Acacia Point of View
Calm down! It was all in the past.
Calm down, he did not go through with those lame ideas.
I cannot and should not take those past accounts into consideration to settle the score. This is a discussion started with the reason to better the situation and possible relationships.
"You really knew how to be snobby." I scoffed mockingly. The look of guilt and disappointment on his face softened a tiny bit of my heart. Not wanting to ruin the grand official talk we are having, I took the initiative to bring the discussion back on track.
"With you being so mighty and all, why did you agree to send me to a place far from the capital city with Igses?" Although a part of the reason was my stubbornness at that time, I was still a normal human being with no money and power.
If he wanted to, he could've just not agreed to my conditions to go Oudad. Thinking back, although there was a little argument between both of us, he indeed agreed to the conditions pretty soon and gladly.
"I didn't want to send you as well. It was a huge dent on my ego that neither my aura was working on you nor are you scared of me. You were a mortal but much more strong in heart. There were two reasons; one, I knew if I did not accept your conditions, you would do something drastic. You have no magical powers but you have some kind of invisible power over us which might be because your existence is rather special."
Hey, is he trying to soothe my heart?
Ahem, although I think he meant every word, the way he indirectly described me as a valiant person made me feel good.
At least he learnt how to use words correctly at right times after coming here.
"And the second reason?"
"I didn't want to expose you and Igses to those mutated people. If the curse was broken, it meant the curse on Vizac and his people, was broken as well. Sooner or later, they would infiltrate to lay a hand on you and Igses. So keeping you in the capital city in the royal castle was like putting an LED light on the target while the shooter was still in the dark. Sending you and Igses to Oudad without much fanfare was to buy some time before I make arrangements to settle the issue once and for all."
Really?
I did not show it on my face but I'm actually quite surprised by the sudden realization. He really agreed to stay away from his son just so he could take off the focus from us?
I really don't want to believe it but one look into his sharp eyes; I can tell he was telling the truth.
Damien was right. Although this man is despicable, he still has scope to be taught.
But then again, something went off in my mind and I remember the scene which prevented me to forgive him completely.
"If you were so concerned about me and Igses, why did you use both of us as baits to reach Vizac? You know, that was one thing that I can never forget or forgive about."
Hearing my words, Jerk shook his head continuous and heaved heavily. He took a minute time before he answered.
"That was indeed my mistake and it was intentional, I accept it openly." He did not meet my eyes and looked down and rubbed his face with both his hands.
"That was my own intentional decision and I will not sugarcoat it and say that my actions had deeper and more profound meaning. At that time, even though I was much more powerful than Vizac and my father, It was a situation that I couldn't pull out all of their spies. I wanted to strike all at once and leave none of them behind. I was planning to make a big move but Vizac people already found out about you and Igses along with your location. I could've taken a safer way to eliminate them but that way would not eliminate them completely from roots. So I could only use their plot to get to you to my advantage and play it as if they got you first and I was going crazy to find you."
"But I was able to do it because I was confident that nothing would happen to you or Igses. I had my people around you to keep an eye on you and protect you. Vizac would be a fool if he did something to you or Igses given you both are the key to their freedom and strength as well." He continued.
Moving a little forward, he held my hands in his and squeezed them a little. When I looked at him, he was already staring at me with mix of emotions.
"Trust me, Eblilis; my method may be wrong, my execution may be wrong, my decisions may be wrong but my intentions were never wrong. You are the person who was made for me and my kingdom, the other is my own son. That was my blood and flesh, how could I push you both into pit to die? I may not be a husband of the year or father of the century but I knew my limits. I had firsthand experience with how cruel my father was, I never wanted to be a father like my father to my son. I was born and raised to be an existence that others can only worship but could never fathom to reach. I never answered myself to others so giving you any kind of clarification, at that time, was beneath me. I am stubborn by nature and having everything go as per my wishes all my life, a little unexpected change like you pushed me into chaos."
"You were not in tune with my decision, you never accepted my arrangements, you never did what was told to; you basically challenged my authority every minute in my own kingdom. The more you challenged me, the more I wanted to tame you but surprisingly, I also did not want to change you. It was a chaos in my heart at that time. Your personality was something that both frustrated me as well as attracted me."
I listened to him calmly. As I listened to him, I can feel moist around the corner of my eyes and I'm sure that my eyes were red by now even though tears did not fall.
He confessed that he baited me and Igses intentionally, then why do I suddenly not feel as angry as before?
I – feel relieved. His confession somehow lifted a huge rock from my heart. It cleared a shadow that has been there for a long time, the shadow that caused my heart to be in constant fear of unknown.
I should be angrier, now that he accepted his misdeed, right?
I should hate him, I should slap him!
But why do I feel so light and relieved?
"Eblilis, I told you why I always call you by that name, right? You are really important to me and my people. I've done many bad things, I've hurt you, I know I should not be forgiven. And you are right in your place to not forgive me. However, I will try my best to make amendments. It might take a day, a year or a century for you to forget and forgive me but I will try relentlessly and hand on my heart, I have never blamed you for being the way you are. The dynamics of our relationship has always been different and to be honest, there were sparks of love for you in my heart before but I realized love is something that should be cultivated together. In the past, you were a convenient prospect to me and I took you for granted so the sparks of love I felt for you at that time were not right. Even though I love you for all the proper reasons now, I have no right to expect anything from you."
"All I ask for is to be in the same family with you and Igses. That was enough!"
God what happened to him?
Why is this Jerk being so emotional today?
He is also making me extremely emotional.
The tears that I held back started fall. I lightly squeezed the hands that were holding mine and looked at him with tears blurring my eyes.
His words truly touched my heart. He did not indeed sugarcoat it and when he criticized himself or accepted his mistake, I can feel his sincerity.
He has changed!
Not much but he has changed for better.
"Why didn't you marry me when you had a chance back then after Igses was born?" Trying to control the flow of my emotions, I asked one final question.
He kept wiping my tears and when he heard me, he was puzzled when he answered. "You didn't want to and you were quite firm in your decision."
That brief reply emptied the little bit of discomfort from my heart.
Back then, he told his people that I was their queen but he did not force marriage on me. Thinking about it now, I am grateful for his decision.
Jerk wiped away another stream of tears and continued to mummer sorrys'. I don't know if it was because I was feeling good now or it was because of his chants of sorrys', i cried harder.
Earlier, I did not want to interrupt him so I tried to contain my emotions. Now that I feel a sense of release, I cried hard for several reason.
I am happy, sad, confused and much more all at the same time.
Yet, I was more grateful to him and myself for having this discussion.
"Please don't cry, Eblilis. I'm sorry I did this to you. Why don't you slap me? If it will calm you down, then just slap me. Please, don't cry. I promise I will not –"
"I'm sorry." I breathed out, not letting him finish his sentence.
"What?"
"I'm sorry. I – You were in the wrong in the first place and everything happened because you were not up for communicating with me. But, there were times, may it be in the past or may it be here in this world, the way I handled things were not right as well. There were times and things that I should've taken them lightly and let me be rather than making a mountain out of nothing. You suffered too and I was not mindful of it. For that, I'm sorry."
A mask of disbelief came over and Jerk went still. His gaze landed on me, staring at me seriously with plethora of emotions playing on his usual non-expressive face.
"Eblilis –"
"Jerk, why don't we stop doing anything that will make us hate each other? Why don't we stop hating each other for the past events and let it go? What do you say?" I spoke softly, finally letting all the bad feelings in my heart go.
"You – do you mean it?" I felt his hands, which were hold mine, shake a little. His eyes were filled with hope and affection as he looked at me.
" I'm not easy to please, it is not easy for me to have an idea of marrying you, it is hard for me have feelings of love. Jerk, you will have a hard time. Try if you could sow the seed of love in my heart for you and cultivate it together."
Wiping away my tears, I gave him a stern and determined stare and when I saw him completely frozen and speechless.
Satisfied, I walked out of my study without waiting for his response.
Jerk, I really hope you can make me love you.
~*~*~*~*~*~
Hello Sweeties,
Next chapter is here. Enjoy!
What do you think about the chapter? Good?
Finally the sand has settled. Finally!
Tzalmon is so cool in this chapter, right?
He accepted his faults like a real man. You agree?
Acacia too apologized for whatever she has done as well.
So everything will now start a fresh. Yay!
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Lady Prim