My fingertip gently traces the big medusa tattoo in the centre of his back while he sleeps, along with the other faint scars. I've never really noticed any of it before, it's rare for him to take his shirts off around me, and when he does, I only ever see the front of his chest.
Maybe he didn't want me to see it. It pains me to remember everything he's been through, the times he needed me and I wasn't there. I wish I could take it all away for him, he didn't deserve any of that.
My mind travels somewhere else, the sex we had and the following orgasm. It was different, different to anything I've ever felt before. It was bigger, more intense, and I could feel it deep in my stomach. I tried to control my release as I normally would, but it was no use.
Me and Luka never done it all that much. While we had been intimate on a fair number of occasions, we were still young and tended to stick to the same routine. — And he certainly wasn't as big as Ryder.
The sound of Ryder's voice echoes through my mind, his words replaying over and over again, the thought of having his children one day.
I had braced myself for the familiar wave of panic that usually followed at the thought of having a baby. But to my surprise, my heart had fluttered in a different way, the sudden aching feeling in my stomach, waiting for a baby. His baby.
I refused Luka of ever having a child, and he eventually came to the terms that I'd never change my mind and accepted it.
As a kid, I had always known that I didn't want to have children. The way I was raised had left a deep impression on me, and I couldn't imagine myself being a suitable parent.
I had seen firsthand the mistakes my own parents had made, and I didn't want to repeat them. The thought of putting another human through the same pain and suffering that I had experienced, having a child feeling like a burden, left to fend for themselves, pains me.
But with Ryder, it's different. I want to carry his child. Ever since he said it, the picture in my head won't leave, it's all I want now.
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───
"I have something to show you." I quickly crawl off the bed, and over to my vanity, grabbing a large, weathered picture book with a rich, brown cover. I found it while going through the other bedroom, and wanted to show him some pictures.
Ryder's eyes were fixed on me, following me as I made my way back towards the bed. A smile spread across his face as he reached out and pulled me back into his warm arms. His eyes then flickered towards the book I was holding, a curious expression on his face.
I gracefully positioned myself beside him, crossing my legs and opening the book that rested on my lap. As I flipped through the old photo album, memories flooded my mind. Each picture captured a moment in time, frozen forever on the page.
I saw myself as a baby, chubby cheeks and bright eyes, and then as a toddler, wobbling around on unsteady legs. The dates beneath each photo marked the passing of time. Most of them are from special holidays and whatnot.
I could see myself as a kid, grinning from ear to ear, surrounded by family and friends. Those were the good times, the times when my parents still had interest in me. But as I flipped through the pages, I noticed a change. The photos became scarce, and the smiles on my face grew less frequent. It was as if my parents had lost their enthusiasm for capturing my childhood.
The last photo in the album was from when I was around seven years old, and after that, there were only the photos I had taken and added in myself, still wanting to keep it going.
"Oh, Louis!" I smile excitedly, pointing at the picture of me and a shaggy dog. "Louis?" Ryder couldn't help but chuckle as he leant in for a closer look at the picture.
"He was my best friend, but he died when I was thirteen." Louie was probably the only thing that kept me company around the house, and when he died, I refused to replace him, even though I was back to being empty and lonely without him.
"Have you ever had a dog?" I question, flipping the page, eager to see more photos of him. Ryder shook his head, his eyes still fixed on the page. "No," He muttered, "I always begged for one, but my father never wanted 'another pest'." His voice was laced with hurt, but continued acting like it was nothing.
I close the book, bringing it to my chest. "Do you have a photo album?" I crawl back off the bed. He falls silent for a moment, his fingers absently plucking at imaginary specks of lint on the blanket. "Maybe with my father," he said with a nonchalant shrug, his eyes darting away from mine.
It was clear he didn't want to dwell on the topic any longer so I just return the book before jumping back on the bed, crawling back under the covers and into his arms.
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───
Me and Wren had plans to go shopping together, since it's the Christmas sales. And the had boys decided to join last minute. We've been to at least eight stores already, and we still aren't done.
I pivot on my heel, scanning the area behind us, checking on the boys, trailing after us like lost puppies.
My eyes roam over Ryder, he's so attractive, and it shocks me that he's mine. His black Tom Ford crewneck hugged his strong build, a black Celine Homme bomber jacket over the top, with black trousers and black Converse on his feet. I swear I can feel my mouth watering.
Finn's beside him, dressed in a Vetements, dollar-print T-shirt, blue jeans, and a pair of dirty white Converse on his feet.
Both of their arms were full of designer shopping bags, looking regretful of their decision on coming with us. Yet, no complaints have come from either of them.
I shoot Ryder a sweet smile before spinning back around and continuing walking with Wren. She's wearing a pink, ruched corset top with the Zaid Affas white mini skirt and a pair of Steve Madden pink patent pumps with the white ruffle socks peeking out from the top. Her blonde hair styled in loose curls that bounced with every step she took.
We're almost the polar opposites, but the pink and the black always seem to complement each other.
My black, plush faux vinyl coat, and the black Burberry pleated mini skirt hanging just beneath it, with the Chanel black boots on my feet, clicking against the glossy marble as we head into the Louis Vuitton store.
As I perused the clothing rack, my fingers glided over the various options with ease. Suddenly, I felt a presence behind me and a warm breath on my neck. His face so close, I could feel his lips brush against my skin. I smile, tilting my head back, still looking through the clothes.
And while I know he wouldn't complain, I can see the exhaustion etched on his face. He's been a good sport, following us from store to store, but I know he'd rather be doing anything but this.
I pivoted on my heel and faced him, our faces mere inches apart. "This is the last store," I smile innocently, but he only gives me a doubtful look in return,
"I promise." With a quick peck on his lips, I left him behind and walked over to Wren who was already browsing through the shoes. Finn was lying on one of the lounges, completely exhausted, with bags scattered around him.
He let out a deep groan, his eyes closed in exhaustion. "I don't believe girls really enjoy this," he muttered under his breath. We roll our eyes, smiles playing on our lips as we continue to browse the shoes.
Just like every other store we've entered, we've left with multiple bags, only adding to the big collection on their arms. But now I'm feeling a little hungry from all this shopping.
Wren practically squeals at the sight of an ice cream shop before she quickens her pace and heads straight towards it. With a grin on my face, I trailed behind her, walking alongside Ryder. We head inside, the smell of ice cream and waffle cones flooding my nose.
Wren's already pressed up against the clear glass, her small finger pointing at the various flavours of ice cream available. Finn takes the nearest seat with a huff, still complaining like the drama queen he is.
Ryder places down the bags, turning and giving me a quick peck on my forehead before joining Wren at the counter.
Wren approaches us again with a sweet smile. She held a strawberry cone in one hand, vanilla in the other. Finn's eyes lit up as she handed him the cone of vanilla, and she slid into the booth beside him.
I slide in across them, while I wait for Ryder. I never told him what flavour I like, but I'll probably eat whatever he gets me anyways.
I usually eat anything plain, vanilla with chocolate chips is my go to. But I'm not really fussy.
He's quick to return, a cone in each hand. He slides in beside me, handing me the chocolate chip cone. My favourite. I narrow my eyes, taking the cone, but before I can ask questions, he shoots me a wink, taking a lick of the mint chocolate chip one.
I know I shouldn't be surprised anymore, but he always shocks me. He's unbelievable.
But I still find it gross that he likes mint chocolate though, yuck.
We watch as Finn tries to take a bite out of Wren's ice cream, Wren batting his hand away, scolding him. I smile, shaking my head with a chuckle, before turning my attention to Ryder. He's still quietly eating his ice cream, so I lean closer to him, resting my head against him. Thank you." I whisper,
I'm not sure if I'm thanking him for the ice cream specifically, or for knowing me so well, or for even caring to know me at all.
Maybe I'm thankful for him bringing the best people into my life. Or Maybe for making me feel the best I've felt in so long. I want to thank him for everything, but the list wouldn't end.
"You're welcome, baby," he mutters into my hair, his hand gently running through it as he continues to eat his ice cream.
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───
AN/word count- 1871
I kinda wanted to add in an cute extra chapter since the book only has a few chapters left, so that's why it's kinda boring and pointless.
and it's not one of my best chapters either. I'm still recovering.
I hope you guys enjoyed it anyways,
LOVE YOU <33