Chapter 13: I'm Only Human
"Give me one reason I should believe you." I said.
"What is so hard for you to understand. Not every guy has to be in love with you!" Damon yelled.
"I don't care if you're not in love with me.. I know what I chose.." I sighed.
"Then what? Why do you care?" He asked.
"Because you don't!" I yelled.
"So you think I have to care about you?" He asked confused.
"You've always cared about me.. So yeah I think it's a little strange." I shrugged.
"What do you want me to say? That I care about you, that I'm still in love with you? That you ripped my heart out when you chose Stefan?" He asked pushing me against the wall furiously.
"I want to know that you still have your emotions, because I'm not letting you go back to what you were." I replied staring into his eyes carefully.
"You mean a blood sucking, no humanity, vampire?" He asked with a smirk.
"I can't let you turn it off Damon, I won't let you!" I said softly.
"What if I already have?" He asked and just as he said that Elena walked into the room.
"Rox what's going-" She started but Damon let go of me and rushed at her.
"Damon stop!" I yelled as he held Elena in a choking position.
"What's stopping me from killing her?" He asked his fangs were coming out and his veins popping near his eyes.
"Because she's my sister, Damon please don't go there!" I yelled.
"Oh, you think I'll stop because she's your sister." He chuckled about to put his fangs deep in her neck.
"Damon!" I yelled pushing him away from her with magic.
"That wasn't nice." He hissed, getting up quickly and charging at me.
"I'm not going to let you get so far deep that you forget who you are." I said pushing him down again, but this time I was on top of him holding him down by his arms.
"Why do you care what I do? You got what you wanted." He said calmer now putting his fangs away.
"I still love you! I'm trying to fight it because this is what happens when things don't go your way.." I sighed.
"That's why I can't be with you?" He asked.
"You make me a different person when we're together.. I need to know what it's like without you." I said getting off of him.
"This is what it's like when I'm not with you." He said.
"Roxanne." Elena said looking at Damon nervously, before I could do anything he ran back to her and snapped her neck.
"No!" I screamed running over to her lifeless body.
"This is your fault." He replied before leaving me there tears streaming down my face.
After that everything went black and suddenly I woke up. My body shot up quickly and my eyes were wide. I was panting heavily and my hands were covering my mouth in shock. I realized where I was now and it was still dark in the room. It was all just a dream, thank god, nothing bad actually happened. I looked over next to me and noticed Stefan waking up now and he noticed I was sitting up, still heart pumping, scared as hell.
"Hey, what's wrong?" He asked sitting up worriedly.
"I just.. I had a really horrible dream." I breathed staring into space.
"Come here." He said holding out his arms, so I moved closer as he wrapped me in a tight hug.
"It was just a dream, you're safe, everything's going to be ok." He nodded stroking my hair.
"Do you think Damon's going to be ok?" I asked nervously.
"He'll get over it.. It's going to be fine." He said soothingly.
"I'm worried about him." I said softly.
"He's just upset, he's not going to do anything he'll regret, he knows you still care what he does." He nodded.
"It just all seemed so real.." I whispered.
"And it was a dream, that's all it was. I'm not going to let anything happen to you." He replied kissing my forehead.
"Promise?" I asked.
"I promise." He whispered. "Now go back to sleep, I know you didn't get much when I was in the tomb."
"I'm glad you're here." I said laying back down facing him.
"I love you." He said pulling me closer.
"I love you too." I said kissing his lips softly before closing my eyes.
I didn't have any bad dreams after that, but it was really hard to sleep with that nightmare on my mind. After all that's happened could Damon really go back to that self-loathing vampire that I used to hate? I wake awake off and on. It was only 3 in the morning when I woke up the first time. Each time I woke up Stefan would wake up too, which made me feel bad because he hadn't gotten good sleep either. When it was around 6 I decided to get up and go get some water from the kitchen.
"Can't sleep?" A voice came from behind me and I jumped back dropping my glass on the ground.
"Don't do that." I hissed angrily going to pick up the shattered pieces but accidentally cut my hand.
"Did I scare you?" Damon asked with a smirk pulling what looked like a first aid kit out of a cabinet.
"Yeah, what are you doing down here?" I asked as he walked closer to me.
"I could hear you tossing in your sleep.. Something keeping you awake?" He asked grabbing me by the waist.
"What are you-" I started but he was just lifting me up to set me on the counter.
"I'm trying to help." He rolled his eyes taking out a cotton ball and what looked like rubbing alcohol.
"I can clean my own cut." I said as he turned my hand over to see the deep cut the glass had made.
"You're lucky you don't need stitches." He said dabbing the cotton ball on it.
"Ow!" I yelled pulling my hand away.
"Aw did I hurt you?" He asked in a concerned yet sarcastic tone.
"Warn me first before you do that!" I exclaimed, slowly putting my hand back out again. "Why are you helping me?"
"I don't know, I just felt the need to help someone at 6 in the morning.. What do you think Roxanne?" He asked.
"But you told me-" I started.
"Maybe I was a little hard on you.. You just frustrate me and sometimes I say things that I shouldn't." He sighed.
"You still care about me.." I breathed thankfully, he hadn't turned his emotions off.
"Yeah well, you're probably the one person I can't, not care about." He sighed beginning to wrap my hand in a white cloth.
"It's good to hear you say that." I smiled a little. "I was worried."
"It's not easy to forget how you feel about someone." He shrugged and I felt a little guilty because that's what I was doing.
"So how do you do it?" I asked and he looked at me confused.
"Do what?" He asked.
"How are you so calm around blood?" I asked and he smiled.
"I can control myself Roxanne, I've been around more than 150 years, I think I've learned by now." He smirked.
"Have you ever thought about it?" I asked. "The temptation, being around me?"
"I wouldn't do anything to hurt you." He sighed.
"That wasn't the story when we first met..." I shrugged.
"You met me when I was in a dark place." He decided after a minute of silence.
"I'm glad you've found your way into the light." I smiled about to get off the counter but he helped me down so I wouldn't step on any glass.
"You know, I'm not giving up on you." He said almost in a whisper but I could hear it clearly.
"I knew you wouldn't." I replied before leaving to go back upstairs.
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The next morning I was supposed to be heading to school. Caroline was freaking out about some event she had to help with and asked if I'd come too. I didn't get any more sleep after what happened with Damon and I know Stefan was listening to the whole thing. He got up to shower before me so I decided to use the guest bathroom and bedroom where a lot of my stuff was. Now that Stefan was my boyfriend I probably wouldn't be using that room a lot, only to get ready maybe. So I headed into the next room over to shower.
Once I had gotten out I blow dried my hair and left it straight for once. I looked through the clothes I'd left and decided on wearing a collared black blouse which I tucked into a mint green mini skirt. I paired some black boots with it and did my makeup like normal. I usually wouldn't dress like that, especially since my whole style changed because of Katherine, but today I wanted to play around with what the old me would used to wear. So I grabbed my phone and looked at myself in the mirror before going back to find Stefan.
"Stefan?" I asked looking around the empty room. "Stef- You're standing right behind me, aren't you?"
"Yep." He said and I turned around quickly before kissing him. "Good morning."
"I don't want us to be apart anymore. Ever." I said placing my hands on his shirtless shoulders.
"Me neither, but..." he started but I cut him off.
"Don't ruin the moment." I sighed kissing him again but he stopped it. "You're about to ruin the moment, aren't you?"
"I'm totally ruining the moment." He nodded. "Look, I can't just pretend like everything is okay."
"Katherine's locked away in the tomb." I shrugged.
"I know but we still have this pressing little issue of you being Klaus' human sacrifice." He said and I walked away to go get some vervain and a glass.
"Yes but Elijah promised to keep me and everyone else safe as long as we play by his rules." I nodded.
"Right. As long as you play by his rules." He emphasized on the you part.
"Please don't go after Isobel." I sighed putting the vervain in the glass.
"Katherine said Isobel could have some answers and I just have a couple questions, that's all." He shrugged as I stirred water into the glass and took a sip of it.
"Isobel has been no help, my mom even said working with her was a mistake." I said simply.
"And we can't trust what she says either." He shrugged and I squinted my eyes at him.
"Well your not her favorite person in the world." I shrugged.
"That makes two of us." He nodded.
"Stefan, I made a deal with Elijah." I replied trying to get him out of making a huge mistake.
"Right, you made a deal with him. I didn't make one. You should keep your deal." He said.
"Stefan, I don't want anyone else to get hurt. That includes you!" I exclaimed.
"When have I ever wanted somebody to get hurt?" He asked and I ignored it.
"Here, vervain. I made it light but are you sure? Just because Katherine built up a tolerance..." I started worriedly.
"Yes, bottoms up." He nodded taking the glass and drinking it but he began to choke and I quickly took it from his hand.
"Are you okay?" I asked.
"Yeah." He nodded after a while.
"How can Elijah compel another vampire?" I asked.
"He's an original. I don't really know what that means. I don't think anybody really knows what that means. Well, except maybe Isobel." He shrugged and then smiled. "Maybe we should ask her."
"Stefan please-" I started but he kissed my lips to stop me.
"I'll see you later." He smiled walking out of the room. I followed shortly after, walking into the library to find Damon looking at Rose's shoulder.
"How is it?" Rose asked and Damon saw me.
"Definitely better, right Roxanne?" Damon asked and I nodded my head.
"Um, it looks.. it's not bad." I lied, it looked much worse.
"Where's Stefan?" Damon asked as I stared at the huge infection growing down Rose's back.
"He left. I need you to talk to him. He's convinced that he has to find Isobel but I think that's gonna upset Elijah." I shrugged.
"No, can do. I'm with Stefan on this one but if you could play nurse for a little while.." He began but Rose cut him off.
"It's not necessary." She objected.
"It is necessary. Roxanne is a do-gooder. It's in her nature, she just can't resist." Damon said leaving the room ad I followed.
"I have to get to school-" I started.
"One day Roxanne, that's all I'm asking." He replied. "Please."
"Damon. Is she gonna die?" I asked quieter.
"Probably. The wolf bite caused some kind of infection and it's getting worse." He sighed.
"Like poison?" I asked concerned.
"I don't know, Roxanne. I'm not an expert in the field." He said with wide eyes.
"I'm sorry." I said grabbing his hand to try and comfort him.
"Death happens. We come, we go. Sooner she dies the better. It's gloomy as hell in here." He said pulling away and walking out of the room.
"Damon wait!" I said going after him and he turned back.
"What?" He asked irritated.
"What if there's something I can do? There has to be some kind of spell or potion or something that can heal her." I said.
"It would take hours to find something like that.. And we don't have the time." He replied leaving me there to take care of Rose by myself.
"Hey Rose, why don't I take you up to Damon's room." I said walking back into the room to see Rose was passed out on the couch. I pulled out my phone and dialed Tyler's number.
"Hey, Caroline's looking for you, everything ok?" Tyler answered immediately.
"Yeah I'm fine.. I have a huge favor to ask." I replied.
"Ask away." He said.
"Ok I know I'm supposed to be helping her but something came up over here and Damon needs me to keep an eye on Rose, Ty I need your help." I said quickly.
"Just calm down, I'll let Care know and I'll be on my way." He said softly.
"Can you stop by the house and grab a few of my grimoires too?" I asked and the line was silent for a minute.
"Yeah sure, just sit tight and I'll be there soon." He replied.
"Thanks Ty." I breathed, thankfully.
"No problem." He said before hanging up.
"Roxanne?" Rose asked shakily.
"Yeah, I'm here." I nodded rushing over to her.
"What's going on? Where's Damon?" She asked sitting up.
"He left. Why don't I take you to his room so you can rest." I said and she nodded as I helped her off the couch.
"You don't have to help me." She shook her head but I stayed attached to her anyway and I helps her all the way to his room.
"I'm used to taking care of my brother and sister when they're sick.." I sighed helping her get into Damon's bed.
"I hate this. I'm a vampire, I haven't had a cold in five centuries." She sighed.
"Just get in bed." I nodded.
"We don't get sick. When we die, it's fast and sudden and it's certainly not drawn out in illness." She coughed sinking into the sheets.
"You're not gonna die." I lied, because I had no idea what would happen to her.
"Such a human thing to say." She said as I looked around Damon's room. "You look like you've never been in Damon's room before.."
"No it's just, not really what I remember.." I shrugged looking at a book he had on a pile he had by the bed.
"How come?" She asked.
"I don't know, I just never really looked at it until now.." I decided.
"Not what you expected?" She questioned.
"It's just a room with a bed. Maybe I expected there to be silk sheets." I smiled and she did too.
"You're lucky, you know. No one's ever loved me the way you're loved." She said and I frowned.
"I doubt that." I replied.
"Trevor was my best friend. Nothing more. I spent all those years on the run from Elijah. I just never thought it was a good idea to set up roots. The whole idea of family is not exactly compatible with being a vampire." She told me. "Why are you so eager to give up?"
"I'm not giving up on anything." I shrugged handing her a glass of blood. "Here."
"What do you call this whole deal with Elijah?" She asked.
"I call it my best option." I shrugged.
"It's your easiest option." She pointed.
"That's not fair." I argued.
"Do you really think that your witch friend destroyed the moonstone?" She asked.
"I spoke with Bonnie. I know that she had the help of another witch; unless you mean it's Elijah's witch so no, I don't." I shrugged.
"You really are determined to die, aren't you? At least I ran, you're not even trying." She said and I didn't know what to tell her, I didn't want to argue with a dying vampire. "I'm so tired."
"Just get some rest." I nodded watching her close her eyes but as I was leaving she began to talk.
"No, stop, wait. Tell them to prepare the horses." She mustered.
"It's okay Rose. Just get some sleep. You'll feel better when you wake up." I said.
"Trevor, don't be so stupid. You're never going to make it there before the sun." She said, suddenly she sat up in pain. "Roxanne, Roxanne, I need more blood."
"Yeah, of course, here." I said rushing over to her giving her the glass but she immediately threw it up.
"It hurts!" She screamed.
"It's okay, everything's gonna be alright." I said running to the bathroom to get a wet towel. When I came back Rose wasn't in bed. I turned around and was attacked and pushed against the wall.
"It's all your fault, Katerina. You Katerina, you did this." She yelled.
"It's Roxanne. Rose, Rose! I'm Roxanne!" I struggled.
"You betrayed us!" Rose hissed.
"I'm not Katherine!" I exclaimed and she let me go.
"Roxanne?" She asked.
"It's me, it's Roxanne." I nodded in relief.
"Oh my god Roxanne. I'm so sorry. I don't know what's happening to me. I'm sorry." She started to panic again.
"You're gonna be alright." I said soothingly.
"My mind, I'm..." She started.
"It was just for a second." I replied.
"I'm sorry, don't be scared of me." She apologized and I smiled slightly.
"I'm not. I'm not, but you need to rest." I nodded bringing her back to Damon's bed.
"I'm scared." She said laying back under the sheets.
"You're not alone. I'm right here." I said.
"Here, where's here?" She asked.
"Damon's bedroom, you're in Damon's bedroom." I replied quickly to try and calm her.
"I want to go home." She cried in pain.
"Tell me about it." I nodded trying to make her feel better.
"St. Austell, 30 kilometers south of London. With fields and trees and horses." She told me.
"Sounds beautiful." I smiled slightly.
"When you live long enough, everything disappears. So much time wasted, I just wish I wouldn't have been so afraid." She sighed before closing her eyes.
I made sure she was sleeping before leaving the room. I made sure to shit the door behind me and headed to the linen closet down the hall. I picked out a pair of fresh sheets because there was now blood stained on the old ones. I was about to head back to the room when I heard a knock at the front door. I dropped the sheets on the ground before running down to answer it. I knew it was Tyler, I would of told him to just walk in, but with the way Rose had been acting I didn't want to scare him. I opened the door and Tyler was carrying a stack of my grimoires and a bag that read The Mystic Grill on it.
"Hey." He smiled.
"Thanks for coming." I said letting him come in and we walked into the library.
"No problem, I brought you lunch." He nodded. "Everything going ok with Rose?"
"Yeah, Ty, we need to talk." I sighed sitting on the couch.
"What happened?" He asked concerned.
"Rose was bit by a werewolf last night.. And those are fatal to vampires according to the legend.." I nodded.
"It wasn't me.. Caroline had me locked up the whole time.. Wait, oh my god Caroline!" He exclaimed.
"I know and I know that it was a woman, named Jules.. Have you met her?" I asked and he nodded.
"She came by the house yesterday, she's looking for Mason.. That's another thing.. Mason. They've declared him a missing person." He said and I started to panic. Tyler really thought Mason left, we didn't tell him that he was killed..
"I'm sure he's fine.." I nodded.
"Roxanne he didn't go back to Florida.. There's something wrong." Tyler insisted.
"I can't worry about your uncle right now Tyler, Rose isn't doing well, Damon left me alone with her, I'm trying to help, but I'm freaking out!" I panicked standing up abruptly.
"Hey, Rox, calm down." He said pulling me into a hug.
"I don't know what I'm doing any more!" I cried.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you upset." He said taking my hand, noticing I had a bandage wrapped around it. "What happened?"
"It was nothing.. I just cut it on some glass." I nodded taking the wrap off to see it completely healed. "See, I'm ok."
"I think you need to relax a little, you're putting too much pressure on yourself." He said.
"I know.. But it's like nothing ever stops going wrong! I try to stay calm about it, but it's just too much." I sighed frustratedly. "I should go check on Rose.."
"Do you want me to come?" He asked.
"No, just.. Look through the books, see if you can find anything about werewolves, or bites, or anything about healing." I nodded.
"Ok." He nodded giving me a half hearted smile. I continued out of the room and grabbed the new sheets that I had set on the ground.
"I brought some clean sheets." I said entering the room but Rose was no where to be found. I ran back downstairs to where I left Tyler.
"Everything ok?" He asked and I shook my head.
"Rose isn't in Damon's room." I said before pulling out my phone to call Damon, but I got his voicemail. "Hey it's me, I'm worried about Rose. I think you should come home."
"Did you hear that?" Tyler asked and I walked towards the noise.
"Rose?" I called.
"Roxanne, maybe we should-" Tyler started.
"Stay here." I nodded.
I walked out of the library into the hallway where the basement door was at the end of the hall. I heard more noises coming from behind the door. I slowly opened the door and creeped down the steps. I didn't want to set off any trigger that might make her go off on me again. I got to the bottom on the stairs and noticed an empty blood bag. I picked it up before walking further into the basement. I turned the corner to find Rose drinking blood from a bag with many empty bags around her. Clearly I was taken back from all of it and I made one small move before she turned and saw me standing there.
"Oh my god." I gasped looking at her blood covered face.
"Katerina." She spat and my eyes went wide.
"No." I said quickly but she jumped at me and I began to run back up stairs.
"Roxanne!" Tyler yelled and I ran towards him.
"Tyler run!" I yelled back but he just stayed there.
"No." He replied and I took his hand and we ran into the library but Rose quickly caught up.
"Rose, stop, stop, it's Roxanne. I'm not Katherine." I said and she stopped for a second. "You're hallucinating. I'm not Katherine. I'm not Katherine."
"Rox-" Tyler started before she lunged at us, and the only thing I could think of was to pull the curtains.
"Run." I said as the light began to burn Rose. We ran for the door but Rose beat us there.
"Follow me." Tyler said grabbing my hand.
"No, find Stefan's room, I'll hold her off." I nodded as Rose lunged at me, but I pushed her against the door with magic and bolted for the stairs. "Tyler!"
"Rox! Come on." He yelled and I ran inside the room locking the door behind me.
"Move that dresser in front of the door." I said quickly running over to open the curtains in the room.
"Is that going to hold her?" He asked.
"Not for long." I said going over to a chair and breaking the legs off to make stakes for us. "Here."
"I'll call Damon again." He said and I could hear Rose banging on the door.
"Roxanne? I know that's you and not Katherine. Roxanne, please, I need your help." Rose said from behind the door. I looked at Tyler and he looked at me. We had no idea what to do.
Tyler and I had waited around in Stefan's room for hours. Damon wasn't answering and we weren't sure if it was safe to leave the room. It was getting to be dark and we hadn't heard anything in a while. I told Tyler to wait in the room because clearly he's not as experienced with vampires as I am. I walked down to the main floor, no sign of Rose anywhere. I turned the corner and saw that the door was left wide open. While Tyler and I were trapped in Stefan's room she must of had another panic and ran off, since it was night now she could have gone anywhere. I clenched the stake tightly and turned around to see Damon.
"Oh thank God." I said dropping the stake and running over to hug him.
"Are you okay? Where's Rose?" He asked quickly.
"I don't know." I replied because honestly I couldn't answer either of those questions.
"You're ok." He breathed, hugging me tighter.
"Rox!" Tyler called running down the stairs.
"Lockwood.." Damon groaned.
"Oh, it's just you." Tyler replied and I rolled my eyes.
"What are you doing in my house?" Damon asked.
"You weren't around! Roxanne needed help!" Tyler replied angrily.
"Ok can we not do this right now?" I interrupted. "We need to find Rose before she hurts anyone."
"You go look after vampire Barbie." Damon said to Tyler. "Roxanne you're staying here."
"No way I'm coming with you." I replied.
"The safest place is to be far away from Rose right now." He replied. "Please, just listen to me."
"Ok." I nodded and he nodded back before looking at Tyler.
"Don't do anything." He scolded and started to walk towards the door.
"Call me later." Tyler said following Damon. Once they'd left I pulled out my phone to call Stefan but I got his voicemail.
"Hey Stefan, look I know you're probably busy with Isobel but I really need you to call me. It's important." I said before hanging up.
I went back into the library and noticed one of the grimoires was open and it was on a particular page. I looked at it carefully and realized what it was. It was a protection spell which I found quite odd. It was for protecting someone before they die, meaning it was possible to bring someone back to life. But the catch was, that someone else would give up their life. If we had a spell like this I could protect Elena and when Klaus takes my life I'd still comeback as a vampire. I book marked the spell because if Elijah's deal didn't pan out, we'd still have a back up plan.
I kept going through the pages of the grimoire looking for something that could cure Rose. I knew that for some reason Damon really cared about her and if she made him feel something g at all, she needed to be in his life. I couldn't bare the thought of him losing someone else. At some point I got up to go heat up the lunch that Tyler had brought me. I was worried that something bad happened to Rose because it was getting later. Eventually I fell asleep on the couch.
I woke up to noise coming from upstairs. I looked around and noticed my plate was taken and my grimoires were stacked in a neat pile. I sat up slowly and realized there was a blanket on me as well. Damon must of gotten home and didn't want to wake me up. He knew that I wasn't sleeping well anyway. So I got up and I walked upstairs to his room. I could hear voices from behind the door. He must of found Rose and now he was looking after her. I opened the door slowly and stood in the door frame.
"I'm sorry, Roxanne. I don't like taking human life, I never have." Rose said noticing I was there.
"You shouldn't be here." Damon said angrily.
"It's the worst part about it: the hunt, the need to kill, the thirst, the pleasure it brings you afterwards. I wasn't meant to be evil. It hurts." She went on.
"Stop talking about it." Damon scolded.
"Damon's a lot like me. He wants to care but when he does he runs away from it. I'm sorry for what I've done today." She sighed.
"I know." I smiled softly.
"And you need to fight. I know that you're scared but you have to do it anyway." She said as I walked closer.
"Why are you so nice to me?" She asked.
"Us humans." I replied simply.
"You can never forget it, what it's like to be human. It haunts me. It's the only thing that's kept me going. It doesn't hurt as much anymore." She told me but suddenly she started screaming in pain.
"What do we do?" I asked quickly.
"Go." He said.
"Damon..." I started.
"Just go, I got this." He yelled and I backed out of the room.
I shut the door behind me, I could hear Rose screaming in pain. I ran down stairs because I couldn't take it. She was dying and there was nothing I could do to help. Damon told me to leave, and I did. I got in my car and started my route back home. On my way back I couldn't help but stop my car on the side of the road and just sit there. A few cars went by, they slowed down, probably to see if I was ok. For some reason I started to cry.. I don't know if it was for Rose or the fact that another person was going to die. I just sat there for a while until I had the nerve to keep going. But once I had pulled up to my house I decided to turn around and go back.
I got back to the Boarding house and noticed Damon's car was gone. I ran back up to the door and opened it because they never lock their doors.. They're vampires anyway, why would they. I walked back into the library and sat on the couch. I didn't have the heart to leave Damon to deal with this on his own so I waited. It was really quiet in the house. The only sound you could hear was the clock hands moving. That is until I heard the front door open again. I stood up and waited for Damon to come inside. He'd be shocked to see me, but maybe a little relieved that I was there.
"You were supposed to leave." He said immediately when he saw me.
"I did but then I came back to make sure that you're okay." I nodded giving him a glass of scotch.
"I appreciate the gesture. I'm just glad it's over." He nodded guzzling the whole thing.
"You know I don't believe that." I shrugged.
"Go home, Roxanne. Get some rest. It's a whole new day tomorrow." He sighed.
"Damon, I'm still your friend." I replied.
"I'm well aware of that." He said irritatedly.
"And a friend usually knows when their friend is hurting." I continued.
"What do you want to hear? That I cared about Rose? That I'm upset? Well I didn't and I'm not." He spat.
"There you go, pretending to turn it off, pretending not to feel. Damon, you're so close, don't give up." I begged.
"I feel Roxanne, okay? And it sucks! What sucks even more is that it was supposed to be me. Jules was coming after me." He raised his voice.
"You feel guilty." I understood now.
"That would be human of me, wouldn't it Roxanne? And I'm not human. You want to talk about giving up? That's all you've done is given up! Go home. It's been enough doom, gloom and personal growth for one night." He said and I knew it was painful for him.
"Ok I will, but I came back here to tell you one thing, and you just need to listen." I said taking his hand in mine.
"I've had enough-" He started but I continued to cut him off.
"No matter what compulsion does to me or what happens when we're not together, I still love you Damon, and I will continue to love you until my last dying breath, okay.. Because you are my forever, and I know this is selfish of me to say but I need you to hold on to that, because one day this will be what we both want." I said looking into his eyes before pulling him into hug me. I kissed his cheek before letting him go. "So that's my secret.. Good night Damon."
"No." He said after processing everything.
"No?" I questioned.
"No, you can't just drop a bomb like that and expect me not to say anything!" He exclaimed.
"I can't give you what you want.." I shrugged.
"Why? Please, give me one good reason." He said and I could think of hundreds.
"Because I can't be who you want me to be.. It took me a lot to even consider the fact that one day, I'm gonna want to be with you for the rest of my life, because being human.. That's all I want right now.. I want to live, knowing that I don't have to give this up unless I want to." I said.
"I'm not asking you to give up being human Roxanne, I'm asking you to be with me until you can't anymore." He sighed. "Because I love you, and I haven't stopped loving you.. Ever."
"I know, but you'll never be happy, knowing that at some point I may just drop dead from something as simple as a heart attack.. I'm only human.. And that's why I can't." I explained.
"I know I can't be what you want me to be Roxanne, because I'm not human and I miss it. I miss it more than anything in the world! That is my secret!" He exclaimed and I just stood there in shock. "But there is only so much hurt a man can take."
"Then let me stay Damon.. All I want, is to be here for you, because you need me." I yelled a single tear falling from my eye.
"You can't be that for me anymore, don't you get that?" He asked. "You're with Stefan, he should be the only one you're there for."
"But it's never just been me and Stefan. You know that better than anyone else. Even when we weren't together, I always made sure that you were ok." I yelled angrily.
"For someone who doesn't have feelings for me you sure have a lot to say." He sighed going to sit on the couch so I sat on the coffee table in front of him.
"You know that what I feel for you can never truly go away.. It always comes back to me, because I fall for you harder every time!" I sighed as he inched closer to my face. "And you knew that all along.."
"Go home Roxanne." He whispered.
"I'm not leaving you again." I whispered back. "So you're just gonna have to deal with it."
"Fine." He groaned.
"Fine." I repeated with a smug look on my face.
"Ok, come on, I'll make you some dinner." He sighed.
"Damon Salvatore cooks... What can't you do." I smirked as he rolled his eyes, helping me get off the coffee table.
"I'll lock you in the basement if you don't shut up, that's something I can do." He pointed and I laughed.
"Sure you can." I smiled, walking into the kitchen with Damon right behind me.
----Author's Note----
Enjoy this chapter my lovely readers, it was one of my favorites to write(: