Pov Esan
"And if it was another serial killer standing behind this door, are you sure that's a good idea?" she asked suspiciously.
I rolled my eyes, Samira stood slightly, hidden behind me, while I was about to knock on the door of a house.
We'd been walking for a long time in the forest, not really knowing where we were going. It was dark and fortunately we'd finally found this one house. I wasn't really feeling serene about this place, even less so with Samira by my side, because if something happened to me, I couldn't handle it, but Samira couldn't.
That's why even if there was a serial killer hiding behind this door, I had to knock, we couldn't spend the night out there even if I'm sure that the probability of there being one is as likely as the probability of Samira remembering the way back.
"Esan, don't do this ! "she whispers softly to me.
"Samira, you know what, if there really is a serial killer, I'll hold him off so that you can run away first. You'll come back for me if a lion hasn't eaten you alive," I said her ironically.
She glared at me, and I finally knocked on the door, and just as I saw it open, I passed a protective arm in front of Samira.
An elderly couple were standing in front of us, "Good serial killers change their appearance " my mind laughed.
I laughed inwardly as I gave Samira a long look. "Assalam Alaikkum, what can I do for you at this time of night?" asked the lost old man.
I thought for a moment whether I should tell him the truth, and whether he would get scared and refuse to let us stay the night.
"Walaikum Assalam, my wife and I came here on business but we've lost our guide, and we don't know the way back to the village, would you mind letting us spend the night here, and we'll leave in the morning without bothering you? "I ask them, lying.
The old man, who was very friendly, replied that he didn't have any problems and that it often happened that he put people up, as his house was the only one close to the forest, and he even offered to accompany us tomorrow on the way back.
"Come in and warm up", his wife kindly invites us.
Samira and I gave him a warm smile, and went inside, the house was small, but it offered us shelter, not forgetting that we were in a very rural area and that it was quite difficult to get supplies.
The old woman pointed to a tiny room where Samira and I could sleep for the night, and went off to get some blankets.
"I'm sorry, but I've only got one chapati to offer you this evening," she said, returning with some blankets and a small plate in her hands.
"It's not necessary, it's already a lot to take us in and we've also eaten a lot before" Samira assured us gently, taking only the blankets.
The old woman refused to let us go to sleep without giving us any food but Samira finally convinced her that everything was fine, I smiled as I watched how sweet she was trying to convince her to keep the food for her and her husband.
"Can I at least offer you some water? "asked the old woman.
"It would be a pleasure" replied Samira, smiling.
She drank her glass of water while I shook my head in the negative, I wasn't thirsty but that was without taking into account my wife's tenacity,
She took the other glass of water and forced it down my throat, frowning. I frowned back at her to show my displeasure.
"Admit it, you actually enjoyed seeing Samira's fierce side," my inner voice said sarcastically.
The old woman left, leaving us all with a small jar of water for the night, we were alone, "Don't move !" she ordered me firmly.
Sulking, I moved to a corner of the room and saw her unfold one of the blankets and carefully spread it out on the floor.
I smiled, I'd missed her so much in her 2 months, when I saw her faint that night, my heart missed a beat, it only got back into a proper rhythm once I'd briefly seen her wake up in hospital, I couldn't leave her alone but I had to because of that bloody business trip, before ending up kidnapped by those bastards.
I often dreamt of her asking me if she was all right, which is why when I saw her today after so long, I wondered for a long time if I was hallucinating until I felt her delicate hands feeding me.
At first I was so happy, but reality soon caught up with me, Samira was in a dangerous place, surrounded by killers and murderers, and I was her only protection, and I was in no way in a position to protect her at the moment, which is why I was angry, how she could have put herself in danger without thinking about the worry she was going to cause me. However, the moment I heard her hurt, angry words, and above all her tears, I realised that I'd fucked up again, that just like me, she couldn't stand knowing that I was in danger.
"I HATE YOU, ESAN"
I closed my eyes as I recalled her words, my heart burning inside but I deserved them, after everything I'd done to her, the pain she'd inflicted on me was almost nothing.
At the very moment she asked to speak the truth from my own mouth, I wanted to find all the proof in the world to tell myself that I hadn't been like that but it was true, I was the person she had loved the most, and I was the same person who had hated her so much before. I can't do anything but show her that I'm really sorry, but it was going to be hard, her trust in me had been hurt, but if she's here for me today, it means it's not all over.
"Esan..." I softly heard her voice calling my name.
I opened my eyes, realising that I'd lost myself in my thoughts, her worried gaze fixed on me, "Are you all right, do you feel sick ? "she asked me worriedly
I took her hand gently in mine, afraid she'd reject me, but fortunately she didn't, so I brought it to my lips and placed a kiss on it. "Everything's fine, stop looking at me like that, I'm not going to faint in a moment, I'm a big guy," I assured her gently.
I felt a twinge of pain as I felt her hand loosen from mine, thinking she was forbidding me to touch her, but she grabbed my arm and I looked at her surprised.
"Come," she said convincingly.
I let her, and she made me sit down on the blanket she'd spread out on the floor, and that's when I noticed that even the fire she'd lit had a few twigs in it.
I was so lost in thought that I hadn't even noticed? And what's more, I didn't even help her, what an unworthy husband I am.
"Anyway, she'd forbidden you to move, mate," my conscience gently reminded me for the first time.
"Esan, take off your shirt," Samira says abruptly.
Stunned, I look at her, she's not supposed to be angry with me and she wants me to take my shirt off now, why do what?
"Hurry up", she said impatiently, seeing that I wasn't doing anything.
Annoyed, she approaches me, undoes the buttons on my shirt quickly and when she's about to remove my shirts entirely from my shoulders, I hold back her arms.
"Er... Samira.., I understand that perhaps you've suffered because of my absence, that now you want to mark your territory but... But I... You're still angry with me, and I need you to forgive me before we do anything as husband and wife," I tell her, a little embarrassed.
She dryly deflects her arms from my hold," Samira I know you're angry but... "
" CHUP ! (shush)" she shouts loudly
I looked at her, shutting my mouth, well she can be intimidating, it's the first time I've seen this side of her.
"Stop thinking too much Esan, if I asked you to take off your shirt, it's to clean your wounds with water" she says, slightly angry.
It's at this point that I look at the jar of water beside her, feeling very silly at the moment. "And then... Nothing's going to happen between you and me.... Not until we've solved our problem..." she says, embarrassed
I let out a laugh as I saw her cheeks turn red, probably thinking about our future night together, but I calmed down when her furious gaze landed on me.
"She was cute when she was angry, her little bunny cheeks were even more puffy" I thought
"Don't talk and let me do my job" she said, still with authority, and I nodded silently.
She tore off a piece of her dupatta, and ran it over the water before cleaning my wounds, I held back a grimace, the water was slightly cold, and in contact with my wounds, it tingled slightly, I smiled as I watched Samira blow on each of my wounds, although there was no physical impact from her agreement, psychologically, it helped me, I would surely have run my hand over her head if she wasn't angry with me.
"When we were told as children that we were destined to marry, I didn't really take it seriously, even though we'd been engaged since we were nine, I didn't hate you at the time, but I didn't really love you either," I confessed to her.
She didn't answer, but I could feel her flinch. "I was influenced by society, and by myself, I told myself that the beauty of a girl lay in her appearance, she had to be of average height, with long hair and above all thin, I found that in Nila not in you, That's why I started to dislike you, not as a person but for your looks, I couldn't spend my daughter with a girl who was curvy, I thought it was a disgrace, I wanted to marry Nila, and then tell you so as to cancel our alliance but unfortunately, Nila thought I was playing her when she found out I was already engaged to you, so she broke up with me", I continued.
This time she had stopped completely in her tracks and was looking straight at me, her eyes slightly moistened.
I still remembered Nila's slap when she broken up with me, and wondered what Samira was waiting for to slap me, I'd done so much worse to her.
"When she broke up with me, I was in a panic, how was I going to cancel our alliance if I didn't have anyone to introduce, I thought about it for a long time, and the idea of lying to you came to my mind, I came to your place that night, and I saw you cooking, I was stunned for a moment, you were cooking happily, and I really wondered if it was you, and yes, it was you, a long way from the 15-year-old girl I'd seen last time, you'd become a woman, a very pretty woman, I got lost in your contemplation, imagining myself with you one morning, but when I heard your voice, I came back to reality, no. I couldn't find you beautiful, you were Samira, the fat one,it was out of the question, so I married your sister but very quickly, I realised that there was nothing human about her, she was selfish, focused only on herself, I had no right to anything, every single thing that got on her nerves was my fault, I'd ruined her life by marrying her as she'd said, but once, it went too far, Rizwan at birth, cried a lot, he needed his mother but she didn't care, one day in front of my eyes, she slapped him, she couldn't bear to hear him cry when she'd just come home drunk at 2am. I was so black with anger that I told her to piss off and that I'd give her a divorce, her ego took a hit, and she left the next day in her car, then on the same journey, she found the death" I told her nonchalantly
She was crying, and it hurt to see her like that because of me, but I still had to go on. I controlled my urge to take her in my arms and carry on.
"Her last words to me were "If you want to be a good wife and a good mother to your son, all you had to do was marry Samira, I'm not manipulable like her", I didn't understand at the time, but after your return, I understood the meaning of each of her last words, your love for Rizwan, your presence by my side which made me happy, soothed me, I rediscovered my life, I had fallen in love with you Samira, I liked your greedy side, I loved your serious side when you were working on one of your files, I loved your attentive side, especially when you never stopped thanking everyone for everything, I also loved your complicity with my son, even if I was jealous sometimes that he got so much attention from you, our creator had decreed us to be one for the other even before we were created, and by my judgement, I ruined our respective lives, I'm the only one at fault "I say seriously
I gently took her face between my two hands, and brought her closer to me, cleaning away her tears. "Esan, why are you telling me all this ?" she asks me in a broken voice
I smile slightly, "Because, Samira, you've opened my eyes, beauty isn't just about looks, it's also about character, the way you are, looks will undoubtedly rot with time or can even be changed, hidden, but... the inside never does, it stays with you forever, and you're the most beautiful woman, inside and out, even if I didn't realise it until it was too late, I can't see myself spending my life away from you, you can make me smile just by hearing your voice, whether it's soft or grumpy" I said, smiling and wiping away her tears once more.
"Esan... why... Are you really telling me all this? "She repeats, sniffling and hitting my chest.
"I want you to understand that you are my destiny Samira, and I can't separate myself from you, just like you can't, I'm really sorry for what I've done to you, in each of my prayers, I never stop asking Allah for forgiveness, for hurting you so much, for judging you so much, please forgive me, forgive me, I'll make sure every day that I prove to you that I deserve this second chance" I implore her with sincerity.
"Ya Rabb, only you know how much I love this woman"
"Esan... You're getting on my nerves... I really didn't want to forgive you... But you know... Also... How much I... love you...I also really want to hate you and... punch you stupid handsome face.. You are a stupid boy with cute dimples, IDIOTTTT ! "she cries in frustration
I smiled at her complaining innocence, grabbed her face more firmly, we pressed forehead to forehead, our noses almost touching, "I love you Samira, you make my heart beat like crazy," I whispered to her.
She looked at me sulkily as a slight smile played its way across the corner of her lips, our eyes locked together, separated only by the blink of our eyes.
"You idiot, all this time to finally tell me, couldn't you have come to a conclusion instead of making me cry? As soon as we get home, you'll have to peel onions day and night to make it up to me," she says in a voice that's even more frustrated and half-amused.
I smile as I realise that she may have forgiven me, "Do you forgive me?" I ask her hopefully.
Suddenly, she links our lips in a fiery kiss, and I savour the sensation that I've missed, her lips have a unique taste, so addictive once you've tasted them. My hands moved to the back of her head, resting on her hair to deepen our kiss even more.
Before we broke apart, breathless, she looked up at me, trying to get her breathing back to normal, but with her head all red and her eyes downcast, I wasn't satisfied, not entirely.
I went for her neck, her nape, her collarbone, "Esan... you said nothing would happen between us until we'd solved our problem... "she said in a hoarse voice.
"Damn it, her hoarse voice carried by desire was another form of symphony for my ears" I thought loudly.
"And we've just solved our problem, haven't we? I thought I was holding back, Samira, but you made me lose my self-control in an instant with a simple kiss" I told her truthfully.
She blushed even more, hiding against my bare chest. "If you're not ready, I'll wait until you're comfortable with me," I said, slowly stroking her head.
I started to back away to try and calm down, but to my great astonishment, Samira made us tip over onto the blanket" I never said I didn't want to, Esan" she said mischievously
I raised my eyebrows in amusement, "Samira, you're really becoming ........" I was about to continue my sentence when her lips once again caught me in a trap.
She really was driving me crazy," She was mine, Samira was mine for good tonight and forever".
At this thought, I promised myself to give her the sweetest, most cherishing night of her life. I loved her, and I was going to show her just how attracted I was to her, crazy about her body, soul, about her beauty with all her curves.