The carriage bumped along the cobblestone road of the city as I stared out the window. I sighed, wishing my mother had just let me ride my horse into town. But when she'd found out about my excursion to the Corzavan's, she became so overwhelmingly excited that she insisted I take a carriage. I knew what she was thinking, that I was going to the Corzavan Estate to visit Ibrin, and I didn't correct her because I didn't want to burst her bubble. But no. I was really going to visit Ezalie. It had been two days since the Descendants Festival and I needed to see how she was doing.
As the carriage took a left, I shook my head. I'd told Braz to wait to talk to her, but I hadn't meant forever. He still hadn't explained to her what had happened, and I was scared he was taking too long. The longer he waited, the more it seemed like he was guilty. And perhaps he felt guilty, but I knew he wasn't. No matter what he thought, I was resolute in believing that this was all Julietta's wrong doing that was having massive repercussions on everyone else. It made me angry that she didn't care how her actions hurt other people.
The carriage slowed and I turned to look out the right window instead of the left. The Corzavan's Estate loomed ahead of me, their small entry courtyard beautifully manicured and well kept, showing their status. Their estate was separated from the rest of the city, also a symbol of their family's wealth and position in the nobility.
I let out a slow breath as the carriage finally stopped inside the courtyard and a footman opened the door for me. I took his offered hand and nodded in thanks, but my attention soon turned inward. With a swallow, I started toward the front of the estate, not exactly sure what I was going to say. I hadn't thought of it much when I'd decided to come. All I'd wanted to do was visit my friend. But I hadn't contemplated that fact that Ezalie's parents and brother would be here and I might have to speak with them.
At the front door, I shakily reached up and pounded the golden knocker against the door. I stepped back and tucked my hands behind my back, waiting for someone to answer. It didn't take long.
A servant peeked out to greet me, surprise passing over his face. "Your Highness." He bowed. "A pleasure. Who might I summon for you?"
I let out a small sigh of relief that I could specifically ask for only Ezalie. "Lady Ezalie Corzavan, please."
"Yes, Highness. Let me lead you to a parlor as I fetch her."
I followed him inside. The entryway was long and adorned with fine tapestries and a glistening chandelier. While I'd been to the Corzavan's Estate once before, I still was surprised by the grandeur of it. Even though I lived in the castle, I was used to every corner and luxury there. Here, like all the other nice estates that we occasionally visited, it was like a completely new maze made of dazzling pieces of beauty that were unfamiliar to me.
The servant led me to a parlor near the end of the hall and on the right. I nodded appreciatively as he left me inside to go find Ezalie.
I sat on one of the settees, taking in the natural late morning light that fluttered in through the line of tall windows on two of the four walls of the room. A fireplace sat to my left, but it was unlit. The large carpet beneath my feet was stitched with hand presion detail and the pillows on my back were made of fine materials that had to have been imported. The Corzavan's were wealthy indeed.
After a few moments, the door opened once again and I stood as the servant entered, saying, "Lady Ezalie Corzavan, your Highness."
He stepped aside and a slightly stunned Ezalie slipped into the parlor, her bright green eyes wide as they found mine. She didn't say anything a moment before turning to the servant. "Thank you, Herbert. You are excused."
The servant bowed and then shuffled out the door, closing the door behind him.
When Ezalie turned to face me again, I didn't wait for the customary exchange of curtsies, but stepped up to her and wrapped her in a hug. She reciprocated the action as I rubbed her back.
"I'm glad you came," she told him quietly.
I gave her a squeeze before pulling away, though I held her elbows gently. "I've come to see how you are."
She let out a trembling breath and forced a smile. "I'm breathing."
"Ezalie, how are you really feeling?"
She pulled away, shaking her head before gesturing to the settee I'd just been sitting on. I nodded and we both walked over and sat on the cushions, facing each other slightly. When she didn't say anything, I took her hand reassuringly.
"I'm... I'm just still very confused," she admitted after a long moment. "I..." But she just shook her head without finishing.
I wondered how I should approach this situation. I wanted Braz to be the one to explain but at the same time, I didn't want to leave her feeling like Braz admired another girl over her. It wasn't the truth. But I wasn't sure which side of the line I should lean farther toward—discretion or forwardness.
She found her words before I could. "I feel absolutely foolish, Saidy," she breathed, her voice broken. "I thought that maybe, somehow, someone as amazing as Braz might like me back. I thought maybe there was a small chance that someone like me, a quiet lady, could somehow gain the charming prince's attention. I... I'd thoroughly convinced myself that I was okay just being friends. But then he gave me hope by asking me to be his bryik and I started to entertain the possibility—" She cut herself off with a sigh. "I was very foolish."
"No, Ezalie," I reassured her adamantly. "He gave you every indication that he liked you back because he does. I promise you he does."
She was shaking her head before I was finished. "It's okay, Saidy. You don't have to try and tell me anything I wish to hear. I understand now, you see." Her slightly watery, crumbling gaze met mine. "I've realized over the past few days that there are certain things that I shall never have. I am blessed in abundant ways, through my family, wealth, connections... But that doesn't give me any more right to court a prince than anyone else. I'm not..." She glanced away. "I know I'm not the most beautiful of the lords' daughters in the nobility. I know I am not the most talented of the lords' daughters. I've come to terms with that. And so I must resign myself to also let Prince Brazantine come to terms with this, and let him have the best. I must let him go so that he can find someone better."
"You are better," I said, more forcefully than I meant to. I let my voice soften, adding, "You are beautiful and kind and so much more than any other lady in the nobility. You aren't like them, but that is a good thing. That was why Braz asked you to be his bryik, Ezalie. He wanted someone that wasn't proud or vain or greedy. He wanted someone like you, who chose to be his friend first and respected his boundaries. I was serious when I said that he's never treated any other lady like he treats you."
She brewed on this for a moment, but her answer came out even more resigned. "If all of this were true, then why did he change his mind? I just don't understand."
I sighed, deciding that I would give her at least part of the truth. I couldn't sit here, seeing her so confused when I knew. "He didn't want to kiss her. I promise you. She flung herself upon him and he didn't know how to fix it. He was scared. I promise," I reiterated.
Ezalie still didn't look completely convinced, but there was a slight sparkle of hope in her eye. "So why hasn't he talked to me? Why hasn't... He hasn't sent me a letter since the festival."
I was learning that their letter exchanges were a very important part of their relationship and for a moment I grew frustrated at Braz for abandoning it in this trial. But I calmed myself, knowing that Braz had never gone through something like this, and he was struggling to go about fixing it. He was rarely good at conflict resolution.
"He'll explain," I told her. "Right now he's..." I shook my head. "I think he just cares so much for you that he's scared he's going to lose you. He doesn't know how to fix it."
"All I want is to talk to him. Just like we used to," she whispered, sniffling as tears lined her bottom lids.
I squeezed her hand tighter. "He'll come around eventually when he knows what to say. All I ask is that you don't give up on him yet. Please."
She was quiet for a long moment, hesitant to agree. But then she nodded as she wiped at a tear that escaped. "Alright. But I'm not sure how much longer I can let myself hope. Hopes hurt very much when they crash."
My heart broke at that and I pulled her into another hug. "I know they do. But I'll make sure he doesn't ruin this. You're my friend and I will not let my brother's mule headed decisions hurt you anymore."
She let out a slight laugh. "Mule headed? I don't believe I've ever heard Prince Brazantine be called mule headed."
I smiled as I pulled away. "All boys can be from time to time."
"Yes, you're quite right," she replied with a small giggle. She dried her cheeks, her spirits slightly lifted which left a lingering smile on my face. But my smile faltered when she said, "Speaking of boys, did my eyes deceive me or did I see you kiss Larklind at the festival?"
I swallowed bashfully. "I... I, um..."
She squealed, grasping my other hand. "Oh, you did! Oh, that's amazing, Saidy. I'm so happy for you."
I gave her a shaky grin. "Thank you. I'm not really sure what... what you would call us. He hasn't asked to court me yet nor do I think he will because there are certain... complications with our relationship."
"Whatever do you mean?"
"I'm expected to court and betroth someone in the nobility and... Larklind is not in the nobility. He's a guard."
Ezalie shook her head furiously. "Surely that's all trivial when they see how much you two adore each other."
"I wish it was, but my parents are very traditional."
Ezalie's smile dimmed slightly. "I'm sorry. But surely you will find a way to make it work. You two are destined for each other."
I laughed nervously, responding, "I'm not sure if we are 'destined,' but I do hope it can work. I've never felt the way I feel about him toward anyone else."
"Aw," she cooed. "Do you love him?"
She asked it so off-handedly that it caught me by surprise and my eyes widened and my face was engulfed in flames. "L-love? I... N-no, I don't think..."
She grinned. "It's okay not to know. But I think there is a very high chance that if the two of you continue in the manner that you display toward each other now, fate and time will cause you to fall madly in love."
"I believe you've read far too many books, Ezalie."
"Perhaps," she admitted around a laugh, "but books have to be based on something, right? Every once in a while, there are real life, whirlwind love stories and I don't want to miss one if it happens to someone I care for."
My mind caught on the phrase "someone I care for" and I suddenly wasn't thinking about Larklind but her. About the true friendship I was building with her. I smiled and squeezed her hand.
"We'll see," was all I ended up saying.
~.✧.~
I stayed at the Corzavan Estate well into late afternoon, talking with Ezalie and even spending lunch with her. Much to my relief, she explained that her parents were visiting her grandparents a few towns over and her brother had gone with some friends on a hunting trip and wouldn't be back until that night. She'd admitted to me that she'd been glad to spend the day with me instead of the empty house and I was glad to have been some company for her.
Though a servant offered, Ezalie escorted me to the door herself when I told her that it was getting late and my parents hadn't expected me to be gone so long. We embraced each other and I told her that I'd invite her to the castle soon so that Gentry could be a part of our event. She enthusiastically agreed and then we said goodbye.
I arrived back at the castle about an hour before dinner. The day was beautiful and the sun was high, so instead of going back into the castle into my stuffy room, I planned to trapeze the lawns and gardens and enjoy that nice weather.
I'd only just begun my walk when a pair of hands slipped over my eyes from behind. I jumped, a little squeal coming out of my mouth and for a moment, my mind raced back to the Brickenfoltians. My heart was on the verge of leaping from my chest until a breathy voice said, "Guess who."
I let out a large breath, deflating in relief. "Oh, Larklind, it's just you." His hands fell away and I spun around to face him. "You have a habit of startling me."
He was grinning. "I apologize, princess."
I rolled my eyes at him, yet the urge to hug him only increased. But we were near the front of the castle, in plain sight, so I hesitated. Instead, I asked, "What are you doing up here?"
"I just finished my shift," he said, gesturing toward the front gate.
"Oh, right."
He glanced around to find no one near us and then took my hand, pulling me until we were hidden in the shadow of the castle and behind a row of bushes. He laced our fingers together on both hands and then rested his forehead against mine. "Hi."
I laughed. "Hi, reselos."
He leaned back, chuckling. "Handsome?"
"Yes." I beamed proudly. "I thought that if you had some names for me, I could have some for you. So I searched in the Carsethanian books in the library this morning after breakfast until I found the perfect name."
"I'm impressed," he breathed, his smile wide.
"Thank you. I'm glad I've accomplished something." I stood myself up on my toes and kissed the end of his nose, only making him beam more. When I pulled away, I changed the subject. "So I have a little time before dinner. Do you want to do something? If you're not busy, of course."
"I'm not. Even if I was, any other plan would be discarded for you."
I wrinkled my nose jokingly. "I think that's a little extreme. I'm just me."
"But that's what I like about you. You're you," he muttered, referencing our talk before our first kiss the other day as he brushed a loose strand of hair off my forehead. "What would you like to do?" he asked, pulling away a bit further.
I swallowed, thinking. I hadn't asked with any plans in mind so I wasn't sure. My gaze wandered as I thought. When my eyes met the bush behind him, with little purple blooms bunched in with the deep green of the leaves, an idea formulated. I met his eyes again, though my confidence was trepidatious. "What if... Well, the other day you wanted to..."
He tilted his head. "What is it?"
I released a breath and went for it, knowing that I trusted him. "Would you like to come see some of my paintings?"
He blinked before his eyes lit up in excitement like the spark of a match. "Really? You'll let me see them?"
I nodded.
He grinned. "Yes, please, I'd love to see them!"
His excitement was adorable and I had to laugh. "I can't promise they're anything like what hangs in the rest of the gallery."
"They'll be better because they were painted by you," he said simply, but the effect the words had on my heart were tremendous, making it a fluttering, wild mess of both admiration and nervous anticipation.
"Come on." I took his hand and then we slid into the side door of the castle.
Though I knew there was nothing wrong with a guard being in the castle, I felt very mischievous dragging him along in the upper levels, where, generally, only the royal family, servants, and advisors roamed. I knew that if we ran into someone, we wouldn't be in trouble, per se, but anxious energy still built up in my chest.
Luckily, I found the gallery fast, and we slipped in unnoticed.
I shut the door securely behind us and then turned to Larklind. But his attention was elsewhere as he gazed around. "Wow," he breathed. "These are amazing."
I looked around, trying to act like I was taking this in for the first time. The hall was long and lined with large and small paintings alike. The larger ones were generally portraits of past royals but the smaller ones were just as impressive. The chandeliers hanging from the ceilings were large and illuminated the hall so that there was enough light to view. At the very end of the gallery, tall windows let in even more light. Near the natural light was where I always painted, looking out the windows for reference and inspiration.
"My work is down here," I told him, gesturing toward the other end of the hall.
He nodded and gladly followed after me, though his eyes still took in each painting that we passed.
We were nearly to the end of the hall when I heard his laugh echo behind me. I turned to see him staring at a painting on the left and my gaze followed his. When I was met with a painting of my own face, I blushed furiously and groaned. "Can we not look at this one?"
"No, I like it," he said with a wide grin.
I hid my face with one of my hands. "I hate it."
"Why? You look beautiful."
"You always say I look beautiful."
"Because you always do." He beamed.
Though I was smiling, I shook my head and grasped his wrist. "Come on."
We walked hand-in-hand to the end of the hall where the three large windows resided and I gestured off to the left. "I have a small corner to put my paintings in when I finish them. If it were up to me, I wouldn't hang them up but my mother insists."
Larklind's hand fell from mine as he stepped closer to the paintings hanging on the wall. I tapped my fingertips together nervously as he took them in. I didn't have very many that I'd let my mother hang up because I didn't believe very many were good enough. But I'd consented to these because while they weren't perfect, they were better than the rest.
Larklind viewed each one with care, but he lingered near a particular painting. I stepped closer and looked around him to see which one it was. I blushed. "I told you I'm one dimensional."
He chuckled slightly, still staring at the painting of the daladia bloom. "No, you're not. Saidy, these..." He shook his head in astonishment. "These are breathtaking. You seriously under grade your talents. They're incredible."
I shrugged. "Thanks. I try my best."
"I think my father would love you even more if he saw what you could do."
I laughed slightly. "Possibly. But... I think I'm okay just showing you for now if that's alright."
His eyes met mine, catching in the late afternoon light of the windows. "Yes, that's alright. Thank you for showing me."
"You're welcome. Maybe..." I hesitated but then decided it wouldn't hurt. "Maybe I could paint one for you sometime? To add to the art in your apartment?"
He stared at me for a moment before chuckling breathlessly. "Really? You'd do that for me?"
I nodded a little bashfully.
In response, he engulfed me in a hug, making me giggle. I embraced him back as he buried his nose in the crook of my neck. I let out a soft sigh, squeezing him tighter. There wasn't much in the world that compared to Larklind's hugs.
When he eventually pulled away, we were both beaming. I nodded toward the window seat to our right and we walked over. "What do you want me to paint for you?"
"Anything you want as long as you're the one to paint it."
I smiled wider. "Well, then, I will not be doing a portrait because I've discovered I'm quite rotten at them."
"I bet they're better than you think."
"No." I shook my head. "I did one for Braz last year for his birthday and I think he burned it."
Larklind laughed, the sound filling my heart. "Alright, then, no portraits if you really don't want to. Perhaps the gardens? In the rain?"
I gave him a knowing look and grinned, scooting closer to him on the bench. "That sounds like a great painting." I leaned even closer and, with a grin, brushed a kiss to his lips just because I could.
He smiled wide, looking as if he wanted to kiss me back, but then his eyes flicked off to the side and his expression fell. I furrowed my eyebrows, confused, and then followed his gaze. When I was met with a figure standing not ten yards away, I swallowed.
"Kartren," I breathed, my voice shaking.
"Asaidylina, what is going on here?"
I slowly stood and Larklind followed, bowing. "Your Highness."
But Kartren barely acknowledged Larklind before his cautious yet intense gaze met mine again. "Asaidylina, explain."
I swallowed. "I... I didn't think anyone else would be in here." But that was the stupidest thing I could have said.
"So... The two of you? You're..."
I glanced at Larklind and nodded slowly, not needing him to finish that question.
He took a step back and while he tried to mask his facial expression, he wasn't very successful and I watched as a hundred emotions flooded his features. Shock, anger, fear, and disappointment. The last one stung the worst.
"Kartren, please, just listen," I rushed to say, stepping toward him. "Please let me tell our parents. I know they won't be happy, but I think I can change their minds‒"
"Change their minds?" He shook his head, pinching the bridge of his nose. "They are the king and queen. They are the foundations of tradition in Austora. It doesn't matter how they feel; they must uphold the system. And so should you."
"But this is different, Kartren. I... Please, I know they'll understand if you just let me be the one to tell them, to explain."
"An heir is required to uphold all honesty," he said lowly.
"You wouldn't be lying to them. Just withholding the truth for a short time while I figure out how to tell them. I promise I will, Kartren. Just please let me."
He let out a long breath, shaking his head. "You have a duty to your country, Saidy. A duty to our family."
"I know‒"
"No matter how much I dislike the idea of marrying out of resource, all of us must follow the rules. They will not see you as any exception to this."
My heart clenched and I had to swallow the stinging in my throat. "But they might..."
He gave me a discouraging look.
I let out a trembling breath. "Whether they like it or not, please let me be the one to tell them. I need to be the one to tell them."
"Saidy..." But he sighed. "Fine... I suppose if you promise to do it soon, I can withhold it for now."
"Thank you."
"But," he added, his eyes disappointed, "if they become suspicious and ask me questions, I cannot lie to them. You've been gone a lot recently and there is nothing I can do if they notice and inquire after you through me. I will tell them of this in order to uphold integrity as the entire royal family should." This part was not so subtly a reprimand at me and I cowered slightly. He straightened his jacket and added, "I suggest you talk to them quickly."
His eyes flicked from me to Larklind and then back to me. With a shake of his head, he turned and walked down the length of the gallery, leaving faster than he'd come. I wasn't even sure what he'd come for, but it was long forgotten now.
My lip trembled as I stared at the shadow he left behind, both in the air and in my heart. How had that happened? It felt like a flash before my eyes. How had he come in and come out so silently, so fast, and now all of this could be ruined?
I slowly turned to Larklind. I opened my mouth to say something but I wasn't sure what. My vision was blurring from tears.
Gently, with his brows furrowed in concern, he pulled in into a hug. I let him hug me and I clenched my fists to his shirt, feeling weak. Had I ruined everything? Would Kartren really hide it? Was everything Lark and I had found to be over so fast, so soon? I couldn't lose him, not like this.
A tear escaped and I buried my face in his shoulder. "My parents want me to marry a noble," I whispered in a sad attempt at an explanation.
"I know," he muttered back. "I've always known. But I thought maybe..." He never finished.
But I heard every word he didn't say. He'd thought maybe we could be different. That maybe things could change for us. I'd thought the same thing...
How foolish we were to hope for something greater.
A/N Hmmm... Well this was an interesting chapter o-o First, let me just say that BRAZ IS BEING A MULE HEAD but like I also understand that he's scared but he needs to get over it fast before he loses Ezalie *huff* Also, Saidy and Ezalie's friendship is just so sweet!! I'm so proud of Saidy's growth and that they've gotten so close *heart eyes* But..... *sigh* Should I even dare talk about what just happened? How do you guys feel about this?? Do you think Kartren will tell??? AH I can't take the anticipation!! *covers face with hands* Are you guys as scared as I am?? Leave all your feelings about this chapter right here in the comment pit XD ----->