Cover Art: Cruz7808
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Story got deleted on FFN, should be up on Quotev, and Archive too. Get's posted on Wattpad first.
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S8E7- And Don't Call Me Shirley
"You always hope to see more of Delta." Yang commented.
"Just like you always hope Tex will come back." Ren replied with a smirk.
Yang shrugged, "She did it once, she can do it again."
Ren nodded, "I don't know how she'll return though. She was destroyed in the E.M.P blast."
"So was Church." Yang pointed out.
"Yes but there was still epsilon." Ren pointed out.
Yang sighed, "Fine, I still think she'll come back. Let's agree to disagree."
"Oh I think she might come back too." Ren explained.
Jaune looked around, "Everyone ready?"
" And Don't Call Me Shirley" appeared on the screen with the theme.
"What?" Nora asked, gesturing to the title.
"Oh." Jaune chuckled, "I get it."
"Surely is a nice pun." Yang commented.
Ruby let out an exasperated sigh, "Yang..."
Yang sputtered as she tried and failed to hold in her laughter.
Ruby and the rest of team RWBY simply shook their heads.
Fade in to Wash and the Meta looking at Doc in the piece of wall that's been dragged away from the base
Washington: "Come on, can't you get him out of there? He's just stuck in a few rocks."
"It should logically be easier now." Ren commented.
"But it's not." Nora grinned.
Meta: *Growls*
Washington: "Why can't anything ever be easy? Doc, I want you to tell me everything you know about the Reds and Blues."
"What could Doc even know?" Ruby asked.
Yang shrugged, "Not much, I mean he knows about the whole alien conspiracy."
"Is that useful to him?" Weiss asked.
"Maybe, he could tell them about Tucker's sword. And how it works." Jaune shrugged.
"That's still not useful for finding Epsilon." Weiss commented.
Jaune raised his hands in a shrug.
"Speaking of your sword." Ruby began.
Jaune perked up and grinned.
Weiss sighed, "No news from Atlas, Winter hasn't updated me in a while."
Jaune's grin fell and he sagged.
Ruby shook her head, "No that's not what I was about to ask, but thank you."
Weiss nodded with a smile.
"With Hard-light dust I can probably make it myself." Ruby explained, "So I was wondering if you could give me some."
Weiss sighed, "I thought we already talked about this, Hard-light dust is the jewel of Atlas and SDC dust. It's hard to get and even harder to find. My allowance isn't infinite."
Blake blew a short puff air through her lips, "ff-with the amount of gravity dust your father sells to Atlas just to keep it floating I'm surprised your allowance isn't near infinite."
Weiss sighed, "I'm not that rich."
"Man... rich girl problems." Yang pouted as she shook her head, looking downcast.
Weiss glared at Yang, "You know what? I can't stand you sometimes."
"I'm sorry, I just feel so bad for you."
"I can't stand you at all, you're insufferable."
Yang burst out laughing, "I hope you know I was joking."
Weiss waved her off, "I know, Anyway, back on topic... which was.. what?"
Ruby chuckled, "We got sidetracked."
Weiss chuckled, "Whatever, I actually haven't ever heard or seen anything about gravity dust sales of that size. I would say the city gets it by itself somehow somehow but my father would never allow competition, especially that close to home."
Blake hummed, "That is strange."
"Maybe it's a conspiracy!" Nora gasped.
Weiss sighed, "The only conspiracy theory relating to Atlas I care about is illegal Faunus labor."
"Which to those who aren't in denial or blind, isn't much of a theory at all. More of an ugly truth." Blake grumbled.
Pyrrha nodded, "Denial is a blindness we choose to accept."
Ren put his pen to his notebook, "I like that quote."
"I do too." Jaune nodded as he pressed play.
Doc: "You know more than me, I just got here."
"That's true." Blake sighed, "He's going to outlive his usefulness."
Pyrrha shook her head, "I think Doc can talk his way out of being useless... which he isn't."
"Nice save." Nora laughed.
Washington: "Hit him."
Meta hits Doc
Doc: "Oah!"
Pyrrha sighed, "He resorted to Torture."
Blake sighed as well, "I really hoped he wouldn't."
Washington: "You worked with them before. Do they have any hideouts, anywhere they go when they're in trouble."
"Blood Gulch and Valhalla are their only bases." Weiss commented.
Doc: "I don't know."
Washington: "Hit him again."
The Meta hits him again
Doc: "Ow!"
Pyrrha sighed.
"Whenever he gets hit how sounds like an old man." Nora commented, "Weird."
Blake frowned, "What do you mean?"
"You don't hear it?" Nora asked.
Blake shook her head.
Washington: "Did Simmons say where Sarge and Grif were? You can either answer me, or I can have the Meta beat it out of you. Or, I can beat it out of you. I think I've earned it."
Blake chuckled, "I'm still disappointed he resorted to torture but, I still love Washington his character."
"I wouldn't really call that torture, the Meta just gave Doc two little love taps." Yang commented.
"Love taps? The Meta hits pretty hard." Jaune grimaced.
"Still though, not really much. At best he was very roughly interrogated." Yang explained.
Blake and Jaune stared at Yang in disbelief.
With no hint of wrong doing on her face, Yang shrugged with a smirk.
Doc: "Man, you guys are really awful at the Good Cop/Bad Cop thing. You're like, Bad Cop/Even Worse Cop."
Yang burst out laughing, "I love this shows puns!"
"Yeah, they're not as cringey or as bad as yours." Ruby grinned.
Yang shot Ruby an annoyed look, "My puns are very-"
"Punny!" Team RWBY chorused with Yang.
Yang groaned, "Fine, note taken. I'll come up with new material."
"I'd rather you ditch the old material and not come up with anything new either." Weiss remarked.
Yang sighed, "Speaking of good cop bad cop, Neptune would be a terrible bad cop. I learned that from when we interrogated junior."
"What about his junior detective badge? He'd make a great cop." Jaune asked, his voice almost quivering at the thought of their cool junior detective badges not meaning anything.
Yang shrugged, "From my experience, he would not."
Jaune sighed.
Washington: "Tell you what Meta, let's just shoot him in the chest, see if we can pull the audio logs out of his helmet."
Pyrrha grimaced, "I hope you're wrong Blake, about Doc out living his usefulness."
Doc: "Uh-ah- he said something about a distress call!"
Washington: "Hit him again."
Meta: *Meta noises*
Doc: " And sand! H-he mentioned sand!"
"See?" Blake grinned, "I knew all he had to do was threaten Doc with violence, instead of actually using it."
"It's mildly distressing to know you were right." Weiss commented.
Blake shrugged.
Washington: "Sand..."
Cut to the Reds spying on Church and Caboose with a sniper rifle.
Church: "Alright, well, let's go then. I actually thought it would take longer to convince you. Come on. I wanna get to the facility before nightfall."
Cut to the reds
Pyrrha breathed a silent sigh of relief, "Good, it's just them."
"What?" Ren asked.
"Nothing, I just didn't know who was holding the sniper." Pyrrha explained.
Sarge: "Facility, eh? I knew the Blues were up to somethin'. Come on men, let's get after those Blues! Sounds like this is the big opportunity we've been waitin' for."
Grif: "You mean our opportunity to find a place to hole up until this all blows over?"
Simmons: "Some place that isn't a desert?"
Sarge: "No! A place to finally restore the Blues to Command's database. Get yer typing fingers ready Simmons!"
Simmons: "(sigh), okay, I'll bring my carpal tunnel braces."
Weiss grimaced, "I'm still thankful that I worked up the- that I decided to come here instead of taking a desk job at the SDC."
Pyrrha smiled, having guessed what Weiss was about to say, "I believe it was a brave decision to move here instead of having a comfortable job in Atlas."
Weiss smiled, "Thanks, I explained it to Yang and Blake but, once I learned I could fight there wasn't much of a choice for me. I knew what I had to do, there's more to it but... I've already explained that a lot."
"I know your goal with the SDC, it's very noble." Pyrrha nodded.
Weiss smiled and did the equivalent of a curtsy while sitting down, "Thank you."
Sarge: "If we're going to follow them we'll need a vehicle."
Grif: "Well I'm sure we can grab another one from the camp down there."
Simmons: "Why do we need a vehicle, the Blues are walking. I'm sure we can keep up with them on foot."
Blake nodded, "And a jeep like theirs makes a lot of noise."
Grif: "On foot?!"
"I feel the same way." Nora cackled.
Sarge: "Uh, Simmons? We're the Reds. We don't walk anywhere. We travel as the good Lord intended: in the largest possible vehicle with the maximum horsepower allowed by local law enforcement. And if there's no cars available, we find the biggest, nastiest, meanest, land animal we possibly can, beat the crap out of it, and saddle that puppy up."
"That's horrible!" Pyrrha gasped.
"That sounds awesome!" Nora contrasted, "What's the biggest land Grimm? I've already ridden an Ursa! Ohh! What about a Deathstalker? Or those mammoth Grimm?"
"Goliath's are tougher than Deathstalkers in my opinion." Weiss commented, thinking of Goliath attacks on Mantle.
Ruby nodded, "Yeah those things looked tough."
"I don't know, that Deathstalker we fought. Preeetty tough." Jaune grunted.
"Not as tough as our Nevermore." Yang argued.
"Here we go." Ren chuckled.
Weiss groaned, "Jaune be the... ugh bigger man and don't argue."
Jaune was about to open his mouth until Nora stopped him, "Don't listen to her Jaune, she's just mad that your strategy worked better than her team's."
Ruby and Weiss's attention snapped to Nora who chuckled cheekily.
Jaune, being the bigger man hit play before an argument ensued.
Grif: "On foot. Shame on you Simmons. Shame on you."
Simmons: "Sorry."
Sarge: "Let's just forget you ever mentioned it."
Grif: "I think this should go in his permanent record."
Simmons: "Oh just go get the fucking jeep jackass."
Cut to Tucker on the pillar, and the Reds driving off in the background
Tucker: "Hey, where are you guys going!? Wait! Gah, dammit!"
"Wait Caboose and Church left Tucker?" Pyrrha asked.
"Awww, they abandoned him to the Aliens." Nora laughed.
Tucker: "Hey guys, listen. I know you want your supercool piece of technology back. Those guys just took off. Probably to look for it. If you let me go, I can track it down for you, and bring it back. No? Okay then, forget it. Oh my God look, a next gen smartphone! Someone'd just leave that layin' around?"
"Smart phone?" Ren mumbled.
The aliens turn to look, and Tucker jumps off the pillar and starts his chopper
Yang grinned, "So cool, still too barbarian looking for me though."
"I still want to get Gravity dust and make your motorcycle hover." Ruby sighed.
"Yeah but that would cost a fortune." Yang sagged, "But I'm happy with my guns and paint job."
Tucker: "Fooled by the old prototype trick. Classic. Well, seeya bitches I'm outta here. What the- out of gas? Hey uh, you guys have any gas?"
The Aliens raise their weapons and cock them
Both teams chuckled.
Tucker: "You know what? Fuck it, I'm just gonna run."
Cut to Caboose and Church in an abandoned project freelancer facility.
Church: "Alright, I think this is it."
"Looks abandoned." Jaune commented.
Caboose: "This? This doesn't look like anything."
Church: "Yeah. It's not supposed to, that's kinda the idea. Come on, this way."
Caboose: "Man. You really need to clean this place up."
"It's depressing that Mountain Glenn will just, stay there until it eventually sinks into the ground." Blake sighed.
"It's like what Doctor Oobleck said, it will stand as a Grim reminder of a past mistake." Weiss commented.
Church: "Caboose!"
Caboose: "Coming!"
Church: "Come on. Oh yeah here we go. It's this way."
Caboose: "My this way or your this way?"
"What? This isn't a my left or your left issue?" Jaune commented.
Church: "There is no- it's the same this way. Okay yeah, this is, it. I think."
Caboose: "It's a wall. We came all this way for a wall?"
Pyrrha chuckled.
Church: "Caboose!"
Caboose: "Sorry."
Behind them, on a tree, a screen comes on
Caboose: "It's a really, great wall."
Pyrrha continued to chuckle.
FILSS: "Hello. This is a private-"
"Sheila?" Blake frowned.
"It's the tank!" Nora cheered.
"But in a tree?" Ruby raised an eyebrow.
"Of course they would bring back the tank but not Tex!" Yang complained.
FILSS: "-facility. Visitors are not welcome. Please leave immediately. Or, we will be forced to take lethal measures, to ensure the safety of our property."
"This is weird, what happened to Sheila?" Nora asked.
"I don't know, this sounds more like Filiss." Jaune frowned, glancing down at his scroll.
"Filiss is our guide program for the app thingy." Nora waved her hand about, "Probably not the same person... unless Filiss, Sheila, and this new A.I. are all the same person!" She gasped.
Ren chuckled, "I like the theory."
Caboose: "Not as great."
FILSS: "You have thirty seconds to comply, or die. Have a nice day!"
"Comply or die." Nora chuckled, "Nice rhyme."
"She's so polite." Pyrrha smiled.
Caboose: "Sheila? Is that you?"
FILSS: "No. I am the Freelancer Integrated Logistics and Security System. You may call me Filiss. It is a pleasure to meet you. You now have, fifteen, seconds to live."
"Huh, so it is the same." Jaune commented.
"F, I, L, S, S." Blake listed out, "Filiss."
Church: "Whoa. Dying sounds like a bad idea. Maybe we should leave."
"She should remember them, remember that Sheila in the past wanted to be named Filiss but then Church changed her name." Yang explained.
"But that wasn't the past, it was ret-conned remember?" Weiss explained back.
Yang frowned, "That's right. Hmm"
"Another inconsistency." Ren shrugged.
Everyone nodded and left it at that.
FILSS: "Oh my, the Director. I am so sorry, I did not recognize you Sir. It has been such a long time since you have visited. You look very different."
"Who is she talking to?" Ruby asked.
Church: "Talkin' to me?"
"What?" Ruby asked.
FILSS: "Yes. You are the Director of Project Freelancer, are you not?"
"Ohh, because he's the memory of the A.I. that is a copy of the actual Director. Weird... and cool!" Ruby's eyes widened in her excitement.
"That's an excellent theory, I think you're right." Ren smiled.
Church: "Oh uh, yeah. Of course, that's- totally me. I just haven't been around because I've been, doing, you know... Director stuff. Can't really get into it. Secret project."
FILSS: "How may I assist you today?"
Church: "Can we uh... Can we come in?"
FILSS: "Certainly."
"Can anyone read what's on the terminal?" Ruby asked.
Blake squinted, "Something about- hold on Jaune, skip it back a little and pause it."
Jaune nodded and tapped a bit on bis scroll, "That good?"
Blake nodded as she got up to get closer to the screen, "It's a little blurry." Blake cleared her throat silently. "Ok umm, four score and seven years ag- ok this is a lot of reading."
"I thought you liked reading." Yang teased.
Blake sighed, "I do, does everyone want me to read this whole thing?"
"Just summarize it." Ruby ordered.
"I would like to read the whole thing, Jaune can you take a screenshot and send it to me?" Ren asked.
Jaune nodded and proceeded to do so.
Blake mumbled to herself for a bit as she read and then re-read the Gettysburg Address.
"... What's it about?" Ruby asked.
Blake frowned, "It's... strange. I don't think it relates to the show. It sounds like a speech. The whole speech hasn't finished getting typed though."
Jaune nodded, "Let's keep watching and see if it finishes, Ren I'll take a different screenshot and send it to you then."
Ren nodded.
The wall opens behind them.
"That's so cool!" Nora grinned with wise eyes.
FILSS: "Please watch your step."
Caboose: "Kinda spooky in there."
Church: "Yeah... Why don't you go first?"
Caboose: " Me?"
Church: "Well I mean, you're the one with, the gun, and everything."
"Says the one with a laser face." Ruby chuckled.
Caboose: "Yeah, but the tree seemed to like you best. Uh hey Sheila could you-"
FILSS: "Are you speaking to me?"
Church: "We're just kinda used to calling you, by that name? Um, maybe you should just answer him when he calls you that. Probably easier for you to change than it is for him. He's kinda dumb."
Pyrrha sighed, "I don't like that Church sounded sort of caring when he called him dumb."
"You liked it more when it was a clear insult?" Weiss asked.
Pyrrha grimaced, "Yes."
FILSS: "Alright. I will respond to that name as well. You are the Director after all."
Church: "Right. I am." The screen faded to black.
"Ooooh, ominous." Nora chuckled.
"Did you get the end of the speech?" Ren asked.
Jaune nodded, "Blake?"
Blake nodded, "It's a speech apparently from someone named Abraham Lincoln."
"Weird name." Ruby frowned.
Blake shrugged, "It's... really well written. Highly educated, to the point where it's hard to understand at parts. I had to re-read it. It's a memorial speech that seems to have been given on a battlefield."
"That's... sad, what else?" Pyrrha asked, leaning forward.
"Well, the speaker basically is saying that those who died there will not have died in vain, it wasn't clear for which side he was speaking for. He didn't demonize anyone, he honored everyone. He also said that the nation. Whichever one he's talking about, will be reborn and have a government of the people, by the people, and for the people." Blake finished.
"... That doesn't relate to Red vs Blue as all." Nora grumbled.
Ren nodded, "I agree, it's interesting but I don't see how it relates to the show."
"... Uhh, civil war?" Jaune frowned, "The reds and blues fighting?" he suggested.
Ren gasped, "You're right! A red or blue must have given this speech after a battle."
Blake nodded, "That's what I was thinking too. However this Red or Blue sounds very smart, and very different than the others. It sounds like he respects both sides."
"It could have been someone neutral." Ren suggested, "Like a freelancer or medic."
Blake nodded, "Medic sounds right, did you read it too?"
Ren nodded, "While you were summarizing." He held up his scroll, "Thanks Jaune."
Jaune nodded, "No problem, anyway I don't think this speech is very important. If it was it would have been easier to read."
Blake chuckled, "I agree, normally I would think this was foreshadowing, but I think instead it is just a small easter egg."
"Still interesting though." Ren nodded.
"Does this speech have a name?" Jaune asked squinting, "I can't see one on my screen."
Ren and Blake shook their heads and chorused "No."
Jaune nodded, "I still liked it, it reminds me of extra bits of lore you can pick up in games, ones that don't matter to the overall story but are still interesting."
Ruby nodded, "It kind of is like that, I like those too."
"I like them, as long as they're audio logs and not written. I like being able to still play while hearing extra stuff." Yang commented.
I wonder why they put the gettysburg address in the show, but eh, cool easter egg.