As the sun begins to set over the bustling cityscape, casting long shadows across the towering skyscrapers, you feel a tingling sensation coursing through your veins. Your heart races, and an inexplicable surge of adrenaline overwhelms you. You glance around, but there is no one else in sight. It's as if the world has faded into a distant backdrop, leaving only you at its center.
You and him that is.
It's always him; he's gotta be there. He's taken a liking to you ever since you got bitten by that spider a few months ago. The changes were immediate, and they were noticeable, even to multiversal overseers. And how could your stupendous abilities escape the eyes of one Miguel O'hara himself? Half spider, half man, half... vampire? You weren't too sure, yet you knew you connected to him. Your abilities were similar, yet you could not have been astronomically any more different. He was buff alright; shoulders broad, abs that looked as if he were an olympian. Effortlessly handsome, gorgeous deep brown eyes and tan skin, basically perfect in almost every single capacity. Almost...
His tempter. His fucking temper. He couldn't keep control of himself fo save his life. Miguel was orderly and he knew it, of course that's how he had to be, keeping the multiverse together meant neglecting keeping himself in check. You had been skeptical to befriend him, and he was no less cold than you thought when you had first interacted, but you understood that what he needed more than people like him was somebody that he could call his actual friend. A good friend to just look out for him, and you were by all means extraordinary, above and beyond for this lost man, even from the start. He too was hesitant, didn't want to let down his cold walls, but in a given time, he warmed up to you, let you hang around him and willingly brought you on missions.
He was a busy man, never without a free moment ever since his universe had collapsed years ago. You couldn't imagine what it had been like for him feeling as if no universe wanted him.
But, you tried your best to understand, gave him a universe to crash in, and a place to call home.
After a long day catching and returning a variant of The Vulture made from leaves, twigs and branches, you offer for him to come to yours for a bit. Much to your delight, although with his forced reluctance, he sighs and agrees.
It's the evening time when you get into your apartment, though you're surprised it's still slightly light with how long it took for you to get to the top floor. You always wished you could climb your way up, though you'd probably have a hard time explaining that one to passerbys. Miguel offers to carry you after your constant whining, and the offer is almost way too tempting.
You and Miguel enter your apartment, he's been here before, it's small, but it's cozy enough that it's a great place to live. You shut the door and put the takeaway bag labeled "MJ" on the table.
"MJ, you left yet?" you call out into the void, aka her bedroom door. Your roommate Mary Jane should have left for the hospital shift by now, that was unless she was running late. She's always been a caring girl, pretty and carefree, the typical 'girl next door' friend that everybody kind of wishes they had. You've known her since childhood, grew up and graduated together, and since her father passed away, you've lived together ever since. The poor girl should have been sad, she had every right to blame you for his death given that you couldn't save him in time, but MJ wouldn't even dream of it. Living together with her was for the most part completely blissful, she totally knew and supported your new 'superhero' role you had to play, and even met some of your multiversal friends from time to time. She'd heard of Miguel since you constantly went on about him, his missions, responsibilities, his temper, she knew just about everything just from your details.
Actually, she knew far too many details.
You accidentally spilled a few too many of your thoughts about him after a few glasses of wine to her, and she hadn't let it go ever since. Constantly fueling the fire of crushing on Miguel far worse than it needed to be.
It had been so much worse for you since the day you'd spilled your extra extra secret private incident.
Recently, you'd been on a mission, saved the day as you always do, and after the celebration afterwards, ended up sleeping with fucking Miguel O'hara, only a different version of him in a completely different universe. What made matters worse is that you had spilled the whole horrible truth to MJ after far too many glasses of wine. You don't know how it happened, you want to believe you were completely drunk, but that would be a lie since you remembered every detail. The way he completely took over your body, it felt like he was controlling and praising every move you made, the way he touched you and most importantly the way he fucked you like you were his.
Only his.
Ever since that disaster, you'd made sure to invite him around only when you knew she was out, just to be on the safe side. The relentless teasing was enough on its own, but you didn't want to even imagine the way she'd act with the man himself present.
You wait a few seconds after calling for MJ, praying to any universes' god that she wasn't running late and you'd avoided a deadly interaction.
"She really working again? Haven't seen her around for a while" Miguel stated, closing the door behind him.
"Uh yeah likely, she does really enjoy her job"
In reality, MJ didn't really love her job, it was more of a pastime for her really.
No response from MJ's door.
Amazing, terrible situations avoided , you silently celebrate.
"Guess she's on time for once-"
MJ's room door bursts open and she frantically hurries out, a million things in one hand and her coat in the other.
"CHRIST, Y/N WOULD YOU BELIEVE I OVERSLEPT AGAIN!" MJ exclaims, shoving every item franscially into the nearest tote bag. Your heart sinks,
Oh fuck.
"Didn't you set 7 alarms? How could you have-"
"The wine, Y/N, the wine. If I hadn't been so invested in your catastrophic multiversal romance-". With all god's luck, just at that moment, MJ looks up from her flailing and notices who else is in the room. She sees your face, completely red, and oh the one guilty of her current investment, Miguel O'hara.
It's quiet for a moment, and you think you are truly fucked, but MJ simply smiles and continues on.
"Long time no see Miguel, how have you been?"
"I'm alright. You've been busy recently?"
"Well you know, it's been work on top of listening to this one over here go on and on about you and your missions" MJ laughs, winking at you.
"She doesn't mean that, it's not constant" you respond, sheepishly looking at the floor, trying your hardest to hide the blush that's swarming on your face. You don't even want to look at Miguel, yet he's smiling just a bit, and somehow that makes your heart settle.
"We do a lot together, it'd be strange if I wasn't brought up" he says politely. MJ raises her eyebrow and nods over enthusiastically, looks at the pair of you side by side and continues picking up her multiple bags.
"Well it was nice seeing you, but I'm running late. I'll see you later Y/N okay?"
You sigh and wave at her, all the embarrassment has made you completely non verbal.
"Anything I can do to help around here while you're gone Mary Jane?"
MJ looks at you again and points to him "This guy, calls me Mary Jane? Polite guy, I get why she likes you. Don't worry about a thing, you're our guest, cariño! "
You want to fall off a log, and then another log, and then several other logs until you become a fucking log instead of existing in this situation. She thinks it's funny to remind you of how crazy you got when he had called you that during your... time.
Thankfully, Miguel looks pretty confused about her random usage of spanish and terrible pronunciation, and your heart slows after she's finally out the door. Miguel watches her leave every step, and you watch him watch her. You're a little curious and more than a bit paranoid questioning if he perhaps enjoys her company more than yours, MJ's much gentler, and you find her to be gorgeous and bubbly in every way.
But surely he had to have met so many versions of her before in other universes? You questioned. So many versions of a person that you could find your ideal type out there some way or another. Your mind dug deeper, wondering why he watched her so intently. Why did it bother you so bad? But why had he-
What if he's dated her in another universe? You speculate, looking at him, with him looking back at you with a leveling degree of complete confusion. But your mind sinks deeper, perhaps too deep for a thought that comes before 12AM.
Does he get the same weird feeling that I do?
"Y/N, what's up? You're staring?" He asks wondering if you've zoned out into another multiverse or frozen in time.
What if MJ had been his daughters' mother in another world?
You pause, breaking eye contact, and then you couldn't help it. You laugh slightly, mostly at a weird response to your thoughts, but also at the extent of your own jealousy and paranoia. He tilts his head, still confused
"What's so funny?"
You shake your head.
"My. God." you laugh. You wave an accusatory finger in his direction. "You definitely did fuck her". You walk past him, towards the kitchen to get yourself some water, which was desperately needed after trekking the staircase. Now Miguel is even more confused, as if he's being convicted of a crime for breaking a law he wasn't aware existed.
"Where'd you even come up with that idea?".
You raise an eyebrow and take a long sip from your drink, lowering it to reply.
"You practically watched her like a hawk when she left the room, also begging for her to give you something to do. You're crazy for her".
Okay so now I'm projecting, you realize, though it was good since it kind of made you feel better.
He approaches the kitchen and leans his arms down on the counter. He looks brooding like this, as if he's about to get mad, trying to control that temper that you find so irresistible about him.
"I've barely said 5 words to your MJ, same with most MJs in the multiverse" He confirms. You're not satisfied, there's absolutely no way you believe him.
"How am I supposed to believe you're completely innocent? There's no way you haven't done it with her. I mean it must feel SO weird to be in the same room with her. Besides, even if you had I wouldn't judge I mean, it's only-"
"Oh my god I haven't. I won't. Good enough answer for you?". You're poking him with a stick far too sharp. Riling him up is far too easy, yet it's so entertaining, and you also want answers to satisfy your morbid curiosity, even if you weren't sure you'd even like the answers.
You shrug, "Well, you're lying, if not MJ from this world then who- wait...". You paused, looked over to him. He seems sheepish, as if he doesn't want you to pry anymore, yet he's intrigued at your curiosity. You pick up the worried expression his tightened shoulders give off, insinuating he'd never discussed such private stuff, or at least wasn't used to it in any sort of capacity. But why the pause?
It all made sense when you struggled to ask that million dollar question, or even form it to begin with, because you weren't sure what kind of answer you'd get back from this guy. You knew he was private as hell, but would he give you an answer? It was a question you were a little afraid to know the answer to, especially since you never questioned it after committing the act yourself.
"Are you... even allowed to?" You ask bashfully, looking away from him to hope you could somehow cover your face, regretting asking it but at the same time overly curious about his answer. You think he'll probably ignore you, you hope he does, pray he try to move on or go back to his universe and confess he never heard you, yet instead he approaches you more, and even from a distance he is still towering taller than you as if he's the heavier side of an unbalanced scale; and all to ask one question non the less.
"To what?"
What? You shake yourself and find the courage to look forward once more. You blink heavily, just as unsure as how to approach the topic as he was.
Fuck my stupid curiosity.
It was irritating though; he clearly knew what you were asking. It was like he was torturing you by making you use words you never knew if you'd be allowed around him.
"Ummm.."
He moves closer, finding an empty spot next to you closer whilst you attempt to find a clear answer.
"I think you need to ask me with more coherency than that" he subtly whispers to you.
Is he aware of what he's doing?
He's absolutely aware of the sheer power and terror he can hold over you whilst you're in a state of disarray.
"A-are you-."
Come on, it's not going to kill me to ask a question that technically relates to the multiverse and my situation, even if it is awkward, you reassure yourself.
You take a deep breath, trying to clear your mind and ask again without falling for his tricks or stammering with embarrassment. You look up, clear your throat and turn your eyes to his gaze, looking up at him.
"Are you... allowed to fuck across universes?"
Okay so now you know what you're doing, because for a moment; he goes abhorrently quiet, completely caught off gaurd from your little counter question, and caught as equally off guard by the way you said "fuck" in such a questioning tone.
Shit, was that too forward? He gonna find out about my incident?
But Miguel looked perplexed, it's like he knows the exact answer yet also as if you have exposed something?
He swallows harshly and begins, "It's morally grey." He walks around the kitchen, picking up his empty glass from the side and putting it away.
"There's nothing that would suggest against it, but there's always a risk to... outcomes" he says sharply, not awkwardly, just more carefully.
"And have you done it? Any of us out there done it?"
Miguel raises an eyebrow, "Why are you asking me this?"
You blush and shrug, "What can I say, I'm curious."
"I've never asked if anybody has done it. I've seen some enter relationships, but I've..." he sighs and rubs his eyes, something he did a lot when stressing to find a solution to a problem back at HQ, like how to catch a villain or if somebody was acting up, yet this time he looks more agitated than any of those times.
It doesn't take you long to realise that this particular topic bothered him far more than it should, and you hadn't a clue why. If anything, it bothered you too, but why was he being so careful?
"You've done it haven't you?"
Miguel looks mortified, and you almost regret asking him, but you couldn't back out now. Knowing any information about him was good for your mental archive, and great for fueling the fire of your obsession of him.
Finally, you're given an answer, reluctantly, but you do get one.
"Of course I've done it, once. Not with your friend and I've been real careful. Shouldn't have happened and it was a one time thing".
You absolutely shouldn't be as relieved as you feel to know that there's nothing going on there, and you even accidentally let out a large sigh of relief. You tap your foot and scratch your head; you should not be as invested as you are, you know you shouldn't. You pull a shocked face.
"Miguel O'hara!" You act as if he's done something irredeemable, like he's interrupted a canon event and fucked up another universe.
"And all this time I thought you were a man of god!"
He holds the bridge of his nose and groans. "Dios mio Y/N, you know that's not true. And before you say anything, no I am not proud of it".
You kind of feel bad. Clearly, the situation bought up has caused him a fuck tonne of stress, anxiety even. You've never seen him like this before, he feels open, like you can really just read him without the pressure of protecting billions of universes crowding his aura.
You gently put your hand on his arm and squeeze it, offering him a reassuring smile.
"All jokes aside, you know you can talk to me, right? If you're stressed".
"I know."
Again, he sighs, thankfully it's a relieving one this time. The stress that this man goes through is alarming, it's a wonder his heart hasn't beaten itself to death.
"It's just strange to talk about with you in particular"
You appear puzzled, "Why's that? Who was the person you slept with?"
He shakes his head, and you swear you can see a light tint on his cheeks. "I'm... not going into that."
"Anyone I know? Which universe? Were they pretty? You can tell me, oh please I really want to know-"
"I'm not getting into it. It's...". He looks to the side and then to the floor, anywhere that isn't you.
"It's complicated and... I shouldn't have done it".
There's silence. You feel bad, you think you may have gone too far, but why would your questioning have wound him up so much if it wasn't for a specific reason? You look at him, he was tense, flustered even, not sad. Something was strange here, this person he had fucked in another world clearly meant a lot for him to be acting this way.
You squeeze gently on his forearm.
"Is this... something I should know about?" You ask curiously, really hoping to try and understand what is causing him this agitation.
Silence again, yet his head almost immediately turns back to you, and you can tell he's giving you a really dirty look mixed with pure shock and confusion, or a look of interest in your curiosity and care. You hope it's the latter; you hope you didn't really ask that question, that it was just a thought and that you could move on from such embarrassment for you both.
"A... a few months ago, there was... this universe. We caught a villain and a certain... girl thanked me. She was kind, smart and beautiful, effortlessly intelligent and bright in every single way", his expression changes, he looks far more relaxed at the description of the girl, and you're jealous, how can somebody's description cause you grief? You barely know her, haven't gotten a name yet, yet you already wish you were half of what she was, wish you had her beauty, smart and brightness, wish he'd see you the same way.
But while your in the midst of wallowing in your insecurities and comparing yourself to somebody universes away, something changes in Miguel. He stiffens, as if he's making a tough decision, about to break the news.
"I'm meant to be an example, keep everything in check. But... I couldn't resist, she was everything I had wanted, just there for me and I..." He pauses again and you notice how he looks almost like he's going through every emotion at once.
"I gotta clear the air, Y/N. I lied earlier, it was somebody we know."
Fuck, was it MJ? Surely it was her. Damn, if only I'd-
"It was you."
Double fuck.
Your heart stops, then it drops, then it absolutely rolls and bangs against your chest as if it's trying to escape. You have no idea how to reply, words caught in your throat.
He fucked me? He really fucked me.
No literally, he did. But not this universe, and you couldn't have been even more envious of yourself.
Why me? You wonder. You wondered what about yourself had tempted him, yet he just explained it. Was this a universe where you were vastly different? Was it similar or perhaps unimaginable? In any case, you hadn't ever wanted to interview yourself more, get all the details and just swap places with yourself.
You realize you are in the same boat as him, both sleeping with the other's counterpart, yet in different universes. How would you tell him? Would now be a good time?
You realized you had taken a while just swimming in your envy that you were yet again staring at him, and hadn't mustered up a reply to the ground shattering revalation that he'd been fucking you but not you.
"I..." you stop and try to contain yourself.
Don't freak out. Don't freak out. You're in the same boat, somebody else is in your boat.
"I have so many questions"
"Of course you do, and i'm so so sorry. I don't want anything to change, and I don't-"
"Why'd you do it?" You interrupt. You're not angry in the slightest, you'd be a huge hypocrite if that were the case. You are more or less simply curious as to why he'd do something he considered so "morally grey". He'd said it himself, he considered himself to be an example, a perfect semblance of dos and donts, yet he'd broken a very key don't.
"We've worked together a while, Y/N. You're the first person to enter my life this closely since... my incident"
You gritted your teeth, talking about his universe was always so crushing to hear, especially when brought upon it. But it was clear things were serious if it was brought up.
"Truth is, I haven't stopped thinking about you. I haven't stopped and it was getting in the way of work, balancing things and... I thought by getting with her, even just for a night, then the thoughts of you would be over, i'd get it all out. But... it's worse, it's so much worse. It made me want to go back so bad, to risk destroying a universe to get what I want."
"Why can't you just settle with your thoughts? They're only human."
His hand brushes your arm.
"I can't settle. I can't, ever since you've stepped into the suit, into my life fully, how can I be sane?"
Oh. Oh my god.
"You... what are you saying?"
"When you talked to me, every day, even when I'd give you nothing, it showed me that you gave a shit, thought I mattered, made me feel like I belonged with someone. It's the first time I've felt like I belonged. That's when... I knew I would never need anybody else. And that... that scared me. I couldn't keep myself away from you, and I... I almost don't want to."
Your cheeks are pinky red, not at all from the lack of A/C in the room, but from the deep sentiments he's revealing to you when you've least expected it. You smile, soften your eyes at his words, step closer and hold his hand, looking deep into his eyes to ask him; "Do you think about it a lot? What I... what she gave you? Even now?"
His eyes widen, as if you've looked to the very backs of his sockets, "Fuck... is this... this like a test or something?"
You shake your head, "No test... just a question"
Miguel shakes off the question quickly by flipping it back onto you instead, turning to face you, fixing his posture and becoming more secure in his fixture.
"What about you? Since you're so insistent about sharing"
"What about me? This isn't about me..." you stammer, attempting to look away and dodge the question.
How would I even begin to explain that?
Of course you were aware of your own experience, yet talking about it might put him off, might make him question you and your morality. You don't really want to answer, even if you are drowning in the depths of the question here, but the moment he puts his hand on your arm pulls you a little closer, you realize you haven't got a choice. He's projecting this, you know he is. He's testing the waters to see how you'd react to his reveal.
"It's only fair" he reasons, squeezing your arm slightly. Your cheeks heat up as you look up into his eyes. It's awful timing, but a glimpse into them reminded you of what you were missing, reminded you of his eyes locking yours and claiming you as his own as he took you the other night.
"I was... I slept... with a variant of yours too. I wanted you so badly, more badly than anybody I have ever wanted, and it made it so much worse" you spit out rapidly. You're bright red, ashamed and completely outed, but at least the scale is somewhat balanced. Miguel seems oddly intrigued, eased but surprised by how you're in the same boat, and completely different from how you're feeling right now. You're embarrassed talking about it to him, even though your experiences are the same.
"That's a... coincidence" he simply says, scratching his neck, invested in his own influence on you, but flustered at the thought of it.
"When was this? How long have you not told me for?"
Now it's his turn to poke you and your turn to sigh and run your eyes and be worked up.
"2 weeks ago. I'm sorry I shouldn't-"
"Wait... 2 weeks?"
You stare blankly and blink, "Yes..."
He swallows harshly, his distress returning.
"What universe?"
"2785" You confirm, not being able to get that number out of your head. Miguel goes pale, like a vampire being exposed to sunlight and losing their energy kind of pale.
"Were you at... Stantley's... for a party?"
You're confused, you were there and you knew it, perhaps he had seen you or something?
"Yes..."
"2758? Did you say that? 2 weeks ago?"
"Miguel I've just said that already, why are you-"
Wait.
Your heart sinks, and the most terrifying implication arrived in your brain, just in time to make things even more wild.
"Miguel... when did you say you slept with my varient?"
"2 weeks ago... around 1AM on a Friday"
Oh.
"And what universe?"
"The same as yours, 2758."
Oh.
The same as as the one you had been in, at the same time, where you had been with him. It wasn't a variant at all, it was just you. Everything that was done, the words that were shared about how badly you wanted one another and how the circumstances were complicated. The way he had been so frustrated with his thoughts that he had shared with you whilst he took you in a foreign universe.
At first he looks embarrassed, stunned, just as exposed as you. Yet after that, he just laughs.
"What's so funny? Don't you realize what-"
"It's so ironic. I've been holding onto this guilt this whole time, and it turns out it was just you. Why did you not tell me it was you?"
"Why did you not say anything? I've not stopped thinking about it and-" You pause.
"Did you mean... the things you said to me? About wanting me badly like that?"
He punches the bridge of his nose and almost hesitated responding. He's as stoic as you can get and it's weird for him to be so responsive.
"Yeah. I did."
You further the answer, "And you still mean them?"
"I do. And you?"
"Yeah. Of course I do, I don't lie like that".
"Can I ask why? That night, you said you only wanted me, but I don't understand why. Shouldn't you be wary? I'm not like the others that you know, you know things won't be normal between us". he asks softly, almost in an insecure tone, like he's in disbelief of the situation and depth of its entirety.
This is it. He had to know. You take a deep breath.
"I was wary. I was intimidated at first, so much so you could probably sense it, even though I never usually am. But... I trust you Miguel, because you're not a dangerous person, you're not a bad person, not at all. When I saw you take care of your kid, how you always care so much, enough to hold the multiverse together, and... how you look at me when I'm talking, it all makes me feel so special. I knew there was no way you'd hurt me, somebody as thoughtful, bold and as powerful as you could never do that to me. It made me... it made me that much more infatuated with you."
You take a step forward again, looking deep into his concerned, wide eyes.
He's stunned, shunned into silence by your sweet words. Miguel's never been a person to fall for honeyed words, since he's been living in a void of mistrust ever since his universe fell apart, but there was something different about you though. Every word you said sounded so real, no lies or bargaining in your tone, just pure compassion and hard honesty. He'd never felt that before, no one had shown him compassion or consideration since his own family, and they'd been gone a while. In the back of his mind, he thought every day he'd never get a chance to experience that love again, yet here he was with you, heart thumping against his metal chest, face hot from your words,
You're worried. Damn, did I say something wrong? I misjudge or offend him somehow? You wonder if perhaps he wasn't used to receiving care, or maybe he was worried.
"I- oh I... didn't mean to imply that y-you weren't threatening, because you totally can be! I never meant to offend-"
His hand moves from your arm to cup the side of your face, your cheek resting firmly against his palm, scared that the heat from it could burn a hole right through the his hands. "It's... Been a while since anybody looked at me like that... like-" he's lost for words, lost in your eyes, lost in the way your lips part and how your eyes lock onto his own, though you have no idea.
"I hope I'm not overstepping in my role... We can put what we did behind us if you want. I c-care about you... I'm your friend after all... I only hope you don't mind". Fuck. You're a stuttering mess. You don't know how he feels, how he's reacting there, you hope he feels the same as you, it'd be cruel if this was one sided on your hand, you didn't know if you could deal with harboring these feelings or the incident alone.
Miguel looks like he doesn't know what to do, his feelings jumble together, his compassion and care for you only become more extreme, more apparent with each passing day, which fucking sucks since he's convinced himself he'd be alone. He'd always worked alone, being protective, being dangerous and strong was in his nature down to his core, it's his life- and there you were, this threat to his normality. Your face is obscenely close to his face right now, looking straight into his glistening brown eyes. It's ironic that you haven't a clue about how badly he's wanted you to look at him like this and notice how he's looking at you, that he's looking into your eyes with such longing and appeasement.
"How do you care? How can you trust me? It's not much of a life with me... Don't I scare you?" He worries aloud, in disbelief that anybody could trust him let alone look at him like he was the most precious thing in the galaxy. You shake your head "You... you are not scary. It means everything to be with you. I like you a whole lot, and I love... being with you, please don't doubt that" you confess, heart aching, palms sweating when your confession is followed by a complete silence.
The blowing wind outside settles, and the traffic from outside cools down, leaving empty space for your confessions to fill. You know you've overstepped it if overstepping even more was even possible, you know you could regret it all, could get kicked out of the elite team or he could kill you, but you can't leave it here, you can't let him go on with his life without knowing someone cared for him, that you did above anything else.
You had to have him know that you wanted him, and what happened was because you wanted him badly. You thought it was likely he didn't understand how or why you cared so much, since all he could do was stay quiet and look at you, but the reality really was is that he didn't understand how you felt the same way. He feels your compassion, hell he even matches it to a large extent, yet the weight of attachment that came with loving you was unbearable. If he lost you, if he hurt you, if you got hurt... any of these things would crush him.
You wish you could hear his worries, you wonder why he can't reply to you, even with a simple "ok" or "don't" would tell you enough, tell you to back off, but he can't speak.
You look away, nervously at the ground, not sure what to do with yourself. "Do you... want me to stop? I can take it back, I can get over myself if you-". He tilts your face back towards him with the hand that's already on your chin and you're met with his gaze again.
"Mierda... can you..." he breathes out, hand securing on your jaw, anxious to talk, anxious to make any move. "Miguel..." your hand on top of his reassures him that it's okay for him to do whatever he pleases. The utterance of his name from your mouth is the greatest affirmation anyone could give him.
There was silence for a while, your brain was fried and you couldn't think of a single word to say. You looked up at him and he looked back, definitely nervous, definitely more stressed.
'Did you... ever plan on it happening, between us eventually? Were you going to tell real me your thoughts? ask nervously.
Fuck, was that too sudden? Too weird of a question?
Your brain panics and you feel yourself heat up again. God dammit. No escaping this one now. He sighs and touches your hand lightly.
"Before 2 weeks ago, I'd wanted to kiss you for a while. Wanted what happened... to happen for a while, just not as sudden as that. I just... 'could never figure out how this could work."
You step forward to close the gap between you both, looking up at him again.
'I was scared of things going... too far out of my control. Can't stand it when I don't have full control over things normally. And our lives are so difficult." He confesses slowly. You bite your lip to quell the increasing need for him again gathering inside you. You know he's struggling to do the same, since the air around you feels heavy, consequential.
'You thought about it... a lot though, didn't you? I know I certainly have" You admit, your comforting eyes looking up at him, reassuring him that this was all normal.
'.... More than I should have'.
You feel naked in front of him, as if he can see yourself fully exposed. And you did expose your feelings, flat out, there's no denying that. But you need the man again, you relished in the thoughts of his lips on yours, and you hadn't gone this far to give up now.
"Can you kiss me again? Just like you did before?"
His eyes widen and his mouth goes agape slightly. He turns his head and walks over, sitting down on the sofa.
"Y/N I... I've gotta..."
No... you don't...
He is excuseless, just cautionary if anything. At this point, you know he wants you again, just as much as you want him. It's like your weird spider sense can detect it, and it's likely he can too. You walk around to the sofa and stand beside him, your hand touching his hand on the arm. He looks at your hand and then he looks at you. Curiously, you stare at each other again, as if you're in competition to just stare and not move.
Stalemate.
"Miguel..."
His name is all he needs. Without further words, he tugs on your arm, hesitantly thought, as you press it onto the armrest of the seat. Although unsure, he then lets you climb on the sofa with him and sit in his lap. Your knees sit parted either side, straddling him when you sit yourself firmly in his lap, hugging against him as you do, his breathing hitching as you move on him slightly. His breathing is short, yet he doesn't once take his eyes off you, placing his hand on your back, supporting you in your comfort in his lap. You kiss the skin on the exposed part of his neck above the collar of his shirt, hearing him react to your warm mouth on his exposed skin.
His remaining reluctance subsides, confidence and full desire clearly rushing back to him. You feel his large left hand on your thigh and you rock slightly as you feel yourself press down on his crotch. You sigh heavily, feeling his girth make light contact with you, causing a small gasp from you in response to the contact. It felt so good that you grind on it again, this time when he's clearly harder and prepared to receive you.
You swear you hear him whimper when you do this, though he immediately tries to hide it with a cough, yet you catch his eyes immediately and smile, letting him know with kind eyes that he doesn't have anything to hide.
Your hands cup his jaw and you close your eyes in front of him.
'Wait....' He hesitates for a second. In his eyes you can tell he's thinking of the consequences, you smile at him again, "It's okay". He moves slightly, feeling you grind against him once more, your hot breath against his ear and that's enough to solidify his full judgment.
'Fuck the multiverse. Fuck the consequences".
Your face flushes a deeper red as your body temperature rises when you get giddy with anticipation. His left hand firmly grips your waist and the other supports your back, pulling you further onto him, immediately crashing mouth to mouth. You'd forgotten how badly you'd wanted this, how good his mouth felt on yours. Your anxiety to talk to him, confess to him about your forbidden activity and the greyness surrounding it had made you forget how good it actually felt to kiss him. The multiverse was your greatest enemy at most times, but at least it brought you to him.
Keeping your mouth firmly pressed on his, you placed your right hand on his thigh and allowed the other to slip beneath his pants. He groans again, you know he's getting ahead of himself, grabbing your thigh hard and reaching the hem of your trousers.
"I need-'.
"Shhhh..."
Your hand squeezing gently on his dick was enough to end his sentence and allow for an affirming groan to escape his lips You brush your fingers lightly down his shaft, then letting your hand cup it, stroking him slowly whilst the other hand held onto his face, still allowing you to kiss but also touch him.
'Is this... fine?' You ask sort of nervously.
Although you'd had some experience, you weren't particularly sure of how far he wanted to go this time, especially since last time had been pretty rough. You feel his hand go to grab your breast and you flinch slightly at the sudden contact, but ignore your fears and stroke lightly up and down his length, pulling on it out of his trousers and to sit more between your legs. You focus more on kissing his mouth rather than the light touches between his legs. He grunts slightly at your light touches as they become fuller strokes, using his precum to move quicker. His hand secures his hold on you firmly, whilst his other hand grips digs into your hip.
You revolt forward, slowly and closer in his lap, as his mouth moves away from yours and onto the soft tender skin of your neck, biting softly yet kissing gently, being careful his fangs don't rip you apart. It's more than a little sharp, but you like it. His mouth is well received by its audience, and you groan when placing his dick between your legs and near your slit.
You push off your trousers quickly and you let the tip of his cock rile up against your soaked pants, as a way to work both yourself up and to tease him, to remind him of what comes next. You kiss his mouth once more.
'Wait, sweetheart, not just yet" he breathes out as you catch your breath for a second and look back on what you both were doing. You panic a little, wondering if he wanted to stop this, like he's got cold feet all of a sudden and wanted to end things.
"We can stop! I'm so sorry. We don't have to do-"
"There's something important I wanna do first, if you'll let me".
Important? What could be more important than this?
"Can you lie on the carpet? Close your eyes for me?"
You blink once, heavily, look deep into his eyes curiously.
"W-why?"
"Something I wanna do..."
"That doesn't tell me anything" you frown, folding your arms.
You're unsure of what he's trying to say, what he's trying to confess, but you nod in acceptance. "But sure, I'll do it"
Your heart sporadically picks up its pace when he lowers you onto your back on the carpet. He crawls on top of you, kneeling above you whilst you lay there just for him, all for him.
Shit this feels... different from last time, you acknowledge. Now it feels to you as if it is more real, like it's fully him, and all of your confessions are no longer hidden.
"Close your eyes for me, cariño".
You're unsure of exactly why he wants your eyes closed, yet you immediately comply upon hearing his sweet little nickname for you ushered. Miguel takes a moment to look at you lying perfectly still, you're just as beautiful as always.
"It'll be so much easier to get you to do what I want now that I know how easily I can get you to spread your legs for me"
Your eyebrows knit together and you try to mask your blush. "It won't be easy still. You know I don't like following your orders."
He moves close to your face for a second, examining your face close up, touching the soft skin of your face with his hand.
"You will." he whispers.
You can feel him close enough to you, the heat of his own skin is warm enough against your own for you to be able to tell he's admiring you.
Before he could let himself get lost in you, he moves away from your lips and to your neck, kissing at it gently, slowly nipping at the tender skin that covered it once more. You flinch at first at the sudden contact, but with each kiss he gives you, you feel more relaxed under his touch.
"Miguel..." you choke out, your hands on the back of his head. Locks of his soft, raven curls thread through your fingers as he quietly kisses on your neck. His kisses there become harsher, the swelling of your skin sure to leave a bruise from his more harsher bites, like he's marking you, indirectly telling you that you're his, without letting himself say it or you hear it.
His hand flies onto the hem of your top,
"Can I take it off? You look so pretty and I wanna see you again" he asks, voice almost hushes as a whisper.
"Please..." you whimper.
He slips your top off you, leaning back to admire your naked top half, the glow of the sunset shining on your soft skin. But just looking isn't enough for him, how could it be when you looked that fucking good? He leans back into your body, your eyes remain shut as he systematically moves down to your torso, kissing your shoulder blade, his mouth then continuing downwards until he reaches your breasts. He kisses your right breast, mouth hovering around the center leaving small pecks before he takes the nipple into his mouth whilst his firm left hand massages your other, slowly rolling your nipple through his fingers whilst his tongue slides down on your nipple.
You breathe loudly through your mouth, steadying your own breaths, knowing he likes to hear some of the noises you make during moments like this. His mouth is warm, and although it's not exactly cold in there, the heat of his mouth added with the surprisingly comfortable feeling of the carpet adds an extra bonus.
Though you feel good with his mouth on you, and though you know you like it, one concern remains; you are extremely nervous, he's never been down on you before, nobody has done it well on you, only did it to say they had, but then again, none had made you feel this good even before they had reached your cunt. You've cleared your mind of the othertimes men have given you head, yet you can't help but feel some sort of pride at the comparison of the feeling of Miguel's mouth compared to theirs.
You whine a little louder as he sucks on your skin firmer than before, but paranoia plagues your brain; what if MJ forgot something and walked in now? What would she see, what would she say seeing both of you? Your fear of an invasion of privacy kicks in suddenly and to its height when he takes his mouth off your nipple and continues downwards, where his kisses quickly reach your lower stomach. He's about to loosen your pants when you tap his hair slightly, loosening your hold on it. He stops and looks up, noticing your concerned expression
"Want me to stop?" A low unfiltered voice asks.
"M-Miguel, what if... someone walks past the apartment". He stares blankly.
"Is this that paranoia of yours acting up?". He doesn't half, or hesitate. There's no need to stop now that he realizes that your concern is the paranoid "publicity" of your actions; if anything, he speeds up, pulling your trousers down past your thighs, taking your pants with them, making himself and you comfortable on the ground. His hand ghosts over your knees and lifts his head up for a second.
"Spread your legs." He commands in a low whisper. "And let me taste you."
Without question, without hesitation, you absolutely do what he says.
"What- what if... MJ gets back?" you stammer, nerves mangeling your tone.
Again, he ignores you with an eye roll.
"Estate quieto, cariño."
You're terrified of yourself, you don't want him to stop, don't want him to back off, yet you don't want someone to see his face here, or to hear your soft noises and walk in whilst he has his head between your legs and his tongue inside you. It's hard to resist him even more now though when he's gripping your knees pulling them apart more and getting his mouth between them.
"Miguel, someone could hear- fuck..."
You're cut off by your own loud sigh slipping from your mouth as you feel a warmth cover your clit. His mouth is on your pussy, tongue on it first and then his mouth. Slowly, he sucks your clit, letting his tongue draw small circles over it when it's in his mouth. You writhe under his mouth's movements on you, legs parted either side of his face as he teases you.
"Oh fuck!" You sigh loudly, covering your mouth with your two hands, eyes opening just to widen and look up at the ceiling whilst he places his kisses on your cunt, slowly building you up. It won't take long, you know there's no way you'll last long at the rate he's going.
You were already wet for him before, but now you feel maybe you're dripping down his throat if even possible. He moves away from your clit, head tilting up just to look at your face under his work. You slam your eyes slam shut again, chest rising and falling slowly, hands shaking around your mouth.
He pulls up onto you, taking your hands off your mouth and taking the left one down to your pussy.
"Can you feel that? Feel how wet you are?" he asks, as he guides your fingers around your sensitive cunt. You nod, biting your lip, "Feels... so fucking good", you then feel as he puts your hand onto your stomach and resumes his previous position. Your legs hand over his shoulders as he continues, his tongue finding the best spots to rile you up the most.
"Don't... don't stop" You beg, your back arching in longing for his tongue to dart back to you.
"I'll eat your pretty cunt cariño, make you finish, just as long as you keep making those beautiful noises for me, alright?" Miguel utters, the vibrations from his low tone humming lightly on your clit.
Cariño... there it is again. Your heart flips every time he calls you, you're bound and obligated to do anything he asks just by uttering the word. You nod quickly and he returns his attention to your cunt. He licks your slit slowly, agonizingly teasingly whilst you whine in desperation for the stimulation his mouth gives you, you desperately want it to make you cum, make you beg and longing for more.
His tongue slips inside you whilst his thumb of his right hand rests on your clit, lazily drawing half circles on it. You react in surprise at how bold he is, constantly upping his game to make you feel better each time, and never having any failures in his works. You grip the carpet next to you as his tongue goes in and out of your slit pacingly, getting quicker, following the rhythm of your drumming rapid heart beat. Your eyes remain screwed shut as his mouth at one point becomes hesitant, still eating you out, but getting slower, as if he's considering something new.
"Miguel?" You question, wondering why he has slowed down and why he's moving slightly. He takes his mouth off you for a second, moving his hand off your clit too.
You hear the sound of shuffling, he's moving. Your heart faces watching him lean on his elbow and taking his hand to your slit and coating his index finger with your wetness, sliding it through your pussy teasingly before pushing it into you slowly. You grunt, groaning at the sudden intrusion, totally flustered by the way he's taking you on the floor, the fear and over paranoia of someone hearing your pumping adrenaline through your veins as well as complete fear in your body. He slowly pushes the finger in and out of you, similarly to how he fucked you before, motioning as if he was fucking you again himself, like a gentle reminder that he hadn't forgotten a single detail of what you had liked.
He slowly slots another large finger inside, pumping slowly whilst his mouth catches itself hot against your cunt once again, kissing slowly up to your clit and slowly swirling his tongue ontop of it, sucking on it lightly whilst his fingers pump into you. It's a perfect pace which as you moan loudly at first contact; you've never felt like such a goddess in your life.
He speeds the pace of his mouth and his fingers since he can feel you quivering, the way you writhe under him whilst soft moans that only get louder escape your lips tells him that you're almost ready to cum. Your legs shake quickly either side of him as he slots a third finger inside your cunt and thrusts them quickly in and out of you, his mouth getting hotter and wetter at every moment it focuses on getting you to your orgasm.
You pull his hair slightly for support as you feel your legs spasm. It's happening.
"Oh fuck... I'm going to... Miguel..," you whine, throwing your head hard against the floor, chest rising and falling softly whilst your thighs quiver at your ecstasy. You feel his smirk when he keeps at his pace, even after you finish. You've never had that before, someone to make you act this crazy so quickly, yet it's well worth jumping the multiverse for a sensation quite like it. He moves to your slit, taking his fingers out whilst he continues to taste you. You catch your breath, in a hazy state as he lazily drags his tongue over your cunt and kisses at your swollen clit slowly. Once your breath and mind has calmed after the haze, you look at him rise from between your legs and kiss you again.
"That was... I need-" you can't even describe it.
"More."
'W-what- oh!' You feel him pick you up slowly, your legs wrapping around him and you go a little limp at the weightlessness of the situation. He leaves the pile
of your clothes behind, kissing you again as you are carried into your own room, being placed on your back and your eyes meet with the pure darkness of his eyes. It is dark in the room, the only light coming from a small crack in the window, but you still see him fully, and can still feel his hardness pressing against you.
'Here? I-' before you can continue, he's on top of you again, this time taking full control, and you realise that this is it. He's finally giving in to the hunger that has tempted him for ages, and you're the willing victim.
His mouth crashes onto yours and piece by piece, you slip off his clothes rapidly, catching glimpses of his well toned body throughout your unmasking. Simultaneously, he assists with this.
"Fuck, I'm so desperate" you breathe, undoing his shirt and pressing your hands against his chest.
"Can you imagine how I am huh? How badly I want to make you mine." Miguel pants, stopping momentarily to kiss you again.
Soon, you've undone all of his clothes and the obstacles are gone. Your kisses turn into desperate cries for him to fuck you, and he responds by pushing his hips down into yours.
For a second, he stops just to pull back and make sure you're okay, becoming amused at your slight whimpers when he doesn't continue like you want.
He's a twat and likes to keep you waiting for him, even when you're this desperate to be fucked.
You're less composed than he is, and an impulsive reaction takes over you. You brush your hand over his cock and brush the head onto your clit, letting yourself feel and stimulate yourself. He takes control of your hand by putting it across his back, then bringing his hand to his cock and teasing with you once more.
"Be patient my girl, hands to yourself" he scolds, as if you're on a mission and acting out of line. He listens to your soft moans as he teases you with his cock, avoiding just outright fucking you. His mouth moves back to yours, sinking into you once more. You're nervous to be fucked by him, you're scared of him tearing you apart. You've had him in your mouth the other night and it only made you crave him going deeper and being buried inside your cunt. You can't hold it any longer, you really don't want to cum again before he's even fucked you, so you desperately bite onto his bottom lip and pull away from his mouth to his ear, just so he can hear you beg for him.
"Miguel, just fuck me.. I-I've been waiting for too long' you ask impatiently, pressing and grinding a little more on the head of his dick in an attempt to calm yourself.
He pulls back and hesitates for a second, becoming slightly infatuated with the sadistic idea of simply building you up more, edging you by teasing you only just to leave you waiting for longer.
"Then why don't you beg for it?"
"Please... give it... to me," you whimper, the feeling of his dick so close to entering you send shivers down your spine. He gives in to your desperate pleases now, it's so much harder for him to resist you when you're this fucking wet for him.
You feel breath thicken between you both, as you lay on your back, waiting for the inevitable.
"You're gonna take all of it now, alright? I'm losing patience just watching you get wet under me."
You nod quickly, desperately, blinded to consequences that are masked by his dominance. He smirks, taking a hand to his length and putting it to your center.
Slowly, he slides himself into you, soliciting an ungodly moan from your mouth, a groan escaping his also in reaction to the contact. It hadn't been a while for you both, but the craving for intimacy of one another had almost consumed you both, and it rushes back to you for every touch you place on each other. Your mouth goes to his for every inch he slots into you; his tongue basically down your throat whilst he glides into you slowly.
"Oh fuck..." you cry, burrying your head into his neck gripping onto his back in response to a mixture of shock, pain and pleasure; he only uses your reactions as determination to sink deeper into you. His chest is pressed firmly against yours, moving his mouth to your ear.
"We shouldn't- fuck... we shouldn't have waited, shouldn't have held back-" he grunts, cutting himself off as his mouth dominates yours, tongue exploring every cavern of your own mouth as you pour all of your noises into his mouth.
"Ah... should... have told you... how badly wanted to fuck you the moment I saw you"
Fuck.
"We? Y-you were the one holding back. Barely wanted to talk..."
He grips your hips tightly when your legs cling around him when he starts to slowly and deeply fuck into you.
"Well I'm not anymore."
You tilt your head back against the pillow and grunt.
"I... want all of it..." you beg him in between breaths and kisses, his hand pressing on your lower stomach causing you to feel everything he's giving you. You whine, the way he fucks you is like a poetic torture method. He takes time with each thrust, pacing himself to make sure he'll leave an impact on you, wanting the feeling of him to last for days after too. He grunts out as his mouth returns to yours, needing your taste once more as he simultaneously plows harder and faster into you. Unintelligible words slip out from your mouth in between your breaths, sort of mumblings of various cussings as well as pleads.
"You're so tight... look so beautiful taking me" he utters, moving a hand to your cunt to touch you whilst he pushes at his deepest inside of you. You go silent, mouth gaping open at the push of his dick, throwing your head back against the pillow. You both wince in pain yet also let out a loud gasp in complete ecstasy, your arm covering your glistening eyes. His words alongside his length are hitting deeper than anything else ever has or could; it only builds you up more. He pulls your arm away, pushing it back against the bed, intertwining his fingers with yours messily as he pushes himself far up into you once again.
"Stay still, cariño. Just like that, and I'll give you something good." Miguel ushers, eyes focused on your face and ears tuned in to listen to you. You do as you're told, laying locked in the the position he pushed you into, but avoiding contact as you're suddenly insecure about how much of you he can see all at once.
"Eyes on me, my girl. You're doing so well." Immediately, your eyes lock with his own. Miguel grins, visible fangs peaking from behind his smile, knowing he's gotten exactly what he wants. "Happy now?" you scowl.
He nods, "Mhmm. But not satisfied." You feel his index and middle fingers make their way to your clit, using your own wetness to focus solely on making you cum and tighten whilst his cock is buried deep in you. Your legs twitch, spasm slightly at the added pleasure his hands give you. The way he touches you doesn't get old, and his eyes watching your every move, senses listening to every noise makes you more and more turned on.
'Fuck!' You yell, his thrusts remaining slow and deep inside you whilst his movements on your clit become harsher.
Again you are far closer than you realize.
You tighten around him with every ounce of contact his fingers have on your clit. You try to keep yourself quieter when your noises start to raise volumes, afraid you'll bother the neighbors. You constantly recieved noise complaints for simply existing, so you're terrified of what they'll say if they hear this.
It doesn't take Miguel to clock your sudden reclusiveness.
"Why so quiet? Don't you know I like it when you're loud?" he asks, dragging his lips from your neck to your mouth, kissing your lips aggressively, reminding you who is the one in control, even if he doesn't explicitly say it; it's him. He's rough on your soft lips, as if he's commanding them, only making your mind go more insane. He pulls his mouth away and you break out a loud sigh due to the withdrawal of his mouth, the feeling of loss compensated when he moves to utter filth into your ear.
"C'mon... let me hear you, let the fucking multiverse hear you" he demands, thrusting into you deeply at once, but also speeding up his action on your clit.
'B-but the-" you can barely keep a sentence going as a loud moan interrupts your sentence when he finds a perfect pace on your cunt that makes you abandon all reason.
"Fuck. Them. Your noises are for me, sweetheart. I'm the one that needs to hear you when you cum."
"Oh fuck... Right there- right there please!" You whine, his pace and angle fucking a perfect spot.
Your legs begin to increasingly shake under you as you feel yourself tighten evermoreso around him, constricting him and wanting him more and more. "N...need to see you cum for me."
"I'm g..g-gonna fucking-" you can't help but choke out brokenly, instinctively and uncontrollably as his touches finish you off, rewarding you with one of the most earth shattering orgasms of your life. You feel even wetter around him, riding out your orgasm, this time grinding upwards into him, needing the feeling of him in every way on your body. His hand moves away from your clit and now to your face, he moves to your ear to whisper a few well deserved blessings into your soul. "My good girl, g-good fucking girl'" He praises with a snarky grin, as he returns to your mouth to kiss you and then work on grinding faster into your overwhelmed cunt. "Riding me in the dark like this, taking me so well".
You stare up into the darkness, focusing on everything at once, but especially his short hot breaths for every movement he makes. He's practically drilling himself into you, and you can feel yourself building up again already, wanting to squeeze around more of him and help him release himself. You focus on making him feel good next, by pulling him close and kissing his neck and letting your mouth rest by his ear so he can hear you breathing under him. He hears your whimpering and small begs close up, small words and curses that only he picks up, it's really sending him over the edge, and fast. The spider-sense works wonders for the both of you; everything feels so much better, like you can feel every amount of pleasure between the both of you. And sure, he's pretty strong, but those words, those filthy curses that you whisper to him that pour out of your mouth whilst he's inside of you drive him over the edge.
Miguel groans, pace, breath and thrusts suddenly all becoming arrhythmic, an unbearable rush of ecstasy flowing through him, something he never allows himself to take pleasure in. Feelings and thoughts that he forced himself to ignore rushing back to him in his moment of ecstasy, countless scenarios and fantasies of you under him in this very way, taking his cock. It builds and builds-
'Fuck... I'm gonna cum where do-'
"Just anywhere! Do what you want to me." You beg, disregarding any future feelings of regret.
Miguel's more than tempted to not pull out, the risk seems tempting, all just to feel himself fill you up and watch you squirm when you take his cum. But he's more composed and logical than you, pulling his aching cock out of you, leaving you flinching from the sudden withdrawal. You hear him move away from you and come up over the top of you some more as he jerks himself off. You lay there patiently out of breath, purely getting off to the view and sounds of his unfiltered moans and the sound of his hard cock sliding quickly in his callused hands.
"Fuck..." You whine, throwing your head back into the pillow.
Miguel grunts loudly, clutching onto your right forearm, shoving it back against the bed in support for himself, spurting ropes of his cum all over your stomach, shaming as he does so. You breathe out loudly, getting off to the sounds of him trembling, in awe of how good he looks right after finishing. The warm ropes of his cum cover your bare stomach and your chests too.
You stay in position, panting out and watching him recover slowly, exhausted after the utter thrill of fucking you. You sit up and pull him in, holding him close to your chest and planting a kiss on his head, cuddling him closely while he sinks into you.
"You got everything out of your system, Spider-man? Regained control" you flirt, chuckling slightly. He glared up at you from your embrace.
"For now, cariño."