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Ok y/n
Time to face reality
Before he could say anything I started mouth vomiting nervously "I'm really sorry for... what I did. I should have never done it and I understand if you hate me or won't forgive me because it might have been your first kiss and then I just took that from you which is really bad but even if it wasn't your first kiss that's still bad because I shouldn't have kissed you without you wanting me too but like obviously your not going to want me to because we're just... friends"
"Y/n, calm down" Tsukishima said as he came closer to me and I took a deep breath "I'm not mad," he said and I looked up at him surprised
"You're not?" I said shocked and he shook his head "But why?" I asked confused and his cheeks went a little pink
"Do you regret it?" He asked and I looked at him nervously
I've regretted it for weeks but... that was only because I thought I had done something bad and something that made him mad. Now that I know he wasn't mad... I didn't feel regret.
As I was about to say no, I stopped myself. I remembered that he likes Yachi, something that I had forgotten because I had been so wrapped up in me and Tsukishima. When I saw him talking to Yachi I was reminded that she is the one he wants
"Well... yeah, we're friends. Friends don't kiss, it was a mistake," I said as I looked down to the ground and stepped away from him slightly
He didn't say anything for a few seconds and I looked up at him curiously, he looked away as he rubbed the back of his neck "Yeah, your right"
"Well, I'm glad you're not mad but why were you avoiding me then?" I asked confused. He looked at me and I convinced myself to keep eye contact with him
"Y/n... I never avoided you, you were the one avoiding me because you are in your head too much," he said as he laughed and poked my forehead
"Oh," I said and then groaned "IM SO STUPID! I THOUGHT THIS WHOLE TIME- but I was kind of right because you didn't want me to kiss you," I said as I went threw a few emotions
"I didn't not want you to," he said nervously and I looked at him confused
"So you did want me to?" I asked as I tried to hide a smile
What am I saying?
Stop Y/n
"No- well- Y/n let's just... forget about it, ok?" He said and I nodded my head
"Ok, but I'm still sorry," I said as I sat down on some steps outside a random gym that wasn't in use. He sat down next to me as he laughed
"Like you said, it was a mistake. Forget about it," he said and I nodded my head
"I can't believe we haven't talked to each other for weeks because we both thought we were avoiding each other," I sighed frustrated
"We really need to work on our communication," he said and I looked at him shocked and then smiled
"That's such an... open and mature thing for you to say," I said and he glared at me
"I'm mature!" He said and I looked about wondering if he was joking
"Uh ok," I said and then there was an awkward silence "Why is this... awkward? We aren't awkward with each other! WHAT'S HAPPENING TO US?!" I said as I started to freak out and he just smiled at me.
The way he smiled at me confused me because it wasn't a laughing smile or a "trying to pretend this isn't awkward smile" he looked at me and smiled like he was just... glad. I'm not sure what he was so glad about, but it made me feel silly for thinking their was awkwardness between us.
"Well just... talk," he said and I looked at him confused until I thought about what we could talk about
"Yknow something that I find really interesting and cool?" I said and he looked at me curiously "The fact that the majority of us feel the same way when we like someone. Your heart beats fast and your palms get sweaty and your mind starts racing while going blank at the same time, all you can hear is your heart... It's like, the only thing that is the same for all humans, the only thing that we all agree on and relate to, is the feeling of... liking someone," I said and Tsukishima smiled a little
"Still don't believe in love?" Tsukishima asked and I looked at him confused "You said 'liking someone' instead of saying love, I was just wondering if you still don't believe love is real," he said and I sighed
"It's not that I don't believe in it... it's just that I don't think it's what it's like in the movies, it just seems too good to be true," I said as I looked down at my legs that were straight
"Well for me it's more like a bubble is created and in that bubble it's just us and no one else exists or matters," he said and I tried my best to smile
"Well that's when you're content with that person and not anxious," I said and he widened his eyes in a realising way "Is... that what it's like when you're with Yachi?" I asked and he got nervous
"Yeah," he said as he looked at the ground, I felt my stomach drop but tried to ignore it
Why do I feel so sick?
"Who knew you were so romantic," I laughed and he looked at me with a straight face "You should tell Yachi your bubble thing, it's cute," I said with a smile and he looked away
"No," he said embarrassed and I giggled
"Ok don't tell her the bubble thing then, but what are you going to tell her when you confess?" I asked curiously
"I'm not going to," he said and I looked at him confused
"What do you mean?" I asked and he avoided eye contact
"I'm not going to tell her or "confess" I just think it was more in my head than a reality," he said and I scrunched my eyebrows together
"But you were talking to her and she looked quite nervous so it can't be just in your head," I said as I crossed my arms
"We're friends and Yachi is always nervous," he said as he finally looked at me
"Not when she's around people she knows. If you like her you should tell her," I said as I snapped a little at him and he got defensive
"Why do you want me to tell her so much?" He asked a little angry and I looked away
"I just want you to be happy and not regret anything," I said sadly and he sighed
"I know that isn't about me," he said and I looked at him surprised
"But I mean it, I do want-" I said until he cut me off "I know you mean it but I know you're talking about yourself and Kageyama," he said softly
I looked away and hugged my knees as I sighed
"I just-... I just think about things I could have done differently, which is stupid I know, but I can't help it," I said and he fidgeted like he wanted to do something but stopped himself "Well it doesn't matter now," I said as I sat up straight and looked at him with a smile "Just... don't be like me," I said and he slowly nodded his head
"You sound so... wise," he said grossed out and I laughed
"I'm just more experienced than you," I said with a grin and he evil-eyed me
"No you aren't!"
"Ok, so that wasn't your first kiss then?" I asked smiling and he looked around nervously
"For your information... it wasn't," he said as he crossed his arms and I looked at him shocked
"Who was your first kiss then?!" I asked curiously
"It was just this random girl I was friends with when I was younger," he said as he looked away
"You don't even remember who she was?" I asked with a raised eyebrow
"Don't judge me when your first kiss was Oikawa!" He said and I gasped
"Low blow! Low blow! Wow!" I said with wide eyes and he laughed a little "Wait a second! You should be practising right now!" I said panicked as I stood up and he groaned as he leaned back on his hands
"I'm so sick of runningggggg" he whined and I rolled my eyes
"Then actually put effort into your blocks," I said as I crossed my arms and he looked at me with wide eyes
"Low blow!" He said and I laughed as I kicked his leg lightly telling him to stand up
He stood up slowly while groaning "We're gonna get in so much trouble!" I said panicking
"No we won't, we'll just make up an excuse," he said while shrugging and walking to the corner, I grabbed his arm lightly to stop him
"We need to be prepared!" I said and he sighed
"We could say... you fell over?" he asked as he looked down at me wondering what I thought about it
"Do I look like I've fallen over?!" I asked as I pointed at my knees to show there were no scratches
"Hmm that's true..." he said as he made his thinking face while looking me up and down "Just shove some tissues in your nose and say you had a nosebleed"
"Why can't we say you're the one with the nosebleed?!" I asked offended and he rolled his eyes
"No one would believe that I would be stupid enough to get a nosebleed," he said and I made my mad face at him before huffing
"Fine!" I said as I turned around and started walking to the bathrooms with him following behind me
We were walking down a hallway when I heard someone. I stopped immediately and Tsukishima banged into me "Hey-" he began before I put my hand over his mouth
"I hear someone, we can't be seen yet," I whispered to him and he grabbed my wrist lightly as he lowered my hand off his face
"We're going to have to run, there's nowhere to hide," he whispered and my face drained at the word "run". His hand snaked down from my wrist into my hand as he took it and started running, pulling me forward since I was slower than him
"Are you even running?!" He whisper shouted as he looked down at me annoyed
"Yes, I'm running! You see my legs moving don't you?" I whisper yelled back as we turned a corner
"Barely," he rolled his eyes and stopped running since we were far enough away from the people
Just as we thought we were safe, we saw Takeda come out of the gym. Luckily, he was looking down at a piece of paper so he hadn't noticed us yet
I looked up at Kei in panic and he looked down at me in panic before quietly opening a door and pushing me in
"We're in..." I trailed off looking around the place "The bathrooms! Perfect!" I said running up to the hand tissues dispenser
"Ok now stick the tissues up your nose so we can get out of here before they start a search party for us," he said walking over to me and I handed him the tissues
"I can't shove them up my nose, it's too scary! What if I shove it too far up and it touches my brain? Or gets stuck?!" I freaked out and he looked down at me with the most confused look on his face
"I seriously wonder if you're on drugs every day," he said as he slowly took the tissues from me and twirled it together so that it would fit in my nose
He came close to me with the tissues and I started backing away scared "Stop being stupid Y/n," he said as he cornered me
"Get away demon!" I shouted and he got into attack mode as I tried to run. He grabbed my shoulders and turned me around as he pulled my back into him, keeping me in place as he put the tissues near my face and I was wriggling about keeping my face away
"Stop... it... Y/n," he said as he grabbed the side of my face and managed to put the tissues in my nose. After he did he backed away from me scared and we both breathed heavily from the wrestling
"Ok! Let's go out now," I said happily as I acted like nothing happened. Tsukishima just looked at me in disbelief that I could act so normal after basically attacking him
"You are such a strange person," he mumbled following me out the bathroom
We walked into the gym that was being used and Coach Ukai looked at us madly
"Where have you guys been?!" He asked frustrated
"Y/n had a nose bleed and I went to help her" Tsukishima said and I stood next to him nodding my head with a big smile
"That took you an hour?" He questioned with a raised eyebrow and Tsukishima looked down at me scared
"I don't like blood!" I said and Coach Ukai just sighed
"This is serious, especially for you Tsukishima! You guys are here to train not kiss," Coach Ukai said and then walked away. Me and Tsukishima faced each other, I had my mouth wide from shock and he was embarrassed and angry
"You told him!" He said and I panicked
"I didn't mean to! It just kinda came out," I said nervously
"You need to get your word vomiting under control!"
"I know! It's a major problem! I told a period joke again today!" I said and he sighed
After more practising and running the day was finally over and it was dinner time! I sat with the team and tried to avoid Bokuto's eyes. When everyone was done with dinner they practised some more, I was exhausted from just watching them practice so much.
When it got quite late the majority of people started packing up to go to bed, Tsukishima and me included. But before we could leave the gym, Bokuto came up to Tsukishima
"Hey skinny! You want to help us out with our spikes again today?" he asked Tsukishima and I looked up at Tsukishima curiously
"I'm sorry, but I'm gonna pass," Tsukishima said as he began walking away. Me and Bokuto both stared confused at Tsukishima walking away until Bokuto noticed me, he looked at me with a big smile and then his face dropped
"Wait a second... IS HE THE GUY KUROO WAS TALKING ABOUT? IS HE YOUR BOYFRIEND?" Bokuto shouted surprised and Tsukishima stopped in his place as he turned around confused
"No! I told you I don't have one!" I said to Bokuto panicking as I looked around the gym to make sure no one heard him
"Oh yeah... he just weirdly matches Kuroo's description. Well, why don't you come and help us then? Or watch if you're too tired," he asked smiling and I evil-eyed him
"Not if you're there," I said and I heard someone laugh from beside me
I looked up confused and saw Tsukishima "What a not-like-Y/n thing to say," Tsukishima said through laughs
"When it comes to him it is!" I said as I went behind Tsukishima so that there would be a wall between me and Bokuto
"It's ok Y/n, we'll have the best enemies to lovers," he said seriously and I looked out from behind Tsukishima scared
"In your dreams!" I said and Tsukishima looked down at me shocked
"You don't like him?" Tsukishima asked and I shook my head
"But you guys are so... similar," Tsukishima said confused and I looked up at him offended
"That's exactly what I said!" Kuroo said appearing out of nowhere
"We are nothing alike!" Me and Bokuto said at the same time and then he smiled at me and I glared at him
"Y/n you like everyone... it's so weird you dislike someone," Tsukishima said shocked and I crossed my arms
"I don't like EVERYONE," I said looking up at Tsukishima and then to Bokuto to show that it was him I disliked, Bokuto smiled happily
"I feel so special and unique," he said and I looked at him disgusted
"We're out of here," I said pushing Tsukishima towards the doors
"Bye Kuroo!" I shouted as I turned around slightly with a smile to wave at him
"Bye Y/n" he waved back
"I miss you already!" I heard Bokuto shout and I shivered in disgust
Me and Tsukishima were walking to the dorms quietly as Tsukishima was still in shock
"Why did you not block with Bokuto?" I asked him curiously and he looked down at me with an expression that said "Seriously?"
"Do you really think I'd practice with them?" He asked and I thought about it
"Hmmm, I do actually. Which is weird because Bokuto"
"The answer is no," he said as he looked away from me
"You practiced with them yesterday though?" I said confused
"I was forced too" he sighed
"Do you think that if you weren't so tall you'd still be a regular on the team?" I asked him curiously and he looked down at me quickly before looking forward again
"Probably not," he said and I looked up at him sadly
"Does that not bother you?" I asked him nervously
He took a few minutes to respond "It is what it is" he shrugged
"But that's not what it is, your making it what it is," I said crossing my arms
"Well that's a confusing sentence," he said and I looked up at him waiting for him to say more "It's just useless to go over the limit of what is necessary"
"Not if you get rewarded," I said and he looked down at me as he sighed
"But what is the reward? Winning? Winning until you can't win anymore because this is just a Highschool volleyball club," he said seriously
"But it's not just a Highschool volleyball club," I said and he looked down at me softly, trying to not be harsh
"But it is. It doesn't make us rich or successful, unless you're extremely good and it doesn't help us get into college... it amounts to nothing," he said calmly
"Then why do it?" I asked him and he thought a little
"I don't know," he said quietly and I looked up at him sadly
"You need to figure that out," I said and before he could say anything my phone started ringing. I got my phone out my pocket and looked down at it confused
Iwaizumi?
Why is he calling me?
I answered the phone and Iwaizumi started speaking to me in an angry tone "Y/n what have you said to Oikawa? These guys dropped him off outside my house almost dead because he was asking people to fight him. All he is talking about is you and crying. I can't even take him to the hospital because he's drunk and high"
I felt myself begin to shake from guilt as a cold sweat ran down my back, I had caused this.
I shouldn't have said what I said to him
I went too far
I got him hurt
I shouldn't have gotten so distracted and called him back immediately to apologise
I forgot all about him
"Y/n?" Iwaizumi said wondering if I was on the phone
"Listen Iwaizumi, I told him we can't be friends a few months ago because... yknow, and he won't stop calling and texting me, a few nights ago he even came to my house. Today he called me again and I- I snapped and told him to leave me alone," I said and Iwaizumi only got angrier
"His mom almost died today because of an overdose, he was calling you so that he could talk to someone," Iwaizumi said and I felt all the air leave my lungs. My lip started to tremble as a tear fell down my cheek, I was so guilty that I couldn't fully comprehend what he said
"What?" I barely whispered
"Y/n how could you leave him in the first place?! You know he is struggling and you just decided to not be friends with him? Abandon him? That's not what a friend does! Oikawa would never in a million years do that to you," Iwaizumi said and I went numb at his words
"I- I thought I was doing the right thing for him, I was hurting him by being his friend," I said and I heard Iwaizumi sigh
"He has had no one for months... I thought he wasn't speaking to me because he was with you but no, he has been completely... alone" Iwaizumi said sadly, his voice filled with guilt
"Iwa..." was all I could say
"No, don't you dare call me that, we are not friends," he said angrily and I started crying more
"I'm sorry" I managed to say
"No, don't apologise to me, I'm not the one you abandoned," he said and then hung up. I stood still frozen, tears streaming down my face. Tsukishima stared down at me concerned, unsure of what he should do, I couldn't move or breathe. I felt... no words can even describe how bad I felt. Iwaizumi was right, I had abandoned him. I had left him to drown because I was scared of drowning even though I was on the surface. He was completely alone and I let it happen
As I felt my legs start to give way on me Tsukishima pulled me into him as he hugged me tightly. I grabbed onto his shirt as I started crying in his arms, he stood still not saying anything as he slowly rubbed circles on my back
"What have I... done?" I said through sobs and he just pulled me closer "I need to call Oikawa," I said, barely managing to convince myself to leave the safety of Tsukishima's arms
I looked down at my phone through blurry eyes as I found Oikawa's contact, I rang him and it didn't even go through to two rings as my call was declined almost instantly
Toe 🦶🏻
Y/n
Oikawa, I'm so sorry for what I said, I'm so sorry for not being there for you and abandoning you, I'm sorry for everything, I thought I was doing the right thing. I hope you can let me be there for you and I hope you and your mom are okay
I'm so sorry
Toe 🦶🏻
Don't talk to me.
I stared down at my phone in shock
Don't talk to me
Well done Y/n
Look what you've done now
You are a terrible friend
I know
"Don't talk to me" I muttered as I read his text over and over again "What do I do?" I asked as I looked up to Tsukishima with hope and he stared down at me lost, helpless.
He started to wipe the tears away from my face gently as he looked down at me with sadness before speaking "Look I could tell you that I think Iwaizumi is way out of line and you done nothing wrong except look out for yourself which is completely ok, but I know that's not what you want to hear"
"Firstly, you need to calm down, you can't go around freaking out because someone will ask you what is wrong and you could tell them about Oikawa being drunk and we don't want him to get in trouble. Secondly, you need to forget about it for the time being, there's nothing you can do at the moment. When we leave Tokyo and this stupid training camp you can go and see Oikawa but for now, you need to act like nothing is going on. Thirdly you need to give him space for the moment," Tsukishima said and I took a deep breath as I thought about what he said
"I don't know if I can act like everything is okay," I said sadly as I looked up at him and he just stared down at me wondering what to do
"You need to. Stop worrying for now, Iwaizumi is taking care of him, he's okay. If you sit in guilt over it that is not going to help anything because he needs space to think, so for the time being you can't do anything until he wants to speak to you" Tsukishima said and I nodded my head slowly
Tsukishima started walking to the rooms and I followed behind him slowly "I feel terrible"
"Again I'm not going to tell you my personal opinion on it because I know you don't want it at the moment but trust me — don't feel so bad" Tsukishima said and I just stared down blankly
After a few minutes of walking, I looked up at the back of Tsukishima's head with thankful eyes. "I'm glad that I have you Kei" he didn't say anything or even turn around he just patted my head softly. Even though I felt so guilty, his action made me feel not so — alone. I felt like I was a bad person but his action made me feel like I couldn't be a bad person because a bad person wouldn't have someone like Tsukishima. And although I probably didn't deserve it, I felt some comfort from his action.
.·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙ ✩ *̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .
If you hate the miscommunication trope then press the star ⭐️ down below 😊💛