TRACK 7
It's the terror of knowing
What this world is about
Watching some good friends
Screaming "let me out"
Pray tomorrow gets me higher
(Under Pressure - Queen )
********
In the morning, at 7:00, Claire felt she had lost much of her energy on the road.
She had never thought it was so hard to spend a night almost totally off, just keeping watch, when she had spent several, sleeping only five hours or even less, for hours studying on school tests or for evening activities together with Jim and Toby... But the previous evening, spent trying to pay attention to everything and not fall asleep out of the blue -risking perhaps falling off her face- to finally make the switch with Blinky, had been an immense effort.
And that amount of time she had slept afterward she had not even felt it. It had been as if she had closed her eyes for just a moment, then opened them again and found herself seeing almost everyone standing there, some more, some less ready, having a frightening urge to go back in time or directly ignore it all, allowing herself to doze off again, clutching the pillow and pressing herself to the mattress in silent denial.
But she hadn't. Claire forced herself to get to her feet and walk slowly in the direction of the bathroom. Only rinsing her face, slapping both of her cheeks repeatedly until they burned, allowed her to regain some of her lucidity. Not all of it, but at least enough to focus, to make her notice what was around her in a better way.
When she returned to the others, in fact, she no longer saw only their blurred figures moving almost indefinitely but began to pay attention to details.
She noticed how Blinky was adjusting his pants, trying to get out creases that she wouldn't have paid the slightest attention to if the Troll hadn't really started to run all his hands over them.
She saw how Aaarrrgh was stretching forward, not even as if he were a cat or something before he collected himself and approached the other Troll with a slow, lethargic pace, barely smiling.
Claire paid attention to how Steve's hair was all backward, not even that he had forcibly moved it and then put hairspray on it, while his eyes were still half-closed from sleep and his cheeks flushed.
She saw how Toby, on the other hand, already seemed more energetic, talking to Jim about new morning workouts, while the other nodded and offered to prepare breakfast for everyone that morning, as opposed to the previous one which had been a bit messy. A bit like lunch and dinner, after all.
The attitude at meals had been almost frantic, so much so that it had made it more of a 'grab what you find without particular distinction or care and eat it once it's cooked if necessary .'
And, at last, she noticed how Archie and Douxie were missing from the group. The giant Book of Daoist Magic occupied their place on the mattress. Slight worry enveloped her stomach, accompanied by sudden and insistent anxiety.
Douxie had not returned to the room after leaving it, as he had said he would, and his familiar had disappeared just as quickly, saying he would go look for him and not to pay any attention to his missing. Before the end of Claire's watch, neither of them had returned.
"Blinky... Have you seen Douxie and Archie?" She asked in a half-voice, approaching the other quickly, her arms crossed over her chest and her fists tightly clenched.
The Troll blinked all over a couple of times. "No, neither of them. I had assumed you knew where they had gone, Fair Claire. Was I wrong?"
She shook her head, tightening her mouth in a thin line. "I thought I knew," she admitted, licking her lips, feeling them suddenly dry, somewhat like her own mouth, which had become drier than a desert. "But I'm beginning to doubt it."
"Maybe they went to Mr. Magic Man?" Quipped Steve, yawning almost like a lion right after he spoke.
"Merlin said not to disturb him except in case of important situations," commented Jim. "I don't think if there was anything urgent, they would have avoided waking us up to let us know."
"Maybe they went to him anyway, just to check? He is Douxie's Master, after all," Toby said.
"Just to get an earful for disobeying?" Claire was somewhat skeptical of the idea.
"Meh , no, okay. They'd both be the masochistic ones otherwise. Worse than Steve." Toby chuckled, nudging the blond slightly.
"Hey! I'm not a masochist! I simply like badass girls! Who's better than someone like Aja? No one."
"Yeah, yeah, okay." Claire waved her hand, resting her gaze on the door. "The main fact of the matter doesn't change, though..." she paused "Shall we try to find them?"
"Claire, I remind you that this castle is huge! Even with instructions written on the walls, they could be anywhere!" Asserted Toby, waving his hands in the air for emphasis.
Steve grabbed his phone and then made a face. "Ow! Shoot! I forgot to ask him for his number!"
Jim raised an eyebrow. "You would have asked him? We're in the same place."
"Of course, I would have, Lake. To send him the pic, duh! Like I did to all of you. But between questions and stuff I forgot."
"...Aaaaand so we don't have Douxie's cell phone number to text him and ask him exactly where he is," said Toby.
"Effectively, by the time we would go looking for him, he could already be back here and not find us anymore," Blinky added. "I'm more than sure that his dragon familiar would already be back to ask for help if they needed it."
"What if they are both in trouble?" Insisted Claire, unconvinced. "What if he couldn't come to ask for help?"
"They could have sent a sentry-like Merlin?"
"...I think that that could have been both ways. To tell that they were gonna be on their own for a while and to tell that they were in danger. So, or they wanted to tell us but they somehow forgot, or they aren't able to. "
A heavy silence fell. The entire group looked at each other, not knowing what to say.
"The Knight didn't say anything. Merlin, neither." Jim said suddenly, breaking the silence. He approached her, resting a hand on her shoulder with something of attempted reassurance, which, however, was not enough to clear the feeling of nervousness from her body. Not even a little bit. The emotion was coursing through her, almost running along with her blood.
Her instincts, for some reason, kept telling her that something was wrong. And that it wasn't okay at all to simply stay there and wait.
"Besides, the bro and his dragon are like two forces of nature! They're two loners by birth. More than that!" Steve made an expression of pure respect, which was quite strange to see when talking about him. "Not as cool as me, but they come close!"
Toby chuckled. Jim, on the other hand, sighed, shaking his head, but was still smiling.
"Maybe they just needed some air," Blinky added, trying, in turn, to reassure her, probably noticing that it wasn't working. "If they are used to solitude, maybe they needed to be away from us for a while. They could perhaps be described as partial introverts."
Claire forced herself to nod. The reasoning all in all was kind of right. It might as well have been. However...
She gritted her teeth, throwing out air, partially trying to let it go. She hoped with all her might that the others were right, but she perceived the expectation of confirmation more than negatively.
Because if she was right instead, he and Archie could really be in trouble. And they were not helping them by waiting for the two to come back.
'I don't want it to be real, but... I have a really bad feeling... ' she thought, starting to clutch the fur coat in her hands.
It passed something like ten minutes, but still nothing. They decided to leave the room to have breakfast and they wrote a hasty note that they placed prominently on the table so as to warn them in case they actually came back, asking them to join them later inside the pantry.
Claire, before following the others, looked at that piece of paper with a slight grimace painted on her face.
********
Nari saw Merlin perfectly cut the last of the gemstones to be added to the Seal of Solomon, his wrist movements controlled with a care that would have been almost abnormal had it not been him they were talking about.
'It should be enough this way,' she thought, going to join her own hands and repeatedly letting her gaze run over each Core 'There are all of them.'
And indeed there were. Thirteen kinds of precious stones, left both where the star touched the circle that bounded it, and at the meeting points of the sides of the form, and the center of it, in that solid hexagon.
The Ruby, for the fire of creation. Not too much so that instead of melting, it would destroy anything. It was at the tip of the equilateral triangle facing upward.
Rock Salt, for purification. So that evil spirits of the Abyss and creatures attracted to the energy would stay away and not ruin the Core of the mechanisms. Placed in the tip of the same triangle to the left of the previous stone
Topaz, the stone of the sun and life. The mechanisms would have a life of their own. In the tip to the right.
Amber, a symbol of energy, is accompanied by Magnetite, Iolite, and Cat's Eye. All perfect sources of electricity, of the resonant conductors, of the stabilization of flow, and from amplification. All scattered at some of the meeting points of the two triangles, in the form of a square.
The Mother of Pearl, the stone of the sea, is in perfect opposition to the Ruby. In the point of the equilateral triangle directed downward.
The Serpentine, a symbol of the magnetism that would connect them with the other pieces and with each other. Opposite and parallel to the Rock Salt.
Selenite, symbol of time and its inexorable flow. This in large quantities, counting that the Heart of Avalon would take them to a bygone era. And every part had to be ready and imbued with those abilities. But not discordantly in comparison with the other parts. Exaggeration and lack could have been detrimental, to say the least. In the center of the hexagon.
The Jurai for contact with Mother Earth, so that the spell was anchored and stable in the vital Core that inhabited the planet. But still that it was limited, lest it starts stealing life from the ground in an unreciprocated exchange. Had it been so, it would not have turned away from Dark Magic. That stone could indeed prove a double-edged sword if in large doses. The fifth point of intersection is on the left.
The Moonstone. It was capable of listening to certain wishes, according to legends, but instead connecting with the higher reaches of the transcendental world, to allow a closeness to the eternal. Opposite to the Topaz.
And finally, the Diamond. A symbol of perfection since the birth of the Earth, placed at the remaining point of intersection of the star. A more-than-necessary ingredient in such a complicated creation work, where the smallest wrong move could screw up the entire project in the blink of an eye.
At that point, the only thing missing was the material to work with. And Dalai Sun would have it. Or at least -counting that a Sorcerer had more than a little difficulty with even the idea of giving up their skills and the tools on which their essence was founded- they hoped that would be the case.
Nari had helped with Core extraction as much as possible. Same in the precise measurement of doses. She had tried to consider whether to replace one of the energy stones with perhaps one that would create a shield of protection, but of the two, the energy amount was the most important. It was why they were in that situation instead of having already jumped into the past.
"You should go get some sleep, Nari," Merlin said after stepping away from the Seal, looking at her warily. "The last step cannot be accomplished until we arrive at our destination."
Nari smiled and shook her head slightly. "I'm not tired," she said, taking a few slow steps forward in the direction of the window, resting a hand on the glass, and finding herself looking at the sea that was being shown from the view, then turning around. "You should do it, you've worked tirelessly so far."
"Will you go to the Guardians?" Asked Merlin, barely tapering his gaze and only following several seconds of silence, nodding. "As you wish." He said, "But if anything should happen, do not hesitate to come for me. I'll accom-"
"I can find them without any problem, thank you." She smiled openly, resting a hand on the man's tired face, marked by old age and stress that he tried to hide through a composed expression and stern gaze, partly torn apart by the world's constant self-destruction in its pathological chaos. "Rest, Merlin," she whispered.
She barely saw him nod before she left the room with a quick, light step. The Sight, Smell, Touch, and Sound of Merlin's Apprentice's Aura, still dancing in the curtains he had created and seeding the castle with immense delicacy and gaiety, tore an amused expression from her.
Nari felt much more than Hisirdoux Casperan's Aura. She felt part of his personality. His intentions. His frailties. There was something weird, too. Something weird and pretty rare, but not in a bad way for her.
She felt as if she knew him, almost.
The little half-goddess let only the tip of her left foot graze the floor in front of her, as she allowed her energy to sing into her, traveling along it until it reached the ground in turn.
The roots immediately started whispering and flashing with their tepid texture. And so to search around her, trying to figure out what direction to take.
This, however, restrained her sharply, causing her to notice something extremely unusual. So unusual that it made her hold her breath and turn her head in an almost mechanical way, which had it been quicker perhaps would have brought her dizziness or a momentary stiff neck.
"Oh, no..." she asserted in a whisper, feeling her heart lose a beat and all the plants on her body almost retreat in on themselves. And so she ran back into Merlin's room, throwing the door wide open, tearing a puzzled expression from the man.
"There is a problem..." she said only, struggling even to speak as mild horror stirred in her gut.
She did not need to say anything else. Merlin, just then, seemed to realize it himself, for there was a quiver in the ground itself.
********
The more than visible tension in Claire was beginning to affect Jim as well, willingly or unwillingly.
He, who had started to cook -using what was on hand and improvising because several ingredients were missing, deciding to jump on a Raspberry and Coconut Roll, accompanied by a French sauce his mother loved quite a bit, Fruit Coulis- should have been more relaxed by now. Usually doing so helped him; it always put him in a good mood.
But the expression that seemed etched on the girl's face, her eyes focused on the outside of the door as if she were quivering to get out of it or to even catch a glimpse of a silhouette behind it... or, again, to hear a faint sound of footsteps, well. It made it complicated for him to focus on the steps he was supposed to take.
The good luck was that both recipes were fairly simple -The Roll took just a tiny bit longer, but not so long that his friends would stay hours and hours on an empty stomach. It did not require the three hours of resting in the refrigerator, a fact that was more than appreciated- maybe precisely because there was a big shortage of specific ingredients in the pantry.
If he found himself preparing something where he would need every last millimeter of attention his brain could provide, he highly doubted it would end well. And counting that Claire's tension was rubbing off on him, a galactic disaster would probably happen.
He had tried to reassure her, he had. Even while he paced back and forth around the room between things.
But it was hard to try to do that when he was beginning to feel the need, almost under his skin, to be sure that nothing was going wrong. And to ask himself questions.
Constant 'what ifs' began to wander in the meanders of his head, so much so that he tried to get out of them, but only ended up bumping into the next one. And to the next one. And to the next one again.
'What if Claire was right?' whispered one of the many questions through an insulting little voice in his head 'What if something really did happen?' he bit his lip 'What if we went over it all too lightly?...'
So many 'what ifs' that the fruit he was dicing for making Coulis was... Ugh, it had become so small that it reminded him of ants. And it made it difficult to pick it up, forcing him to drag the small pieces with the knife itself, matching the unsharpened side of the blade with the surface of the table.
'... As luck would have it, they should theoretically be blended,' he thought once he realized it, managing to escape the mental maze -he had thought of putting them in a bag and crushing them until they became a liquid mush. In part his distraction would make the process even easier for him- and letting an uncertain half-smile escape... That disappeared almost instantly as his stomach seemed to fold in on itself from discomfort, leading him to swallow with difficulty.
'What if it had been better to try to find them anyway just in case? Maybe split up to have a better chance of success?'
"How much you're gonna take, Lake?" Asked Steve suddenly, splitting the blanket of his thoughts and causing him to roll his eyes just in exasperation.
"As long as it takes," he replied, casting him a glance before returning to the chopped fruit, shoving it into the plastic bag, and closing it with an experienced hand.
"Yes, all right. But how long is it going to take?" Insisted the blond behind him. Jim was reminded of Donkey from the second Shrek movie with his repetitive 'Are we there yet? '
The thought made him snort just before shaking his head. It was an odd comparison, the kind that led him to wonder what movie characters they all might resemble. A kinda stupid question that he removed just as quickly, not wanting to distract himself even more. Not until he had finished preparing everyone's breakfast, at least. Then later, perhaps, he would think about it.
"Patience, Steve," he said, forcing himself to stay in the present in the hope that it would be a way to get away from the uncertainties. "Food doesn't make itself. Unless you just grab any fruit and eat that directly without any cooking step."
He barely heard him huff, but Steve stopped complaining. In return, he could hear the faint tapping of Claire's finger on the table, even if partially buried by Toby's loud yawning.
In any case, the room had indeed grown quieter than the norm.
And it was strange compared to the chatter-filled breakfast the day before. It had been so... lively. Although mainly occupied with attempts to explain to Nari, it had had something more. A distinct tranquility that, on the other hand, was strongly lacking this time.
He started crushing the pieces of fruit, through continuous smacks with the right instrument -not too hard... It would have been a dilemma to recover all the juice in the second case- quickly coming out of his head for the umpteenth time. He ended up looking at the door too, like a magnet with iron.
There was no one there. And there was only silence outside, accompanied by the whispers of the wind and the sound of the sea below, which, however, was faint and difficult to listen to in earnest. There was an almost eerie stillness. The kind of calm that was so extreme as to seem exaggerated, even out of place.
All the hair stood up on his head in one fell swoop. The same thing those present on his arms. And he really could not understand why, counting that absolutely nothing had changed.
Claire, as if she sensed it in her turn -whatever this 'thing' was- snapped and raised to her feet, tearing a gasp from almost everyone.
"I can't wait anymore. I'm going to see where they are," she said, dryly marching immediately in the direction of the door.
"Wait! You're going to see where exactly?" Asked Steve, in turn getting up and following her.
"I don't know. I'm just going to see around. If you want to come with me, go ahead." She asserted in a low voice, turning only for a few seconds and biting her lower lip, then turning back to look at them all and trying to leave, holding her hand against the door. "I'm going to be the quickest as possible. In case I find them, I'll send a message and bring them here, otherwise..."
She didn't have time to finish the sentence.
Before she could do so -and before she could seriously start looking, though- something was heard that caused them all to widen their eyes, almost at the same moment. It caught them totally off guard, so much so that they gasped and looked at each other for a few seconds before rushing off.
'Was that an explosion? ' He asked himself, barely clenching his fists -not so much as to drive his nails into the flesh- and realizing that yes, it had been exactly an explosion, and yes, it had been inside Camelot.
They came out of the pantry as if there was a bomb in it -There wasn't one, fortunately, because they didn't need that too- trying to pinpoint where the explosion had come from, exactly, counting that it echoed between the walls, making everything shake and even descend hints of pebbles -and not dust, which was quite strange in a castle of that age, but counting that there had been none even on the coat furs, nor on the furniture in general, there must have been a spell underneath- from the ceiling.
The silence, that almost abnormal silence that had been there before, broke from there in a way so drastic to be almost scary.
So much so that Jim could not help but wonder what the heck had happened and how it was possible to go from one extreme to the other in a couple of seconds. It had indeed gone from complete quiet...to sounds of scuffling, of bizarre, almost animal-like noises. And of glass, of undefined objects smashing repeatedly, causing large thuds.
The smell of smoke began to flood the corridors, making them all cough a little. Jim tried to cover his face with his hand, his eyes barely squinting and watering.
They started to run like there was no tomorrow, going up and down the stairs at top speed, taking advantage of the sounds as much as possible. Not that it was easy, though. Figuring out exactly where they were coming from without accidentally deflecting was a real struggle, especially with all those echoes. They just knew they had to get down. Get down a little bit. To where, well, they had no idea.
Jim just hoped that wherever they ended up there would be curtains on the windows... or he, like Blinky and Aaarrrgh, would be able to do little about it. He mentally cursed just at the thought.
He didn't like the idea of twirling his thumbs. He didn't like the idea of standing by just because it was daylight and the light would prevent him from any kind of activity, perhaps seeing his friends get hurt one after another. And because he was half a Troll.
His heart seemed to speed up just at the thought, just at the mental image of the hypothetical situation. And it was already fast enough from the unbridled running, so that was saying a lot. The muscle rumbled in his chest at such an unnatural and unstable pace that he would not have been surprised -despite his young age- if he had a heart attack.
********
Claire had been right, and she hated it. For the first time in sixteen years, she hated not being wrong. Something she had honestly never thought was possible. Usually being right filled her with pride, made her feel confident, as if she had won an invisible war or something.
This was definitely not the case. She had hoped with all her might that she had made wrong assumptions, that she had gotten caught up in overthinking. But she just wasn't.
She felt a cramp bend her entire stomach and her oxygen totally lacking, as if someone had kicked her repeatedly, leaving her gasping between disappointment and anxiety.
'I should have insisted,' she thought. ' I should have stuck on my idea or gone directly there on my own right away. Removed the possibility of staying and waiting, and ignored the idea of the drudgery of wandering around the entire castle... Followed or not, I should not have let go of my instincts. Why didn't I listen to myself from the start?'
She forced herself to ignore the questions and possible answers, fearing becoming discouraged in the process, only ending up speeding up even more, lengthening the size of her steps.
Terror was raging in her chest, and she could feel her own magic stirring in her body, without a hint of control. It seemed ready to come out at any moment. To lash out aggressively against whatever surrounded her. Just the sensation froze the blood in her veins.
' Your emotion is not you, Claire. Analyze it. And then use it.' Douxie's voice appeared in her mind in a kind of involuntary flashback, causing her to feel a shock and a warm chill that moved down her spine at the lack of expectation, restoring her new lucidity.
'Stay true to yourself.'
Claire barely swallowed, forcing herself to breathe a little more regularly and do that, albeit still running.
'Fear .' She told herself, reasoning quickly. 'Fear that it's the Arcane Order or someone equally powerful. Fear that Douxie and Archie got hurt. Fear of not being able to help in any way and just being a burden to everyone. Fear of losing someone because of this very thing. Fear of dying and never seeing my parents or my siblings again.'
Magic was stirring on her fingers, making them almost vibrate. The pressure it brought was strong, somewhat like the feeling that the collar around it was not tight enough, but it was already much better than the feeling of having it out, totally unleashed and without a brake that could help her distinguish and control it.
She needed the psychological hinges, that red sign screaming 'Stop' to make her slow down and let it all out in a more regulated way.
'I can control it.' She told herself, tightening her lips, determination painting her gaze, building up and focusing that fear until, after an all too long indefinite wandering, in which the group had gone from room to room without respite, the precise location of all that commotion was pinpointed.
It was the room where the Heart of Avalon was located.
Merlin had said not to go near the source of magical energy, but Claire didn't give a damn about his order. She didn't care when he had ordered it and they had been more or less calm, let alone now that every part of her was screaming to figure out what in the hell was going on.
In fact, it did not take her long to open the door, throwing it open so suddenly that it crashed against the wall with a rather deafening noise.
The room, although it was the same one they had already seen on arriving in Camelot, looked so different that the comparison flashed behind her eyelids without even needing to try too hard.
In it, in addition to smashed vases, curtains partly torn and partly not, glass was on the ground in a sort of non-matching collage, and the hole in the wall -which unfortunately did not open onto one of the many corridors and that was all, but onto the outside, sending in streams of direct light, a view that made Jim, Blinky, and Aaarrrgh stiffen behind her- there was a myriad of winged monsters, comparable to the monkeys in the Wizard of Oz, but precisely with big eagle wings and a reptilian tail, decorated with rotten green scales.
They were hideous, to say the least; their eyes were small and red, glistening like cockroaches. The drooling mouth was full of razor-sharp canines, and their saliva dripped onto the floor. The dirty fur was similar in color to the tail, but with a brownish tinge that perhaps even worsened the complex.
Lying on the floor was the old Knight, left in a corner, definitely unconscious. Fortunately, he was still breathing, albeit a tad slowly. But it would have been much worse if he hadn't done it at all.
Archie was not too far from him, albeit awake. He was inside a sort of semi-transparent box with reddish hues, stuck to the wall as if someone had used vinavil glue. And from the way his fur was upturned, growling -but weirdly silenced- and by how his claws were out, he must have been more than a little furious. He seemed ready to jump down anyone's throat.
In the center of the room, there was a woman in the back with long platinum blonde hair, straight as spaghetti, that reached the lower part of her back. She wore an elegant dress, quite low-cut, it seemed, of a shiny velvet black and a white cape over it that had small pockets. With her figure, she partially covered Douxie's frame.
The Wizard, standing there, had a wound on his temple bleeding profusely and his arms crossed in front of him. He was protecting the Heart of Avalon, which was slightly behind him. He seemed to have nothing around him, but when one of the beasts, at that precise moment, tried to throw something at him -a rock, perhaps? It was not clear- it bounced back, showing a shield of a neon light blue just for that instant. It was seen again when one of the creatures tried to throw itself at the boy, but crashed into the barrier and emitted a yelp of pain.
Their arrival was obviously noticed, by the crashing of the door, so much so that many of the creatures and the woman turned in their direction. The stranger had eyes that resembled a storm, so clear and cold gray that Claire felt chills. She screamed 'danger' everywhere. She was like a snake... or at any rate a born predator.
A grimace crossed her face. "Oh. New friends are joining the party." She said acidly. Her voice was far too melodious, far too soft for Claire's taste. She had no idea who she was, but if she already hated her in the beginning for what she was doing, her voice only served to get her unnerved even more.
"Too bad. I was hoping to be almost done, but it looks like I'll have to try a little harder." With that said, in her hand, she created a bone-made ax, which appeared out of thin air, pointing it at them.
'Another witch, ' muttered a little voice in Claire's head, as new anxiety built up in her stomach. 'Control your anxiety. You can master two closely related emotions at the same time, even better than trying to restrain two totally different ones.'
Douxie's eyes widened, settling on them just for a few seconds before staring back in front of him, his eyelids so black they seemed almost covered in charcoal, and blood still oozing, running down his cheekbones. He did not move an inch.
"Do not move," she said in an authoritarian voice, moving the ax again to point at Archie with it. "Or the little pet will suffer the consequences of your action."