Jeremiah has been distant lately. He doesn't look at me, touch me, or say anything to me. Nor is he doing that with anyone else.
I need to figure out what's wrong but every time I try he pushes me away and has some excuse too.
Jere was in the kitchen making himself a sandwich of some sort.
"Jere?" He didn't look up but just gave a slight smile with a little nod.
"Please Jere I don't want to spent this summer not talking or even looking at each other. Did I do something? You don't have to tell me what's wrong but I want to spend this summer with you, even if we don't speak a word and just hangout that's fine with me. Please." Tears started forming in my eyes. I was pleading to him. I just want to make sure I didn't do anything. I was holding back tears as hard as I could. Bitting my bottom lip as hard as I could.
He stopped what he was doing, a frown grown on his face. He didn't look up.
"Please make a sign that at least I didn't do anything Jeremiah." That got his attention this time. He looked up confused.
Since we started dating I stopped calling him by his full name.
"It's not you, I promise." He said with no emotion. I wasn't convinced. Tears escaped from my eyes and I couldn't handle it. So I walked out.
❀
At dinner he didn't eat with us at the table. So after dinner I went up to his room. When I opened the door I saw him shuffling something that sounded like bottles.
"Umm hey." He said wiping his mouth and eyes.
"Hi," I said walking over to him. I saw the bottles of alcohol he tried to hide along with a photo of me, him, and Susannah. His favorite people. He was sitting on his windowsill. I could tell he had been crying. I didn't say anything else but instead hugged him. He bursted into tears again. Holding onto my arm as tight as he could. He didn't need to say anything I knew exactly what he wanted, just some one there to keep him company. And I understood, even if he didn't tell me or wasn't ready to tell me I was and forever will be there for him. I kissed the top of his head and he just melted into my arms more. He trusted me and felt safe with me. "How about we lay down and put the bottles away, ok?" I said
He nodded in response. He climbed back into his room but held onto me the whole time we walked over to his bed. Which was kind of hard since he was much taller than me.
When he laid down I laid with my back and head against his head board. He laid on my chest and I ran my fingers through his hair and rubbed his back with my other hand. He calmed down quickly in my arms.
"I love you." He said his voice cracking as he let out more tears. He buried his head more into my chest and hugged me tighter.
"Love you too Jere, forever and always, I'm always here."
"Thank you, for still putting up with me even after I've been ignoring you." He said threw tears and breaths.
He fell asleep on me at one point. And after a while I fell asleep to his sound of his breath and his familiar scent.