Chapter 2
"GET OUT"
His shoulder was held stiff. His lips pressed together tight and his eyes were hooded by the half-closed lid.
Advay Singh Rajput isn't known to be a violent man, but I know if I had stayed there one more minute, he wouldn't have hesitated to personally kick me out of his office.
No one likes to be fooled, especially someone like Advay who has always been lauded for his sharp wit. Throughout my rehearsed monologue confessing two years' worth of sham, I kept my eyes glued to his right arm placed on the table. The transformation from the way his hands lay sprawled on the table fiddling with the edge of the paper to the way it curled around the same paper so strongly that his own nails might have bruised his palm was the only indication of his shifting mood.
When I completed with an untimely huff escaping my lips, I lifted my eyes to meet him and that huff immediately turned into a loud gasp.
The way he looked at me will forever be etched in my mind.
Betrayed lover's fury was what I was prepared for, but what I saw in his eyes was not merely raw anger. It was something more primitive than that. It was like he was having an out of body experience and I was the sole witness to it through the doors of his eyes.
That emotion vanished in a fraction of a second before the curtains of his eyelids fell on his eyes and his fist curled more if that was even possible.
Between gritted teeth, those two words escaped his lips. That coward that I am was waiting for a moment to escape. So, my legs in no time brought me out of his cabin and into my car.
'It is done.' I heaved, but even as I thought it. I know it was far from done.
My mother's gaze followed me suspiciously since I entered the house. She must have learned where I was. She was waiting for me to tell her why I went to meet Advay unscheduled. If I don't take the bait, she will soon be in my room prying me with questions.
I had no energy left in my body or mind for more confrontations that day. So, I pretended to be asleep when my mom knocked at the door relentlessly. I need this one night of solitude before all hell breaks loose tomorrow as a result of what I had done today.
***
I had a restless night. Since the clock ticked at six in the morning, I lay alert in my bed with my ear straining to know if the first wave of buzz hit already.
I wondered if Advay had already told his parents about what I confessed. Or even he was giving himself space before the storm will take hold of our lives.
His mother Bavitha will both love and hate this news. For one, she always thought I was the wrong choice to be a Rajput. 'Halfblood' she called me. It didn't feel like an insult, because I was really proud of both my parents.
She tried her best to dissuade Advay from pursuing me. I wonder how better things would have been if she had succeeded.
Bavitha Aunty (or Mom as she told me to call her with a grouching voice after Advay proposed) will take great pleasure in seeing my mom in the eye while breaking off this engagement. Apparently, she and my mom have not been on good terms since childhood when they studied in a private school that everyone in their elite circle attended.
However, Raghav uncle, Advay's father, will want to talk to me personally. That is the kind of man he is. He would want to understand every single thing about an issue before he gives his verdict. That has so far helped him in business as well as family.
What will I tell him?
'I am not the one who you thought I was. The Langer deal you are so proud of is not the fruit of my hard work but my cousin's who gave it away to me grumbling after a promise from my mother that she will sign some of my mother's shares to her. My mother thought the deal under my name will prove to Rajputs what an intellectual asset I will be to the business.'
Or I could tell him that I have not read even a single page from all the rare edition classic books he keeps sending me believing I shared his love for reading. That was something I lied about without thinking and later had to keep up the pretense by reading plots and some reviews online.
My own family would not be pleased by the news. Even though none of them explicitly 'groomed' me for the puppet show, they promised to play along after my mother's hysterical groveling. Their only catch was that Guptas can take pride in their association with Rajputs.
Learning how I had destroyed the 'alliance', knowing it might even result in the latest joint venture seeing a bad phase, not even my mother's magical tears can prevent me from Guptas' wrath.
I kept tossing and turning in my bed expecting someone to come knocking on my door with anger and abuse. Why had the Rajputs not made an entrance yet?
Were they waiting for me to break the engagement?
Wasn't there an unwritten rule that the one who breaks the engagement has the upper hand and automatically the other party is believed to have done something unspeakable?
In our case, everyone is going to support the Rajputs. For one, no one wants to spite them. Two, no one really liked me, the outsider, coming and claiming a part in one of the most esteemed families.
People only wanted an excuse to prove that my admission to their inner circle was wrong and now I have given it to them on a platter.
***
I was jumpier than usual as I sat with everyone for Sunday brunch. My one eye was on the main door, while my ear was dedicated to catching any sound of the phone ringing.
Why haven't the Rajputs tried to contact yet?
What are you playing at, Advay?
The minute the servant announced the arrival of a guest, I was quick on my feet and dashed to the living room.
"Hello, Darling." Lauren, my stylist, greeted me with a wide smile.
"Hello?" I murmured as I looked around the room quickly to know if she was the only 'guest'.
"I have your dress for the evening."
Lauren with practiced ease pulled out a gorgeous velvet dress in pastel yellow out of the cover. She grinned at me widely expecting me to fawn over it while I barely looked at her with a disinterested frown.
As usual, the enthusiasm she desired came from my mother who followed me to the living room.
"Lauren, you have outdone yourself this time." My mother began with her compliments.
Ignoring the two, I took my place in the far end of the cough lost in thoughts of what Advay's thoughts are at the moment.
"This will be perfect for the event. Yes, Kiara?" my mother looked at me
Oh! God! Event!
An annual ball I am supposed to be attending as Advay Singh Rajput's date tonight.
"Maa..."
What do I do now?
Why couldn't have Advay broken up already? I would have found pretend crying easier than having to explain to my mother why I won't be attending any more events with Advay.
"Have you forgotten?" my mother looked at me accusingly. She is always telling me how I lack focus and that if I act any more unperceptive, Advay will be off my hands. Not that I thought he was some pet to be tied to my hand.
"No... No, I haven't." I braced. "In fact, I remember the event and was talking to Advay about it but...." I am bound to get better at lying." He is not going to attend."
My mother narrowed her eyes at me suspiciously.
Why would Advay not want to attend an event that was scheduled six months before?
"He has an important conference with some International client."
My mother was not convinced. She knew I was lying. She also knew better than to confront me in front of a non-family member. So, she good-naturedly complained about my forgetful behavior before assuring Lauren that we will take the dress to use in the future.
I held my composure through my mother's interrogation about why Advay is not attending the event, why she wasn't informed ahead, and why I looked flighty.
"Are you and Advay okay?" she asked once I stood up to go to my room.
For a moment, I thought she had figured everything out. Of course, that is not possible. So, I simply smiled. "Why wouldn't we be?"
***
I wish the internet has never been invented.
I was sitting in my room hugging my knees and watching the live feed of the event that I was supposed to attend. Advay has just made his entrance, thankfully without a date.
He wore a grey three-piece suit and his face held the same stoic unreadable expression. For once, I was thankful for the expression.
Advay was crowded by cameras that asked him about the event, the charity, and his contribution and he had curt answers for all of it. One reporter, surely from the gossip portal, asked why I wasn't with him. I held my breath as I saw Advay take a trifling pause before, with usual composure, saying that I was held back by last-minute commitments that couldn't have been avoided.
If I was watching the live feed of this event happening thirty kilometers away from the comfort of my home, then so must my mother.
Now, there is no way of escaping.
***
Between the time I watched the live feed and my mother barged into my room after she returned from a dinner meeting with her friends, I had pep-talked myself to not give up.
I love my mother, but I am going to tell her that she is wrong, I was wrong and I can no longer tolerate living this lie.
"What the hell is...." My mother didn't even finish her sentence when a servant knocked at my door and informed me that Advay was here to see me.
"Advay?" Mother and I said the same thing, but Mother with confusion, and I with relief.
Mother turned to look at me as if waiting for me to fill her in on why he was there. I shrugged. She shook her head at how hopeless I am.
"Let me see what he wants." I was near my door when my mother stopped me.
"Change."
I looked down at myself. I was wearing what I usually wear at night which means it was in no way classy enough for Rajput (or even Gupta) standards. I quickly changed into a simple navy blue gown and puller over a white cardigan.
Advay must have driven here right from the event. He has lost the jacket and bow tie, otherwise, he looked as impeccable as he did a couple of hours ago.
I didn't greet him or even look at him. I quietly stood beside him fully aware that my mother was watching us from where she stood on the first floor.
"We..."Advay began but didn't continue. I lifted my eyes because of the pause and saw him watching where my mother stood. His lips thinned in displeasure. When he lowered his eyes, it met with mine and for the first time ever since we met, we shared an eye lock of understanding.
"Drive." He tipped his chin gesturing towards the door and I nodded.
I quickly messaged my mother that I was going on a drive with Advay. My phone immediately buzzed with a notification, probably from my mother, but I didn't bother checking it.
***