I'm waiting for someone to call, either Charles, or my mother, or Jules' mother, or someone else, but no one calls. Charles was supposed to come but he might be late because of the traffic. Until Charles comes, I have to plan how to tell everyone that I'm pregnant, I have to do it well, I don't want to party or something, I have to tell them.
I hear a knock at the door and I startle, I think Charles is coming, I take a look at how I am, my clothes weren't wrinkled, I just had red eyes from crying, I wait for him to enter, I think he's with his friend that I've been missing said. I was still holding Jules' hand, as we always do when I hold his hand, the hand where he has the wedding ring.
I see the door open a little and then I hear some whispers.
"Amalia?" I see Charles, you can see that he hasn't slept and that he is stressed and I realize that it is because of this situation. He was holding a bouquet of flowers, more precisely white roses are Jules' favorites and immediately I remember our wedding.
"You can come in Charles." I tell him and I'm waiting to see him, it's been a while since I've seen him.
"My friend can come in too, please." he still doesn't fully enter Jules' hospital room, he's waiting for my answer, he was always like that whenever Jules and I took care of him when he was little, he always asked me and he was polite and listened to me and Jules, he was a little angel .
"Yes Charles, your friend can come in too, come on guys." I tell them and I see them entering the room, behind Charles there was a boy taller than Charles and it seems that he is even older than Charles, in terms of age.
I look at Charles again and see that he has tears in his eyes and he is not looking away, he is looking at his godfather, Jules. His hand was clutching the flowers so hard that I didn't think he could feel his hand anymore, I look at him and I know it's hard for him to see him like this and now I realize why his parents didn't tell him about Jules' condition.
Ever since he was little, he wanted to sign with Jules, from the word to the passion to drive. When I was taking care of Charles, Jules and I spoke only in French so that Charles could understand and when I thought that Charles was not paying attention to what we were talking about, Jules comforted me, always with his declarations of love, the kiss on the forehead, the care he had for me my For little Charles, it was truly a love story that should be written in a fairy tale book.
I leave Jules' hand back on the bed and go to Charles and wrap him and let him cry, it's normal, but it's too much for him, he's known Jules since he came into this world. I'm sorry that he feels that way, I understand his anger, but this is life and this happened because of the FIA.
"Charles you need to calm down, everything will be fine. Please stop crying" I say and put my hand on his back and start to move it in a comfortable way.
"Amalia, how do you know he's going to be okay, look at him, he's connected to the devices. He's not going to be okay. I can't lose him. I don't want to lose him." He tells me and hugs me even tighter, I can't believe that a 17-year-old boy is thinking about something like this, I feel sorry for him.
"We have to be positive Charles, Jules will be fine. Stop thinking about that and sit down." I tell him and lead him to the chair where I was sitting a few minutes ago.
"These are for Jules, I remembered that he likes white roses and I said to bring him some roses. I hope I didn't do anything wrong." he tells me and suddenly I see that 7-year-old boy again, I remember when he was drawing something and he always asked my opinion and when he was wrong he always told me 'j'espère que je n'ai rien fait de mal' (I hope I didn't did something bad ), he had the most adorable voice and accent.
I look at him with the same look I always gave him when he says these things and he immediately nods his head approvingly and thanks him for the flowers. I let him stay next to Jules. I head towards the table and put the flowers in the vase I had on the table in the corner of the room.
I go to the other boy who was sitting by the door and had tears in his eyes, I go to him and I realize that he is not crying just because he saw Charles in his condition. I look at him and he doesn't understand why I'm looking at him like that, I realize he's sad but I don't understand the reason, so I give him a hug, I feel him relax a little more.
"Thanks I needed a hug." he tells me and his accent gives him away, he's French.
"You have nothing to thank me for dear. What do you say we go sit down?" I ask him and he immediately gives me an approving nod and we go to the table.
"Thank you Mrs. Bianchi," she says again, thanking me for a drink,
"Please call me Amalia. How do you know Jules?" I ask him and now I feel like my mother when she knew my friends.
"I've known him since Charles started doing karting, in fact, he used to tell us tricks about karting and what to do on the circuit. I always considered him as a mentor or even a coach. Charles told me what happened and not I wanted to believe what happened, when he told him I didn't believe him, but when I called him, his voice sounded like he was crying, and then I realized it wasn't a joke."
"So you know each other, I'm glad. How come I haven't seen you before?" I asked him
"I don't know, but I always had karting lessons here in France and I knew that Jules is from here, from Nice. But I didn't know that he was married." he tells me and I'm a little surprised.
"How do you know I'm his wife?"
"Charles told me, every time we went out he told me about Jules and his wife. He tells me how you took care of him when he was little and that you were his favorite love story." He tells me and I am shocked by his words. I hear a phone ringing and realize that it's not my phone, it's Charles's friend's. He is talking to someone in French and I realize that it is his brother.
"I have to go, if Charles wants me to take him home, tell me I can, don't bother him." he tells us and waits for Charles' answer
"Pierre, you can go, I want to stay with Jules and Amalia. Thank you for bringing me. We'll talk on the phone." says Charles and I see Pierre nodding approvingly. He says goodbye to us and leaves.
I stay with Charles, I take a chair and put him next to his chair, since he sat down next to Jules he hasn't said anything, he just cried, I understand what he's going through, I take his hand in mine and squeeze his hand a little and look attentive to him, his eyes are on Jules, as if he is lost in thought. I lower my voice a little and look at him.
"Charles, you need to calm down. It's not good for you." I tell him and see him wipe his tears.
"Amalia, it's hard for me, he is my family, you two helped take care of me when my parents were at work, from you I learned what true love means, always when you were with me and showed me animated films, you were one of the each other's arms, I could hear you when Jules made declarations of love to you and you when you called him 'mon amour' and he started kissing you all over your face. I still remember when I told you I was hungry and you both went and made him food , but every time he was at the door and I looked at you, he was always behind you, with his hands around you and put his head on your shoulder and when the music was playing, you were singing. You two were and still are the story that fairy tale you told me at bedtime. Not many people know this, especially since Jules supported me financially to continue in all these things so that I could make a career in the world of motor sports. I don't want to lose him, I want him to see me when I continue and most of all I want him not to end that love story between you." he tells me and now I'm in tears.
I didn't think that he noticed these things between me and Jules, he was just a child, but I see that he noticed that we were in love from a young age. For the first time since he came in, he looks at me and smiles a little. I want my children to be so honest, I get up from my chair and give them a hug. Suddenly there is not one knock on the door, but two. Charles looks at me and just from his look he asks me who it is, I look at him and shake my head that I don't know who it is, I head towards the door and before I open the door, I take a breath.
I open the door and see two of my friends, Sebastian and Sergio.
"Amalia, meine liebe Freundin" (Amalia, my dear friend)
"Amalia estas bien?" (Amalia are you okay?)
Sebastian and Sergio, each in their mother tongue, at the same time asked me, Sergio is younger, he is 24 years old and he is like my younger brother, and Seb is 27 years old and as I said before he is like my big brother .
"First of all, stay calm, I see you ran all the way here and secondly, please speak in English because Charles doesn't understand German or Spanish, I understand that you taught me. I'm fine. Let's sit down." I tell them and then I see Charles get up from his chair and come to me. I feel that he wants to know who these people are, he is curious.
"Seb, Checo, he's Charles Leclerc, he's in Formula 4 and he's Jules' godson." I tell them and then I see Charles coming to me and not standing behind me anymore. I see the two as if they knew Charles, I knew but Charles didn't.
Seb is the first to step forward and look at Charles from head to toe and he is still talking.
"Hello Charles, I'm Sebastian Vettel, I drive for Red Bull Racing Renault, I think you know me. I'm one of Jules' friends and if you continue you'll end up like me, like my friend here and even like your godfather, Jules." He also tells him that he usually always associates things, Seb extends his hand and Charles does the same and they shake hands.
"Hello Charles! My name is Sergio Michel Pérez Mendoza, but Sergio for short, or as my friends call me Checo, I am a driver at Force India Mercedes. Pleased to meet you." he says and takes a step forward and Sergio is a person who prefers to give a hug when he sees a person who is sad or angry, he gives way and Charles goes back to his place, next to Jules.
"Amalia, what are you going to do? You can't always stay in a hospital room," Seb tells me, he always tells me these things, he always asks me and he also answers his question.
He leaves us and goes to the table in the corner of the room and takes the other chairs and takes them next to Jules' bed, he sits on the chair and puts his elbows on his knees and his eyes are on the ground. Charles goes and sits down again in the chair where he was sitting a few minutes ago.
Sergio comes closer to me and gives me a hug, he's smaller than me but we both know it's not good, in Sergio's arms I can cry, he doesn't judge me for anything. Sergio is that person who lets the person cry in his arms until he calms down. I am lucky to have him in my life.
" Amalia, hermana, ¿qué vas a hacer ahora? No puedes quedarte aquí, necesarios aire, un poco de sol. Entiendo que es tu esposo y que lo amas, pero también tienes que cuidarte. " (Amalia, sister, what do you what are you going to do now? You can't stay here, you'll need some air, some sun. I understand he's your husband and you love him, but you have to take care of yourself too.) he whispers to me and holds me tighter, he felt that I started to cry.
"Sergio.." that's all I could say and start crying again. Sergio realizes that I will need some air and looks at Seb who still had his eyes on the ground.
"Seb? I'm going to take Amalia to get some air, she needs to calm down. You stay with Charles. Jules' family and Amalia's family must also come. You stay here in case they come. Ok?" says Sergio and waiting for Seb to say something. Seb raised his head and looked at me, I was still in Sergio's arms, Seb nodded.
He holds me tightly in his arms and we go out the door of Jules' hospital room, for the first time I leave Jules' side. After a few minutes of walking, I arrived in the hospital yard, Sergio sits me down on the bench and goes to get coffee, I look down and wait for Sergio to come. I don't realize when Sergio turned around until he put his arm around his shoulders and brought me to his chest.
"Sergio, I can't do it anymore. I want him to get well, I can't live without him. I've known him for so long." I tell him and start crying harder and harder.
"I know Amalia, but we have to be optimistic and positive. Regardless of what happens, I will be with you," he tells me and I know that he is being honest at this moment and I should also tell him the big news.
"Sergio, si sigues siendo sincere conmigo, yo también tengo que ser sincere contigo. Sergio, estoy embarazada de mellizos." (Sergio, if you continue to be honest with me, I have to be honest with you too. Sergio, I'm pregnant with twins.) I told him in Spanish, that in case someone passes by us, at least he doesn't understand what am I talking about with Sergio?
"Mi querida hermana, qué maravillosa noticia. ¿De cuántas semanas o meses estás? Dios, estoy tan contenta."(My dear sister, what wonderful news. How many weeks or months are you? God, I'm so happy.)
I look for the ultrasound scan in my coat pocket and take it out and give it to Sergio, I look at his reaction, he drew his finger where the babies were in the picture, he also had tears in his eyes, he looked at the ultrasound scan and then he looked at my pregnant belly .
Sergio comes closer to me and hugs me.
"Amalia, no matter what happens, I will be by your side. Regardless of the situation, I will help you and your babies, and now if you'll excuse me, I want to say hello to them. Hello dears, I'm Uncle Sergio, I can't wait to see you." he said and discreetly put his hand on the pregnant belly, he was excited by this.
I am lucky to have the best people on earth by my side and I am lucky to be able to call them family.