𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 6: Next chapter
Omniscient
Santa Barbara, 𝐂𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐚
June 3rd, 12:34 pm
❣︎
The eyes of her still body slowly blinked open in the secluded, silent room, with the exception of the constant beeping from whatever hooked up to her. She couldn't even get her eyes completely open before her body lunged over whatever bed she lay in, to release her insides onto the dark hardwood ground of the pitch black room.
A strenuous scream flew past her occupied mouth at the pain that shot through her, making her eyes pop open to stare into the darkness. In an instant, the beeping of the machine began to increase as a direct result of her heart rate speeding up through panic. She wanted to move from the position she lay in, but couldn't from the excessive pain she underwent in just those seconds alone as she began to dry heave from her puking.
"Relax!" A door flew open, bringing her blurred vision towards the source of light that peeked in following the body. "Relax, you're fine. It's me sweetheart, just relax." The soothing whisper of the voice of her mother sounded melodic in her ears, as she carefully helped the mess of a woman to lay back the way she was.
Her lips parted to speak, but nothing came out as her chest began to rise and fall even quicker. She felt her stomach turn in sickness as her body slightly began to tremble with the lightheadedness that took over her unstable mind. The sweat beads that danced along her forehead dripped a trail down her face as she began to gasp for air, her lungs feeling as though they were getting nothing no matter how hard she focused and tried.
She couldn't see who led the footsteps that rushed in, nor could her disorientated mind focus in on them.
"Amerie, I need you to close your eyes and just focus in on your breathing." An unknown voice coached as they began to gently rub along her temple.
She felt the brush of her eyelashes against her skin as her eyes fluttered closed so gently, allowing the soothing words of whoever rubbed at her head to get into her mind. She followed the pattern they created with their own mouth, using the specific breathing pattern to control her own that tried to take over her mind.
1, 2, 3, 4, 5 in, hold.... 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 out
Squeezing her eyes shut, she released a shaky breath as she just laid there. The silence in the room allowed her to get into her own head to calm down as she lay still, ignoring the sounds of the cleanup happening next to her. She didn't move when feeling her own mouth and face getting cleaned up, staying in her own tranquility to get herself together.
Her eyelids slowly fluttered back open, feeling her once staggered breathing come back down to be normalized. Or at least as normal as it would get in those moments, being that she could still feel the pressure and tension that balled up in her chest. The dim light of the room allowed for her to make out the fact she wasn't in there alone, despite still not knowing where she was outside of it being a hospital-like setting.
"Amerie, are you able to hear and understand what I am saying to you sweetheart?" The voice and body of a nurse stood before her, capturing her attention quickly.
She shot her eyes over towards the woman, but she could only stare. She found her anxiety rising by the second from her nerves increasing, her lack of trust for anyone who said to be in a position to help her only becoming greater by the day. Her eyes gradually trailed over towards her mother who stood up to speak for her.
"She can hear and understand you fine, she's just a bit tapped out mentally right now. You can continue on speaking though." She spoke up, seeing as Amerie wouldn't be the one to do it.
Nodding, the nurse placed her eyes back down to her clipboard, before looking back to Amerie. "Okay great, so from what we've looked at you have both new injuries and old ones that have never been healed. As of right now, the most serious of which is bruising on your ribs." She informed her, waiting for some type of response or reaction that she still didn't get.
Amerie's dull brown eyes just stared, silently.
"Um, you also have bruising and injury to the face. Currently you suffer from a black eye, busted lip, and heavy swelling which will go down in the coming days. Thankfully, nothing is broken or fractured in the face and it isn't looking like you'll need surgery. All of your injuries can be healed with proper rest, care, and therapy." The nurse gave a tight-lipped smile to Amerie, who finally gave the smallest nod to show she understood.
She looked to the nurse for anything else, but was met with nothing once she turned on her heels to leave out. And the second she did, her mother immediately rushed up towards her with tears filled in her eyes as she embraced her daughter as gently as possible.
"Oh God, my baby!" She cried out as she raised her head from the hug to grasp Amerie's face in both her palms. "I'm so so so sorry I don't even- I know that doesn't even change anything but-."
"Please...don't apologize." The raspiness of her voice forced out a cough from her lack of anything to drink for 2 days. "I need water."
Veronica quickly raised up with a nod to grab the water she had in her purse. She didn't hesitate in screwing the cap off for Amerie, before placing the bottle along the bottom lip of her daughter who carefully tilted her head up. Her eyes squeezed shut in pain with every swallow, from the dryness that filled her throat.
She intook the entire bottle unknowingly, until pulling her head away. Her body sunk back into the bed she lay in, just intaking the feeling of her muscles on anything that wasn't the hardness of a cold cot or the ground.
"I brought you some breakfast because I know you're hungry. Kimora and some of the boys are on their way with Lani too." She informed her daughter while she maneuvered around the room until finding exactly what she was looking for.
At the mention of food, Amerie could feel her stomach rumbling just from the thought. And it only got louder once the plates of stuffed French toast, breakfast potatoes, bacon, and fruit was placed in front of her. She could tell it was freshly made from the warmth that still radiated off of it, making her appetite only increase.
"Momma I haven't eaten something actually cooked in so long." She breathed out, immediately digging straight into the plate.
Veronica only shook her head seeing how fast she ate, and taking the time to really recognize how much weight Amerie did lose. She didn't look sickly, but compared to the way she'd been shaped and built her entire life, the difference was very evident.
"It won't be today, but we're long overdue for a very serious conversation. About everything." Veronica raised an eyebrow, making Amerie's fast chewing immediately slow down almost on command.
Her once lowered eyes gradually raised up to look into the face of the woman who stood before her. She enjoyed the couple minutes she was able to go just forgetting about everything, and being in another world for just a couple seconds.
"I know." She spoke just above a whisper, because there were conversations to be had with multiple people.
There was so much to be said, and so much that was left unsaid, once that judge banged that gavel to change her life a year and a half ago. There was so much change in her mentally and physically to where she, herself, didn't know how to approach it all. Let alone allow anyone else in to help her approach such.
"Am I...out? Is everything over?" She hesitantly asked the question she had yet to get the answer to.
But from the warmth of the smile that slowly spread along Veronica's face, she got her answer. "You are baby, but-."
"Mamamamamammama!" Amerie's mood immediately altered once the raspy screaming voice followed by her quick footsteps filled the room.
"Lani you have to be careful." Veronica put her hand out cautiously, seeing the little girl about to jump on the bed.
"She's good momma, come baby." Amerie smiled, helping the little girl up as best she could through her pain.
Malani immediately stood on the bed to wrap her small arms around her mothers neck as best as she could. The only thing that stopped Amerie from breaking down was seeing how many other people filled the room, most of whom she'd rather not see. But she didn't say anything nor make a scene, because it was unnecessary. Especially with her daughter and mother in the room.
"Miss you" Malani mumbled, placing a big kiss on her mothers cheek that Amerie quickly returned.
"I missed you too boo boo...so much." She sighed, before helping Malani down to lay in the bed next to her.
Taking a deep breath, Amerie moved her focus from her daughter up towards everyone else in the room. Kimora, Remi, Isaiah, and Mook filled the space being that Veronica chose to step out to allow the younger ones their space. She didn't want to be in the middle of whatever it was they needed to talk about or discuss.
"Am I free or not, that's all I need to know right now." Her tone came out rough, as her appetite vanished almost instantly from the silence.
She watched them all look between one another, just waiting for someone to finally speak which only thinned Amerie's patience. But she kept her calm, seeing as her daughter laid right next to her clearly going down into a nap just that fast.
"Can someone fucking-."
"You out, for good. Corbin still doing his thing to ensure everything straight legally, but it's gon be soon cause he got a little more to do. But it's fine cause you gon be in the house anyway on bedrest and shit." Remi spoke up to Amerie who felt an indescribable feeling shoot through her body instantaneously.
Hearing those words, having that confirmation, was something that took its time and course to register in her mind. But she wouldn't rush it, she instead squeezed her eyes shut just allowing the words to replay in her mind.
"Everything that happened to you two nights ago played into a ploy to get you out of there in the most legal way possible. It was all intentional, because we needed a way to get you here. Yo baby father wants you to sue the prison for negligence and he gon connect you with lawyers and all that. The rest of everything gon be up to you I guess, ion know." Isaiah explained as all eyes never left from Amerie who sat silently as her eyes slowly fluttered back open.
Staring blankly, Amerie held no reaction to the words of Isaiah. She honesty stopped listening after hearing everything was intentional and orchestrated by Syre, and she didn't want to hear anything else. She didn't have any desire to hear anything more, because there wasn't anything else that could make her feel differently.
"I didn't even think it was possible to hate that man more than I already do, yet here the fuck we are-."
"You got to understand he ain't do this out of spite though, he busy tryna help you M." Remi sighed, making her head snap in her direction to look at him questionably.
Her hold on her daughter tightened to bring her small body up a little more, as her eyes danced between everyone else. "I don't...care."
"Yo-."
"Can all of you get out so I can be with Kimora." She cut Mook off before she had to hear anything else that took up for the father of her daughter.
The feelings she had towards him declined more and more as the days went by. What started as her trying to convince herself to fall out of love with him, became a deep nasty feeling towards him. Her claim of hatred was genuine, because that's all she seen when it came to him now. And it hurt, but the pain was never dwelled on enough for her to feel it or care.
All it took was the eye contact of her best friend to make her eyes fill with water almost on command. At the first blink, Kimora didn't waste any time in rushing over to embrace Amerie who let out everything. She allowed her to soak her shirt in her tears as she blinked back her own.
Almost 2 years of pain released into the chest of her best friend, years of nothing but pain and trauma that she wasn't prepared for ever. Nobody could prepare themselves for the things she had to go through and endure, being caged away for all that time and subjected to all that she was subjected to. She cried tears of everything she kept bottled up inside that nobody knew, tears of regret, tears of just hurt. Tears of 27 years of trauma being forced back onto her in the timeline of almost 2.
"You're out now mama, all that shit is over." Kimora whispered as her hands danced along the moving back of her best friend who sobbed loudly, caring nothing for anyone else hearing her. "It's over forever." She sniffled, allowing lone tears to run down her face as she pulled away to hold both sides of Amerie's wet crying face.
"You are the strongest woman I know Merie, and that shit will never ever ever change. You spent almost 2 years serving time for something you can't even remember, 2 years of so much trauma and pain that I know none of us know about and you're here today. You have such a testimony from all that you've been through, but you've made it so far and I'm so proud of you." Kimora cried out as she tried to wipe the tears of her friend that seemed to fall uncontrollably.
Shaking her head, Amerie grabbed the box of tissue next to the bed as she tried to get her emotions in control herself. "D- Do you remember when I was pregnant with- pregnant with her, and her father made me keep her, and you t- told me you believe she's my gift? From God?" Amerie struggled to get out to Kimora who wiped her own tears.
"Mhmm." She hummed out through her nod, finally taking a step back to sit in the seat next to bed once seeing Amerie getting herself together.
Taking a deep breath, she tried to stabilize herself as she took a slow sip from the water that stayed next to the bed. Looking down, she placed a gentle kiss along Malani's forehead before looking back to Kimora.
"I'd be dead right now, Kimora, if it wasn't for her. At this point in my life, this is the only only only reason I still choose to breathe and still choose to stay here. I don't want to be here, I don't have any desire of living. I feel like I don't know who I am anymore, everything is so numb aside from the happiness I only get through her. If I could live in a world where it was only her and I, I promise you I wouldn't hesitate at the chance or opportunity." She spoke truthfully to her best friend who knew, but hearing it verbally still hurt so much because her friend didn't deserve to feel that way.
"I haven't left her behind because I made a promise to her the day she was born, that she will always have mommy if no one else and I refuse to take that away from her. Not permanently." She blinked, feeling that tear slowly begin to trickle from her eyes as she stared down at her sleeping daughter. "I owe my entire life to her, every single thing to her." Amerie shook her head, using the backs of her hands to wipe at her face again.
"And even while being locked up, you've been such an amazing mother and it shows. She adores you so much, and it probably hasn't even registered to her fully yet that this means you're home now. But when she understands, you don't understand how happy she's going to be, she asks about you and her father every single day. Literally." Kimora shook her head, bringing the smallest smile along Amerie's face. The first she managed to get out the entire day.
Sighing out, her thumb gently rubbed along the cheek of her daughter in a comforting manner. "It happened so fast and unexpectedly, everything. He didn't tell me anything." She mumbled, still not understanding everything. But she didn't have it in her to ask any questions, she'd much rather just bask in the fact she was free.
"I didn't know nothing either until literally last night, and me and Remi got into a huge argument over it because that shit was stupid. With the way those niggas move and work, and the things they have access to...there was just definitely a better way. And I wasn't hearing differently." She shook her head, beginning to feel herself growing hot all over again.
Knowing how much Amerie had to fight for herself in there, she didn't understand why the best solution was just adding more trauma. She was grateful for her friend to be home, and thanked nobody but God that she was alive, but it came to the question of at what cost?
Releasing a small breath, Amerie only leant back into the comforting bed as she let her thoughts roam. "I don't even know what my life is right now...I don't know anything-."
"And that's okay, you're fine mama. You don't need to have anything figured out right now, as long as you're living comfortably physically right now? We can handle everything else later, but it'll be handled. Especially your mental health because I know right now everything is just...I can tell you aren't good Amerie." She breathed out what she couldn't bare to continue sugar coating.
"I'm not." She responded truthfully, knowing no lie could fool her best friend. "But that's something I just can't get into right now, I just want to have a nap or something and just rest right now." She sighed, glancing down to Malani who stirred in her sleep.
"Of course, get your rest cause I have to go grab the boys from school anyways. When you wake up there's gonna be a change of clothes, and Remi and one of the others are gonna bring you to the house-."
"I can't be in that house...I can't live there." She shook her head as her voice gradually descended lower just thinking about it.
She couldn't bare stepping foot in that house again, having nothing but a reminder of her life before everything changed for the worse. In just one night, the snap of a finger everything was flipped. She knew nothing was rearranged or cleaned out aside from some of the baby's stuff, and she was sure it wasn't much since the house turned into a crime scene that same night and she wasn't sure who was able to get in or out.
"I knew you wouldn't want to stay in that house, so your bd got you a penthouse for you and Lani. It's 4 bedrooms and 4 and a half bath, really nice place and big...like 100 mil." She shook her head while standing up, bringing Amerie back to a lax state although she hated the fact Syre bought it.
She didn't want his name on anything of hers it didn't need to be on, especially while they were on bad terms. She already had her most permanent tie to him through their daughter, which was why when it came to anything concerning her alone, she wanted that freedom. And nothing to do with him.
"I want to be away from everyone...and everything once I'm healed, with just Malani." She muttered what seemed like something she could only dream of.
Nodding, Kimora placed her purse over her shoulder as she eyed the two. "How do you feel currently?"
"...I don't know." Amerie voiced truthfully.
She knew she felt so good being out, but she couldn't identify anything else. She was so numb to where she couldn't feel the emotions she wanted to, not anything aside from what came with her daughter. That'd been her only happiness for so long, that really nothing else even mattered or did anything for her. And that was something she knew for a fact.
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Amerie yawned out as she ran her hands along her fresh set of clothes she wore after her shower. She made both Remi and Mook wait with Malani until she finished up all she needed to do, not wanting to go home bringing in any of the energy connected to those clothes she was forced into in that prison. She couldn't go home carrying any of that physically, not on her body.
"Yo ass finally ready?" Remi spoke in annoyance, while Mook kept his head buried in his phone.
"Mhmm." She nodded, looking over to Malani who remained fast asleep.
"Aight, we gon take you and the lil one to the crib cause it's gon be safer there. There'll be nurses in and out and security-."
"I'd rather not have the security." She blinked up towards him, as she carefully moved her body towards the edge of the bed.
She winced out in excruciating pain from how bad of a beating she'd taken, but she was so used to such pain and trauma that the severity didn't hit her the way it should have. She knew with her injuries she shouldn't had even been moving, but she was so accustomed to the neglect and feigning for herself, that she found a way. The same way she found one for the last year and half on her own, without anyone but the comfort of her child in her spirit.
Both Remi and Mook just watched her, before glancing towards one another, then back at her. "Yo baby father want you to-."
"I don't care what he wants." She hissed, blinking her eyes up towards Mook who stared down at her with a look that seemed as if it could kill. "Him and his weak ass security don't do a damn thing for me, and it's a shame while injured I have more confidence in keeping my baby safe than trusting in his bullshit." She spat in pure disgust at the topic of his name alone.
The two men just watched her again, choosing against arguing about something that ultimately didn't have anything to do with them. That was their cousins baby momma, and their drama.
"That's that nigga King business, long as my lil niece straight." Mook mumbled as he carefully picked up Malani's sleeping body from off the bed where she previously lay with her mother.
Rolling her eyes, Amerie chose to ignore him as she grasped Remi's hand that extended out for her to stand up slowly. Her teeth sunk down into her bottom lip hard, refraining from releasing anything more than a small grunt of pain. She knew she should had probably been on some type of bedrest, but she also knew they weren't even in a real hospital. It instead looked exactly like the place they went to when Syre got shot that one time.
"Where are we right now?" She glanced up towards Remi who sat her down into the wheelchair next to the bed.
Her eyes never left him as his left hers to look towards Mook, who immediately shook his head behind Amerie. Running his tongue over his lips slowly, Remi only shook his head no. "Don't worry bout it, we getting outta here now." He kept it short, but she wasn't dumb.
All of this was enough confirmation that whatever happened when she "snitched," still wasn't enough for the father of her daughter to give up this lifestyle. It was enough for her to know he spent the last year and half building everything back up from the ground.
Despite her not consciously saying anything, nor purposely forcing his empire to crumble, it didn't mean she didn't find comfort thinking it was all over and done with. But she knew she should have known better, because over everything that was his genuine love. That's where he found purpose and comfort, no matter how much he claimed to hate the lifestyle.
Chuckling bitterly, she glanced back towards Mook who held her daughter securely. "Can I have my child?" She spoke calmly, gaining his attention from toying with Malani's lip.
"We going to the car now, just chill." He muttered, walking ahead with the sleeping baby.
Amerie wanted to say something else, but decided against it. She reminded herself constantly that the quicker she got this part of things over with, the quicker she wouldn't have to deal with any of them until she wanted to. The quicker she could just move on with her life.
Taking a deep breath, Remi positioned himself behind the wheelchair to push her out behind Mook who led the way. Amerie's eyes curiously roamed the interior of the building that resembled a hospital, and her eyes naturally fell upon some of the people there.
Nobody shied away from shooting her the dirtiest glances, or turning to clearly speak about her presence in the place. She stuck out like a sore thumb, and she knew that. She knew everyone knew what she did because their cases were basically everywhere, and with the way so many already disliked her before everything happened, she knew it didn't take long for it to spread amongst them. Especially with the women.
"Don't pay these folks no mind, you straight. You with us." She heard Remi's voice from behind her with the deeper they pushed through everyone.
Rubbing her lips together, Amerie sat peacefully in the seat. Nobody in there put the slightest bit of fear in her heart, and she'd be lying had she said she cared for their eyes on her. She simply wanted to be gone, from everyone and everything.
"Wasn't paying anyone any mind anyways." She mumbled, just as they approached the entrance that Mook held open for the two.
Amerie only glanced at him blankly, before putting her focus back towards the black SUV parked right in front for them with the door already open, and a guard standing there. She watched Mook go on the other side to strap Malani into her carseat, before she got her own help.
She held onto Remi and the other unknown man tightly, to slowly limp towards the open door. The pain never stopped until she was seated in the back with her daughter, who she immediately peered over to just stare at.
"You good?" Remi put his thumbs up, waiting for her to do the same before he shut the door back.
Amerie's eyes never came off of Malani, and with the longer she stared, she could feel her eyes begin to water up. The last time she witnessed her daughter even seated in a carseat was when she was just over a month old, and now she was about a month shy of turning 2.
She didn't do anything but just caress the hair of her baby gently, as she trailed her eyes to stare out the cracked open window. She inhaled the freshness of the air as reality set in of her newfound freedom. Of her new life. Of a new beginning.
Los Angeles, California
11:01 pm
"Lani, stop jumping mama." Amerie giggled as she gently held her daughter's hand from her seated position under the covers of the bed.
She stared up at Malani who jumped around the bed in the dimly lit room from the SpongeBob theme song. Amerie could only shake her head with her smile never leaving, seeing how energetic the little body was and had been since waking up.
She hated she couldn't do much with her, especially with this being her first day with her. But it seemed Malani cared little to none from the way she still found her own way to entertain both herself, and her mother, until she fell back onto the bed right next to Amerie.
"Look at you out of breath, all this energy since we got home." She shook her head as she raised the thick comforter to allow Malani under with her. But instead of laying on the other side of the bed, she immediately crawled into her mothers lap to stare up at her. "These eyes, your daddy was good for something I guess." Amerie mumbled, kissing Malani's cheek gently.
She could stare at her daughter all day because she found her so adorable and beautiful, and the fact she made her never failed to amaze her. Despite what she went through with Syre, if presented the opportunity, she didn't think she'd choose anyone else to be Malani's father. Because she still fell in love with whoever he was, and he was just as good of a father as she was a mother considering their circumstances.
Hearing a word she knew, Malani quickly looked up into Amerie's face curiously. "Home?" She questioned. "Tay...here, wimme?" Malani looked up with clear hopefulness in her sparkling eyes as she pointed to herself.
"Home princess, I'm staying here with you forever." She smiled to Malani whose eyes immediately widened with a wide smile.
"An dada?!" She spoke excitedly, as she began on looking around for her father in the room. Turning her head back, Amerie put her attention back on her before she could get disappointed.
"No baby, but we'll go visit dada all the time I promise." She kissed her forehead gently, giving her indented cheeks a small brush over with her thumb. "But it's just me and you right now, okay?" She smiled to the little girl who quickly nodded.
Amerie knew she still didn't really register the fact that her mother would always be there, but she didn't try to push it. She'd eventually pick up the routine and habit of having Amerie there.
Laying back into the soft comfort of the bed, Amerie kept her arms wrapped around Malani lazily. Although in pain, she nearly moaned from the way her muscles relaxed into the plushness of the bed and loaded pillows that she hadn't felt in so long. Her eyes began to flutter closed until the blaring sound of her phone ringing made her jump.
"Who the hell..." She sighed, considering she just got that phone only hours ago.
Grabbing it, she eyed the unknown number that spread along the screen. With her new number, she didn't have anyone's contact, so she answered considering it really could have been anyone. Staring down at the phone waiting for the FaceTime call to connect, she gently rocked Malani in her arms under the comforter they lay under.
"Hello?" She answered tiredly, seeing some shuffling happening on the other end until his hardened face appeared on the screen.
"...Where you at?" Her skin crawled hearing the raspiness of the voice she was speaking to. Running her tongue along her lips slowly, she leaned back more into the pillows as her grip on the phone tightened.
The way he looked over the other end seemed as if he was upset, but it was a face she recognized whenever they interacted now. Through the slight darkness he sat in, she could still make out her name just above his eyebrow alongside her first initial right under his ear when he turned. The placement matching her tattoo of his first initial she had on her body.
"The house, with Malani. New one." She answered sharply, seeing him pause for a second before nodding with his attention going back on her.
He intook her physical appearance that looked better than it did hours prior, unbeknownst to him. All of her cuts and scars, alongside her black eye and minor swelling shone clearly from the reflecting light of the TV.
"Lemme talk to her." He said, seeing her little hand rested on Amerie's neck. Amerie yawned out as she handed the phone to her daughter who looked up at her confused. "Hey beautiful." He smiled, and hearing her fathers voice, she immediately shot her two toned eyes to stare down into the phone where she quickly grinned.
"Dada!" She screamed excitedly. She wasn't used to having one parent and being able to talk to the other on the phone, not at night or any day that wasn't Saturday at least. She was evidently confused, but just happy to have a "sleepover" with her mom. "You come?" She questioned.
"Not yet mama but soon, I promise." He smiled into the phone, one absolutely identical to hers. "But listen, while I'm not there you got to be good for your momma. You gon have to be careful with her and listen. Especially while she hurt, you can't be doing too much aight? " He raised an eyebrow to his daughter, who slowly raised her head towards her mother.
"Hurt?" She questioned to Amerie who held her closer. "I hurt you mama?"
"No baby, you're okay. Just be careful like your daddy said." She reassured the baby who only nodded before looking back to her father.
"Dada"
"Yes beautiful?" He leant back with his eyes never leaving Malani's.
"Pink you come home." She held up her pinky for Syre who immediately held his up for her.
"I pinky promise I'm coming home soon, very very soon. The more you a good girl, the faster imma be home." He tilted his head.
"Pwomise!" Malani nodded quickly, making both her parents smile. Brushing her curly hair that pulled into one with her palm, Amerie let out another yawn feeling that tiredness falling over her.
"Imma hold you to that, but I love you."
"I wuv you!" Malani blew a lazy kiss to the phone, just as Syre did the same.
"Aight baby, give the phone back to your momma." Amerie knitted her eyebrows together hearing him wanting to talk to her. She could tell Malani only picked up bits of what he said, making her grab the phone from her daughter herself to put her face in the camera.
For a minute they just stared at one another silently, but it was like the tension could be felt through the screen. He took a minute to scan his eyes over her battered and bruised face again that looked terrible, between the fresh scars and old wounds that were still trying to heal.
"You straight?" He finally broke the silence between them, making Amerie's eyes lower down into small slit. Hearing something so stupid coming from his mouth that she genuinely had no energy to entertain.
"You care?" She scoffed, watching his eyebrows knit together as his jaw clenched. He turned his head briefly, before focusing back on her.
"Bro- ion understand why talking to you always got to be like pulling teeth G, just answer my fucking question Amerie. It can't never be a simple conversation with you, and I try and stay calm out of respect, but I'm two seconds away from treating you like a random bitch off the street dude. And I promise youn want that, I promise you." He stared at her intently, but his words didn't phase her.
"Are you not the one who planned all this? No I'm not straight and no I won't ever be, not mentally and probably not physically after what the hell I've been through for almost 2 years. You don't even know the half of what I've been through, and I'd be crazy to think you'd even care." She chuckled bitterly, watching him nod slowly.
"Good that you know, don't waste yo breath shorty." He smirked, knowing exactly how to get under her skin no matter what the circumstances were.
Rolling her eyes, she hung up the phone and made sure to immediately block whichever number he called from. She had the least desire to communicate with him of all people, regardless of the fact she'd be forced to see him weekly because she refused to alter anything having to do with Malani seeing her father. No matter what she stood on that, nothing between them should alter either of their relationship with their daughter.
Taking a deep breath, she looked down to the opened eyes that stared up at her.
"Mad?" Malani tilted her head, making her quickly shake her head no.
"I'm okay boo, thank you." She smiled, giving her temple a small kiss. "But that little call just got you caught, it's going on 12. Bedtime mama." Amerie tapped her back gently, as she urged Malani into the space next to her so they could get out the bed.
Thankfully, the house was fully furnished and had absolutely everything from their clothes to a packed kitchen and pantry. There were also in-home maids and a nanny for until Amerie got better, to help with Malani.
"Wiff you?" She pointed, sitting up so Amerie could tie the scarf around her head.
"You want to sleep with me?" She pursed her lips, feeling a certain warmth run through her.
"Pwea!" Malani looked back as Amerie handed her her bonnet. "Tanks." She mumbled, placing it over her head just before laying down. She naturally crawled closer to Amerie to lay her head along her mother's chest.
"You can always sleep with me." She spoke softly, as she ran her hand up and down Malani's back to get her to sleep faster.
She held her daughter so close to her body, that it almost hurt her ribs that were so freshly wrapped. Amerie's head lowered carefully to plant the slowest, most delicate kiss along the forehead of her daughter. The feeling of so much freedom was one she needed to last a lifetime, just being there.
"I love you more than life itself, the reason I breathe." She whispered, before giving her one last kiss and a gentle pull to bring her in closer. Amerie just laid staring, ignoring the heaviness of her eyes out of fear for what she'd see when she did submit to sleep. So she didn't, instead she laid thinking...and thinking...and thinking until she just felt her mind shut down.
New beginnings, a new chapter in her life.
❣︎