Freya
The shrill cries of my baby girl right outside the penthouse door is what has me running from the kitchen. I could care less about the food possibly burning on the stove.
A mother knows the sound of her child's cries. Hungry, tired, and scared all have different sounding cries. This is a scared cry. That's what has me ripping open the door without checking the cameras.
Standing there is Damon and Arella. His shirt is splattered with blood and my baby is screaming her little heart out with rosy cheeks. I don't even think, just reach out and grab her.
Her tiny hands clutch my shirt as she nuzzles her head underneath my chin.
"What the fuck happened?" I whisper to my husband while bouncing her.
"I'll tell you once she's calm. If I tell you now, it's just going to make you angry and Arella doesn't need to be around that right now." He holds his hands palm out to me, like he's trying to placate a wild animal.
I guess I am when it comes to my children. No matter how old they are, I'll always kill somebody for them.
"Okay. As soon as she's calmed you will tell me what happened." Turning on my heel, I head to the living room and plop down on the couch.
Arella whimpers in my arms and creeps her hand into my shirt. Smiling, I drape her across my lap and lift my top and bra.
"Do you want some milk? Will that make my tiny bumble bee feel better?" I coo, helping her get a good latch.
Little suckles sound throughout the room as she drinks her fill, baby blue eyes never leaving mine as she stares at me. It's like she's checking to make sure I'm real and that I'm here.
"Mama's here. What has you so frightened, little bee?" Those we're the wrong words to say.
Her face scrunches up and she lets go of my nipple, crying softly. She clutches my shirt in a death grip as her body shakes. I've never seen her this scared. It breaks my heart. No toddler should have this look on their face.
Whoever did this to my daughter better be dead already. If they aren't, they're going to be begging for death by the time I'm done with them.
I prefer to leave the killing to Damon, but I will get my hands dirty for my family.
"I'm sorry. Mama's sorry. Come here." Lifting her up, I rest her head on my shoulder and head into the kitchen to turn off the burners.
I'll just have to send one of our men out to grab something for dinner. No way I'm cooking when Arella's being this clingy.
"Do you want to go take a bath with Mama? Hmm? We'll get the nice smelling soaps. Once you're all clean, you can sleep in Mama and Papa's bed. Does that sound good?" My voice is a little whisper, only loud enough for the baby to hear.
I don't want to speak too loud and frighten her.
In normal Arella fashion, she doesn't say anything. I get a little head nod while she tries to latch back onto my breast. I get her situated, then climb the stairs.
Damon is in the shower when I enter the bathroom. It's steamy and a little bit humid, the mirrors fogged up. He swipes his fist along the glass shower door, clearing away the steam so he can see us.
"Is she still upset?" He questions.
Nodding, I try to unlatch the baby so I can get undressed. The only thing I get in return is a bitten nipple and a shrill cry.
"You have to let Mama get undressed, baby. I can't get in the tub clothed."
Arella continues to stay firmly latched and I sigh, beginning to pull of my clothes one handed. It takes me a few minutes, but I eventually get us both stripped and the bath water running.
By the time I get us both settled down into the bath, Damon is out of the shower and the baby is well on her way to sleep. She keeps rubbing her eyes and jerking herself awake.
I hate seeing her like this. She shouldn't be scared of going to sleep. It's days like these where I wonder if bringing her into this family was the best thing. Did I bring Arella into this family for her good, or my own selfish needs after loosing Asteria?
Our lives are violent. There's no denying that. Was bringing a baby into this the best idea? We could've helped find her a safe home with a blue collar family.
But as I look down at my little girl, I can't bring myself regret my decision. I love her with my whole soul. She's the daughter we've always wanted.
In our world there's a saying that blood is thicker than water. That isn't true when it comes to Arella. She may not have came from my body, but she's mine all the same. I don't care that people may see her as illegitimate.
Leaning down, I kiss her damp brown hair and smile when she gives me her first toothy grin of the night.
"Mama missed your smile." Stroking her rosy cheek, I stand from the cooling bath water and get us dried off.
Damon is lounging on the bed when I walk back into the room. He's only wearing a pair of dark sweatpants, showing off his tattoos and bulging muscles.
His black hair is still damp from his shower and his arms are crossed behind his head.
God damn. I know now's not the time, but he sure is fine as hell. How did I get so lucky?
"Is that a nakey baby I see?" Damon teases.
His words pull another smile from the tiny toddler in my arms. She's utterly exhausted, but has enough energy to give her papa a smile.
"I'm going to go get her dressed and diapered, and fed. As soon as she's asleep, you and I are talking." I look him straight in the eye as I wait on his response.
He nods quickly and sits up straight as I head into Arella's room. It's time for a talk.
***
I'm shaking with rage, barely hanging on as Damon finishes telling me what happened at his office. Not only was our rat in the building with my kids and husband, but he allowed those men up onto that floor.
My poor daughter was in the room when two men were killed in front of her. She was in the room and being held at gunpoint. She was carried over puddles of blood and dead bodies to leave that office.
The only reason I'm not going ballistic is because I was told that she closed her eyes. She didn't witness anything too graphic. That's not to say that it wasn't traumatic. My three-year-old is clearly traumatized.
Hell, she's laying in between Damon and I, sleeping restlessly. Her eyes keep fluttering and every now and then she'll whimper, jerking her body like she's trying to get away from something.
Scooting down underneath the comforter, I pull her close to my chest and stroke her hair. If only I could protect her from her own dreams.
"She's not going back to that office until the rat is found. Do you have any leads on who it might be? I'm scared for our daughter, Damon. I'm scared for our sons." I whisper, feeling the telltale pressure of tears building behind my eyes.
He scoots closer to me in bed, pulling Arella and I close. He kisses in between my eyebrows, then rests his forehead against mine.
Ever so softly he promises, "I'm doing my best to hunt down this rat, beautiful. My main priority will always be to keep the family safe. When I find this rat, he's going in the same hole that Dimitri is in."
His breath fans out across my face as he talks, calming me with the familiar scent of mint and Damon. He waits until my body is fully relaxed before pulling back.
"Are the boys home yet?" I worry about them too.
"They texted while you were in the bath. Andrea is on his way with the other boys. Dro is on edge and is going to want to see Arella."
Ever since my two youngest children shared that moment in the kitchen, they've been inseparable. I've never seen Alessandro be so protective of another human being. Arella is his person and she's his.
"Make sure you leave the door unlocked for him. I'm going to sleep. All I want to do is cuddle with my baby girl and make sure she knows I'm here, even in her sleep."
Damon nods and gives me one last kiss, turning on the television and putting it on a low volume.
***
I'm startled out of my sleep when I feel somebody leaning over me. Breathing in softly, I smell the familiar scent of Alessandro's antibacterial soap.
His arm brushes against my body and I make sure to stay still. This is the first time he's touched me in what feels like years. I won't mess it up by letting him know that I'm awake.
Arella is still tucked up against my chest, sleeping soundly. Peeking open one of my eyes, I see Damon is faking being asleep too. I've been with my husband long enough to know when he's faking sleep.
This is one of those times.
Alessandro leans over my body, gently grabbing the baby under her armpits. He hefts her up and she briefly wakes, falling back to sleep when she sees it's her favorite brother.
"You come with me." I hear him whisper, then heads to leave the room.
That's what gets me to sit up. I fake stretch and yawn, acting like I just woke up.
"Where are you taking the baby?" I question.
He points in the direction of his room, turns on his heel, and walks to the open door.
Rolling my eyes, I call out, "If she wakes up and wants to nurse, bring her back here. I trust you to take care of your sister."
He doesn't stop walking, only giving me a nod in response. That's all I can ask of him. Laying back down, I look towards Damon and see him smiling while biting his lip.
"What are you smiling about?"
"At this point, that's his child. I swear we're chopped liver when it comes to them two. You see how she just let him take her like that? If it was any of the other boys she would've screamed her head off."
Shrugging I reply, "They see themselves in each other. They understand each other in a way we never will. I can read all the books about autism, spend countless amounts of time on the internet researching, but only they know what it's truly like."
"I'm sometimes envious of how they hold each other. I want to hug my son and be able to touch him." Damon admits.
"You're the one that got to hug him after you were shot. Do you know how much I wished that were me? I wanted to be injured so my son would give me a hug. It's hard, but it's our life. I constantly wonder if I'm ever going to get to touch my son again.
"I wonder if he'll ever fall in love and have his own children. I wonder all the time. It's all I can ever do. Just one hug, one shoulder tap. One anything. It just isn't fair."
My face crumples and the first tear rolls down my cheek. It's selfish of me to feel jealous of my husband getting a hug after being gravely injured, but those are my feelings and I can't help them.
I'm just lucky that Damon is so understanding. Instead of judging me, he pulls me into his arms, tucking my head underneath his chin.
"I know, beautiful. I know. All we can do is let him adjust on his own time. Arella is already helping him and she doesn't even know it. He touches her. Actually holds her.
"Two months ago he wouldn't have done that. A year ago he wouldn't even be in the same room as a baby. Baby steps is still progress."
I slowly digest his words and sigh. He's right.
Baby steps is still progress.