Park Jisung was clumsy.
Hayun knew this because she was stood in the same queue as him, a few people between them but it was clear everyone was thinking the same.
Her headphones did a good job at keeping noise out but she could still see Jisung chuckling out of embarrassment, gulping when he spilt some of his drink as soon as the barista handed it to him.
Hayun tilted her head a little, eyes staring at the tall awkward boy who was now a little frantically wiping the mess away with some tissues someone behind him had given.
His cheeks were pink, apologising to the person waiting for him to move. His hand still had the cold drink spilt on it but he didn't want to be there any longer, turning around.
Jisung wanted the ground to open up and swallow him, he avoided eye contact with everyone at all costs as he mentally cursed himself for being clumsy.
A short expel of air left Hayun in amusement, lips beginning to pull up as Jisung hurried out of the cafe with his wired headphones hanging from around his arm because they fell out during the whole ordeal.
When it came to her turn to order and receive her drink, she smiled and thanked the barista. With the iced coffee in her hand, she began to walk out while taking a sip of it, eyes scanning the main floor of the company building.
It was more busy at this time, midday. People were rushing around the building, some more carefree than others. Trainees with stressed expressions, managers heading to another meeting, staff members weaving through crowds to get to where they needed to be.
Hayun headed to the second floor, noticing she was quite early for her practice so she walked over to the middle of the hallway, stopping at the railing which overlooked the ground floor.
Now she was staring down at the chaotic place she was just in, resting her arm on the railing as she took sips of her coffee. She liked people watching, not that she would judge people but it was nice just to see what was going on.
She became familiar with faces she noticed frequently, the same people she sees walking the hallways and even though she had never spoken to them, it became a usual thing here to see them.
"That's such a lie!" The quiet and calmness of Hayun's people watching got interrupted by the sound of bickering. It got louder as the people came around the corner, a loud huff from the older one who was stomping his feet to make a point. "Hey! Who do you think cleans the dorm the most?"
Hayun recognised Renjun pretty immediately, although he looked a little heated in defensiveness. Chenle followed, hands in his pocket as Renjun argued.
"I clean my apartment too." Chenle shrugged.
"But you're not living with three other people." Renjun pointed, huffing. "Especially Park Jisung. He's so-"
Hayun glanced over, taking a sip from her coffee just as Renjun made eye contact with her. Once he realised they were in fact not alone in the hallway, his words halted and lips pressed shut.
The sudden silence gained Chenle's attention, he turned around which meant now he was facing Hayun staring at her.
She looked unfamiliar to him but he wasn't too concerned with knowing what her role was in the company, he just returned the greeting when Hayun decided to break the few seconds of silence.
Renjun too returned it but grabbed Chenle's arm to pull him alongside. Before they turned the corner she could hear them begin to bicker again.
It must've been time for their practice because Hayun glanced at the stairs which led from the ground floor to the second one where she was. Since she was by the railing looking over, she had a direct view of the stairs.
There were quite a few at that. Someone was basically dragging his feet up the steps, tired clearly. He let out a small sigh once reaching the top, ready to start walking towards the practice room but his name was yelled.
"Mark!" Donghyuck called from the first step with Jaemin and Jeno behind him. The leader waited for the other boys to catch up, Mark putting an arm around Jaemin's shoulder as they all walked together.
Hayun leant her arms on the railing, resting her cheek against one of them as she gazed over the people below.
Amidst the orderly movement of people was a chaotic individual, weaving through others with repeated apologies. His actions suggested he was making a beeline towards the elevator which was about to close.
Just to his luck, he missed it.
Park Jisung visibly was disappointed, immediately turning around but having been unaware that there was an older staff member behind him.
He jumped at the sudden scare of someone being there, the drink in his hand wobbling but it seemed he was holding it tightly.
Hayun's eyes followed Jisung, he was awkwardly apologising and began to make his way to the stairs. Before he started walking up them, he looked up the amount of steps with a reluctance.
He seemed a little disheartened by his turbulent morning, his head tilted down as he walked the steps, seemingly watching his feet.
Finally almost reaching the top, he lifted his head but almost got the shock of his life when he noticed someone was stood there- a little off to the side but they made eye contact almost immediately.
He questioned if she was already looking at him, the thought made him flush because now he began to overthink.
Jisung didn't even spare another two seconds of eye contact, his movements quickening up actually as he made it up and continued walking through the hallway.
Hayun glanced over her shoulder, finding it a little amusing how he was obviously walking faster to avoid the possible interaction.
Jisung rubbed the back of his neck, stopping by the door of his practice room but turned his head back towards the end of the hallway.
His pulse jumped at the surprise when he accidentally made eye contact again with the girl but he wondered why she was looking over her shoulder at him.
There was a ghost of a smile on her lips as she turned her head back around to look over the railing.
Hayun heard the door shutting and she took another sip of her drink, glancing at the cup and noticing it was almost finished anyway so she drank the rest and threw it away.
"Oh- Hayun!" Just as she was walking back from the trash can, Akari had emerged from the elevator with her hand clutching her bag strap, greeting the girl with a smile.
"Hey." Hayun replied, the two of them naturally beginning to walk to their own practice room. "Tired?" She asked upon noticing the older girl's lack of energy.
"So tired." Akari sighed.
♮
Hayun practiced diligently for the next few days until the girls were finally granted the whole day of rest.
She ended up sleeping in until late, catching up on all that sleep and letting her body relax fully.
Waking up after sleeping for so long was quite disorienting and her body ached as soon as she opened her eyes.
Reaching for her phone, she checked the time which was already 1pm, meaning she had been sleeping for many many hours.
Hayun had a few messages from her childhood best friends- Sieun and Yebin. They began university not long ago, studying hard and decided to take another path but they were still so close.
Hayun was glad she had friends like them, she appreciated the longevity of their friendship and bond.
The house was silent, that's what she realised once finally finding the strength to leave her bed. She shared a bathroom with her whole family, they lived in a small house.
The toothpaste cap was off, skincare bottles scattered around and a towel thrown on the ground. She sighed, rubbing at her aching head as she got herself ready for the day.
Her siblings would be at school and her dad at work, he usually came home just before he needed to pick up the younger two from school.
Hayun noticed the house was messy downstairs too, which wasn't unusual. Everyone leaves in a rush in the morning, there's no time for cleanups.
The dishwasher had yet to been unloaded, dirty dishes hadn't been cleaned away and put inside the dishwasher. The bowls of cereal still on the table, mostly eaten and the pan from making eggs was left on the stove unwashed.
Although she was hungry, she couldn't ignore the mess right now. She began by unloading the clean dishes from the dishwasher to put them in their places, then load the dirty ones.
Washing the pan and a few other stuff didn't take too long, nor did wiping down the surfaces. It was pretty routine for her.
Hayun managed to eat something, not a lot though. She felt sick today, her head pulsated with pain and all her muscles sore.
The messy house was cleaned by Hayun, she made sure to vacuum all the mess on the ground and put everything back in it's rightful place.
The house felt a little suffocating at times and as she sat alone on the sofa with her eyes staring at the family picture on the wall, she tore her gaze away and stood up.
Grabbing her phone and a hoodie to pull over her, Hayun slipped on her shoes and her headphones over her head and left the house.
She never went too far, just to get some fresh air. She liked her neighbourhood, it was peaceful and pretty scenic.
She messaged the first person she thought would be awake- her cousin. They agreed to meet up at the park near his house which was a five minute walk.
Hayun made her way to the swing set, sitting on the unoccupied one. She turned to look at her older cousin, his hair was a little messy from the wind and he pushed his glasses up to adjust them.
He handed over a drink, he had two in his hand one for him and one for her. She thanked him, the two of them staring into the distance where the man was walking his dog.
He was elderly, very old but he still walked his dog the same route everyday. He refused to let anyone else do it.
"How's practice?" He asked Hayun, she shrugged, leaning her head against the swing rail.
"It's hard...but I'm getting through it. How's the family?"
"Same old." He shrugged.
Hayun was always quite close to her cousin, he was around two years older than her and they grew up together playing on this very park.
Jiho wasn't the most approachable but she knew the sides to him that most wouldn't see. Hayun was pretty easy going but wasn't the most open with her feelings, he helped her express herself more.
"Remember when you pushed me off this swing?" Jiho asked, reminiscing the memory.
"Yeah, because you wouldn't get off and let me have a turn." Hayun replied, completely standing with her decision more than ten years ago. He laughed, thinking how ruthless she was as a child.
"You never let me go on your bike either though." Hayun countered and he scoffed.
"You didn't even know how to ride a bike though."
"So? I would've learnt." She shrugged, the thought of not knowing didn't turn her off from it.
There was a minute or so of comfortable silence before it was broken.
"Are you getting along with your members?"
Jiho didn't know too much about the group situation because it was all so new and Hayun was always busy.
"Yeah, I mean we're all good. We get along and it's friendly...they've all known each other years though."
"You feel left out?"
"Not really, I know they have more of a bond. Just gonna take some time to get to know everyone properly." She shrugged.
Hayun wasn't easily worried about a lot, she didn't put too much weight on things and went with the flow of everything. Sometimes that led her into a mess but other times it was enjoyable to just let life happen.
She was sure that eventually she would be close with the other girls, she would just need to make effort, the same with them to her.
♮
It was Hayun's younger sisters birthday in a few days, she was turning 11. Nari didn't ask for a lot for her birthday, she only asked that she could repaint her room.
Hayun didn't have a lot of free time and the only day off from training was today, it was the last day of their small break. She managed to convince Jiho and his friend Sehun to help her paint Nari's room.
Midway through, she stood up straight and huffed, wiping away the sweat beading at her forehead.
"I think it needs another coat."
Sehun let out a groan of protest but had come to know Hayun was persistent so either way, another coat of paint would be done.
After the rigorous day of painting, Nari came home from school to her first birthday surprise. Immediately at the sight of her coloured walls, she jumped for her sister to hug her. She was over the moon, truly.
Unfortunately, the paint needed to dry and Hayun didn't want Nari to be sleeping in a room full of wet paint so they shared her bed today.
It took a while for them to even go sleep, they stayed up talking for a while even though Hayun kept reminding her that she had school in the morning.
The conversation lessened and Hayun thought her sister would be sleeping but through the quiet air, the young girl spoke.
She was laying on her side looking at Hayun who's features were lit up by the bedside lamp Nari wanted to be kept on.
Nari's eyes stared over Hayun's features, not a smile or a frown on her lips as she spoke.
"You look like Mum." Is what Nari said, stating it as a fact but her voice was soft. "You have the same eyes."
♮
Hayun didn't sleep much that night, all she thought about was how much she apparently resembled her Mother.
Growing up she didn't look much like her, everyone agreed Hayun was a copy of her Dad. As she started to grow up, the more her Mother's features began to mirror some of her own.
Hayun was up with the family today, she had practices early anyway. She helped clean up while her Dad rushed with handing out breakfast to the kids.
"Hayun, you should eat." He told her, concerned but she shrugged him off.
"I'll grab something, but I gotta go before I'm late!" She replied, ruffling Jinwoo's hair and calling out a bye to her family.
Jinwoo was the youngest, he was seven. He beamed up at his eldest sister and waved her off with a mouthful of food.
The air was cold outside, colder than usual and she tilted her head up to see the swirls of grey in the sky, indicating it could rain.
Hayun quickened her pace, knowing she didn't have a lot of time until practice started and she could not be late.
Music played though her headphones, her fingers tapping against her thigh as she stopped at the crossing to wait for the lights to change.
The familiar building came into view and Hayun entered while mentally preparing herself for the exhausting day of practice she had ahead of her.
There weren't many people here as it was early in the morning but the practice room was already full of the other four members stretching.
Hayun apologised for being late, hurriedly joining them and within five minutes, they were already starting with the most difficult part of their choreography.
There was no room to be making mistakes, especially not when they were due to debut but it seemed like Hayun was the only one making mistakes.
It was unfair to the team, she clenched her fists and pushed herself to do better with each repeat of the move until her body couldn't do another.
Being so closely scrutinised was hard, it was hard transitioning from being a trainee to someone who was about to debut. Everything was overwhelming.
Disappointing looks and quiet mutters between the choreographers made her nervous. Hayun sipped on her water, trying to regain her breath.
It had been so many hours since they began and everyone was tired.
Jinae clapped her hands together to gain their attention.
"Everyone, let's end it here."
"We can go?" Hana asked, glancing at the time as there was still four hours of their slotted practice time left.
"You girls can...but I want Hayun to stay and practice more."
Her heart dropped to the floor, the weight in the pit of her stomach getting heavier. Hayun was sat on the ground already, tilting her head down with a wave of irritation starting to bloom over her.
Why was it so hard to keep up?
Seola offered to stay and help but Hayun declined, deciding it would be better for her to take a break then come practice alone.
Everyone began to file out, including choreographers who were congratulating the girls on their hard work, praising them.
Hayun watched them leave and the door close.
Then she collapsed down to lay on the ground, eyes staring into the ceiling above as the floor vibrated with the music that kept playing on repeat.
Hayun gritted her teeth, pushing herself up to her feet and switching the music off.
Striding towards her belongings, she grabbed her phone and headphones, pulling it on and leaving the practice room.
There was no use in practicing with such high emotions right now, she would just end up crying. Hayun needed to take a small break then get back into it.
She would do it, she had to do it right. There's no room for so many mistakes.
Hayun practically stormed out of the practice room, so in her head that she almost went crashing into the person walking towards her direction.
"Oh-" the person halted, not wanting to bump into Hayun. She looked up, apologising to the girl. She was pretty, she seemed around near the same age and behind her was Chenle.
"It's okay, don't worry." The girl smiled, her hand reaching to link with Chenle's as they continued walking and conversing.
Hayun continued on her way, taking the steps down to the ground floor then another flight down to the cafeteria.
She noticed a lot of trainees and staff members but she didn't make much eye contact, Hayun was too focused on the burden on her shoulders which was her dragging the team down.
Hayun didn't get much food, she opted for a drink and headed straight for the round table at the end. Sighing of relief when she saw something sweet, she only ate sweet things when she was stressed really.
She grabbed the chocolate cupcake but noticed someone was just a second late in grabbing it, his hand closing and retreating. Hayun's eyes flickered up, meeting the same boy from the same situation as last time.
She squinted her eyes at him, tilting her head ever so slightly.
"Do you like chocolate cupcakes that much?" She questioned.
Maybe he wasn't expecting her to ask him that question, he wasn't prepared with an answer. Hayun raised her eyebrows at the lack of a prompt response.
"Um...oh um I...yeah, I mean yeah. It's nice." He nodded, gulping. His eyes were a clear indication of his discomfort, he looked on edge or something.
Hayun thought about the times she had seen him before, clearly not having the best of days with his coffee and the elevators.
Hayun didn't know Park Jisung personally, she had barely encountered him but there was just something about him.
His eyes began to scan the small table, reaching out towards the fruit cup but his movement was stopped by a smaller hand clasping around his wrist.
He was startled, eyes widening a little as Hayun placed the cupcake in his hand then let go of him, reaching out to grab the fruit cup then left without a word.
Jisung looked down at the chocolate cupcake in his hand then back up again but the girl was already exiting the doors without a glance back.
Well what's the thoughts lmkkkkk