*Outfit reference ⬆︎*
Liu Yuxin's POV:
I don't know what was going through my mom's mind at that moment, but she looked devastated for some reason. She looked like I had let her down.
Was she upset that I was dating a girl? I thought she knew. Fear washed over me so I held on tightly to Y/N's hand.
"I can't believe you two did this to me." She stood up from her chair and took a step forward. She grabbed Y/N's face.
"Why didn't you tell me sooner!? I knew you two had a connection since the moment I met you." She engulfed Y/N in a hug.
I smiled but grew confused at the situation. I guess she still has the actress spirit in her because she made me believe she was disappointed in me.
"Mom, you're suffocating her," I said and she let go of Y/N.
"We didn't tell you because we didn't know anything, Mom. We were just friends but we found our true feelings after spending so much time together and going through hardships as well."
My mom leaned on the chair once more. "I'm truly so happy my Xin bug found someone like you, Y/N. I know your heart. Now, you two go enjoy your day. I want you to enjoy the whole week because I know how gaining it will be when you make it to the finals."
She has so much faith in us. We tried to tell her that we wanted to spend some time with her but she had to go to work. She is a teacher at an elementary school right now so she left before we could get ready.
"I'm ready. Let's go." I said as I finish putting on my shoes. "So am I, but I don't know which shoes I should put on. Where are we going?" I look at her and she is wearing black ripped jeans, a red shirt, and a black hood.
"What about those red Converse? Here, I'll put them on you." I grabbed the shoes and helped her put them on. As I was tying her shoes, she began to play with my hair. I small smile appeared on my lips.
"There. Let's go. We are going to watch a movie and I'll take you to some of my favorite places." I put on a bucket hat and we headed out of the door.
-
"...and then, I got lost over there and mom says I cried for like thirty minutes till she came back. Every time I could come back here I would laugh. Until I left home. Then, every time I saw a small ice cream shop like this, I would cry because I missed her so much."
We had spent all day going to different places. It was getting dark and we were now in a small neighborhood's ice cream shop. This is where we used to live when I was a little girl.
"This seems like a very calm place to live. Why did you guys move?" Y/N asked.
"Dad couldn't stand his sister's death. This is where they both grew up as well and in order for him to not think about her, we had to move to the loud city. I miss it here sometimes." I took a lick of my ice cream.
Y/N hummed and she was just looking around eating her ice cream. I noticed she had some ice cream on the corner of her lips. I cleaned it with my thumb and she seemed startled.
"What? Did I scare you? You had a bit of ice cream." I asked as I continued eating.
When I turned to her she was already close to me. She leaned in and I closed my eyes. I felt my stomach flip. I felt her finger caress my lips and I open my eyes.
"You had some ice cream on your lips as well." She said and pulled away from my face and finished her ice cream.
"Y/N, that isn't fair," I said as I threw my head back in frustration.
"What do you mean? You helped me and I helped you. We are even." She got up and started to walk backward.
She had a sly smile on their lips and I knew she was messing with me. I got up and walked to her but she began walking faster.
I kept running after her and she laughed. That was until she stopped at the bus stop when I caught up to her.
"Gotcha!" I said as I placed my arms around her waist from behind her figure.
"Oh, look the bus is coming." She escaped my grip and got on the bus.
The ride was silent, It was getting late and the only people on the bus were those tired from a long day at work.
I looked at my phone and kept scrolling when I felt her head fall against my shoulder. I smiled and looked at her.
She wasn't sleeping but I guess she was tired from all that running we did.
"It's beautiful here," she said.
Her head suddenly shot up and she frowned. She narrowed her eyes.
"Don't look up." She said and I tried to lift my head to see what she was looking at. She pushed my head down.
"No! Don't! Keep your head down." She got up from her seat and walked down to the front.
The bus came to a stop. I lifted my head and spotted a figure running off the bus. Could it be? Or maybe my eyes were deceiving me, but that looked like Lee Nabi.
Wasn't she supposed to be back in Korea? What on earth is going on?
Y/N came back and sat down. "What happened?" I asked immediately.
"That person was taking photos of us. I don't know if videos too but they were most likely snapping pictures of us."
"You didn't see their face right?" I asked
"Yeah, I did. It looked like someone I know but I'm not sure who." Remained silent for a moment.
Maybe we overreacted a bit but Y/N still looked worried.
"Hey, don't think about it too much, okay? They really can't do anything without those pictures. It's not like we were kissing." I nudged her shoulder.
She shook her head. "You're right. We shouldn't worry. What should we cook for dinner? I'm sure your mom will be too tired."
-
"Hey, mom! We cooked you some lasagna come sit." I took my mom to the kitchen where everything was plated and Y/N washed the dishes she had used.
"Oh, girls! You two are truly amazing. Han Y/N put that down. Let's eat."
The rest of the night was perfect. My mom and I bonded as well as Y/N and her.
We talked and laughed and Mom even gave us life advice which almost made us cry. Then she sent us off to bed.
"Good night girls! Sleep tight!"
She went into her room and Y/N and I went to my room. We were both drained from the long day of walking but I had so much fun with her.
"I'll head to the shower out here. You shower in your bathroom," she said and walked out of the room.
I washed up and went straight to bed. As I waited, I started reading the book Y/N let me borrow. She really carries her books everywhere. Maybe I'll take her to a bookshop tomorrow.
"It's too cold, move over," she demanded as she shivered. I lifted the covers and moved to the side and she immediately got under the covers.
"Why do you shower in cold water during the winter anyways?" I ask as I move closer to her to warm her up.
"Is good for the muscles and blood circulation," she says as she moves closer to me as well.
"I feel good here. You're comfy. Oh, why can't we stay like this forever?" she exclaims in a low tone and I put the book down.
"You know what that means, right?" She looked up at me and replies with a what.
"That means that you are starting to fall in love with me." I smile and steal a kiss from her. She stays speechless for a few seconds.
"I guess I am," she replied and cuddled closer to me.
-
"This is such a huge store! they have books from all over the world." She walked around amazed at all the books to choose from.
"Take all the time you want. There are several food places on that side so we don't have to go anywhere." She smiled at me and dragged me with her everywhere.
I really lost track of time with how many books we went through. We ate in there and by the time she was ready to go, she had three books in hand.
"I'll buy these books, I love them. This one is about a group of students who killed a teacher, this one is like a prequel to The hunger games, and this one is just a funny book to read." We checked out and headed back home.
my mom was already asleep and so we washed up and headed to bed.
-
Things were the same for the next two days. We would go somewhere where I'd think Y/N would love to be and we would have a great time there.
It was Friday and I was thinking we could go to a music shop and just listen to everything they had to discover new artists and show Y/N all of my favorite songs. We got ready and headed off to take a bus.
"Yuxin, why haven't we done any of your favorite activities?" Y/N asked and I looked at her.
"Being with you is my favorite activity," I replied and smiled.
"No silly. I mean like we always do things I like. The movies, bookstore, baking, and the museum. Those are things I told you I like to do the most but what about you? I want to do something you like to do as well."
I looked around the bus trying to figure out what we could do. I have many hobbies so I decided to take her to a few spots.
-
"Are you having fun?" Y/N asked and I turned to her. She was looking at me with her head resting on her hand.
"Yeah, why?" I asked "Because you look so focused on that piece of paper. I don't know if you're enjoying this or not." She chuckled.
"I'm actually having a lot of fun. I feel relaxed. Painting helps me focus and clear my mind. Thank you for suggesting this, I really needed it." I smiled at her
"No worries, take your time." She replied going back to her paper.
I found painting classes and we have been here for a few hours. It helped me take my mom off what has been going on.
I have had my manager call me several times to tell me I had several photoshoots and projects to be done and I have been ditching all of them to spend more time with Y/N.
I really shouldn't and I know I will be in big trouble when I got back to the show where I won't be able to hide from him anymore but it will be worth it. As long as I get to be with her, nothing else matters.
-
"I was not expecting to work out today but that was fun!" Y/N said as she took off her skates.
"I'm glad you enjoyed it. Now I have to check your leg to make sure it isn't bruised. Come here." She sat down on the bench and lifted her leg.
I check and there was a bruise on her leg. She had fallen and hit her shin on my skates.
"Who would've known you were so goon ice skating, Xin? How are you so good?" She got up from the chair and patted my back.
"I was in figure skating since I was six. When I turned twelve I quit and then at thirteen I left home to chase my dreams." I said as I got up.
"Well, I'm glad you find joy in this, where else are we going? It's getting kinda late." She asks.
"We should probably go eat something," I suggest and she agrees.
We exit the place and I can feel my phone in my pocket ringing and buzzing. I start to grow a bit worried.
When we get to the restaurant, we sit at a table and I excuse myself to answer the phone.
"Hello?" I pick up the phone and I prepare myself for what my manager had to say.
"What... we-... are why ar-..." I couldn't hear very well so I put the phone on speaker.
"What were you thinking? Why did you suddenly disappear on me, huh? Do you know how big this deal was going to be for you?" He sighed and asked for an explanation.
"I don't have an explanation. I just wanted to spend some time alone and rest. Is that so bad?" I respond back.
"If this has anything to do with Han Y/N, Liu Yuxin, I swear. You can't risk your career over a stupid love that you don't even know if it will last. This deal was going to be huge and it would've made you rise to fame."
I grew angry at his words. Who was he to tell me how to love?
"Listen, the record label is really upset at me right now so I'm going to give you a second chance. Be here Sunday at 7 pm. We will talk with them and work things out before you go back to the dorms."
"Listen Wang Xijun, I really appreciate you wanting for me to do better but I don't want to go. I want to spend time with my mother as well. I don't think JYP is the company for me."
"Liu Yuxin! please leave the past behind, Triple S might give you security and stability but not fame. Just get over Oh Sooah now."
I didn't know why he was suddenly bringing up Sooah but that made me even more upset.
"This has nothing to do with Sooah. I will gain fame on my own merits. I don't need you to invest in a company that only seeks gold. Now leave me be and I'll see you on Monday morning for the remainder of the photoshoots and planned schedule."
I hung up the phone and headed back to the table. As I walked back, I noticed Y/N was looking down and messing with her necklace.
"Hey, What's wrong?" I ask and she looked up startled.
"Nothing. Why do you ask?" She replied as she forced a smile on her lips.
"Because, when you're nervous or worried, you start to fiddle around with that necklace. I can also tell when you force a smile on your face." I reply as I grab her hand.
"I just... I'm nervous about going back on the show. What if I get eliminated? Then I'll have to leave everyone I love behind. It's nerve-wracking."
"Y/N, you'll be okay. The Youth producers care about you so much that they almost started a riot when you got sick. You won't be eliminated." I reassured her and we ordered our food.
I couldn't help but feel how uneasy Y/N was and when I would ask her if she was okay she would immediately switch up and act cheery.
"Oh! The bus is here. Let's go." She grabbed my hand and dragged me to the bus. We took our seats and she leaned her hand on my shoulder.
The bus ride was quiet and I felt sleepy. I realized that she was asleep so I brushed off the drowsiness.
We soon reached our stop and got off the bus. She was clinging to my arm as we walked.
"Yuxin, why do you like me?" she asked suddenly.
"Well, I love you because you are wonderful. Not only are you a kind person, but you are also loving and passionate, and you aren't afraid to speak your mind. You're also very pretty and talented."
She stayed silent for a while. "Why do you ask?" I break the silence.
"I was just wondering. I..." She stops talking.
"Y/N, what's got you so worked up? You've been acting a bit odd since we ate. You can tell me anything."
She let go of my arm and pulled me to a bench in front of my house.
"Yuxin, If I were to be eliminated, what would you do? I'm not saying I will, I just want to know. I mean, I would probably go back to Korea and we would be apart for a long time and with little communication."
I tried to analyze my thoughts, not because I didn't know the answer, but because I needed to know how to word my answer right.
"Well, I would think about quitting the show as well. I might go back with you and train to debut. Maybe I'll stay here a train. That would give me more access to you. Anything to be with you. You are one of my priorities now." I shot her a sweet smile.
"But what if that's not right for you? What if you'll be more successful if you stay here? Wouldnt you want that?" She asked as she played with her fingers.
"It wouldn't matter if I don't get to be with you. That's just how I feel." she rubbed her thighs and got up.
"Let's drop this conversation. I'm sleepy."
she walked to the door and I followed, I pulled out my keys and opened the door. She avoided my gaze as she went in.
She did the same as she got ready for bed and when I went to lie down, she was already sleeping on the couch that was in my room.
I felt something heavy on my chest as if she was mad at me or something. I kept analyzing what we did today to see if I did anything wrong but I just don't think I did.
I tucked myself in bed and try to empty my mind from all negative thoughts, soon drifting off to sleep.
-
"I have to go out of town for a school trip, girls. I will be there for the weekend and I'll come back on Sunday before you have to go back to the company. Take good care."
My mom left and we stayed behind all alone. My dad was now in the U.S. closing a big deal for his business and he wouldn't be back.
"Do you want to go out today?" I ask and Y/N shook her head. She approached me and took hold of my hands.
"Let's just stay here. I want to spend time with you before I-... before we go back to the company," she says and pulls me to the kitchen.
We cooked breakfast and ate while watching TV. We watched a few movies and played video games as well.
After a few hours of playing and goofing around together, we invited some of the girls over and we were now playing games in the living room.
I don't know which of the ten girls we invited over brought the alcohol but we are playing truth or dare.
"Shaking Chloe! truth or dare?" Asks AnQi who already had too many drinks.
"Truth" she replies without hesitation. AnQi looked around the room and starts to chuckle.
"Is it true that you have a crush on Xu Xinwen?" she asks and holds a bottle to Keyin's mouth.
"AnQi, you know Xinwen and I started dating a month ago. The alcohol got to you." Keyin said.
"Okay, time for us to go. Anyone else coming with us?" Xia'i asked as she made AnQi stand up. She protested but Xia'i slung her over her shoulders like a pillow.
"Yeah, we have to go as well. Bye girls, see you all tomorrow." Jiaqi, Xinwen, and Keyin stood up and walked to the cab that was waiting outside.
"Well, that leaves seven of us now. What should we do?" Lin Fan stood up, picked up the trash, and walked toward the kitchen.
"I think you mean six. Kong Xueer is knocked out." Keran mentions as she helps with the empty glasses.
I turn to Xueer and begin to laugh. I know I'm not in my senses because I feel drowsy and my stomach burns.
"Right. Xiaotang and I will take her and we will see you all tomorrow. Night." Shuxin spoke up and they took Xueer to Xiaotang's car.
As I walked behind them, I tripped over the mat and almost fell to the floor. I started laughing again and I saw Keran and Y/N run towards me trying to pick me up.
Everything is funny to me and I feel more dizzy with every step I take.
"Yuxin, drink this." Y/N hands me a cup and I drink it. It takes spicy and bitter. I feel like I'm going to throw up any minute.
Slowly, I start to feel better and the voices around me become more clear.
"I know, and I told her you weren't interested but she insisted. Maybe that's the bad thing about Peng Xichen. She's really possessive and persistent." I hear Keran's voice next to me.
"Why are you talking about Peng Xichen? What is she insisting on?" I ask, growing jealous instantly at the thought of Y/N going on a date with her.
"Oh, don't worry about it. We should eat some food now." Keran replies and Y/N walks to the kitchen with Lin Fan.
They call us over and we walk to the kitchen where they had made instant ramen. We sat together and ate in silence. I don't know how much they had been talking before I could come back to my senses but I could feel an off vibe around.
We finished eating and the two other girls left, leaving me and Y/N behind. She locked the door and turned off the lights as she guided me to the room.
"Change your clothes. I'll be back in a few minutes." She says and walks out of the room.
I change into my sleep clothes and she walks into the room. She makes me take a few pills to help me with my hangover in the morning.
I ask her to stay with me and she agrees as he ticks me and herself in bed. For some reason, I feel very vulnerable with her. I can let my guard down for all the bad I've lived in this industry.
I scoot down and wrap my arms around her waist. If anyone saw me like this they would wonder how Y/N managed to break through my calm and cool persona.
"I'm sorry, Yuxin. If I ever hurt you, I am so sorry." I hear her say.
"Don't apologize. You have never and could never hurt me." I can hear her breathing and her head resting against mine. I feel calm and I start to drift off to deep sleep.
-
I run around the whole building trying to find a clue of Y/N. The rankings are about to begin and she is nowhere to be found. I have looked everywhere and I can't find her.
My eyes are watering as I run and I head to the last place she could be which is the rooftop, but she isn't there. I call her name out a few times but no response.
As I reach the edge of the roof, I spot a car and two familiar figures. I can see clearly that it is Y/N and Sooyun. She has her bag in her hand and Sooyun takes it to put it inside the van.
My heart drops and I know exactly was it going on. She is leaving, but why? Why didn't she tell me? I have so many questions but all I do is run.
I run as fast as I can and when I finally reach the entrance I scream her name to the top of my lungs.
"HAN Y/N!" she turns and her eyes widen.
-
Han Y/N POV:
(the night before they go back)
I feel her body relax against mine and my tears start to flow. I hate this feeling in my gut but what I am about to do is for the better.
-
"Welcome back ladies. Please head back to your designated rooms and then head back down."
I walk to my room holding Yuxin's hand. Today, all we did was laze around in the house and mainly cuddle on the couch. We are now back on the company's premises and we have been rearranged from dorms.
"Okay, I'm here. I'll just settle down my bag. wait for me." I say as I walk into the room and put my bag down. I walk back out and walk with her to her new room.
As we walk in, we spot Naiwan, Keyin, and Keran already settling in.
"Hey, baobei. I'm happy to see you again!" Keyin launches herself towards me and I try to push her off.
"Keyin, we literally saw each other yesterday." She laughs it off and walks out with Naiwan.
Lin Fan comes in and drags Keran out, leaving me and Yuxin alone. I help her unpack and we sit together and talk about random things while playing card games.
That was until it was time for bed. I gave her a kiss and said goodbye. I quickly when to my room and lay on my bed. I don't bother to unpack my bag. Suddenly, I get a text.
Sooyun: I'll be there around 10 am.
I still have my phone on me and I know I shouldn't but it doesn't matter anymore.
I am leaving the show in the morning. Why? you might ask. Well, that night Yuxin and I went out to do her favorite things, and I saw her go take a call. I was on my way to the restroom and I overheard her conversation with her manager.
That's when I realized I was holding her back but not only that. Maybe she is only dating me because I look like Sooah. I really hope I am wrong but I don't want to keep causing her harm.
So I decided to go. I told Lin Fan and Keran what my plan was and they totally hated it but they couldn't make me change my mind.
I didn't want to go but Yuxin has worked so hard for years in this industry that it would be very selfish of me to hold her back. I know that she'll never agree to let me go if I do this any other way. She is just a hard-headed girl.
-
I grab my bag as everyone gets ready. Lin Fan and Keran are supposed to hold Yuxin back for a few minutes while Sooyun gets here and I leave. I want to avoid encounters with her because I'll just be hurting her more.
As I walk out, I see Sooyun and the van that's supposed to take us to the airport. I hand him my bad and he gets a phone call. He picks up quickly and when he hangs up, I hear a scream.
"HAN Y/N!" I grow startle at Yuxin's voice. She's supposed to be inside waiting for them to start.
"What are you doing here? go back inside now." I demand as I try to walk away but she held onto my hand.
"Where are you going? Why are you suddenly leaving me like this?" she asks and I fight my tears from falling.
"I have to go. I'm not going to debut here, I know it. I want to go home and train there where I have a chance." I reply with a lie.
"But, what about us? Is that why you were asking me? don't you love me?" her grip becomes tighter and I start tearing up as well.
"Stop questioning me please and let me go. I have to think about my future and you need to focus on yours. Just let me go and please focus on your career. Let's break up." I escape her grip and walk towards the van.
"Please don't leave. I need you Han Y/N. I love you." She doesn't give up and chases me so I have to think of something to say.
"You don't love me Liu Yuxin. I'm not your first love and you think I am just because I look like her. Just stay here and forget about me. Goodbye"
I walked away in pain. Leaving my first love behind. I am now sure she is my first true love just by the way I feel torn apart. But I know she's going to have better chances at reaching her dreams here.
She needs to stay here and succeed and if that means she needs to leave me behind, then so be it.
I get in the van and shut the door quickly.
"I hope destiny can bring us together again like it did before. Until then, please be happy without me." My tears begin to flow uncontrollably and I tell Sooyun to go.
I look back which was a huge mistake. All of the girls that I love the most are running outside and Yuxin is standing in the center.
"Soo, maybe you should've told them. Don't you think Yuxin will be heartbroken?" Sooyun says and I try to regulate my voice.
"She wouldn't have listened to me Sooyun. This is for her. She will succeed here. She doesn't need me." I reply
Suddenly, my phone begins ringing and blowing up with notifications and texts
I shut off my phone and take out my MP3. The only thing that could help me deal with my emotions right now was music.
-
"We're here. I brought all your stuff here when you left. If you wanna go back to the dorms I will ask the manager to reassign you to the dorms." He says.
"It's okay Sooyun. I'll stay here for a while. Could I just get some time alone please?" he simply nodded and walked out.
I sit on the bed. This room feels odd. Sooyun said I could stay in Sooah's instead of the guest room but I didn't dare to stay there. I wouldn't feel comfortable.
I put my luggage down and pull out my things. As I start to put my clothes in the drawer, I spot Yuxin's hoodie inside. The same one she gave me when she did that freestyle dance.
I slip on the hoodie and continue to put away my things. Once I'm done. I turn on my phone and send Aunt Minnie a message. I let her know that I have been okay and that I am no longer on the show.
I don't expect a reply from her since it's probably late there. I miss my sister so much. Sitting in the middle of this empty room, I don't know what to do. I don't know what to think and a million questions fill my head at the same time.
Did I do the right thing? Was I too harsh? Maybe there was another way to solve this...
I am snapped out of my thoughts as I heard knocking. "Come in," I reply. Sooyun came in.
"I got you some tea. I know you said you wanted to be alone but it just didn't feel right to leave you here by yourself. Plus, I really need to know what happened back there."
I took a deep breath and began telling him everything. How Yuxin and I started saying, how happy we were until she started to get called out and lose focus, how she turned down several contracts and deals just to be with me more time. I told him everything.
I thought he was going to judge me but surprisingly he understood. He hugged me as I let my tears run. Why was this hurting me so much? I don't understand.
He receives a call from work and has to leave. I am alone in this room again feeling a bit odd. All of my friends are on the show now. Zoe didn't come back to Korea after all and I am now stuck here crying in this room.
I go through the tons of messages that I have on my phone. All of them questioned why I left without a warning. Then I get to Yuxin's messages and I feel pain in my chest.
I feel like I didn't do the right thing. I want to reply and tell her everything but that will just make things worst at this point. I probably shouldn't have left.
I fell into tears again and now I know why. I had a connection with Yuxin. Whether it was romantic or not, I always felt her emotions. Her pain and sadness. Her happiness and worries. I always felt her love as well.
I start typing furiously but not to Yuxin. I text Lu Keran and ask her to hold Yuxin back. If she comes back, I won't be able to hold my emotions back and I know she wouldn't either. She would never go back.
Lu Keran agrees and says she'll keep me updated. She also lets me know that Lin Fan was eliminated and she was on her way here.
At least I'll have her to stay with me. I sit on the bed and scroll through random apps. I feel bored. Suddenly, I feel my eyes go heavy and I drift off to a deep sleep.
-
Liu Yuxin's POV:
As the van drives off and Y/N's words ring in my ears, I feel my world crumble. Why? That's all I can ask. Why? why? why? WHY!?
I can see everyone around me and I notice that are all as confused as I am. Suddenly, they start bombing me with questions. Some even accused me of doing something to make her leave.
I can hear Keran and Lin Fan push them away and I can't handle it anymore. I run back into the building and to the director's office. I demand my phone and he hands it to me with no further questions.
I call again and again. No answer. I call Sooyun and he picks up but doesn't give me an explanation. He only says he has no idea why Y/N decided to leave.
I text her but there is no response. My chest feels heavy and I feel tears run down my face. I keep asking myself why and that's all I can do as I try and send messages.
Keran and Lin Fan come into the room as well as the other girls.
"Lin Fan, did she tell you anything? Why did she leave like that?" I ask to hope for an answer.
"No, she just said something about the relationship not working. That's it." I saw Keran nudge her arm which made me grow more curious.
"Lu Keran, you know something. Tell me. What happened?"
She sighed and spoke. "Y/N told us not to tell you. She doesn't want to hear from you. She believes that the only reason why you were with her was that she looked soo much like Sooah and you know how much she hates that."
"Why would she believe that? I don't think I ever gave her a reason to do so, or maybe she heard... I need to talk to her and clear things up I..." I pace around the room trying to figure out what to do.
"Stop Yuxin! She doesn't want to hear it. She just doesn't want to hear from you anymore. It's not like she liked you anyways." Keran said as she held onto my shoulders.
"But she told me she had feelings for me. She said-" I was cut off by Lin Fan.
"She said she had feelings for you and she wanted to find out what they were. Maybe she finally found out. Just drop it, okay? She's not coming back and you won't be able to find her. I don't want you to end up hurting more."
I had too many mixed emotions and I guess they were right. Y/N never said she loved me. Maybe she was just using me to find out her true feelings.
I am devastated because I truly did love her and not because she looked like Sooah but I guess she'll never understand that. I'm heartbroken but I can't do anything about it.
"Yuxin, if you need a moment we can postpone the recording for later." The director speaks.
I can't think of myself when all of the girls have been waiting for this. I wipe my tears and build up my wall.
"No. The show must go on. Let's do this."
I walk out and we head to the room. I brace myself for what's to come.
-
With Y/N out of the show, Zeng Keni manages to get a spot in and Lin Fan ends up being eliminated. Or that's what the staff told me.
I got first place but I don't feel happy. I feel betrayed. Y/N left me here without an explanation. What will I tell my mom? what will I do now?
I don't know. I feel lost. Nothing makes sense. Nothing at all.
-
(a few months later)
"Congratulations to Asian Music Group's Liu Yuxin on winning first place." My heart was pounding so fast. I feel a glimpse of happiness and hope.
I hug Yu Shuxin and she patts my back. I feel tears run down my face and I am handed a microphone for my last speech.
"Thank you, my fans..." I begin to speak "Thank you for all your kindness." My voice begins to break and a knot is created in my throat.
"Thanks for your hard work." I bow and take a second to clear my voice.
"This time I can finally say... I've made it. Well, we all made it. There is no regret this summer and I hope I can reward your hard work with my future stage performances. Let's walk to an even bigger stage together."
I make my way up to the seat at the very top of the stairs, focused on not tripping as the other girls walk to hug me. As I make it to the top, I expect to see Han Y/N at least one more time before we start promotion time.
A time filled with activities and stages nonstop. I don't see her at all. I would hope to see her with Lin Fan and Hazel but she isn't there. She isn't anywhere so I make my final decision.
I will try to forget her for good.
-TBC-
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Author's Note:
I don't know if the story has been good so far but We have a few chapters to go for this ff to end. I will work on another one. A different fandom maybe but I'm really happy will all the views/reads this ff has gotten. Thank You to all of those who have been reading and supporting me. Love you all!