Author notes:
Tori's PoV
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I led Jade to my bedroom, making sure to stick closely behind her.
Once we arrived at the door, I walked past her to open it, brushing up against her as I did so as a result of the cramped hallway. I looked over at her, and was met with a blank and cold stare. I couldn't really tell if the look I was seeing was one of fear, or rather of sadness. But either way, it was totally valid. Shit was really not going well for her today.
I cracked open my bedroom door, and held it open for her to make her way in. Her face remained cold, but she slowly took a step forward, entering the room. Admittedly, my room definitely was not her vibe. There were posters of my favorite artists plastered all over the walls, and my walls were painted a light shade of purple. My bed was covered in stuffed animals and pillows, definitely not Jade's thing. I noticed her looking around, taking in the sight.
"So, this is my room." I announced, breaking the awkward silence that was now becoming apparent. I looked over at Jade, who was still taking in the sight of the posters on my wall. I noticed her eyes fixated on one singular poster. Deftones. Okay, now that was probably the one singular thing in this room that she'd actually like. That type of music wasn't usually my thing, but I'd gotten into their stuff because of my Dad.
"Damn, you listen to Deftones? Like for real?" Jade responded hoarsely, probably because of how much she was crying earlier, but she now sounded more curious than anything. She turned to face me, and I caught a glimpse of her wide smile and raised eyebrows. Definitely wasn't how I'd planned on cheering her up, but it seemed to have worked for now, so hey. Credit where credit's due.
"Uhh, yeah! Sometimes, I mean, my Dad likes them way more. He got that poster for me ages ago." I replied, now chuckling slightly, trying to keep the newly created positive mood alive. I noticed her smile drop slightly at the mention of the word 'Dad', which was a little weird, but I brushed it off pretty quickly after she started speaking again.
"Damn, Vega, maybe you're not what I thought you were." She laughed, now looking straight at me. Her eyes were shimmering, and fuck she looked pretty right then and there. I jokingly opened my mouth wide, and threw my hand to my chest in an attempt to look fake offended by her comment.
"Wow! What did you think I was then, West?" I giggled back, watching as Jade walked over to my bed to sit down. She smirked at me and crossed her legs.
"I don't know, I just didn't really think you'd have an actually somewhat okay taste!" She retorted, jokingly. I'd be lying if I said it wasn't nice to just be messing around with her like this. If only it was because she'd wanted to come over and see me, not because she got broken up with and desperately needed help, and didn't feel she had any other choice. But I guess it wasn't all bad; it did feel like just maybe we'd finally be able to start being friends, and if not, I was okay with holding onto the moments like these ones where it felt like the real thing.
"Well, you thought wrong! Now come on, it's late and you've definitely not had an easy day. Let's just get ready and go to bed." I finally responded, ending the conversation. I noticed her demeanor shift a little as I brought her back into a reality she didn't want to be in. I felt guilty, and also a little sad myself that our small moment of shared happiness was over, but it was true. She was going through it, and we had school the next day. Sleep would at least help her to feel a little better.
I walked over to my closet, and swung the door open, looking for pyjamas for both of us to sleep in. I carelessly flung clothes out onto the floor, cursing under my breath as I did so.
It was actually kind of weird. Jade goes through a crisis, and suddenly becomes a whole other person. I felt awful for even thinking it, but damn it wasn't the worst night I'd personally had. It was horrible to see her in pain, don't get me wrong. But it was nice to spend time with her. Just me and her. It was nice to see her smile, even through her hardest moments of the night. It was nice for her to compliment my music taste. And it was all brand new. Just yesterday she was still with Beck, and we were having a horrible fucking argument. And now it was like everything was completely different. A little too fast for my liking, but at least she wasn't threatening to murder me anymore. I wished I could spend time with her more often, it honestly had potential to be so fun. Maybe we could listen to Deftones and just talk, or even sing together. Maybe Jade West really wasn't all that bad, after all. Maybe this other side to her that I'd been hoping and praying for was real.
After a few seconds of flinging clothes around, I finally settled on some plaid pyjama bottoms and a black t-shirt for Jade, and some white shorts and a purple t-shirt for myself. I carelessly tossed the clothes backwards, aiming for Jade.
"Fuck, Tori, that hit my face!" I heard the raven haired girl call from behind me, reprimanding me for throwing the shirt way too hard.
"Sorry! I didn't mean to!" I laughed, now turned around to face Jade, who was still across the room from me on the edge of my bed. I couldn't help but notice her smiling right at me, and that was nice. "I'm gonna get changed now, kay? Look away unless you wanna be traumatised." I joked, trying to keep the mood happy, not wanting to ruin an actually nice moment.
"Jesus, I wasn't gonna look, I'm not a perv, Vega!" Jade joked, turning away from me swiftly. As she did so, I was taken aback by her hair. It was so perfectly curled at the back, her turquoise highlights popping against the black in such a specific way. God, it was like nothing else I'd ever seen, and for a moment I wondered what it would be like to have a real friendship with her. Maybe we could share hair routines and get each other dolled up before going out. And all that fun girl shit I had only ever wished I could do with her without getting yelled at.
Once I was certain she couldn't see anything, I stripped my shirt off, followed by my bra. I was now standing fully topless in the same room as Jade West like a day after we had one of our worst fights. What the fuck. What the fuck is happening right now, and why am I so nervous? I quickly threw on the purple shirt, covering my body. Next, I removed my jeans, and quickly replaced them with the comfy white PJ shorts.
"Okay, you can turn back around now." I chuckled to Jade, who still had her back facing me.
"Alright Vega, tonight is already horrible enough, I swear to fuck if I turn around and see your tits-" She started, before I swiftly cut her off.
"Ew! Jade what the fuck, don't make it gross!" I gasped, shocked by her joke. I heard her deep and raspy laugh fill my room, before she turned to face me, still smiling. Thank God she was feeling slightly better than the state I had greeted her in earlier.
"Okay, Tori, I gotta get changed too, you turning away or what?" She laughed, now holding the clothes I'd given her to borrow for the night.
"You called me Tori." I laughed, after noticing it. Her calling me by my first name was a gesture of respect from her I didn't really hear often, but when I did it was nice.
"Don't take it to heart." Jade warned, yet she was still smiling at me. "Now, you turning away?" she added, repeating her original question and changing the topic back to what it was.
"Yes, I am obviously turning away." I responded, pivoting around on my feet to face away from her.
I couldn't actually see her to check, but I was like 98% sure that she was still staring at me, and I didn't hear her move for a couple seconds, making my heart race a little.
Soon enough, though, the rustling of clothes filled my ears as Jade began to change. Shit, why is my heart racing thinking about this. Why the fuck am I thinking about her changing at all? Oh my god, get it together. Just because you're excited she might finally treat you like you're friends.
I continued standing firmly in place, facing away from the raven haired girl.
"Okay, I'm done." Her familiar raspy voice called out, snapping me out of my small train of thought. I instantly spun back around on my feet, and was quickly met with the sight of Jade West sat on my bed in my pyjamas that were a little more tight fitting on her than me. Damn, I wish I had a body like that. She had a blank look on her face, but she seemed somewhat okay despite how hurt she was and how puffy and dark her under eyes were from crying. Speaking of, she'd stopped crying entirely now, but it definitely wasn't a task to tell that she had been. I failed to reply for a second, rather just kind of awkwardly staring at her. "Uh, Vega? I said I'm done." Jade added, snapping me out of my trance.
"Oh right, of course." I quickly responded, letting out a nervous laugh. "We should probably try get some sleep now, it's late." I added, desperate to change the topic as soon as possible. I steadily made my way across the room toward my bed, flipping on the lamp and turning off the bigger light. I took a seat next to Jade, on the other side of my bed furthest from the window.
"Yeah, I guess so." She spoke, her voice low and quiet. I turned my head to look at her under the dimmer lighting. I noticed her beginning to look upset again. I mean, shit. She'd just been broken up with, and whilst I'd never been through what she had, there's no way it could've been nice to think about shutting your eyes to sleep after something like that happening. I felt a lot of sympathy for her, I mean who wouldn't? Even if she did spend all of her time knowing me being cruel to me for the most part. I eventually took a small sigh, before parting my lips to speak back at the heartbroken girl.
"Look, I know this is hard for you, but I think it really would be a good idea to try get some sleep." I softly said, smiling at her in an attempt to make this slightly easier for her in any possible way I could.
"Yeah..." Jade sheepishly responded. "You're right" she added, whilst turning away from me and tucking herself into her side of my bed.
I cracked a little smile at the sight of her finally laying down, attempting to get some sleep. It had been one insane day, and as much as this situation was truly fucking odd, I couldn't even try and stop myself from caring this much about her, and I still didn't know why that really was considering her past treatment of me, but in a way it was nice. It felt like after all this time of being bullied and tortured by her, that chapter was over. I had no way of knowing for sure, because for all I knew, she could go straight back to her old self the moment she was done using me for help, but man did I hope that wouldn't be the case this time.
"Goodnight." I whispered, before shutting off the lamp, and laying down facing away from her keeping the distance between us in my bed.
"Night." Jade returned, softly.
****
Jade's PoV
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Shit.
I was laying there, enjoying my ten seconds of peace, before last night's events came flooding back into my head. I felt my body begin to wake up shortly after my mind had, and fuck. It felt like I'd just been hit by a semi truck. My head was in pain, I was thirsty, and my stomach felt empty. I felt a physical stabbing sensation within my chest after remembering everything, and my face winced at both the physical and emotional pain I was now feeling.
"Mmmh" I groaned, forcing myself to sit up in the bed and take in the view around me. To make things worse than they already were, I was in Tori Vega's bedroom, painfully aware that she had been there to witness essentially everything horrible that happened the previous night other than the actual breakup itself.
I looked over, and she was still lying there, asleep. I sighed, not wanting to wake her, but also desperately in need of my phone. First of all, knowing the time would be nice. Second of all, Noah. Fuck. I totally forgot to ever let him know where I am.
I frantically searched the duvet surrounding me for my red pearphone to no avail. Shit, shit shit. I need to text him. I need to. Clearly my desperate rustling of the blankets wasn't the quietest thing in the world, because I heard the girl laying on the other side of the bed to me begin to stir. Shit, shit shit, again. I looked over to her, and it was now obvious she had woken up. She turned her head to look at me and her brow quickly furrowed at the sight of my panicked self.
"Mmh, Jade?" She croaked out, her voice tired. I couldn't force any words out of my mouth, and simply stayed sat up, staring across at her. I watched her bring her hand up to her face, and run it down from her forehead to her chin, which clearly brought her back into this reality a little more than beforehand, because right after she quickly pulled herself upwards, now leaning with all her weight in one elbow. "Are you okay? What time is it?" She added, sounding a little more coherent.
"I'm fine, and I have no idea what the time is." I responded, my voice low and quiet. I didn't want to make it too apparent I was in the house, because it had become clear to me that Trina probably did come home at some point last night, and the last thing I needed right now was my least favourite Vega discovering that I was there. Tori fully sat up, and ran a hand through her hair, brushing it out of the way.
"Shit, well, how are you feeling?" She asked, with that familiar caring tone in her voice. I appreciated her concern, but right now, all I could really think about was getting my phone back and fixing the mess I'd made last night with Noah, and also seeing if maybe Beck had cared enough to text or call.
"I don't wanna talk about that right now." I snapped, a little cold. Admittedly, my tone was probably uncalled for, but first thing in the morning, pre coffee after a horrible breakup and possible family issue created. It's not like anybody would really have been expecting anything else, and she understood and quickly stopped pushing. "Have you seen my phone? I need it." I asked her quickly, still focused fully on texting my brother.
"Uhh, I'll take a look." She replied, taking no notice to my coldness. I mean, it's not exactly like she was a stranger to it or anything, but I guess I did feel kind of guilty now I had set in stone evidence that she really did care, and wasn't actually as much of a threat as I had once seen her.
I watched as she got up out of bed, hair messy and clothes creased, and began to scan the floor for my phone. For a moment, my mind began to trail off as I watched her.
I mean, this really isn't so bad. It's not like I suddenly want to be her best friend or anything, but it's sort of nice to be looked out for like this. But I don't want her to hurt me. And I'm scared it'll just be far too weird to start being friends with her after so much time spent hating her. But I definitely do not hate her right now, but do I like her? I don't even know.
"Got it!" Tori announced, bringing me back down to earth. I quickly leapt forward to take it from her hands, not entirely sure about what I'd see, but before I could take the device from her, she spoke again. "You have a lot of missed calls and texts from some Noah guy."
"Give it here." I snapped, snatching the phone from her hands and turning the screen away from her. I frantically began scrolling through my phone, trying to pull up my messages with my little brother as quick as I could.
"Who is he?" Vega asked, but before she could even think of anything else to ask I retorted.
"None of your business, stay out of it, okay?"
She clearly took the hint this time and threw both hands up in surrender, before backing up and leaving me alone in her room to deal with what I needed to alone. I could feel my heart practically beating out of my chest now, and I felt nauseous again, but thankfully there wasn't actually any food in my stomach to throw up after last night. I finally glanced down at Noah's texts after what had felt like way too long.
Noah: Jade, are you coming home? 6:09PM
Noah: Where are you? 8:13M
Noah: I'm worried now, it's late. 11:23PM
Noah: It's 3am and I can't sleep. Please be okay. I don't know what to do right now I'm in your room and I miss you and I just wish you'd tell me where you are. Are you safe? 3:27AM
Fuck. And that was only a few of the messages minus the 20 missed calls.
Jade: Shit. I'm so sorry. Spent the night at Cat's place. I should've told you.
I felt bad lying to him, but anything felt better than facing the current reality of why I was actually at Tori's house.
Noah: Jade you freaked me out so bad. I don't believe you.
Jade: Well you should. I'll be home after school today. I love you.
Noah: Don't even bother if you've got plans. I'm seriously mad with you right now. I'm happy you're okay but I was so worried and you didn't even think one time to text me back. You could've been dead.
Ouch. That one hurt.
Jade: Well I'm alive. I'll see you when I see you I guess.
Noah: K.
Man, I didn't mean to make him mad.
I took a moment to myself, and sighed deeply. The last thing I needed right then was somebody else mad at me, and I could feel tears beginning to burn away in my eyes. I tried to keep quiet this time, not really in the mood for anybody to be around me, but unfortunately I was disturbed by the sound of the alarm on Tori's phone sounding. 6:30AM, time to get up for school. But all it was to me was a reminder that I was going to have to see Beck, all whilst being forced to focus on schoolwork, and that was pretty much where I hit my limit and the tears began to fall.
I buried my head in my hands briefly, before lifting it again and catching sight of myself in Tori's bedroom mirror. Fuck, I look like shit. Tears were rolling down my face, my eyes were swollen and dark, and I was sporting a now scabbed over wound above my left eyebrow.
That was the last straw.
The way I looked combined with the loud blaring of the alarm, the awareness I'd been abandoned by my boyfriend and then pissed off my little brother caused me to bury my head back into my arms and curl up into a ball on Vega's bed, allowing myself to just cry. As loud as I wanted. Which unfortunately drew the attention of Tori, who had actually been standing just outside the bedroom door the entire time, waiting for me to allow her back in.
"Jade..." She softly spoke, picking up her phone and shutting off the alarm. "I know you're not okay right now and I get it and it's expected. And I'm sorry I asked about whoever that guy on your phone is. It's not my business. But I'm seriously worried for you right now." She added, all very quickly. It was clear to me that she really did mean well and want to help, but for the life of me, I just couldn't think very rationally in that moment.
"Why are you worried?" I asked between sobs. "It's just a stupid breakup. I'm sure I'll get over myself sooner or later."
"Because, Jade." She sighed, taking a seat on the bed next to me, and gently placing her hand on my shoulder, to which I flinched at again. "I'm scared that something's gonna.. You know.. Happen to you."
I sniffled and my eyes widened at the comment. It was definitely not the first time I'd heard that from somebody, but I guess I just wasn't expecting it from her.
"Happen?" I questioned, a little nervous that maybe she already knew more about me than I'd been aware of.
"I don't know... I'm just worried and I really don't want to see anything bad happen." She quickly replied. "And I definitely do not want to you know.. Lose you." She sheepishly added.
Her words hit me hard. It's not like she had any way of actually knowing about anything that had happened to me a couple years ago, and I was glad about that, but it was definitely a weird feeling to hear words like those again. Coming out of her mouth out of anyone's. Her words left an uncomfortable sinking feeling in my stomach, and I needed it gone.
"Jesus fucking Christ, Vega. It's not like I'm gonna kill myself over Beck or some shit. It's never that deep." I chimed, still crying, and if anything, it just made the atmosphere even more awkward.
"That's not what I'm saying, Jade." She quickly cut me off. "Or at least... I don't think so? Maybe? I don't even really know what I'm worried about happening. I mean. I definitely don't want that to happen, but I'm not saying it will either. I guess I'm just worried because you literally have not been yourself for weeks now, and if I'm honest with you, Cat was freaked out, and we talked and she told me she was afraid about you and Beck breaking up in case something bad happened. And I don't even know what she meant by that, but whatever it is, I don't want that to happen to you either." She blurted out, as if she'd been keeping that in for longer than she'd liked.
Well, that explains it. Cat. Unlike Tori, Cat actually was there and was friends with me during everything that happened a couple years ago, and I wasn't sure how to feel about that.
"Oh." Is all I managed to respond with at first, but my tears did manage to slow themselves. "How much did she tell you?"
"Not a lot. Actually, pretty much nothing. So I'm freaked." Tori replied.
"Well, I don't think we need to go into it. Nothing like that is going to happen and that's all you need to know." I reassured her, not wanting to freak her out but also definitely not wanting to get into anything. I cracked a small smile at her, which she returned.
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Tori's PoV
*------------*
Well, I still knew nothing about what Cat had been talking about when she told me she was afraid something bad would happen, but at least I now somewhat had some reassurance from Jade. It didn't exactly make everything better all of a sudden, but it did take some of my worry away.
It was probably an awful time to bring it up, but there was still something looming over the both of us which we both were yet to address. School. I definitely wasn't going to make her go, especially not after the way her morning had started, but at the same time I didn't really want her to be alone with her thoughts all day directly after a breakup, either.
"Uh, Jade, I know now is probably a bad time to bring this up, but we still have school today." I gently reminded her, still smiling at her. "Are you coming?" I asked, trying to sound as encouraging as I possibly could.
"Uhhh." Jade replied, breaking eye contact with me and looking down at her thighs.
"I'm not gonna make you, but I think it would be a good idea. Seriously. I'll just tell Trina you showed up here this morning needing a ride, she won't question it. She's fucking insane sometimes." I laughed, trying to encourage her further.
I noticed she still looked a little skeptical, and I understood. It's not like anybody really wants to go to school and face their ex boyfriend and all his friends the morning right after it happened, but I just figured any distractions would be better than none. Without really giving it any second thought, I reached out and placed my hands on top of hers. They were cold, but smooth. Her blue-green eyes looked back up at mine. They were still glossed over, but she was no longer actively crying, which was a good sign.
"Come on." I whispered at her. "It won't be so bad. I'll be there, Cat will be there, Robbie and Andre will be there. None of them even know what happened. Just come with me and whatever happens we'll face it, okay?"
I noticed a smile pull at her lips
"It's not exactly like you and Robbie being there is much of a positive, but fine. You win. I'll go." She sighed, defeated. "Just don't expect to see me in every class."
I had won. And I would absolutely be lying if I said I wouldn't have missed her that day had I not won.
I wasn't really expecting much more from her, but to my surprise, she spoke again.
"But I guess if you don't see me in class, you know where to find me."
"And I know where to look."
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