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Daryl and Rick lead Julia further into the woods as she enjoys the peaceful silence. Being cramped around the group for the past few days has been torturous to Julia.
Plus she actually was enjoying watching Daryl track Sophia's trail to her it all just looked like dirt. Except here and there Julia would like to believe she could see the outline of a foot. But it seemed rather large to be Sophia's and that made her note she was in fact tracking the two men in front of her.
That made her grumble profanities earning looks but she didn't explain her frustrations to them.
With more walking Daryl seemed to be following a certain path as Rick walked behind him before stopping. "The tracks are gone." He sighs and that makes Julia glare at him for being able to track as well. Not as good as Daryl but he still was able to see something Julia wasn't able to.
"No they're faint, but they ain't gone. She came through here." Daryl says pointing to non existent marks.
"How can you tell?" Rick asks and Julia roughly pushes him aside a bit to be between the two men. She wanted to learn how too making Rick smother a slight chuckle given the situation.
"Yeah I don't see anything but dirt, grass, and your guys big ass mammoth feet mucking up any supposed trail." Julia huffs making Daryl glance at her close proximity as she stared at him waiting for him to explain tracking.
That just made Daryl scoff at either her curiosity or the big feet comment before shaking his head continually following a supposed trail.
"You two want a lesson in tracking or you want to find that girl, and get out ass off that interstate?" Daryl sasses making Rick look down as Julia sneers.
"Why can't we do both Jackass. No need to get lippy with us we're just trying to learn so we can help." The girl sasses before once again putting space between her and the men by taking the back.
She didn't know how she hadn't been bothered by their closeness until now but she wanted her space from them.
Daryl just scoffed again as Rick stared backwards at Julia who kept making faces and mocking what Daryl had said to herself. She caught eyes with Rick and froze before glaring at him and looking away with annoyance.
Rick found Julia amusing, she wasn't like most women her age...,. Or anyone her age..... or really she wasn't like anyone in existence.
But he was beginning to see progress with how she'd come close to them here and there. That she didn't mutter as much about the complete incompetence of men only when she was annoyed by something.
"Staring problem grimes or do you just have a death wish." Julia spat making Rick look away saying a quick and soft sorry as she stared him down now.
As the trio soon walk along side each other for a while a rustling ahead makes the three duck down and grab their weapons. Julia has both swords in front of her before she crouch walks forward with the men.
They see movement through the brush and it's a long haired Walker.
Daryl does a hand motion for Rick to go distract the creature making Julia grip her swords tighter as Rick runs ahead of the Walker. "Dibs." Julia whispers to Daryl who side eyes her but says nothing.
Julia creeps up from behind the Walker ready to impale it's head as Rick whistles and waves getting it's attention.
The Walker let's put a bellowing roar and right as Julia goes to pierce it in the head and arrow goes through it's eye socket and makes its body drop right in front of her.
Julia whips around and glares at Daryl who acts unbothered as she stomps her foot at him. "That one was mine asshole. I called dibs." Julia snaps while Daryl approaches ignoring her completely.
"No no- I called dibs. I don't care if the world goes to shit or doesn't that means I get the kill you pansy pusher. Now I get to slap you as punishment." Julia seethed lifting her hand to smack the red neck but he simply catches it.
He still doesn't say anything as he seems to be taking her in but Julia rips her arm away from him aggressively. "Don't fucking touch me." She speaks in a calm normal tone as she grabs his arrow from the walkers head.
Daryl stretches his hand out for it but Julia simply clutches onto it and puts distance between them so he can't take it back by force. He could try but she'd mess him up the second his finger tips even brushed her.
Rick stared between the two with an unknown emotion that went unnoticed by the pair. Rick then crouched down and inspected the Walker for signs it had been around Sophia. He flips it on its back as Daryl looks around the area for any signs of the missing girl.
Julia too bends down to look and spots fresh blood on it's finger nails and shirt.
"SOPHIA!" Daryl yells not looking at what Julia had noticed as her finger slowly points to it. "Fresh blood." Julia voices her finding making both men look to see the blood as well. Rick opens its mouth and sighs, "It fed recently." He basically repeats Julia's finding making her give him a look.
She didn't comment on his stupidity.... Loudly. It was just a mutter about men being incompetent making Rick glance at her a bit surprised. He didn't know what he did to upset her, but he did what all men do.
Undermine her intelligence and try to take the credit. That's how Julia saw it anyway when really Rick had been agreeing with her on what the fresh blood meant.
"There's flesh caught in its teeth." Rick announces looking away from an annoyed Julia. She would still bitterly believe this was better then being with Shane.
"Yeah what kind of flesh?" Daryl asks as Julia just blankly stares at the men. She decided to give the silent treatment until her knowledge was valued. Or at least she would try but if any fucker pissed her off she'd still cuss them out.
"Only one way to know for sure." Rick says while opening the walkers shirt. It's belly was descended meaning it had quite a big meal. Julia couldn't help but scrunch her face up at the sight as Rick held a knife ready to gut it.
Daryl stops Rick and gets in a more professional position, he was hunter surely he knew how to properly gut things.
"Here I'll do it. How many kills you skin and gut in your life?" Daryl asks while pulling out a large hunting knife. Julia's eyes linger on the weapon and she noticeably puts some space between her and Daryl making Rick stare at her softly.
"Anyway mine is sharper." Daryl notes as he too noticed Julia move away but he ignored it knowing finding this girl was a priority right now. Plus-.... He had an idea why she moved away as his thoughts lingered on her back.
Daryl stabs the Walker aggressively as his mind had still been on Julia's scar that said whore. Rick seemed to look at him funny too wondering if that was actually a necessary step, to stab the skin so harsh.
Julia seemed to jump as the knife forcibly went into the skin. Her eyes glazed over as her mind went elsewhere....
⚠️TW BODILY HARM CLOSER TO SUICIDE, TORTURE. MENTIONS OF SEPF INFLICTED PAIN, AND ABORTION⚠️
It was Julia's wedding day, she stood in the church taking pictures for a wedding album with her bridesmaids. The ceremony hadn't started yet and Julia felt sick to her stomach,
"I uh- I need to use the restroom." Julia excuses herself and rushes to the small bathroom locking the door as she approaches a porcelain sink and looks up into the mirror. Her breathing was growing frantic at nothing particular as she tried to catch her breath.
At 16 years old she had dark bags under her eyes, her skin abnormally pale.
"I can't do this. I can't do this. I CANT-!" Julia smashes her fist into the mirror and it shatters into pieces on the floor making Julia stare in shock at first. But then her grandmothers words about raising the baby how she should have been played in her mind. All of the old pastors touches since she was 13 years old played in her mind.
She felt filthy.
Looking up in what was left of the mirror she saw fragmented versions of herself in the glass.
Slowly bending down Julia grabs the largest shard of glass and holds it tight enough in her hand it cuts her palm and fingers. Looking up once more in the fragmented mirror Julia takes a deep breath. "God..... may you forgive me." Juli whispers as she takes the glass and feeling in-pales her stomach.
A blood curdling scream leaves her not due to the pain..... but due to her adrenaline as she then moves the glass a bit to the side trying to hit an organ. Trying to die quick.
Her scream alerted others and bangs could be heard on the other side of the door. Julia cried harder and harder as she finally pulled the glass out. Blood stained her white wedding dress quickly, her hands cradling her stomach as she falls to the ground laying her back feeling faint.
"I'm sorry- I'm so sorry." She whimpers as she holds her bleeding stomach and the bathroom light seemed to grow brighter.
For a moment Julia believed to have made it heaven.
Then the light dimmed and blackness clouded her vicious and conscious, in that moment Julia knew she was being banished to hell. Being told your a sinner all your life you don't expect anything less. But- for one fleeting moment Julia had truly believed that she was being accepted despite everyone's warnings.
As her eyes peeled open- Julia saw something far worse then pits of fire and Satan sitting on a throne.
It was a nurse trying to save her, Julia began thrashing begging to die but the nurse and doctors kept profusely telling her no.
In that moment Julia prayed and asked them for at least one thing. All the times she prayed to god she hoped this was the one he listened to. "Please- my baby." Julia barely gets out when the nurse says it would be fine that she had missed the spot by an inch.
"No- kill it. Don't let them-..... don't they hurt my baby please. I don't want it. They'll hurt it please." Julia whispers in pain and the staff look amongst each other. They had heard of the local 'religious' cult.
The girl was barely 16 and came in wearing a wedding dress and was pregnant. They already tried to call the police but they didn't like getting involved in the violent cult and said to leave it be.
"Please." Julia begs one more time before she was unconscious again. Julia woke up to the wailing of her grandmother in the hallway. Her eyes burned at the hospitals bright light and- the sterile smell burned her nose.
Julia's grandmother rushed in the room in a fit of rage the nurses holding her back as a young and frail Julia stared wide eyed unsure what she had done to cause such a reaction.
"YOU MURDERER! MURDERER! I KNEW YOH WERE AN UNGRATEFUL SINNER!" The old woman screams as security drags her from the room.
Julia slowly stared at the ceiling a grateful smile coming to her face as she mumbled a thank you to god.
It was the only prayer of hers that he had answered.
⚠️SAFE FROM HERE⚠️
As the quick reminder wen through Julia's head her hand lingered on her stomach. The men just thought she was squirming due to the fact Daryl was now digging his gloved hands inside the Walkers dead body.
Julia's face scrunched up more as the walkers blood was black and it's organs were dark as a sign they were truly dead. The blood also looked chunky making Julia want to gag but she remained stoic with just a scrunched nose.
She almost looked more annoyed then grossed out.
Rick looked ready to barf making Julia snicker to try and cover that she too was grossed out by the scene. It didn't help the aroma that began wafting off the Walker making Julia suppress a gag.
Rick put a hand to his mouth and glanced to Julia to see her face looked mostly neutral. He couldn't help but wonder how she was completely unaffected by this. If only he knew she wasn't physically unwell by it only mentally.
Julia's thoughts kept going to what she must have stabbed when she had done what she did. Her hand rubbing her stomach harsher as she bit her tongue to not gag.
Daryl didn't seem even the tiniest bit affected, probably thinking of it as an animal he's killed rather then what used to be a person.
"Yeah, Hoss had a big meal not long ago. I feel it in there." Daryl says while pulling the stomach out harshly, it looked like a giant sack. As he had pulled on it black blood had splattered from it landing on Julia pale blue tank top making her face scowl.
"Here's the gut bag." Daryl says while placing it on the ground Rick grabs his smaller knife. "I got this." He stares clearly trying to help with the fucked up situation as Julia glares at Daryl for getting blood on her shirt.
They dig through the bag and there's more black chunks making Julia groan and gag. Finally as Daryl and Rick looked ready to barf too. Finally they pull out a woodchucks skull making Julia snort and look away.
"This gross bastard had himself a woodchuck for lunch." Daryl says before throwing the skull. "Yeah meaning you ruined my favorite shirt for nothing." Julia spat standing up and walking away to get some fresh air.
"At least we know." Rick called after Julia as Daryl repeated it slowly walking up to her and staring at his arrow expectedly.
"You get this back when deem worthy," Julia smirks walking away as he huffs staring after her in disbelief. Rick smiles watching the pair but he sighs looking around again for Sophia.
Where could she be?
___________________________________
The trail slowly died out and the sun was beginning to set, Daryl and Julia looked to each other knowing it was time to call it but- Rick kept walking and calling Sophia's name.
"Rick." Julia states stoically rooting herself in place not wanting them to go too far in the woods getting lost at night. The cop stops since this was the first she spoke in hours but he regretted it when he saw the look she was giving him.
"No." He states walking five feet before Daryl sighs and shakes his head. "Trails gone. It's getting dark. We don't want them comin lookin for us in the dark." Daryl calmly says in his usual gravely voice making Rick stop and rest his hands on his hips.
His rigid back is to the pair as Rick drops his head down and takes a shaky breath. How was he supposed to face Carol after losing her kid?
"Okay..... we pick it up first thing in the morning. Get a larger group together." He instructs before following Daryl back to camp they'd gone far so it would take awhile.
Julia's arms were crossed as she huffed to herself, Rick walking alongside her glances to see why she's upset.
She still has Daryl's arrow tied to her belt loop by a flimsy piece of rope that Julia had in her bag.
"Julia- if I'm doing something that's upsetting you I don't mean to." Rick sighs softly as the girl shakes her head keeping her gaze forward to not lose sight of Daryl.
"You do mean to though. All of you men are the fucking same." She hisses bitterly as he shakes his head. "Tell me what I'm doing then and I'll stop. Look Julia I appreciate your help and wanting to help us search that didn't go unnoticed." He says thinking it's the fact she felt unappreciated which was kind of true but not about staying to help.
Julia scoffs and rolls her eyes before staring at Rick beside her looking clueless to her harsh gaze and words.
"You know just because I'm a woman doesn't mean I don't say smart shit too. You men- it's always the who's dick is bigger game around her and everywhere with you. You basically reiterate everything I say to make it sound like your dumbass ideas. Figured you'd know how annoying that feels when Shane does it to you all the time." Julia sighs shaking her head as her feet walk faster due to her annoyance.
But Rick is hot on her trail still looking confused by her meaning.
"Julia- I don't understand I didn't.... I didn't do that to you." He states confidently as the woman rounds him making him nearly walk into her as she points an aggressive finger in his chest.
"I'm the one who hinted he had a recent meal and you still felt the need to say it. God every time I feel like I contribute to this group one of you dick swingers feel the need to steal my thunder or something. Don't even get me started on the Shane Walsh haters club or the fact you all treat me like I'm Rayas surrogate mother just because I have tits and a vagina. The reason I hate you men is because your all predictable in thinking you know what's best. I know what's best too." Julia spat as Daryl slowly noticed the two were not following him and stopped to look back and see Julia standing eye to eye with Rick.
Her arms were crossed and she looked livid so he slowly began inching forward just in case she lost it. He couldn't come back with Rick also missing or people really would start to panic.
"Julia- I'm sorry if I've ever made you feel that way. I swear I was just agreeing with you, I swear on carl and loris lives. As for Shane you guys- you'll get over the beef from the CDC okay? Whatever happened it'll pass. And as for Raya- she trusts you and that's the only reason I've been pushing for you guys to stay close. I know you are a very capable woman Julia- I can tell you've went through some shit yet your still standin here with me. Your a fighter, I know that and respect it." He says in a calm knowing voice as Julia just stares at him with a clenched jaw.
In that moment she hated herself.... Because she trusted a man full heartedly in that moment. Rick seemed to be one of the few good men left in the world and Julia hated that.
Because men she trusted tended to hurt her.
Without saying anything else Julia spin around and walked ahead of Rick no longer wanting to walk next to him. She looked deep in thought as she now walked directly behind Daryl who kept glancing at her but she ignored it.
When they got to the highway Carol was still standing where they had left her making Julia wince and storm past her as Rick stopped to talk.
"You didn't find her?" She could hear Carol asking close to tears as Julia kept walking until she was leaned up against the Rv tire with her word clutched in her hand.
Rick and Daryl did damage control as Raya listened with tears in her eyes how Sophia was still missing in the woods. Her little lip trembled and her eyes slowly went to Julia sensing a dark energy coming off her as she glared at the group from a distance away.
Carol kept crying as others gave her comfort she was obviously mad at Rick and he gave her space.
When Lori finally left carols side it was to come stand before Julia looking unsure of herself. It didn't help Julia was playing with one of Daryl's arrows by spinning the stick in her hand.
"You can't just leave like that." She states as a fact making Julia's brows pinch and for her to slowly look up at Lori like she had three heads. "Excuse me?" Julia asks in disbelieving yet cold voice as Lori flinched but places her hands on her hips to appear unafraid.
"Raya you can't be leaving her unattended for that long." Lori explains calmly while Julia laughs darkly and stands up to be eye level with Lori.
"First of all she is not my kid, as I've been telling every last one of you fuckers. And secondly- Lori if I wanted motherly advice you'd be the last one quite literally I would go to in this world for it. And lastly.... Don't ever tell 'me what the fuck to do. Your not my boss, your not my grandmother, and your certainly not my friend." Julia spat while pointing the arrow to loris chest, sharp end first.
It made the older woman swallow harshly but shake her head. "Julia- you helped me at the CDC I know your not as cold as you pretend to be. You- you care. And I know you care for Raya like she cares for you." Lori tries to say it in a strong voice but it comes out wobbly and fear filled. She had good reason to be scared.
"Just because I saved you from a man doesn't make us fucking besties Lori, okay? I saved you because that's something I could never live with myself for. Not because it was you or really anyone specific I just did it- because men don't deserve to take what they think they are owed. And as for Raya- she's not my goddamn kid so quit treating her as such. Adopt her, be a good mother and adopt the orphan girl as your own rather then being an uptight bitch complaining about what everyone else is doing. While your what? Watching your son and sitting on your ass all day? Or better yet why not go tell your husband what a piece of shit wife you are because you fucked his best friend not even 24 hours after hearing he was dead. Don't judge me Lori when you have your own goddamn problems to be dealing with." Julia whispers harshly before storming past Lori and weaving through cars until she found one and sat inside it closing the door loudly as it slammed.
The camp looked between Lori and Julia unsure what they were fighting about but they didn't want to get involved either. And yes maybe Julia was taking her frustrations out on Lori but- they were not friends.
That she had been right about.