Author notes: they're finally getting closerrrr
Tori's PoV
*----------*
Honestly, the last thing I expected when I was about to leave for school was a phone call from Jade, but a whole bunch of shit was weird with her lately. Normally Beck would've taken her to school, but she asked me instead. I was a little skeptical at first, but eventually I agreed to talking Trina into stopping by her place. When we arrived, Jade was already on the doorstep waiting for us. The ride was pretty quiet, she didn't speak much the whole time, and I definitely did not want to ask if something was wrong. She seemed pissed, and I didn't wanna repeat of yesterday. She didn't even tell my sister to shut up when she was singing badly to the music that was playing, and that was a pretty clear hint that something was seriously up. She spent the whole time staring out the window, whilst my eyes were fixed on her. I wondered what was going on, and I was starting to feel more worried for her by the day. Things were just getting weirder and weirder. She looked over at me a couple of times for a second, and I couldn't help but notice the sad glint in her bluey-green eyes. God, she was beautiful. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little jealous of her. She was so mysterious, and her hair flowed over her shoulders in such a way that it looked magical. The turquoise streaks dyed into it made her stand out in a crowd, not that she wouldn't anyway. She's Jade West, and I've never met anybody else like her. Even if she was mean most of the time, I still looked up to her in some type of weird way. It was really odd that she'd just started being nicer out of nowhere, right after that argument, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't sort of like it.
Once we arrived at school, she glanced over at me for a second.
"Thanks, Vega." She muttered, eyes staying on me for another few seconds. I sat there, mouth agape. Literally how the fuck does she have this effect on me, we're not even friends.
"Y-you're welcome." I stuttered, still a little in shock that this had genuinely happened. She called me out of all people. I saw a slight smile pull at her lips, and I swear I could've passed out right then and there. This shit was so weird.
And then she was gone, marching off into the building, whilst I sat there trying to comprehend this morning's events, still super confused as to what had even happened from yesterday's acting class up until now. It's like she switched up in two seconds, and I was seriously puzzled, and suspicious! I know Jade's always been unpredictable, but this was genuinely out of character for her. After a while, and a death glare from my sister, I finally got up and made my way toward the building.
Once I entered, I looked around at the crowded hallway, and scanned the area for Jade, but there was no sign of her. I figured she probably just went to go buy a coffee or something, and made my way over to my locker. Once I got there, I stood around checking my phone whilst I waited for the bell to ring. I couldn't see any of my friends, so I thought I'd check The Slap. I was scrolling, when I came across Jade's profile. Radio silence. Okay, now something was off. She'd post literally all the time, but hadn't posted one update in like a week. I put my phone back in the pocket of my jeans, and started fumbling around in my locker, when I was interrupted.
"Boo!" A familiar high pitch voice called.
"Hey, Cat." I spoke, turning around to be met with her and her bright red hair. She smiled at me, bouncing up and down on her feet.
"Have you seen Jade? I didn't see her with Beck when he walked past earlier." She asked, clearly unaware of the fact that I had been the one to bring her friend in.
"Uh, yeah. I drove her in today." I responded, smiling back at Cat. Suddenly, her smile faded.
"What? Why? Was she okay?" Cat asked, now appearing worried. I honestly felt guilty for her, she was losing her best friend right in front of her eyes, and couldn't even do anything to help. I pulled my books out of my locker, and slammed it shut before answering her.
"Uhh, yeah I think so. She was real quiet, though." I assured, trying to make Cat feel a little better. "Wanna walk to class together?" I asked, trying to change the subject now that I'd noticed how upset she looked. I tried to stay smiling, in an attempt to not stress the readhead out further.
"Yeah, sure." Cat murmured, now beginning to walk away, following me.
Once we arrived to Sikowitz's class, to nobody's surprise, he was yet again late. I scanned the room upon entry, where I noticed that Jade had shown up this time, but was seated in Cat's usual seat, so that Cat would be sitting in between her and Beck. Beck was sat there too, not looking at or speaking to his girlfriend. We took our seats, and I turned around to face the others. Robbie and Andre were there too, now chatting with Cat about her day.
"Guys, I got news." Andre suddenly announced, hands in the air. I assumed it would likely be about his party, so I turned my head to listen. I noticed Jade turn to look, but she looked kind of upset, which was weird because she's the one that convinced me to even go in the first place, but she didn't seem all that happy about it herself. "I spoke to the guy! He said we can have the house Friday, and I asked him how many people we can invite, and he told me he doesn't even care! We can literally just tweet about it." He continued, now laughing, clearly happy about this all. Everyone else seemed pretty over the moon too, and to be honest, the more I thought about it, it actually started to sound like fun. But the thing is, I couldn't get myself to show it, as when I looked over at Jade she looked pissed, and I literally could not stop worrying about her lately.
"Hell yeah, Man! I'm so excited for this." Beck suddenly chimed in, and it was the first thing I'd heard him say all day. Jade glared at him, clearly pissed off for one reason or another. Beck noticed, and frowned at her. "Dude, what is wrong with you today, you're looking at me like you hate me for no reason." He suddenly snapped. My eyes widened. Woah, I was not expecting that.
"Dude, you literally bailed on me this morning for some other chick, and now you're starting shit?" Jade snapped back, her chest now rising and falling noticeably as she breathed. She looked as mad as she did yesterday.
Out of nowhere, the door flew open, ending their argument. Our teacher came storming in and ran up towards the stage. Perfect timing.
"Good morning all!" He called out, a wide smile on his face. My head turned to look at him, before snapping back to Jade, who now looked angrier than I've ever seen her. Without warning, she grabbed her bag and stood up, storming out of the classroom. She slammed the door behind her, causing me to lean back slightly.
"Jade, wait!" Cat called as she left, but it was too late. She was long gone. Sikowitz kept his eyes on the door.
"What is it with her and leaving lately? Is it something I said?" Our teacher joked, actually causing me to smirk to myself a little bit, despite the situation. I slowly turned back around to face the front, when I saw him standing right in front of me, looking down at me.
"...Hello?" I spoke, wondering what he could possibly want from me now. I heard Beck sigh behind me.
"Tori, go get her, please." Sikowitz sighed. What? Why me? Everyone turned to look at me, slightly fearful now, which didn't help my mood much either. I felt my stomach tighten, and my palms begin to sweat.
"What? Why me?" I asked, yelling a little as I did so. Did this man not see the argument me and Jade had yesterday? I seriously did not want to go.
"Tori, just go get her." Sikowitz hastily responded, not taking no for an answer. I turned round to face my friends, who all had a 'good luck' look on their face. I stood up, and slowly made my way to the door, not wanting to argue, but also not wanting to face the angry girl.
As I made my way into the hallway, I scanned the area, but couldn't spot the raven haired girl anywhere. I considered just giving up and telling Sikowitz I couldn't find her, but I was stopped by my own worry for her. Maybe getting killed by her was going to be worth it, if it meant I didn't leave her feeling like nobody cared. I continued searching the area to no avail. I started to try and think to myself where she could be.
She could be outside... But no, she'd get caught and they'd have sent her back to class. She could be with Lane, but probably not, she's not really the type to actually go to a school counsellor. Wait. That's it!
Eventually, it hit me. The janitor's closet. If she was there, then weirdly, it wouldn't be the first time I found her in there and ended up alone with her in there. I mean, it was worth a look, at least.
I made my way toward the door, and tried to look in, but the blind was down. Welp, guess I gotta go in. I placed my hand on the handle, and took a deep breath. I shut my eyes and cracked the door open slightly, when I heard a familiar noise.
"Vega! Get the fuck out of here!"
Ah, typical Jade. Normally, I'd have just left, but shit had been so weird with her lately that I didn't feel like giving up so easily. As I opened my eyes, I saw her sitting on the floor, back against a trash can. My face changed to a worried one when I noticed her eyes were glossed over, and there were tears running down her cheeks.
"No, Jade. What's wrong?" I asked, confidently entering the closet and shutting the door behind me. The raven haired girl looked genuinely shocked at my resistance. I wasn't about to give up on her this time, especially not because she was literally crying alone.
"Vega, I fucking mean it." She reiterated, glaring at me now, raising a finger to point at me.
"No, West." I hissed. I wasn't about to take her abuse, I needed to find out what was wrong. Over the past day, she'd switched up on me, Cat had told me that she's going through shit, and to be completely honest, I hadn't stopped worrying about her all morning and all of last night. So when I say I needed to find out what was wrong, I meant it. I couldn't hold back my words anymore. "To be completely honest with you, Jade, as much as you might hate me, I care about you. No matter what you say to me, I have literally never given up on trying to be nice to you. Not once. And if you weren't aware, we all see how off you're being lately. And it's freaking me the fuck out because as mean as you can be, it worries the shit out of me seeing you act so different. So don't go yelling at me this time, because I am going to stand here until you say something respectful to me." I blurted out, now looking at her with an extremely serious face. She sat there silently, just looking up at me, but I could see fresh tears forming in her eyes. "Please, just talk to me, Jade." I finished, in a final attempt to get her to talk to me about what was up. Finally, I heard her sigh. Her lips parted slightly to form a quiet response.
"Fine." She whispered, wiping her tears on her sweater sleeve. I felt like I'd succeeded. "I just really don't wanna go to that party." Is all she managed to croak out through her tears. I noticed her crying harder, and left the door to go sit down next to her. She seemed a little uncomfortable at first, but settled down shortly after I sat by her.
"Why don't you wanna go?" I questioned, placing my hand on her shoulder. She flinched at my touch, and I felt her whole body tense up, but she didn't ask me to stop, and after a few moments I felt her relax.
"Because." She whimpered, voice rough from crying.
****
Jade's PoV
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Seriously what the fuck was happening. I let Vega stay, now I was crying in front of her, letting her sit by me and even put her hand on me. I was supposed to hate her, but after what she said, and her patience for me, I couldn't help but just let her help me. Her hand felt warm on my shoulder, and I couldn't take my focus off of the feeling whilst we spoke.
"Because." I spoke, my voice cracking a little. I felt her squeeze my shoulder a little as this happened, sending a shiver down my back. "Because of Beck." I finished, feeling tears start burning away in my eyes again. Vega's face dropped a little at this.
"Oh, Jade. What's going on? Cat's been so worried about you, you're not talking to anyone." She murmured, in the softest tone I've ever heard her speak in. I hesitated a little, but she spoke again. "Please, Jade. Talk to me."
Something about the way she was speaking made me wanna talk. I was looking straight into her eyes now, and I felt even more obligated to tell her when I saw that doe-eyed look. Fuck, what is happening? Why do I not hate her one bit right now. Do I want her here? I think I want her here. Get it together, Jade.
"It's just so shitty right now. We keep on arguing, then pretending like everything's fine, but its exhausting, Tori." I managed to say, despite the tears now falling from my eyes again. It felt really fucking good to get this out, even if it was to her. Before I could continue talking, I felt her thumb against my cheek, wiping away my tears, which just kept on falling harder and harder. I froze at her touch, I wasn't expecting it, but it was weirdly comforting. Her hands were soft, and the way her fingers grazed against my skin caused heat to rush to my face. Oh my god, Jade, seriously get it together. "He ditched me this morning for some girl from his writing class, so I called you because nobody else could take me." I finally continued, my voice still cracking. "And I don't wanna go to that stupid fucking party because I know I'm just gonna have to watch like ten other bitches flirt with him, and he's not gonna stick up for me. Not one time." I finished, now full on sobbing. Tori's eyes met mine, and the way she looked at me was making me feel so weak. Like I had to tell her anything she wanted to know. This was a new feeling for me, and I fucking hated it. I found myself coughing and spluttering now, sobbing harder and harder as the seconds went by. I could hardly even breathe, I was hysterical. I had no clue what was happening, but for some reason, Vega being there made it all seem a whole lot less shitty.
"Hey, Jade, breathe." I heard the brunette speak, now pulling me into a tight hug. Normally, I would've yelled at her, but not today. Today, all I could do was melt into her body as she held me tighter and tighter. I gasped as I tried to breathe, gripping onto Vega's arm as I did so.
"H-he cant leave. I don't want to break up with him." I sobbed, holding her arm even tighter now.
"Slow down, I've got you, please breathe, Jade. It's okay. Nobody's saying anything about you guys breaking up." She hastily responded, pulling me even closer if it was even possible.
"It feels like he's gonna leave. Everything's been going so downhill lately. It feels like it has to happen, I just don't want it to." I managed to choke through my tears, my voice vibrating against Tori's chest.
"Jade, I promise you that whatever happens it'll be okay." She responded. Something about the way she was speaking made me feel like I needed to hear her to be okay. "Just please breathe, I'm begging you." She added, now beginning to stroke my hair. God, her touch was so comforting. I found myself trying to take slower, deeper breaths now, and she continued to hold me as I did so. As I felt myself become able to breathe normally, I felt her grasp on me loosen. I felt a little cold from the loss of her touch, but to be honest, I was just glad I could breathe. I pulled my head back from her chest, and she reached out to my face to wipe my face again.
"See, you're okay." She whispered, hand still on my cheek. "Your makeup is smudged." She added, chuckling a little. I couldn't help but feel a smile pull at the corner of my lips. I'm literally going against everything I stand for right now, what the fuck.
"I really don't wanna go to that party, Tori." I spoke, my voice rough from crying. She smiled at me, and removed her hand from my cheek, causing my face to feel cold.
"Well, me neither. But if we both do it, we can just get it over with, okay? And I'll hang out with you if you'd like." The brunette assured, and for some reason, it no longer sounded so bad. But, she was getting a little ahead of herself, so I had to put her back in her place.
"I'd have to be shitfaced drunk to hang out with you, Vega." I laughed. She chuckled a little at this too, I mean, who would I be without some shitty comments?
"Aw, so kind. Anyways, I'll take you to the bathroom so we can wash your makeup off, and then we should really go back to class." She giggled, looking right into my eyes. I smiled at her, turning my eyes away from her before I actually fucking blushed or some shit.
"I don't think I'm going back there. Just tell them you couldn't find me." I responded, my face dropping a little now. Tori remained smiling.
"That's okay, I get it. Now come on, you gotta wash that makeup off." She responded, making me feel normal. She didn't pressure me, and she understood what I meant. Jesus, maybe she really was a good choice for if I ever wanted another friend.
"Alright, alright." I laughed, but still, the idea of being her friend didn't sound quite right to me yet. "But seriously, speak of this and you're dead, okay? We can't be friends." I added, my face now dropping, as I added a serious tone to my voice.
"I understand." Is all Vega replied with, making me feel a little guilty, if I'm honest.
****
The rest of the day had passed, and I spent most of it hiding out in different rooms. After I'd washed my makeup, Vega went back to class and I stayed hiding, because it was safer. Once the end of the day hit, I heard the bell ring and I made my way out into the parking lot. I knew I'd have to get the bus home today, nobody could give me a ride, and I doubt Beck would even offer, and if he did, I didn't know if I even wanted to face him after earlier.
I stood alone, and pulled out my phone when I realised I'd not checked my phone since I left, and I had a shit ton of missed messages. Oh fuck.
2 missed calls- Noah:p , 8 new messages- Noah:p
Noah: Have a good day Jade, i hope ur ok!
Noah: I am at school now
Noah: Why aren't you replying? r u ok?
Noah: Are you mad?? Sissss
Noah: Pls reply, im bored and worried abt u
Noah: Jade ur rlly worrying me now, I haven't heard from u since earlier and u didnt even say bye before u left
Noah: I texted beck and he doesn't know where ur at
Noah: Pls be okay
Oh fuck, I didn't mean to worry the kid even more than he already was
Jade: Omg im so sorry, noah. I didn't see any of these, I was studying alone today. I'll be home soon, k?
Noah: Oh thank god youre okay. I'll see u when u get home.
At least he wasn't too mad at me.
I started making my way to the bus stop when I was interrupted by the person I wanted to be interrupted least by right now. Beck. God, out of anyone I could see, I didn't wanna see him. We fought in front of everyone, and it fucked me up. Shit's embarrassing.
"Jade, we need to talk." He called out to me, voice low and serious. He placed his hand on my shoulder, trying to stop me from walking away. I wanted to ignore him so bad, but I couldn't avoid it anymore.
"What do you want?" I snapped, turning around to face him. I glared directly at him. He removed his hand from my shoulder, and sighed deeply.
"Please come to my car, babe."
I couldn't think of anything worse right now, but I felt way too bad to say no, and maybe a chance at sorting this argument out was the right thing to do, but of course I had to put up a fight first.
"Why should I?" I retorted, still glaring right at him.
"Because, I love you and we need to fix this." He answered. His words caused a physical pain in my heart, this wasn't a game anymore.
"Fine." I muttered under my breath, following him to his car.
The ride was silent and awkward. Eventually we pulled up to the forest. He brought me here, because it was one of our favourite places to go. We made our way into the forest, surrounded by thick trees. I liked how quiet it was. We made our way to our usual spot, perched up on a large rock by a tall ass tree. I found myself unable to look at him, and I could only keep my eyes on the floor.
I looked up when I heard the sound of a lighter sparking, lighting a cigarette, which my boyfriend was now smoking. He offered me the pack, and I accepted his offer, lighting my own and taking a long drag. It was silent this whole time, but for some reason it wasn't awkward.
"So..." I heard his low voice rumble, making me flinch a little as the silence broke. I turned to look at him.
"I'm sorry about earlier, I shouldn't have ditched you." He spoke as his eyes met mine. I smiled a little. At least he was sorry. "You love me again?" He asked, completely washing the smile that had just formed off of my face. Was this whole fight seriously about to just be over? Just like that? I took a deep sigh, and removed my cigarette from my mouth, ashing it on the rock.
"Beck, I never stopped loving you. But I'm tired. I'm tired of fighting all the time. I'm tired of being your second choice. I'm tired of it, and it's been going on so long. And don't play dumb, because I know you feel that too. And now we're just gonna go back to normal again, and it's just gonna happen. All over again." I blurted out. I wasn't planning on saying all of that, but after earlier, and how hysterical I was, I couldn't hold my feelings in. He extinguished his cigarette on the rock, and threw it on the ground. His face dropped, he looked hurt now.
"Babe, maybe we should break up." He spoke. My face snapped up to meet his. No, this can't be happening. I was shocked, surely he wasn't actually going to do this to me, right here, right now.
"What?!" I snapped, now terrified. It's kind of funny. I saw this coming for weeks, but now it was happening, it's the last thing I wanted. Like, all the battles I fought in my head about being able to trust him were pointless, because I was wrong. He did leave. I don't know if he even had a choice, and I don't blame him for doing it, because it's what had to happen. But regardless, it meant everything I'd spent years being afraid of was now becoming real. Right here, right now, in one of my favourite places on Earth. This shit was so fucking unfair. He's all I had, and like I said before, he comforted me. And I was about to lose all of that. I was about to lose that safety net, I was about to lose the person I'd trusted most. What was I gonna tell Noah, man. I didn't wanna freak him out. This was the worst thing ever. How was I gonna get home? For once, I felt like I had to drop all the bitchiness. This was serious, this was real. 2 years together were about to end, like for real. 2 years of promises, of love. It was ending, and I was so scared. I felt like I couldn't even look at Beck right now. Fuck him for even thinking of ending it. Wait, no. It has to end. I turned my head to the ground, awaiting his response. This shit was becoming real.
"You're right." He finally managed to speak, his voice shy. "We can't ignore this any more. We argue all the fucking time. I love you so much, I really fucking do, but we can't keep bringing each other down like this. It hurts. I'm hurting you, and you're hurting me. We've tried to fix it, and it always goes back to this bullshit." He continued, looking at me with a serious face. Fuck, I hated that he was right. I couldn't even respond, I think I was honestly a little in shock.
"I'm so sorry Jade, I really am. I didn't wanna do this." He continued, trying to console me the best he could for somebody who just ended a 2 year relationship in about 2 minutes. I finally found the courage to talk.
"I hate this so fucking much." I whimpered, now feeling myself about to cry. He reached out to put his arm on my shoulder, but I moved away. "I hate that you're fucking right." I continued, now feeling the tears begin to fall down my cheeks.
"So, this is it? It's really over?" Beck asked, now sounding ridiculously upset himself. This had to have been one of the hardest moments of my life. Neither of us wanted this, really. It just needed to happen. I hate when life does that.
"I guess so..." I whispered, now refusing to look at him at all, but I could feel his eyes still fixed on me. He got up from where he was seated.
"You, uh, need a ride home?" He finally asked, clearly about to leave. What a stupid fucking question. Of course I don't. Did I need one? Yes, I really did. But to get in a car with him right after we just broke up? No way. I get that he just wanted me to be safe, but really, there was no point in even asking.
"No, I'm fine. Just go." I snapped, hoping he'd leave. I finally looked back at him, and he shot me a small smile before walking away. No, please don't go... But he has to go. I wanted him to go. Why do I never know what I fucking want? I watched him leave, and this time, it didn't feel like the other times we'd broken up. It felt real. Like there was really no going back. We'd both acknowledged how fucked our relationship was, and there was no recovering it. Tears streamed down my face as I watched him disappear into the distance. I heard his car start, and pull away. He was really gone. I jumped down from the rock, but felt myself collapse to the floor as I landed, causing me to hit my head against the floor.
"Fuck! Jade, you're so fucking stupid. Why would you let him fucking leave?" I screamed at myself, still collapsed on the floor. I felt a stinging pain on my forehead, and lifted my fingers to touch it. When I removed them, I noticed blood. I felt like I was gonna vomit, and the cut on my head was the last of my concern at this point. He was gone. I felt myself sobbing harder and harder as the time passed. If I fucking die here, who cares. I didn't even know how, or if I was gonna make it home. Today is officially the worst fucking day of my life, and shit, this was really real. My chest felt tight. I didn't even wish this type of pain on my worst enemy.