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I was never one to break the rules, always having to stay in a little bubble of mine. I followed every word and requests from my father or teachers, always finding a way to be better than I was any other day. I exceed their expectations. Aced my tests, made memorable moments, always on time, and so much more that I couldn't list of.
" Keep your eyes on the prize." That's what my father told me. Convinced me.
He always was stern with how he raised me even when my mother was around. The type of dad that was overprotective and strict.
Held many expectations of me, so that the family legacy would go on, or so what I've felt for majority of my life, but there were moments where he was soft.
Moments such as dancing with my mom in the living room, holding me in his arms when a heavy rain came, cooking for dinner almost every night.
Moments that made me realize that he was human too, but of course, not everything is filled with happy lines.
When she left us, he was a bit hesitant with his parenting skills since, healwaysmadesurethatI'dbetheonetocontinuethefamilylegacylikethegoldenchildIwas, but he also made the most of it.
Like our celebration on new years eve, he held me up in his shoulders and we'd become the loudest of our neighborhood or perhaps the time when he drove us to an amusement park on my birthday.
We had our memories intact, time goes and we became older. He was always on my radar even when I entered collage where I left home and bought an apartment on my own near the school campus, I won't lie it was lonely for the couple of bits until he called every night to check up on me.
He knew how much I enjoy late night talks.
" No boys." I mentally rolled my eyes at that.
"Yes pa, I know-"
"Or better yet no girls as well." This made me turn at the phone and glare at him.
He laughed and waved his hand in a way that he was dismissing the idea of it or maybe not. " Hey, you and I both know there might be a possibility of you liking girls. I mean look at you."
" Are you implying that I'm good looking for both genders."
"Hm ? No, you're a terrible flirt. I bet my money that you'd become a nun by the end of collage."
I swear this man. I watched as he laughed at me, I only gave a scoff back although I couldn't help but smile at that. Damn it. I hate him so much for this but he was still the one to cheer me up at the end of the day.. most of the days.
I let myself continue joking along with him through the phone, we talked while I went back to my homework as he told me all about his work life.
He started bragging and joking about how much money he now makes while I joked about stealing them, this made him scoff at me.
" You stealing ? Sorry but I'd have to ground you for that."
"I'm literally old enough not to be grounded." He shrugged, his camera shake until he placed the phone done and showed the living room he was in.
At least he still had the family portrait on behind him.. besides all of the medals and certificates I had through the years. A high achiever you could say of me, but at least it made him proud...
" You're still young and dumb."
I turned back to the phone and smirked, I knew what I was doing and I knew he'd be pissed. " At least I'm still young."
" Talk like that again kiddo and I'd kick you out of your apartment."
" And that's why I have 911 on speed dial." It felt good to hear him laugh. I made a mental note to pay him a surprise visit and bring his favorite jack fruit later.
He was getting older while I watched him through the phone whenever we talked, I knew he wanted to see me but I had just been having a hard time adjusting the new routine I had now that I'm away.
" Are you.. still pursuing journalism.." I paused at his question. I was hesitant to answer, he was never one that really supported me with the idea of pursuing to being an author.
" Wouldn't make much money" or so what he tells me. The silence dawned at us both, I knew that he knew of my answer and I was never one to speak it out which only made him sigh.
Here we go again. " You know if you ever want to change your mind, I could-"
"Pa." No, please no more of this. I glanced at the phone, seeing his worrisome gaze at me but I knew better than that. He was looking out, which I am thankful don't get it twisted, but I've always wanted this line of work.
He was an old timey man or what his friends say about him, always wanted the best jobs that could, quote by his words : " give you a boost to help surviving life." I stared at him but he only averted his gaze away from mine and gave out another sigh.
" I'm still hesitant with this choice of yours kiddo, I mean would it really provide for you ?"
" Pa, I promise you that I will handle it. I mean, I took the business course you requested as promise, so I know how to handle a,"
I motioned for my fingers in a quoting phrase, " A business of being an author"
" -being an author, yes I know." He chuckled. " You've engraved it on my mind at this point."
I smiled at that, and leaned against my hand, lightly twirling the pen on my fingers. He's always hesitant with the idea of me pursuing journalism to become an author, even when I became first place in a story writing competition in eighth grade.
Though, I couldn't blame it. He heard some stories of some authors starting low and then becoming famous, but there are also authors that didn't technically made the cut.
He feared that I would become one of those who didn't made it. I understand all of it, I really do.
" Kiddo," He paused before turning serious again.
" I admire your dedication I do, but I'm not getting any younger. If anything were to happen perhaps, you could, well.."
I don't like his tone. I know where this was going.
" Maybe it would be best to just make this into a hobby or yours ? I like your works really I do ! but maybe, it would be alright to have a course that could provide a real job for you."
"Pa, please not this again. I told you, I can handle myself."
" I know that, but this isn't one of your comics kid." He stared at me from the screen as if it would change the idea of it. It doesn't really. It only made me irritated more.
He opened his mouth continuing his words which only made my heart sink.
" This is reality cherry fruit and its full of bullshit. Not everyone will like your works, trust me on that"
"I know which is why I am preparing-"
"Would it hurt to find a real job after collage, I'm only looking at for you. "
" Dad, I took business management track, also with journalism I could take it to become an author. So, of course I could take a real job-"
" A job that doesn't requires journalism. "
Sigh. Here we go again. We were always like this, he wanted me to choose either under law or medicine. I wanted to pursue journalism like how she did.
Mom was a painter and a writer, before she was the one that taught me poetry and it became a hobby of mine which made my mind go "Hey, I love it and I wanna become an author !".
But of course from my dads' perspective its just considered a 'hobby' not something you could benefit from.
Which would result into us going through a small argument.
I am always grateful for what they've done for me, wanting to have the life that they never could but from my point of view it just seems the expectations of what he wants for me were too high to climb.
" Marice is taking medicine, maybe you could-" There he goes again, I don't want to sound selfish or arrogant but I just had a feel of him comparing me to my youngest cousin.
She was someone outlooked by the family but she could careless and pursued her dreams of becoming a doctor when her mother wanted her to pursue law. Hell, she even ran away with her boyfriend. Damn that girl.
That spark of bravery from her made me run away too, from the expectations of everyone I could think of even from my dad.
I guess I never ran far enough.
" Well maybe she should be your daughter then." I spoke a bit bitterly than I should've. I saw a remorseful look on his face, I felt my heart drop but I disregard it and sighed.
I'm beginning to feel selfish unintentionally, but I'm just so tired with the same argument and comparison over and over again.
" I.. I'm sorry, look pa, this is what I've always wanted. I took business like you said, and I am also taking journalism so I could pursue being an aut-"
" I know it reminds you of her." I shouldn't have froze, really I shouldn't have.
" But kiddo, I think it would be best to... still pursue that business course and settle for a job that would benefit you well, maybe like accountancy or bank finances. Your mother would agree on that."
He can't understand it would he.. No matter how much I try and tell him that I'd be taking journalism, I guess he won't. Sigh.
I can't even bring myself to talk anymore, I feel my heart ache a little as I grabbed my sling bag and earphones.
" You know what.. I'll think about it. I need to go."
My voice felt so strained as if I'm trying to hold back tears. Maybe I am. I heard a sigh coming out of the phone before a sweet goodbye and love you from him then the screen turned black.
I stared at my phone for what seems like hours. Still trying to think it through, I wondered if I could've just continued the argument like I did back at high school but now I just feel so damn tired of the same thing.
I've had enough of it and what's worse was, I couldn't bring myself to stop it. I guess being an author wasn't worth hurting back the ones I love.
Sigh, I need a breather.
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The streets were busier than usual and as much as I would like to use my motor cycle. I had to leave it behind since its in desperate need of repairing. The thought of it made me frown, I'll fix it when I get back home.
I scrolled through my phone, looking for any updates from Mocha on twitter. The mastermind behind T.D.D has been awfully silent for the couple of days and its been giving an exciting yet anxious thrill of what the webcomic would go through.
Maybe in season two there'd be a backstory of either Paris or Yumi ? Or better yet an epic bitch ass fight between Paris and Polakov showdown !
I've been looking through the T.D.D hashtag for some time now. A few new fanarts, theories and some comic dubs from the birdy app.
Okay, I know, maybe I'm a bit obsessed with the comic but somehow I feel comforted by it. Just from Yumi to Lily and our lovely puppet. I can't even bring myself not to look through any apps that could have the hashtag.
I let out a chuckle, oh boy am I obsessed with the cute albino and a tall ass version of jigsaw.
Oh ? A notification came from twitter. Webtoon seems to be having a meet and greet near the capitol of the city from where I am. One of the creators of the meet and greet is Mocha. Damn it ! I let out a groan and glance at the grocery bag of the jack fruit in my hand.
My plan to give dad a surprise visit and have a heart to heart talk with him will go to waste if I go to that meet and greet.
Oh well, I could skip this meet and greet, after all T.d.d is just a comic and I shouldn't be too attach to it since I'm an independent person.
Yeah, I am an independent person. I smiled and looked through the many pictures that were exploding from the tweet.
Oh would you look at that, Kazzy and Sacher is going to the meet and greet. Good for them :>>
...
Damn, when the hell did I turn my direction. I give up, I need to see the wattpadians of T.d.d and the mastermind themselves.
I started to speed walk, the walk to the capitol was short since I was just coming from the fruit store near it. Listening to the music from one of my earphones, I scrolled through the list of playlist's from spotify as I walked.
Just nineteen more minutes and I'd be there before they could even set the podium up.
I grinned and nodded to the beat. I went up the bridge that connects itself from the city capitol to the other branches of it, the river seems to be flowing more than normal.
Maybe its from the rain last night, oh well. Fifteen more mins, the capitol is just from the other side of this bridge. A few more mins and I could start fangirling and screaming.
If I could even without feeling the second hand embarrassment.
I swear some fans of concerts do it without any shame and I aspire to be them in this meet and greet (only a bit more collected and less screamy.)
A few cars and vehicles passed by when I had gotten to the center of the bridge. There were two guys walking from the other direction, they seem to be arguing. I went to my phone and placed the other earbud on my ear, not wanting to get involved with this rather intense arguing they were having.
It started to get a bit more aggressive when they continued, from a few nudges to a full out shoulder shove.
I started to slower down my walk, I figured I should let them walk pass me first and if I by chance made them furious more (If it was possible) I'd be screaming my ass off and full out run.
I may not have run through P.e but I'd start if I made one of them pissed.
She's a runner, she's a track star.
I walked to the side nearer the railings of the bridge as I lowered my head into the phone as if I was texting someone. Just then, from the corner of my eye one of the two shoved the other rather hard like hard hard.
The man bumped into me and I was shoved on the railing hard. It hurt so badly and I was ready to call them out but I guess I couldn't even utter a word.
They were getting a bit blurry and their shouts were more distant. I didn't even felt the railing anymore, my hand had let go of my belongings. Did I fell ? No... yes ?
The water seemed so cold. Water... Why am I feeling water around me..
The last thing I remembered was two familiar faces. One had a scar and the other had a bit of makeup on his face. They oddly resembled Polakov and Paris but maybe that's from my hyper fixation which made me think that it was the two.
I am so confuse and was starting to panic when I realized I had fell on the water from the bridge, getting dejavu from episode thirty eight.
Yeah no, I'm not going to turn into a vengeful spirit.
My arms tried to reach and bring me up while I swim but of course since I'm living the main character moment, I hit my head into something and it knocked the bitch out.
...
Being the main character is hard I guess.
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Wew, we find out how you died (That sounds so wrong in so many levels).
I feel like this is a filler chapter but I don't think anyone would notice it-
Kazzy and Sacher seems so familiar, I wonder why.
I am so corny and I hate it, anyways if you know these two, you know. I am a fan of these two T.d.d fanfic authors so sue me bitch. Also ! I'd like to apologize for making this in such a little later than my usual update pace
(If there were any pace at all).
I was busy studying for an entrance exam for my dream school and I just stopped writing the draft of this chapter, so yeah.
Stay sweet ~♥︎
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