Landon
If I had been mated to Grayson, we would not be having this dilemma.
I know it's rotten to compare lovers. I don't mean to sound so bitchy, but I am crawling up the walls here.
Even though we have only been official for a few days, we have been mated for a while now so the pull to complete the bond is stronger than ever.
I want Harry. I need him to be mine, the sooner the better. And I don't know how much more of this anticipation I can take, honestly.
Yesterday was fantastic, no doubt about it. Any time I get to spend with him is great and I missed his mouth. I mean, I missed his mouth on mine.
I also have been wanting to get intimate with him ever since he left me. That was phenomenal, not going to lie. I needed the release as I am sure he did.
But I also need to complete the freaking bond already. Come on, Harry! Give in to me!
Our Sunday started off great now that he resides with me. He doesn't need to go all the way over to the guest wing just to brush his teeth and change clothes.
We had a lazy Sunday where Harry and I spent some time playing with my sister Ella. He is completely infatuated by her and I get it, she is very adorable if I may say so myself.
It's good to take the time to spend with my family. As life has taught me painfully, we never know when we might lose them.
Speaking of family, Spencer was raving over his night with the Saunders. Apparently he met them all at once. Ares' parents, siblings and their mates.
From the way that he talked about it, he seemed to have liked them. However, he made sure to point out that none of them understood why Ares would be anyone's second chance mate or why Spencer would get one in the first place.
Yeah, join the club.
If you ask me, a 20 year old mateless, childless Omega seems like a total waste. Given my current predicament, I can certainly understand why the Goddess saw fit to re-mate him.
Omegas are a gift from the Goddess herself. An entire species unknown to mankind that allows the males to conceive a child just as it does the females.
They are a rare breed among werewolves - Omega genes are recessive, so both parents need to carry it and no Omega bores another one.
Though I didn't see it at first, now I understand perfectly why Spencer got a second mate. He may not be an Alpha like Aaron, but he deserves it that much more. Leaving him a widower at such a young age is a disservice to the mating pool.
I know for a fact that Ares wanted an Omega for his mate. In fact, he said so out loud at the 'meet and greet' with the Blood Moon pack.
Both his siblings already have pups of their own. I know he wants a family one day. So if you ask him, he couldn't be happier to be mated to Spencer.
It also doesn't hurt that his mate is studying to be a doctor. That is a parents' dream son in law.
Though that also means they are not going to start a family any time soon, but at least they have the option available to them. Which is more than I can say for myself [and Harry], not that I am complaining about me being paired with him.
We will find a way to produce an heir. Right now I am more concerned about completing the freaking bond.
By the way, Spencer spent the entire Sunday with Ares since he had the day off. I mean, he didn't sleep with him or anything like that, but at this rate I wouldn't be surprised if they beat us to the punch.
Not that it is a competition.
On Monday, we woke up early after a glorious night of... kissing.
"Good morning, boys. Did you sleep well?" Mom inquired once Harry and I entered the dining room. Spencer and my siblings were already there.
"Good morning, mom. Yes, we did. Every night by my mate's side is a gift." I replied, trying to hide my dissatisfaction with a smile.
Harry grinned at me romantically.
"Good morning, Luna. I feel exactly the same." He said in a chipper tone.
"Good. I'm glad everything is going well between the two of you. I know how much this means for you, son." Mom commented with a content smile.
"How was your Sunday, Spence? I didn't see you coming in last night. You skipped dinner." Harry called him out, causing a blush to color his cheeks.
"I had already given notice to the kitchen staff that I had dinner plans." Spencer explained, sideways glancing at my mom as if she was the food sheriff.
"That's not what I meant by that. I'm only asking about your day off with Ares." Harry elaborated, detecting a defensive tone in his voice.
"It was wonderful. He took me to all his favorite spots in town. I'm really enjoying getting to know him and his world." He replied, swooning at the thought of Ares.
Talk about a match made in heaven...
All of us couldn't help but get infected by Spencer's radiant joy. This is NOT the same boy who arrived here for Harry's birthday.
But then again, he was a grieving widower. Now he is mated once more. Though that doesn't mean he forgot about his first mate. There will always be a scar left on his heart from the terrible loss.
"I'm so happy for you, my friend. I'm glad you two are getting along so well." Harry cheered.
"I know, right? It's like we were born for each other." He snickered. The breakfast was infected by Spencer's joy and all of us were smiling inside the dining room.
After I brushed my teeth, I went to my office to get my day started. A pregnant Lourdes greeted me along the way and her eyes seemed focused on something on my neck.
"I think it's a hickey." I said, since she seemed distracted by it.
"I see. Good for you, Alpha." She grinned mischievously at me.
I entered my office and got buried in paperwork to distract myself from wanting my mate to surrender to me.
I took the time to text Gustavo asking him to stop by the pack house after lunch. I needed to talk to him and it wasn't something I could speak with Ares or Rhiannon about.
An hour later, I arrived at the training center for my weekly session with Delta Saunders.
All the warriors present bowed their heads to me. I see Rhiannon training not far from her father. Ares was bragging about his mate to some other warriors. In fact, you couldn't find a happier person in the entire gym.
"Good morning, Alpha." Delta greeted me, bowing his head.
"Good morning, Delta. I've never seen your son so happy like this." I said, glancing at Ares on the other side.
"Me neither. I thought he'd be a little more troubled by the second mate thing, but he's not fazed at all." He said, sounding surprised.
"Though it took me a while to see, I can totally understand why the Goddess chose to mate someone for a second time. She sees everything and everyone, so she knew how badly Ares wanted an Omega for his mate. She produced one for him. A young, smart boy from a good family. I know why Ares is unfazed by this. It's because he finally got everything that he always wanted." I said, insightfully.
Kurt looked at me surprised by this insightfulness. But I bet he agrees with me. It's what his son wanted in a mate. And the Goddess delivered. In spades.
"I guess you're right, Alpha. He is everything that my son has ever wanted. Plus, you can't beat the joy in his eyes. You should have seen him bragging to his brother and sister about being mated to a doctor." He said in a playful tone.
"Oh the bragging is never going to stop, Delta. Just wait until Spencer graduates from medical school." I told him. We both laughed at this as Ares couldn't be bothered. He was smiling like he won the lottery. In a way, he did.
After I finished my two hours of mandatory training, I walked towards the locker room drenched in sweat and tired. Training is already straining, but doing so during the hot summer makes the janitor's work double to maintain this place clean of warriors' sweat.
Just as I was about to enter the locker room, Rhiannon approached me.
"Hi, Lan. Can I ask you a favor?" She said with a soft tone.
"Of course, Ri. Name it." I replied promptly.
"Can you get me Aaron's cell phone number?" She inquired and I couldn't help but to widen my eyes in surprise.
"Sure. Let me get back to the pack house and I'll text it to you. I mean, I don't have it on my phone but I will get it, I promise." I replied in a good mood.
"Thank you, Lan. You're the best!" She grinned at me.
"Are you okay, Ri? If you need someone to talk to, I'm always available. You know that, right?" I said, sensing her a bit troubled.
"Yeah, I do. If I need to, I'll reach out. Thanks." She smiled at me contently.
After that, I entered the locker room and took a necessary shower. Then I drove back to the pack house and met my family for lunch.
"Hey, I noticed that the other boarders eat their meals at a separate place. Is me being here against the rules?" Spencer questioned me, sounding preoccupied.
I was not ready for that question. Harry looked at me expectantly as did Spencer. I looked at my mom, but she seemed too caught up in her head to answer. I guess this is a political minefield, of sorts.
"There isn't any rule that states that people can't eat with us. In the beginning, there was only one big hall where everybody ate together. But in time, some conversations the adults had over meals weren't always suitable for children. So, another dining hall was built to separate the Alpha family and the rest of the pack members who live here." I explained, as technical as I could.
"I think given that you are only going to live here for one month and the close relationship you have with my mate, no one will mind that you're eating here with us. However, if you feel uncomfortable you're more than welcome to eat wherever you like. The option is yours." I concluded, politely.
Spencer pondered over my response, then smiled at me.
"OK, thank you Alpha." He said, seemingly happy with the explanation.
"You're such an Alpha." Harry complimented me with hearts in his eyes.
"Thank you, mate. That's the best compliment." I replied, swooning.
After lunch, Gustavo arrived at the pack house and we went straight into my office. Though not before I asked my mate for his brother's number. I texted it to Rhiannon as soon as he informed me. He was a little puzzled as to why I would need Aaron's phone number, but refrained from prying.
"Hi, Lan. How are you doing?" Gustavo greeted me once he sat on a chair across from my desk. I closed the door and took my seat.
"Hi, Stavo. I'm fine, just itching to complete the bond. I can't lie." I replied, honestly. Since he knows me the best, I don't have to hold anything back. If he were in my shoes, he'd be feeling the same.
"I understand, man. Is that why you called me here today? To talk about it?" He said in an empathizing tone.
"Yes and no." I replied, causing him to stare at me confused.
"I know we haven't talked about this subject ever since you got mated to Gray and I get that. But there's something I need to ask and you're the only person I can." I said, indicating a delicate matter.
"You're right. I never talked about completing the bond because I didn't want you to think I was rubbing it on your face, especially with you being still unmated at the time. But you can ask me anything you want." He said, a bit uncomfortable.
As I said, we have been friends since we could walk. It's not like we never talked about sex before, but like he mentioned: him being mated to Gray put a moratorium on this particular subject.
I took a big inhale and started forming the words.
"I'm not gonna ask, but I'm pretty sure what position you played in the completion of the bond. My question for you is: did Gray ever ask you to switch things up in the bedroom? And if he did, what was your response?" I was flustered by having to ask him this, but if I can't have an honest conversation with him, I won't with anyone else.
Plus, I'm completely over Grayson by now. So their sex life is the least of my worries.
Gustavo blushed instantly at my question, but didn't hesitate to answer me.
"Yeah, you know what he likes as well as I do, so I don't need to comment on that." He started off, flustered.
"But to answer your question, yes he did ask me to switch things up one day. But he hated topping, so it was a one time thing." He admitted, cheeks colored.
I thought it as much. They have been together for 3 years now. Though they study in different cities, their weekends are always spent together.
"Right. And did you have any problem performing the way he wanted you to?" I inquired, tentatively.
If anyone listened to this conversation, they'd think we're two old ladies talking in euphemism. Not two gay men talking about sexual positions.
"Not really, no. I mean, it's not like I wasn't open to the idea. I guess I'm a true versatile, I'm good each way. Though I obviously prefer to top." He said pensively and sincerely.
I contemplated his words for a minute. It's worth noting that Gustavo didn't get mated a virgin - I don't know anyone from my high school who did.
However, teens are not always afforded opportunities to do the deed. Mostly, we make do with the chances we get at parties or when our parents are away.
My point being Gustavo never bottomed before Grayson. But if he could 'rise to the challenge ' so willingly, why can't I?
Maybe I got so locked in this idea of sex and being the big bad Alpha that I forgot that there are no rankings in bed.
Actually, there are no rankings between Alpha and Luna. They are equals.
Luna is the only person who is not required to bow their head to the Alpha - they bow to other Alphas out of respect, but never to their mate.
Mom didn't bow her head to my dad and she will never bow to me - not that I'd want her to. I really don't.
Yes, I am a bit afraid. But it's just sex. I am sure there is a tutorial somewhere on how to be a good bottom.
"I guess from this line of questioning, your mate isn't the power bottom you thought he'd be?" He snickered after a while of me deep in thought.
I snorted at this. He laughed at it too.
"No, he's not and it's making me spiral." I admitted in a defeated tone.
"Don't think of sex positions as a power play. Being top or bottom has nothing to do with how macho you are. It has nothing to do with the measure of a man, even an Alpha." He advised me, wisely.
"Bottoming for my mate didn't make me any less of a man, just as it doesn't for Gray. What you do in bed is your business and has no bearing in what you do in life." He continued, thoughtfully.
"Being a man is about attitude and how you behave yourself. It has absolutely nothing to do with whether or not you like it up the ass. Who knows, maybe you'll end up liking it so much you'll never want to top again in your life. Be that as it may, it's just sex. It won't change how you are viewed as an Alpha or as a man. You're already the one who ended the pack war, so I'm sure you'll do great from here on out." He concluded.
My friend is so smart. He is absolutely right. On all counts. I moved to hug my friend, emotional by his words.
I was so in my head about this, so stuck in expectations. Why do I always need to top? Would that make me any less gay? Any less of an Alpha?
Hell no! Gustavo is absolutely right. It's just sex. And it's past time I give in, if that grants me the opportunity to get what I want.
A|N: This is only my second MJ song [in all my novels]. I should have more of the King of pop.
But boy it was easy to title this. Just give in to him already!
Things are about to blow up in the next chapter.
Love,
Léo.