Chapter Nineteen
After Dylan stood and pondered her thoughts for a few minutes, she realised something had to change. She needed to talk to somebody because if she kept these confusing thoughts all bottled inside for any longer, she may actually explode.
The question was who, though. She needed somebody she was close enough to in order to trust them and feel comfortable but not somebody who could let anything slip to people like Carlos or Charles, or even Max, God forbid.
None of the boys were safe to talk to about this. Of all of them, she'd probably trust Lewis to keep it to himself but it wasn't fair to put him in that position with his friends and co-workers.
She'd love to speak to Ana but again, it wasn't fair to ask her to keep something like that from her own brother.
Making her decision, she walked out of Max's room and made her way down the pit lane until she arrived outside the Williams garage. There were a few engineers around, using the media day distractions to work on the car in peace. The one bonus of her new-found public notoriety seemed to be that she no longer was questioned walking into other teams' garages. People recognised her and knew she was friends with most of the drivers, allowing her to wander about where she pleased.
She smiled politely at the team members she passed until she got the back rooms and found the person she was looking for sprawled on a sofa in a meeting room.
"Lily!"
Alex's girlfriend looked up and beamed as she saw Dylan, "Dee! Hi, gorgeous!"
Dylan raced over and gave her a hug before collapsing onto the sofa next to her. Lily was wearing a beautiful crochet black dress, looking every inch the WAG she was. Her hair, makeup, and nails were done to perfection. Lily had previously expressed the pressure that she felt on race weekends to look perfectly put together as she would come under so much scrutiny just for her appearance. It was probably why she was hiding in the Williams back rooms as opposed to the hospitality suites because nobody bothered her here.
"It's so good to see you."
Lily smiled, "You too! I'm sorry I missed Imola, I had a tournament."
"Don't be silly, your work always has to take priority and you did really well so congratulations! I loved all your pictures."
"Thank you, but I heard from Alex that I missed quite the exciting weekend, and not because of the racing."
"He's not wrong." She grimaced, "I guess Lando filled him in on everything. That boy really is a gossip."
"I am so sorry you'd been going through all that though. And you never told any of us! I was really shocked, personally. I mean, Max is blunt, sure, but he was always completely cordial and kind to me when I was there alongside Alex in his time at Red Bull. I would have absolutely vouched for him. His behaviour makes no sense."
Dylan sighed, "Well, that's what I wanted to talk to you about actually. Things have been...weird."
Lily glanced behind her and then stood up and closed the door, giving them privacy, "Okay, you should just start from the beginning. Alex's retelling of stories is terrible."
Where was the beginning?
"Okay, but you can't judge me because I know what I'm about to say is ridiculous."
"Judgement-free zone." Lily promised.
"Right, uhm- okay." Dylan blew out a harsh breath, "Well, obviously you know from Alex that me and Max did not exactly get along at first. And that's true, he really wasn't very nice to me and either acted like he hated me or I didn't exist. But what I never told anyone was that even throughout all that time, I've been attracted to him. I was attracted to him the first second I saw him."
She tried not to panic at the shock on Lily's face and continued.
"It was fine, I was compartmentalising everything and I kept a lid on it so that everything could carry on like normal. And that worked, keeping everything separate, you know? But ever since the boys found out how Max had been treating me, things have gotten really difficult."
"Difficult how?"
"Because the boys want me to stay away from him, which makes complete sense, and I've been trying, I really have." She pulled at the ends of her hair, "But obviously I work in close proximity to him so I can't just never see him again and the weirdest thing is that since that Italy weekend, Max stopped being so rude to me. In fact, now I'd say there are almost times when he's...quite nice to me?"
"Well, that's good, right?"
"Yes, it's so much better, oh my god. But I don't know how to talk to Carlos about it. He's so set in his grudge that I wouldn't want him to think I'm being disloyal or disrespectful by still speaking to Max. And if he ever even suspected that I might be attracted to the guy then I think he would disown me as a cousin. There's a real chance I could fuck things up and I don't know what to do."
Lily frowned, "Has anything happened between the two of you?"
"God, no!" Dylan laughed, "He doesn't see me like that at all. It's entirely a one-sided attraction. Honestly, you should've seen his face when he danced with me in the club, he looked so pissed off."
"You danced together?"
"He didn't know it was me." She clarified, "Otherwise I'm sure he wouldn't have even thought about it. I'm not his type."
"But you want to be?" Lily asked.
Dylan ran a hand through her hair, stressed, "Ugh, maybe? Is that terrible of me? Liking someone who treated me like that and doesn't like me back? I feel like I should have more self-respect."
"No, no, it's not terrible." Lily soothed, reaching forward and grabbing Dylan's hand in support, "Bless you, there's so much going on in your head and you've not been talking to anyone!"
"I just don't think Carlos would understand."
"Hmm, you're probably right. I think it's still a bit too fresh for him. And you can understand that, I mean you're like a sister to him and he probably felt like he wasn't there to look out for you."
"This whole thing is so stupid." Dylan groaned, "I don't even date drivers. It's like my number one rule."
"Why not?"
"I don't want to worry about them getting hurt and I don't want the media attention."
Lily chuckled and gave Dylan a look she didn't understand, "Dee, let me ask you. Are you already getting media attention?"
The headlines, the Instagram comments, and the swarming journalists came to the forefront of Dylan's mind and she hesitantly nodded.
"And are you already worried when Max gets in a car?"
Dylan bit her lip, wanting to deny it but unable to lie about the gut-wrenching anxiety that had started to creep into her mind every time Max came too close to a collision. Throughout all the practices, qualifying sessions, and races, she'd been adding him to her mental safety prayers. Reluctantly, she nodded.
"So you're already experiencing those negatives. Why deny yourself the positive side of being with someone you like?"
She considered Lily's words. It definitely highlighted the stupidity of clinging to her rule, but it didn't change one big, undeniable fact.
"Because he doesn't like me."
Lily sighed and reached forward to wrap the girl in a hug, "You need to get your mind off this. We should get you all dressed up and confident for the media event tonight. You're going, right?"
"Yeah, I am." She replied, "Okay, I'm open to it. Work your magic."
"And as for Carlos and the boys, I'd usually encourage you to have an honest conversation but maybe this is best kept between us. Although it might be worth mentioning that Max has stopped being awful to you because Alex did say that this grudge from Carlos has been a bit awkward at times. Max doesn't hang out with them as much anymore."
"You're right, I'll try catch them later." Dylan said, "I should probably head out now, I've got to be back in the pen in 10 minutes."
"Ooh, good luck with that." Lily laughed.
Dylan gave her friend one last hug before standing up to leave, "Thank you, I was going insane with nobody to talk to."
"I'm always here. And don't worry, I've had a million crushes and they've all passed eventually. Just try to keep your head down, all the confusion will blow over."
Dylan thanked her one more time before heading back out to the garage and down the pit lane towards the media zone. She could only hope that Lily's words were true and her confusing feelings for Max were just a silly crush that would blow over. Unfortunately, as she remembered the sparks that had shot through her when he'd held her hands against his chest and stared at her so intently, she thought it might take a bit longer than anticipated.
The rest of the day flew past. Dylan shadowed Max around all his various media commitments, from interviews, to sponsorship meetings, to fan meet and greets. It was a tiring enough schedule for her just to be focused on getting good content, she couldn't imagine what it was like for him doing that every weekend.
He didn't mention anything further about their earlier conversation. Instead, they just returned to their new normal of a friendly-ish stalemate. It seemed like they were still getting comfortable talking to each other as friends but each time, it came a little more naturally.
At 4pm, they were released for the day but Dylan headed straight back to the hotel with Lily to get ready for the Netflix event that evening.
"Is it formal?" Lily asked as Dylan came out of the bathroom, her hair wet from the shower.
"I think so? I got an email about it this afternoon, I think it said it was like a sit down dinner and then mingling and drinks."
With that information, Lily walked over to her suitcase and rummaged around before pulling out a long, navy dress. She held it out to Dylan with a pointed look.
"Lily I-"
"This is what you wear to find the right guy for you. And show Max what he's missing as a bonus."
Dylan wasn't sure Max actually cared to see what he may be missing but she sighed in defeat and took the dress, placing it on a hanger in the wardrobe, "I'm saying maybe, that's it. Now can I borrow your moisturiser?"
The two girls sat there and exchanged gossip while they did their makeup and hair for the event. Lily, like Dylan, got on well with most people around the paddock and this ensured she had a wealth of gossip stored up in her brain. Dylan was in stitches at the tales of secret affairs and sabotage that Lily had witnessed in her years following Alex around different garages.
She shared her own stories of drama from university, as well as some embarrassing stories of Carlos from their childhoods. Lily had a way of making her feel completely at ease and she was grateful for the girl time. As Lily stood up and went over to the mirror with her curling iron, she looked curiously at Dylan, "You know, I never asked you earlier what it is that attracted you to Max."
Dylan thought for a moment as she brushed her hair back into a ponytail, "I don't really know." Lily went to speak but Dylan cut her off, "Don't even start with me, I know it's a shitty answer but it's true! It's not the things he does - because most of those irritate or confuse me - but it's just...the first time I met him, he looked at me and it was like I felt something change inside me. Like he just made sense even though he is the person who makes the least sense in the world. And as ridiculous as it sounds, the way he smells just...pulls me in? It's like I can think completely clearly and not think straight at all. Oh, I don't know, I sound insane."
When she looked up, Lily was staring at her intently and she felt defensive, "What?"
"That's kind of exactly how I felt when I met Alex."
"Oh."
That wasn't what Dylan had been expecting to hear and she definitely didn't know what to do with it. Alex and Lily were the perfect couple; everyone said they were soulmates, two ideally balanced people who truly cared for the other and would be together a long time. That was a far cry from what she and Max were.
"Oh, Dee. This isn't a crush, you're in deep."
Dylan bit her lip, the truth of the statement settling on her, "This wasn't supposed to happen."
Lily dropped her curlers on the desk and rushed over to give her friend a tight squeeze. She'd heard such a mix of things from Alex, Carmen, and George over the last few weeks whilst she'd been busy but this had been the last thing she'd expected. It was clear that Dylan had kept so much from her cousin and the boys and things were a much more tangled mess than Lily had expected.
"Come on." She soothed as Dylan sniffed, "Don't ruin your makeup now. We can still go have a good night."
"You're right. Let me go fix this and I'll get changed."
Dylan pulled the navy dress out of the wardrobe and walked into the bathroom. Using a gel stick, she slicked her baby-hairs back to create a smooth low bun and touched up the damp mascara on her bottom lashes.
Then it came to the dress.
The dress was strapless so she stepped in feet first and shimmied the material up her body. It was form-fitting and clung to her curves in a flattering way. There was a long slit up the left leg, exposing her skin up to her mid-thigh. With the jewellery Lily had suggested, even Dylan had to admit that she looked beautiful and, more importantly, she felt confident.
There was just one thing.
"Lily! I look like a walking Red Bull promo!"
She walked out of the bathroom and frowned. Under the proper light of the bathroom, she'd realised that the navy colour of the dress was an exact match for the official branding colours of Red Bull and even her red lipstick played into the look. As she caught her friend's eye, there was an unmistakable flash of guilt across her face.
Dylan clocked her game instantly, "Did you do this on purpose?"
Lily tried to contain her glee but she couldn't help her grin, "Okay, don't hate me but I thought it would send a message to a certain someone who probably sleeps in Red Bull merch."
Memories of Hasselt and late night conversations came back and she smiled fondly, "He doesn't."
"Hmm?"
"He- uhm, he doesn't sleep in Red Bull merch." Dylan muttered, shaking her head before getting back on track, "I'm gonna have to get changed, I look ridiculous."
"Don't you dare!" Lily scolded, "You look drop-dead gorgeous! Who cares about the colours? That dress is amazing on your figure and you better march into this event and have everyone wishing they were dating you. Except Alex, I've got dibs there."
Before Dylan could argue any further, there was a loud knock on the door and Lily skipped over to open it and reveal Alex and Lando. They were both in smart suits and jokingly whistled as they saw the girls.
"Good evening. We have instructions to escort two very beautiful ladies to a ball." Lando said grandly, putting on a very posh accent.
Dylan laughed and slipped her heels on, reaching for her handbag. Lily was in Alex's arms, kissing his cheek and praising the suit. Lando stepped past them and came to a stop in front of Dylan.
"You look nice." She complimented.
"Why, thank you. You look great as well, nice dress." He replied cheerfully.
They made their way out of the hotel room and down towards reception.
"So are you my date for tonight?" Dylan joked.
"Well, the rest of the boys are downstairs."
"...Okay?"
Lando scratched the back of his neck awkwardly, "We were just thinking that whoever you walk in could cause problems for you in the media. So you can come with all of us as a group or you can choose who you want to take you, we're all happy to do it."
Dylan was touched by the level of thought that had gone into that decision. She'd spoken to Carlos on and off about the media problems but what happened today with Pierre in the Q&A had been a new level of intrusiveness and Lando was right that whoever she showed up with would probably end up trending on Twitter with her.
She squeezed his arm in gratitude as they turned the corner and saw the rest of the boys in reception. They all looked extremely handsome in their suits and Carmen had the most beautiful emerald green dress. Carlos spotted her first and waved them over.
"Chiquita, you look so pretty!" He wrapped her in a tight hug.
She pulled away and reached to squeeze his cheeks, "You look very pretty as well."
"Ay, leave me alone." He groaned, batting her away.
"Listen, Carlos, I need to talk to yo-"
Before she could get any words out about Max, she was interrupted by Charles coming over to give her a hug. She shot a glance at Carlos, hoping he'd understand that they needed to talk and then she greeted the rest of the group. They stood in reception for another few minutes, chatting and catching up before a short man in a uniform came and informed them their taxis had arrived. The right moment didn't reappear to talk with Carlos and she scolded herself for not having done it earlier in the day.
"Which taxi are you getting in?" Carmen asked her as they walked outside.
Her eyes quickly scanned over the group and she shook her head, "I don't know. Who will attract me the least controversy?"
"I can see an unfair headline coming out of each of them, to be honest" She shrugged, "You've already been rumoured to be with Lando and Carlos. Don't even get me started on the Pierre and Charles stupidity and if you go with Yuki, people will somehow link you back to Pierre again."
"Great."
"I love you, Dee, but I am very glad I'm not you."
The comment made Dylan laugh and she couldn't help but agree. Carmen definitely seemed to have her life more together than she did.
In the end, she got in the taxi with Carlos, Charles, and Pierre. Sticking with her cousin seemed like the safest option, even if the world didn't know they were related. Her plan was to enter with all of them, as opposed to one of them. Journalists were going to make stories either way but she could at least give them a harder job.
As the car set off, she turned to Pierre, "I'm so sorry your media session got so derailed. That wasn't fair to you at all."
He frowned, "That wasn't your fault. I'm sorry for how they spoke about you, it was completely disrespectful."
"I agree!" Charles chimed in from the front seat.
"We heard about it afterwards." Carlos said, "I hope they threw the guy out."
"Christian and Greg said they'd handle it."
"Have you thought about making a public statement again? Saying something to get the media off your back?" Her cousin asked.
Dylan sighed, "Yeah, it's crossed my mind but I don't know what to say. If I tell people you're my cousin then everyone's going to attack or dismiss my work."
"You'll figure it out, chiquita. And until then, we've got your back."
She smiled gratefully as Pierre and Charles nodded.
"Thank you, guys. I promise to stop dragging you into the headlines."
Pierre grinned cheekily, "You can drag me anywhere you want, Dee."
"Oye! Knock it off." Carlos reached over and smacked him around the head.
Before the fighting could get any worse, they pulled up at the hotel where the event was being held and Dylan gulped at the sight of all the flashing media outside. As it was a promo event, she wouldn't even be safe inside. She'd have to be on her guard all night.
"Time to face the music."