There was Christmas air in the streets of Brooklyn, Jake and Charles were walking quietly when they stopped in their tracks, as Jake spoke:
"All right, you take the skinny one on the right and I'll take the big one on the left" he sighed, watching the two men dressed as Santa fight each other, then continued, "NYPD! Santa, stop hitting Santa" he shouted with his badge in hand, the two men stopped fighting and raised their hands.
"What's going on here?" Jake asked, annoyed.
"I've been on this corner for six years, suddenly this guy shows up-" Santa #1 protested, yelling.
"-Hey, you don't own this corner. I got a charity too!" Santa #2 tried to convince him.
"Canine diabetes? Who cares about fat dogs?" Santa #1 shouted, throwing his hands in the air, again.
"They can't give themselves shots, they got paws!" Santa #2 shouted back.
"OK! Calm down! Boyle, frisk the skinny one" Jake whispered, not looking at Boyle and placing his hands on his hips.
"I've gone 42 years without a lump of coal. I'm not gonna start now" Charles refused for his very good reasons.
"Are you kidding me? All right, fine. Come here, buddy" Jake made a sign with his hand to tell him to approach, but Santa #1 had other plans, in fact he attacked him and slammed him against the wall.
So Santa #2 thought it was his time to help his now best friend, Santa #1. Jake headbutted Santa #1 to free himself from both holds and both fell back.
Boyle tried to help Jake but was pushed over a Dumpster so he was just cheerleading, "hit him in his fat cherry cheeks!" he shouted angry, while Jake had knocked one down, then punched him in the face.
"Ugh, that felt wrong" he muttered, but he didn't have time to feel guilty because Santa #2 pulled out a knife.
"Knife! Skinny Santa's got a knife!" Jake didn't have time to react when Boyle came up from behind and kicked him in the balls.
"Ahh! Just kicked Santa in the testicles" they smiled at each other, but their smile dropped when they saw traumatized children watching the scene.
"Merry Christmas!" Boyle smiled at them.
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Jake had a slight smile on his face as he entered the office, he immediately made his way to his desk.
"You look happy. Let me guess. Your egg sandwich fell on the floor and they gave it to you for free" Amy tried to guess, and it sounded like something Jake would do.
"Why, doesn't everyone just drop their sandwiches on the floor?" He asked confused, as he took off his jacket.
"I was trying to insult you" she sighed.
"And instead, you gave me an amazing life hack" he smiled proudly.
Amy ignored him and grabbed two presents from under the desk.
"Oh, Amy, you shouldn't have. But this is embarrassing. I didn't get you a present" Jake gasped, with elbows propped on desk and head on hands.
"These gifts are for captain Holt and Y/n. It's one of six presents I got him representing the six lessons that he's taught me: determination, wisdom, posture--" she was interrupted by Holt himself.
"Excuse me, everyone. As you may know, this is the holiday season. Detectives sometimes feel the urge to buy their captains holiday presents. Please refrain from doing so. Under no circumstances do I want a present. Peralta, my office" Jake smiled and got up, "roger that!".
"Oh, my God, I have to return so many items" she muttered, looking at the presents.
"I know" Jake whispered, on his way to Holt's office.
"Shut up!" she whispered back, offended.
When Jake entered the office, Y/n crawled out from under her desk "He's gone?".
Amy groaned and looked at her "why don't you stop avoiding each other? What happened?! You haven't spoken for a month".
Y/n saw he wasn't there, went out and sat in her chair, relaxing a bit, "I don't want to talk about it", then went back to work.
"Pleeeeaseee! Tell me, I can't take it anymore! Maybe I can help you" Amy was exasperated, she couldn't bear the situation anymore because if there was Y/n, there was no Jake and vice versa.
"Nothing, you were just right. When you asked me 'what do you see in him' I should have listened to you. He is an asshole" she began to press the keys of her keyboard harder.
Amy put her hand over hers; Y/n stopped hitting the keys and turned to look at her, "please tell me. It's Christmas, you're best friends, you can't be apart for long. It's a nightmare when you're not together. He tries to make the awful jokes that only you would understand with me, ME. I CANNOT STAND IT ANYMORE!" Amy groaned again, stressed.
Y/n sighed, "okay, I'll tell you. But let's go outside" Amy nodded and they both got up to go onto that sort of balcony.
Y/n opened the door and Amy closed it behind her.
"So?" Amy asked, going to the chair to sit on it.
"Well...It all started on Thanksgiving when he didn't want to be at that fucking dinner you made, then he made up by coming to the dinner Boyle made. After you left us alone, we walked towards my house, he was drunk. When we got to my house I went to change, while he threw himself on the couch, as usual. When I found him in the kitchen; he started talking and apologizing, then we kissed. After we kissed he went puking, do I suck at kissing? I don't understand anyone had ever don-" Y/n began to ramble.
"-Ok get to the point" Amy interrupted her.
"Yeah, right. After he stopped throwing up I took him to my room and put him on my bed. But nothing happened, I went to sleep on the couch. The next morning I was in the kitchen preparing breakfast, I heard the door close and I called him, he didn't answer and I went to check, he wasn't on the bed.
In the office he pretended not to know me, he didn't talk to me. I don't know what's going through his head but-" Y/n sighed, and sat next to Amy, "I think our friendship ends there, and our unstarted relationship too".
Amy nodded "I hope everything works out. He's an idiot, in my opinion he thinks you two did something, since he woke up on your bed, and he doesn't know how to react".
"He's stupid to think that, I would never do that with a drunk person" Y/n said, offended.
"Yeah I know, but it's Jake we're talking about. He definitely doesn't know how to react because he's never been in a serious relationship, let alone with his best friend" Amy tried to comfort her, and Y/n smiled at her.
"Thank you".
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Jake walked in the office and Holt introduced him to the man sitting in the chair.
"Thank you for joining us, Peralta. This is deputy chief Gerber" Holt said, pointing at him with the palm of his hand.
"Ah, merry Christmas, chief" Jake reached out for a handshake, "and a very merry christmas
to you, captain! Ho, ho, ho!"
"Captain Holt has received a number of death threats" Gerber explained.
"Oh, I really came in here with the wrong energy" Jake stopped smiling.
Holt motioned him to a seat and started talking, "captains receive meaningless threats all the time. It's really no big deal".
"Of course, totally. I mean, why would a death threat be a big deal? Oh, that's right. 'Cause it threatens death" Jake blurted, looking at Holt.
"It's a hoax. I didn't wanna alarm the squad. So, please, keep this between us" Ray explained, with a straight face.
"Awesome. I'm great at secrets. Santiago got you like six presents" he added, not moving his lips.
"Well, it may be a hoax, but protocol dictates that captain Holt have a security detail with him at all times. He's chosen you for that detail" Gerber explained, again, turning to Jake.
"Interesting. And not at all surprising. I'm his favorite" Peralta smiled, proud.
"Tell me, what would this job entail?".
"You'll be assigned to captain Holt. You'll be entirely in control of his movements. He will not leave your sight. You have the authority to make decisions that you feel are in the best interest of his safety-".
"-Oh, my god!" Jake muttered happily.
"-Basically you'll be completely in charge".
"Oh, well, it sounds really tough, but of course I accept, and I will be willing to put my life at risk for this man to have to follow all of my orders. Thank you! This is the best christmas ever. God bless us, everyone!" Jake was very, very happy.
Holt got up and Gerber did the same, "thank you, deputy chief Gerber, for your presence, I will inform you in case anything happens" they both shook hands.
"No! I'll inform you" Jake smiled, he too stood up to shake his hand.
"It was a pleasure. Have a good day" and went towards the exit.
"Peralta, please sit down" Holt commanded, sitting down in turn.
"What happened?" He asked confused.
"I would like to know about the relationship between you and Y/n. I think there is tension between you, it is perceptible. Has something happened?" Holt asked, resting his elbows on the desk.
"Why does everyone want to know? Did you make any bets? Boyle is desperate, he always finds an excuse to tell me about it. No, nothing happened" Jake groaned.
"Mmh. If you say so. Then you can go, but please resolve the situation immediately, I don't want tension in my precinct, it would lower productivity. If this continues, one of you two will have to leave" Holt waved him out.
"What?! You can't do this" Jake gasped.
"There won't be a need if you fix the situation, you can go".
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Jake left Holt's office to go talk to Amy, but saw her with Y/n. So he came over and made a fake cough to get his attention from her. Amy turned, as soon as Y/n saw him, she directed her gaze to the monitor.
"Ehm. Amy, can I talk to you for a moment?" Jake asked, embarrassed.
"Yeah, sure. I'll be right back" Amy said, and Y/n nodded.
They went to the terrace and Y/n could see them from the window.
"What did you want to tell me?" Amy asked, with hands on hips.
"There is a problem, Holt told me he could feel the tension between me and...Y/n" Jake sighed.
"We have all perceived it".
"He also told me that if we don't fix the tension one of us will be moved to another precinct" Jake whispered the last part because he was afraid of Amy's reaction.
"WHAT?! Try to fix the situation, she won't be moved to another precinct because of you!" Amy yelled, Y/n could see her reaction from the window, and was wondering what sentence Jake could have said to elicit such a reaction.
"Sssh! It's unknown who might be moved" Jake whispered/yelled.
"It is clear that the captain has some sympathy for you, I don't know why, and she won't be the one to suffer the consequences for your mistake, try to fix the situation" Amy was about to walk away but Jake grabbed her wrist, "please help me, I don't know what to do" Amy thought about it for a moment, then sighed and agreed, "I'm doing it for her".
"YES! Yes, of course. Thanks" they both went back inside.
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When they returned, Jake spoke again, "I have to go back to Holt's office, see you later".
"Yeah" Amy blurted and sat down again.
Y/n turned to her, "Did something happen? You look stressed".
"No not at all" she smiled falsely, with her upper lip and right eye trembling.
"Ok..." Y/n turned to her monitor.
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Jake sat behind Holt with his arms folded as he read a file.
"You gonna sit there all day?" Ray asked.
"Affirmative, stone eagle. That's the secret service codename I gave you. Just sitting here doing my job, watching, protecting, bossing you around. Now, for your safety, and search the words "pigs" and "jet skis,"and that's an order" he said, pointing at the monitor that was on the desk, but Holt got up, going to the door.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Where you going, cold mountain? I changed your codename" he smirked.
"To use the restroom" Holt replied, confused.
"I'm only asking this for your safety. Is it a number one or a number two?" Holt just stared at him.
"Your silence indicates number two. Let me do some recon" he dropped to the ground doing a somersault while grunting, opened the door to see who was there "It's all clear sir; go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go".
Holt calmly walked through the door huffing, Peralta started talking to his watch "cold mountain is on the move. I repeat, cold mountain is rolling to the can".
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Amy was having a cup of coffee in the kitchenette, breathing a sigh of relief that Jake and Y/n weren't there.
But the peace didn't last long because Y/n approached her without being heard, "tell me what you two talked about".
Amy jumped a little in surprise, nearly knocking over her cup "stop it! Stop scaring me", she looked at her in disbelief.
"I'll find out what happened and why you're so upset" she stated with narrowed eyes, walking towards her desk as Amy sighed.
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Holt went to the parking lot, wearing his raincoat, unlocked his car, put his bag on the passenger seat and was about to leave, when Jake threw himself in the back of his car, Holt made a disgusted face and got out.
"Captain...where do you think you're going?"Jake asked defiantly.
"I'm going home to work in peace" Holt blurted, angry.
"That's a negative, ice veins. Changed your codename again" he smiled.
"Do you know why I chose you to be my security escort?".
"Because I'm a modern-day Sherlock Holmes?" He hypothesized ironically.
"No, I chose you because the threat is not real. And I thought you'd have no problem breaking the rules and letting me get my work done. Now...let me go" Jake just nodded while Holt spoke.
"Well, you thought wrong. You can't go home.
It's protocol" Jake said simply.
"Mmm-Mh. Have you talked to Y/n? Have you solved your annoying situation?" Holt added, trying to trigger a reaction in him.
Jake just smiled "yeah, everything is fine, we fixed it".
Holt's smile left his face, "I'll decide when I ask her myself".
"Yeah, sure. If you really wanna get outta here, you can come to my mom's. She lives nearby. Or I can lock you up in the holding cell with an armed escort. Totally your call" he proposed, pointing in both directions.
Holt sighed, "fine. We will go to your mother's house. I guess I am curious to see where... this all started" he stated, pointing one hand at Jake, head to toe.
"Shotgun" he spat and got in the car.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Both entered the apartment.
"So...this is my mom's place. You can just throw your jacket in the closet" he mentioned, pointing to a door and throwing his jacket on the couch.
Holt opened the door he had indicated to him "That's a bathroom".
"Water closet. My mom's British" he tried to salvage the situation he was in.
"Hmm" the captain just mumbled unimpressed.
"Why are there no photographs of you? No holiday decorations. Nothing but...motel art. This isn't your mom's apartment" Holt investigated.
"It's a safe house, son! You've been protected!".
"Don't say 'son'" he tried to go to the door, but Jake stepped in front of him, "get outta my way".
"Look, you wouldn't stay at your desk, I'm sorry, but I've gotta order you to stay. I love giving you orders" Jake explained, doing a little dance at the end.
"The only way you're gonna keep me here is if you physically stop me. Can you do that, Peralta? I didn't think so" So Holt went to the door but Jake blocked him by handcuffing him and then handcuffed together with him.
"Jordan" he whispered, throwing the keys in a vent.
"Aaahh!"
"Oh no. We're handcuffed together and we've lost the key. Falconer one to hq, stone eagle is in the cage. I repeat, stone eagle is in the cage" Jake whispered again into his wrist.
"I told you the death threat was not serious. So what on earth are you doing?" Holt shouted in exasperation.
"Look, I know you think that I'm just goofing around, but I got a direct order from your boss to protect you. So from this point forward, we're on lockdown" Jake explained calmly.
"Who will come to save us?" the captain asked in fear.
"Don't worry, Amy is free" he said gesturing with one hand.
"Ha-ha! I knew it! You didn't solve your problem with Y/n. Do you want to be moved for your childish whim?" Ray pointed to his face.
"Well...maybe I haven't solved it. But I will soon.
Wait... did you say you're going to move me? So you had already decided" Jake gasped.
"You're the problem, and maybe that way I can free myself from these handcuffs faster".
"Impossible, you're on lockdown" Jake repeated.
"Fine. But before we go into lockdown-".
"Too late. You're on it" Jake interrupted him.
"I'd like to text my husband" Ray said, putting his hand on his pocket.
"All right, but for security reasons, I get to craft the message" he took the phone out of his hand, "let's start with a pleasant greeting. How about... 'hello, honey'?".
"You will not craft the message" he stated in a firm voice.
"okay, roger that. 'Honey's' wrong. How about 'hello, husband'? You call each other "sir"?"he muttered starting to write.
"Give me my phone" Holt was about to lose patience.
"Fine. I'll give you some privacy" he took a sheet and placed it between the two faces.
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Amy, Y/n and Gina were making Christmas cards with all the faces of their colleagues on the computer. Amy and Gina sat, while Y/n stood behind Amy's chair and rested her arms on the desk.
"Maybe put Hitchcock's head on top like an angel" Amy suggested.
"Like that?" Gina did as she asked.
"No, put it behind the tree" Y/n said, with a disgusted face.
"Thanks for helping me make this card. You're so good at this stuff" Amy thanked Gina, while Y/n nodded.
"I know. I'm good at everything" she sassed.
"I tried but it looked more like a Halloween card than a Christmas one" Y/n smiled embarrassed, Amy chuckled, "I appreciate your effort".
"All right, so here's all the pictures of Rosa that we have. Which one should we use?" Gina asked, indicating them with the cursor.
"She never smiles. Is her mouth broken?" Amy sighed.
"Well, what about if we... flip those lips?" Gina turned Rosa's lips upside down.
"Please I want to have peaceful dreams tonight" Y/n closed her eyes and took her arms off the desk to cover them better.
"Oh, god. oof!" Amy turned away.
"That's horrifying" Gina made a disgusted face.
"We have to get a picture of Rosa smiling. Holt's card has to be perfect" Amy was desperate.
"But...How?" Y/n peeked at the hands she still had over her eyes.
Hitchcock approached the three "Guys...I got this. I can make Rosa smile. Just keep your cameras ready", then went towards her.
"Making coffee? Can you make another cup for senor tickle and his nueve amigos? Tickle, tickle, tickle!" he began to tickle her.
"What the hell, Hitchcock?" She took him by the arm and turned it behind his back, placing his face on the table.
"Ow, ahh! ow, ow, ow! I think you sprained
senor tickle!" he said between cries of pain.
"Next time, I break it off" she hissed, releasing him and drank from the cup.
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Safe House
1:24 pm
Jake sat down on the couch and took Holt with him, "my safe house, my rules. This is a no tie zone" he took off his tie and went to the kitchen.
"A hungry safe house is an unsafe safe house" and bites into the sandwich that was in his hand.
"A safe house-watching safe house is a safe safe house house" he stated, while holding a CD.
"I've already seen the film. I enjoyed it" Holt said, with the most apathetic face possible.
"You see, those are the kind of things that you learn when you're handcuffed together. And that is the true meaning of Christmas" he didn't even finish speaking when someone knocked on the door.
"Who knows we're here? Get behind me" Jake climbed onto the table to go to the door, but Holt pulled him towards himself.
"Standard protocol suggests that you put me in another room before you open the door. But since you've cuffed us together--" Holt was trying to talk him out of it, but it was hard with Jake.
"-I order you to be quiet" Jake shouted and Ray sighed.
They headed for the door and Holt opened it as Jake aimed his gun "come on. Freeze, sicko!".
Charles threw up his hands in fear "Ah! Jake, it's me, Charles from work. Don't shoot me, I'll use Y/n as a shield! Nah, I would never..." he said, lowering his arms, with a Y/n behind him.
Jake was terrified Holt would tell her the truth.
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