"Good morning my dear." Alastor said shaking Charlie awake the next morning.
"Huh? What?" She yawned.
"Come on sweetheart. Up and Adam, you've got a big day today."
"I do?"
"Yep. I have to go to work, kids gotta go to school, and you have got a lot of chores to do."
"I do housework?"
"Everyday, seven days a week."
"That can't be right. I don't do housework. I'm sure of that."
"Well you could always come help me drywall."
"No! I want to remember...Fine. What are these chores that I'm supposed to do?"
Alastor handed her a piece of paper, a list of household chores he had written up for her last night. She read the list with trepidation.
"Any questions?" Alastor asked her.
"Yes. Tell me the truth, are you real or just some hallucination I'm having because I've gone insane?"
"Oh I'm real as you are Darling."
As soon as Alastor and the kids left for work and school, Charlie re-read the list again. She found it extremely hard to believe that she had actually done any house work in her life. But then again, it wasn't like she had anything better to do. If she just spent the day sitting here, doing nothing, she'd think about how awful she thought her life to be. And if she did that, she probably snap.
"Alright Charlie, let's try to regain some sanity."
All day she worked her fingers to the bone, preforming every chore that Alastor had assigned to her on the list he left. She washed the dishes, wiped down the tables, swept and scrubbed the floors, dusted the furniture, picked up the toys, shoes, and dirty laundry left lying around by the children, cleaned the bedrooms, the bathrooms, the kitchen, and the living room, washed all the clothes by hand, made the beds, and organized everything that was out of place, from books on the shelves to canned goods in the cabinet.
By the time she had finished doing everything on the list, the school bus arrived to drop off the kids and they put her through hours of endless screaming and bickering. Aaron kept trying to do target practice in the house with his bee-bee gun, Louis and Ella fought with each other non stop, and Carrie kept trying to create art by cutting up curtains and drawing on the walls. Charlie tried to get them to settle down but they wouldn't listen and were completely uncontrollable. It was a nightmare, one so horrible that she finally just dropped to the floor, stiff and dazed from shock.
"Is she dead?" Louis asked as the children hovered over apparently catatonic body.
"Of course not you idiot, she's still breathing." Aaron said.
"Does she need water?" Carrie asked.
"Let's throw some on her face." Ella suggested.
When Alastor came home to find her on the ground and the children at the scene, he feared that they had broken her. Just like they did to the last three babysitters he hired.
"Alright what did you four little hellions do to her?" Alastor asked.
"Nothing Daddy." Carrie said.
"She just fell down." Louis said.
"But she's getting better." Aaron said.
"Better how?" Alastor asked.
"She's not going buh-buh-buh anymore."
"Buh-buh-buh-buh." Charlie blubbered incoherently
"Oh, spoke too soon."
"Charlie?" Alastor said waving a hand in front of her face. "Charlie? Honey? Are you alright? Say something."
"Buh-buh-buh."
"Oh dear." Alastor said.
He scooped up Charlie and carried her outside where he dumped her into a barrel of water. The cold, icy, liquid was freezing enough to shock her out of her dazed state. She shot right back up, coughing and gasping.
"Feeling better?" Alastor asked her.
"I don't belong here." She cried. "I feel it, I know it. I'm not meant to live in this dirty place or do any of these vile things. My life is like death, my children are the spawn of hell, and you're the devil."
"Now darling I think you're being a little melodramatic."
"I am not! I mean, have you ever met your children? They're animals!"
"You only say that now because you still don't remember them. Give it time and once a routine sets in, they won't be so bad."
"I'm not so sure about that." She said. "Part of me still has doubts about just how legitimate our marriage is."
"What do you mean by that?"
"I'd like to see some memorabilia of our wedding. Like maybe some photos, tapes, or a marriage license. We have one of those, don't we?"
"Of course we do."
"May I see it please?"
"We don't keep it in the house. I keep it in a lock box at the bank, along with other important documents like birth certificates and high school diplomas."
"Then can you go to the bank tomorrow and bring it to me?"
"Yes but not tomorrow. Right now the bank is closed for renovations. But I'll get it soon."
"It better be soon because if I don't see some undeniable evidence that we're married, then I am out of here. Understand?"
"I understand."
Charlie then went back inside to dry herself off and change her clothes.
"Amnesic but by no means stupid." Alastor thought. "Her intelligence shines even through a mental block. I'd find that skill quite alluring if it wasn't attached to such a vile personality."
Now of course there was no marriage license to prove that Alastor and Charlie's "marriage" was legitimate. But lucky for Alastor, Angel had picked up an incredible skill for forgery from his crime lord father. Forged doctors notes, fake I.D'S, doctored photos, forged signatures on permission slips and report cards, and of course forged marriage licenses.
At night, after everyone in the house had fallen asleep, Alastor sneaked out and drove in down to Angel's place. The front door was locked and no one answered when he knocked so he went around back to tap on the window to Angel's bedroom.
"Angel!" He tapped. "Angel wake up!"
"Somebody better be dead!" He heard Angel call angrily from inside.
The curtains were pulled back and the window was opened to reveal Angel in a pair of pink briefs.
"Alastor do you have any idea, what time it is?"
"Sorry but I have a bit of an emergency. I need your help with something."
"Can't it wait Smiles? I have...Company over."
"Oh God! Please tell me it's not that married creep Travis again. You can do so much better than him."
"Angel what is it?" A familiar and female voice called from the bedroom. "Did a pigeon smack into the window again?"
Suddenly Alastor was stunned to see Vaggie of all people come toward the window wearing nothing but Angel's bed sheets.
"Oh Lordy! Now there's something you don't see every day!" He smirked.
"Ahhh!" Vaggie screamed when she saw it was Al while Angel immediately closed the curtains.
A little while later, after they got dressed, they let him in to talk.
"So how long has this been going on?" Alastor asked causing them both to blush.
"Look it's not what you think!" He said. "It was our senior prom. My date dumped me for the campus slut."
"And I dumped mine when I found out she was really a he, who was only pretending to be trans so he could see me naked." Vaggie said. "Then when you and Charlie walked off acting all lovey-dovey, we got a little depressed."
"And drunk." Angel added. "So terribly drunk. We each rented a room to sleep it off but the motel staff accidentally gave us each the same room and well..."
Vaggie covered her face with her hands.
"I thought I was hallucinating. I didn't think Angel was really there."
"I thought I was having another opera dream where Carmen was having her way with me." Angel said. "But drunken stupor aside, it was the best sex either one of us had ever had and well here we are."
"Fascinating story." Alastor said. "How come you kept it hushed up?"
"Cause we had our reputations to consider." Vaggie said. "You know how much abuse we would have gotten if anyone found out we were into each other?"
"No more than usual I assume." Alastor said.
The two glared at him.
"So what kind of emergency are we dealing with Alastor?" Angel asked. "What do you need me more?"
"Remember when you forged that marriage license for Vaggie's uncle? Well I need you to make me one."
"For what?" Vaggie asked.
"It's nothing Vaggie." Angel said. "Why don't you go get some sleep? We'll talk in the morning."
But then she gave Angel the look. Her stone, cold, intimidating look. The one she always gave him whenever she knew he was lying and Angel always crumbling under that look. It somehow put the fear of God in him, made him feel like she could stop his heart right then and there if he didn't confess the truth now.
"What are you up to?"
"Angel! Be strong!" Alastor said seeing him tremble.
"Angel, remember that no relationship can exist without trust." Vaggie warned.
"Angel, remember that you and I were friends long before you got together with her." Alastor said. "I was the first person to say that you looked good in a dress and heels."
Angel swallowed hard.
"Vaggie I really can't tell you this. It's not really not my secret to tell."
"Oh really? Looks like I'll have to pull out the big guns. Ahem!" She coughed and adjusted. "Dallo A Me."
Angel paled.
"Don't do this to me!" Angel begged.
"Datemelo Forte." Vaggi continued.
"It's getting warm in here." Angel pulled on his shirt collar.
"Spezzami Amore Mio."
"Alright! Alright! I'll sing! Charlie got amnesia form an accident and her husband dumped her so now Alastor has her convinced that she's his wife and the mother of his children!"
"You what?!" Vaggie cried.
"Oh you're pathetic!" Alastor scoffed at Angel. "Now I can understand the temptation those jocks had to beat you up in high school!"
"I'm sorry man but you know I'm weak for dirty talk in Italian."
"Weak is right."
"Alastor are you out of your mind?!" Vaggie said. "What you're doing is kidnapping!"
"No it's not. I didn't force her to come with me and no one has come to claim her. In fact her husband left her at a nut house! She would have spent the rest of her life there if it weren't for me!"
"Then call the police or something! Don't mess with her mind! Do you have any idea how psycho this is?!"
"I'm desperate Vaggie! You know Katie won't rest until she has my children! I needed a wife and a mother!"
"You couldn't get a willing one without mental issues?"
"Do you know how hard those are to find?"
"This is wrong on so many levels! I'm calling the cops!"
"No you can't! If you do they'll arrest me and I'll really lose the kids!"
"But you can't just do this! Especially to Charlie! I thought you loved her?"
"She's not the woman I love anymore! And she's not our friend anymore either! Vaggie, she hates us! Before the accident she acted like she didn't even know us! As if she was embarrassed to have ever associated with us! Do you know what that's like?"
"That doesn't justify what you're doing here."
"I know but this isn't about revenge. Well actually the revenge is just a bonus, but the only reason I'm doing this is so Katie will leave us alone!"
"Alastor I really am sorry about what you're going through. Really I am. But I can't just look the other way on something like this."
"What about what your mother did for you?"
"That is not fair! That's not the same thing!"
"Isn't it? When your parents divorced, the courts gave your father full custody because they didn't think your mother, a single woman with a job as a waitress could raise a child! And your father kept letting his girlfriend abuse you and nobody did anything to stop it! So she took you and left the state which was illegal!"
"It's still not the same! My father was a threat to me!"
"Well the hospital was a threat to Charlie and Katie is a threat to my children!"
"My mother would never-"
"She'd never be so desperate to protect you that she would even go against the law? Because that's what happened and that's all I'm trying to do! Vaggie you are right about all this! It is wrong and I know it is but I just don't know what else to do! But once I know for sure that no one can take my children away from me, I swear I will tell Charlie the truth and do whatever it takes to help her for real! So I'm begging you, please, please just keep this to yourself!"
Vaggie didn't like this. She didn't like this at all. But she couldn't help but feel empathetic to Alastor's situation because technically he was right about her mother. Vaggie's mother would have probably killed someone to stop them from taking her child and Vaggie wouldn't have blamed her for it. So she couldn't really blame Alastor for what he was doing either.
"Alright. Fine. I want say anything." Vaggie conceded. "But I'm not going to jail for you. If any cops come into the picture, I'm going to sing like a canary."
"Fair enough." Alastor said. "Now Angel, about that marriage license, do you think you can write one up?"
"I can." Angel said. "But if we get caught, it's your ass."
"Again, fair enough." He said. "Have it ready as soon as you can."
"You got it!"