i think i'll miss you forever
like the stars miss the sun
in the morning sky
lana del rey
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MINNIE WASN'T A GOOD decorator Astrid had pointed out more than once. Holiday break was hours from beginning and the most festive thing in Minnie's office was two feathers colored green and red that were so conveniently placed beside each other. It was their last meeting before break, and honestly Astrid really liked these meetings. She would sometimes flunk out on assignments purposely just to stay in the circular office every saturday. Though, she was beginning to think Minnie was onto her antics, so she changed up her strategy every now and then. She had long come to terms with the fact that top of her class was impossible this year after missing nearly a month of defense. But nonetheless, stayed on top of all her work.
The Professor was excellent at giving advice and Astrid came to value her word more than anyones. McGonagall was wise, educated, talented; Astrid admired her. Though, she definitely could use some help decorating.
"Minnie do you celebrate?"
The professor looked up from reviewing her essays, Astrid noticed almost all pages had notes and corrections. This was another strategy. "Yes, Christmas."
Astrid hummed, "What about Valentines?"
"That isn't a holiday."
"Then what about the Bank Holiday."
"That is a muggle holiday. Learning much from muggle studies." Minnie corrected. She put her quill down eyeing Astrid carefully. "Is there a reason to this sudden holiday interest?"
Astrid played with her curls, "Christmas is a week away and... Well, you haven't decorated at all."
Minnie went back to reviewing her essays, "You've mentioned that quite a few times Astrid."
"Y'know at my house my Aunt used to- well we have a big tree," Astrid began recalling her childhood christmas, a smile on her face. "Obviously real, my Aunt was- Sorry, is, particular about interior decorating. I personally hate her style but to each their own right? Well anyways, my house is very dark and bland but the tree gave it life every year. I loved it. Maybe it'll help here too."
"Is my office dark and bland as well Astrid?"
Astrid bit her bottom lip, her cheeks reddening under the embarrassment. "Of course not, I just meant that- Well- Oh you know," she replied desperately.
Minnie hid her smile, "If it makes you happy Astrid, you are more than welcome." She mentioned at the room with a small wave of her hand. Astrid found this invitation beyond exciting. She began looking around, her mind filled with new ideas. It started small, garland around the tall windows, little fairy lights adorned on the grand wooden desk. Then she began to think bigger, with a flick of her wand she transfigured the large narrow plant, dracaena compacta. There was now a full pine tree in the corner of McGonagalls office, filled with red and green ornaments, all of which she mindfully picked out in the seconds it took her to transfigure the plant.
McGonagall looked up, her eyebrows raised in surprise. She knew Astrid was talented, but this was almost impossible for a girl her age. "You would make a great career in Transfigurations," she said, her eyes looking around the room.
Astrid shrugged, "Maybe." She continued on, happily looking around, charming, conjuring, and transforming the entire office into a christmas wonderland. Red and green colored the office at every corner, the smell of pine and peppermint filling the air.
"Don't even think about it," Minnie warned, her eyes never leaving the essays. Astrid lowered her wand, as she shyly looked away. She was about to transfigure the stack of class papers as anything but. She had actually not-so-intentionally flunked out of the last assignment. The full blame is to be put solely on Dean and Seamus!
Astrid finished adding the last touches, slumping back into the wooden chair once she was done. Minnie glanced up, looking around the room, a small smile on her face as she noticed the intricate details that only Astrid would've thought to add. Truthfully, McGonagall loved Christmas but was always much too busy with decorating the castle and setting everything in order before break to worry about decorating her office. She thanked Astrid, who wore a big child-like grin on her face, her love for Christmas stemming from her many Christmas' with her family. Back when everything was normal in their world.
"I'll decorate every single holiday," Astrid proclaimed, her face still observing her art.
Minnie pursed her lips, her eyes betrayed her stern look. "I never agreed to that, Astrid. This was a one time thing."
Astrid shook her head, her smile still very much present. "We'll see about that." Laughing at the undignified look McGonagall had given her.
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CHRISTMAS BREAK HAD BEEN insanely fun. To keep her Aunt at bay, she wrote that she would be staying at Hogwarts for the two weeks. It's not like she could walk up and check anyways.
Seamus visited almost everyday and Astrid wondered if he did this every single break they had. She also wondered how Mr. and Mrs. Thomas had put up with them so long, and now with Astrid included she was sure they're daily hour long walks were an excuse to get out of the house filled with chaos created by the three. Dean had sent a letter to his parents weeks before, an attempt to prepare them for Astrid's stay. Sure, he acted like it at times, but he wasn't daft, anyone in the wizarding world would have a heart attack if their children brought home a Lestrange, and invited them to come stay. So he advised them prior and assured that Astrid wouldn't hurt a fly. Astrid could see the forced smile on Mr. Thomas, a wizard, but nonetheless, she was able to loosen his fear just hours into their dinner.
Dean's sister, Emilia, also knew Astrid. Completely unbeknownst to her though. She studied Astrid carefully with her best-friend, Dora, all of her seventh year that by October of that year she could retrace her entire route from first to last class. Not in a stalkerish way of course! And she heard the adventure stories Dean would keep secret from their parents, which all included a certain Lestrange. She felt weird knowing so much about her without Astrid even knowing what she looked like. But, Astrid didn't know about her and Dora's stalking, so she thought best to act as if Astrid was someone she had just met. After all this was their first time meeting.
Emilia was someone Astrid found easy to grow comfortable with. To her surprise, Emilia was identical to Dora, minus the little annoying things that drove her mad. She was a cheerful person, and beyond kind. She had a secret tattoo- which Astrid found out she did in a dingy muggle shop downtown. Her hair was colored a dark red, and her ears were filled with silver jewelry. She had dark eyebrows and much like Dean, she also inherited the tall gene, as she was almost a head taller than Astrid. Emilia had a knack for collecting random stuff, once in her room you would see a stack of vinyls in one corner, a bookshelf filled with comic books on the other, and a trunk overflowing with various sets of costumes in another corner.
Christmas was tomorrow, and Astrid had glad fully finished all her shopping much before Christmas eve, unlike Mr. and Mrs. Thomas who had been out all day, finding it hard to believe that it was already the twenty-fourth. Soft snow was falling outside the yellow home, she would reach out occasionally, letting the snowflakes fall into her hand as she sat tensely on the porch steps, a midnight-blue haired cousin by her side.
Dora perched her head on-top her knees. Her arms close to her. "Why didn't you just tell me?" she asked, looking out into the snowy sky.
Astrid had no clue that Emilia and Dora were best friends so it was a grand surprise when Dora followed Emilia into the living room, hand in hand, just moments earlier. Dora's hair flickered with different colors, none of which were happy colors, much to Astrid's dismay. She hadn't written back since Astrid's first letter, and Astrid figured she was busy, not sad. "I didn't know what to say."
Dora laughed bitterly, the smoke washing into the air. "I dunno, maybe you could've started with, Sorry, rather spend Christmas with anyone but family."
It was Astrid's turn to laugh bitterly now, her eyebrows where drawn together and her rosy lips turned downwards. "Family? Dora I just met you not even six months ago."
Astrid immediately regretted her words, seeing Dora drop her head in her hands, hidden away from Astrid's eyes. "Wait no, I- I didn't mean it."
Dora sniffled, "Yeah, you did. Look Astrid, why didn't you just tell me?." she asked once again.
"Dean asked me in October, well, technically the early hours of November. And, you never responded to my letter and I wasn't going to write twice."
Dore shook her head, her clipped up hair resting over her side. "You said you're Aunt wouldn't let you come. You shouldn't of lied." There was a beat of silence, only their breathing could be heard against the cold air. Truly, Astrid was freezing, she only wore a green jumper Meda had given her for mexican independence day, a day Astrid didn't even know existed. She wrapped her arms around her torso, though warmth just wouldn't come. "You might not, but I consider you family. Closer than that- if thats possible... You could've- you should've just told me." Dora shook her head again, her voice hushed.
Astrid glanced at her cousin, biting her bottom lip. Dora's hair was still midnight blue and she clung onto the denim jacket with black-and-white patches ironed on. With dulled eyes, she stared at her cousin, unable to find the right words to make her feel better.
"You look like rudolph," Dora muttered, peaking her head to the side, where Astrid sat, her nose cherry red.
"Dora," Astrid said sternly, pursing her lips. She wanted to make this right, but she doubted she could. "I didn't mean what I said. And, theres really no excuse I just- I dunno it felt weird. We're family and you barely know me. And I know thats not your fault or Andromeda's, really it's mine. I got all your mum's letters and all her gifts- Everything I wear is basically from her. I just, I didn't want intrude, and you don't know, but my family hasn't been the nicest to Meda. And they definitely haven't said the nicest things either. And I believed them for a while.
"I didn't want to disappoint them at the time. But now I don't want to disappoint you. Or her or Ted."
Dora looked at Astrid attentively throughout her ramble. She only spoke up once sure Astrid was done. "So you didn't come because of your family?"
"No," Astrid shook her head. Her jumble of thoughts becoming hard to put together. "It's hard to explain. I really didn't mean to hurt you."
Dora hummed in response, she felt betrayed. Had her family not been enough for Astrid? She knew their London home was probably nothing compared to whatever Lestrange Manor Astrid lived in, but she knew they had a good time. Enough to at least have the decency of honesty. She felt tired, sad, let down, angry, she had put Astrid on a pedestal, one far too high.
What a grave mistake.
"It's fine," muttered Dora, her hair changing to a dim brown. This color wasn't on the color chart Astrid had been given. She stood up, dusting the snowflakes off her clothes and reached out her hand in order for Astrid to take it. Astrid took it tentatively, still unsure of how in the world anything was fine.
Christmas day rolled around, festivities in full order. Dean, Emilia, Dora, and Astrid ( Seamus had left to see his family ) all sat around the living room, piles of gifts surrounding them. Deans family had decorated gold and red this year, a more modern look that contradicted their colorful furniture. Still, the house looked beautiful, the lace curtains were drawn, the white sky brightening the inside. There was green garland everywhere, all wrapped in red berries and twinkle lights. Astrid loved Christmas.
Ruined wrapping paper was piled into the center of the room, as everyone viewed their gifts, smiles and laughs shared in the circle. Dean was showcasing his new Super Nintendo, a gift from his parents. Emilia rolled her eyes when he waved the console in front of her face, holding her own identical one into the air. Astrid had gifted both of them a game, as she found out through a newspaper cutout what their parents were planning on gifting them. It was definitely an emotional roller coaster going out into London alone, actually it was terrifying. But no one payed a singular glance towards Astrid, something she had never experienced before, and she realized no one knew who she was in this 'world.' After that day, she went out into downtown constantly, her silver converse tapping against the concrete sidewalks as she explored for hours.
Astrid had bought Dora a scrapbook, she had a polaroid camera back home and Astrid had seen her bedside table filled with polaroids. When she saw the bubblegum pink book sitting perfectly on-top a shelf in the library a few blocks away from Dean's house, she found it to be the perfect gift. She even started the scrapbook herself with a few polaroids she had kept from the summer. With colorful banners and stickers, Dora had a large grin reading the little comments Astrid included. Astrid knew she definitely wasn't fine, you could clearly see it in her eyes. But she definitely had no plans to bring up their fight any time soon.
Astrid received many gifts, and she was sure there were much more awaiting her at home. Cedric had given her a ticket to the Quidditch world cup for the summer, and surprisingly, Astrid loved the gift. Atlas gifted her a green jersey, no doubt he was also given a ticket from Ced, along with a crystal ball charm to add onto the bracelet he had been filling up since first year. From Meda and Ted she got a dainty gold necklace, carved onto the star charm were a small cluster of stars from the night she was born. Dora had given her another- also probably illegal- book, this one filled with ancient runes and protection spells, much less fun than the other, but Astrid was thankful nonetheless. She had studied the book all morning, memorizing most parts, incase she might need them for any reason.
"It's like you want me to be a criminal," Astrid tutted as she pried open the locked book after unwrapping it. Dora grinned widely, her
mischievous ways rivaling that of the Weasley twins.
And from Dean and his parents she got a pack of colorful bows to pin back her curly hair, and Emilia had gifted her a LEGO figurines set. A pair of green socks with smiling leprechauns from Seamus, and most surprisingly, hidden deep under the red and gold tree there was a present just for her, from Hermione.
It was square shaped, wrapped neatly in a traditional red plaid paper. Astrid opened it curiously, she had never once gotten a gift from Hermione, and she definitely hadn't ever given her one either. Inside the cardboard box was a faux crystal ball, the blue stand showcasing the Cygnus constellation, like the one she had seen in divinations. And inside the crystal ball ( which definitely wasn't real crystal ) were heart shaped tan cookies, all wrapped in a clear plastic, the words FORTUNE COOKIES written on them in dark red. Astrid smiled to herself, picking up the note that Hermione had left.
"Definitely more reliable than Trelawney... Merry Christmas, Astrid :)
PS: I had a little help from santa's elves."
She felt her cheeks redden reading the note, making a mental reminder to buy her a gift during her daily downtown adventures. She dug into the crystal ball, taking out one of the plastic wrapped- cookies. Astrid broke it in half, still confused on what exactly these cookies were. Inside, she took out the small white piece of paper, the handwriting neat and written in rainbow ink. She realized Hermione must've handwritten all the fortunes herself.
Under the moonlit sky, you shine the brightest. Divinely beautiful, even the Gods envy you.
Not so much a fortune, but still, Astrid was happier than ever. Of course, Hermione would figure out the meaning of her name.
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astrid has a little crush huh
and spoiler it definitely wasn't hermione ;)