T H I R D P E R S O N
Just like beauty, art is subjective. It is a product of human creativity. As it relies on the perspective of the viewers and is based upon the artist's personal feelings. Not only that, the way that artists choose to physically represent their work is as varied as the art itself. An individual may paint, sing, dance, sculp, design, or even take on the role of the model.
But this particular artist has a strange way of expressing his art.
Contrary on the appealing demeanor of an art, this one is a bit sinister and unsettling.
Sa loob ng madilim at malamig na silid, maingat na tinatabas ng isang binata ang balat sa mukha ng isang babaeng bangkay.
Dahan-dahan niyang tinutuklap ang maputla nitong balat na animo'y nagbabalat lang ng baboy. Malinis ang pagkakahiwa niya, propesyonal ang pagkakagawa. Walang bahid ng pandidiri ang makikita sa kanyang mga mata, kundi puro kaluguran lamang. Iba pa rin ang saya na binibigay nito sa kanya. Ang makitang humihiwalay ang balat sa laman ng bangkay at tanging lumulugwang mga mata nito ang maiiwan.
He is creating his art.
Sinulyapan niya ang litratong nakabitin sa wire kung saan makikita ang nakangiting larawan ng isang dalaga. Naka-peace sign pa ito kasama ang kanyang mga kaibigan, masigla at buhay na buhay.
Inadjust niya ang eyeglasses bago yumukod upang kumuha ng picture frame sa ilalim ng cabinet. He then carefully placed the skin inside the frame as if it were a photo.
Bumaling siya sa bangkay na huba't-hubad at ngayo'y wala ng natirang balat sa mukha. Pinasadahan niya ito ng tingin pagkuwa'y huminto sa dibdib nito na may malaking butas na animo'y paulit-ulit na sinaksak ng mariin.
Wala na itong silbi sa kanya. Isang malaking basura.
The corner of his lips twisted upwards when he nailed the frame on the wall, which is filled with countless other picture frames with human face skin inside of them, all belonging to young girls that once had their own life and dreams. Each frame has a printed name below to indicate the identity of the owner.
"How beautiful . . . " He was pleased upon admiring his art, especially the new one that was named Sheina Taguchi.
There was this sense of satisfaction running through his system every time he looked at a person being deprived of life. The way a dead person's body is cold as a winter, its purpled veins tangled like a wildlife forest at night, and the eyes being clouded with grayish opaqueness as they sink back into their sockets. Nothing is more beautiful than the sight of a mere corpse.
"Too bad it can't be displayed on a museum. "
Nakakadismaya para sa kanya na hindi masisilayan ng mga tao ang kagandahan ng kanyang nilikha. Nakakapanghinayang na hindi nila mararamdaman ang ligaya sa tuwing ginagawa niya ang proseso nito. Kung sana'y mas lawakan nila ang pag-iisip.
* * * * *
R E N
Tuluyan akong naubusan ng pasensya kay Bundy. Who knows ano ang kaya niyang gawin sakin kung hahayaan ko lang siya? It's also frustrating that I can't just report him to the police or to the landlady just because I don't have any evidence to prove he's actually a creep. Kaya ngayon, I'm gonna prove to them I wasn't being paranoid. That he goes inside my room, rummaging through my clothes.
Nilagay ko ang aking nag-iisang lipstick sa unang bahagi ng drawer kung saan nakalagay ang aking mga undergarments. In this way, I'll know if he touched it.
If nawala ito o napunta sa ilalim, tama ang aking hinala.
I looked for a moment at the closed room on the other end of the hallway. Ryu's room has been quiet ever since he left yesterday. I guess busy talaga siya sa trabaho.
Isa pa, hindi ko rin masyadong nakakasalamuha ang ibang tenants lalong-lalo na si Moses. Nasisilayan ko lang ata yun 'pag nagpapa-dinner si Auntie Jo. Siguro mabuti nalang din na ganyan. I'm going to loose my mind even more if I keep interacting with those creepy dudes.
Hindi ko nadatnan si Auntie Jo sa ibaba dahil namamalengke siya. As usual, nakahiga pa rin ang kanyang asawa sa sahig ng kanilang kwarto. Nakatitig sa kawalan. Kawawa naman. I can't imagine how tough it must've been to be completely unable to move.
On my way to school, may napansin akong palaboy-laboy na pusa sa gilid ng mataas na hagdanan. Kulay gray ang balahibo niya at kay bilog ng mata. There's a narrow alleyway doon kung saan maraming mga basura ang tinatambak. The poor kitty must've lived beside the trashes.
"Meow!" It warms my heart when it didn't scratch me, hinayaan niya lang ako na i-pet siya.
"I wish I could take you home." giit ko habang panay ang pag-meow niya. If may maayos lang ako na tirahan, matagal ko na siyang inuwi. Isa pa, bawal sa apartment magdala ng alaga.
"Are you hungry?" tanong ko sa pusa.
"Meow~"
May baon naman akong pandesal na kinuha ko sa ref ni Auntie Jo. Binigay ko na lamang ito sa kawawang pusa. Baka kahapon pa ito walang kain.
"Eat well, mingming."
Habang abala siya sa pagkain ng pandesal, umalis na ako bago pa ito sumunod sakin. I don't want to leave the kitty alone but I have to go to school. Babalikan ko nalang siya pag-uwi.
I arrived a few minutes before Miss Suzi came. She's earlier than usual. What caught our attention is the glum look in her face, her spirit somehow is on a rock bottom.
"Heartbroken kaya si miss?" bulong ni Riko sakin.
"Ewan ko. " I respond in a low tone.
Everybody seems to be affected by our teacher's presence that they stopped talking loud and whispered to each other.
"Everyone, stand up. " our class president announced. We immediately stood up and greet her the usual morning greetings.
"Good morning Miss Suzi!" tsaka nagsi-upo kami pagkatapos.
Huminga ng malalim si miss na parang nahihirapan siya sa kung ano man ang sasabihin sa amin.
"Class, you have noticed the absence of your classmate, Sheina Taguchi. She hasn't showed up ever since the school year had begun. She's been missing for about a week now. Nobody knows where she is, even her parents." sabay tingin niya sa bakanteng upuan sa tabi ko.
"Baka di kinaya ang hiya sa damit niyang Chanel daw pero galing naman sa street market. " biglang singit ni Sara. Nagsitawanan silang lahat sa sinabe niya.
Nilingon ko sina Riko at Kei sa likod, tulad ko ay hindi sila natuwa sa biro ng demonyita. Pati yung ma-attitude na Yohan ay hindi rin natawa.
"Stop that everybody." sita ng class president.
They stopped from laughing but Sara and her friends are grinning widely as if it was all a joke to them.
"Class, please take this seriously. I'm asking all of you to wholeheartedly pray for Sheina. May God guide her and take her back home."
They clasped their hands together as they prayed in silence. Habang taimtim silang nag da-dasal, panay ngiti at hagikhik ang mga kaibigan ni Sara na parang kinikiliti ng demonyo. Those bastards have no conscience at all.
Nang bumaling ako sa harapan, aksidenteng nagtama ang tingin namin ni Yohan. Nagulat ako ng bahagya. His deadpan expression makes it harder for me to read his mind. Is he mad? Did I do something wrong? Why is he even looking at my direction?
* * * * *
"Kaya pala ang bilis maubos ng mga paninda sa canteen kasi ikaw yung taga ubos!"
"Hoy tabachoy, tirhan mo naman kami ng pagkain. Hindi ka ba naaawa?"
"Come on Daisy, you know pigs have to consume massive amount of foods. Right? Oink oink!"
Kahit naka earphone, tumatagos parin ang nakakarinding boses ng limang tukmol. Hindi ako makatulog ng maayos sa kaingayan nila. Mas dumagdag sa inis ko ang rason kung bakit sila maingay. Ano pa ba ang iba nilang ginagawa? They're bullying someone again.
Pasimple akong lumingon sa likuran kung saan tinatampal-tampal ni Sara ang matambok na pisnge ng isa naming ka-klase na si Jiro. Although he may seem fluffy, Jiro has the greatest heart of everyone in the class. Panay ang pag-atras niya sa lagayan ng mga walis, takot at hindi makapagsalita. Samantala, pinagtatawanan naman siya ng apat habang pinapalibutan siya. I was in his situation, ramdam ko kung anong nararadaman niya ngayon.
Jiro flinched hard when Kaito suddenly snatches his burger, "Dude, you're eating hundreds of calories by eating just one burger. Hindi ka ba nandidiri sa katawan mo? Kasing taba mo yung patty oh. " He's grinning from ear to ear as his friends laugh maniacally.
The poor guy can't do anything but to swallow all of the hurtful words.
I looked around to see everyone minding their own business. It's obvious they don't want to get involve. Alam nila kung gaano ka ruthless ang limang 'yun. Ngunit anong pinagkaiba nila sa mga bullies? They're just letting it happen. Even the class president went outside, hindi ko matukoy kung sinadya niya o talagang may gagawin lang siya sa labas.
"How about you go to a gym to the point na mag ka-kasya na itong choker ko sa leeg mo?" hirit ni Akira at hinihila-hila pa ang choker niya to show how skinny she is.
"Or di kaya itong scarf ko!" Daisy snorted with laughter.
"Tama na 'yan guys oh, pinapaiyak niyo naman siya. " Sara's tone was sarcastic and annoying.
She leaned closer to Jiro's petrified face, "Magsusumbong ka? Kay mommy mo? Kay Miss Suzi?" narinig ko pa rin ang boses niya kahit mahina.
Jiro quivers as he shakes his head.
"Aww. What a good piggy you are. " hinihimas-himas niya pa ang ulo ni Jiro na parang tuta.
Insaktong napatingin sakin si Ichiro, nakita niya kung gaano ka-talim ang titig ko sa kanila. Ningisihan lang ako ng mokong.
I don't think anyone would interrupt their fun, so I dared to do so. Lumapit ako sa kanila at hinila si Sara sa braso. Nagulat siya sa biglaan kong pagsulpot.
"Ganyan na ba talaga kayo ka-bored? Quit it. " mahina ang boses ko, sapat lang na marinig niya.
I heard her friends mumbling but couldn't figure out what they're saying as my attention draw only to Sara's surprised face.
"Omg, malakas na ang loob mo ah." She scoffs.
"Sara, turuan mo nga 'yan ng leksyon. 'Di pa ata sapat yung hiwa sa paa at tama ng bola eh. "
Mas tumalim ang tingin ng demonyita sakin. I wouldn't be scared if she doesn't have an entire crew to back her up. Alam kong na-bwesit siya sa ginawa ko. She won't let this slide.
"Ka anu-ano mo ba ang tabachoy na'to? Boyfriend mo?" ngisi niya sabay turo kay Jiro na mukhang natakot para sa buhay ko.
"Hala bagay kayo!" palakpak nina Daisy at Akira.
Kinuyom ko ang kamao.
"Sabagay, " She looked at me from head to toe. "Pareho naman kayong mga walang kwenta. I bet both of your mothers must've cried every night that she gave birth to such low-life kids. Imagine spending your entire fortune just for you to turned to be like this. How unfortunate."
I had to look away for a moment as they giggled at her statement. Nagpipigil ako ng galit ngunit 'di ko alam kung kaya ko pa bang pigilan ito.
"Hey! Anong ginagawa niyo kay Ren?"
Kei and Riko came out of nowhere, sprinting towards us with a worried expression. Akala ko magtatagal pa sila sa canteen.
"There goes this two. " Akira groaned, rolling her eyes at them.
"Are you guys picking on her?" Riko bravely confronts Sara, looking like a protective kid.
"Obvious naman diba, bulag ka ba?" the latter said sarcastically.
"'Yan lang ba talaga ang alam niyong gawin? Making fun of other students? Sara, college na tayo. Please grow up. " Kei stepped in. Based on the way they're talking to each other, mukhang matagal na silang magkakakilala.
"Pwede bang huwag kayo mangialam?!" Akira was about to lit up a fight but their leader stopped her.
"Calm down Akira, there's no need for that." She said calmly, crossing her arms. "Kei and Riko, you didn't tell me you made a friend! I'm disappointed you guys chose a loser though. Anyway, since I don't want to inflict a dispute amongst our dads, how about the two of you to sealed off your tiny whiny mouths? You don't want your fathers to lose a business partner, right?"
Nagkatinginan sina Kei at Riko, bahagyang nag da-dalawang isip.
"That's right. We've already talk about this. Nakalimutan niyo na ba? Mind your own fucking business, then I'll do mine as well. " The way she talks is like a poison wreaking havoc in your mind.
Natahimik sina Kei sa sinabi ng huli. Nag da-dalawang isip sa gagawin.
"And I am not one of your business, Sara, and neither is he. " nakapagsalita rin ako sa wakas. Mas lalo lang umarko ang kilay ng demonyita.
"Ang business na dapat mong pagtuonan ng pansin ay ang pag-aaral mo. You barely do a a single task and yet still complain about being tired of school. Mag focus ka kaya sa pag-aaral instead of mam-bully ng taong mahina upang mag-mukhang malakas at katakot-takot!" I blatantly yelled at her.
Ilang saglit pa, biglang sumirko ang paningin ko.
"How about that, huh? Does it taste good?"
Lumagapak ang palad ni Sara sa aking pisnge matapos akong sampalin. Kinaladkad nila ako sa rooftop at pinagpatuloy ang paghihirap sakin. Kei and Riko couldn't help me dahil inutusan sila ni Miss Suzi na linisin ang auditorium, alam kong pakana iyon ni Sara upang hindi sila makikialam sa gulo.
Tadyak doon, tadyak dito. Hindi ko mabilang kung ilang beses natamaan ang aking ulo.
May isa sa kanila na pinatid ang bukol ko sa noo. Sa hapdi ay nagtutubig ang mga mata ko.
"Sana nag suot ako ng heels ngayon. Sayang!"
"The last time you wore a school shoes with a heel, natapilok ka sa stage."
"Shut up Akira! You're not good at wearing it either."
"Hoy Ichiro, lakasan mo ang pagpatid mo! Bakla ka ba?!" nakita kong binatukan ni Kaito ang kaibigan niya.
Nainis naman ito. "'Pag nilakasan ko edi tsugi 'tong babaeng 'to!" bulyaw niya sa huli.
"Bakit ba palagi kayong nagbabangayan? Karindi sa tenga. " reklamo ni Akira.
While they're arguing, I took the time to inhale deeply. The fresh air fills up my lungs, my eyes could only look at the blinding sky above, and my body starts to sore from all the beat up. Para akong nakikipagsapalaran sa buhay.
"Is she still alive?" Daisy casually asked, like I am just a tiny insect they accidentally stomped on.
Darkness covered my vision as Sara stood by my side and looked over me, blocking the light from the sky.
"How come nakakapasok ka rito wearing that ugly rubber shoes? You're not following the school's dress code, province girl. Tsaka wala ka bang ibang sapatos? Ba't mukhang minana mo pa 'yan sa lola mo?"
"Oo nga noh? Ngayon ko lang din napansin."
"Province girl, your shoes looks like it's decaying."
"Nasuot na siguro 'yan ni Jose Rizal."
Naipikit ko nalang ang mga mata habang pinagtawanan nila ang luma kong sapatos. Maraming beses nang sinabi ni mama sakin na bibilhan niya ako ng bago ngunit tumatanggi ako dahil mas may importante pang mapaggagamitan ang pera niya. As long as it can still be worn, it's good.
"Hey Ichiro, bring her shoes to me." utos ni Sara na ikinagulat ko.
"N-no, not my s-shoes . . . " I could hardly speak as Ichiro gets closer to me.
Hinawakan ni Kaito ang magkabilang braso ko habang tinatanggal ni Ichiro ang aking sapatos. Panay ang pagwawala ko na parang kinakatay na baboy. No matter how hard I fought to get free, my efforts didn't budge the strength of Kaito's grip.
"Ang likot!" Tinampal ni Daisy ang paa ko nang matanggal ni Ichiro ang sapatos. Napangiwi ako dahil sa lahat-lahat, sa sugat ko pa tinampal.
Papatirin ko sana siya ngunit sapilitan akong pinatayo ni Kaito sa tulong ni Akira.
"What are you going to do with that trash?" tanong ni Ichiro kay Sara, referring to my shoes.
Alam kong may binabalak na naman siyang kademonyohan nang umangat ang gilid ng mapula niyang labi.
"Luhod!" Tinadyakan ni Daisy ang likod ng aking tuhod kaya napaluhod ako sa magaspang na semento.
Both Ichiro and Kaito are holding my arms. Hindi ko matukoy kung ano ang gagawin ni Sara sa sapatos ko.
My eyes widened in fear when she pulled out a lighter from her pocket. Shit, how and why does she carry a lighter? Is she gonna . . .
"I can't believe you're still wearing this shoes, province girl. Ask your mom to buy you a new one. Ahh, I get it. Ayaw ka niyang bilhan dahil pwede pa 'tong suotin noh? Hay, mga nanay talaga." umiling siya habang tumatawa, hawak-hawak ang sapatos ko at lighter sa kabila.
Malalim ang aking paghinga habang matalim siyang tinitignan. "Don't worry province girl, I'll do you a favor. This time, paniguradong mapipilitan siyang bilhan ka ng bago."
"What are you d-doing?! Sara!" napasigaw ako sa abot ng aking makakaya. Dahan-dahan niyang inilalapit ang lighter sa aking sapatos.
"S-sara huwag mong gawin 'to. Pakiusap, 'yan lang ang sapatos ko!"
Tila naputulan sila ng pandinig dahil kahit anong pakikiusap ko ay tumatagos lang sa tenga nila.
Wala akong magawa kundi pagmasdan na sinindahan ng apoy ang nag-iisa kong sapatos. Namamayani ang tawanan nilang lima na parang nanunuod lang ng pelikula. Samantala, piniga ng paulit-ulit ang puso ko sa nakikita. Hindi ko mapigilang mapaluha. I could barely afford to buy a food, sapatos na kaya?
Tinapon ni Sara ang nag-aapoy kong sapatos sa aking harapan. Pinikit ko na lamang ang aking mga mata. Ayaw ko itong makita. Mas lalo lang madudurog ang puso ko.
"I know you're tearing up from joy, province girl. You don't have to thank me, I only do what I have to do."
* * * * *
Gabi na nang pinakawalan ako ni Sara. Wala na nga akong sapatos, absent pa sa trabaho. Nagsinugaling pa ako kay sir Itsuki, hindi ako makakapasok sa trabaho dahil may emergency sa bahay. Buti nalang naiintindihan niya, but I felt bad for Aki dahil kinailangan pa niyang mag trabaho ng mag-isa kanina. Aki is my co-worker, she barely talks but she's not bad.
I'm walking on my way home in barefoot. The coldness of the pavement travel through my body. Paika-ika ang lakad ko na parang napilayan. Should I be thankful that they didn't break my arm?
May tindera pang nag tanong sakin kung na-pano ako, napagkamalan pa akong pulubi.
Gusto kong umiyak ngunit tila natuyo na ang mga mata ko. Nailabas ko na siguro lahat ng luha kanina kaya't wala na akong nararamdaman ngayon.
Pambihira, gusto ko lang naman makapag-aral.
Bakit hindi ako nauubusan ng problema? Lahat nalang ata ng kamalasan napunta sakin.
Back then, akala ko kaya kong ipagtanggol ang sarili 'pag may mag tangkang mambully sakin. Akala ko lang pala 'yun. Iba pa rin 'pag naranasan mo ito sa personal. When you want to stand up and fight back, but somehow you couldn't. The fear holding you back when you're being helplessly surrounded by them. Mayaman pa sila, sinong maniniwala sakin?
Would Miss Suzi believe me? So far sa lahat ng nakasalamuha kong teachers, she's the most decent one.
At ayaw ko rin madamay sina Kei at Riko sa sitwasyon ko. They're genuinely good people but I don't want to them get involved in this messy affairs, lalo na't magkakakilala pala ang mga magulang nila sa tatay ni Sara.
Buti nalang hindi ko nadatnan si Auntie Jo sa sala dahil paniguradong mag ta-tanong iyon.
But I saw Taki on the kitchen as I passed by, he was eating something. It was for a brief moment but he immediately darted his gaze on my feet. Bago pa siya makiusisa, mabilis akong umakyat sa hagdanan.
Nang makapasok sa kwarto, kaagad kong naalala ang lipstick.
Walang paligoy-ligoy at tinignan ko ito.
My heart was thumping hard as I pull the first drawer of my cabinet.
At tuluyan itong huminto sa pagtibok nang hindi ko na maaninag ang lipstick sa ibaba ng aking undergarments. Kinailangan ko pang hukayin ang kailalimang bahagi upang mahanap ko ito.
Out of all the things that happened to me today, this one disturbed me the most.
"I was right . . . I wasn't imagining it. " sapo ko ang noo at napasandal sa cabinet.
Hindi ako nagkamali ng inakala. I wasn't just being paranoid.
Someone was in my room, and it was Bundy.
* * * * *
- E N D O F C H A P T E R 7 -