as she closed the door. I try hitting and pushing my fingers under the door. I WANT MY MOMMY!
"Meow" I turn around to see Meredith jumping on my bed I stand and carefully walk over to my bed still really upset and give Meredith a little pat she moves closer to me purring and I slowly stop crying and started sniffling because all that crying made my nose runny. I've just felt the tiredness wash over me as I continue petting one of the family cats, I hop into bed next to Meredith and start gently petting her as I look over to the liquid in my cup next to me. I briefly stop petting Meredith causing her to meow but I shush her, I bite my lip and grab my favourite pink sippy cup full of PediaSure. I look at it for a while before I decide to drink some of it, I ended up drinking half and I just couldn't make myself drink anymore. I pulled up my blanket and shuffle down into my bed readjusting what mommy calls a Scottish fold cat,
"Mommy hates me Mer," I say squeezing the cat a little tighter she just purrs until I feel sleep trying to take over and I let it.
Taylor
I continue to silently cry until I hear little snores and meows coming from the room behind me. I open the door without moving just looking behind me when I see the cutest thing. I wipe my nose and quietly stand up and tiptoe over to my little girl's bed
"Good job Meredith" I quietly whisper giving the grey cat a quick stroke on the head as I continue to admire the gorgeous sight in front of me as well as taking a quick pic for my lock screen, I turn the lamp off and her night light on then head downstairs to call my Mom.
I call my Mom with everything about Y/n both good and bad especially since her Dad isn't in the picture. I plonk down on the couch with a big glass of wine and I break down and I mean completely ugly crying. I am broken. I know exactly how to help my girl but it isn't working.
"Mo—om?" I say struggling to breathe from crying
"Taylor? Are you ok? Is Y/n ok?!" She asks after hearing my panic.
"I—uhh- she's..." I try to say but my chest just continues tightening.
"Ok sweetie you're having a panic attack slow your breathing..... that's it, good girl, now what's happened? Is Y/n ok?" She asks quietly
Y/n
"Mo—mmy?" I jolt awake from a nightmare.
My sudden movement caused the cat to spring from my bed leaving me completely alone and scared. I spot my special blanket on the floor on the other side of my room I carefully place my feet on the floor and run over to my blanket then immediately run back to my bed, blanket in hand hiding under the sheets from the monsters. I just want my mommy but, she hates me. I try to sleep again, but I'm too scared I eventually decide to try and go see Mommy. I go to Mommy's bedroom down the hall and she isn't in there so I guess she must be downstairs. I am almost down the bottom when I hear
"I'm failing her ...........No no I am." She tells someone on the phone
"I won't be able to live with myself if something happens to her." I think she's talking about... me?
"Okay bye..... I love you too Mom." She must be talking to Grandma.
She takes a deep breath, finishing off her whine, then places her head in her hand and cries again. I think I might be the last person she wants to see right now I go to stand up to run back to my room when my tummy betrays me and it rumbles loud. She snaps her head back to see me sitting in the doorway. Oh no
"I'm sorry Mommy please don't hate me!" I beg with my tears returning. She runs to me and scoops me up
"I don't hate you, I don't hate you" she repeats to calm my sobs and after a while it does.
I open my eyes to see that we are now both on the floor. Mommy is lining up on the wall holding my head in the crook of her neck.
"Are you ok? Why did you come down?" She asks with both of us not moving
"Nnn-nightmare" I explain slowly moving my thumb into my mouth
"ok, ok shshsh," she says slowly rocking
"Honey, are you hungry by any chance? I heard your tummy rumble earlier." she gently questions me. I just nod while clinging to my Mom for dear life.
"a little bit," I whisper
"Okay, then how about we get you a snack?" she asks carefully standing up with me still clinging to her chest.
"yes please," I say with a yawn into her chest she chuckles at my sudden tiredness.
"What do you feel like kiddo?" she asks placing me on the kitchen counter.
she places each of her hands on either side of me on the bench as I start playing with the strings on her hoodie
"Nana please" I ask still not looking at her in the eyes
"Banana." she corrects placing some hair behind my ears.
she goes to get my banana from the pantry I let go of her hoodie and just look at my fingers in my lap
"Here you go, baby." Mom says peeling the banana
"Thank you" I mumble taking the yellow fruit
"I'm sorry," I say still avoiding eye contact with my mother
"Y/n/n baby girl. what on planet earth do you have to be sorry for?" she asks positively whisper yells
"Y/n/nnnnn look at me, please. Look at Momma" she says gently dragging out my name, lifting my head by my chin
"You are my little girl, I have always loved you and I will always love you ok?" she pauses as I continue to nibble on my banana
"But we do need to discuss your eating but.....it can wait until tomorrow." she finishes being interrupted by my big yawn and, me falling forward, her chest stopping me from falling off the counter and making me drop my banana.
Taylor
I lift Y/n up by her armpits and place her so her face is facing my back her chin on my shoulder but she stirs and turns so now she's facing my neck. God, she's adorable, the way her little pink lips part as the rest of her face is squished.
"Okay, my big girl," I whisper giving her a peck on the cheek
"Let's get you to bed hmm?" I softly tell her receiving a grunt from her in response
I carefully jog up the stairs and down the hall to the light pink door with a big Y/f/in plastered on it and again tiptoe across the toy-covered floor to the small pink toddler bed. I go to place Y/n down on the messy bed but she just grabs onto me and says
"No, No Mama stays," she exclaims half asleep
"of course Mama is staying" I say even though I think she is knocked out again.
I go to try and squeeze into the tiny bed when I notice her sippy cup resting up against her pillow, I quickly pick it up thinking it will still be full but I soon realise that it's halfway done.
"my good girl." I smile to myself
I gently place it on the nightstand and continue to try and squeeze into the bed. When I finally find a comfortable position I pull Y/n closer to me and decide I'll let myself sleep as well. I'm almost half asleep when I feel my cats jumping on the end of the bed, I quickly check of course then when I am completely positive it's them I allow myself to fall asleep again, with my perfect little family.
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I literally have no clue what this is but enjoy 😅
I also just found out im going to the ERAS TOUR i'm gonna see mother in person lol. Ps sorry its so long anyone want a Part 2 were we like get a feeding-tube? I'll probs write one anyway this story has been floating in my brain for a while.