I wake up before Natalie for the first time, I'm always asleep longer than her. But...she has been through a lot recently so it's normal for her to be tired.
I stay laying against her chest as her arm says wrapped around me. I lay my head back down as I listen to her heart beating.
It was kind of awkward last night..I got angry with her yesterday and said some things—thanks for Charlie he stopped me from saying anything else that I didn't mean....but would have said out of anger.
We had a bath then talked about our wedding music which I loved, there's still like twenty songs that she still has to listen to...
Usually when I come home it's us on top of each other straight away trying to rip each others clothes off because we haven't seen each other in so long but we had an argument before we could do that....
I listen to her steady heart beat, I wish I knew what she felt in her heart. It's weird...but I just wish to know every part of Natalie, even if I've seen it, I want to know her...I know mostly everything but I just never know what's going on in her head..sometimes I can catch on—but not like her, she always seems to know what I'm thinking.
I do know that when my heart beats a little too fast, it's beating for her when she's near. I think my heart always beat a little more when she's around and in the best way possible.
I get off of her, I lift the blanket slowly, she's a light sleeper so I carefully get out of the bed trying my best not to wake her.
I wonder if it will snow this Christmas. It's cold enough to, I got Natalie some things...I got her a really pretty ring, not a proposal one but it was expensive, I've been saving all year on some of my money from my part time job at the diner. I do have to give her the birthday present I got her for her birthday. She told me not to get her anything but I did...
Well, I made it, I made this little jar, with different colour sticky notes folded up. Red is for memories, I put my favourite ones in there, green and yellow is reasons why I love her—I had to use two colours because there was too many and I got a little lazy but I could have wrote more. Purple is our songs and blue is for when she's feeling a little sad. It's something she will find cringy but she will still read them and deep down she will love it.
Oh—also for Christmas, I got her a few books...just ones I think she would like, I of course annotated most of them for her. I made her a little pamper box too, just for when she's stressed with work—I made it back in my dorm..so maybe for when she's just stressed. I got her other things too...
I have to get Charlie's guitar in the next couple of days, he's been talking about getting one but I convinced him to hold off on it...only so I could get it...again I've been saving basically all year for these presents...including Janes, Becks and some other people.
I did have to take some extra shifts at work so I could afford some things but it's fine, I also got Charlie crocs since he won't stop talking about getting them but never does and a grill cheese maker because he's obsessed with grilled cheeses.
If Natalie found out I was taking extra shifts and saving all year for presents, she would kill me. She already sends me money often, I'll wake up some mornings and she's sent me money with a message reminding me to have breakfast and a coffee. If I send the money back she will give out about it saying she's just helping out...I need it of course but I don't want it, it makes me feel bad but Natalie loves to give give give. It's her thing, she loves to spend money on me and it makes me frustrated with her at times because she will buy something if I brought it up once.
I open the closet, stepping inside, it's a walk in closet, not a big one, you can take about two steps. I have my own space in here.
I grab some things I need from my side before grabbing one of Natalie's oversized hoodies, Natalie loves oversized hoodies, so do I. I got her some for Christmas but I'm obviously going to borrow them.
I leave the closet closing the door behind me, I go in the bathroom door, I close out the door before putting my clothes down on the counter by the sink. I am dying for a hot shower.
I open the shower door, I reach in turning on the shower before turning it to the hot side. I close the shower before I strip down, I pull my shirt over my head with a yawn.
Natalie also told me last night her dads funeral is tomorrow since we were too giddy to sleep...so I guess I'm meeting her family.... Olivia's gonna be there, if I was strong I would beat her up if she came near Natalie but unfortunately for me, I'm not. I mean I could always throw a weak punch and run but then again...I'm not a fast runner.
The hot water instantly warms my cold body as I step into the shower and steam begins to fill the bathroom. I run my hands through my hair as I turn, my back to the shower head. The hot water soaks my hair.
I love winter, I do prefer autumn but winter is cozy too. I get to take hot showers and when I get out the it isn't roasting like it is during the summer. I also get to wear fluffy socks to bed and fluffy pyjamas with out waking up in a pool of sweat...ew. I love the thought of Christmas, the vibes of it but really when it's comes up to Christmas....it's just never really that good—except for last Christmas, Natalie made sure it was really good...in a lot of ways...I forced her to wear matching pyjamas and we watched Christmas movies though. I got us matching pyjamas this year but she doesn't know yet.
I turn back around, letting the water hit my face, I run my hands down my face, letting out a breath as I keep my eyes closed.
I hear the bathroom door open.
I step back from the water, rubbing my eyes to clear my vision quickly. I look around the bathroom but I can't see due to the steamed up glass.
"Natalie?" I say. No response.
I squint a little, I can see a figure...if this is how I die...being murdered in a shower, that's not very convenient and especially so close to Christmas.
"Baby." I say and no response again. I glance to the floor as I vaguely see a familiar shirt drop to the floor calming my heartbeat at the chance of it being a serial killer....unless they killed Natalie and took her shirt. I smile turning back to the shower head, wetting my face again as it's relaxing and heats up my body.
The shower door opens, I get a whiff of the cold air causing my to shiver a little. I feel her presence closely behind me as the door shuts.
I drop my head a little so the water stops going in my eyes, instead it wets my hair.
I freeze at her cold hands touching my waist.
"Your hands are freezing." I whisper. The coldness of her hands doesn't stop me from leaning back though, pressing my warm back against her cold front.
"I woke up alone." She says running one hand through through my hair, water runs down my bare body as I turn my head to look back at her over my shoulder.
"Usually I'm the one waking up alone." I say and she hums, right by my ear, I shiver as I keep looking at her.
"You didn't ask me to join you in the shower, usually you're begging me to come with you." Her lips tug up into a smirk as she looks at my lips. I smile myself.
"I thought I'd let you sleep, and no invite doesn't stop you from joining me and almost giving me heart attack." I tell her. I hold her eye contact as she looks up to my eyes, she moves her hand away from my waist, she presses one of her fingers to my face, wiping the water droplets. I break the eye contact looking down her body.
"Aren't you supposed to be showering?" Natalie questions and I look back up at her.
"I am." I say quietly. She raises her eyebrows and I smirk a little.
I watch the water droplets begin to run down her skin, from her neck, dripping down lower towards her chest..than to her stomach and continuing to go lower.
I watch more water drops fall, I press my finger against a water drop that falls down the centre of her chest. Her hand moves from my face and down to my hips, I look up at her through my eyelashes. My eyes drop to her lips before looking back into her eyes.
My heart thumps in my chest as we both look at each other, the water wetting us both. I reach up, moving my hand into her hair. I move closer by a step. I lean up, closing my eyes and opening my mouth, just as I'm about to kiss her, she speaks.
"Go back to showering." She whispers, I feel her breath against my face. I huff as she moves me by my waist so that I'm facing away from her, facing the shower head again.
"Can't you help me?" I look back at her and she reaches in front of me for the pink loofah, I turn my head, facing the water, letting the hot wet feeling run down my body.
I hear a bottle opening behind me before I hear it close again, I run my hand through my hair, squeezing the ends.
I feel her body being pressed up against mine, my stomach jumps as usual before she reaches in front of me wetting the loofah with water. She squeezes it and I watch the soap, as her arm goes under mine.
I don't move, I stay where I am, pressed up against her now warm body.
She kisses the back of my head before resting her cheek against mine and I smile closing my eyes as I take my bottom lip between my teeth.
She presses the loofah against the top of my chest, by my neck, she rubs it in circles, gently against my skin. I open my eyes as I look down, watching the soap begin to run down my pale and flat stomach, before lower, reaching my thighs.
I look to her arm, her tanned arm, my eyes travel up. I look at her hands that are half covered with body soap now, i look at the veins in her hands that stick out slightly, her hands are bony, her fingers skinny and long. I look at her short, red gel nails.
I lean back more into her body, I feel her other hand go to my waist, stopping me from moving. My heart thumps fast and hard in my chest. I really think she should touch me...
She moves the loofah lower, slowly. My stomach jumps.
"Natalie.." I whisper as I feel her hot breath against my ear.
"Mhm?" She hums and I turn my head looking back at her. My eyes go straight to her lips as I'm just inches from a kiss.
I keep looking at her as I reach for her hand, I cover it and make her drop the loofah. She breaks a smile and I lean forward, kissing her. She pulls back looking at me again.
"Shower." She says and I frown, she copies me.
I turn forward again, I look down at her hand as I still hold it. I move her hands to the water, getting the soap off as she leans down. She nips at the side of my neck making me smile.
"Touch me instead." I whisper as she presses her lips against my neck.
"Touch you?"
"Yeah—please." I say. She hums against my neck, I feel the vibration from it on my neck sending shivers down my body.
"Touch you where, darling, here?" She asks as she squeezes my waist, I shake my head.
"Lower." I tell her and she runs her fingers down my side, she will touch me everywhere except where I want it unless I tell her.
"How about here?" She asks, I huff staring at the shower wall before moving her hands off of me as I turn around facing her.
"You annoy me sometimes, baby." I grab her face kissing her. She hums out of surprise gripping my waist again. My stomach swoops as I hold onto to her face.
Her other hand moves up my back as both our mouths open at the same time. She pulls my body against hers and I moan as I move my tongue into her mouth.
My mouth works fasts against hers before she pushes me back against the wall as she keeps her body pressed against mine, I gasp at the feeling of the cold wall against my bare back and as she bites my bottom lip, tugging.
"Natalie." I say breathless from the kiss, she hums letting go of my lip, I look up at her through my eyelashes as I touch my bottom lip.
"Touch me, please." I beg, she forces my legs apart as she presses her knee between them. I move my hand up to her hair as she holds eye contact with me making me nervous but I hold it.
"You're so needy." She laughs leaning against me as I'm trapped between her and the wall, I'm naked with her in a hot shower...if she seen her body and the way she speaks to me she would be needy too. I close my eyes smiling myself at the pressure of her knee between my legs and at the feeling of her teeth against my neck as she starts nipping.
"You do it to me." I say. She pulls her knee away, replacing it with her hand, her body presses up against mine more and I bite my lip where she previously was biting.
She presses her fingers into me as I lean my head back against the wall as Natalie leans down, taking my nipple between her teeth as she tugs.
I look at her as I move my hand into her hair again, massaging as I smile slowly letting go of my lip.
She starts to move her fingers quickly, out of surprise, I moan at the sudden wave of pleasure.
I grip her hair and she smiles kissing my boob, she sucks pulling back before letting go as her fingers hit my walls, I moan moving my back off the wall, my body pressing against hers.
She hits my spot, hard as she stops her fingers, the pressure making me whimper.
"Ah!" I grip her hair as she suddenly strokes her fingers fast and hard against my spot repeatedly. I keep moaning as I feel my legs going weak, I shut my eyes, I pull her against me as I start kissing her neck.
"Baby—shit, right there!" I whimper loudly against her skin over the pleasure between my legs, I wrap my other arm around her, holding her since my legs will probably go from under me.
"That's it, my beautiful girl." She breathes heavy and I close my eyes and my waist bucks against her making me bury my face into her neck quickly.
I feel myself tightening as my eyebrows knot together, her hand wraps around my waist as the other keeps hitting my spot repeatedly. I gasp against her neck. My mouth opens and my breath hitches before a moan escapes as the strong pleasure washes over my body, one I haven't felt in a few months.
"Good girl, you're alright, darling." She says as my legs shut and I go quiet burying my face against her neck again. I realise how hard I gripped onto her hair and loosen my hand. She pulls her fingers out slowly as I lift my head.
"Are you okay?" I whisper as my eyes go to her fingers as she brings them to her mouth making me heat up between my legs again.
"Yes, of course I am. You have a tight grip, but it turns me on." She smiles holding her hand out to me, her two fingers curled. I take her wrist bringing the two fingers to my lips. She looks at my mouth as I lick her fingers, tasting myself off of them while I clean the mess off of them.
"You came quickly, darling." She speaks again as I let go of her fingers.
"It's been like four months since I've had an orgasm..." I huff and she smiles.
"You can touch yourself when you're away, I don't mind." She says and I huff.
"I did once with the video you sent me before and I got uncomfortable...I can't get myself off." I say and she rubs my cheek with her thumb.
"When you go back to Yale, I'll make sure you get your pleasure." She kisses me and I smile.
"I get pleasure from you....speaking of...I want to hear your moans now." I tell her. Her lips curve into a smirk as I sink down to my knees in front of her.
✺
I rest my legs across Natalie's lap as we watch tv, she's making me watch 'You' again. She has some weird obsession with joe Goldberg. She did offer to paint my nails though because I'm terrible at doing them. She's painting them red. My legs are her table. Tatum, Maria and Charlie were supposed to come over like an hour ago but never showed up. Charlie messaged me an eggplant emoji so I'm guessing he bumped into some guy and is now going home with him...
"Are you sure you're a lesbian, baby? You seem very obsessed with joe Goldberg." I smile and she stops painting my nails and looks at me.
"It's a good show."
"Not really." I huff and she looks at me raising her eyebrows.
"I'm joking." I laugh and she rolls her eyes. She focuses on painting my nails.
"Actually, that's my Professors name...Professor Moore, like Joe in season four." I tell Natalie and she hums.
"The one who wants you bent over her desk?" She questions and I huff.
"Being her TA makes me money...and it gives me something to do." I shrug.
"What about your friends?" She looks at me. I freeze looking away, we've had this conversation a lot...Natalie can see through me, she knows I don't have friends at Yale...she just doesn't discuss it with me because she can tell I don't want to talk about it...
"They just....have their own things."
"Oh, yes, I'm sure of that. You need more confidence, you're quiet so people don't notice you, I mean that in the nicest way possible." She says still painting my nails.
"I like not being noticed...I only care about being noticed by you." I say and she rolls her eyes smiling.
"Shut it."
"When are you going to admit you love the cute things I say?" I ask her and she snorts.
"Never, because I don't. Maybe professor Moore likes them." She's not mad, she knows it annoys me so she will keep going with it.
"Maybe I'll have to keep saying those types of things to her when she bends me over her desk." I smile and Natalie stops painting my nails.
"Too far." She closes the nail polish as she finishes painting my nails. She smacks my thigh, not hard but I jump.
"Natalie!" I shove her shoulder and she smirks biting her lip.
"That's the only name you're allowed to scream." She grips my chin smiling and I roll my eyes.
"You're so annoying and that was cringy." I move her hand away.
"I know and we will both forget I said it but I didn't hear you agree to it." She leans over, putting the nail polish down.
"Your name is the only name I want to scream." I smile leaning over to kiss her.
"It better be, I was your teacher once too." She says and I laugh.
"So? Natalie, honestly I don't even get attracted to people anymore, only you, I mean Love in 'You' is kinda hot or whatever but it's only a small crush."
"I saw her number on your phone this morning. I wasn't snooping so don't accuse me of it." She says as I lay back on the couch while she gets on top, I rest my thighs down against hers.
"Liar." I smile.
"Shut up, I just came across it...Why do you have her number?" She asks, she's not angry but she just looks genuinely...scared or concerned maybe?
"I asked her for it. I don't check my emails much and if she needs help with grading, I probably won't see it."
"Is grading like our detentions we used to have?" She moves one of her knees, pressing it between my legs. I bite my lip with a quiet moan as I feel the pressure between my legs.
"No."
"Is she attracted to you?" She asks and I hold eye contact with her.
"I actually kind of think so." I move my hand down stopping her knee. She squints at me a little as she moves her knee away.
"What did she do?"
"Nothing, she's just really..flirtatious...I think, I'm not sure.. She stares at me, like I do to you." I say and she hums.
"And what do you do?"
"Laugh...I mean I bring you up, like on your birthday..."
"Does it turn you on?" She asks and I laugh.
"No...I get awkward, I mean she's pretty, yeah, but she's more your type. " I shrug.
"If she makes a move on you I'll kick her ass."
"You won't have to, baby, I'm yours and nobody else." I smile leaning up kissing her.
"You better mean that."
"I do, I really do...And that turns me on."
"Me kicking your professors ass?"
"No, you being miss protective." I say and she rolls her eyes.
"You make everything disgusting." She sighs, but I can tell she's holding that smile back. She goes to get off of me but I pull her back down.
She looks down at me and I smile biting my lip slightly.
"Again? Are you serious?" She asks and I huff.
"You pressed your knee up between my legs, what do you expect?!" I ask and she shakes her head smiling.
"If you get your period over the next two weeks, how are you going to survive?" She questions.
"I will survive perfectly fine..I'm just praying you don't get yours because you don't even cuddle me when you get it." I look up at her as I pull at the strings on her shorts.
"Yes, I do, you just seem to be extremely horny when I get mine and want to be touched every five minutes and the only thing I want to eat is ice cream...." She looks at me and I shrug.
"We only get so much time together." I smile and she shakes her head, rolling her eyes.
"This is the third time today."
"No...the bed was a continuation of the shower."
"Darling, I got dressed and I had to strip for you again."
"You didn't have to, you chose to and you were walking around in your bra."
"So I can't walk around the house in a bra?" She questions smiling and I smile back looking at her.
"No—you can....You were teasing!"
"How was I teasing?" She laughs pinching my side and I squirm.
"You....I—You just were!" I stutter and she glances down before looking back at me through her eyelashes.
"Stop doing those eyes now!" I complain and she smiles looking away as she kneels up above me. She pulls her shirt over her head and I smile leaning up onto my elbows.
"Take off your shirt too." She tells me, I sit up slightly pulling my own shirt over my head. I drop it on the floor before I wrap my arm around Natalie's back. Her hands go to my shoulders as I start kissing her stomach.
"You're gonna have to get those pants off too if you want me to touch you." She laughs moving my hair back.
"I want to touch you, can I?" I ask pulling back as I look up at her, I look to her boobs.
"Yes, you can." She says and I unclip her bra quickly. I drop it to the floor.
I move my hands the her waist, squeezing as I lean up nipping at one of her nipples while I look up at her.
Her hand moves around the back of my neck, sliding up into my hair as she bites slightly at her lip, it's barely noticeable.
I suck as I lean up more as she stays kneeled up over my lap. I move my hands back, I move them under her shorts, to her butt.
I squeeze and she lets out a breath, I nip at her nipple once more before I lay back, pulling her down with me.
"Don't rip my hair out." I smile as I move my hand to the front of her shorts instead, she laughs.
"Big talk for someone who's hesitating now." She says and I glance up to her since my eyes were on her shorts.
"I'm nervous, you make me nervous."
"You're nervous? You seem confident that I'm going to rip your hair out."
"I'm trying to be a top, since you never let me be one." I push her shorts down, her panties along with them.
"Mhm, just touch me, I'm waiting." She says, as I move my hand between her legs, feeling the wet between them.
"Maybe say please and I will." I whisper looking up at her as she moves her hair back.
"Please."
"Please what?"
"Please touch me, now be a good girl for me and do as I said, hm?" She searches my eyes and I shut my legs as I press my fingers into her soaking core.
"Expecting a thank you?" She questions glancing down, I think for a second, not moving my hand causing her to look up at me.
I press my fingers against her walls quickly—and hard, applying pressure. She moans right away at the sudden pleasure.
"Oh fuck—alright." She glances down at my hand. I start moving my hand quickly as I smile and my legs shut tighter at her gripping onto my shoulder.
She breathes heavy as my fingers continue to pleasure her, getting harder as she likes it.
"So good for me." She moans, huskily—or maybe raspy would be the right word and through her teeth, I glance down at my hand which is moving into her quickly. I look back up at her. Her other hand grips my jaw as she leans down, pressing her lips to mine.
I open my mouth against hers, moving my tongue into her mouth, she gasps into my mouth, her back arches causing her stomach to meet mine.
I nip at her lip, tugging as I pull back since she can't focus on the kiss. I look at her as she keeps her eyes shut for a second as her mouth stay open.
I smile moving my free hand to her waist as I angle my hand better and hit her spot repeatedly.
Her hand shut beside my head as I feel her tightening around my fingers.
"Shit, Diana." She moans my name making my thighs shut even harder. Her legs shake at either side of mine. I sit up slightly so I can keep moving my fingers quickly.
My fingers hit her walls hard as her legs try to shut but they can't because of mine.
I smile as her waist twitches forward, I hold onto it as her breath hitches a few times. She tightens around my fingers, I don't stop moving my fingers. Looks like both of us were in need of an orgasm...
She quickly reaches down rubbing her clit. She kisses down my chest, she moans against my skin.
"Oh my god, Natalie." I whisper at her moans, I finally slow my hand as her legs shake and she breathes heavy. She drops down on top of me and I move her hair back.
"Oh fuck." She breathes heavy and I smile as her head rests against my chest.
"Are you okay?" I ask since we always asks each other afterwards.
"So good, darling." She mumbles and I smile wider...honest proud of myself. I grab the fluffy blanket that hangs if the back of the couch.
I put it over us as I kiss her head...I like being the one comforting her for a change.
"Are you tired?" I ask.
"I'm just closing my eyes for a few minutes." She mumbles and I laugh a little, maybe I'm too good with my hands that I've killed her...or she's tired from everything.
"Okay, I love you." I whisper.
"I love you." She mumbles quietly.
She turns her head, facing the back of the couch, I kiss the top of her head again as her arms slide around my waist. I try to stop smiling but I can't.
A/n
You're welcome. This chapter killed me, seriously. It's five thousands words and most of it is smut...This chapter was originally just the shower scene but because of the comments on the previous chapters, I added in a second scene.
Don't expect smut the next chapter since it's a funeral...But there will be more soon along with cute little things.
Hope everyone's week is going good.