GONER

By starboyvan

209K 8.8K 15K

He was so, so beautiful. And not in just the physical way. He was beautiful in what he was. Fire and smoke... More

1 • The Departure Announcment
2 • The Art Of Cutting Ties
4 • Spilled Coffee
5 • Happy Sad Songs and Bleacher Talks
6 • Crescent Moons and Stick Figures
7 • Memories On Fire
8 • Water Bottle Projectiles and Football Games
9 • Brothers and Decapitation
10 • Nachos Ft. The Collision
11 • Ice Cream Comes After Boxes With Fragile Things
12 • The Aunt Of A Stunt Man
13 • Lake Water
14 • The Reminder
15 • Glue and Smoke
16 • In Josh And Sidekick, I Attempt To Trust
17 • These Lights Flush You Out And You're Gorgeous
18 • Sweatshirt Art
19 • Invite The Rain To Stay
20 • Confess Confess
21 • Dresser Drawer
22 • Car Games
23 • Hide and Seek
24 • Cafeteria Collapse and Notes Suicide
25 • The Art Of Cutting Ties Pt. 2
26 • Humiliation Sighs and Deep-Rooted Lies
27 • Drugs and Doctors
28 • The Job of A Mattress Store
29 • Fear and Cars and The Pamphlet Project
30 • Red Skin and Movie Eyes
31 • Explosions and Moms Coming Around
32 • Towel Questions
33 • The Night Of Many Firsts
34 • Pulling Teeth and Pulling Sweatshirts
35 • Hide and Seek Pt. 2
36 • Troubled Navigation Of Human Beings
37 • How To Exist In A Mall During The Holidays
38 • Indestructible Declerations
39 • The Arrival Announcement (Final)
Epilogue
Explained
Appreciation
Appreciation Pt. 2

3 • Bedroom Window

6.5K 291 170
By starboyvan

It didn't take me long to figure out a few things about Ohio. First off, it was bit colder than I expected, and I kind of didn't want to stand outside on the porch of our new house for too much longer. The wind was blowing softly, but it was still enough to make me shiver, which meant it was too cold. Second, it had a mixture of urban and rural areas. This part of the state looked a little bit more urban, and I didn't know what to think of it. Honestly, when I thought of Ohio, I pictured field after field. And cows. Lots of cows. I wasn't sure why, but that's the kind of place I thought of. Third, it wasn't raining. Immediately, it struck me as odd, but then I remembered where I was currently standing. Which was not where I was used to.

"Where's the key?" I asked my mother shakily, tapping my foot in order to keep warm, which obviously wasn't working. Tapping your foot does nothing except for make you tired. Which is weird because you'd think that a foot wouldn't have that much to do with fatigue. Though, lots of things have lots to do with lots of thing, don't they?

The two suitcases I had packed were inside of my hands, and I sighed deeply, my breath coming out in small puffs. I watched her fiddle with the pieces of metal, before she actually managed to stick it in the keyhole.

"Yay," I said simply, when she pushed the door open. I could see from the way her skin was stretched from the back that she was smiling, and I tried to put some enthusiasm into my step as I walked through our brand new front door. She said she had looked at the house online, but never got a chance to view it from the inside. So this was new for both of us. And it was certainly interesting.

It was pretty big. It had a nice living room with decent furniture, a dainty kitchen, and three bedrooms. One was for me, for her, and then one that could serve as anything, really. Anything we wanted. I don't know, but that thought made me feel something I liked. Having a huge room to do whatever we wanted with it. It had potential.

"So, what do you think?" My mom asked happily, dropping her suitcase, two bags, and empty coffe mug down on to the carpet. She turned to face me, still smiling, and I threw a grin on my face.

"It's great," I replied, wheeling my luggage across the floor. I had already scanned everything from here, and just made my way up the stairs before I could burst into actual tears. Why we needed a house with stairs was unknown to me, considering it was just the two of us. But that was the last thing on my mind as I walked towards all of the bedrooms.

"Your room is the one on the right at the end of the hall. I figured that's the one you'd want," she called up behind me. I just smiled at her, before making my foot meet the final step.

The hallway seemed to be go on for miles, but when I finally got there, I opened the door quickly, not expecting anything much. All I had regarding requirements for a bedroom was that it had to have a window. Windowless places made me really upset for some reason. If I couldn't see what was going on outside, I felt incredibly anxious and trapped. I didn't care to actually venture out there, but I needed to know what was happening.

Spotting a large piece of glass, I smiled, before letting my eyes rake the space itself. It was average sized, with lime green walls and a fluffy bed with white bedding thrown over it. At that, I nodded contently. I loved white sheets and blankets.

In less then a second, I was on the fluffy bed, which actually had no headboard. It was two matresses in the left corner of the room, but I thought it looked cooler that way.

"Ty!" My mother's happy voice rang up, making me sigh into the pillow. "Are you unpacked yet?"

Yet? What did she mean yet? All I wanted to do was sleep. I had no clue as to why I was tired, because I didn't do much all day. But then again, doing nothing makes you more tired than anything else. Another thing I didn't understand, but yearned to.

Without me having answered her, I could hear her light footsteps coming towards me, and I groaned quietly. It wasn't loud enough for her to hear, but it was enough for me to show my annoyance to no one but these green walls and soft pillow.

"We should talk," she started, and before I could say anything, she was pushing the door to my new bedroom open, and sitting down on the edge of my bed. "About...you know, school."

Knowing what was coming, I tensed. "What about it?" I asked, voice muffled.

She sighed deeply. "Promise me that you'll try and keep your grades up this year."

Rolling my eyes secretly, I thought about her request. It wasn't that I didn't care about school. It's just that sadness made it hard to concentrate on anything but sadness. It left very little space for math problems or Shakespeare. Though, she wasn't aware of my feelings, and so she thought I was just being lazy.

"I'll try," I answered honestly.

"Look, Tyler," she started up all over again, and now it was my turn to sigh. Couldn't she see that this conversation topic wasn't that comfortable with me? "I know how hard this move was for you," another thing she thought she knew, but didn't, "and that you miss Seattle, but you're going to have to get out of this...mood. Besides, you have school in two days. Don't you wanna be at your best for your first day?"

"Can I just take a shower and sleep? Please." That was me trying to tell her to leave without actually saying it. If I had uttered those words, she would've scolded me for being rude. But if I told her how much I didn't care about school, she would've scolded me, too. Either way, she didn't know me, or agree with me about anything. Therefore, speaking to her is usually a waste of time. Another thing that I couldn't say.

"Yeah, Tyler," she breathed, "yeah."

Finally, with her words hanging in the air above both of our heads, she left. And for some reason, as soon as the door shut, I sat up, and welcomed the tears sliding down my emotionless face. Imagine that. But I just swiped the back of my hand against my cheekbone that continued to stick out, reminded myself to eat something, and made my way to the bathroom so I could cry in peace.

***
A/N: This is short. Please don't kill me :(( but I hope you enjoy this. I love writing this story.

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